What is Platonic Love between a man and a woman? Relationships of platonic lovers: transfer to friendship or leave the relationship

Questions of love concern every person throughout his conscious life. The site site offers not only answers to consumer questions, but also touches on various topics of relations between a man and a woman. On this page, our website for consumers touches on the topic of platonic love. What does platonic love mean and does it really exist?

What is true platonic love?

The expression "platonic love" has firmly entered the everyday life of people several millennia ago. By the name of the ancient Greek philosopher, platonic love is called love without physical attraction. According to Plato himself, a person can feel love for the world around him and therefore be happy. The body needs physical intimacy, but the soul, according to Plato, does not need physical love.

However, many modern young people admit the existence of platonic love between a man and a woman. We are talking about close communication of a couple without sexual attraction. Is this really platonic love, or are the guy and girl just friends?

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What is platonic love?

Does platonic love exist today? Such a concept as platonic love between a man and a woman rarely causes positive emotions in the modern world.

If there is no intimate relationship in a couple, and a man and a girl may well create successful couples with other partners, while their participation in the fate of each other, the desire to communicate with each other remain unchanged - perhaps such a couple is not just friends, but they feel for each other platonic love, without romantic overtones. Such examples are extremely rare, but may be familiar to you.

If a man has platonic love, the signs are quite obvious: he will not seek intimate relationships. It is quite enough for him to love at a distance - to communicate, help, support. Whether such a relationship is enough for you, decide for yourself. After all, platonic and physical love in relation to the same person exclude each other.

Is platonic love easy?

But is platonic love so cloudless? From the outside, such a relationship between two strangers by blood may seem unnatural. Indeed, for love, in the understanding of the majority, it is natural to desire not only to talk, discuss, support each other. For most people, love is inextricably linked with physical contact - not just holding hands, touching, kissing. Love is also characterized by the desire for physical intimacy of the couple.

Therefore, platonic love often causes open distrust and ridicule among others. If lack of reciprocity led to platonic love, is it really necessary? Communication with friends and girlfriends will tell you how to get rid of platonic love. Communicate, get acquainted, and over time, a person capable of mutual feelings with you will definitely appear.

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Benefits of platonic love

If heterosexual people have developed a platonic relationship, there are many positive aspects to such love.

During relationships with other women, a man can almost always seek advice from someone he considers his friend. A female unbiased look can save a couple during critical situations. Platonic love enables a man and a woman to calmly communicate on a variety of topics, expanding their horizons.

A male friend can also give his girlfriend valuable relationship advice. An unbiased remark from the outside will tell the girl how not to make a mistake. The platonic love of a man may not interfere with a girl, but on the contrary, help her build a relationship, even with another.

But such a development of the situation is also quite possible, when long-term relationships from the stage of platonic love suddenly cross the line of romantic love, and once friends can become lovers. Well, the nature of people is such that it is impossible to be absolutely sure in one direction or another in the development of relations.

But, if the relationship that is now between you and your intended partner does not fit the definition of platonic love, then perhaps these are other, stronger feelings, perhaps? See our previous text.

Different types of love are quite acceptable between a man and a woman, if they resonate in the soul of people. Consumer Club wants every person to find their soul mate.

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This feeling is considered the highest degree of love. And only the strength of this feeling allows lovers not to cross such a tempting line to another intimacy. But what does platonic love really mean, and why is it so difficult to contain relationships within these fragile confines?

Platonic love of a man is a great value

What is true platonic love?

Opinions on this concept differ significantly. When talking about platonic love today, it is assumed that this is a type of relationship in which two people are close, but avoid sexual intimacy together. Simply put, platonic love is considered a form of true love between heterosexual friends, devoid of sexual relations.

Every time one gets closer to someone one is infatuated with or whose company one loves, one experiences platonic love. And the person hurt by this feeling is struggling not to go beyond the scope of platonic love towards romantic.

The line between these two kinds of feelings is too thin. And if there is no reason to be limited to friendship with a sexually attractive boyfriend or girlfriend, the relationship begins to drift towards romance.

There are so many people in the world who successfully limit themselves to platonic relationships. But do they really love each other very much, or are they just ordinary friends? And if they are so in love, can they still just be friends?

The line between friendship and love is so thin...

It is difficult to experience platonic love today. And not only because a person at some moments “thinks” in another place more than with his head. It's just that quite severe restrictions are imposed on people by society.

For more than two thousand years, the concept of "Platonic love" was explained in its own way by Plato. In his opinion, this is the highest of feelings, based purely on a spiritual attraction to a person and in no way connected with sensual desires. In debates with other philosophers, Plato exemplified spiritual love for his students. But when we talk about platonic love today, it means the connection between the opposite sexes, which should not always be interpreted only in this way.

Plato defined love as "the eternal desire to possess the good." He said that love is the desire to constantly crave things that will satisfy our needs. According to Plato, every human being is an unstable mixture of two halves, body and soul, and each of these parts is defined by two kinds of love. The body craves carnal pleasures and becomes a victim of sexual desires that make a person make physical investments in worldly objects. On the other hand, the soul cares only about noble spiritual love, which goes beyond mere sexual desire. Plato describes love as an intense attraction and longing to be with a certain person or object, yet he is not driven by sexual addiction or carnal desires.

So there is this pure kind of love between two people. Love that goes beyond sexual desire is the platonic love of a man and a woman.

The desire to be together and without physical intimacy ...

Platonic love today

In today's world, affection, handshakes, friendly hugs or kisses are perfectly acceptable between friends. But when people truly love someone, their hearts tremble when they get close, let alone touch. And they can no longer feel satisfied, limiting themselves to simple hugs, and this is meeting, let's say, throughout the year.

Platonic love is difficult to experience because of the restrictions placed on us today. And these same restrictions between friends create insecurity, jealousy, torment the mind and heart.

Can a man and a woman just be friends? They can, but it's much more difficult than it used to be. When a person loves someone, he wants to admire him, hug him, kiss him, because there is no better way to express the prevailing affection that he feels.

What do you know about platonic love? We know a lot

But what is actually acceptable in today's society? Is it possible to kiss or hug a friend without feeling embarrassed because someone will judge you for it? Today, even completely platonic friends end up becoming sex buddies or secretly think about it because they can't understand how they feel.

The mores of society convince people that platonic love and physical intimacy between friends or between two members of the same sex is unacceptable, and is perceived by others as a sexual act. But the human mind is simply not ready to realize this!

Platonic best friends are harder to be because the world can misunderstand the relationship. Such couples are forced to avoid physical intimacy all over the world. And in theory, this avoidance of physical intimacy between friends in society could be the cause of the deterioration of relationships or their final break.

Sometimes feelings for a best friend go beyond ordinary affection...

Poets and romantics have always put romantic love on a pedestal and made mankind believe that romantic love is the most powerful form of love. And society was forced to believe that it was possible to love only one person at a time. And if a person experiences romantic love with someone else, then he should feel awkward.

But it's not right. Everything that a person wants and desires, whether it be another person or a material object, makes him work towards achieving it precisely because of the power of love, making sacrifices, smaller or greater. And if that's not love, then what else is?

An emotional connection is a kind of platonic love. But in a civilized society, feeling passionate about anyone other than your partners is completely unacceptable. This is simply wrong because it threatens the romantic relationship that the person is already in.

People are under the pressure of emotional and sexual sensations. And the best test of the level of feelings can be a simple test of awkwardness: can a person calmly talk about his platonic friend with his partner? Can he tell his partner all the details of a conversation with a close friend without feeling uncomfortable?

A simple test for discomfort can be a heart-to-heart talk

Emotional experiences of this kind are almost always kept in the strictest confidence, because in such a state a person feels uncomfortable, especially in the company of his partner. If he can't talk about it with his partner, then his platonic friendship can get in the way of a happy relationship with a real partner.

Platonic friendship is not bad, but only as long as people stay within their moral limits. But if affection for a friend begins to replace love for one's partner, then a person's personal life will rapidly deteriorate.

Probability of Existence and Rules for Platonic Love

A platonic relationship does not involve only two people. They include the man's partner and the partner of his platonic friend too. Even if these two people are single today and doing great, will it still be the same when one of them becomes romantically involved with another person? Does he feel comfortable watching a movie with his best friend of the opposite sex, with whom he shares a platonic love, while cuddling under the covers? Isn't this a kind of betrayal of a true love partner that has appeared. And will he take it well?

Jealousy for your man's girlfriend can be very strong.

On the other hand, if this partner spends the night with his platonic friend, will his friend react well to this? The monogamous world in which society lives is to blame. People are jealous, they cannot feel at ease in the world of the idealistic worldview that defines Plato's pure love, devoid of sexual desires, no matter how reasonable or intellectual his ideas are.

If a person has a platonic friend, then he will not want their friendship to interfere with everyone's personal life. Therefore, both will have to learn to set the rules. Defining them can be a safe way for platonic love and a happy intimate life to coexist. But it should be remembered that a partner can always add new rules every time he feels uncomfortable.

What does platonic love mean for a man and a woman?

According to Plato himself, love is the desire for eternal possession of the good. If there is someone attractive or something desirable, then a person can always fall in love. This is probably why in a cultural society they combined the words “love” and “passion” and made people not feel these emotions in relation to anyone, but only to romantic partners.

But, even while suppressing these feelings, a person knows that at some point he can feel a surge of love, passion and affection for platonic friends, even if he is not ready to admit or accept it. And once a person understands that he really loves a platonic friend, and his romantic partner knows this too, then won't he feel awkward?

Awareness of one's feelings for an old friend sometimes comes suddenly

The answer to this question a person can give himself only himself. Does he have the emotional potential and is his main relationship stable enough to experience platonic love with a friend and at the same time maintain romantic love with a long-term partner?

After all, platonic love, the meaning of which at first glance seems quite clear, is actually not so simple. Moreover, with a deeper analysis of this phenomenon, even more questions arise than at the beginning ...

Love is platonic

Videos platonic love of a man for a woman

Platonic love, of course, is possible, but only between spouses. "Ladies Home Journal" Ideal love is possible only by correspondence. George Bernard Shaw Platonic love: sex above the ears. Tyra Sumter Winslow Platonic Friendship: In-between... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms

Love, free from all sensuality, ideal. Dictionary of foreign words included in the Russian language. Chudinov AN, 1910. PLATONIC LOVE Supersensual, spiritual love. Explanation of 25,000 foreign words included in ... ... Dictionary of foreign words of the Russian language

Platonic love. Dry love (platonic) only destroys. Wed Platonic love is a smooth, beautiful tray, but without any treats. Davydov (from the notebook of D. V. Grigorovich). Wed I don't know, maybe her words are true, or maybe... ... Michelson's Big Explanatory Phraseological Dictionary (original spelling)

The expression comes from the name of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato (427 348 BC), who, in his work in the form of a dialogue called "Feast", put arguments about this kind of love in the mouth of a character named Pausanias. The latter means by it ... Dictionary of winged words and expressions

The concept that arose on the perversion of the Platonic concept of eros and means love between individuals of different sexes, not associated with sensuality and sensual desires. Philosophical encyclopedic dictionary. 2010 ... Philosophical Encyclopedia

Platonic love- - friendship, affection, camaraderie, love, devoid of sexual feelings. * * * (on behalf of the Greek philosopher Plato and his doctrine of ideal love, unlike earthly love) - heterosexual love affection without eroticism, sensuality ... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

Dry love (platonic) only destroys. Wed Platonic love is a sleek, beautiful tray, but without any treats. Davydov (from the notebook of D.V. Grigorovich). Wed I don’t know, maybe her words are fair, or maybe not; she told me that before ... ... Michelson's Big Explanatory Phraseological Dictionary

Platonic love- love based on spiritual attraction, not associated with sensuality. The name is after Plato. Plato (c. 427 BC - c. 347 BC) ancient Greek philosopher, student of Socrates, teacher of Aristotle. His real name is Aristocles. Plato - ... ... The fate of eponyms. Dictionary-reference

PLATONIC LOVE- The end of the XVIII century. So in the aristocratic salons they were ironic about the love of Empress Catherine II for Platon Zubov. Platonic literal: devoid of sensuality ... Dictionary of the Petersburger

Deprived of sensuality, the inclination of the soul (psyche) to moral beauty, the philosophical desire for knowledge. The concept of P.L. developed by other Greek. philosopher Plato (427 347 BC) in the dialogues Phaedrus and Feast. In modern meaning purely spiritual love ... ... Sexological Encyclopedia

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  • Happy childhood. Retroactive diary, Alexander Barash. The book by the famous poet Alexander Barash (b. 1960 in Moscow, lives in Jerusalem since 1989) is written in the genre of "retroactive diary", as the author himself defines it in the subtitle. Events…

What does the term "platonic love" mean? Does she have a place in the modern world, full of insidious games and virtuoso manipulators?

For the first time, the words about the emergence of “ideal”, crystal clear spiritual relations were heard from the lips of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. The sage described them as a process of ascent to the "contemplation of the divine" or the enjoyment of the Supreme Beauty, which begins as a physical attraction and gradually develops into something more. According to his teachings, man is made up of two important elements: the soul and the body. Each of these parts has its own kind of love.

Sexual desire, which helps to continue the human race and gives erotic pleasure, is the urge of the flesh. Noble feelings of spiritual intimacy of partners are the sphere of influence of the soul.

If carnal love is based on eroticism, passionate love, the desire to possess an object of attraction and receive sexual pleasure, then platonic love is its complete opposite.

The study of the theory helps to understand that, unlike physical attraction, it develops the spirituality of a person. Directs the soul to cosmic processes and high spiritual values, inspires and gives a feeling of bliss.

If the fiery passion narrows the world in the eyes of a person, concentrating on sexual attraction to a particular person, then the feeling of platonic love, on the contrary, expands its boundaries, allows you to go beyond the narrow framework of earthly feelings and get closer to the divine.

But how to understand what platonic love is in the modern world? The definition that Wikipedia offers us describes its signs as elevated feelings based on a person’s romantic sensuality, spiritual attraction without an admixture of base animal instincts and obsession with an object of passion. That is, we can say that this is a disinterested bright feeling in which spiritual values ​​are placed above biological ones.

The attention of a lover moves from external factors (the attractiveness of the body, attachment to the flesh) to the inner world of a person, the beauty and wealth of his soul.

Thus, platonic love is the opposite of carnal love, which is expressed in physical attraction, lust, the desire to possess a partner. Sensual relationship is a synonym that perfectly conveys a deep spiritual connection between people.

Can it be considered the result of unrealized sexual fantasies, immortalized by writers and poets, artists, sculptors and musicians in their works, about which the old Freud so inspiredly spoke?

A modern take on relationships

Psychologists say that in a strong family union, platonic love and the physical (carnal side of life) come together, which allows the couple to overcome the obstacles and difficulties of everyday life, smooth out bumps and not lose mutual attraction after many years spent together.

What does platonic intimacy mean in today's world? The meaning of this term is significantly different from what the ancient sages meant when they talked about the rich palette of human feelings.

In the understanding of a modern person, this is a close relationship of heterosexual couples that do not imply a sexual relationship. Sometimes they border on deep sympathy, affection and even friendship, the search for a soul mate.

Skeptics argue that such a relationship is doomed to failure and sooner or later the attraction disappears, because relationships need constant development. Stagnation at a certain phase indicates a lack of prospects.

But life is much richer and more diverse than a person's idea of ​​it. Many people have experienced from their own experience that it is possible to maintain a deep love affection for a person, even if physical contact with him is impossible due to objective reasons.

People can live in different corners of the earth, but be closer than those who share bed and food with them. Sometimes such relationships move to a new stage if the partners decide to create a full-fledged family.

Such a case is described in many literary works, including in a short story by the wonderful writer Irina Govorukha "Hearts of Three".

“Two front-line comrades looked after my grandmother after the war. Together they dug trenches near Kharkov, were injured, and when they returned, both made an offer. She chose the one that was more fun. The other nodded, saluted playfully, and built a house next door. He visited, repaired the roof, the fence, and even baptized the firstborn. Then the husband became seriously ill and died. The friend waited the prescribed six months, called for marriage, and my grandmother lived with him for another thirty happy years.

If we take into account the classic love triangles, one of which is so masterfully described by the writer, then after a while a sensual spiritual connection can quite easily turn into an intimate one.

Also, each of us can remember the life story of relatives or friends who kept in touch at a distance, maintaining devotion and fidelity to their spouse or spouse.

Quite often, network romances, which originated in the process of correspondence or friendly communication via Skype, virtual flirting and eventually formed mutual sympathy, move into the real plane. Lovers create strong family relationships, the background of which was essentially platonic feelings and moral closeness.

Such cases once again confirm that this is quite possible. And if we take into account the trends of the modern world, its departure from the field of traditional marriage, getting rid of severe public pressure and control over the life of a young couple in the direction of freedom of morals, which make people more accessible to each other, then it can be argued that real intimacy in moral terms without admixture sex exists.

Moreover, it can make a person happier, inspire and, as the father of the theory Plato claimed, direct our souls to high spiritual values ​​and give a feeling of bliss.

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There comes a time in a person's life when he thinks about the meaning of the word "love". Finding it, we will know happiness, understanding and support from the second half. Our ancestors, not without reason, were looking for a cure for the negative aspects of life, a magical elixir that gives a person the ability to pass through any obstacle, dissolving pressing problems. Love is inseparable from the concept of happiness, from which the simple conclusion follows that people are constantly looking for love.

Turning to ancient literary works, one can find a noteworthy legend. Previously, people had a single sex and a strong desire to climb Olympus to the Gods, but Zeus divided them into equal halves. Since then, they have been constantly looking for each other. A beautiful story is closely related to reality. A disinterested and sincere feeling arises for a single person, a soul mate, which is difficult to find among the seven billion people inhabiting the planet.

When does love start between two people? How does it flare up if the object of love is a non-native person? Why sometimes love appears long before physical contact, and in other cases after sex it is still impossible to talk about the presence of a sublime feeling?

An equally interesting issue was the concept of "platonic love". Rare, outlandish animal. The vast majority of people, according to surveys, consider platonic love to be a sign of old-fashioned taste. But negative opinion does not prevent its existence. The persistence of stereotypes has not eradicated belief in this type of love.

The history of the term

The name "Platonic love" comes from the name of the philosopher from Ancient Greece, Plato. In the literary work "Feast", he first raised the issue of harmonious relationships, the existence of which does not require bodily interaction. It is pure love, based on a spiritual connection, not weighed down by sexual attraction. The philosopher was looking for a way to express love, subject only to man. A way to find happiness, not an inanimate object or a wild animal, but human happiness. The philosopher argued that a person occupies a step higher than an animal, the main driving force of which was and will remain instincts. People have the happiness of enjoying the highest good bestowed only on them.

An example of a platonic relationship is the love of a person for the Motherland, a student for a teacher, mothers and children. Not always people come to platonic love of their own free will. Some are hindered by a disease that limits the ability to lead a full-fledged lifestyle, others by religious beliefs, or feelings that flared up in old age.

In other cases, platonic relationships are no more than the initial step on the path to gaining a sublime feeling.

From childhood, parents teach their children a fairy tale about a courageous warrior who is able to perform an unthinkable, frankly insane feat in the name of love. About a beautiful princess, a correct and well-mannered girl, whom the hero reveres as a goddess, and does not think to touch. How is the story related to real life?

In the transitional age, teenagers determine for themselves idols, people who will be given love, they will want to imitate. More often, platonic relationships arise with people with whom communication is impossible for an ordinary person: a musician, writer, blogger, film actor.

History knows a beautiful legend connected with platonic love: Francesco Petrarch's feelings for Laura. The woman acted as a source of inspiration for the poet, encouraged him to work until the last days of his life, despite the fact that Francesco never found the courage to speak to her. He revered her remotely, as a deity, an immaculate and pure angel.

The object of platonic love in most cases does not suspect that he is admired. There are stories about how people confuse such love with friendships.

Platonic feelings are an affordable chance to feel love, to experience with a person, being at the same time in a legal relationship, and not cheating on your soulmate. With age, a person acquires wisdom, realizes that physical contact, the unity of souls, is more important. He analyzes life together with a loved one, and understands that he does not satisfy the desire to talk. Sincerely, it's interesting. Then he finds another interlocutor experiencing mutual attraction. During the dialogue, people understand how much they need each other. This is how platonic love is born. Her subjects have inspiring feelings for each other without running the risk of being caught cheating.

The assertion of the existence between people of different sexes is universally questioned, but this does not negate the fact that they exist. From time to time, the objects of platonic love have feelings that go beyond this concept, but people who respect each other do not succumb to them. Platonic relationships open up many perspectives for people: a person has a friend who differs by gender, who will never condemn or criticize his actions, will always listen and talk with readiness. Support and give advice, consider the conflict situation from a different angle.

Don't be afraid of tension. In a classic situation where you and a friend are heterosexual, it is possible that events will develop as a result of which someone will fall in love with a person who has similar hobbies and views of the world. There is no escape from the law of nature.
Take the time to discuss clearly defined rules. Don't let the idea that romantic relationships begin with friendship grow in your subconscious mind. Mutual agreement that a deep relationship is ruled out for a number of reasons does not rule out the possibility of an unspoken question regarding the development of a love relationship. Marking the boundaries will help to avoid an awkward situation, making it clear that you value friendship, treat each other like close relatives.
Trust your decision. Throw away potential prospects, natural laws and public opinion cannot have a significant impact on your joint choice. No one but you is responsible for it, and if you settled on platonic love, then try to believe in each other.
To get rid of the obsession with abandoning friendships for a fleeting romantic attraction, keep in mind the benefits of a platonic relationship:

They are resistant to the blows of time, due to the fact that people pay attention to maintaining trusting relationships in an emotional and spiritual sense, not excluding the events experienced.
There will never be problems between you that accompany lovers: distrust, doubts.
You are spared the need to wear masks to maintain a favorable impression of each other, because you love spending time together for freedom of behavior.
Platonic relationships allow you to accurately and safely learn more about people of the opposite sex.
You and your friend can at any time look at the nuances in relations with society through the eyes of a person of the opposite sex.
You are provided with a reliable source of sincere and direct advice. The platonic relationship between a man and a woman is freed from the obsessive feeling of rivalry or a tendency to adapt to a comrade, as is the case between persons of the same sex.

If, despite your efforts, you cannot get rid of romantic feelings for a platonic partner, and the desire does not find a response in his heart, it will certainly hurt you, burden your soul with a sense of betrayal by a loved one. Restoring friendship after recognition is almost impossible.

But don't be afraid to get into a platonic relationship. There is a share of beauty in the unity of two souls with a connection that surpasses the earthly and vital, freed from the burdens of romantic and sexual attraction.

March 24, 2014