When is it time for a girl to get married? Marriage. Do modern girls need to get married?

“I am young, beautiful, successful, I provide for myself, and well. I have a lot of hobbies, a nice apartment and an expensive car. I'm also great in bed. But I can't find the man. Normal men came out…”

Texts of similar content appear on social networks with enviable regularity. They are really true: a great many beautiful and successful girls cannot get married. Why this happens, and whether something can be changed in this sad situation, we were told by psychologist and sexologist Oleg Shevchenko.

It only at first glance seems paradoxical - that a woman, seemingly woven from merit alone, remains lonely. In fact, there are explanations for this,” Shevchenko says. - What girls consider their strengths are actually their weaknesses. I'll list five of the main ones - I'm sure the "successful losers" will see that all of these points apply to almost every one of them.

1. A good job, a high position, a big salary - all these signs of a successful woman in the eyes of men are not at all attractive in relation to the one they want to see as their future wife. Of course, gigolos do not count - but none of the girls are looking for them. A successful career speaks of such character traits as rigidity, self-confidence, and high activity. Believe me - overly active women scare away men.

2. The same successful girls love to talk about being sex goddesses. It is unlikely that such a statement will attract a member of the opposite sex. Firstly, because the knowledge of the great bed experience of the chosen one acts like a cold shower. Secondly, there is a fear of not being a “god” yourself - next to a goddess!

3. A woman pays a lot of attention to her appearance, often visits beauticians, hairdressers, uses silicone in different parts of her body, etc., etc. For most men, touching such a woman is scary. They are subconsciously afraid of damaging such artificially created beauty, they cannot relax and feel natural.

4. Most of the girls of the type we are considering are very demanding of their partners. Still - if a woman considers herself perfect, then the man next to her should be appropriate. But criticism is always bad for relationships. Even if a man is able to meet all the requirements of a lady, the very fact of having these requirements kills love.

5. Does the girl go to courses of three foreign languages, is fond of rock climbing, dances salsa and rumba? But who told you that all this is her dignity? A man needs a beloved woman who will be next to him, and not rush around courses and trainings. Family life is not a quest!

Every girl at some point in her life has a desire to get married. they say that you can determine whether this most important event will happen in a woman’s life if you find out what she thinks about men and how she imagines. We will not get carried away with psychological methods and techniques, but with the help of tests, fortune-telling and other methods, we will try to answer the cherished question of all girls: "How to find out when I will get married?" The practical advice given here will be of interest to all unmarried beauties interested in imminent marriage.

Test

Let's start with the simplest method. This test will help determine how deep the girl's feelings are and whether she is ready to become a wife. Each question can be answered either “yes” (2 points), “not sure” (1 point), or “no” (0 points).

1. Do you rejoice at the thought that you will spend your whole life with your chosen one?

2. Can you forgive him for cheating?

3. Do you consider it right to consult with him when choosing your clothes?

4. Will the prospect of spending the evening with his parents please you?

5. Can you forgive your loved one if he promised to call you and didn't?

6. If you have offended him, will you be the first to approach him and ask for his forgiveness?

7. Would you turn down a date with your ex-boyfriend if he asked you out?

8. Do you consider your chosen one the best of all your men?

9. Is your partner close to you in terms of attitude?

10. Are you ready to change something in yourself to stay with him?

11. Does the chosen one occupy one of the main places in your life?

12. Do you often try to please your loved one?

The “When I get married” test has been passed, and now we are counting the points scored.

Less than 6 - you will not marry your chosen one, you do not need to deceive yourself and him.

From 7 to 18 - you are definitely in love, but your chances of getting married with this person are 50/50, this event is unlikely to happen soon.

More than 19 - your feelings are deep, it may very well be that they will be crowned with a successful marriage, and this will happen in the near future.

Zodiac signs compatibility

There are people who are skeptical about horoscopes. But still, most people trust them. The girl who wonders, "How do I know when I'm getting married?" - must first find out which zodiac signs suit her in terms of family compatibility. "+" here means a successful marriage, and "-" - unsuccessful. Compatibility Horoscope:

Aries: "+" with Leo, Sagittarius, "-" with Virgo, Pisces.

Taurus: "+" with Virgo, Capricorn, "-" with Gemini, Aquarius.

Gemini: "+" with Libra, Aquarius, "-" with Taurus, Virgo, Pisces.

Cancer: "+" with Scorpio, Pisces, "-" with Aries, Aquarius.

Leo: "+" with Aries, Sagittarius, "-" with Taurus, Cancer, Pisces.

Virgo: "+" with Taurus, Capricorn, "-" with Aries, Gemini.

Libra: "+" with Gemini, Aquarius, "-" with Cancer, Virgo.

Scorpio: "+" with Cancer, Pisces, "-" with Sagittarius, Aquarius.

Sagittarius: "+" with Aries, Leo, "-" with Virgo, Taurus, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces.

Capricorn: "+" with Taurus, Virgo, "-" with Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius.

Aquarius: "+" with Gemini, with Libra, "-" with Taurus, with Cancer, with Scorpio, with Capricorn, with Pisces.

Pisces: "+" with Cancer, Scorpio, "-" with Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius.

What can numerology tell us?

Do you believe in fate? Do you think your life is ruled by numbers? Then the science of numerology will help you answer the cherished question. "When I get married?" - the girl thinks when a worthy man appears on her horizon. And in order for the marriage to be happy, you need to guess with For this, you need to add up all the numbers of days, months and years of birth of the future newlyweds as follows. For example:

Date of birth of the bride: 11/09/1985 = 0+9+1+1+1+9+8+5=34=3+4=7.

Groom's date of birth: 02/26/1986 = 2+6+0+2+1+9+8+6=34=3+4=7.

Now let's sum them up: 7 + 7 = 14. It is this number that will be the ideal wedding date.

The girl had a question: on the cards she will give the correct answer

If you are sitting in the company of young people and girls, you can try to find out which of you will be the first to marry and get married. To do this, you need a new deck of cards that have not yet been played. A married woman must certainly mix and distribute them to all participants in fortune-telling. How to find out if you will get married in the near future using a card? The girl who got the king of hearts can rejoice. She will become the very first bride in the company. And soon a man will marry who has a lady of the same suit.

Hair through the ring

Now let's turn to the methods of our grandmothers. Thinking about the question: "When will I get married?" Fortune telling will help you find out the answer to it. To do this, you will need one long hair from your head and a wedding ring. The method is simple but proven. We just pass the hair through the ring. And then lower the jewel carefully into a glass of water. If the ring, touching the liquid, pumps, then there will be an imminent wedding, if not, there is no need to build vain hopes.

Divination by candlelight

Another one of these tricks that can help a girl who asks: "When will I get married?" - This will require a mirror and two candles (preferably small, church ones). Put a mirror on the table. In front of him are two candles in plates. One on the right, the other on the left. Guess which of the candles will be you, and which one will be your chosen one. Now set them on fire. If the flame burns evenly on both candles, this is the main sign of an imminent wedding. If "you" melt faster, then the dreams of marriage are only on your part. The candle of the “betrothed” burned out faster - expect a quick marriage proposal from him.

Folk omens

Superstitious girls who ask themselves the question: "How do I know when I'm getting married?" - we can recommend to turn to the wisdom of our ancestors. They say that folk omens often come true. Here are some of them:

If you were poured with wine or champagne at someone else's wedding, then soon you yourself will become a bride. And the marriage will be very happy.

Try on someone else's wedding dress? There is a risk of never becoming a bride.

If you caught a bride's bouquet at a friend's wedding, then expect a marriage proposal from your chosen one.

Do you often sit on the windowsill or on the corner of the table during a meal? You risk being an old maid.

At someone else's wedding, try to dance with the groom. This is a happy omen. She guarantees a quick marriage.

A witness at someone else's wedding can be sure that soon she herself will go down the aisle.

What can you see in a dream?

It is believed that during dreams our soul travels in parallel worlds. They contain information about the past, present and future of each person. It just needs to be decoded correctly. But how do you know when you get married with the help of dreams? You just need to remember what you have seen in night visions lately. If these were beautiful mountains, lakes, verdant fields, children, flowers, full glasses with something, the moon in the sky, silver, beautiful organ music was heard, then you can count on marriage within a year.

Giant birds, various animals, fish, the dazzling sun, magnified glass, paper are dreams of those girls who are not expecting an early wedding. But there is no need to be upset, this important event will happen within the next five years. But bells, storms, soldiers and gold, as a rule, are dreams of old maids. But still, do not be upset if you dreamed of something unpleasant. It's just a dream. And thoughts should be positive. Then positive changes in life will not keep you waiting.

Girls think: "How do I know when I'm getting married?" You can turn to astrology and divination. And the best thing is not to think, but to act. After all, somewhere there is a young man who dreams of finding someone like you.

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 11 minutes

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A traditional girl's dream is a diamond ring, a wedding dress and, of course, the long-awaited prince himself. And, having received a marriage proposal, every girl asks herself the question - what is the best thing to do? Postpone the wedding and wait until the feelings are tested by time? Or should I immediately agree before the prince changes his mind? According to psychologists, it is equally wrong to immediately rush into the wedding pool with your head and pull indefinitely. has its pros and cons at any age.

According to the law, yesterday's schoolgirl in our country can easily put on a veil. True, you still have to ask your parents for permission. Having barely received a passport, the young "bride" may well jump out to get married under such a circumstance as pregnancy. But the main question remains - will such an early marriage bring happiness, or will passion die out at the first domestic problems?

The most common reasons for getting married at 16

Unexpected pregnancy.
Negative family environment.
Excessive care and control of parents.
Irresistible craving for independence.

Benefits of getting married at 16

New status and level of relationship.
Mental flexibility. The ability to adapt to the character of her husband.
A young mother will retain her external attractiveness even by the time the child graduates from school.

Disadvantages of marriage at 16

Married at 18

At this age, in contrast to the age of sixteen, you no longer need permission from the guardianship authorities and parents for your personal happiness. And it is quite possible to meet a man in whose life there is neither an ex-wife, nor children from his first marriage, nor maintenance obligations. But many of the pros and cons of getting married at 16 apply to that age as well.

Benefits of getting married at 18

Blooming youth, which (as a rule) excludes the walking of the strong half "to the left."
The opportunity to remain a “young” mother already with a very adult child.
The decision to marry can be made independently.

Disadvantages of marriage at 18

Love at this age is often confused with a riot of hormones, as a result of which the chances of becoming an ex-wife increase many times over.
Maternal instincts are present in every woman, but at this age they have not yet fully woken up so that the mother can give herself completely to the child.
Such abrupt changes, such as the inability to "walk with girlfriends", wave to a club or salon, often become the causes of nervous breakdowns. In marriage, you have to devote yourself entirely to the family, which, alas, not every girl comes to at this age.

Bride at 23-27 years old

This age, according to psychologists, is ideal for marriage. Already after studying at the university, with a diploma in hand, you can find a good job, a woman already knows a lot, knows and understands what she wants from life.

Advantages of marriage at 23-27 years old

The female body is already fully prepared for carrying a baby and childbirth.
The “wind in the head” subsides, and the girl begins to think more soberly.
Actions become balanced and dictated not only by emotions, but also by logic.

Disadvantages of marriage at 23-27 years old

Conflict of Interest Risk (one of the couple has not yet outgrown "nightclubs", and the other is concerned about the family budget and possible prospects).
Approaching the age when pregnancy can become problematic.

According to statistics and the opinion of psychologists, marriages that are concluded at this age, for the most part, are dictated not by love, but by sober calculation. In such marriages, everything is adjusted to the smallest detail, from the family budget to the removal of the trash can. Rather, such marriage is like a business contract , although its strength cannot be denied - even in the absence of the “passions of youth”, marriages at this age are very strong. Precisely because of the balanced decision.
In conclusion, we can repeat one well-known truth - "All ages are submissive to love." Sincere mutual love knows no obstacles, and a love boat, subject to trust, respect and mutual understanding, simply cannot break into everyday life, no matter at what age Mendelssohn's march plays.

Top reasons to get married

Everyone wants to get married. Even those who prove otherwise. But someone comes out later, someone earlier, depending on the expectations in life. Everyone has for marriage their motives and reasons :

All the girlfriends are already married.
Conscious desire to have a child.
Strong feelings for the gentleman.
Desire to live separately from parents.
An acute lack of male care for a girl who grew up without a father.
Prosperity of a man.
The cherished status of a "married lady".
Parents' insistence on marriage.

Surprisingly, reasons for not getting married modern girls also have:

Unwillingness to do household chores (cooking, washing, etc.)
Independence and freedom, the loss of which seems like a catastrophe.
Fear of pregnancy and loss of harmony.
Uncertainty in feelings.
The desire to live exclusively for yourself.
Reluctance to change surname.
Life position - "free love".

Good afternoon, dear ladies! How often do we ask questions about the men who are next to us. Is he right for me, will we get married, what lies ahead for us, how to build a healthy and strong relationship, and so on. A wedding is a pretty big step. How do you know if you should get married?

A new step in the development of relations

Let's talk a little about the history of the word marry and what it means. It is logical that this word comes from the phrase for the husband, for the husband. Thus, the girl becomes part of the husband's family, she comes to his family.

Since ancient times, there has been a tradition of redemption: you have a merchant, we have goods. A man takes a woman under his wing, under his protection, under his guardianship.

To date, there has been a fairly strong transformation of the concept of marriage. Today marriage is just an agreement between two people to legitimize their relationship. For love, because of pregnancy, by calculation, for one's own benefit, because of the financial condition of one of the partners, and so on.

Situations are different. I can't say I don't like girls who marry a man for his money. Maybe she loves this person. Or perhaps there is only a cold calculation.

I hope you are all in love. You have found the one and only with whom you want to link your fate. Love is one of the most beautiful feelings a person can experience.

But many forget that love must be maintained. That this is not a feeling that lives on its own. He is nurtured, cared for, monitored and fed.

Imagine that love is a ginura, a houseplant. This whimsical plant is very sensitive to room temperature, requires special lighting and does not lend itself to tricks to accelerate growth.

That's how love is. She needs special, scrupulous and careful care. If you abandon your love and leave it to fate, it will dry up. And if you take care of it, it will bloom and delight you with its healthy and magnificent appearance.

I suggest you read the article "". You will be able to understand how men and women interact with each other, what relationships they build, decide on your position in your couple.

How to determine if the game is worth the candle

Unfortunately or fortunately, there is no such test that will tell you the right time for a wedding. Only you can know when the time is right. Many couples really need to live together before deciding on a new step. Others run to the registry office after a couple of months of dating.

I have two familiar couples. Some lived together for almost ten years. Sometimes they quarreled, sometimes soul to soul. But in the end, they still parted, never getting married. And the second pair, on the contrary. They got married four months after they met. They live and can not get enough of each other.

Only your inner flair and intuition will help you determine the right time for a wedding. Together with your faithful, you must come to such a decision together.

It is impossible to force a person to do something against his will. How often do we hear stories about how a girl dragged a guy to the registry office. Such relationships will not last long. Sooner or later, he will run away from her anyway, because the wedding was not his conscious decision.

Do not chase the stamp in the passport. It is much more important to find a common language with a partner and decide to get married together.

Ask yourself what is more important to me: a wedding or a relationship with a person. Some couples live happily all their lives without tying the knot. And it does not prevent them from being satisfied with their lives.

Nothing is impossible

Another very important point. Many young ladies consider themselves unworthy, they think that they will never find the happiness of a married woman.

First, stop focusing on the wedding itself.

Second, believe in yourself and love yourself.

You can get married a second time, and a third, and with a child, and with two. It all depends on your perspective on the situation. If you are sure that you will find a suitable and worthy man, then doubts and self-doubt will not gnaw at you.

One of my clients suffered for a long time after a difficult divorce. We slowly moved forward. With each session, she became a little freer and calmer. But in the depths of her soul she had a splinter "I will never marry again." But one day, with sparkling eyes, she told about a man whom she met at an exhibition at work. Today they have been happily married for two years and are raising a little son.

In order for you to finally dispel all your fears and doubts, read the article "". You will understand that nothing is impossible, everything is in your hands. You deserve happiness and love. Be open and good-natured, then happiness itself will stick to you.

What you need to be ready for

In a relationship, everything is not always simple, easy and understandable. When people begin to live together, they learn to jointly manage the budget, make decisions that may not suit one of the partners, learn to negotiate and seek compromises, then they are engaged in raising children, and so on.

I would like to give you some useful and practical advice. In order to make family disputes easier to resolve, learn to hear your faithful.

It often happens that at the moment of a quarrel, partners do not hear each other at all, but simply try to express their position with a cry. Relax, discard all negative emotions and just listen to what your loved one says.

Another important point is to be able to talk without raising your tone. Emotions often get in the way of intelligent decision making. The calmer you are, the more logical, healthy and correct decisions you will find. Yelling only gets in the way, to be honest.

Understand that you will not change your man. He is what he is. You can only help him get better. When you change yourself, then the man will follow you. Always start change with yourself.

If you have a problem in a relationship, then first of all think about yourself, and do not blame your partner. Start with what you are doing wrong and what you can change. This will be much more efficient and productive.

And work on your love. Don't throw it away and don't let it dry out. Remember that for mutual happiness, you need to make an effort. Relationships don’t work just like that, they require your indispensable participation.
I strongly advise you to familiarize yourself with one of my works: "".

Be happy!

The question that every girl asks herself when she enters a steep path. Childhood is left behind, each person in a situation of making fundamental decisions for himself is left alone with his fate. The choice of a life partner for people is an exciting and disturbing milestone in life. Therefore, it is not surprising that fears, doubts and long reflections arise along the way.

The main thing to understand: doubts are a normal phenomenon of a person’s inner life, but not when. If the question arises whether it is worth getting married, if there is any doubt, then this in itself is a bad sign.

One day a student came to Socrates and asked:
- Socrates, you are wise, tell me, should I marry or not?
- Don't get married!
Why don't you know her at all?
But you are asking.

The cunning Socratic wisdom says: true feelings do not need confirmation from the outside. After all, a person does not ask if he is hungry or if he is thirsty? If a person is not sick and is responsible for his actions, then he can sort himself out.

Consider the general cases when the answer to the question of whether to get married, if in doubt, is negative.

Doubt about wanting to get married. At this point, examples find shelter when people hesitate to go to the registry office in principle. They do not feel the inner strength to complete one stage of their lives and begin another. The reason is banal: the fear of the irreversibility of life, which appears here as the impossibility of choosing other sexual partners. Or the unwillingness to go further in relations with a person cannot be explained rationally, but intuition whispers something vague and obscure to a woman.
There is external pressure. Marriage is wanted by others, but the girl herself does not have 100% confidence in the correctness of the choice.
Unfinished disputes. In each couple, there were stories that ended in mid-sentence, it is better to finish and say them before the wedding. This is not about taste preferences, but about. A hackneyed, but not losing its relevance truth: it is necessary to negotiate on the shore.
Treason. It is impossible, and even more so, to marry someone who has already betrayed once and pursued momentary pleasures. If a man has, and that only woman appears in them, then he will not do that.
Passion and mystical love ecstasy is power. People miss the crushing emotions when they get older. Nevertheless, this is not a reason to run away from the registry office with all possible agility, obeying love. A slightly cooled mature feeling in marriage is placed at the basis of marriage - this is a weak link.
Last on the list, but most importantly, a girl should not accept the offer of someone she still hopes to "correct" and change. People do not change, as life teaches and Dr. House.

After analyzing the general cases, when the question arises, is it worth getting married, if there is any doubt, let's move on to specific problems.

Is it worth getting married without love?

This question torments girls when they are over thirty,. In defense of a marriage of convenience, only an argument of this kind comes out: if married life is built on principles, then it is strong as a rock. The logic is simple: after all, a person does not want to lose on his own initiative, where he is satisfied with working conditions and wages, with a marriage that is comparable to a financial agreement, the story is the same.

Disadvantages of this type of relationship for a woman:

aesthetic compromise. The girl does not like either the external or spiritual appearance of a potential husband, but she hopes that material wealth will overcome physical disgust. Expectations are not justified.
"Whoever pays orders the music." A woman in such a marriage is vulnerable, so whether she likes it or not, she obeys the whims and desires of her husband.

The question of whether to marry without love does not always involve a sad and disappointing answer. Some couples live like this and are happy, but love has nothing to do with it.

Should a girl marry? Express test

The technique is simple, like all ingenious. A young woman checks herself on 8 points (the first 3 with the answer “yes” and the remaining 5 with the answer “no”):

Is love mutual?
Is there a sense of kinship of souls? In a mundane form, the wording means: the presence of common values \u200b\u200band material and spiritual goals.
Does a girl like a man as a person. Does interest in a guy go out when sexual desire is withdrawn from a relationship?
The girl is getting married?
Is it only status that attracts a girl in marriage?
Does a woman put calculation in the basis of a relationship?
Is quality sex the only reason for marriage?
A girl forces a man to marry because of a "sudden" pregnancy?

Each person, having answered these simple questions, will understand the girl if she is not sure.

Should you get married at 18?

It is difficult to name the positive aspects of early marriage, except that the children are already adults, and the parents are not yet old. But in this sense, the game is not worth the candle. Young families suffer colossal problems associated with the shortcomings of such a marriage:

Financial independency. Young families are on the balance sheet of their parents.
Personal incompatibility. When the heat of falling in love fades, people find that they are completely unsuitable for each other.
There is no abundance. The appearance of a family affects the quality of education that people receive, which leads to the inability to get a well-paid job.
Early marriages, according to statistics, break up in 50% of cases, leaving behind broken destinies and unhappy children.

The numbers are inexorable, and life is indifferent to a person, but at the age of 18, the girl decides for herself.

Should you marry a peer?

A topic related to the previous paragraph, but there are subtleties. Same-year-olds meet and marry not only at 18, but also at 22 or 24. A man at 22-24 rarely stands confidently on his feet and cannot offer his chosen one a full package of services: an apartment, a car, social status.

People today do not know how and do not want to wait. Women have a harder time than men, because they feel the pressure of biological time on their lives. Therefore, the question arises, is it worth marrying a peer who has nothing? Worries and anxieties are understandable, justified and require explanation. The disadvantages of such a union partly overlap with those that were discussed a little higher, but the marriage in question also has advantages:

If people start from the same positions, then they are equal. Spouses are held together only by love, not by profit.
Tests test, temper and strengthen.
A reverent and tender attitude towards each other, not a consumerist one.

Should you marry a foreigner?

Life in Russia is far from ideal, because people are looking for where they feel better. In their search for not only domestic, but life comforts, they cross borders and fly across the ocean. Women take risks and, marrying a foreigner, play "Russian roulette". The worst expectations are:

Lifestyle doesn't work.
The husband will turn out to be a despot who will use the subordinate position of his wife, because he is a “citizen”, and she is an “immigrant”.
Problems with employment in a foreign country due to official status.

And despite the “against” arguments, history has recorded examples when men and women left their homeland and found a home in a foreign country. Fears were not justified, but people were lucky.

Moving to another country is not only a decision of the heart, but also of the mind. Some people are lucky and the two lines of human life coincide: the heart is drawn to what the mind approves. The latter should help to get acquainted with the culture of the place where the person is going, in order to exclude the possibility of psychological trauma - culture shock.

However, to give an answer to the question, is it worth it to marry a foreigner, it should be only when all the pros and cons are taken into account and carefully analyzed.