Children's conflicts in kindergarten. Consultation on the topic: Children's conflicts in kindergarten
Children grow up, learn to walk and talk, get to know and play with their peers, at the same time, the first children's conflicts begin: undivided shovels in the sandbox, quarrels over the rules of the game in kindergarten. At this stage, it is very important that educators and parents show by example how to behave in a confrontation and resolve disputes without aggression and the use of physical force.
Causes of children's conflicts
Conflict is an inevitable part of childhood, so it is impossible to prevent and neutralize all the confrontations that your baby will face. In quarrels with peers, children learn to find compromises, to defend their opinion. All these skills will be useful to grown-up children at school, university and adulthood.
The task of parents and kindergarten teachers is to teach them how to properly defuse the situation without causing physical injury, screaming and tantrums, so that in the future they can feel confident in any team.
It is important to understand the causes and origins of children's quarrels at different ages.
- For example, two- and three-year-olds most often quarrel over unshared toys and destroyed structures. They still do not know how to express their thoughts and emotions, so they often resort to physical force and cry to draw the attention of adults to their trouble.
- By the age of 4-5 years, children communicate better and can find a common language, but at the same time, disputes arise. Very often conflicts arise because of the unwillingness to play together, when one player refuses to indulge the other. As they get older, the preschoolers argue over the rules of the game, its plot, and the "duties" of their characters.
- Children under 5-6 years old do not yet comprehend their emotions and desires, so they are so careless about the wishes and preferences of others. Preschool children do not know how to put themselves in the place of another, they cannot imagine his experiences. That is why the child will always defend his opinion to the last, will speak, instead of listening to the interlocutor. All this leads to disputes and quarrels, when the players cannot find the right model of behavior in situations that require joint activities. Parents should teach children to behave constructively in confrontation.
How not to respond to children's conflict?
- non-intervention This is one of the most common parenting mistakes. If you have taught your child how to behave in a conflict situation by your own example, then you can and should allow him to end the dispute on his own. If he becomes a victim of the aggressor and cannot find a way out of the confrontation without outside help, you need to intervene and calmly end the conflict from the position of an adult.
- Avoidance- also not the best way to resolve children's conflicts. First, going to another kindergarten or to a neighboring playground does not resolve the conflict, but only drags out time until a new crisis occurs. Secondly, the baby does not receive the necessary knowledge on how to defend his position in a dispute, he feels insecure and defenseless. If this pattern of behavior is regularly repeated, the kid will avoid conflicts at school and at work in the future.
- Active confrontation especially popular among impulsive and quick-tempered people who will never let their child be offended. Shouting, lecturing, rudeness, and accusations against the offender will only scare your preschooler, as well as reinforce the incorrect model of ending the argument in his mind. Moreover, according to the law, you do not have the right to punish and educate other people's children and even conduct explanatory conversations with them, this work should be taken over by their parents.
At the end of the article, we have prepared for you a checklist "Children's Complexes: Causes and Ways to Fight." Download it and find out how to avoid psychological problems in a baby.
- Disrespectful attitude towards one's own child often prevents parents from understanding the reasons for the quarrel. No matter how much you love your baby, remember that he can also be the instigator of a quarrel.
- Prohibition to communicate with the offender in most cases it is absolutely not justified. The guys argue and fight very often, but they also put up in a matter of seconds. You do not need to forbid your child to play with the children with whom he quarrels. Separate them for a couple of days and then let them play together again. This period is quite enough for the children to forget about the grievances and restore friendly relations. A ban on communication is really needed only if you are faced with antisocial behavior of one of your baby's gaming companions.
- Public punishment of a delinquent child so popular among kindergarten teachers is unacceptable if we do not want to destroy the child's self-esteem. Any explanatory conversations and punishments need to be implemented in private. Even if the offended demand public punishment, do not let them insult and scold your baby, promise to look into the situation at home.
How to resolve conflicts in children?
Sometimes it's easier than resolving it, but it's not always possible to recognize the signs of a brewing quarrel. Therefore, it is important for kindergarten teachers and parents to build the right model of behavior in case of a conflict between children.
If the personal boundaries of the baby were violated, for example, someone pushed him or took away his favorite toy, you can act as an arbitrator. Ask the offender to apologize and return the selected item or find an adult responsible for the fighter.
In the event of a quarrel, it is important to understand the causes of the conflict. The teacher or parent should ask both children to explain their emotions and desires so that they can understand the reasons for each other's behavior. You need to ask the debaters a few questions that will make them think:
- What caused the dispute?
- Have you tried to resolve the conflict between yourselves?
- How could the quarrel be avoided?
- What did each of you have to do to get what you want without hurting your friend?
- How will you behave next time in a similar situation?
It is important to teach children how to get to know each other correctly, play peacefully and coexist with peers using the example of fairy tales, cartoons, story games. The sooner you teach your child to defend his position in a dispute without insulting or offending a partner, the more confident your baby will feel.
In this review, we examined common cases of conflict situations among children. If your baby became a participant in a fight in kindergarten, read on this topic.
: advice to parents.
Download the checklist "Children's complexes: causes and ways of dealing"
"Here is Vanechka, an excellent student, but you will never be able to do that..." children are their parents. Download the checklist and find out how to rid your baby of the imposed complexes.
Marina Kobzar
Causes of conflict educator-parent, solutions.
Conflict educator-parent. Causes and solutions.
The world is constantly becoming more complex. To maintain the level of competence, it is necessary to learn something all the time, to engage in self-education throughout life. Continuing education is becoming a necessity. The modern family is increasingly in need of a variety of knowledge: medical, pedagogical, psychological, legal. The activities of the teaching staff of the kindergarten cannot remain aloof from the changing situation in society. Working with the family should take into account modern approaches to this problem. The main trend is to educate parents on independent solving life problems. This implies changes in the system " teacher - parent", requires efforts from the teaching staff of the preschool educational institution.
We all know that complete upbringing preschool child takes place under the simultaneous influence of the family and the preschool institution. Therefore, our main task is to make parents become our active helpers and like-minded people.
We often complain that parents are indifferent to our efforts, that they do not want to make contact, that they are not interested in the life of their children. But have we ever thought about the fact that, perhaps, we cannot arrange people for communication, interest, make it so that in kindergartens it is warm and comfortable not only for children, but also for their parents.
caregiver is an employee of a preschool institution who is not only directly responsible for the life and health of the children entrusted to him, but also carries out educational- educational work in accordance with the kindergarten program.
A parent is a "customer" who brings his child to kindergarten and wants to be in it for his beloved (and often an only child) the most favorable conditions were created. Parent has one child (two three). At educator- on average from 15 to 30. And this should also be taken into account, because the amount of personal attention for each child is inversely proportional to the number of children. And he is also interested in providing favorable conditions for children, not forgetting about his educational and educational duties.
Exercise "Apple and Worm"
Sit comfortably, close your eyes and imagine for a moment that you are an apple. Ripe, fragrant, pouring apple, which picturesquely hangs on a branch. Everyone admires you, admires you. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a worm crawls up to you and speaks: "Now I'll eat you! What would you say to a worm? Open your eyes and write down your answer.
Today we will talk to you about conflicts in the system« teacher - parent» . Word « conflict» translated from Latin means "collision".
Conflict is the norm of social life. At the same time, psychologists emphasize the need to create mechanisms for psychological regulation and conflict resolution. Since professional communication in the system "teacher - parent" .
Old English game
Target: revitalize the work of the group, discuss some causes of conflicts.
Content: For this game you will need a small prize for the winner (this can be candy, small toy, souvenir, etc.). Prize requirement one: it should not be fragile, as during the game there is a possibility that it will fall to the floor. The coach packs the prize in advance (wraps it in paper, puts it in a box, ties it with ribbons, seals it with tape, etc.).
Before the start of the game, the group sits in a circle, the chairs are moved as close as possible to each other. The trainer turns on cheerful music and passes a large bundle with a prize to one of the participants sitting next to him. He, having received the bundle, immediately passes it around to the next player, that one to the next, etc. Suddenly, the music stops, and the participant with the bundle in his hands quickly begins to unfold the prize. He can do this until the music starts again. Since the sound of the music the prize is again "travels" in a circle until the next musical break. As soon as the music stops, the participant with the prize in his hands continues to unpack it and, when the sounds of music appear, pass it around in a circle. The prize goes to the one who can finally unfold it and pick it up.
Discussion: After the participants have shared their impressions of the game, the coach asks the following questions: “If you and I were asked to make a film about conflict people on the example of this game, then where and at what moments we could play conflicts? What could cause conflicts? Who could be potential participants and why? (For example, conflict could occur at the moment of stopping the music between the participant who unfolds the prize and the participants sitting nearby. One could accuse the trainer of having a biased attitude towards some of the participants and using it at the moments of turning the music on and off, etc.).
The trainer then asks the participants to answer questions: “How could the instructions for the game be changed to reduce the chance of conflicts?» (Make instructions clearer, introduce some restrictions, etc.) In which case would it be more interesting play: In the first (how we played) or in the second (simulated version?
Causes of conflicts between teacher and parents different: the parent is not satisfied with the position of the child in the team, the attitude towards him educator, organization educational- educational process in general, etc.
What most often can become a reason for misunderstanding and dissatisfaction?
From the side of the parents This:
With a child they do little in the garden;
Do not create proper conditions for strengthening his health;
They cannot find an approach to the child;
Use non-pedagogical methods with the child (moral and physical punishment);
Poor child care (didn’t wipe the snot, didn’t change the panties, didn’t change the dirty T-shirt);
The child is forced to eat or, on the contrary, they do not make sure that he eats everything;
Restrict the freedom of the child;
Often punished and complained about the child if his behavior does not suit educators;
They do not take action against hyperactive and aggressive children, especially if their child has been bitten (which often happens in a nursery, hit, scratched.
At there are educators too"your list" claims against parents:
They are disrespectful to the staff of the kindergarten, they can scold in raised tones in front of the child;
Forget to pay receipts, pay on time for additional classes;
They forget to put a change of clothes in the locker for the children;
They bring children to the kindergarten completely unprepared (without basic self-service skills, not accustomed to the daily routine of the kindergarten);
Late pick up of children;
Badly raise children(excessively indulge or, conversely, do not pay due attention to the child; it is usually very difficult to find an approach to such children);
They make unreasonable claims to the staff, find fault with trifles.
Experts usually distinguish four stages of passage conflict:
Emergence conflict(appearance of contradictions)
Understanding this situation conflict at least one side
Conflict behavior
Exodus conflict
Exercise "Do you need conflicts with parents?» Orally
The group is divided into two commands: one picks up arguments in favor of the fact that conflicts with parents are unacceptable, the other defends the position that conflicts necessary in communicating with parents. Within 5 minutes, each subgroup writes down their arguments, then reads them aloud.
Positive and negative sides conflicts
Positive Negative
Gaining Social Experience
Normalization of morale
Getting new information
Release of tension
Helps clarify relationships
Stimulates positive change Mood of hostility
Deterioration of social well-being
Formalization of communication
Intentional and purposeful destructive behavior
Emotional costs
Deterioration of health
Decreased performance
Conclusion: Thus, we found that conflicts can carry not only negative traits, but also be useful. The most important thing is to be able to correctly resolve them.
Since professional communication in the system "teacher-parent" conceals a number of such situations, the ability to correctly choose a strategy of behavior in conflict situation for the educator is extremely important.
Psychologists offer 5 ways to get out of conflict situations(hand out tables)
Competition (competition) suggests focusing only on their own interests. Complete disregard for the interests of the partner
Avoidance (evasion) characterized by a lack of attention to both their own interests and the interests of a partner
Compromise is an achievement "half" the benefits of each party.
Adaptation involves increased attention to the interests of another person to the detriment of one's own.
Cooperation is a strategy that takes into account the interests of both parties.
In pedagogical practice, there is an opinion that the most effective way out of conflict situations are compromise and cooperation. However, any of the strategies can be effective. Since each has its own positive and negative sides.
Now let's remember your answers from the exercise "Apple and Worm" and relate to ways out of conflict situations.
(N-r: "Now I'll fall on you and crush you"- competition, “Look, what a beautiful pear is there”- avoidance "Well, well, take a bite of half, leave the rest to my beloved owners"- compromise “Such, apparently, I have a heavy share”- adaptation, "Look, there are already fallen apples on the ground, you eat them, they are also tasty" - cooperation).
It is necessary to develop educators ability to positively resolve conflicts and professionally analyze conflict « parent caregiver» ; promote awareness educator of the causes and consequences of conflict.
conflict situations in the process of interaction educator with the parents of the student may occur in different reasons. Before educator DOW is faced with the task of finding the right way out of this situation.
To form the correct ability to behave with parents and communicate without conflicts, I offer a number of exercises.
Exercise "Your suggestions"
Exercise. Formulate and write down a few recommendations for activities that can help rally educators and parents.
Instruction. To complete the task, you must divide into subgroups: each presents its own list of activities and explains the feasibility of their implementation.
Exercise "Presentation conflict situation» .
Target: game modeling of teacher behavior in situations resolve conflicts between teachers and parents. It is necessary to show the outcome of this situation by choosing a role within the group educator and the role of a parent.
Exercise "List of Claims to Parents".
Target: awareness educator the impossibility of building communication on mutual claims.
Instruction: our work involves constant daily communication with the parents of children. Anything can happen in life, we are not always happy with each other, sometimes our closest people cause us negative emotions, our parents do not suit us. Let's analyze our dissatisfaction with the parents of the group and call it a list of claims, we make claims in front of each surname, it is necessary to be extremely frank, because claims can be even the most insignificant, but obligatory specific.
Conclusion: to accept people, you need to understand why they do not suit you.
Exercise "Wish you.".
Target: Develop the ability to communicate kindly with parents.
Instruction: to compliment the teacher sitting next to you, acting as one of the parents of your group. The best compliment is the praise of their child's success.
Psychological charge.
To maintain a stable psychological state for you and your parents, as well as for the prevention of various occupational psychophysical disorders, it is important to be able to forget. As if "wash" from memory conflict situations.
An exercise in erasing an anti-stress situation. Sit down and relax. Close your eyes. Imagine a blank landscape sheet of paper in front of you. Eraser pencils. Slowly draw on a piece of paper the negative situation you want to forget. It may be a real picture. Mentally take the eraser and start sequentially "wash" from a sheet of paper presented the situation. Erase until the picture disappears from the sheet. Open your eyes. Check. To do this, close your eyes and imagine the same sheet of paper. If the picture does not disappear, take the eraser again and "erase" until its complete disappearance. After some time, the procedure can be repeated.
Resolve a controversial issue in the present tense, without mentioning past grievances, conflicts.
Adequately perceive to understand the essence conflict from the point of view of psychological mechanisms - the interests, needs, goals and objectives of the parties. ask more often question: "Did I understand you correctly (understood?"), This will help to avoid mental barriers.
Be open in communication, friendly and strive to create a climate of mutual trust.
Try to understand the opponent's position "from the inside", putting yourself in his place.
Do not speak offensive, degrading words, do not use disappointing epithets. Sharpness begets sharpness.
Be able to reasonably express their intentions in case of dissatisfaction with the requirements.
In moments of triumph over another, give him the opportunity to "save himself", that is, to get out of the situation with dignity.
When eradicating other people's shortcomings, make those shortcomings look easily remedied.
A Short Course in Benevolent Relationships
Six important words: "I admit that I made this mistake".
Five important words: "You did it just wonderful".
Four important words: "And what do you think?"
Three important words: "You advise, please".
Two important words: "Sincerely thank you".
The most important word: "We".
And finally, a little more. Sometimes reviews about kindergartens resemble a program about intrigues, scandals and investigations. Moms and dads spy on caregivers, eavesdrop on what is happening in the group, look for any little thing to find fault with the teacher, because their best child deserves only the best educator. For a scratch, they, at least in words, threaten to "break" or "meet in a dark alley" this " educator"," someone else's aunt "who will never love a child. But after all educator in kindergarten and should not love children as if they were his own. That's why a child has parents. educators do their job, a very difficult job and, in my opinion, worthy of great respect. And if the parent is set to the negative, most likely, according to the law of attraction, he will receive it. Kindergarten is neither heaven nor hell for a child, it is the same stage in his life as a school, an institute, and the ability to build the right relationship with people who work with our children largely depends on how their life will develop in kindergarten.
Bibliography
1. R. S. Nemov Psychology, t -2. - M., 2003.
2. G. V. Lozhkin Practical psychology conflict. - K., 2000.
3. E. M. Semenova Training of emotional stability. - M., 2005.
When compiling the presentation, several slides were taken from the presentation of Safina Olga Andreevna (teacher-psychologist of the MB DOW "Kindergarten No. 209") "Business game"
Conflict situations are an integral part of the life of any person, and kindergarten is no exception. Most people do not like conflict and try to avoid it, but when it comes to children, this is not always possible. By correctly building behavior in the event of unpleasant situations, you can maintain healthy relationships between children, pupils and teachers, educators and parents.
Types of conflict situations in the preschool educational institution
Conflict situations in preschool educational institutions can be divided into several types: conflicts between members of the pedagogical team, educators and parents, between parents, between children. Consider the main reasons for their occurrence.
When it comes to the emergence of conflicts between teachers, the most common reasons are the lack of material and moral satisfaction from work.
Such reasons include the following:
The mutual influence of educators and support staff, when the results of the work of some determine the effectiveness of the work of others. For example, untimely fulfillment of the duties of an assistant educator may adversely affect the regime moments in the preschool educational institution.
Transferring problems that should be solved with management to the horizontal level of relations, for example, the lack of any equipment.
Incorrect or unclear definition of responsibilities in the team.
Often there are conflict situations between the educator and parents. For example, a child is difficult to adapt to new conditions when entering a kindergarten, is naughty, and parents demand increased attention to the baby from the teacher. In some cases, communication between caregiver and parent becomes more difficult for personal reasons.
Such conflict situations can be conditionally divided into two groups: the educator behaves incorrectly or the parents make increased demands on his work. In the first case, you should analyze the situation and try to find a common language with the teacher. It may be worth contacting family members so that they try to smooth out the conflict. You should also find out if other parents are experiencing the same problems. If a solution cannot be found, then you should contact the kindergarten management.
It happens that parents demand special treatment for their child or attention that a public kindergarten teacher simply cannot give. Do not forget that there are about 30 children in the group, and everyone needs an individual approach. In this case, you should think about how to get what you want by sending the child to private kindergartens or studios.
One of the most common causes of conflicts in a preschool educational institution is misunderstanding between parents. It can arise due to organizational issues or when children come into conflict. It is very important not to transfer your own disagreements to children, not to encourage them to quarrel with each other. You should always try to hear the other side and convey your point of view on the situation as correctly and clearly as possible.
Both sides of the conflict must understand that most likely its solution requires a compromise. If there is a conflict between children, then you should listen to them, preferably in the presence of a teacher, and sort out the problem. Not always what the child says is true. If it is not possible to achieve peace with parents, then it is worth designating a framework for communication in which children will not suffer.
A conflict situation in kindergarten between children requires a mandatory solution. Of course, we are talking about a conflict that has dragged on or is often repeated. Children quarrel and make up many times a day, forgetting about it. Therefore, the untimely intervention of adults can create a real long-term conflict.
If children constantly find themselves in the same situations, then they should be shown how to get out of the conflict. This serves as a good training in the ability to listen to the opponent, take into account the interests of others, give in and seek compromises. Conflicts and their resolution is a mandatory attribute of the socialization of children, and parents should help their child in this. It is also important to understand and support your baby, for whom the love and care of parents is very important.
How to behave as a teacher in conflict situations (examples)
Consider the most common conflict situations in kindergarten with examples, and also analyze how to get out of them correctly.
Situation 1
The child brings his toy to the kindergarten and overreacts if it is taken without permission. He can cry, get angry and even fight. So he shows his exclusive right to own the toy.
How should a teacher behave?
The teacher tells how to use other people's toys and insists that you should always ask for permission before taking something. You can not take away by force if the child does not want to share. You can offer the game "Let's agree", when the teacher tracks a predetermined amount of time.
Children need to be supported if they are experiencing rejection, encouraged to find other toys and not act up. You also need to encourage children to share or exchange toys, make sure that no one is offended. You can build a "Magic Box", come up with a fairy tale about it. The box, which stands in a conspicuous place, will store toys that are brought from home and that no one is playing with now.
Situation 2
It is also often difficult for teachers to respond quickly and correctly when a conflict situation arises. Consider the statements of educators if there is a conflict over home toys.
"Don't bring toys if you're not looking after them." Children may lose their toy during a walk or in a group, start acting up before leaving home, from not finding it. The teacher also needs to ensure compliance with the daily routine.
"You're misbehaving - take the toys to the closet." So the teacher can change the behavior of the child.
"Give the toy back, Dima is your friend", "Don't be greedy, it's bad." The educator appeals to moral principles to prevent conflict.
In all these situations, the educator reacts sharply to the undesirable behavior of the child. However, such a reaction does not always lead to positive consequences.
How should a teacher behave?
It is necessary to focus the attention of children on the need to monitor their toys, not to lose them, to find them before leaving home. Note which of the children can do it. You should also analyze what is the reason for the child's frequent contact with the caregiver when the toy is lost.
You should ask children questions about friendship, friends, find out what they mean by these concepts.
When unwanted reactions appear, you need to understand their causes. If there is not enough professional knowledge or experience, then you can turn to another teacher, a teacher-psychologist, take advanced training courses.
Situation 3
An example of conflicts in a preschool educational institution can be situations where the loss of a toy means the loss of a small value, memento or gift. Not only children are upset, but also parents. Often they demand to find a toy, and this disrupts the daily routine, for example, when children should go for a walk.
How should a teacher behave?
To prevent such situations, it is better to discuss their possibility at the first parent meeting. You should ask your parents how they organize the treatment of a home toy on a walk. It may be worth advising parents not to give a toy to a kindergarten if it is especially valuable or expensive. It is also worth noting that the teacher cannot be responsible for the safety of the toy. It is important to maintain goodwill and correctly explain the limits of the educator's responsibility.
Situation 4
The child broke someone else's toy, and the parents are demanding compensation. Should the teacher be involved in the conversation in this situation? We recommend that if there are disputes, ask the parents to clarify it outside the kindergarten. If the teacher takes the side of one of the parents, he may be drawn into the conflict, and this is always undesirable.
Conflicts educator-parent and conflicts in the team
The conflict, as an obligatory component of social life, is also present in the relationship between the teacher and parents. It is extremely important for the educator to correctly build a strategy of behavior in a conflict situation, to find the right mechanisms for resolving conflicts in a preschool educational institution.
First of all, it is necessary to analyze the causes of conflicts. Parents are most often dissatisfied with the following:
little time is spent with the child;
the conditions are insufficient for strengthening his health;
the child is not approached;
punishments are used;
poorly monitor the appearance of the child;
the child is forced or not forced to eat;
the child does not receive complete freedom of action;
it creates problems for educators;
the child may be offended by aggressive or hyperactive children.
Educators also have claims to parents. The most common are:
disrespectful attitude towards kindergarten staff;
inaccurate payment for services;
children do not have a change of clothes, they are not prepared for kindergarten;
the regime of the day is violated when children are taken away late;
requirements are too high.
An analysis of conflict situations in preschool educational institutions shows that the general rules for classifying conflicts apply to them:
the emergence of contradictions;
awareness of the conflict by at least one side;
conflict behavior;
outcome of the conflict.
There are 5 ways to resolve conflicts in the preschool educational institution, according to the general classification of ways out of the conflict:
1. Competition - everyone focuses only on their own interests.
2. Evasion - no attention is paid to one's own interests and the interests of a partner.
3. Compromise - both sides make concessions.
4. Adaptation - taking into account the interests of another person to the detriment of their own.
5. Cooperation - allows you to take into account the interests of both parties.
The most effective ways out of the conflict are cooperation and compromise.
In a team, conflicts may arise between two people, an individual and a group or two groups. As a rule, the course and resolution of conflict situations in a preschool educational institution does not differ from the resolution of conflict situations between parents and educators.
However, teachers should make efforts so that the conflict does not affect their professional activities, as well as the atmosphere in the kindergarten. To do this, you should analyze the conflict situation, perhaps involve leadership for this and find ways out of it.
Conflicts in kindergarten are inevitable, but the success of the functioning of an educational institution depends on how timely and correctly they are resolved. Educators and the leadership of the preschool educational institution should pay attention to the causes of conflicts, eliminate them, and also form the right strategy for getting out of such situations.
After a summer vacation, it is very difficult to join the work process even for us adults, and even more so for children. Maybe that's why our group had problems in communicating with each other? We shoveled a bunch of advice from teachers and psychologists to solve this problem. We found a lot of useful information for ourselves and picked up an article for you by a teacher - psychologist Maria Mitlina. And maybe this article will help us to establish optimal - harmonious interaction in our team.
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Why do conflicts arise between parents and teachers?
“A child and a kindergarten is not an easy topic. You just need to listen to the conversations on the playground to understand this. And the most diverse problems are raised - from which kindergarten is better to go to, to conflicts between parents and educators. Moreover, the last topic causes a huge number of responses "from both sides." But for a child at the age of 4-5, kindergarten becomes a second home, where he spends most of the day. And if we, parents, want the child to feel good and comfortable in kindergarten, we must learn to resolve disagreements and possible conflicts, because the mental well-being of our children is at stake.
A teacher is an employee of a preschool institution who is not only directly responsible for the life and health of the children entrusted to him, but also carries out educational and educational work in accordance with the programkindergarten . A parent is a "customer" who brings his child to kindergarten and wants the most favorable conditions for his beloved (and often only child) to be created there. The parent has one (two, three) child. The teacher has an average of 23 - 25. The composition of groups, by the way, depends on the time of year, it happens that there are about 30. And this should also be taken into account, because the amount of personal attention for each child is inversely proportional to the number of children. And he is also interested in providing favorable conditions for children, not forgetting about his educational and upbringing responsibilities.
So why do conflicts arise between parents and educators? The confrontation between parents and educators, like any conflict, arises due to the fact that one of the parties (more often the educator) does not live up to the expectations and ideas of the other side about "how it should be." The saleswoman in the store was rude to you, you can just stop going to this store. It is much more difficult to change the kindergarten in which your child goes and in which something does not suit you. Just like the educator cannot stop communicating with one of the parents just because he behaves incorrectly. Therefore, it is necessary to resolve conflicts in the kindergarten, and both parties should establish interaction, without taking the position of the guilty and the accused, because the ultimate goal of both the kindergarten staff and the parents is the same - the health and development of the child.
Coming to kindergarten, do not hesitate to tell the teacher as much as possible about your child. So from the very beginning it will be much easier for him to find an approach to the baby. Tell us about what the child is fond of, what games he likes, note about the peculiarities of his temperament, character. Tell him what dishes he prefers and what foods he categorically refuses to eat. How easy it is to fall asleep. Be sure to tell me what you need to pay special attention to. Perhaps the crumbs have some health problems (allergies, some kind of chronic disease).
Instead of expressing dissatisfaction with the fact that tights are not worn in 20 degrees Celsius, one can say that the child has kidney problems and needs warmer clothes.
Feel free to talk about what your child is not yet able to do (begging for a potty, eating on his own, fastening buttons, tying shoelaces). And also about the features of development and character that excite you: for example, the child is very aggressive or too closed and shy. It is better that the teacher immediately knows what in the process of working with the child will need to pay more attention. Remember: the more the teacher knows about your child, the more understanding he will treat him.
It would be better if you talk about the methods of education adopted in your family. Do you force your child to eat or do you have a democratic approach to this issue? What methods of punishment are allowed in your family? It is good if the educator talks about it himself, but not every educator will decide to ask the parents, although such information is often necessary in order to better understand the child.
If your family has strict parenting practices, including physical punishment, be prepared for problems with your child. In the arsenal of teachers there are no belts, and the most severe measure of pedagogical influence that is permissible in kindergarten is to put the child on a high chair, removing him from games and activities, and children who are accustomed to physical punishment may simply not perceive it. Consequently, work with such a child can become a real test of strength for the educator.
Be friendly and polite to the teacher. Unfortunately, some parents do not even consider it necessary to say hello or say goodbye to the teacher, bringing the child to kindergarten.
Do not forget to ask yourself about how the child spent time in kindergarten, what he ate, with whom he played, how he fell asleep during a quiet hour. If you talk about this with the teacher, he will definitely take a closer look at your child during the day, so that later he will be able to answer your questions in more detail. Also, the teacher will be more relaxed about your requests and comments, because in his eyes you will be perceived as a caring and caring parent. It is much more difficult to establish contacts with those parents who remember the existence of a teacher only when something did not suit them.
And finally, a little more. Sometimes reviews about kindergartens resemble a program about intrigues, scandals and investigations. Moms and dads spy on teachers, eavesdrop on what is happening in the group, look for any little thing to find fault with a teacher who will never love your child. But after all, a teacher in a kindergarten should not love children as if they were their own. That's why a child has parents. Educators do their job, the work is very difficult and, in my opinion, worthy of great respect. And if the parent is set to the negative, most likely, according to the law of attraction, he will receive it. Kindergarten is neither heaven nor hell for a child, it is the same stage in his life as a school, an institute, and the ability to build the right relationship with people who work with our children largely depends on how their life will develop in kindergarten».
Instruction
The most difficult conflict is a misunderstanding between parents and educator. It is for this reason that it is necessary to choose not a kindergarten, but a teacher. After all, your baby will spend several hours with him every day and it is very important that contact be established between them.
Be polite and friendly with kindergarten staff. Don't think of them as attendants to cater to your child's whims. Teach your child to respect caregivers and nanny. Never discuss their actions in a negative way in front of the child. In any dispute, listen to all parties. Get witnesses to the conflict. See a staff psychologist.
There are things that the educator has no right to do. He cannot yell at the child (namely, yell, and not just raise his voice). Beat! It is generally prohibited. You can not punish a child by locking him up alone, depriving him of food or sleep. Force-feed (if you haven't discussed it). If there were such cases, even isolated ones, immediately go to the head of the kindergarten and write a statement. Such conflicts should never be hushed up. If such "educational" measures on the part of the staff continue, you have the right to write a statement to the Department of Education of your city. And a special commission will deal with the situation.
But there is an even more difficult situation - a conflict with other parents. Most often it occurs on the basis of quarrels and fights between children. Remember the main rule - no showdown with someone else's child. You have the right to communicate on this issue only with the teacher and his parents. And the other side also has no right to make comments to your child. First, sort out what happened with the teacher. Listen to your child's version (if age permits). And only after that communicate correctly with the parents of the other participant in the conflict.
In a situation where one child terrorizes the whole group, it is better to unite with other parents and bring this issue to the general meeting. If the situation occurs in a private kindergarten, such conflicts are perfectly resolved with the management. After all, it is easier and more profitable to remove one child from the group than to lose 10-15 children.
But even in ordinary gardens they do not want to wash dirty linen in public. And if the child is really aggressive, beats, bites other children, parents may be asked to take the child out of the garden, threatening the guardianship authorities. Yes, these are today's realities that employees of children's institutions must report all significant violations against children to the supervisory authorities.
