How to stop being a boy and become a man. Positive thoughts are half the battle. A real man knows when to take a break from work.

The modern world has changed a lot, many values ​​have been lost. Unfortunately, the concept man” has also changed, and many modern guys are no different from girls. Men want to know how to be real a man to be admired by others and to please women. How be a man and what qualities do you need to have? The following tips will help you realize how a real man differs from others.

The man takes responsibility

A real man will never do something, knowing that it is wrong, and then blame others. A man always takes responsibility. One of the meanings of the word "husband" is one who is able to manage the family. Even if a man makes a mistake, he corrects it himself, and does not blame his wife or children for his own failure. A man analyzes and changes his behavior or attitude towards a problem. Responsible and self-confident men are always nice to look at.

A real man always becomes a leader

A real man is obliged to make decisions persistently and take full responsibility for the decision. No one likes when a person mumbles when the husband in the house cannot make any decision himself. Of course, the wife does not want to be controlled everywhere and not asked what she herself wants, but she also does not want all the affairs to fall on her fragile shoulders. Men who lack firmness of character can use auditing which helps to become better, stronger, happier.

A man must be strong

Of course, we are not talking about physiological strength - everything is clear here, a man is much stronger than a woman. A strong person is one who is able to control his emotions. So, a man simply must be able to manage his anger. It is no secret that women are more emotional, in a quarrel they can say a lot of nonsense, and if a man argues the same way as a woman, then conflicts will never be resolved. Therefore, a man must control emotions. After all, he is a man, he is smarter and more responsible.

A man must be courageous

This characteristic includes such human qualities as honesty, independence, discipline, conscientiousness, self-confidence, the ability to communicate and convince. If a man knows how to look into the eyes of pain and difficulties, then this is a real courageous person.

A man must have good manners

Finally, a man should be well-groomed and neat

Of course, this paragraph does not imply that he should go to beauty salons, after all, he is a man, and this is the prerogative of women. But, clean shoes and ironed clothes will not be superfluous.

These points will tell you how to be a man, but a peasant from the word "husband", i.e. courageous, courageous, responsible, polite. This is how all girls and women represent him. When choosing a partner for herself, as a husband, a woman, first of all, makes sure that her husband is a support and a reliable strong wall, both for herself and for future children.

I welcome you to my blog, I am Sasha Bogdanova, and today we will continue the topic that we have already begun to analyze earlier.

We also decided on his qualities and left the most significant question for dessert - how to become a real man.

In fact, there are not many options - this is either proper parental education from childhood, or, if there was none, then self-education.

But before proceeding to the analysis of the topic, I want to draw attention to one interesting fact. The formation of a boy as a man occurs ... at the age of three! In other words, either he is formed from childhood as a man, or everything is much more complicated in the future.

This does not mean at all that those who did not receive the initially necessary upbringing and correct guidelines are doomed to live out the rest of their lives as effeminate individuals. No! There is a way out of this, and you will find it in this article. And now in order.

It is often embarrassing to admit to yourself that you are not who you would like to be. But this step is worth it! For those who wished to change for the better, there will be no barriers - I'm sure of it!

Each has its own weaknesses that need to be worked on. They can be both small "flaws" of character, and serious omissions in the development of your male component.

Some people lack a little tenacity, determination, or the ability to keep promises. And someone will have to "reshape" themselves thoroughly:

• disrespectful attitude towards the opposite sex: insults, the use of physical force against women
• alcohol abuse and even more so drugs (even light ones)
• predisposition to change
• boastfulness
• endless lies to others

All these and many similar things do not paint you as a man, and obviously will not make you one.

But in fairness, it is worth mentioning that the concept of a real man implies getting rid of both minor flaws and base deeds. This does not mean at all that you need to behave like a nun, but to stain yourself with such baseness is also not a good idea.

Understand one thing - a man, first of all, prioritizes his moral values ​​(which, for a minute (!), Should correspond to the status of a “real man”), and not animal instincts, his whims and cheap show-offs.

And given the conscious age, then the responsibility for the re-education of a loved one lies only with you. Now, as for the actual work on yourself ...

Your own educator

Now let each of the men who reads these lines honestly answer to HIMSELF the question: “Am I worthy to call myself a real man?”.

Honestly! To myself. Without the need to make excuses to anyone, without the desire to please someone or the shame of confessing their shortcomings to other people.

You are the person who knows much more about himself than others. Answer yourself: there are qualities in you that you would like to eradicate, and in their place grow something more than just “quality”.

We are all not perfect, but a man who is aware of his status will not waste his life and time on pettiness and baseness. If you decide to take up your upbringing, then cast aside all doubts and act.

So, first you need to identify for yourself the areas in which you need to work on corrections. It is better to write down this and subsequent work on paper - the visualization of goals helps a lot in their implementation.

The word is red in deed - let's move on to practice

But conversation is conversation, and nature does not change by itself. Therefore, I propose to figure out how to change yourself for the better.

Everyone has their own shortcomings that need to be worked on, but I will try to give a list of those qualities that you should pay attention to first of all:

• Caring for your loved ones

No matter what life situations happen to you, you are responsible for your loved ones! By creating a family, a man takes on a huge responsibility for her peace, prosperity and well-being.

• Ability to admit your mistakes

This quality is underestimated by many, but in vain. A man is like a child: they both explore the world, but the first one is more deeply and consciously. The man is a provider and explorer.

Many are trying to create or try something new in their lives. Of course, not all undertakings or actions will be true, and therefore it is better to admit that you are wrong and draw the right conclusions.

• No whining or excuses

This point does not even need to be explained ... Can anyone imagine a real man who endlessly cries about his problems and looks for an excuse for them? No excuses: "But he, she ..."! Are you a man or what?

• Loyalty to yourself

A man is true to his word (he said - he did), his choice (whether it be a girl / woman, a car, a job, etc. - he chose himself and then there is nothing to look for to blame)

Faithful to his life principles (if you think something is right / necessary / necessary, then there is nothing to turn away from it at the first case when it is unprofitable or lazy for you).

• Learn from the best and lead by example

There is nothing wrong with learning from successful people. In addition, later on you and your actions should be an example.

• Boasting and show-off

If you have such a habit - tie it up. A man is not a peacock, and therefore, if he does something for the benefit of others and free of charge, he does not focus on it. And even more so, do not stoop to the level of boasting about your successes and achievements.

Whoever needs it will notice without it, and whoever is not interested, and with extra words, they will not pay any attention to the object of your pride.

In conclusion: what else you need to know

Now that you have decided what you want to change in yourself, it's time to get to work. It is best to work on each quality in turn. Until you achieve the desired result in one direction, do not take on another.

As you know, working on yourself is the hardest. Therefore, I want to note that you will need throughout the entire time that you will move towards the acquisition of all male qualities:

• a clear understanding of what you want to see as the end result
• self-control (it is logical who else to demand something from you, if not yourself)
• loyalty to your decisions (remember, you are a man! And if you decide to work on yourself, then be true to YOUR DECISION!)
• persistence

The main thing I am sure of is that those who really want to change will achieve their goal! After all, in order to start changing, you need a desire, not Mondays.

I would like to hear your opinions on this matter, but I say goodbye to you. But not for long - I still have many interesting publications ahead, one of which is how to raise a son as a real man.

Read my blog, subscribe to it, tell your friends and see you on local pages!)

Always with you, Sasha Bogdanova

The life of every man is a heroic journey, which he begins as a little boy and can end up as a mature man who is aware of his integrity and worth. On this path, every man must go through 5 main stages in the development of the psyche.

Stage 1. Getting rid of the mother complex

I think that there is not a single son who, becoming a man, would not break off relations with his mother for some time. Left with her, the son will never get rid of the mother complex. The son needs to listen to his own voice and let it be louder than the voice of the mother. Often the mother does everything to keep him. For example, it inspires the idea of ​​devotion to oneself, but if this idea takes possession of the son completely, everything will end up with the masculine principle being seriously affected.

The future man must avoid this and leave his mother, even if at some point such an act seems like a betrayal. The mother must endure this pain. However, later the son may return to establish a completely different level of relationship with his mother. But this will happen only after the son independently gains independence and learns to establish emotional relationships with peers. .

Often the mother complex is strongly supported by the mother., who does not understand what it means to be just a woman, a person, because she never felt like that - only a mother. For her, the removal of the role means psychological death, so she clings to her son with all her might as the only meaning of life. In such a situation, getting rid of the mother complex becomes a fundamental task for the son, without solving which his full development as a man is impossible.

Stage 2. Mastering your aggression

This is the time of the transformation of a teenager into a man. Aggression, the power of instinct, a huge male energy awakening in the soul of a boy should strengthen his ego. In the future, this energy will be required on the entire path of becoming, so it is so important to learn how to use it correctly. If a man is not particularly reflective, he will scatter this energy all his life, showing a teenage desire to compete in everything he does.

Another option for mishandling aggression is suppressing it. This often happens under the influence of maternal attitudes about the inadmissibility of a man's manifestation of aggression.

For a boy to become a man, he must be able to master his own aggression. He cannot become a man without understanding what it means to be aggressive, but it must be aggression, controlled in accordance with his conscious attitude. If he finds himself under the control of his own rage and desire for violence, it can destroy him. Therefore, every boy on his way to a mature man must learn to control his aggression, desire for violence and be able to integrate this formidable masculine part into a holistic, self-aware personality.

A bold look at one's own aggressive part, not clouded by other people's attitudes, allows one to recognize its negative, potentially destructive part. The young man's ego is faced with the need to become strong enough to master his own rage and consciously use the energy contained in it to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving goals.

The first fight a boy has to endure is an internal fight with his own shadow, in which concentrated suppressed aggression and potential power. At the same time, very few boys manage to win only in an internal duel. To strengthen the masculine principle, it is often necessary to have and overcome external obstacles that mobilize the will and affirm identity.

Stage 3. Finding your own image of masculinity

The masculinity that a boy shows at the beginning of his journey passes to him from his father. Wanting to be like a man, the son tries to act like his father, but it turns out to be a pathetic imitation. At this stage, the formation of one's own conscious attitude to masculinity, which differs from the father's, takes place. Only in this case will the boy be able to appropriate to himself the masculinity that will constantly accompany him and serve as a support throughout his life. Successful passage of this stage may require another father, for example, a spiritual or godfather.

The essence of this stage is to receive a blessing on one's own life from the father, liberation from the influence of the father or brother. As he grows older, the young man should leave the family, entering into a struggle for his freedom with each member of his own family or with someone else, if this someone replaces his father or brother in such a duel.

If a man has a sudden conflict at work, it often indicates that there is still an emotionally charged relationship with his father or brother, despite the fact that adolescence is far behind him.

Stage 4. Connecting with the inner woman

Few men are sufficiently aware of the inner feminine component of their soul, even less in contact with her. Jung called this sensual part of the male soul "anima". A man's desire for inner development helps him recognize his anima, but in addition, a man should learn not to succumb to his mood and emotional state and not to indulge his own whims.

The main step at this stage is to learn how to make contact with the anima, to see in her an inner female companion, a female comrade who will go hand in hand with a man and warm life. A man has only two options: either he rejects his femininity, and this rejection turns against him in the form of bouts of bad mood or temptations inaccessible to him, or he accepts it and establishes a relationship with the female life principle, and this fills his life with warmth and strength. If a man is in harmony with his inner woman, he has no problems in communicating with women.

Stage 5 Awareness of the meaning of life

The stage at which a man already has the necessary resources and strength to answer the main question of his life. This is the moment of realizing that a man is unique and alone in his search. An energetic man stops active activity in the outside world and withdraws into himself for a while. This is the time to reach the maturity of the male psyche.

A man is ready to accept his loneliness, to which he is doomed by a journey in search of an answer about the meaning of life. He is able to leave the obsessive conviction that this meaning lies only in his personal happiness.

In preparation, the book of the Jungian analyst Robert Alex Johnson "He: the deepest aspects of male psychology" (Robert A. Johnson "He: Understanding Masculine Psychology") was used. published

Quite often, women use the expression "real man." This refers to a certain set of qualities that a man must possess in order for everyone to admire him, in particular women. However, the male site site insists that absolutely any guy is a man by the fact of his birth. No one can call you a "woman" because you already belong to your gender. But in order for women to also perceive you as a man on a psychological and emotional level, here you already need to try a little.

When talking about a “real man,” women refer more to the qualities they would like to see in the opposite sex. No one doubts your belonging to the male sex. However, do you have qualities that would make you a man on the psychological and moral levels?

A real man is just a set of qualities that are expressed in actions that are desired by women. However, let's break away from female ideals a little and turn to ideas about who a man is, from the point of view of the strongest sex. How do you imagine yourself if you were a real man? Here you also list a set of qualities that you must have in order to feel like a “real man”. Consider these qualities and how to develop them in yourself.

Qualities of a real man

Men attract different women. Everyone boasts of some sexual exploits. There are types that are interesting to many. If you want to be liked, then cultivate these qualities in yourself.

There is a difference between a man knowing some encyclopedic data and a man having life experience that helps him survive, communicate with people, solve problems, etc. A sexy man has life experience, which is expressed in his actions . They call him smart, but this is connected with life, not scientific knowledge.

• Generosity.

An attractive man is generous. This is not about giving gifts at the first request of a woman. It says here that a man, every time he has the opportunity, does not forget to please his beloved. It can be a chocolate bar or buying shoes because her shoes are torn. A man does not hide his money from a woman, even if he does not have too much of it.

• Emotion and understanding.

Sometimes it is called warmth, tenderness. We are talking about the fact that a man does not rise and is not fenced off from the female nature. He understands what sometimes happens to a woman (menstruation, pregnancy, emotional outbursts, etc.). He accepts her nature, respects. He can emotionally surrender to her, while maintaining composure in relation to the people around him.

• Partnership.

A man who is self-confident, self-sufficient, loving, always treats a woman as an equal to himself. They are partners who together build relationships, are responsible for them, create an atmosphere in them. He does not command and does not subjugate himself, because he knows that he can always negotiate with a woman and defend his position if she is really right. He will make the woman agree with him, while being happy and satisfied with the results.

• Confidence.

A man knows his desires, confidently goes to them, supports a woman or accepts support from her. He is sure that he will definitely come to the goal: if not now, then later. At the same time, he does not humiliate anyone.

• Sense of humor.

All people have different jokes. For a man who attracts, jokes do not humiliate or offend anyone, especially his woman. Insecure gentlemen joke with their ladies. Adult and responsible men joke kindly, without hurting the pride, personality and honor of their loved ones.

• Words and actions are the same.

A man who attracts not only speaks, but also does. He can be trusted. You can trust his words. This is confirmed by those situations when he not only promises something, but also realizes what was promised.

Previously, it seemed that a man should be pumped up, outwardly attractive and smiling. Today, women understand that appearance does not play any role in building family relationships. You have to live with the character and skills of a man. If he tries for the sake of a woman, then he succeeds. And if he does not respect and appreciate his lady, then he lives only for himself, which makes him attractive only in the eyes of masochists.

Man is action

To be called and perceived by people around you as a real man, you need to talk less, talk and do more. The modern world is a world of talkers. And not only men talk, but also women. People have learned to speak beautifully and correctly. But who will do the work?

The world understands only actions. No matter how many words you say, and if you do nothing, then what should happen will happen. If, for example, you want to eat, then no matter what you say to yourself and no matter how hard you try to fence yourself off from your hunger, you will not eat until you satisfy it. The world understands only actions, and a woman can only trust actions.

Although women “love with their ears,” they still “shake the noodles off their ears” over time and begin to see who they are actually dating. If you only know how to promise and speak beautifully, then you will quickly annoy a woman who will start calling you a talker and a “windbag”.

The one who listens works harder than the one who talks a lot. If you pay attention, you will see this pattern. Why is the listener a hard worker, and a talker is a lazy person? A person cannot speak and work at the same time. Either he is doing his job, or his mind is occupied with what he has to say.

You can say that many workers manage to work and talk at the same time. This happens when the workers have already brought their actions to automatism. It should be understood that while you are talking, your thoughts cannot switch to work. If only you can automatically perform some actions, then you can both speak and work. Even here, while you are working, you do not notice what you are doing. If your actions are wrong, then you get a problem that now distracts your attention more than the desire to talk.

While you are talking, you can only think about the conversation. But when you shut up, then you can focus on your work. Remember how you are talking about something, and then ask the interlocutor to be silent so that they can read something or focus on something. You perform these actions unconsciously, but even here the idea is confirmed that while you are talking, you can no longer focus on anything other than talking. You seem to see, read, do something at the moment you speak, but then you try to remember - and nothing is remembered. You know what you read, saw, performed actions, but you don’t remember what exactly you saw, read or did.

The listener is a hard worker, and the talker is a lazy person. If you want to work, shut your mouth. If you want your subordinates to work, then select those people who did not come to chat, but silently work in your company.

Learn to listen more than talk. But you should not be silent when you need to say something!

Manhood is...

What do people call manhood? The sexual organ of a man - is it really a virtue? Then is it any wonder that many men are proud only of what they have below the belt, not wanting to develop other useful qualities in themselves?

If you consider the sexual organ as a virtue, then you are no different from simple animals or fish. They also have sex organs. But it is unlikely that they are proud of them as their only virtues. If a person calls the sexual organ a virtue, then why are his arms, legs, head not the same values? The “soft spot” should also be called an important part, since it performs the same role as the “main advantage”. And where are the virtues in the form of honesty, strength, wisdom? Many will say that "there can be many strengths and interesting sides in a person." But then one should not consider the sexual organ as a value, since this is a natural phenomenon, like the head, arms, legs. A healthy person must have all the organs for a normal existence. But this is not a merit.

If you call the sexual organ a virtue, then a person does not have a desire to have other unique features and qualities. He is already above everyone only because there is an organ below the navel, which, it is worth noting, is available to absolutely any healthy person.

The dignity of a man is ... The sexual organ? Then it is not surprising that a man can give nothing but this “value” to other people. Is dignity really the presence of a sexual organ? Then all people are worthy and above the rest. "The rest" - who is this, if everyone is worthy?

Dignity is something acquired by the person himself, acquired, distinctive. Being responsible is a virtue. Being thoughtful is a virtue. Being understanding and accepting is a virtue. These qualities are so rarely seen in modern man! Everyone is proud of their genitals, as the only values ​​in their lives. But they did not even make any efforts to achieve these values, since this was given to them by nature. What is a person proud of - what is given by nature, to which he did not make any effort?

See the absurd state of things and, perhaps, it will make you laugh, as a person who is soberly looking at the world, who is not only proud of his body as a whole (and not in parts), but is also engaged in the development of his soul and consciousness.

How to become a real man in the end?

Since most often the expression “real man” is used by women, since men themselves never doubt what gender they belong to, we will decide once and for all the question of how to become such a gentleman so that a woman admires and is always sure of whom she meets . How to eventually become that “real man” that women talk about?

Everything is very simple here:

• A man must take responsibility for his words and actions.
• If a man promises, he must keep his word.
• If a man talks about his feelings, then he must show them in practice.
• A man must financially provide a woman so that she can do other things: be beautiful, do housework, take care of children.
• A man must remain faithful. Yes, a real man does not change. Change cables.

And yet, a man should be a leader in a relationship. This news is very pleasant for men. But here's the problem: women themselves want to be leaders in relationships, taking away their function from men. Here the men themselves contribute to the problem: if they do not hold on to their power, then others take it away. If you want to be a leader in relationships, then take care of the well-being of your “subordinates” (women and children), take into account their opinions, perform important functions and take on the most difficult work for yourself - then no one will take away your power, all “subjects” will satisfied with their "king".

What does it mean to be a man today? How can you express your masculine essence, but at the same time not become either a heartless asshole? This BroDude is always a lot to figure out!

Make real decisions

A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives according to his own ideas about how it should be. He knows that if he does not make a decision, stagnation will immediately form in his life, and therefore he always chooses his own path.

When he makes a decision, he opens the door to his desires and closes the door to what he does not want. The man is striving for her at full speed. There is no guarantee that he will achieve it, and he knows it, but he does not need any guarantees. When a man follows his path, he will not care, even if the whole world is against him.

Planes first

And the girls, of course, then. A man who puts relationships (or family) first in his life is either lying to himself or weak and cannot be trusted. He doesn't have a masculine value system. A man who considers others more important than himself is no good - he is simply immature.

A man knows that he has to do something more significant than satisfying the needs of a handful of people. He doesn't want to be tamed - he wants to take responsibility for something meaningful. He knows that, neglecting this, he becomes a half-wit. When others see that he has beliefs, values ​​and ideals, he is trusted, respected, even if not directly supported. The easiest way for a man to lose someone else's respect (and self-respect too) is to betray his beliefs.

Life will test a man so that he opens up. He will have many opportunities to betray himself for the sake of someone else's approval. He will be tempted, but he must withstand this onslaught. When a man sacrifices his views, he loses his freedom and himself. Now we can only feel sorry for him.

Wish for failure

A real man wants to make mistakes. He wants to be wrong. This person would rather try and fail than do nothing.

A man trusts himself, and this is his strength. He doesn't ask himself a hundred times if he's doing the right thing, he doesn't worry about failures - that would only make him weaker. A smart man considers the possibility of failure, but does not bother with anticipation. He understands: if it happens, he will be able to cope with it.

A man grows even more through failure than through success. Successes cannot so test his determination as failures. Success is not a test, and a man just learns from tests when he takes risks. If you worry about safety all the time, sooner or later you will lose strength and enthusiasm.

Self confidence

The man speaks and behaves confidently. He knows his worth.

A man does not assume a confident pose to give himself confidence: he just knows that everything will work out. A man often knows that the case will probably end in failure, however, when signs of failure are present, he still does not lose confidence. Not because he has rose-colored glasses on or he is used to denying everything. The fact is that he has strength and he does not doubt himself. Thanks to her, he is persistent.

A man wants the world to conquer him. He wants circumstances to prevail over him, but he refuses to lose his head and retreat because of self-doubt and constant doubts. He knows that when he stops trusting himself, he will lose himself forever. He surrenders to the mercy of fate if necessary, but does not surrender to fear.

Manifestation of love

In a pair, he gives, not receives. He is the first to initiate communication, he asks if anything is needed, the first one says: “I love you.” Waiting for someone to make the first move is unacceptable to him.

Redirection of sexual energy

If someone is put off by his masculinity, well, that's their right. It is not necessary for him to be less of a man in order not to frighten someone. A man knows what the consequences of being a man are - that's nature.

However, he would never let lust get the better of him. He redirects his sexual energy to the head so that it can serve a higher purpose instead of stimulating animal instincts.

A man walks towards fear

For a man, fear of something is reason enough to do it. Male fear is a challenge that suggests that he needs to test himself for strength. When a man hides from his fears, he is afraid to know himself. So he begins to feel fear, helplessness and. The feeling of doom is unbearable for a man, and he will do anything to get rid of it. Only by meeting his fear, he finds peace.

The man takes a risk. He doesn't run or hide—he turns to face his fear and confronts it. Further, either success or failure. Never try just cowards.

Responsibility

He consciously chooses his friends and women. He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire him, challenge him, and part ways with those who are holding him back.

A man does not blame others for the problems in his relationship. If the relationship has become obsolete, the man ends it and moves on without a hint of guilt.

He starts the relationship consciously. He makes a conscious decision to be around someone. A man teaches others how to treat him by setting an example for them in his own relationships. He refuses to fill his life with negativity and destructive emotions.

A man knows how to die

The most important task of any man is to develop his inner strength and express himself. When he has done this, he is ready to die. If he does not do this, death becomes his enemy and hangs over him like the sword of Damocles.

A man cannot die with dignity if he has not lived with dignity. Part of a worthy life is to accept your own mortality and the temporality of your own existence. When a man faces inevitable death and sees in it not an enemy, but an ally, he finally becomes stronger. So a man is not ready for life until he learns that he is already dead.