Friendship or love how to distinguish. New dates and jealousy. How true love differs from other feelings: psychology

From time to time, without even knowing it, we become close to our best friend before we realize that we have crossed the friendship line. It turns out that everything turned into love. So are you more than friends or just good comrades? Find out before it's too late.

Do you both feel that there is some kind of chemistry between you, and this is clearly something more than friendship? Or do the people you both hang out with always tell you that this already feels like the beginning of a relationship?

Sometimes two good friends can have so many common interests and happy moments that a simple friendship can turn into something more complex over time.

A great friend is a great companion, but a good lover is an even better companion. And who can argue with this logic? After all, this is the law of love.

So how do you understand who you really are to each other - friends or not? Use these ten tips to understand your relationship status.

You both call each other every day

This may start with occasional calls to keep in touch or exchange gossip. But over time, the calls become more frequent and longer, and conversations usually last until late at night. Soon, both of you can't sleep without talking at night, and it all ends in sweet dreams and daydreams. Have you ever been in such a situation? For most good friends who like each other, this is exactly what happens.

Sharing secrets and opinions

Lovers finish each other's sentences. Friends who turn into lovers share secrets and opinions. It's fun to talk about secrets and dirty details that no one else knows about. Does your friend know that you sleep naked? Or did you find out that your friend was wearing black lingerie during a long phone call last night? Friends who are attracted to each other can't help but flirt. And they really like to share intimate secrets.

Both of you are overprotective of each other.

Friends who are on the edge of friendship and love always protect each other. Do you ask your friend to call you and let you know as soon as he gets home? Or do either of you always try to help another person in a difficult situation?

Good friends help each other from time to time, even when they are not asked to do so. But friends who are ready for the next stage of the relationship are always trying to be close, regardless of whether she is buying new clothes, working on a project, or going on another date.

New dates and jealousy

Is your friend very attractive? Most likely, this is true. He probably has a lot of fans. And from time to time, your friend will be very happy to go on a date with someone who really likes him.

Do you get annoyed when your friend goes on a date with someone he likes, or even when he talks excitedly about his upcoming rendezvous? If you find yourself blowing up when he's having a good time with someone other than you, there's a good chance you're more than friends or maybe you're just an overly jealous friend.

Spend all your weekends and holidays together

Groups of friends meet in the evenings or on weekends. When you meet your friend, do you spend time alone or in a large group? Weekends and holidays are a time of leisure and happy moments. If you're both dating and spending a lot of time with each other, it's obvious that this is the type of company you enjoy.

You go on dates with each other

You certainly don't call these get-togethers dates if you're just friends. But you know what we mean by that, don't you? If a new restaurant opens in town or a new movie is released, the first thought that comes to your mind is: “Should I go to the movies with my friend?” This doesn't mean that you no longer have anyone to go to the cinema or restaurant with. You invite a friend precisely because you like to share your new experiences with him. Well what can I say... This is definitely more than friendship.

Call each other affectionate words and animal names

Do you and your friend have exclusive animal names for each other? People subconsciously come up with them only when they feel warm feelings for each other. Pet names are quite personal and very affectionate. The most ordinary, real friends do not do this. Only people who love each other do this.

You are extremely loyal to each other

Do you stand by your friend no matter what? Or can you both count on each other for help or advice even in the middle of the night? Of course, trust is present in companionship, but in this case there is a hint of uncertainty of status.

On the other hand, when you are in love, you expect your partner to be completely loyal to you and always be there for you, no matter what. When you're in love, you both try your best to be faithful and considerate.

So you're both very loyal to each other? There is a good chance that this is no longer just friendship, but the beginning of something serious.

Lots of affection and hugs

This is one of the surest signs that you are more than friends. Do you spend most of your time holding hands or resting your head on a friend's shoulder? Tight, long hugs and occasional kisses on the lips are not entirely acceptable for friendships.

And seriously, why do you immediately start hugging your “friend” when you meet? Do all comrades really do this, or maybe those who are more than friends do this?

Do you want to kiss your friend

It may be a fleeting thought, but if it crosses your mind every time your friend cuddles with you, you're probably more than just friends anymore. After all, they don't think about kissing each other or dating each other. They also don't make stupid pacts like "let's get married if we don't find someone else when we turn thirty."

The fact that you are considering your friend as a potential dating partner shows that there is something more between you. And if you observe the signs described above, then you can most likely be congratulated.

Let's say you come to the point that you are no longer just friends, what now?

This is quite a difficult part of relationships. Just because you both are more than friends doesn't actually mean that this is the person you've been waiting for and you'll get married soon. It could all just be a passing fancy or even lust.

In some cases, you may not like your friend very much, but you may be interested in what could happen to you next if you became close. If these signs seem to be mutual, then you are on the happy path of a relationship in the “more than friends” stage. Ask yourself, do you really want to become someone very close to each other, and not just a friend, or would it be much more convenient and comfortable for you to remain just friends without any obligations?

If you want your friendship to develop into something more, say something to your friend like, “I wonder why we haven’t been dating yet?” And he will understand exactly what you mean.

Use these ten tips to find out if you really have chemistry. And if you find out that there is something more than friendship between you, start taking some action! If it's mutual, then why not try? What if this is the happiness of your whole life? Until you try, you won't know.

Friendship and romantic relationships have a lot in common, so how can you find that fine line between friendship and love?

Friendship between a guy and a girl is quite a common phenomenon, because people may simply like to spend time with each other, they have common interests and hobbies.

Recognizing the difference between friendship and love is a task that interests people at all times. It often happens that friendship develops into love and passion. And true love can always be complemented by notes of friendship. We can conclude that these two directions are inextricably linked.

It can be misleading to think about how your partner feels about the other person. What ways are there to determine that a truly bright feeling called love has arisen between friends?

What is the difference between friendship and love?

Friendship is a case of not letting the camaraderie fade away. Communication and communication in this case must be maintained.

If this is love, then you strive not to separate for a second. You need constant communication with your partner. For example, it is possible that the partner was offered a very lucrative job offer. In this case, he will either refuse the position or take his significant other with him;

True friendship is when someone talks or flirts with your other one, you feel happiness and joy for them.

If you flirt with a potential admirer of yours, you begin to feel jealous;

The great thing about friendship is that you feel like you've found a kindred spirit with similar interests. A person similar to you. Love is a part of you that should harmoniously complement. Without which you would be half less.

Due to the fact that love and friendship are very similar to each other, it is necessary to constantly control yourself, listen to your feelings and heart.

More romantic relationships arise from large, strong friendships.

The one you choose as your loved one should, first of all, be your friend and constantly support you. Various cases are possible, for example, a game of one goal - when one person is head over heels in love with that person who reciprocates the feelings not to the same extent, half. It seems like there is sympathy, but that love fire in the eyes is not present. Try to clearly understand your feelings and those of your partner together.

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Friendship between a girl and a guy can be found quite often. The reasons for this may be different - some people simply like to communicate with each other, others are united by common interests. Together, friends go to the cinema, art exhibitions and clubs. They like to communicate with other companies and problems in friendly relations never arise.

However, it happens that either a girl or a guy begins to understand that their relationship is more than friendship and begins to doubt their feelings, worrying that now they will not be able to be friends as before. Often this requires some kind of catalyst. For example, a friend has a girlfriend and now they spend a lot of time together, but he meets his girlfriend less and less. She begins to be jealous and soon realizes that her friend is much closer to her and it seems that these are completely different feelings, not friendly. Feelings can also be affected by separation. Having met a couple of months later, the friends realize how much they missed each other and realize that the relationship has gone beyond the border of friendship. How do you understand that love has truly emerged between friends and they can no longer just be friends?

Analyze the feelings you have for your friend.

1. Understand yourself and your feelings for the young man you are friends with. If you notice at least one of the following signs in yourself, it means that you are in love with your friend.

2. You are jealous of your friend's girlfriend. You are annoyed that they spend a lot of time together, and therefore you try in every possible way to interfere with their privacy. You ask to go on dates with them, arrange random meetings, and all in order to demonstrate to your friend’s beloved that he is not her property and that you, too, are vying for his attention.

3. If there is some tension in your relationship with your friend’s beloved, most likely she sees you as a rival, just as you see her. You just can’t find a common language, which your friend really doesn’t like. If a friend often refuses to meet you because he goes out with his girlfriend, it means that she is jealous of him, otherwise she wouldn’t mind rare walks together.

4. If you are in love, you are constantly trying to find some flaws in your friend's girlfriend. You make fun of her, calling her pompous or stupid, and never tire of repeating that she is absolutely not suitable for the young man with whom you are friends.

There is never any awkwardness between friends. They can sit and discuss events, eat chips and laugh if someone has crumbs on their lips. It’s not a problem for friends to talk about a time when they embarrassed themselves in public, as they don’t feel any embarrassment. If you are in love with a friend, you cannot behave like that. You will always try to look good and positive, and be sensitive to any criticism. It will be extremely important for you what your friend thinks of you, how you looked in front of him, so you simply cannot behave frivolously in front of him. Often in a conversation you will even stumble if you are embarrassed, because you will realize that you really like your friend.

Friends may not meet for a couple of days or weeks and this is absolutely normal for them, since they do not feel the need to see each other every day. However, if you love your friend, you really need to know where he is now and how he spends his time. You want to call him or meet him by chance. All your thoughts are occupied with the guy, you are worried that another girl will take your place. When parting with a friend, you catch yourself thinking that you really want to meet tomorrow or at least talk on the phone.

A friend is someone you can relax with and talk nonsense to, knowing that he will try to understand everything. Scandals and conflicts rarely arise between friends. If lately your feelings for a friend have become stronger, your emotions are simply going through the roof, and scandals simply cannot help but happen between you. You will not be indifferent to the fact that he forgot to call you yesterday, forgot about the meeting, or that he made an unfortunate joke about you. In general, there will be many reasons to be offended. Out of resentment, you may even burst into tears in front of a friend, and he simply will not be able to understand why your relationship has become so tense and difficult.

When falling in love, a girl is sensitive to what her friend says and does. Therefore, if you are in love, you cannot be indifferent to the fact that your friend drinks in large quantities or hangs out with young people who clearly have a dubious reputation. You will try to change him for the better, you will criticize him and stop him from doing what seems wrong to you. A cigarette smoked by a friend on your part will be accompanied by a long tirade about how smoking is harmful and that he needs to take care of his health. The fact is that people in love try to treat each other with care, so they try to be aware of all their plans and always warn against possible risks. If you treat your friend in a friendly manner, you will not be bothered by the fact that he is overcome by the desire to take part in auto racing. Only a girl in love will try to stop him and talk some sense into him.

Analyze what you do together

To understand what kind of relationship you have with your friend, you can also analyze how you spend time with him, where you go and how often.

If you are in love with your friend, you try to hang out as often as possible. You don’t even want to think about dating someone, since you already feel good with your friend. On Friday and Saturday evenings you always meet with him and even if you are in company, you practically never part. If there is just friendship between you, you can meet several times a month, and that will be enough for you.

When going to a meeting with a friend, you try to look very good, choose makeup and appropriate clothes, because you simply cannot afford to look bad. Spend hours in front of the mirror and not because you think you will meet some guy with whom you can possibly start a relationship. If it is taboo for you to come to a meeting with a friend in sportswear and with an unwashed hair, it means that you want to make an extremely positive impression on your friend and most likely this is another sign that you are in love.

If a friend said that you look simply amazing and this made you blush, then you are not at all indifferent to how he treats you. You hope that he has romantic intentions, since you yourself have thought about it more than once.

If you treat your friend in a friendly manner, then it is completely normal for you to hang out with him and his lover. You react normally if a friend kisses a girl and cares for her in front of you. If such a pastime annoys you, like your friend’s girlfriend, then you are in love. Your suspicions should increase if your friend’s beloved is wary of you. This means that she sees you as a rival and naturally no friendly relations can arise between you.

If you're just friends, it won't occur to anyone around you to say that you're acting like a couple. Everyone sees that there is only friendship between you and there are no ridicule or hints from your company towards you and your friend. If you are in love with your friend, there will be a couple of people who will express their guesses about this.

Note that from the outside the situation is always seen more objectively, and if someone told you that in the presence of your friend your eyes light up and you feel embarrassed, then it is quite possible that you have a feeling of falling in love. If you think this is stupid and you just walk away from such conversations, perhaps you really are friendly towards the guy. But if these words made you blush and think that your friend is really very close to you and your friendship has become very important to you, perhaps you really have romantic feelings.

Friends can go to another city for a while and forget, tell their friend about it. They will not worry that something happened to their friend and will be convinced that everything is fine with him. However, if you are in love, you will try to tell the guy your plans, and will be interested in what he plans to do and when you can meet. Communication with a friend is very important to you and you painfully endure parting with him, which means you are either very attached to him or in love.

When your friend invites you to go out, your heart is beating wildly, and you are chaotically thinking about what to wear, then you care about how you look in front of your friend. The phone rings and you happily run up to it, hoping that it’s the guy you’re friends with? It's not like a simple friendship, your feelings are definitely deeper.

Talk to your friend

If you realize that you have fallen in love, you should not drown out your feelings and pretend that nothing happened. Love is a wonderful feeling, and if there is at least one chance in a hundred that your friend also cares about you, you should definitely talk to him. Observe your friend, how often he smiles at you, how he cares for you, and you will understand the depth of his feelings for you.

Confessing your love to your friend, you have many advantages, since you know him very well and therefore can structure the conversation in such a way that neither he nor you feel awkward.

For such a conversation, you should plan everything so that no one can interfere with you. The most relaxed atmosphere is at home, so make a friend some coffee, treat him to his favorite cookies and share with him the reasoning that your relationship has changed recently and you would like to know how he views trying to start a love relationship. By saying this, you risk absolutely nothing, because your friend already loves you and values you, which means he will never allow you to be ridiculed or offended.

If the guy doesn’t mind and wants to start a new stage in your relationship, that’s great, because you have smoothly moved from the “friends” category to the “lovers” category. As a friend to your boyfriend, you will be able to trust and know that you can always rely on him.

You can hear a different answer from a friend. However, in this case, you do not lose anything, since friendship between you is already impossible. You are not going to silently look at him when he kisses other girls, and you certainly will not discuss the problems of his love relationships with him. Therefore, if you heard “No”, it is better to let your friend go, you don’t need to ask him to think, he will do it anyway, because you have given him considerable food for thought. Perhaps, realizing how much he misses you, he himself will understand that he is in love and after a while you will talk about your feelings again, but on his initiative.

Under no circumstances should you use your friendship and your mutual friends to achieve your goals. This can hopelessly ruin everything; if a guy wants a relationship with a girl, he will definitely let her know about it, especially if she previously told him about her feelings. In any case, perceive your friend’s reaction to your confession adequately and without unnecessary emotions. A girl should always hold herself proudly and not lose composure, only then will a guy respect her.

If your friend has a girlfriend, things are much more complicated. But even in this case, talking to a friend is better than constantly being tormented by jealousy and gradually spoiling your relationship with your friend. However, this does not apply to cases where you know that your friend is in love with his girlfriend and they are in a serious relationship. No matter how painful it is, in such cases you will have to step aside. You can gradually reduce your communication with your friend, and if he directly asks why you don’t want to communicate with him, you can tell him the truth and he will understand.

If you know that the relationship between your friend and his girlfriend is far from ideal, you have a chance to positively solve your problem. Perhaps, if you admit your feelings, you will not only save your friend from a useless relationship, but also make him happy. The main thing is that when building your new relationship with a friend, be careful and patient. Just because you were friends before doesn't mean you need to rush, be yourself and open your heart to your new lover.

Pages of love

Psychologists say that a woman who believes in her can have friendship with a man. If a lady is sure that men are always looking for a reason to get closer to their girlfriend, then she herself, wittingly or unwittingly, will provoke him to take daring steps. It turns out that whether we can be friends with a man depends on how much we believe in it and are ready for it.

And yet, it sometimes happens that even women who believe in friendship between people of different sexes are faced with situations where, under the guise of friendship, a man tries to gain the trust and win the heart of a woman, to persuade her to love or even marry. In the most cynical cases, men can, under the pretext of being friends, hide their desire to get sex from an unavailable lady. And having achieved their goal, they disappear from her life without a trace.

If you are tormented by the dilemma of how to define friendship between a man and a woman or love, first of all, you need to understand whether it is friendship? Friendship is characterized by more than just the desire to hang out together, drink coffee or go to lunch during a break from the office routine. A friend remains a friend even in a difficult situation. He helps you get out of problems, is ready to listen to whining and will always help, at least with advice. If you have successfully identified friendship, and you see that there is friendship between you and a man or between your man and a supposed rival, it’s time to move on to the next stage - look for signs that a man is in love. Let's list just a few of them.

Increased emotionality

A man in love, first of all, reveals himself with emotions. And although many men are good at hiding their feelings, you can easily see if he is nervous or jittery when he talks about his girlfriend. Sometimes men begin to show dissatisfaction or concern if other people ask them about the nature of their relationship with a certain lady. But if you see that he is rushing towards her on wings and with all his might, and from her he comes excited and satisfied, it is quite possible that this is not just friendship, this is love.

Desire to care

This sign is the most complex and ambiguous. The desire to help and care can be present in simple friendship, but if it is too hypertrophied, and if he begins to put the priorities of a particular lady above all others, it is quite possible that he is already in love.

Sexual motives

A man who is not just a friend, but longs for more, often shows his interest in sex with a given woman. He can “test” the waters by telling jokes and stories on an erotic theme, he can try to discuss intimate problems, but not just like that, but trying to find out exactly how a woman solves similar ones with her men, and whether she has these problems. He looks into her eyes 90% of the time they communicate and can't look away. Finally, he may stop mid-sentence, hypnotized by her movements - the way she straightens her curls or shakes her leg.

It happens that a man expresses sexual intentions quite directly, but here the question arises not about how to determine whether friendship between a man and a woman is love. And about whether you need and want to continue this relationship. The fact is that even between friends of different sexes, sparks can fly from time to time. Sometimes so-called “friendly sex” can even happen. However, this does not mean that the relationship will end there. Friends with many years of experience say that often, for the sake of friendship, they forgive this and do not get hung up on such moments, realizing that from time to time there can be such “slips” between friends.

He always has time for her

Friends can help each other, without this there is no way. But unlike lovers, they know when to stop in this matter. They will not rush to resolve each other's issues in the middle of the night, with rare exceptions - if something terrible really happened. A man in love is blind in this matter. He can rush to solve the completely stupid and far-fetched questions of his female “friend,” even risking his own well-being, sleep or health.

There are other aspects to this quality. Without touching on problems, in a normal situation a man in love behaves as if he forgets about time. He may miss the last train, does not look at his watch, ignores calls and reminders from relatives when he is at a meeting with her.

He is happy to introduce her to all his friends

Men are extremely closed in matters of personal relationships. They may be embarrassed to introduce their legitimate wife to their business partners or training buddies. And they usually don’t want to show anyone for a long time the woman they fall in love with. And only after his feelings turn out to be quite strong and stable, the man begins to take her to friends and acquaintances, introduce her to sisters, brothers and parents.

He forgets about other women

Friendship between a man and a woman often begins with them crying to each other about a failed relationship. They are pleased to know the opposite sex’s view of their problem and to listen to sober and balanced advice.

If you categorically do not want your friendship with a man to move to another level of relationship, you should sound the alarm after he begins to refuse to meet with all other women except the one with whom he is friends. This means that his emerging love does not allow him to build normal relationships with anyone other than his beloved. At this moment, a man can destroy a long-term relationship with another woman, if he has one.

The list of criteria for distinguishing “just friendship” from other relationships could be continued. However, the conclusion we want to draw is that an observant woman with good intuition will not miss the moment when friendship with a man begins to flow into something more. To do this, you need to be open to observations and be attentive to the man. Then everything will become obvious and everything will fall into place.

Often you cannot understand whether you love a person or whether you are just good friends. How to distinguish friendship from love? What are the similarities and differences? Let's try to figure this out.

Love and friendship: what do they have in common?

In fact, you wouldn't be asking this question unless you sensed something unusual or strange about your relationship with your friend. The truth is that there is no such thing as a long-term friendship between a guy and a girl. Sooner or later, one of you (or even both) will think about how he really feels.

Love and friendship are similar to each other, and, in fact, are also components of each other. True friends love each other, although they do not show romantic feelings. Their love is based on affection and mutual respect. And lovers can be each other's friends. It's even an ideal option when that's the case. We can say that friendship includes two aspects: emotional and spiritual intimacy (emotions and beliefs), while love includes aspects of friendship and physical attraction.

Not all friends decide to cross the threshold of friendship and become a couple. This decision may depend on one or both of them. But more often than not, a mutual decision does lead to love.

Now let's try to understand the differences...

What is the difference?

Whether you're checking your feelings or your friend's, there are some obvious signs that can tell if either of you is seeing the friendship as more than just friendship.

Reaction to a friend's liking for someone(your gender):

If you are friends, you will be pleased with the feelings of your friend and will be glad to meet the object of his affection. You will help him in every possible way in the development of these feelings, because you wish him happiness.
If you're in love into your friend, your inner feeling of jealousy will betray you. In your mind, you were already imagining yourself next to him, why did he suddenly meet someone better, but didn’t pay attention to you? Jealousy will manifest itself in the fact that you will not like your friend's choice.

Behavior in the presence of a friend:

If you are friends, you feel completely free in the presence of a friend, no matter what state or form you are in (lounge clothes, not the freshest look, fever, terrible runny nose, whatever).
When you're in love, you are trying to look your best in front of your friend. You think about your appearance and worry about whether he will like it. You begin to feel embarrassed in his presence, and his compliments now make you feel strange.

Personal space and freedom:

If you are friends, you feel free to not always spend time alone with a friend. And when he's not with you, you don't worry about how he spends his time. You are individual individuals, everyone chooses how to live, although there are some things that unite you and for which you value each other. A few days without communicating with a friend will not knock you out of your feelings and keep you awake at night.
If you fell in love into your friend, your thoughts are constantly occupied with him. You are interested in how he spends his time, and you want to be a part of this time as often as possible.

Emotions:

When you're friends, your friendship is united by a feeling of lightness, fun, and spiritual closeness. You just feel good being around you and there is no outburst of emotions and no drama. Only positive emotions and a sea of laughter or, conversely, calm, serious conversations about life.
When did you fall in love, new emotions are added to this palette, perhaps even quarrels. In fact, this is not a sign of mature love, but precisely of falling in love, which has not yet found its expression, but is trying to hide behind friendship. When you have to hide your crush, you can become overly sensitive and sometimes become demanding or even irritable. And all you would like is for these feelings of yours to be mutual.

Your friend's habits and behavior:

If you are friends, you do not judge your friend for any habits and do not try to change him. Not because you don't care, but because that's the kind of friend you've become friends with. You accept him for who he is, his choice does not affect your life in any way. Although, of course, in important matters you will advise your friend the best, but you will not impose your opinion.
If you're in love, you are very worried about your friend and are trying to protect him from everything. Perhaps you are trying to correct some of his habits or qualities, because you know that they harm him. Lovers (immature love) often also try to change things in their other half that they may not like.

What to do?

If you are convinced that the feelings of each of you are exclusively friendly, you should not start a conversation about it, everything is already in its place!

If you notice that you are in love, think carefully about your feelings and whether you should open them. You can never be normal friends after one of you has fallen in love. In general, even now this is no longer friendship in its pure form... Think about whether you are emotionally mature enough to start a real relationship? If so, try talking to a friend about it. But first, we advise you to test your feelings well over time, and also monitor your friend’s behavior - is there reciprocity in him?

Be careful not to put all your hopes in love, so that you don't get a response when you don't get a response. Life moves on anyway.

Watch yourself and listen to your feelings and heart.
Most relationships start with good friendship between two people.
True friends, like true love, are hard to find, treasure them.
To become a faithful companion in life, you first need to learn to be a good and faithful friend.
It is quite possible that true friendship will eventually develop into true love.

If you have any questions about how to distinguish friendship from love, write in the comments. We will also be glad to hear your stories, situations, advice, comments...