What to say to the parents of the groom during the matchmaking. Matchmaking: traditions and features of the conduct. Cool humorous text of the matchmaking script from the side of the groom: the words of the groom, parents, matchmakers

Since ancient times in Rus', the ceremony of matchmaking was as important as the wedding. The girls were impatiently waiting for the matchmakers to look into their house. Years have passed, views have changed, and today this tradition has practically sunk into oblivion. But if in the near future you have to go through matchmaking by the bride, what to say and how to behave are issues of paramount importance.

Ticket to get married

Half a century ago, everything began not with a collusion of the young, but with a meeting of matchmakers in the bride's house. All contenders for the role of the future wife have always been on their account.

In Rus', there were even special signs:

  • It was not worth scheduling a matchmaking on Wednesday or Friday, especially if these days of the week fell on the 13th of the month.
  • Matchmakers, entering the house, for the success of the event, had to imperceptibly from the owners to put their hand on the door frame.
  • The guests were supposed to sit under the ceiling beam, because it was believed that it brings good luck.
  • It was a good tradition for the bride to buy something new for the house, such as curtains, bed linen or a tablecloth.

In the case of a positive response from the bride and her parents, the matchmakers agreed on the next stage - the bride. At this ceremony, the bride and groom were given a place of honor in the center of the table, and the guests, drinking tea, praised one or the other. At the end of the event, parents from both sides went outside and exchanged their impressions.

No less important and necessary moment in the pre-wedding preparation was the engagement. On this day, godmothers and fathers, as well as parents, blessed the couple for a happy family life. The engagement ended with the singing of ritual songs and a feast, from where the next tradition originated - drinking the bride on drink. And in the city, the engagement was supplemented by the need for a church agreement. So, if the priest was not against marriage, then the young people were given a "ticket for marriage."

Not for the red word

Today, everything is much easier. The groom does not need to appear several times at the bride's house to please her relatives. And the bride herself does not mind getting married faster, so most of these customs are omitted.

But so that at the crucial moment of matchmaking, the parents and guests from the side of the bride do not figure out what to say, it is advisable to write a script in advance and distribute the words to everyone. As an example, you can take this option:

  • After the matchmakers have painted all the merits of the groom and made their opening speech, the word goes to the matchmaker of the bride or host.

Presenter: Wait, wait, where are you in a hurry? Do you know for sure that everything is agreed with them? After all, young people today are unpredictable: they will say “yes”, but tomorrow they will change their mind and answer “no”. You see, our girl does not want to go out. Maybe let the groom try to call her?

  • The young man calls his beloved at the top of his voice. But instead of her, a friend enters the room - all decorated, with a haircut and in a short skirt. He sits on a chair and crosses his legs.

Presenter: Here, darling, and your bride. Just look how fashionable and bright she is, you will see such a beauty for a hundred kilometers, but you won’t let go anywhere. She has no end of suitors, but you see, she chose you.

  • The young man replies that this is not his bride.

Presenter: What, not to your liking, did the girl come? How is it, but we tried! But you apparently quietly called.

  • The guy calls the bride even louder. A modest girl enters the room.

Host: Oh, this one is definitely yours! And modest, and blush, even reads books. Everything is as you described. Take away!

  • The groom again says that this girl is good, but not his favorite.

Host: Are you wrong again? Maybe you will add affectionate words to your cry, then the bride will come out?

  • The young man screams with all his might. A girl in an apron and with a broom comes out into the hall.

Presenter: Look, what a hostess, a craftswoman-needlewoman. He certainly cooks delicious food. With such a hostess, your socks will always be clean.

Groom: Matchmaker, dear, stop fooling my head. Give mine here immediately (calls the name of the bride), otherwise I'll leave! I have no time to stand here with you.

  • The boyfriend's lover comes out.

Matchmaker from the groom's side: Well, my dear, is your girlfriend? Your betrothed-beloved?

  • The guy says it's her. Then the matchmaker or the groom himself makes a marriage proposal to the girl.

Host: Hey, wait, wait. You are too young and daring. Who is doing this? It is supposed to first present gifts to the bride and her parents.

  • The young man gives gifts to all relatives and again asks if the girl is ready to marry him. The bride answers in the affirmative.

Presenter: Now everything went like clockwork. It's time to rest and soak your mustache in beer.

  • Guests are invited to the festive table.

Using this example, you can write your own cool matchmaking script from the bride’s side or supplement the existing one with your own ideas. For example, it is very funny if instead of bridesmaids disguised men come into the room. By the way, each of them can also write words.

So that guests do not get bored

Usually, not only the greeting procedure itself takes place in a constrained atmosphere, but also when the guests sat down at the table, it is necessary to help them relax and start communication. It is very good for this at the matchmaking to have toasts from the parents, friends and relatives of the bride. They, as the owners of the house, begin this tradition, and then the guests pick it up from the other side. It would be very helpful if you captured all the wishes on video.

Examples of table toasts:

  • “With all my heart I want to wish that the necessary notes are always present in your union:
  • “Do you know why many families survive in marriage to a silver, gold and diamond wedding? Their secret is simple - over the years they do not forget to pay attention to each other. Constant interest in the affairs of the spouse, warmth in relationships and understanding in the eyes - these are the main points of family life. So I want to wish you to be attentive to your soul mate, always love each other, treat with understanding in everything and everywhere!
  1. to - goodness, love and happiness!;
  2. si - systemic replenishment of the treasury;
  3. la - wish yourself;
  4. salt is a refrigerator full of food;
  5. fa - fantastic luck in everything;
  6. mi - minimum quarrels;
  7. re - regular rest together;
  8. do - prosperity in everything;
  • “Finding the embodiment of the second “I” in this world is very difficult. Ideally, when your woman complements you in everything, understands and loves you. Then you are ready to answer her the same and even exalt everything a hundred times. We want to wish the groom good luck, and may his proposal for marriage succeed today! And we offer to drink for those who control fortune - for parents!

In Rus', the ceremony of matchmaking was an obligatory tradition. The girl was impatiently waiting for the long-awaited matchmakers to knock on her room, because this meant that her lover decided to link his fate with her forever.

But there were other cases when the young woman did not even suspect that they were going to marry her, and for the first time she saw the groom only in the church during the wedding.

Since then, a lot of time has elapsed, customs and customs have changed, the ceremony of matchmaking has become an optional attribute, but for some couples it still has not lost its charm.

Firstly, this is a very touching ceremony, secondly, it has recently become fashionable to return to the old days, and thirdly, this is not only a beautiful tradition, but also useful if you look at it from the side of the couple's parents.

How to choose the right time for marriage

If in the old days the ceremony of matchmaking was often a surprise, then the modern interpretation of the tradition is somewhat pragmatic.

This date depends primarily on when the young people plan to get married. According to tradition, the period between matchmaking and marriage should last from three months to a year, unless, of course, there are good reasons for the transfer (pregnancy, relocation or military service).

It is considered not a good sign to delay this period for more than a year, and the set time for grooming should be quite enough for a thorough preparation of the wedding.

According to an old belief, the number and the day are important. For example, marrying on Wednesday or Friday is not good, just like scheduling such an event on the 13th.

The best, lucky dates for matchmaking in our time are called the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th of the month. So the arrival of matchmakers to the bride's house is agreed in advance at a convenient time for her and her parents.

How to get a modern girl

Of course, over time, the ceremony has undergone some changes: the absence of the effect of surprise, the acquisition of a certain touch of practicality. Now the groom is wooing the bride, having already secured her consent, so the modern ceremony of wooing is more of a fictitious procedure, but still not without charm. Therefore, it is still worth understanding the question of how to woo the bride to the groom's parents.

The future bride and her parents are properly preparing for the arrival of dear guests. Usually, a general cleaning or even repairs are done in the apartment, this is considered a kind of preparation for wedding chores.

It is considered a good omen to purchase some new household items, such as new curtains, a new festive tablecloth, or a new service.

The festive table requires special preparation. Its aesthetics and abundance should make a good impression on future relatives, so a variety of dishes are prepared and alcoholic drinks are displayed. After all, it is better to discuss upcoming wedding chores in a pleasant and informal atmosphere.

According to tradition, the groom should not show up to his mother-in-law's house without anything, the presence of flowers for the bride and her mother is simply a must, and if you wish, you can take chocolate, sweets, good alcohol or small souvenir gifts with you.

After the visit of the groom with his relatives, the bride with her relatives must strike back. According to the rules of good manners, the bride should also take care of gifts for future father-in-law and mother-in-law. Traditional sets are suitable here: flowers for mom, expensive alcoholic or tobacco products for dad.

Successful matchmaking depends on the bride

The girl should carefully consider her image, because, in most cases, she will first appear before the parents of her future husband as a daughter-in-law. Therefore, it is extremely important to make a positive impression.

To do this, you need to choose the right outfit, accessories for it, makeup, hairstyle. You should also not forget about manners. A potential bride may please future relatives if:

  • it will look modern, stylish and beautiful, but at the same time elegant and sophisticated (therefore, you should not wear a defiant mini or sexy transparent tight dress, but it is better to save something more conservative, sexy outfit for your lover);
  • she will show herself to be a good housewife (she will personally prepare some delicious dish, and the role of her parents is to advertise her daughter's culinary talents to future relatives);
  • the style of behavior will not be cheeky and extravagant, but modest and polite (you should not shout out your opinion loudly, interrupt your future father-in-law and mother-in-law, even if their opinion does not agree with yours; you can calmly and politely bring your counterarguments, thereby showing that in front of them not an inert amoeba, but a calm and reasonable young lady, with her own opinion, this will only be a plus towards the future daughter-in-law);
  • will in every possible way show respect not only for the groom's parents, but also for his own (as practice shows, people of the age especially appreciate such an attitude);
  • will pay attention to the future spouse (any mother and father are afraid that the son's wife will be selfish and will not love their son as they think he deserves);
  • will ask the future father-in-law and mother-in-law about the tastes and preferences of their son (even if the girl already knows all this, but such an attitude will contribute to establishing close and trusting relationships, especially with the mother-in-law).

You tell me, you tell me what you need...

And now it has come, this decisive turning point - the matchmakers are already on the threshold. What to do? The first word is given to the matchmaker.

If the matchmaking takes place on a large scale and there are many people, then such a mission can be entrusted to an older brother, godfather, close friend or even the groom's boss, but in modern life this role is most often assigned to the groom's father.

The groom himself is not supposed to talk, he only needs to answer questions when they turn to him.

There are times in life when the groom comes to the bride's house to woo alone, this is not so categorical. Just in this case, he should prepare a good speech.

The matchmaker and his assistants begin the conversation with greetings and wishes for good and well-being at the bride's house. If the parents let the guests into the house, we can assume that half the work has already been done: the purpose of the visit is announced, and the guests go to the festively laid table.

Then the conversation continues traditionally: “We have a merchant for your goods ...” And then they begin to praise this very “merchant”: what a fine fellow he is, how much he earns, what a wonderful character he has, and stuff like that. The bride's parents should, in turn, praise and defend the "commodity" - their beloved daughter.

It is the direct duty of the bride's parents to learn as much as possible about the groom and his family, because the future life of their daughter will depend on their decision. Actually, this is the essence of the matchmaking ceremony - to make a decisive verdict - whether the potential groom is suitable for the role of the husband of their beloved blood.

So the groom will have to be patient and prepare for thorough inquiries: about a career, about life positions, about views on children, about future plans, etc.

To make the ceremony fun, use contests, auctions or toasts. The more playful these entertainments are, the more memorable this day will become for the young.

How it was before and how it is now

  1. In Rus', the ceremony of matchmaking took place with virtually the same pomp as the wedding itself. Now there is no special need for this, significant expenses are still planned for the wedding celebration.
  2. Matchmaking previously had a wide scope and in terms of the number of invited people, there was even a tradition to hire special people. These days, everything is more modest - parents and a few friends or relatives.
  3. According to a long tradition, matchmakers came with embroidered towels, the bride's side put out special dishes, and the course of the ceremony itself took place clearly according to the rules.
    The bride was supposed to sit silently by the stove with her back to the guests and shovel out the ashes from there. Now such a behavior of the bride is simply ridiculous to imagine, the modern bride is sitting with her guests.
  4. Our ancestors usually did not directly say what brought them to the house, but subtly hinted, joked and pushed to the topic of conversation. In our time, initiative is clearly on the side of the groom, because he goes to the house already with consent to marriage.
    In addition, it used to be considered to agree from one meeting almost bad manners, and therefore the matchmakers could call in 3-4 times.
  5. Matchmaking contests are a must, especially money ones. In Rus', bridesmaids tried to outdo each other in who would lure the most rubles from the groom. And the groom was even glad of this, and enjoyed having fun and paying with money.
  6. Gifts were also obligatory, and matchmakers came with whole bags, because it was necessary to appease the bride, her parents, relatives, and even girlfriends.
  7. Nowadays, the matchmaking ceremony is distinguished by a lighter and more playful form, because the groom does not have to worry and be afraid of the shame that he will be refused, and the bride will take out a watermelon, pumpkin or other object denoting a firm “no”.

The rite is over: what is the result?

How is it supposed to end the marriage ceremony? When the inquiries are over, the fun subsided, then the bride's family must definitely announce their decision, even if it's a formality.

The matchmakers should thank for the hospitality, praise the hostesses for the treat, and the father of the family for understanding, kind words and a decision in favor of the groom.

In addition, the groom's relatives, according to the rules of good manners, are obliged to invite the bride and her family to the bride. This process, so to speak, matchmaking by the groom, can also take place in a very fun and memorable way. How the matchmaking will go for you depends on the ingenuity and perkyness of the participants.

Matchmaking is an ancient custom that takes place in the bride's house after sunset. A girl with relatives and friends meets the groom with matchmakers and parents. Although this ceremony is ancient, even today some couples try to observe it.

The matchmaking of the bride is an important and responsible event not only for the groom, but also for the future bride. After all, the matchmaking takes place in the girl's house. Which should show itself only from the best side, and for this you need to do a lot of preparatory work for the upcoming event: collect a dowry, prepare the house for meeting guests, set the table, buy a pumpkin, discuss with your parents the intricacies of communicating with matchmakers.

Collecting dowry.

For some modern brides, the word "dowry" will not be familiar. What it is? Dowry for the bride - things that the bride is given by her parents to a new family life. The richer the dowry was collected by the parents for the young, the more likely the girl is to marry. Crockery, bed linen, towels, tablecloths, etc. are suitable for dowry. Handmade items are especially valued, for example, an embroidered tablecloth by the girl herself, which made a spectacular impression on the groom and matchmakers.

How to serve matchmakers?

Matchmakers are received at the bride's house. In order to make a positive impression on guests, the house should be cleaned. The bride's house is the face of the bride. It should be clean, cozy and comfortable. The dowry for the bride is placed in a conspicuous place, and a pumpkin is also placed in the corner, which can serve as a refusal for the groom. But you should not put it in the center of a table or room, let it help set up matchmakers for an active conversation and harmony.

Any event does not pass without a festive table. So at the ceremony of wooing, they set the table for welcome guests. Only homemade dishes are put on the table. A girl should take a direct part in the preparation of dishes, showing those her culinary abilities. Dishes of the author's character are highly valued (note to the bride).

The bride should also dress appropriately and according to tradition. The bride's outfit should be soft, modest, but tasteful. Dress or skirt should not be above the knees. Hairstyle is simple, like daytime makeup. It is also worth paying attention to the manicure - neat and discreet, French is ideal. Of the jewelry, you can wear a ring or necklace donated by the groom. What to talk about with guests should be discussed in advance so as not to get into awkward situations, not to “shush” and wink at the table.

Advice for the bride

In the old days, the bride was not present at the matchmaking. She sat quietly in the next room until she was called. But now everything has changed. The bride herself meets the matchmakers in her house. And she needs to show herself as a good hostess, a friendly girl. Such a girl with whom a young man can go through his whole family life, and the matchmakers will understand this.

How to make that impression? Easily. Here are some tips. During the ceremony of courtship, the bride should be mostly silent, not asking questions, not starting or maintaining a conversation at the table, nor making toasts. Don't drink too much alcohol and eat a lot. You need to show yourself as a caring hostess: look after the empty plates on the table, take away dirty dishes, take care of wine glasses and napkins. Monitor your conversation with everyone present, including your parents. Do not interfere in the conversation and interrupt. Importantly, you do not need to hug and kiss the groom in front of your parents, even if you have been together for many years. Also, do not praise yourself and show off, the parents of the bride should talk about this.

And the main advice, behave naturally, you should not flaunt your flaws, and the success of the matchmaking is guaranteed.

In the old days, matchmaking was performed in compliance with many signs.

It was believed that the better the matchmaking went, the more customs were observed, the happier and richer the family life of the young would be.

After all, the observance of traditions was not important in itself: it was regarded as a tribute to the ancestors, who could bring happiness to a young family, and avert trouble from it, and provide assistance in difficult times.

Customs and rules of conduct during matchmaking

A hundred years ago, matchmaking often stretched for a week. One day it happened wooing the bride, in the other bride, in the third - engagement (betrothal, conspiracy). And these are just the most important steps.

A few more rites took place between them: yard-gazing(when the bride's relatives look around the house and household of the groom's family) and sing, during which the bride is “drinked away” at a cheerful and noisy feast, after which neither party has the right to refuse marriage.

matchmaking

Usually, the upcoming arrival at the house of matchmakers for the relatives of the bride was not a surprise: they were informed about this in advance by the local matchmaker, a respectable and highly respected woman.

If the bride's relatives agreed to accept or at least listen to the offer, then a festive treat was prepared, the table was laid. The matchmakers who came were seated behind him, and a long conversation began, giving the two families the opportunity to have fun, compete in wit, and get to know each other better, while discussing important issues.

In some areas, it was customary for the bride to sit by the stove during the matchmaking, shoveling out the ashes from there. However, she had to do this extremely carefully: after all, she was wearing one of her best outfits.

In other villages, the bride could even express her attitude towards the matchmakers: if the girl started sweeping the floor from the threshold to the stove, she let it know that she was glad for the groom, but if from the stove to the threshold, it meant that she wanted the matchmakers to leave the house.

Often the bride was not shown at all during the matchmaking or they were allowed to go out to the guests only for a short time, saving the bride until the ceremony.

The bride's relatives treated the matchmakers, praising their daughter and telling what a mistress, hard worker and craftswoman she is. If the bride's family was rich and the girl was beautiful, then they might not have given final consent the first time.

In the Kuban, in Kursk and Voronezh, it was considered bad form and recognition of any shortcomings of a girl if the family agreed to marry her off at the first visit to the matchmakers. It was a good omen to make the matchmakers come an odd number of times: three or even five.

Smotriny

After the matchmaking, they appointed a day of viewing. The girl showed her skills, the groom's relatives carefully examined the dowry prepared by the bride: no matter how beautiful the loafer, unspun, netkaha was, they did not marry such.

During the show, the girl could change outfits up to three times. At the end of the show, after the young man returned to the hut, having previously discussed the girl’s dignity with her relatives, her mother presented him with a full mug of intoxicated honey. If a guy emptied her in one breath, then he confirmed his intention to marry, if he only sipped a little, this meant a refusal.

In the case when both parties were satisfied with each other, the day of agreement (betrothal) was appointed.

farsightedness

Previously, the bride's family could also pay a visit to the groom's family to evaluate the house and household. During the conspiracy, especially many symbolic rites were performed.

Before the betrothal, the bride in the company of her bridesmaids had to "mourn the scythe", that is, their girlish freedom. The expression “to mourn the scythe” has gone back to pre-Christian times, when, after the wedding, the young husband cut off his wife’s scythe and gave it to the girl’s family as a sign of kinship.

Also, since pagan times, the tradition of a betrothed girl to cry sobbing has been preserved, rather than symbolically show the gods that she is not going away of her own will into a strange family - they are taken away by force.

sing

With the beginning of the conspiracy, the engaged guy and girl were seated together on a bearskin: this was supposed to contribute to the childbearing of the future family.

At the end of the evening, when the bride was already "drunk away", she cut the bread brought by the groom's family, and each of the guests had to eat at least a piece. Bread is holy, the oath taken on bread is inviolable, and from that moment on, no one could refuse the upcoming marriage without bringing inescapable shame on their heads.

As a sign of betrothal, the groom gave the bride some kind of jewelry (most often, earrings), and the girl had to present the whole family of the groom.

What should a bride give for matchmaking?

In the old days, it was customary for a girl to present the future mother-in-law and relatives of the groom with beautiful scarves or shawls, and the father-in-law and other relatives - cuts of linen for shirts.

Nowadays, choosing gifts for the future father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and sister-in-law, the bride gets an excellent opportunity to win the favor of new relatives, showing taste and tact.

Of course, not a single woman will refuse a beautiful silk scarf, as well as a man from a branded shirt, but you can come up with something more interesting.

It is better to ask the groom himself about the preferences of each of the future relatives.

However, men are not too attentive, and if the groom can still tell about the tastes of the male part of the family, then the preferences of his mother and sisters are often an unsolvable mystery for him.

So it makes sense to be creative. For example, if there are avid fishermen in the husband's family, some good spinning rod will be a very worthy gift. The new mobile phone is quite suitable for both men and women, especially the brother or sister of the groom.

You can give a future mother-in-law a good perfume. If she has some hobbies, for example, embroidery or floriculture, then a beautiful collector's edition on her favorite topic will surely attract her heart to the side of a caring daughter-in-law.

It is not necessary to give a gift to the groom for matchmaking, on this day it is worth paying attention to the rest of the family members of the future spouse.

Modern matchmaking by the bride. Tribute to customs

Nowadays, of course, the arrival of matchmakers is agreed in advance and are not going to refuse them. However, this is not a reason not to make matchmaking fun and memorable.

How to prepare for marriage?

The goal of matchmaking, from the point of view of the bride's family, is to make the most positive impression on the matchmakers. For this, a little preparatory work must be carried out:

Dowry

Oddly enough, even today in many families the dowry for their daughter has been collected for many years - these are bed linen, towels, various household utensils, dishes.

By the arrival of the matchmakers, it is advisable to pull out or prepare part of the dowry so that there is something to brag about.

Ideally, if among the towels and sheets there is, for example, a tablecloth embroidered by the future wife herself. Like centuries ago, this will make an indelible impression on the future mother-in-law.

treat

Of course, you can get to know each other in the best way only at the festive table. It is important that the dishes on the table are homemade., preferably branded.

The bride must definitely participate in the process of preparing the treat so that the matchmakers can appreciate her culinary skills.

Speech

Of course, the text on a piece of paper does not need to be written down. But the bride's relatives should know that their task is to praise the bride so that the groom's side has no doubts. Therefore, with the positive aspects of the personality of the future wife, which must be voiced to the matchmakers, it is better to decide in advance.

If the bride does not want her biography to be mentioned or her parents to show her baby photos where she sits on the potty, then it’s better too talk about these things in advance, and not then hiss across the table at mom and dad who got emotional.

Questions

Matchmaking is that rare moment when you can openly ask future relatives about plans for the future, about family traditions, or about attitudes towards bad habits.

At the same time, you can find out some details about the groom: find out about his attitude to the family, to children. It is quite possible that the bride herself did not bother to ask her young man about such prosaic things.

Therefore, in order to avoid confusion and not miss the moment, questions addressed to the groom and his parents, it is also better to think over in advance.

Our great-grandmothers at the time of the matchmaking had no right to leave their room at all, and if they did, they were obliged to respectfully remain silent. Now times have changed, and the bride herself can meet guests, but, as in ancient times, modesty and respect for elders will greatly adorn the future wife in the eyes of future relatives.

How to behave

  • At the time of the matchmaking, the bride is advised to be more silent, not to ask questions to the groom's parents, not to control the conversation at the table, not to make toasts. Marriageable girl - that's the perfect image.
  • Eat less and categorically do not drink alcohol. Instead, take care of filling guests' dishes, clean cutlery and napkins, and take away dirty dishes on time. In general, it's time show yourself as a caring hostess.
  • As much as possible respectfully talk to your parents, and not just to the parents of the groom. Do not interrupt them, do not interfere in the conversation.
  • Do not show affection for the groom, do not kiss him in front of his parents, even if the bride and groom have been living together for several years by the time of the matchmaking.
  • Don't brag and don't brag. This process must be properly organized so that everything necessary is said by relatives in the right way (see above).

How to look better

As for the appearance, then here you will have to follow the traditions. The bride should be dressed modestly, but tastefully.. This is especially important if the groom's parents see their son's future wife for the first time.

Any aggressive colors and shapes - whether it be a top with rhinestones or sharp false nails - are perceived by the older generation as a manifestation of vulgarity. At the same time, it is important to find the line between not looking too bright, and not seeming simple.

It is also better not to wear expensive and bulky jewelry, it is better to limit yourself to a ring or necklace donated by your future husband.

The dress or skirt must be no higher than the knee. The hairstyle is simple, the makeup is daytime, the manicure is preferably French.

How to prepare for meeting dear guests

If a real matchmaker participates in the matchmaking process, then for sure everything will be fun and interesting.

If the matchmaker is not provided, and the bride does not want the matchmaking to turn into an ordinary feast, she needs to think over various “homemade preparations” by the arrival of the matchmakers - jokes that, at the right time, can be passed off as successful impromptu.

It is good to involve relatives in inventing texts in order to distribute roles together and prepare skits, impromptu, praising the bride and her relatives.

By the end of the evening, the future wife can sing ditties about her chosen one, the purpose of which is to praise him in front of her parents. Surely, both parties will appreciate both such a step and the bride's sense of humor.

Having fun helps strangers get rid of their awkwardness and get to know each other better. The groom's parents praise their child, the girl's parents praise their blood. Although dowry chests are not relevant today, but demonstration of handmade crafts of the bride(embroideries, knitwear, appliqués) will not be superfluous at all.

In a word, a good, fun, smart and creative matchmaking is a wonderful prelude to the creation of a young family.

The tradition of matchmaking came to us from our ancestors. This is a very interesting and unusual pre-wedding ceremony, which has many rules. On it, the families of the young get to know each other and agree on a wedding.

For everything to go well, you should plan the event in advance. It can be modern, with lots of cool ideas. Or traditional. It all depends on the personal preferences of each family. You can watch a video that will tell you how best to cope with the upcoming task. It is customary to conduct matchmaking at home, in a family setting.

Make a menu, the table should be rich. Prepare a variety of dishes so that the groom's relatives enjoy the treat. Traditionally, it is customary to meet matchmakers with a loaf and salt. To create a good mood, you can turn on music and organize dances. The modern scenario in this regard does not differ from that adopted by our ancestors.

According to tradition, the groom should give a bouquet of flowers to the bride and her mother. You should not make large and expensive gifts for the bride's family, it is enough to limit yourself to fruits and sweets. The groom's family should traditionally cook the loaf. But if you want to please future relatives, here is a list of possible gifts for a woman:

  • Silk scarf or warm shawl.
  • Expensive perfume. But you should not give preference to this gift if you do not know about the preferences of the person to whom you plan to give it.
  • Book. This could be a collector's edition that will delight the lover of literature.
  • Home decor: figurine, vase, photo frame.

What suits a man:

  • Wine, elite cognac and other alcoholic drinks.
  • If a person smokes, buy expensive cigarettes for him.
  • Home tools.
  • Technique.
  • Accessory for the car.

Gifts should be practical. You should not spend big money if you are not absolutely sure that your present will please a person.

dowry

Accepted at the wedding agree on the amount. In Rus', dowry collection traditionally began long before the wedding. It usually includes dishes, towels, bed linen. You can buy household appliances if your budget allows. These items will be useful to the bride and groom in their future life together.

A properly drawn up script guarantees a successful celebration and brings a lot of pleasant emotions, which is why it is so important to pay attention to it. Here are the main stages of the event.

  1. Matchmakers arrive at the bride's house. They are greeted with songs and ditties.
  2. Relatives get to know each other. The groom gives the brought gifts and treats the parents of his betrothed with a loaf.
  3. After the acquaintance, the guests are invited to the laid table.
  4. The bride comes out to the guests, whose parents describe her positive qualities, praising their daughter in every possible way.
  5. At this stage, it is customary for the groom to confess his feelings to the bride and give her a ring.
  6. If the bride's parents agree to the marriage, then the matchmaking can be completed with fireworks and dancing.

The arrival of the matchmakers agreed in advance by both parties. There are good and bad days. Numbers 3, 5, 7 and 9 bring happiness and good luck. Try to invite guests on one of these days. It is undesirable to conduct matchmaking on Maslenitsa. Also try to avoid the thirteenth number.

Matchmakers should be greeted cordially so that they feel the comfort and hospitality of your home. The bride comes out to the guests only after they sit down at the table. Relatives should praise her. It would be appropriate to make a toast to the happiness of the young. As a rule, it is said by the oldest and most respected member of the family. The toast can be prepared in advance so as not to get lost at the event.

In turn, the groom must prepare a speech, in which he confesses his love for the bride and demonstrates his feelings. After recognition, he must solemnly ask for the hand of his chosen one from her parents. Having received a blessing from the elders, the matchmakers lead the young to the center of the room and join their hands. The groom puts a ring on the bride's finger. It is believed that it should be decorated with a precious stone. If you believe in the energy that stones possess, then first read about their properties. Try to choose a light and not very bulky stone.

Matchmaking in the Kuban is noisy and fun. It does not differ from the holiday in other regions of Russia. But it is worth considering the traditions of each nation, which may differ from each other. The modern scenario may differ from the traditional one. The most important thing is to have fun and be glad for the happiness of the young.

Matchmaking by the bride, what to say to relatives, what to ask the groom's family? Let's answer this question. Do not ask too many questions, this can confuse the young man and his family.

Write down possible topics for conversation in the script in advance. This is necessary so that there are no awkward pauses at the table. Below is a list of topics and questions that can be covered:

  • future plans;
  • the groom's thoughts about what an ideal marriage should be;
  • Favorite leisure activities: hobbies and hobbies.

Avoid talking about financial and personal matters. Remember that the conversation must take place in open, friendly atmosphere.

The groom's side can also talk to the bride. During the conversation, she should behave quietly and modestly. You can not interrupt the elders and raise intonation. On this day, it is important to make a good impression on future relatives.

Competitions for guests

We wrote above that the scenario can be very unusual. Some families arrange funny contests, which we will discuss below.

  1. To hold this competition, you should write in advance on small pieces of paper the various activities that the husband and wife will do after the wedding. For example: swimming with dolphins, drawing on the pavement, going to the solarium together. The guests take turns taking them out and discussing the answers together. The more unusual they are, the more fun the competition will be. Show your imagination!
  2. Guests should remember and sing wedding songs. The winner can prepare a small present in advance. Music brings people together and lifts the mood.
  3. Please your parents, organize a competition for them. Find out in advance the history of their acquaintance and ask questions related to it. This will set all guests in a romantic mood and create an atmosphere of love and warmth.

Folk omens

Not only in ancient Rus' people believed in omens. We very often pay attention to various signs and try to interpret their meaning. Below we give the main signs associated with the tradition of matchmaking.

  • If you meet a man early in the morning, this is a sign that the matchmaking will be successful.
  • The distribution of alms to the needy is encouraged by the people. If you want to receive God's blessing, give money or food to those in need.
  • If a spoon or fork falls on the day of the matchmaking, then your guests are in a hurry to your house.