An adopted child has appeared in your family. What's next? Adopted children in the family. What parents need to know

The first days in a new environment and with new people, depending on the age and temperament of the child, can be very stressful. Therefore, psychologists recommend that parents treat both the child and themselves with particular care and attention, and not force events. It is advisable to hold off for some time on noisy celebrations with the participation of relatives and family friends who would like to look at the child and greet him.

First troubles

Register with the guardianship authorities at your place of residence, register your child, submit documents to school - there is so much to do! Of course, no one likes paperwork, but it is still a pleasant chore that is familiar to all parents.

In addition to federal benefits and payments, of which there are few, you are entitled to regional ones, and their list must be checked with the social security department at your place of residence or you can check the relevant regional documents yourself.

Benefits and payments, depending on the region, can be very different. From vacation vouchers and free lunches at school to benefits for utility bills and payments for office supplies for schoolchildren.

You can read more about payments and other issues after adoption and after establishing guardianship on the website of lawyer Olga Mitireva.

Mom needs to work

Often, adoptive parents are faced with the question: is it possible to send their child to kindergarten or hire a nanny? Firstly, we must not forget about the right of adoptive parents and guardians to take leave to care for a child up to three years of age (this right does not apply to guardians who have entered into an agreement on a foster family and receive additional compensation for their work as an adoptive parent). As for kindergarten, family arrangement experts and psychologists are unanimous - if possible, this option should be avoided and the child should be left at home, especially for the period of adaptation to a new family (1-2 years).

If both mom and dad really need to go to work, you can use the services of a nanny. You can read more about why you should give up kindergarten in the article by one of the most experienced family structure specialists in our country, Alexey Rudov.

Is it worth enrolling your child in developmental classes and recreational clubs to compensate for the time when this was not available to him? Of course it's worth it. It is only advisable to do this not immediately after accepting the child into the family, but a little later, when he gets used to the new environment and gets used to you. When the world around him becomes familiar and therefore safe for the child, he will be able to finally switch to development and learn new skills.

The child is not a “blank slate”

Even if you have adopted a baby who is only a few months old, when he grows up, you should not hide from him the fact that you are adoptive parents and not biological. And the sooner he gets used to the idea that he has not one set of mom and dad, but two, the easier he will accept this information.

It is best to first mention this when the child is just starting to talk. Of course, there is no need to provide tragic details; at this age they are not at all necessary. There are thematic fairy tales, for example, “Tales about Martha” by children's writer Dina Sabitova. There are two fairy tales in this book - the first, “Treasure,” is for children 3-6 years old, and the second, “Museum,” is designed for ages 6-9, when children need more answers.

Children often suspect that they are adopted and are relieved when their parents finally reveal the “secret.” Psychologist Maria Pichugina (Kapilina) talks very clearly about why you shouldn’t keep the skeleton of the secret of adoption in your closet: .

With an older child you can make a “Book of Life”. Thanks to the “Book of Life”, the child’s story before he came to your family will become clearer to him and will no longer frighten him and prevent him from achieving success in his new life. Psychologist at the Pro-Mama center Tatyana Panyusheva talks about how to make the “Book of Life”.

Should you be afraid of your blood parents?

Another painful topic is the child’s communication with blood relatives. If a child has never known his biological relatives, then during adolescence (the period of self-identification) he will definitely want to learn more about them and meet them. According to psychologists, this is not something to be afraid of. Most often, after such meetings, children understand that they have much more in common with their adoptive parents than with their natural ones. Psychologist Irina Garbuzenko notes: “In my practice, I have never encountered such a case where adopted children returned to their blood relatives. This only happens in movies and TV series.”

According to the law, meetings with blood relatives are possible if they are in the interests of the child (clause 5 of Article 148.1 of the Family Code: “A guardian or trustee does not have the right to prevent a child from communicating with his parents and other relatives, except in cases where such communication is not in the interests of child").

Why communication or at least a calm attitude towards blood relatives is important for a child is described in the book by psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya “Child of Two Families”.

Age-related crises and difficult behavior of children

It is no secret that standard age-related crises in adopted children can be more painful than in children who were raised in their own family from birth. Here we can advise you to collect as much information as possible about these crises and be ready to contact psychotherapists if everything is too difficult for the child and/or for you. Of course, if your child has experienced physical or sexual abuse, you will not be able to heal his wounds on your own. This should definitely be done by a third-party specialist who specializes in this type of injury.

Fortunately, there is now a lot of literature and public organizations helping adoptive families. Of course, in large cities there are more such opportunities, but the good news is that the number of sources for receiving such assistance is increasing every day. You should find out about opportunities in your region from social services. protection, from familiar adoptive parents or search on the Internet.
For example, adoptive parents can receive free online consultations from specialists on family placement via Skype in our foundation: .

Useful materials:

— About what problems foster children have at school and why they so often say that they don’t like to study - webinar by Natalya Stepina.

— The pressing question of why children take what belongs to others, why in most cases this cannot be called theft, and how parents should behave in such a situation, is discussed in the webinar.

— How to survive the transitional age of a child? A webinar by psychologist Katerina Demina talks about this.

— Sometimes a crisis comes from outside. For example, a teenager may resume contact with his birth parents (who have temporarily stopped drinking alcohol) and begins to be torn between his real, loving family and his biological parents. This is very difficult for both the child and the whole family. You can find more articles and blogs from parents about the adaptation period on our website using the tag.

— Dozens of parents share their experiences about adopting children on our website. Blogs and family stories are posted daily. You can follow new articles in the section.

— In the “” section we have prepared for you short information materials about children with special needs:

— In the section you can watch films about adoptive families.

Take care of yourself, your children need you

“Put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on the baby.” It is better to observe this safety rule, because parents’ resources are not endless, they must be replenished. Only by their example can happy parents show their children what it means to be happy.

To replenish resources, you need to use all opportunities: communicate with like-minded adoptive parents online and in person; rest more often (thanks to grandparents, nannies and just trips to a sanatorium), do not allow yourself to forget about your hobbies and hobbies, about things and activities that make you happy and give you strength. Our webinar talks about this in more detail.

And in the end I want to make a declaration of love to the adoptive parents: We love you!

Every day you do sometimes incredibly difficult, but invaluable work for children and our entire society - you have become a parent to a child whose chances for a normal life after the orphanage were practically zero. You have something to be proud of, and someday our society will come to this understanding; every year there are changes for the better.
You make our children and our entire society better and happier. Thank you for being here!

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The period of adaptation of a family's life when adopting a child is quite difficult. On the one hand, it may seem that the main thing is to simply love the child, and then all problems and difficulties will be solved by themselves. But it is not so. The fact is that in the case of an adopted child there are some differences that make the adaptation and life of the family special. And here it is important not only to love the child, but also to have the necessary information and knowledge.

We must remember that a difficult event happened in the life of every adopted child - he lost his family and parents. Very young children (up to a year or two) may not consciously remember this, but, nevertheless, all this leaves a mark on their life: they may develop an attachment disorder, often a developmental delay. Older children, as a rule, experience severe stress, fear, and the pain of losing one of the foundations of their lives. All this cannot but affect not only their development, but also their psychological state, perception of the world and themselves in it.

That is why it is important for adoptive parents to have not only love for the child and a general positive attitude, but also certain knowledge, as well as a willingness to accept the help of specialists.

Problems forming attachments

Prospective adoptive parents or guardians should be aware of attachment disorders that occur in adopted children. These violations are the root of many problematic situations, so if a parent understands what is happening with his adopted child, then it is easier for him to maintain composure himself, as well as find an approach to the child and solve emerging problems.

Attachment is the desire to maintain and maintain a close relationship with another person. This is the need for intimacy, communication, trust. It has been scientifically proven that emotional warmth affects the development of children. The care and participation of an adult allows a child to learn from adults, to trust both people and the world as such. If a small child has not had the experience of a long-term close relationship with one person, or these relationships have been interrupted several times and not restored, then his ability to maintain attachment is reduced or lost, and therefore, for example, the following situations may arise:

the child provokes, deliberately irritates the parents, tests their strength;
a child may not allow a trusting relationship with any adult at all. He is closed and emotionally cold. He is not aggressive, but avoids close relationships;
the child is either rude and provocative, or behaves in exactly the opposite way - looking for affection and attention;
the child deliberately violates boundaries, does not feel sympathy, prefers to be feared. Violent and destructive behavior may occur in these cases;
the child is looking for mom and dad in all the people around him and is ready to be affectionate with everyone. Quality is replaced by quantity here.

Typically, the behavior of a child with an attachment disorder can be classified into one of the types described above. Parents need to know that almost all of them can be corrected, but it takes time, patience, and sometimes the help of specialists. Situations with cruel, destructive behavior of a child require separate control, because it is especially difficult to achieve socialization of such a child.

Should I tell my child about his birth family?

Whether to tell a child about his biological parents and how to do this is a question that concerns almost all adoptive parents. On the one hand, it may seem that talking about birth parents will bring up sad or unpleasant memories, and adoptive parents avoid this. But if you don’t talk about something, this does not mean that the child will not think about it, and the situation as such will not change.

The first question is whether it is worth telling the child that he is adopted. This question usually arises in the case of the adoption of very young children who cannot yet consciously remember their parents.

If we answer this question briefly, then experts working with adoption say unequivocally - yes, the child needs to be informed. And this is confirmed by dozens of years of practice and thousands of families in which difficulties arose precisely because of attempts to keep a secret.

Some adoptive parents try to create a secret, and the secret shrouds many relatives and family friends. Grown-up children often already realize that they are not being told something. Cases when a secret does become apparent arise often, but the consequences for a child (at any age, even an adult) are very serious. His sense of trust in the world and belonging to his family suffers. Family conflicts arise, sometimes very serious ones. There may even be a break with the adoptive parents on an emotional wave. Therefore, telling the child about his blood parents in a timely and correct manner is the way to ensure that the child accepts this situation in the least painful way.

The sooner this is done, the better. A small child will take this for granted and then just gradually grow up with it. Perhaps he will remember this very rarely. But in any case, this information will no longer come as a shock to him and in itself will not be an obstacle to the formation of close relationships with the adoptive family.

If adoptive parents feel some kind of inconvenience, fear, or shame to talk about it, then it is better to first deal with their feelings and their cause. As a rule, all guardianship authorities have schools for foster parents, where psychologists specialize in these topics. You can also consult with other psychological services. The main thing is that the adoptive mom or dad can regain confidence and calm.

Three stages of adaptation

There are three conventional stages that a family goes through when adopting a foster child.

The first is idealization

For both the child and the adoptive parents, the future life is painted in a rosy light. Everyone is trying to please each other. This is an important stage, and high expectations somewhat smooth out the change in environment for the child and help establish contact.

In no more than a month or two, inevitable conflicts appear, because the child has to adapt to new rules, and parents have to change their lives. And the next stage begins...

Adaptation in the family

Now the child can demonstrate fear of attachment to new people, test the strength of new rules, and intensely yearn for his birth family or child care institution. Children may disobey and show aggression.

Here, adoptive parents will need maximum patience, perseverance, flexibility, the ability to build a dialogue, and seek compromises. This stage lasts about 6 months and should result in a sense of community and trust within the family.

After this conflict and difficult period, as a rule, a more stable state occurs, when the child has integrated into the new routine, and the family has accepted the child. At this stage, you can talk with the child about his past, create new family traditions and rules.

Comfort and support

Almost all children leaving orphanages experience a feeling of sadness. They may worry about the loss of their blood family, and about parting with friends from the orphanage that has become familiar, and simply about the difficulty of adapting to a new place. Parents need to be given the opportunity to cry, express their feelings, and at the same time be there, try to calm the child and show their support, care and attention.

Daily routine and new rules

It is difficult for a child to adapt, so you need to talk about the new rules and daily routine as clearly, in detail, and calmly as possible. About what will happen on each day of the week. This certainty will help the child feel more confident and calm.

Adults need to help and support the child. Help pack things for school and plan a schedule.

Taking care of physical health, clothing and personal belongings

It is advisable to take into account the child’s food preferences and find out what he likes. Help him fall asleep in the evening, stay with him. Maybe he is not used to sleeping in the room alone - then you can temporarily turn on the night light, open the door, or sleep in the room with him. Such simple care can greatly facilitate a child’s adaptation.

Expecting reciprocal love from an adopted child

Parents can take the initiative in their affection, care, expression of love and warmth, but do not expect a response from the child. It's quite normal that it won't appear right away. The manifestation of your feelings should also be monitored - for example, if a child is uncomfortable with hugs, you can simply take his hand first.

Memories of a child

The child may yearn for his past. If he doesn't remember it, he can make up fictitious facts. It is important for a child to have an idea of his past, and some children from the orphanage have absolutely no information except the name of the parent and place of residence. There seems to be a gap, an empty space. And this has a bad effect on the formation of the child’s psyche.

It is for this purpose that the adoptive family can create collages, pictures and even fictitious photo albums, where everything that in one way or another related to the child’s life will be collected. Photos of his city, pictures of what his parents might have looked like. And in this story of his life there will be the moment of his appearance in a new family and photographs of him growing up. Thus, you can tell the child that there are blood parents to whom he was born, and there is a family in which he will grow up as his own child.

Of course, the topic of adoption and adaptation of a child into a family is very broad, and we have considered only a few issues. The main thing is that future adoptive parents should prepare for adoption in advance, read literature, and attend special classes. This will help you go through the adaptation period as easily and quickly as possible and create an atmosphere of warmth and trust in the family.

Today, hundreds of programs focused on have been launched in Russia. Despite this, the number of children deprived of parental care is not falling. The way out of such a tragic situation could be foster family.

Concept of foster family

A foster family is an option for family placement of an orphan child or a child whose natural parents were. To form it, the territorial guardianship department creates an act and an agreement.

The status of a foster family is regulated by articles of the Family Code of the Russian Federation 152-155 (), and is accompanied by.

Formation of a foster family

Article 152 of the RF IC strictly defines the regulations according to which the care program is implemented. A foster family is formed on the basis agreements. This agreement is signed by the guardian parents and representatives of the child (guardianship authorities).

The contract specifies:

Responsibilities of parents. Namely, to raise a child, to organize high-quality living conditions for him. Enjoy leisure time, respect, help the child adapt to life outside the orphanage.
Responsibilities of guardianship authorities. The government agency is called upon to monitor the upbringing and maintenance of a child transferred under the foster care program. In this regard, the adoptive family has the right to payments in 2017: one-time benefit – 16,350.33 rubles(for each child), monthly payments (40% from the average salary of a parent for the last year), monthly payments to parents for each child under 10 years of age - 7,857.64 rubles who have reached the age of 10 8,756 rubles. Guardianship authorities also undertake to provide other social support to the family (the list of benefits is established individually depending on the capabilities of the region).
Complete information about the child and his natural parents.
Contract time.

Termination of a trusteeship agreement is a rare legal practice. But these situations happen. Such cases are regulated by law in Article 153 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

So, agreement the foster family is terminated if:

Expired.
Adoptive parents no longer want or cannot take care of the child - problems with health, financial support.
The guardianship authorities reconsidered their decision and denied the parents custody. This happens if unfavorable living conditions for the child are noticed in the family.
One of the parties to the agreement violated its terms.

Important: if a foster family is ready to take care of a frequently ill child, with developmental disabilities, or a disabled child, then the future place of residence must meet the vital needs of the foster child.

Custody always follows solely the interests of the child. Therefore, if the child has already reached the age of 10, no agreement will be signed without his consent. The interests of younger children are represented by guardianship authorities.

The procedure for forming a foster family

We will describe step by step how to take a child from an orphanage or orphanage and create a foster family:

Submission of the mandatory list of documents to the territorial guardianship authority.
Within 3 days, department employees will check the submitted documents, enter information into the database, and inspect the living conditions of the applicants.
Waiting for a decision on appointing or not appointing an applicant as an adoptive parent takes about 10 days from the date of submission of documents.
If the issue is resolved positively, the parents receive a referral to orphanages to get to know the child and his personal history. If necessary, the child may undergo additional medical diagnostics.
If the outcome is positive, the parents write a statement of their intentions to take the child into the family.
Preparation of an act on the transfer of a child to a new family.
Signing the contract.
Calculation of social benefits.

To begin the procedure for registering a foster family, you must contact the Office of Guardianship and Trusteeship at your place of residence.

List of documents

certificate from the place of work of future parents. It should indicate the position, average salary, and give a description;
certificate of family composition;
documents for an apartment or house (in the possession of the parents);
a police certificate confirming no criminal record;
health certificate;
autobiography;
written consent of all members of the applicant's family.

Conclusion

Let's define the main points of the article:

Adoptive parents– persons who are ready to help an orphan or a child whose parents have been deprived of parental rights in raising them.
When accepting a child into the family, parents must understand that he will retain connections with his relatives and his last name.
The process of registering an adoptive family is complex, but the requirements for parents are more flexible in contrast to the adoption procedure.
Children who are in foster care and parents who take on their upbringing are entitled to financial assistance from the state in the form of benefits.
Before starting the registration procedure, the family must evaluate its capabilities and not be guided only by material gain. Adoptive parents should become his helpers in life, role models.

The most popular question and answer regarding foster families

Question: My husband and I are foster parents for an abandoned child from the maternity hospital. What benefits are provided to adoptive families by law? Alina.

Answer: Alina, since the child was placed with a family from the maternity hospital and is abandoned, the number of benefits is significantly wider than with regular adoption. Firstly, all food (up to two years) and medicine (up to three years) are paid for by the state. With a court order, you have the right to receive a lump sum payment, as well as monthly child support.

At the same time, the child retains all rights: he receives housing (the right to housing for biological parents or a new one from the state), and studies for free in the same way as orphans. For a mother who does not work but is raising a child, these years are included in her pension period.

Children themselves receive a large number of one-time benefits at various stages of life: when getting a job, when changing educational institutions. All types of content are also saved.

Today, adoptive parents receive 40% from your weighted average earnings for the year, but not less 3 minimum wage, set for the region.

Life periodically offers each of us challenges. Parents of children of any age are no exception. Having decided to adopt or take custody of a child, you must be prepared for his long-term adaptation to the family. Having become accustomed to life according to the laws of an orphanage or shelter, a child does not quickly get used to the new rules. The older you are, the more difficult this process becomes.

On the one hand, young parents choose the seemingly easy path - they free themselves from sleepless nights, mountains of diapers and hysterics at supermarket checkouts. But don't forget that small children are small problems, and big children are big problems. An adult child has already formed life beliefs, a worldview, and a value system. Often all of the above factors are formed in difficult psychological and material conditions, which are accompanied by cruelty and force the child to respond to the world with his bad behavior. But don't worry. Growing up in a foster family is not always accompanied by great difficulties, and if they do happen, professional psychologists will always come to the rescue. The main thing is to listen carefully and promptly to their advice.

No need to worry in vain

First, let's figure out what the really serious problems are. Sometimes so-called “bad behavior” is a sign that parenting an adopted child is producing positive results. The thing is that the first adaptation period for a new family member is a certain constraint and tightness. Children behave quietly and unnaturally in order to earn the love of their parents. This period is also called the “honeymoon”. But behavior that is atypical for a child ends sooner or later: the child begins to be himself. And it’s good that the baby no longer plays, but opens himself. Now the main thing is to direct his energy in the right direction. In stressful situations, the child begins to behave as he is used to - this means that he trusts you enough to reveal his unsightly sides, subconsciously understanding - now he is yours, you will not give up on him. At this stage, you should not worry and drink valerian - raising an adopted child is going its own way.

New social roles for you and your child

Throughout the first year of the adaptation period, you and your new family member will get used to the new role of parent and child. What other families take years to build, you will have to build in an accelerated program. Of course, both you and your child are not immune from failure.

First mistake which parents perform is a requirement of gratitude. So, the mother of a 10-year-old adopted boy came to a psychologist for help. She said that she constantly takes it out on the child and the reason for this is his ingratitude. From childhood, a woman was taught to thank her parents for dinner, gifts and help. The boy’s silence, instead of words of gratitude, was regarded by the adoptive mother as his dislike and inability to appreciate her care. It is rare that a child does not feel inner gratitude to his adoptive parents. The thing is that no one taught children how to properly express their gratitude. Time and your proper upbringing of your adopted child will teach him this wonderful skill.
“What is my place in the new family?” Often the child begins to behave badly because he cannot understand what his role is in the new family. Why do his adoptive parents need him, what will happen to him next? If you have children of your own, anxiety may also arise from feelings of inadequacy, after constantly comparing yourself to others. Upbringing in a foster family should be carried out in such a way that the child does not experience these anxieties. And if problems did arise, the parents would be able to get to the bottom of them and quickly solve them, eliminating the cause of the anxiety. Adoptive families are usually assisted by social workers and psychologists. Tell them everything that worries you and listen to their advice.
Past experience. Often a child experiences the burden of the past in a new family. This is vital for him and parents should be prepared for such “surprises.” So the parents of a seven-year-old girl mentally diagnosed her as mentally ill when they found dolls in her possession, with which she tore off the hands. Before this, they considered her an angel and told their friends how lucky they were. No other oddities were noticed in the child. Having found the mutilated dolls, the parents' attitude towards the girl changed dramatically. But don’t be alarmed if you are faced with a similar problem. An experienced psychologist will explain to you that with the help of such actions or, for example, drawings, the child expresses the heaviness accumulated in himself. Perhaps he had to experience these depicted events in the past. Such behavior is the key to subsequent work with the child and freeing him from the burden of the past for a happy future.
Why wasn't I adopted? Another problem for parents may be mistrust on the part of the child in the case of guardianship. After all, full adoption makes the baby a full-fledged member of the family. And guardianship deprives many rights and opportunities. Your child is quite smart. You just need to correctly explain to him why you decided to take guardianship or guardianship, while making it clear that you still consider him a dear and full member of the family.

Raising children in a foster family requires special responsibility and knowledge of parents. A family that successfully resolves its conflicts will become stronger. Be prepared for the emergence of a new life in your family, and then you will be able to raise a full-fledged and happy person, who, rest assured, will not remain ungrateful to you for this.

Adoption and surrogacy

According to the legislation of the Russian Federation, any commercial intermediary activity in the field of adoption on the territory of Russia is prohibited. The Sweetchild group of companies supports the policy of the Russian state in this matter and does not provide services in the field of adoption. However, we believe that even if a couple has no genetic material of their own, surrogacy in a number of cases is a worthy alternative to adoption or guardianship. If at least one of the married couple has genetic material that allows them to hope for the birth of a genetically close child, then in this situation surrogacy, in our deep conviction, is definitely the best solution for creating a full-fledged family.

Not all married couples can have children, so the only way to experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood is to adopt a baby. Raising a child in a foster family is a complex process associated with psychological difficulties for both parents and the adopted child.

Psychologists identify three stages of child adaptation:

Acquaintance;
Return to the past;
Addiction.

Here are eight tips for new parents on how to make their baby’s adaptation to a new family as quick and smooth as possible.

First days in a new house

When all the bureaucratic formalities are settled and a happy family rejoices at the addition, then parents need to be extremely attentive and courteous with the new family member. In the first days and weeks, the baby may exhibit oddities; they should not be considered as some kind of deviation. This is a normal adaptation to new conditions, You shouldn’t perceive these oddities as a deviation from the norm, much less scold the child. for them.

A break from the child’s usual environment and a sudden change in routine often lead to anxiety, decreased appetite, sleep disturbances, and inappropriate reactions to the words and actions of the adoptive parents.

Peculiarities of upbringing in boarding schools and the imprint on the child’s psyche

In boarding schools, orphanages and other institutions of this type, children are usually treated impersonally, while their individuality and desire to express themselves are suppressed in every possible way. This is necessary to develop discipline, strict accustoming to the rules and norms existing in the institution.

Another problem in orphanages is the almost complete absence of men. They do not take part in upbringing, and excessive female tenderness can have a bad effect on the formation of character. This is especially true for boys who need a firm male hand when raising them..

How to help a child adapt to a new environment?

Find out what your baby's daily routine was like before moving into your family. Try not to change this daily routine too much; give your child liberties for a while. For example, if he went to bed later than everyone else, at 11 pm, then at home give him this opportunity.
Ask about food preferences and what the child liked to eat most. Don’t insist if your baby doesn’t want to eat foods that you think are familiar to you. For example, white bread. Who knows, maybe during the years of his stay in the boarding school, the baby ate enough bread for several years to come, since there were no other products. Treat adopted children with concessions, at least temporarily. You shouldn’t immediately show your parental ambition.
Do not overload your child emotionally; in the first couple of weeks of moving, noisy banquets and feasts celebrating the addition of the family will be unnecessary. Let the baby get used to the new environment; it’s better to introduce him to his friends and relatives later. It is better to organize a dating evening gradually, You shouldn’t invite a large number of guests straightaway.
It would be unnecessary to buy your child a lot of toys at once and expect him to be wildly delighted. It is better to ask the institution where he was staying for one or two of the baby’s favorite toys. They will create a feeling of familiarity and pleasantness; together with the toy, it will be much easier to adapt to a new home.
Eliminate all sources of harsh sound from your home and remove sources of strong odors. Strong-smelling perfumes, loud music, and too fragrant plants will be unnecessary.
If your child really liked something in your home - for example, playing on the computer or home-baked goods, then you should not saturate your child with this particular product or entertainment. There should always be a place for moderation in everything, You shouldn’t compensate your child for all the hardships for a couple of weeks., which he endured all his life in the boarding school.
Conduct cognitive loads moderately. During the first month of a child’s stay in a new family, you should not try to show him everything at once. Receiving a large number of pleasures at once can be detrimental to a child’s psyche. The same goes for new information. If your child has obvious gaps in knowledge, then you should not burden him with studying encyclopedias and demand knowledge of everything at once.
You should not hope for instant emotional attachment, that the child will immediately become the same as if he grew up with you all his life. There may be tears, bouts of crying with hysterics, indifference, detachment. All this is a normal process of getting used to a new family, getting used to a new home.

The most important thing for the process of adaptation to a new home is to be with the child as much as possible. Look into his eyes, communicate more, try to tune him into a confidential wave of conversation. Talk about topics that are interesting to him, do not scold him for rude words or foul language. Just then try to convince your child that they need to slowly wean themselves off their old life and get used to normal communication.

Three stages of a child’s adaptation to a new family

The transfer of a child to a foster family is carried out instantly, but the process of adaptation itself can last for years. Here, a lot depends on the age of the baby, his character, and the ability of the adoptive parents to create morally comfortable living conditions.