My child became nervous and naughty. What to do? What to do if children do not obey - parents' mistakes and ways to correct the behavior of a naughty child

The expressions "obedient child" and "good child" are often used interchangeably by many. But in vain, especially since, alas, only not quite healthy children are absolutely obedient. Although no one argues that a child who obeys from the first word (or even better if he immediately reacts to an adult's displeasedly raised eyebrow) is very convenient. But is such “silkness” good for children? Hardly.

Undoubtedly, there are situations when parents without further ado. There should be few of them, 2-3, and it would be nice if a child from 3-4 years old clearly understands where and how he is obliged to obey immediately. These are first of all things related to the safety of life.

• you can’t play near the roadway and even more so run out onto it,
• you can’t go for a walk in golfs and sandals in winter, etc.
• You can't take medicine without permission.

Parents should explain their strictness in observing these rules calmly and intelligibly.

Advice! Play the situation with toys or in drawings so that the child learns better that the parents set the mandatory rules not out of harm, but for his good. In general, thoughtful, caring and loving parents should know the reasons for the disobedience of their kids.

5 Reasons Your Child Is Disobedient

1. Fight for the attention of older family members. By his disobedience, the child wants to get more of their attention, which is so necessary for him for normal development and well-being. After all, it is precisely because of his “blows” that the elders (and, first of all, parents) break away from their affairs every now and then, remembering his existence ...

What to do? In this situation, for adults, the main thing is to restrain the emerging irritation, and even more so anger. And, of course, if there is clearly a struggle for attention, elders should begin to give such a child "positive attention", that is, attention that is not associated with a reaction to bad behavior. How? Best of all, coming up with some joint activities, games, recovering with a child for a walk in the park, in the yard, on the playground ...

2. The desire of the child to assert himself. So children protest against excessive parental care. It is especially difficult for them when adults communicate with them mainly in the form of remarks, instructions, and even more so threats. And many of them begin to rebel against this "style of communication", responding with stubbornness, defiant actions. Such behavior of the child is determined by his desire and desire to defend the right to decide his own affairs, to show that he is a person.

What to do? In such cases, parents need to pay attention to their own feelings and their behavior. And if the source of the child’s disobedience is his struggle for self-affirmation, then, on the contrary, you should reduce your involvement in the child’s affairs, giving him the opportunity to at least somehow accumulate the experience of his own decisions and even failures (of course, this applies more to children already over the age of 2 years). And if the child is not yet able to cope with something on his own, you can’t criticize and scold him - it’s better to find any reason to praise him, to celebrate even his smallest success. At the same time, you should tactfully, carefully secure it, eliminating serious failures.

3. Desire for revenge. For example, a naughty child wants to take revenge for the fact that one of the parents or elders offended him with a harsh remark or unfair punishment. The deep meaning of his bad behavior is: “You did me bad, let it be bad for you too!”

What to do? In these cases, you should change your attitude towards the child, become more tolerant, more affectionate, in no case taking out your irritation on him. It is necessary to find interesting (best of all joint) activities in order to switch his attention from the psychotraumatic situation that has arisen.

4. Loss of faith in yourself, in your own success. This reason for disobedience is most often manifested in older children (after 3 years). Constant criticism of them for mistakes and failures leads to the fact that children lose self-confidence, they begin to develop low self-esteem. And therefore, instead of “correcting”, showing that they are “suitable for something”, such children give up and begin to show with all their behavior that they do not care what their elders think of them.

What to do? In such cases, parents need to show special patience and wisdom in order to rebuild the child’s attitude towards himself and breathe into him faith in his own strengths and capabilities, without resorting to tantrums, offending prodding, and even more so to physical punishment. It is necessary to place him in a situation of success, that is, let him manifest himself in the business that he has always done well (for example, building from Lego, weaving from rubber bands, drawing on asphalt, etc.). And then the baby will calm down internally.

5. Syndrome of hyperactivity. This is a neurological-behavioral developmental disorder, not just "bad behavior". A child who is naturally overactive cannot concentrate on anything (due to a lack of attention), he is often impulsive, his mood often fluctuates, he is in constant motion, and finally exhausted, he begins to cry and "hysteria". It is very difficult to put him to sleep, and if he sleeps, then restlessly, in fits and starts. Such a child is usually simply uncontrollable, he does not respond to restrictions or prohibitions, and behaves this way in any conditions (at home, in kindergarten, on the playground, in a store, in a clinic). He often provokes conflicts without controlling his aggressiveness, pushes, bites, fights, using any improvised means (stones, sticks, toys, bottles ...). "Hyperactive" is easy enough to identify by the way he talks a lot and quickly, swallowing words, not listening, interrupting, asking a lot of questions and rarely listening to answers.

What to do? These children need specialized help. Even the most caring and patient parents will not be able to cope with the manifestations of such a disorder. So it is advisable not to turn a blind eye to the obvious signs of hyperactivity syndrome, so as not to start the situation later.

On the Benefits of Disobeying a Child

Disobedience is inherent in most children who gradually enter the world of adults "by trial and error." Yes, this is a burden to a considerable number of parents; Yes, many people dream of having "perfectly obedient" children. It’s just that “too correct” kids, being afraid or not being able to express negative emotions, accumulate them in themselves, and this can lead to various diseases (not only nervous ones). In addition, let's not forget about the dangers of the surrounding world. Let's say a kid who is used to meekly obeying his elders is more likely to get into trouble (answer a stranger, get into a car, go "watch a cat or a rabbit", etc.). Whereas a child who has the experience of abandoning his desires, being critical of adults, can avoid such a misfortune. In general, measure is important in everything, including obedience.

Smart and caring parents should remember that even a small child is a person, which means that he has the right to:

• Say (at least sometimes) "NO".
• Make mistakes.
• Not being able or not wanting to do something.
• To be different from you or other children.
• Show negative emotions.

A naughty child is often perceived by parents as a real punishment. Adults are often simply lost and cannot figure out what to do when a child does not obey. Gradually, the baby not only does not fulfill the requirements of the parents, but begins to openly snap, be rude, and be rude. If the situation has reached this point, it will be very difficult to explain or explain to a rebellious child what to do in response to the demands of adult family members. In order not to bring the intensity of family emotions to the level where outright rudeness comes into force, you need to carefully analyze why the child does not obey. At the same time, it is very important to understand that the person obliged to conduct such an analysis is not a child or teenager. It is the parents who are responsible for getting out of any crisis situations.

So, what to do if the child is nervous and naughty? The first task is to understand the reasons for such impartial behavior. Modern psychology has formulated the main factors that cause child disobedience. In fact, if children do not obey their parents, then in. Is it difficult to overcome it and how to deal with a naughty child? The main problem is that it is very difficult for adults to change their habits and lifestyle. And this very often has to be done, struggling with circumstances due to which the child does not obey mom or dad. What factors, causes and methods of intra-family interaction most often lead to the fact that the child is rude and does not obey his parents?

Often adults do not pay attention at all to how they themselves behave towards the baby or in his society. But many reasons for children's disobedience are rooted in the fact that the child, forming as a person, is largely oriented and inherits the main patterns of behavior of his parents. If one spouse ignores most of the comments or suggestions of the other, then the little person has an inner feeling that it is normal to do this. He also ceases to respond to the well-founded demands of adults and does not obey at all even in situations where parents behave very correctly. Thus, the first group of factors of child disobedience can be called the causes associated with a lack of attention.

Disobedience due to attention deficit and family misunderstanding

Initially, it should be emphasized that it is really difficult for modern parents to cope with a lot of work, social, household and other duties, while remaining attentive to their baby. It is very difficult to set aside at least a few hours a day for regular communication with children. But this is not an excuse. If adults do not communicate with a baby or teenager, do not ask him about personal problems, sorrows or joys, do not participate in his games, entertainment and education, then you should not be surprised when he completely ceases to obey parental requirements.

Often adults exclaim in despair: how to teach a child to listen and hear his parents? But, as modern psychology convincingly proves, adults should start listening and hearing from the very beginning. Constant attention to the problems of even a small child forms an atmosphere of mutual understanding in the family, which is the best means of educating obedience. Listening to the baby, adults form in him the habit of listening to the opinion of another person. If, on the other hand, you constantly brush aside, referring to the heavy workload of work or domestic problems, then you should not be surprised when a child begins to brush aside the demands of adults in the same way.

And finally, when accustoming a child to obedience, it is important to show by example the ability to obey the reasonable demands of another person. Parents should pay special attention to the relationship between themselves, because their behavior is the model by which the child's personality is formed. If the mother comes up to the father and asks to take out the garbage, and he brushes it off and says that he will do it sometime later, such an answer will be an excellent example for the further behavior of the little son. But such situations unconsciously occur in most families. People simply do not pay attention to the fact that these cases have a strong educational effect.

Causes related to grievances and conflicts

In the formation of character, grievances and conflict situations that arise in a person in childhood play a very important role. If the child does not obey, perhaps he is on some act of the father or mother, which they have completely forgotten about. Such resentment may even be subconscious in nature, but it regularly manifests itself in one or another childish act. or just crying. This is already an occasion to think about whether they feel some kind of hidden resentment. It is often difficult for adults to understand and remember how they could offend their baby.

It is important here to keep track of who the child obeys, and to whom he treats. Often naughty children become naughty because of jealousy. For example, a younger sister was born in the family. The eldest son, noticing the tenderness with which the father treats the newborn, may become jealous, because of which he begins to behave badly, expressing his dissatisfaction with the father in every possible way. In such situations, parents should behave as correctly as possible, especially if the eldest child is between the ages of 3 and 6, when all emotions are as acute as possible.

Finally, adults are required to pay special attention to how to behave towards each other. Any conflicts between parents or even hidden hostility necessarily affect the behavior of children. Conflict situations that arise between adults are one of the most important and most common reasons why children become naughty. If, however, it will be very difficult to independently teach or force the child to obey his parents. Here you may need the help of a professional psychologist specializing in family and childhood problems.

Status reasons

Adults often decide that children should obey automatically, because of their status and position in the family. At the same time, fathers and mothers themselves often enter into a relationship of dominance and subordination. If the baby constantly sees, understands or simply feels that, for example, the father is rude or self-willed towards the mother, and she unquestioningly obeys, then a stereotype may be deposited in the mind of the child: someone must obey, and someone must not . At the same time, it is very difficult to foresee which line the child himself will choose. He can become passive and fearful, or he can behave aggressively and seek to command other people.

In addition, children are very sensitive to the social status of their parents. For example, if a father is constantly insulted or mercilessly exploited at work, and at home his wife reproaches him with this, then it will be difficult for a child to respect his father, even if he has tender feelings for him. Adults should never insult each other in the presence of children. Mutual disrespect and humiliation often leads to the fact that the child, simply out of a sense of injustice, expresses his protest and refuses to listen to his parents. This behavior is especially relevant in .

Finally, the child is very sensitive to how parents relate to his own social successes and failures. If a father or mother constantly reproaches a student for not studying well, expressing claims to a teenager that he communicates with the wrong friends, then one should definitely expect confrontation and conflict. By asserting himself, the child will not explain to his parents that they are wrong, but will simply become more aggressive in revealing his own disobedience. If they really want to understand how to deal with disobedience, it is important above all to avoid insults, humiliation and aggressive orders. Stopping and thinking about their own behavior, an adult should understand that the order can be easily replaced by a confidential conversation in which you can express your point of view on a particular problem.

Methods of dealing with child disobedience

A naughty child can cause a lot of trouble, but parents must understand that it is their responsibility to raise their baby. At the same time, any educational measures should be carried out consciously and systematically. Often they think that one confidential conversation with a son or daughter can solve all problems. This is wrong. But how do you teach a child to obey?

It is important from an early age to systematically and persistently perform certain actions, among which the basic ones are:

• Soft accustoming to parental requirements. As soon as the child has certain preferences, they need to be used for educational purposes. For example, if he loves apples, after washing and peeling this fruit, you need to say in a slightly imperative manner: “Please eat an apple!” The kid will gladly fulfill the requirement of an adult. This combination of pleasure and obedience is the best educational tool, which, moreover, is quite easy to implement with constant regularity.
• Confidential conversation with reasonable argumentation. Do not think that it makes no sense to talk about serious things with a child aged 3-5 years. Yes, he, most likely, will not understand everything that has been said, but he will definitely feel his own importance in relations with older family members. This fosters a sense of responsibility, thereby increasing obedience.
• Strict suppression of whims and unacceptable behavior. Many parents simply do not know how to respond to disobedience, and therefore allow their beloved child literally anything. In no case should you make concessions if you are trying to achieve your goal with the help of hysteria. This is the way to new horizons of disobedience. Here, care for the child should be manifested in the strict suppression of any unacceptable behavior.
• Trust, autonomy and personal responsibility. When a child reaches a certain age, he should be given some family responsibilities. Parents can show their trust by sending the child to the store for bread or by trusting him to vacuum the apartment. To prevent such duties from becoming an unpleasant routine, it is important to constantly praise the child, expressing your deep gratitude.

Any advice on raising children is only useful if you use it regularly and systematically. Only by showing the child your discipline and reasonableness, you can achieve obedience from him.

Once the famous satirist Zhvanetsky in his miniature argued that a lot of human experiences are due to the fact that we ask ourselves questions incorrectly and answer them incorrectly. You don’t need an angry one: “But why doesn’t the trolleybus go as long as possible ?!”, the philosophical one is much better: “Why, in fact, does it have to come?” This, of course, is a joke, but when a child appears in the family, such an attitude sometimes helps a lot to live, especially if naughty children come on the scene, because of which parents do not sleep at night (instead of melancholy asking yourself: “Why, in fact, are they supposed to be obedient?").

Regulation "no"

The child is new to the world. On the one hand, he is interested in everything, on the other hand, he has absolutely no experience. He does not know that you can burn yourself with fire, fall from a height, cut yourself with a knife. The best experience, of course, is personal, but not every parent will be able to watch with indifference how his child climbs into the outlet. And here it is important to know the following about naughty children: the more prohibitions, the more uncontrollable the baby will seem to parents.

Known and fashionable back in the 60s, Dr. Spock advises: no more than three “no” in one room. To organize the space on the basis of this principle is the task of the parents: to bandage the nightstands, to put cutting, piercing, beating things out of reach. It is especially important to remove or secure something that can cause significant harm to health and threaten life: when children are at home, there should be no household chemicals within reach, and a pot of boiling water should be better placed on the far burner.

All these measures can be considered passive-preventive, but they are effective and allow you to protect the child from trouble, and the parents from a nervous breakdown, which is inevitable in the case when every five minutes you have to “you can’t”. Such adult behavior will either block curiosity in the child or lead to total disobedience: in a world where nothing is allowed, one must learn to bypass prohibitions.

Impossible - Always Impossible

Another sure path to failure is instability. The child should have a stable, consistent picture of the world. If today it’s impossible to go to the aquarium, then tomorrow it’s also impossible, and it’s impossible with your grandmother, and with dad. It is much better if the upbringing of children in the family is carried out in a single style, which is why it is so important to reach a preliminary consensus on this issue.

Often this is not possible, but in this case, too, one should not despair too much. Children are excellent psychologists, not to say manipulators. They build relationships with each family member individually, and very quickly begin to understand with whom it is possible to insist on their own, and with whom it is useless. The influence of a grandmother who pampers and “spoils” will not be decisive if mom and dad act as a united front.

Disobedience as a mirror of relationships

In principle, before complaining about what naughty children you have, you should clearly define the “guilty” ones. It is possible that they are not the younger members of the family, but quite the opposite.

Often, parents behave in relation to the child incorrectly: they do not take into account his opinion, put excessive pressure on him, force him to eat, draw, read, etc., when this is not at all necessary, not in accordance with the desires of the little person.

There is another situation: in words, an adult says one thing, but his actions, tone, conversations with others suggest to the child that in fact his behavior is encouraged. The following situation can serve as an illustration: a little girl beats her peers on the playground. Mom, of course, tells her not to swing her fists. And then at home, with pride and delight, he tells how "ours dispersed everyone." In this case, it is obvious not only how the daughter will behave, but also how the character of the child will continue to form: she will quickly understand that the mother can say one thing, while thinking another. It is unlikely that this will contribute to the establishment of mutual trust, and even the cessation of fights with peers will have to be completely forgotten.

Adults should always remember that the best means of education is a personal example. It is useless to demand from the baby to do what the parents themselves do not do, and vice versa. No matter how trite it may sound, but words should not diverge from deeds. If you teach your child not to offend animals - do not kick your cat.

From each according to his ability!

The next mistake parents make, especially when they have their first child, is being too demanding. Young mom and dad, armed with a variety of advanced techniques, endlessly "train" their child. Each of his, as well as his own mistake, turns into a tragedy, even causes unreasonable anger.

In this case, you just need to calm down and understand that the child does not do what is required of him, not because he does not want to, but because he cannot do it: his neural connections are still very weak, he is not able to adequately process large arrays information is easily forgotten. Do not think that naughty children are trying to break the taboos just to annoy their parents. It is naive to believe that a one and a half year old baby will remember from one time that it is impossible to fill sandbox neighbors with sand. We'll have to repeat the ban more than a dozen times, nothing can be done.

In principle, patience is the most necessary, the most important quality of an educator. It will take oh so much before the character of the child is formed and he can begin adulthood, becomes capable of building normal relationships with the people around him.

Notorious age crises

Particular patience is needed during the so-called age-related crises. Children develop, so to speak, "leaps". A week ago, I could barely hold a pencil - and here you are, enthusiastically drawing quite recognizable piglets. A month earlier it was impossible to get an answer to the question, a red signal at a traffic light or a green one, and today the kid is already smartly listing all the colors in the picture. These are good examples.

But from the unpleasant ones: a usually docile child suddenly turns into a real imp. During breakfast, he spits out his favorite porridge, during a walk he rolls over in hysterics because of nonsense, in the evening he refuses to go to bed, and in general - there is a feeling that his son or daughter has been replaced. To all questions and comments, he says exclusively “no”. Even to an innocent mother: “Now we will sweep the floor,” the little monster replies: “We will not sweep, not the floor, not now.” Mom in despair: "Naughty child, 2 years old, what to do ?!"

Most of the answers one way or another come down to the saying of the greatest positivist philosopher of all times and peoples - Carlson, who lives on the roof: "Calm, only calm." All you need to remember about the age crisis in a baby is:

• he will pass;

• the child is also very difficult, he should be treated with understanding.

Psychologists have not yet come to a consensus about the time of the beginning of the "holiday of disobedience." Domestic experts often talk about a crisis of three years, Western - two. Some note a similar phenomenon in a year, at six, nine years. Such "confusion and vacillation" is quite simple to explain: all children are individual, and each crisis comes at its own time. Everything would be too simple if it started on schedule: they celebrated their third birthday, and the next morning it started. It is clear that this does not happen: the “catastrophe” will certainly break out suddenly, horrifying parents - especially if this is the first child and, accordingly, the first crisis.

How to get over it

How to behave in this difficult time depends largely on the age of your beloved child. If he is only a year old, hopes to reason with him with words are at least. You will have to compensate with actions, up to "pick up and carry away." It’s a completely different matter when we have a more conscious and well-speaking naughty child: 4 years old is the age when you can enter into negotiations with the “criminal” and either explain the need to perform certain actions or threaten to deprive you of any benefits.

Sometimes parents should take the path of least resistance, designating for themselves a clear boundary that cannot be crossed, and understanding what is permissible to give up. There is no need to "stand to the death" for every trifle: in this way you will only fray the nerves of both yourself and the child. A frenzied parent is more likely to do stupid things that he will later regret, so in some matters it is better to go with the flow.

If the crisis is accompanied by aggression, it makes sense to pause in relationships with peers and take a walk together for now. Don't want to eat porridge? Please let him sit hungry. Want to argue? Let him argue. The position of the parent in this case should be benevolent, but reinforced concrete.

And you don't have to worry about how ugly the stage looks from the outside. Most often, it is inexperienced (and therefore best of all who know how best to raise children) people who, at the sight of a cub bursting with a roar, think: “God, poor baby!” Those who have been in parental shoes often think completely differently: “Oh, poor mother!” And, in the end, the opinion of others should least of all influence the upbringing process, in which consistency plays the main role: if something cannot be done when the children are at home, this cannot be allowed even when they are out for a walk.

Little Machiavellis

Little manipulators are ready to shed as many tears as they want and even roll on the floor in a frenzy - even at home, even in a store. But calm and consistent behavior will certainly decide the matter in favor of the parent. As the doctor and popular TV presenter E. Komarovsky rightly noted, the child will not throw a tantrum in front of the closet - this is unproductive. He will definitely make sure that he has animated spectators from whom you can get what you want. If the desired result cannot be achieved, there will be no repetitions of the solo number.

Now, perhaps, it is worthwhile to understand in detail what exactly the child considers the “desired result”. It's not always as obvious as it seems. Very often, the cause of bad behavior is not the nominal doll in the window, but the desire to get attention from adults. Children in this regard are very demanding, their world revolves around their parents. At the same time, it is characteristic that in the absence of attention with the “plus” sign, they are satisfied with the negative. This is how chronically naughty children appear who prefer to listen to screams and even be punished, so as not to remain in the “dead zone” of parental indifference. Always immersed in their phone or computer, mother and father are guaranteed to get a result that will not please them: the less attention they pay to the child, the more likely they are to face disobedience.

The way out is obvious: to reconsider your own line of behavior and find time for your children, since the situation will only get worse further.

Parents must educate

Often this happens when the still immature young people have the so-called early children: parents who themselves have not yet grown up and want to have fun, are happy to delegate the reins of power to the older generation. Grandparents are engaged in education, and mom and dad live their own lives, sometimes trying to pay off the child with gifts. In this case, after a few years, it turns out that the child does not recognize the authority of the parents, behaves aggressively and disrespectfully. What kind of obedience...

Relationships develop in approximately the same way when a young mother, after a divorce from an equally young father, tries to improve her personal life to the detriment of communication with her child.

It is a mistake to think that “a child needs to be dealt with” - you just need to live with him, communicate, build relationships, constantly keeping in mind that he is an independent person, which in no case is the property of his parents. Their task is to give him a path to a life that he will live on his own.

When parents are wondering what to do if the child is nervous and naughty, they should first evaluate their own actions and decide:

Is the little person getting enough attention?

whether the actions of his caregivers are consistent;

what relationship connects his mother and father;

what kind of environment surrounds him at home.

It happens that children have a hard time going through changes in their lives. If there was a move, a divorce of parents, the death of one of the close relatives with whom the child often and a lot of contact, you should not urgently look for solutions on how to raise a naughty child, but help him survive the trauma. It should be remembered that adaptation takes from six months to a year, and during this period his behavior may be far from ideal. You can treat this condescendingly, stopping, however, frankly aggressive, unfair attacks.

Very often a child becomes uncontrollable when he has a younger brother or sister. Children's jealousy often becomes the cause of aggressive behavior, the older child begins to study poorly, be rude, withdraw into himself. There is only one advice - to create an environment in which he will not feel deprived, abandoned, unnecessary. Yes, it can be difficult for a mother to control herself when a baby needs care, but a change in the behavior of an older one is the bell that needs to be paid attention to.

Democracy and family

Now relations in a family are considered normal, in which the child is not a subordinate creature, but an equal one. But such a scheme of building relationships is hardly adequate. A parent must still have authority in the eyes of his children and deal with certain situations with parental authority alone: ​​the upbringing of children in the family provides for such cases. It happens when the baby is naughty, not wanting to go to bed. It is permissible, probably, to give him a long lecture on the importance of a good night's rest - and go to bed by one in the morning. Or you can simply order to go to bed, strictly and confidently. The closer and more trusting the relationship with the child in principle, the more he will be afraid to disobey and cause displeasure of the adored parent.

It is important to remember that you do not need to “sulk” on a child for a long time. This does not have a beneficial effect - he will only feel abandoned and unnecessary. Not talking for weeks with delinquent children is the lot of people with a deeply traumatized psyche. Much better results are given by the system of rewards and punishments designed into the game.

For example, a “weekly prize” is established: a trip to a water park, a movie, a trip for mushrooms, or something else that is significant for a child. It is very important that the “win” includes not just a bought toy, but time spent together, with the whole family.

So, during the week, the child must earn his winnings: score a certain number of points (they can be embodied in specially designed chips, bonuses, stickers, or simply draw a graph on the refrigerator). For good behavior, the “competitor” receives a certain number of points - and, accordingly, for bad behavior, these points are removed. It is important to remember that justice is the most important thing in this game. And yet - the guarantee of a positive result. Even if it was not possible to score the required number of points, but the child still tried - he should receive a prize, albeit not so chic, but still not be left empty-handed.

The Importance of Communication

The child should not be closed within four walls - he needs to communicate with people. The more experience he gets, the easier it will be for him to build relationships with others. No need to worry too much about what your naughty child will do in kindergarten: it is quite possible that there he will behave like an angel with snow-white wings. As mentioned above, children build relationships with adults based on their behavior. With a child, like with no one else, the saying “how it comes around, it will respond” is true. The other children in the garden are a great opportunity for observation and training. The kid will understand that people are different, behave differently, relationships with them can also be different. He makes his first friends and enemies, joins society, gradually preparing to enter adulthood.

The way children behave in the garden largely depends not only on their personal characteristics, but also on the teacher. An experienced, sensitive teacher will surely create a proper atmosphere in the group. Therefore, when choosing a children's institution, first of all, one should focus not so much on food and comfortable conditions, but on the personality of the person with whom the child will spend most of the day.

Of course, family relationships are a fundamental factor in the formation of the child's psyche. Parents should always remember that the basics of raising children are not secrets with seven seals. The main thing is to remember that before you is a person and a person, which should be treated with respect. It is important not to neglect the opinion of the child, to be sensitive to his experiences, to behave in a friendly and patient manner, to try to approach education meaningfully, carefully analyzing your own behavior, which should be consistent and fair. It is absolutely unacceptable to vent evil on a child from failures at work, quarrels with a husband (wife) or other troubles. If this happened, you need to find the strength in yourself to apologize.

Of course, there will be many mistakes, but do not despair: ideal people (and parents) do not exist in nature. No matter how trite it may sound, but when there is love, understanding and care in the family, everything is solved. In this case, you do not have to figure out what to do if the child is nervous and naughty. It will be possible to survive crises, solve problems, and enjoy life and communication with a new person, interesting, kind and talented.

9 months of waiting, a long-awaited meeting with a little bundle of happiness, the first birthday ... Such moments touch every parent! But now the baby has grown a little and you notice with horror that he is not distinguished by obedience. As a rule, in such a situation, many adults give up, while it is necessary to reconsider some educational positions and understand what is the hidden reason for such impudent behavior of the baby.

A naughty child is a punishment for parents.

Reproaches, advice and moralizing are pouring down on their heads from everywhere. And really, where is the upbringing? Why do parents not pay due attention to this process? How could they allow the fact that they have a naughty child growing up?
In fact, the child is just a reflection of his parents, their behavior. Simply put, in order to understand the reason for disobedience, you should pay attention to your own feelings experienced in conflict with the baby.

So, how often do you feel irritated while your baby is pulling your hand? But in this way he fights for parental attention. Or another case: often a naughty little child begins to defend his own opinion, refusing to comply with the requests of his parents. At this point, the latter are likely to be overcome with anger. This is how the feelings of parents and children are connected, and if you are already engaged in raising a baby, then you should not forget about your own behavior!

Causes of inappropriate behavior of children.

So the first reason is struggle for parental attention.
It is known that kids are very inquisitive, and they also want to be close to their loved ones as often as possible. However, often parents are not able to give the baby as much attention as he requires. As a result, a naughty offended child, striving to get attention at least in this way.

The second reason - self-affirmation.
What does an adult feel, who is constantly pointed out to mistakes and tries to reprimand? Starts to straighten up! Children do the same, trying to show their own personality.

The third reason is desire for revenge.
This situation is often found in a family where the eldest child is growing up, and the youngest was born just recently. Watching how mother gives all her tenderness to the baby, the elder begins to take revenge. The only thing the baby wants at such moments is for adults to feel the same as he does.

And finally, the last reason - lack of faith in oneself.
It should be noted that the parents themselves very often push the kids to this reason. Do you think that a naughty child does not need praise and encouragement? This is wrong! If parents do not praise their baby, he will simply lose faith in his own abilities and refuse to behave appropriately.

Education should start from early childhood. No, this does not mean at all that a naughty little child should often serve his sentence in the corner or get hit in the ass. The main method of education is love. Prohibitions and all sorts of rules can only give rise to stubbornness, which becomes the impetus for disobedience. But do not forget that very often disobedience is the cry of the child himself that he badly needs boundaries!

Ways to manage a child

And now it is worth paying attention to the ways in which even the most naughty child can be obedient:

1. Set the rules of conduct
Often parents put prohibitions in front of the child, without explaining them at all. Over time, the baby is simply lost in the “no”. To forget about such a topic as a naughty little child, you need to set a few clear rules and justify them!

2. We show firmness
If the kid does not obey, he receives a reprimand. Over time, mom becomes sorry for her baby, and she retreats from her opinion. It is not right. Children perfectly feel parental doubts, so if it is already said “no”, then you should not smile and condescendingly look at the guilty little one.

3. We give the child the right to choose
As soon as parents begin to demand absolute obedience from the child, he becomes offended. Who likes to feel like a doll? It is much more useful to offer the baby several options for his behavior, no matter how difficult the situation may seem.

4. We praise the baby
A naughty naughty child is a child who simply lacks parental praise. Do not forget to praise the baby for the smallest detail, and he will want to become even better!

5. We make up the daily routine
The mode is necessary for children of any age. It is thanks to a well-designed schedule that a child learns to do what is required of him on time.

Parenting Mistakes

The main mistake of parents in raising a child is the frequent use of bribery. Of course, it is much easier to persuade the baby to go to the garden, promising to buy him a new toy in the evening, than to negotiate without using bribery. In fact, in order to see authority in you, the baby must understand that the parental word means a lot.

You should also not, at the first opportunity, use physical punishment or intimidate the child with an “uncle” who will come around the corner and take away the little vermin. The child should know that your words and communication are not empty. Also, he shouldn't do anything out of fear!
And finally, never show your child your own powerlessness, at the moment of punishment, use the rule of "here and now" and think before you do!

And the last thing parents should remember is the cases in which it is impossible to punish a child, no matter how badly he behaves:

— during meals;

— with strangers;

— After sleep;

— during the game;

— at the moment of his desire to help.

Remember, a naughty capricious child should not become less beloved for parents!