How to win a man by correspondence. How to make a pen pal fall in love with you - online communication secrets

Communication by correspondence is a kind of art, which is why it is necessary to take into account different rules. We offer the most versatile of them.

We partly live in a virtual world. That is why we often think about how to interest this or that person by correspondence. It can be a potential client, a nice guy or a girl you like - it doesn't matter. There are seven rules of online communication that we consider universal.

Write Properly

Now there are a lot of programs that help check spelling and punctuation - let the message, taking into account your knowledge, not be perfect, but gross errors will be polished. Message recipients who are friendly with the Russian language are often repelled by too obvious mistakes, phrases without punctuation marks. Don't know a certain word? Look in the dictionary or replace it with a more simple but familiar one. If you don’t feel the strength to write beautifully and competently, take into account your sore spot, apologize in advance to your interlocutor for the inconvenience - but this is for very difficult cases, if you speak the language very poorly. Pull up your knowledge and the question of how to interest a girl by correspondence will be asked less and less.

Be careful with emotional messages

Not all people understand what functions an exclamation point or large print (CapsLock) performs. When communicating even with acquaintances, do not use either one or the other. There must be a serious reason for the exclamation mark - especially do not put several at the end of each sentence. You are trying to express approval, support, joy, and the person on the other side of the screen thinks that they are raising their voice. This can complicate further conversation, make communication tense. Use periods, commas, don't use large fonts. Thinking about how to interest a pen pal emotionally, choose emoticons and stickers. Today it is an important means of communication.

A few words about emoticons

This invention of the virtual world has firmly entered the life of modern man. But smiles also need to be able to use. They are appropriate when accompanying a letter, when you want to convey certain emotions, mood. Clean emoticons are relevant at the end of the dialogue, when you say goodbye to the interlocutor and exchange the last remarks. Messages with stickers as a greeting and a dialogue start are not suitable - it seems that you do not particularly bother in preparing for communication. In no case do not use these cute drawings as an answer to a direct question - this is stupid and ugly, especially if a person is waiting for a clear answer. There are a lot of tips on how to interest a pen pal in psychology. But the main one sounds like this: put yourself in the place of the interlocutor, feel what kind of communication you would like, but do not reduce everything to your own worldview - we are talking about common features like politeness and adequacy.

greetings

What kind of greeting you choose will largely depend on communication further. Do not try to invent something unique, avoid stationery stamps, nonsense like “good time of the day”, etc. A simple “hello” or “hello” will be enough. Try not to limit yourself to just this first post. Add immediately information for a lead. For example: “Hi, do you have a minute?”. Or: Hello. Can I chat with you about work?” etc. - depends on the specific occasion. Your first message should set you up for the rest of the conversation. A simple greeting is often not enough - a person may not be interested in it.

Appeals

Many examples of how to interest a pen girlfriend contain a lot of harmful tips. One of them is the use of cute names like "sunny", "cat", "bunny" or stupid compliments in the style of a pickup artist. Or you might think of using a diminutive form of the name. If you do not want to be blacklisted immediately, wait a little with both. Often, compliments of such a plan sound ridiculous, and even unpleasant from an outside stranger. Also, some people don't like certain forms of the name - they prefer not to be called that. You can not guess, and then the communication will end before it begins.

At the first conversation, do not go into lengthy discussions, do not touch on resonant topics: religion, politics, attitudes towards minorities, etc. Are you thinking how to interest a man by correspondence? Do not start asking in detail about his personal life. The same goes for girls. If you are interested in further acquaintance, it is enough to know that the person has no family. Do not ask why a girl at that age is not married, and a man still does not have children. Be delicate - and you will be repaid the same. Try to interest people with common interests, talk about other useful things - movies, books, art, hobbies, sports, etc.

Do not impose and do not disappear

In other words: keep your distance. If you send dozens of messages every day, you can get bored, and if you disappear for three days, you will be forgotten and exchanged for another candidate for communication. And remember: in correspondence, a lot depends on how you yourself read the messages that you received in your head. The same with the other person. There are things that are easy to deceive - so try to make the communication real if possible.

We have all heard the saying that modesty adorns a person, and this is how it really is, but how applicable is this principle of life specifically to communication by correspondence? The first thing that stops many girls is modesty, they are afraid to write first to some man, because they believe that this man should, as they say, hunt for a girl. And they are right in a way, because every man is a hunter at heart.

In fact, if a girl shows excessive initiative, if she tries to get a man, then automatically the man's interest in relation to this girl fades away. Some girls who are not characterized by excessive modesty, seeing the account of a man they like, fill him up with compliments. This is also an extreme, which should be avoided, since any man wants a girl to be unavailable at first, he wants to gradually reveal it. That is, if we are talking about a serious relationship, then this process should develop all the same gradually. When communicating by correspondence, these two extremes should be avoided.

Work on mistakes

The first thing to do if you like a young man is to write to him, and don't be afraid to do it first, you just need to do it right, avoiding three main mistakes:

To make a compliment, that is, you must be inaccessible to your future chosen one, you must be a mystery to him. Giving a man compliments, a woman, as it were, demonstrates her accessibility, and a man is already forming a more frivolous attitude towards her.
You should not write in the first sentence: “Let's get acquainted”, this phrase also deprives the acquaintance of mystery and intrigue and looks too straightforward.
You should not send a man a banal message like “Good afternoon”, “Good evening”, “How are you?”. All these phrases are too worn out and for sure the man has repeatedly received similar messages from different girls, therefore, most likely he will not even pay attention to such a remark.

Write about what interests him

What should be written then in this case? First of all, carefully study the information contained in the account of the man you are interested in. Pay special attention to the "Interests" column. That is, your main task is to choose a specific one among his interests and ask a question about this hobby of his. That is, if, for example, fishing is among the interests of your potential chosen one, you can ask the question: “What is the largest fish you managed to catch?”. At the same time, by asking such questions, you do not lose your mystery, and even if the guy does not answer you, this should not hurt or offend you.

What should be your first message?

A few more tips on what should be the first message to the man you like. It should be light, unobtrusive and written without errors, because guys pay attention to such nuances and begin to form a first impression of you based on this. Before writing something to a young man, you should put your account in order, namely, delete your photos with your ex-boyfriend, delete other unsuccessful photos, with alcohol, with cigarettes and others.

When corresponding with a man, use all your originality and sense of humor. Do not be afraid to ask questions, as you are the initiator of the conversation and you should conduct it, however, the questions should be superficial, you should not ask him too personal questions. It is unlikely that a young man will want to open his soul to a stranger, but on your part it will look at least tactless.

How and when to end the conversation?

If the guy does not respond to your messages - do not impose, it is better to try again in a couple of days. If you still managed to start a correspondence with a young man, then you should definitely catch the moment when the dialogue is already becoming uninteresting, emotionally scarce, then it’s better to stop communication in time and say goodbye. Because the main thing is to leave this one on top, at the peak, so that later he would have a pleasant memory of you, and he already wanted to write to you himself. It turns out that guys have a special relationship with emoticons. They need to be put approximately every 5-7 messages, and the simpler they are to begin with, the better, it is better to leave all sorts of intricate hearts and kisses for later, and not for the first or even for the second conversation.

Goods face

One more thing - you should have no one on your avatar, namely your photo, because after successful virtual communication, in a real meeting, a man can simply be disappointed, because a completely different girl will come to meet him, and not that which he expected to see. Therefore, if you liked the guy so much that you decided to start a correspondence with him, therefore, you will probably want to meet him in the future, so it’s better to be yourself from the very beginning.

A phrase that arouses genuine interest

And finally, an example of a specific phrase that will arouse a strong interest in a man. To a very stylish, handsome, well-groomed man who is successful and rich, and probably not deprived of female attention, you can say the following phrase: “I noticed one very interesting quality in you that women usually really like, but I consider it more of a disadvantage than a virtue.”

To the average man who does not bathe in women's compliments, you say the phrase: "You know, I noticed a quality in you that women usually don't like in men, but I appreciate it." It doesn’t matter what type of man your potential chosen one belongs to, in any case, he will have a huge interest, he will start interrogating you, what did you notice, because it directly concerns his personality, and nothing is more interesting to a man than himself, it is interesting mysterious and will surely excite his imagination. And at this point, the most important thing is not to answer this question. Simply say, "You'll know when the time is right," and change the subject. If you answer this question, you will ruin everything, let him wait and think about it. Apply this technique, and you are guaranteed to get the desired interest.

And remember, the important advantages of virtual communication are, firstly, that you have the opportunity to think, so you should never rush to answer, carefully consider your messages, show all your erudition and imagination. And, secondly, another advantage is that communicating virtually, you feel more relaxed and bold, so use these privileges and look for your destiny!

So, everything seems to be fine, but then your gentleman suddenly disappears. Some men do not even try to explain their sudden disappearance.

How? Why? Most ladies will refer to the fact that for him it was only a passing fad. But there is another option: to delve into yourself. Perhaps you did not interest a man in anything? About what ways you need to intrigue your chosen one and stir up interest in yourself, I will tell in this article.

How to attract a beloved and loving man into your life

With women who attract their own, everything is clear. That is, nothing is clear, but that's why they are interesting. Details in the given link.

This method of intrigue works at first, when a man does not know you yet, but is eager to find out.

And you, like a closed book, must hold the line:

give out information about yourself to a minimum,
suddenly disappear and suddenly appear,
smile mysteriously,
periodically take unpredictable steps.

What can I say, while you must be dazzlingly good-looking.

Are you sick? Then you should not appear in front of a man. Believe me, the period will come when he will gladly take care of you, heal and spoon-feed you when you feel bad. But not in the first months of dating.

Without makeup, with a swollen nose and a scarf wrapped around your throat, lie at home. At this point, one of the best ways to intrigue a man is to disappear for a while.

And you don’t need to open your cards that you just have an acute respiratory disease. You are not there, you have disappeared somewhere, you are busy with something.

In this case, it would be better to communicate with the chosen one:

through social networks.

The less details the better.

How to interest a man by correspondence, what questions to ask him?

If he himself is not looking for communication, you can write something unexpected and extraordinary yourself.

A banal "hello, how are you" will not work. Well, he will answer that everything is fine (but how else?). And that's it. Not bad if in response he takes an interest in your affairs. Boring, uninteresting.

But if you ask this type of question:“Do you happen to know someone who breeds Sumatran otters?” There will be a lot of questions here. From the simple: “Why do you need this?” to "Who are the Sumatran otters?".

Subscribe to updates and soon you will receive a lot of intriguing phrases, SMS, which
you can intrigue and generally interest any man in communication by correspondence in social networks or just by SMS. Doesn't matter!

If we talk about virtual communication, it is better not to write long sentences, which sometimes there is no time to read at the present time. A couple of phrases are enough.

If the relationship lasts more than a month, you can write something sweet and pleasant, like "I miss the way you look at me."

It is better to write about sadness and melancholy occasionally, but all the same, such phrases sound very touching. If you have a bouquet-candy period, they will be in the subject.

You can intrigue a man by writing SMS at short intervals.

Eg:

The first will contain only the word "I".
Wait a few seconds, send the second, with the word "I want". The man is intrigued: what do you want?
The following should be sent with the word "you".
Wait another 5-10 seconds and send the last SMS by writing the word "see".
Rest assured he smiled as he read the penultimate word.

Virtual communication is good because you can write everything that in reality you are afraid to say. If you are modest beyond your years, try to relax in correspondence with your lover. Send him a couple of photos of sexy underwear, offering to choose one of them. Not for myself, of course, for you. Like, I can't choose what to wear.

Even if you don’t have such underwear in real life, you can simply find plausible photos on the Internet.

A man will certainly be intrigued by this:

firstly, he will be interested in how you look now,
secondly, for what occasion do you choose underwear.

What to do to interest a man

To intrigue a man, you need to be an excellent conversationalist, communication with which would bring him only pleasure. The male half of humanity also loves with their ears.

Grammatically correct speech,
a pleasant voice,
attention, which is manifested in the ability to listen,

no less valuable to us than a spectacular appearance.

In the end, one can recall the beautiful and clever Scheherazade, who captivated the king with her stories.

Among other things, a man will be interested if you:

Playful. Nobody likes bores. If you intend to plan your whole future life with your chosen one immediately after meeting, and already on the second date you offer to get a mortgage or rent a house together, the man will undoubtedly run away. Be cheerful and carefree. After all, moments spent together should bring joy. Do not immediately load it with your problems. You will have time to do all this after the solemn registration of marriage, but for now, you are satisfied with everything and wish to have a good time.

Independent. As an addition to the first point, you should have a lot of worries (work, hobbies, communication with parents, relatives, friends) that do not require the presence of a man. You are busy with a career, repair or playing with your nephews - a man must understand that your time is valuable. If you show that you have nothing to do without him, he will immediately lose interest. Your chosen one should think every time, do you have time for him? Then he will appreciate the time spent together, and you will very rarely hear the phrase: “Unfortunately, plans have changed” from him.
Sexy. Many do not quite understand this word. It's not about lips puffed up with silicone and painted in red lipstick, frank neckline and short miniskirt. Such an image rather scares away, which intrigues men. All it takes is one bright accent and a glance thrown at the man. Do you have beautiful lips? Then highlight them. And waving your cilia, look at your lover, smile slightly and look away.

Sometimes just one touch is enough to intrigue a man. I don't mean some indecent groping. You can casually touch his shoulder when passing by, or touch his arm while talking. The male half of humanity loves gentle touches no less than women.

How to get your husband interested

It would seem that you have known each other for a hundred years, and there is nothing to intrigue a man. And even when you do unexpected things in your opinion, he is not surprised. The advice will be simple. Review your behavior. And in the situation when he expects a scandal, keep silent. Or vice versa, express your opinion.

An example from my own experience.

I'm used to my girlfriend being unhappy with something every day. Every evening she scolded me for my scattered socks, the TV not turned off at night, complained about my snoring and other household trifles.

And then one fine day, returning from work, I found that she was sitting on the couch and reading a book. All evening she spoke quite calmly, but not detachedly, talked about the events of the day and was interested in my affairs.

I was so used to her having evening quarrels that immediately a bunch of questions arose in my head.

First, why the girl changed her anger to mercy.
Secondly, what happens if I ask her directly about it.
And thirdly, how long will her calmness last.

Of course, I was intrigued by the unusual behavior.

What am I all this for no need to come up with complex schemes. To intrigue a man or a guy, you can just change the behavior a little. Accustomed to monotony, a man will immediately feel something is wrong, he will be interested in finding out the cause of the metamorphosis. What if she had nothing to do with him?

And finally, about correspondence with men. To intrigue them in this case, one article is not enough. Therefore, go to the site section: "SMS to your beloved"; and there you will find everything you need to create intrigue, and indeed interest in your person.

I wish you all a good mood!

Today, more and more often, princes are not found in beautiful castles, but on the Internet - social networks and dating sites. Such online relationships attract not only insecure girls, but also just busy women.

If you have a worthy young man in your online contacts, why not take advantage of the situation and try to turn non-committal messaging into something more? The following tips will help you understand how to interest a pen pal.

Suppose, while scrolling through the pages of men on Vkontakte or on a dating site, you notice a photo of a handsome man and decide to start a conversation with him.

In order for correspondence with a guy to bring you only pleasure, it is important to follow a few rules.

Rule number 1. You need to attract the attention of a man

To please a representative of a strong sex in VK, you should not “like” indiscriminately all his photos, music and video files. Just send a friend request, justifying it with something.

For example, you liked his photographs from the last cruise. There are two possible scenarios for the development of the situation:

If you have also visited this place, specify that you want to remember the pleasant moments of your vacation.
If these sights are unfamiliar to you, ask the young man to tell you about them, since you planned to go there.

That is, you attract attention, you are the first to enter into a conversation, and he can already support him or refuse to communicate. Most likely, if you are polite and witty, he will not refuse to accept you as "friends".

Rule #2: Find Common Interests

If you want to please a man when communicating in contact, find out as much as possible about his hobbies, hobbies and habits. You can do this after scrupulously studying his personal page:

in photographs, a guy can capture, for example, fishing, diving, tattoos;
musical preferences are obvious by the presence of tracks on the page;
check the list of groups in which he is a member;
look at his buddies, especially the ones on the "best" list.

Don't consider this espionage, but secrecy is best kept. No one needs to know that you are going to seduce or just like a particular young man by correspondence.

Rule #3

If you have already started a conversation, behave properly. What does this mean? You should not immediately rush to your laptop after waking up to write a grand "hello" and start a long conversation.

Try waiting until the guy texts first. If he is in no hurry to communicate with you in contact, once a day it is allowed to start a conversation on his own initiative. And in general - it is better to look at the situation!

Rule #4

You can and ordinary literacy. This will set you apart from the general mass of girls who make grammatical errors and slang words in correspondence.

Messages like this turn off many young people, so try to write correctly, and if you are not sure of yourself, refer to online resources that correct errors.

Rule #5

Be sure to study your page on Vkontakte, bringing it into a "divine" form.

Read profile information, review photos, videos and audio files. Do they contain "compromising evidence" on you?

Ruthlessly delete all incomprehensible entries, just don’t try to lick your account too much or make it as similar as possible to the male one, since the guy will communicate with a living person with his own preferences.

Rule #6

If you are determined not only to correspond with a man, but also to organize a real meeting, put your own image on the avatar, preferably fresh and not too “photoshopped”.

A young man will simply be disappointed when he sees a completely different young lady on a date than in the photo. Therefore, conduct a conversation on your behalf and face!

How to chat with a man?

When discussing how to interest a man by correspondence and communicate with him correctly, first decide on the ultimate goal of your conversations.

What do you want from a young man: just have a nice conversation in contact, or do you want to seduce a guy? We offer some specific advice.

Be yourself. Wanting to please a guy, some young ladies begin to lie and build themselves into a bitch or a modest one. If you don't want to stop at socializing in contact, behave naturally. Deception will be revealed sooner or later, and the relationship may end.
Be polite. Good manners and politeness are always in fashion. Say hello and goodbye, do not be afraid to thank once again for a compliment or advice. Of course, one should exclude boorish or vulgar words and, moreover, mate. You can hook a man with your intelligence.
Joke more often. A sense of humor immensely adorns girls. If a young lady knows how to joke, make laugh and understand the jokes and jokes addressed to her, a conversation with her gives the guy only pleasure.
Avoid harsh flattery. Rude flattery and sugary phrases are not the best way to please a young man. Sincere compliments, on the other hand, are welcome. For example, pay attention to his muscular figure, the ability to understand computer "insides".
Don't impose. We repeat once again - do not bombard the guy with messages on VK if he suddenly stops responding. He is probably busy, away from the computer, taking a break from communicating on the Internet, or simply cannot find a topic for conversation. In the latter case, ask him a neutral question that allows him to continue the conversation.
. You need to be interested in a man, but you should not delve into his personal life. At the initial stage, avoid questions about his ex-girlfriends. Then, when you begin to communicate more closely or move to a serious level of relationship, you can return to this moment.
Avoid intimate topics. An overly frank conversation with a stranger is not the best option for starting an acquaintance in contact, unless you are discussing the question of how to get a guy and have a quick sleep with him. If the conversation takes on a sexual connotation, gently hint that you still know each other too little, but in the future ...
Be positive. The conversation should be predominantly positive. Do not complain about your difficulties in life, the only exception is if the guy talks about his problem, and you want to support him by saying that you are in a similar situation. However, it is better to give up despondency and not bother the man with your troubles.

For now, content yourself with general questions. Examples of topics are literature, travel, cinema, hobbies, close relatives, funny and unusual stories from the past.

The main signal that helps determine whether you managed to please a young man and attract his attention is the willingness to communicate with you on VK and other social networks. You are more likely to please your interlocutor if he:

Another indicator is how willingly the guy shares secrets with you or just things that are important to him. This can be tested by asking him a few questions about how he spent the day, what interesting things happened at work or at the university.

True, if a man is tired or simply not in the mood, it is better to postpone such questions so as not to provoke irritation.

Having decided how to start a correspondence with a guy, you need to find out the signs that communication with him is becoming unproductive, uninteresting and inconvenient.

It is best not to impose, but to end the conversation in time so that both parties have only the best memories.

It is quite possible that, having become bored, after a while the young man himself will take the initiative and write first.

The recommendations above on how to get a pen pal interested are only rough tips. You yourself can evaluate how pleasant the interlocutor in contact is to you and how to behave with him in certain situations.

A man from a social network offers to meet in real life? Agree if you are confident in the possibility of taking the relationship to a more serious level. After all, it was for this that you tried to please a young man, wasn't it?

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on raising children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.