Tips on how to raise a boy to be a real man. How to raise a boy to be a real man: recommendations, psychology of education and effective advice

|“Sons who are too obedient never achieve much.”
Abraham Brill

May the girls' parents forgive me, but today we will talk about raising boys. And I'll start with an allegory.

Oak under the apple tree

One spring, while weeding the beds at my parents’ dacha, that is, doing an absolutely useless task, from my point of view, I discovered under an old apple tree a beautiful thin twig with a sticky, newly hatched oak leaf. Apparently, in the fall, an acorn somehow found its way onto the dacha plot in an unknown way - and lo and behold, it sprouted!

We should dig you up and take you to the forest, to our people, I thought sadly. “The owners won’t allow any oak to grow on these four hundred square meters.”

But the proud tree was so stubbornly reaching for the sun, so proudly spreading its only carved leaf, that I simply couldn’t bring myself to dig it up with a shovel...

Let it grow, I decided. - We'll see there.

When a boy is born into a family...

What kind of child does a young mother dream of when she brings a sniffling (or screaming) bundle from the maternity hospital? That's right, about CALM!

She wants her son to eat well and sleep well, ideally all night without waking up. It would be nice if his tummy didn’t hurt, that he cut his teeth painlessly, and that he didn’t have any allergies to anything.

And who doesn't want to? And that's okay. Still alright! Because the interests of mother and child at this moment still coincide.

And what does a mother want to see for her two - seven - fifteen year old baby?, even if it’s time to put the word “baby” in quotation marks? Well, of course - healthy, smart and OBEDIENT! One that does not give parents worries and troubles. Doesn't fight, doesn't climb trees and fences, doesn't get dirty or tear clothes.

Ideally, he is sweet, kind, well-mannered, does not use foul language, and helps his mother wash the dishes. A boy who is praised by teachers in kindergarten and teachers at school. Is not it? Most often, unfortunately, this is exactly the case.

Are you sure that this is so great - a little man who unquestioningly obeys you (and his teachers)? What about a teenager? I personally highly doubt it. Moreover, I am sure of the opposite!

An obedient son is nonsense and a cause for concern

By the way, obedience does not always mean the boy’s agreement with the methods of education of school teachers and your arguments; more often it means mental weakness, indifference or... cunning. Maybe your son simply doesn’t want to get involved with you - it’s more expensive for himself.

In addition, children very early (sooner than we think!) begin to understand what their parents expect from them and behave accordingly. That is, they begin to lie and pretend. Portraying the APPEARANCE of agreement and obedience. And we buy it.

Looking ahead, I will say that this was the path followed by our youngest son, whom my husband and I controlled for a very long time - until he was seventeen years old. Or rather, it seemed to us that the situation was under control. Although - as I realized very belatedly - this was only the outer side of the coin.

But we so wanted to believe in it... And we believed. Very in vain, as I now understand. Alas... the train has left. The boy has grown up. But he didn’t become a man. Because a man grows only from a child who has the courage to go against the will of his parents, against their fears, against their “wisdom.”

Women's education of masculine virtues

Think for yourself, HOW can women, beings from another planet, with different life attitudes and priorities, raise a REAL man? It's practically impossible.

Alas, our preschool and school pedagogy is almost completely feminized, so they educate as best they can, as it turns out, suppressing healthy male instincts in boys and adjusting them to their own, female ones.

Such upbringing then boomerangs on us, and when we get married, we groan - “Oh, there are no real men in this world...”

It’s not that they themselves were transferred, my dears, it was we who TRANSMITTED them! We ourselves raised an obedient, kind, gentle and pliable son to our upbringing. Well, as a result, we got a mama’s boy, a henpecked, irresponsible and lacking initiative “not a man.”

Remember - before, even royal male offspring from the age of five were taken from their nannies and given to be raised by uncles or in the cadet corps.

Siblings

This is surprising, but with a minimal age difference (ten and a half months), my sons are completely different from each other, neither in appearance nor in character. Directly according to Pushkin - “water and stone, ice and fire.” Many years ago, when I went for a walk with them, curious grandmothers exclaimed:

Oh, such a young mother! They're both yours, right? And what... are they from the same father?

Yeah. - I smiled. - And even from the same mother.

Eldest son

Anton, the eldest, was born with a “thorn in the butt.” And with cockroaches in my head. Although, looking at him, it was impossible to believe it.

Smart eyes, childish prudence, at times turning into senile grumbling. By the age of three, Anton himself learned to read. Yes, exactly myself - I just conscientiously answered his endless questions “how is the beech?” (what letter).

And from the age of five, our Antoshka began to travel around the city on his own, running away first from kindergarten and then from school, for which he received the nickname “terrible son.”

By the age of seven, he had five arrests with the police. From the age of eight, the eldest son - already with our “blessing” - traveled independently throughout Minsk, including the metro. At ten he mastered the train and the road to the dacha - almost an hour's drive!

From the age of sixteen Anton became interested in hitchhiking and traveled throughout the country and neighboring countries. At eighteen I got my license and have been driving since I was twenty-one.

Younger son

And the youngest heir - Dima - grew up calm and docile; it used to be that you put the baby in the sandbox, and in an hour you’ll get it out of there. At most he will sit in another corner.

A charming child with an excellent appetite, dimples on his cheeks and thick eyelashes. Not a word against him, no leaving the yard, no trips around the city and no bringing him to the police. Relaxation for a parent’s heart, exhausted by the chronic “transitional age” of the older offspring. Compensation, so to speak.

Yeah... “Bolivar couldn’t bear two”...

Summarizing

Now I can already sum up the first results of our spontaneous family education, based almost exclusively on intuition. Unfortunately.

So, we stopped strictly controlling our eldest son very early, since he was always in harsh “confrontation” with us and did everything his own way. We didn’t dare to “break” him, we had to let him go...

Result No. 1

Anton matured early, graduated from the physics department of BSU, and got married at the age of 23. Now he is a successful young man with a good job (in laser technology) and a wonderful family - a beautiful wife and two little daughters - sweethearts. He is proactive, efficient, and not afraid to take responsibility. Now he is receiving a second higher education and is building a house outside the city.

Result No. 2

But the youngest son... this is our headache. I confess, I fell in love. For too long I took it out on him for two children - well, at least one of them obeys, but HOW! Eh, good... No, bad.

Now Dima is 27 years old. No normal promising job (he dropped out of college in his third year), no family, no incentive to do anything, no drive for life.

Why family? This is such a hassle! My wife will start teasing: “Bring me the money, build an apartment, I want a fur coat, I want to go to the sea!” And so... just whistle. By phone or Skype. Love delivered to your home. And mom will always feed you. Tasty! And he will wash the jeans and T-shirts.

Well, he drinks for about ten minutes a day, that’s what they are parents for - to make noise... But you don’t have to think about anything. There is a roof over your head, there is internet, there is food and beer in the refrigerator, there is a car outside the window. Live and be happy. And he rejoices... And my husband and I bite our elbows. Late…

P.S

By autumn the oak tree died - the old apple tree must have blocked the sun from it. Or maybe she entangled his weak roots with her powerful rhizomes and strangled him in her arms...

Afterword. I strongly recommend that all mothers of sons read Alexander Nikonov’s book “The End of Feminism” and the article by psychologist Tatyana Shishova “How to raise not a boy, but a husband?”

Olga Makarova

Dear readers! How are the men in your family raised? In your opinion, can the fate of a child be determined by the attitude of the parents? We are waiting for your answers in the comments!

“I feel sorry for the women. They constantly complain that there are no men around.
I don't feel sorry for women. They raise their sons as girls.
The result is natural.”

First rule
The father must raise the boy. Moreover, from birth. His birth, and not from the birth of his son.
Because upbringing in a family is not moral teaching. The boy copies his father's behavior pattern, not his words.
QUESTION FOR MOMS - do you want your son to become just like your husband?

Second rule
A man must be strong. What does it mean? Be able to make decisions and take responsibility for these decisions.
QUESTION FOR PARENTS - is your son learning to make decisions on his own and be responsible for them?

Third rule
Making decisions and being responsible are two sides of the same coin. Freedom on one side. Restriction of freedom on the other.
EXAMPLE.
A man makes decisions, but his woman is responsible for them. This is not a man, but a mama's boy. Man.
A man does not make decisions, but is responsible for them. This is not a man. And henpecked. Little guy.

Fourth rule
Freedom begins with self-restraint.
There is an Eastern proverb: “Camels drink water first, because they have no hands.” Men drink second because they have no patience. Women drink last.”

PARENTING SCHEME (FOR DADS!!):

“The best goes to mom. Because she's a girl. Then to the cat - because he is helpless and depends on us. And then for you and me. Because we are men."

Fifth rule
At what age does a baby become a man?
From the moment of realizing oneself as an individual. Psychologists know this age. Three years. Yes, mommies. Three years.
It is from this age that it is necessary to constantly instill in your son - “You are a man!”
It is from this age that it is necessary to teach him the normal male word “Must!”

A man should. Be able to endure. Be able to overcome yourself. Be able to make mistakes. Know how to be gentle. Know how to be rude. Be able to be different. Be able to take responsibility for your words. A man must be able to BE.

Sixth rule

A child must be treated like an adult. This does not mean that you shouldn’t play with him, don’t forgive his mistakes, don’t coddle him, don’t smile at him.

Seventh rule

A child can make mistakes. He explores the world around him, explores its boundaries. Do you know why men look like children? Because men also push the boundaries of this world. A man should be restless. He is the driving force of humanity. And a woman is a preserving force, if anything.
You can't punish a kid for mistakes. They need to be corrected. To him. Myself. On one's own. But with your hint and help.s

In the modern world you can often hear that there are no real men, knights left. Many people believe that there are simply no men capable of heroism and self-sacrifice. Although this is not true and there are real, caring men, however, there really are not as many of them as we would like.

The modern education of boys in the last twenty to thirty years is to blame for this. Often boys are raised only by their grandmothers and mothers. Predominantly women work in kindergartens and schools. The boy simply has no role model. Father or grandfather, even if the boy grows up in a complete family, they are so busy with work or their own interests that they simply do not have enough time for their son or grandson. How to raise a boy if there is no man nearby? And mothers and grandmothers are so worried for their child, that they begin to limit the future adult, their protector, in everything. How often can you hear this concern on the street: “Don’t run, you’ll fall, hurt yourself, put down your bag - it’s heavy, and the like.”

As a result of such upbringing and hypertrophied care, a soft-bodied creature grows up, incapable of making its own decisions. But a man, first of all, must be able to solve problems and solve them correctly. How to raise a real man from a boy?

How to raise a boy to be a real man

Previously, in peasant families with many children In families, raising children was divided into three periods, each of which lasted seven years:

• Baby.
• Youth.
• Young man.

The first seven years of a child were considered an infant Despite this, children were already beginning to be taught to do housework. This was the first stage of education. Until the age of seven, a boy had to learn how to sit in the saddle and control a horse, herd cattle, and help his father in field and farm work.

From seven to fourteen years old, the boy, or as the youth was called then, already received his own housework, for which he was responsible to the family. At this age, boys were taught to plow the land, and were often sent to work for other people, for example, as shepherds or apprentices. Therefore, by the age of fourteen, the boy already knew how to do everything that adult men should be able to do: work in arable land, clean and look after livestock, go hunting and fishing, and was trained in some kind of craft.

In the last seven years, until the age of twenty-one, the young man honed his skills in his chosen field and became a groom, completely ready for adult, family life; he could already be called a real man.

In the modern world, in cities, of course, no one teaches children to plow or take care of livestock, but all people live in apartments or their own houses and everyone has their own household, to which children must be taught. How to properly raise a boy in the modern world?

Raising a child from birth to age three

Raising a boy is a very responsible process in which both mother and father must participate.

Mainly raising a child up to three years of age is the mother’s concern, but the father must take an active part in raising children. First of all, even very young boys should see their father’s care for the family . This includes heavy housework., such as repairing any things (furniture or household appliances), providing the family with provisions, and the young father must play with his son and teach him to help his mother, so that the little son develops the concept of how an adult, real man behaves. By the age of three, the son is quite capable of helping his father or mother with simple household chores: supporting something or giving him a light tool.

Raising a boy from three to seven years old

By the age of three, children begin to understand their gender. How to raise a boy during this period? At this time, the example of the father is very important. From this age, little sons try to be like their father or grandfather. Their habits and actions are copied, and from now on the father becomes an authority for his son. Often a son wants to help his father in his affairs; a boy should never be denied this. Although the participation of a three to five year old son in work is more of a hindrance than a help. But the guy who received the proud title of father must be patient and be able to find a task for his son so that the little assistant can complete it.

Between the ages of three and seven, you can see what interests and talents a child has. Perhaps the child knows how to choose a nice suit for himself or is interested in preparing food for the family . After all, such professions like a tailor or a cook are more masculine. History knows more male fashion designers than female ones.

Maybe a child makes something all the time from children's construction sets and when he grows up, he will become an engineer. If a child painted the wallpaper in the hallway, there is no need to scold him too much; apparently, he is an artist or an architect; you just need to buy him some drawing paper. Or maybe the baby is constantly drumming on pots and beating out a rhythm. Isn't this a musician? Even if the child is always eager to use the computer, this cannot be prohibited; he is probably a future programmer.

At this age, parents often face the problem of child disobedience. It is very important to understand and distinguish when a child makes random mistakes, and when he does not listen to teachers on purpose, out of stubbornness or out of spite. If the baby does something wrong due to ignorance, then you need to calmly explain and point out to him his mistakes. Under no circumstances should you humiliate or present the child as a stupid, unreasonable person. This behavior of the parents will lead to resentment and complexes, it may even alienate the child and the boy will no longer turn to his mother or father with his questions, but will go to look for answers elsewhere, for example, on the street.

If a child deliberately disobeys, then you need to find out the reasons for bad behavior:

Based on these reasons for the wrong behavior of the child, it is necessary to adjust the processes of education. Give the future man the opportunity to make his own decisions, communicate more with parents and other children. Don’t let your child do anything, as long as he doesn’t cry and monitor his health.

The word cannot be used as rarely as possible and denote a real threat to the child. If something is impossible, then it is never possible. It should not be that today it is possible, but tomorrow it is not possible, or the mother allows something, but the father prohibits the same action. Parents should never pay attention to a child’s hysterics; the baby must learn to understand that he will not achieve anything by screaming and yelling. Certainly, if a child yells on the street or in another public place, then we must try to switch his attention. In the store, you need to ask the capricious person to help collect goods in the basket; on the street, you can draw the fidget's attention to birds, cats, dogs or other objects so that the child forgets what he was rowing about.

It is very important that the little person understands the cause-and-effect relationships of his bad behavior . When a child starts throwing his toys around and at the same time, you don’t have to scream and immediately run and bring these toys to the baby, they need to be collected and put away. He should know that if he threw something away, it is no longer there. Deprivation of toys in this case will already be a punishment for the baby. When children refuse to eat, there is no need to persuade, you need to make it clear to the child that if he does not eat breakfast now, then he will not receive anything from food until lunch.

Under no circumstances should you engage in assault. There is a saying: “when words run out, fists come into play,” that is, if a parent begins to beat his child, it is not the child’s fault, but the parent should reconsider his parenting methods. Physical assault on boys will establish in him the concept that whoever is stronger is right. According to this rule, boy and will grow, achieving its goal exclusively by force.

Basic laws of education

You need to start proper education according to these laws as early as possible. In the old days they said that a child should be raised while he was lying across the bench. It is worth listening to the wisdom of our ancestors. It is impossible to develop in a family such a concept as child-centrism, when the whole family “dances” only around the interests of the child; one must always remember that it is not the flock that follows the cub, but the cub that follows the flock.

Difficult age from seven to fourteen years

The age when a boy gradually turns into a young man. At this age, boys are looking for male company and making friends. At this age, the mother becomes an example of a female image for her son. It is very important that the mother begins to treat her son as an adult man. This is very difficult for many mothers, they are used to the fact that this is their little, beloved son, whom they carried, gave birth to, raised, and cannot accept the fact that their son has grown up.

It is during this period that the mother should begin treats his son differently. She must understand that her son is growing and turning into a man who will later start his own family. This does not mean that the mother should love her son less, but she should understand him and give the boy more freedom to make independent decisions. Not so much to give instructions as advice and not to forget to consult with your son yourself, letting him know that he is already an adult. Ask the child for basic help, for example, to bring groceries from the store, because a woman should not carry heavy objects, to give up her seat in transport, and the like.

The example of a father is also very important in the process of developing a son’s masculine character. If the father takes care of the family, listens to the wishes of the children, is ready to help at any time, is gallant towards his wife (mother), then my son will grow up the same way. But if there are constant scandals and mutual reproaches in the family, then most likely the boy will go looking for advice and help from friends on the street.

From the age of fourteen until the age of eighteen, the skills acquired by the boy are consolidated. Often, a fourteen-year-old teenager does not yet look like a young man and sometimes suffers from this, especially if the family has an older brother who already looks like an adult uncle. At this age, under no circumstances should you treat a boy as small, much less consider him stupid. By the age of eighteen, the son had grown up, and how he grew up depends on the boy’s upbringing and environment in childhood.

How to raise boys correctly is a difficult process, psychology, which should be treated with responsibility. To raise boys, to raise them to be real men, you need to put in a lot of effort, be patient, and forget about love.

After the baby is born, all parents want and try to protect the child from possible dangers that await him in an unfamiliar, so unusual environment. Time passes, the baby grows up. He begins to walk on his own. And it is during such a period that parents must realize (especially the mother) that their baby is an individual, the baby develops an individual character, hobbies, desires and personal needs arise, the baby cannot always be with them.

Without a doubt, the boy will need his mother’s care, attention and support for quite a long time, but gradually he will begin to move away from his mother, spend more time with friends, and engage in his favorite hobbies. The peculiarities of raising boys are mainly to not put pressure on the child with strong guardianship (whether he is 4 years old, 5 or 7 years old); following this path, you risk raising a classic “mama’s boy”.

It is difficult for a child to decide who he loves more: mommy or daddy. This is an impossible choice for a baby! Both parents are the most important people in the whole world for him. While the boy is small, he is more often with his mother than with his father. Dad is at work, and the boy sees him mainly before bed and on weekends.

But as time passes, the baby grows up and strives more for dad. This cannot be prevented in any way. Psychologists give different advice on raising boys, and the main one is to allow father and son to spend most of their time together (especially if the child is 5-7 years old) so that they have their own male secrets and can do exclusively male work.

Believe me, such time with dad will be of great benefit in developing the boy’s personality. At this age, he gradually realizes who he is and what role he will have to play in the future - these are all the features of raising boys.

From this article you will learn

Born to be a man

A win-win option to show your joy about raising a true man is to name the baby with a real man's name. That is why it is better not to take dual names, which are also worn by women. But the accepted attributes for boys in the form of blue clothes and blue strollers are not very important in the formation of a masculine character. This is rather a signal from the parents that they have a growing man.

A strong and reliable protector - and one wouldn’t dare say that about a baby who hasn’t even learned to speak yet, but grabs his parents by the hair with his small, grasping fingers.

However, you can look at it with different eyes, clenched palms are a real fist, the requirement to constantly suck is the makings of a healthy appetite, and loud screams are the commands of a young commander.

Annual independence

One year old boys love to make a fuss. In any situation, they find a reason to show their character, achieve their goal and force others to obey. Raising a one-year-old baby is the main stage in the development of personality. During the course of a year, the baby develops, in addition to character, other qualities: perseverance, determination and self-confidence.

Treat such a phenomenon with calm and patience, do not even try to “remake” its character, be patient and show leniency. Don’t be afraid to once again show your love for him. During this period, boys need it no less than girls. Parental care, warmth and hugs will not bring him any harm.

How to raise a boy? A question parents ask all the time. It’s important not to overdo it. The baby needs so-called self-actualization, self-affirmation. Therefore, there is no need to treat his requests and opinions as something stupid and unnecessary.

Sturdy unit

At three years old, the baby begins to separate his personality from his parents. Now he has developed psychological independence, and he is looking for a suitable model of behavior for himself. During this period, children study relationships between people of the same and different sexes, they learn what is good and bad, what can be done and what should not be done.

At this age, boys have a growing desire to work with men, to be brave in different situations, to be careful with ladies, to devote themselves to work, in general, to be the same as their father, grandfather, brother. The baby is looking for himself and taking his place in society, even if for now he is in a family and peer group.

How to properly raise a boy at 3 years old? This is the most opportune moment to lay down the right directions in life and demonstrate the behavioral patterns characteristic of men. The main and first example in this should certainly be dad. In addition, the boy pays attention not just to advice about the behavior of men, but also to how dad treats the rest of the family.

Non-male occupation

If you see your five-year-old son in his dress and with lipstick on, you will most likely be horrified. But there is no need to panic right away. This is perhaps just a game, a way to understand the world around him. But if you notice that your son at the age of 5-7 is increasingly drawn to women's things or his behavior raises any suspicions in you, do not be lazy and consult a psychologist.

As a rule, such behavior is provoked by ordinary problems in the family and incorrect educational methods. The same violations sometimes occur in boys, where the woman has a strong, superior role, and the man decides practically nothing or no one is interested in his opinion. Raising a 5-year-old boy should under no circumstances allow any mistakes.

It happens that boys' passion for girls' clothes manifests itself when their younger sister grows up. And most often this happens if parents cannot give their attention in equal shares. So that a four- or five-year-old boy can “come to his senses,” praise him more, say out loud that he is your favorite son, a good boy. Show it in actions.

You need to be careful! If your baby avoids boys and prefers female roles in “mother-daughter” games, this indicates that he is afraid to be in the role of a boy!!!

Boys are much more sensitive than girls. They are more afraid of the dark, quarrels, screams and tears of their mother. Boys are much more likely to stutter, enuresis (urinary incontinence) and fear of loneliness. They close themselves off much more, hold back their emotions and remain silent more. Traces of such experiences can be found on the toy: You need to worry if it is very worn in some places.

Boys do not grow up to be men because they are born in a man's body. They feel strong and begin to adopt masculine behavior only with upbringing and the opportunity to observe the behavior of their father and brothers, whom they trust. Otherwise, boys will be drawn to their mother, and in the future this will lead to conflict: the body of a man, and the character of a woman. The baby should be protected from complexes. And thus you will have peace of mind for your son.

To know how to raise a 5-year-old boy, you need to read books on child psychology and attend several lectures by child psychologists.

What you need to properly raise boys

• Read fairy tales about knights and rescuers in the title role;
• Play football, basketball, karate, fencing with your son more often;
• Buy him toys for both boys and girls. There will be nothing wrong if a boy plays a gardener or a cook. This will not affect him in any way, but he will learn to worry and take care of loved ones;
• Dad should bring friends so that the baby can observe the relationships between adult men at home;
• Visit your grandfather more, talk about relatives in a good manner;
• Mommy is obliged to tell good words about daddy (even if he does not live with his family). Each of us has qualities that can be praised;
• Emphasize your son’s courageous actions and ignore his weaknesses - because this happens to everyone.

How not to turn your son into a “mama’s boy”

• Don't let the boy sleep in his parents' bed after a year (it's especially bad if the boy sleeps with mom and dad after 5 - 7 years);
• Don't blunt your child's initiative;
• Don’t buy your son toys that you really like;
• Allow him to be friends with children of different personalities;
• Do not demand unquestioning obedience from him;
• If someone took a toy from a child, do not even think about scolding the offender and taking the toy, the child must return it to himself;
• Having abandoned everything, take the son’s side in conflict situations with peers. Give him the opportunity to solve the problem on his own;
• You should not feel excessively sorry for him or make allowances when another relative asks him to behave diligently.

Do children need punishment?

The answer is yes. But the punishment may not be physical force. It will be sufficient to simply deprive the child of watching his favorite cartoon or prohibit sweets, maybe postpone a visit to the zoo or circus. It all depends on the degree of the “crime” committed.

Raising a 5-year-old child is especially difficult. If you begin to notice that the boy is behaving more aggressively, he starts to fight first, gets at other children - these signals should not be ignored. The 5 year old is still modeling his behavior. Everyone should throw out their bad emotions, but you will have to teach your child to do it differently. Your goal is to direct the baby’s energy in a peaceful direction.

Enroll the boy in some section or arrange, for example, pillow fights at home, or even better would be to combine everything. You will notice how your child will become calmer, his physical and mental health will improve, and therefore his health will be stronger.

Raising a 4-year-old boy is no more difficult when he is 7. You just need to pay him enough attention.

In raising boys, the issue of appearance plays an important role. After all, a real man cannot look sloppy. But this does not mean making a clean boy out of a boy who will be afraid to go play football because his uniform will get dirty.

Try not to reproach or yell at your child, especially in front of strangers. This way you will form an inferiority complex in him. And under no circumstances try to realize your personal childhood dreams in your son.

Don't forget that your baby is an individual, he has his own dreams and needs. And, one way or another, you need to get used to the idea that your baby will choose his own path in life, different from yours. Don't always keep the boy close - you can make both him and yourself unhappy.

The main thing is to love your son, listen to him and believe that you are growing up a Real Man.

It often happens that parents want to have a girl or a boy. But do they often think about the differences in the educational process that depend on the gender of the child? But how to raise a real man out of him is a complex and multifaceted question.

So the baby was born

When your little son is born, one of the first tasks is to give him a real male name. At the same time, psychologists do not recommend giving such as Evgeniy, Valentin or Yuliy. The color blue in clothing does not play a serious role in the formation of masculinity. This is most likely a necessity for parents; they thereby signal to others that a real man is growing up in the family.

First year of life

Near the end of the first year of life, parents who have thought about how to raise a boy correctly will notice that their baby likes to make trouble. In this way he manifests his “I” and shows his independence. Experts called these manifestations “the crisis of the first year.” During this period, not just the character of the son is actively formed, but also his determination, independence and even self-esteem. How should parents behave in such a situation? You need to try to take these manifestations as calmly as possible. There is no need to try to break it, patience and affection will help in communicating with him. At this age, boys need affection and tenderness no less than girls; therefore, a kiss or hug will not harm the development of a future man. It is not for nothing that raising children in Islam does not differentiate them by gender at this age: here boys and girls are equal. At the same time, a little boy should not be allowed to twist himself into ropes: parental authority should reinforce your love and care. But even here it is better to know when to stop, since the baby needs self-affirmation, so ignoring his desires and requests in the future can play a bad joke on you.

Psychologists recommend that parents wondering how to raise a boy correctly should not use the genderless “baby” or “lapula” when addressing their son... The best option would be to come up with addresses that emphasize his gender, for example, “my protector”, “son”, "hero" and so on.

Boys over three years of age

At about three years old, parents will notice that the baby has become independent. At this age, the baby studies the interaction between people, learns to understand what is bad and what is good. It is during this time period that the boy develops a desire to communicate more with men, to be as brave, strong and daring. Right now, the most correct thing for parents who are wondering “how to raise a boy” would be to give the right guidelines and show the most typical behavior patterns for males (certainly positive). A mother striving to raise a “knight” needs to see him, first of all, as a little man, choosing for herself the position of the weaker sex. It will be useful for the boy's self-esteem to consult with him, as well as allow him to be strong (for example, show that without his help you would certainly fall). And remember that the spiritual education of children begins at the moment when parents give them the opportunity to understand that they are full members of the family.