Emotional swing. Emotional buildup is an important principle of working with emotions. What do you need to give a man to fall in love

Most men experience discomfort in communicating with women, and it doesn’t matter if this is an acquaintance or further communication. It seems to me that this is a consequence of certain thinking. Somewhere in the depths of their convictions, they feel that they cannot or do not know what to offer the lady. They assume that they do not possess those things that may interest a woman. And worst of all, if they consider these very things material. I want to give you a technique that, if skillfully worked out, will give you what you can offer women of any age, material wealth and demand in society.

What will be discussed now has been tested in practice, and not only by its author, but also by people of different incomes, ages and external data. Remember one rule that is present in all areas of our lives, it sounds like this: "There are men who have the resources to seduce ANY WOMAN HERE AND NOW." Here we will talk about one such RESOURCE. Let's take as a basis that women are emotional beings who want to find a person stronger than themselves. Men also have emotions, and they want to find a girl with whom they will be fine. All of us, the representatives of the stronger sex, like certain women, and the criteria that we use are different for everyone. Imagine that you have a pendulum inside, in which the dead points are above the solar plexus by two phalanges of your middle finger - the first b.t., and also two phalanxes from the navel - the second. At the first m.t. your pendulum contains emotions and feelings that women love very much. On the second - your animal instincts. The purpose of this technique is to swing your pendulum to the maximum. The standard of work of such a penny can be seen in the so-called naturals. These guys are open and direct. When communicating in this format, the girl receives a wide range of emotions and feels an inexplicable attractive force. So how and why does this mechanism work? Firstly, when you speak and act directly in communication, you radiate confidence and strength, under which the girl instinctively wants to conform. This is how leaders act, who sooner or later find themselves at the top of the social pyramid. You do not impose, but offer yourself and your communication, showing your intention beforehand. Women like this behavior very much, it turns them on, the girl experiences a wide range of emotions (for example, the emotions of a high school girl who is in the company of high school students).

So how do you develop this skill? How to make sure that you have something to offer a woman in any situation of your communication with her? First, follow the rule: wanted - done, wanted - done. You saw a girl, and somewhere in the body slipped a feeling associated with your object of admiration. You are left with two choices: the first is to perform some action directed towards the woman; the second also consists in action, but this action does not go beyond the boundaries of your thinking. In the first case, you perform physical actions, in the second - mental ones. The most interesting thing is that both of these actions are directed in the same direction, at one object, but the classifications are very different. Physical actions lead you to success, and mental actions (thoughts, unfulfilled desires) lead to the formation of limiting beliefs, a psycho-emotional depressed state.

Let's look at an example of how a pendulum works in the context of dating. The boy saw the girl, and he liked her. A girl cannot be liked just like that, we feel sympathy for all people for something. So the girl is pleasant to us in some ways: she has a deep and attractive look, a graceful gait that distinguishes her from the crowd, or just a pleasant appearance. All this you do not invent, but you feel. Sensations are the language of women; sensations, unlike logical thinking, are not mistaken. If you had or have this now - this is called “feeling a woman” for the weaker sex, there is nothing more important than recognizing her uniqueness and uniqueness along with the realization that you feel her ...

At first glance, self-confident girls will say that it is easy. She said "buy", "give" and got everything. But experienced hunters for male attention and money know that such a reception will take place only once. After the “offerings” have been made, the man will see through the huntress in the girl and forget about her, as well as about a hundred of the same.

To rock a man for feelings (of course, positive ones), for money and deeds, you need only 2 things: time and tactics. Oddly enough, but it is in this matter that haste and the slightest mistake will betray your true intentions. These conclusions were made by experts from the Institute of Psychology, Sociology and Social Relations.

Rocking on feelings

This is the first in the chain of women's goals. Only after the feelings arise will it be possible to talk about money and deeds. To begin with, let's clarify that you can swing both an already available person and a new acquaintance in approximately the same way. Just remember a few principles:

men are bored. This means that to arouse and keep his interest for the longest possible time is the most important thing. Sergey Avakumov, Associate Professor of the East European Institute of Psychoanalysis, came to this opinion in his research. Starting from the dating stage, it is best to make it clear that you have your own personal life, your own personal space and self-respect. You know what to do when you're without him. On the one hand, it was possible to lie that when he canceled the date, you went to the exhibition, although in fact you sat hugging the cat on the couch. But longing and sadness will be read in your eyes. You risk losing your inner core. Therefore, it is best, left alone with yourself, to really go to the theater, exhibition or circus. New emotions will make your eyes sparkle, you will have something to talk about and the risk of becoming obsessive will drop to zero. And dialogue in the spirit: “Do you like Kipling? - Oh, you rascal! I don’t know… I haven’t tried that yet…” won’t be about you.

Men want to conquer. As for building relationships after meeting, the “swing” tactic, or “one step forward, two steps back,” will be a faithful assistant here. Men see themselves as hunters. This has been unchanged since ancient times. All you need is to give him that feeling.

Example. Yesterday, having kissed you, he decided that this was already a passed stage. So today it's better to slip away from the kiss. Yesterday it was possible to hug you passionately, so tomorrow, we slip out of the hugs, adding the phrase “it seems you are too persistent” or “Yesterday you misunderstood me.” The main thing is not to go too far and the offer “meet me today?” do not answer the man “I would love to, but it’s so cold there. Maybe it's better in the spring?

Guided by the fact that intimacy is never offered, openly (and if you were offered it, then you have already been figured out), it is better for you to react to every openness with a step back. And the longer you arouse the interest and attention of a man, the more points you can attribute to yourself in a relationship.

Swing for money

This is the next stage after interest and attention. The buildup for money at first is not an easy task, requiring accuracy and clear tactics. This includes expensive gifts, buying a car, regular financial assistance, paying for all your needs, and so on.

Another thing is the subsequent buildup (second type) to increase his own earnings, again for your pleasure. These are two completely different things. For example, at the time of your wedding, he was earning $1,000 a month, and it's up to you to pump him up to a salary of $10,000 a month. But for now, we will limit ourselves to the first stage - how to teach a man to regularly spend his money on you.

The main thing is that if you want to receive money from a man, in no case make it clear that you need it. Otherwise, it can happen as in a joke that an excellent student wanted to answer that she had dislocated her arm in two places.

In order not to give yourself away, it is best to take care of your own springboard in advance. Always have money with you for the trip, so as not to ask. Always have a place to sleep so you don't have to ask for your accommodation.

Example. One simple example that will help hide your true intentions is to offer to pay for yourself in the first couple of meetings. When you receive a bill at a restaurant, say something like, "Will you let me pay for myself?" If your intuition did not let you down and you have a wealthy person in front of you, he, of course, will not allow it, but he will think to himself: “She is so cute.” However, at the same time, you really should have a sufficient amount. What we achieve with this phrase: 1. We arouse interest. 2. We do not give out the hunter in ourselves. 3. We check whether it is worth spending time on this man 4. We show that you are not interested in his money, but in himself. According to Nika Adamyan, a researcher at the Laboratory of Visual Electrophysiology and Psychophysics at the University of Aberdeen in the UK, this tactic really works.

When you really need money, even for groceries, in no case do we ask, but simply show with our mood that we are a little worried about something. To a counter question, you can answer without complaints that some difficulties have arisen, but in the near future you will cope with them. An interested man will offer you money without hesitation. And most importantly, to his question whether you have the opportunity to save money, you do not need to answer - there is an opportunity, there is no money.

Rock on deeds

But in this matter, unlike the first two points, time is the worst assistant. Specialists of the Institute of Psychology of the Russian Academy of Sciences are sure of this. From the first days of meeting, planning a long-term relationship, we accustom a man to the fact that you need his help.

Example. At first, you can feel free to ask for a ride in a car, ask for a walk with your dog, ask to arrange a visit by a plumber. For what? Yes, so that a man gets used to the fact that he is your support. Having got used to this thought, he will not hesitate in the future to help you around the house, do the grocery shopping for the week and enthusiastically clean the floors in the house.

“At first it was difficult to do. The exercises seemed far-fetched, difficult. It was not easy to force myself to fulfill them. There were often doubts. But the result of such exercises exceeded all my expectations. Life has become easier!

In the training of emotions, the key to flexibility of the psyche

So, in the theoretical part, we found out why emotional balancing exercises are necessary. These exercises will allow us to develop emotional flexibility - the backbone of health, both physical and energetic.

Why do the Sam Chung Do system and the Norbekov school insist on training the range of emotions? Because it is the key to the flexibility of your psyche. A kind of "stretching" of emotional "muscles". If emotions do not quickly and smoothly move from one mode to another, this threatens with a nervous breakdown, and the result of a breakdown will be a violation of health. Therefore, emotional “flexibility” is simply necessary to maintain health. You need to control your own emotional state.

It lies in the ability, even in peak situations, to keep oneself in a state of inner (almost infantile) serenity, putting destructive emotions on a strong chain. Fear, as a signal, warns of danger, but paralyzes our ability to act if given free rein. Anger perfectly mobilizes our energy resources, but a flash of rage deprives us of reason and provokes us to take erroneous steps.

Reader, do you know what it is to rejoice from the heart, what it is to cry, what is the balance between these states? Have you forgotten what this means?.. Our life is weaning us from the natural expression of feelings. More familiar is the eternal semi-finished state: unhappy, unhappy, inability to relax (without the use of doping like alcohol or cigarettes, etc.).

Well, the sarcastic reader will say, you are all so convincingly scolding the average modern person. Well, what exactly needs to be done? Is there a recipe?

The recipe is not a recipe, but a perfectly acceptable way out. There are exercises for the flexibility of emotions. Like stretch marks for the muscles or the spine. What is the goal, you ask? - Your mood, mood.

MOOD SHOULD BE ABOVE AVERAGE

What should be the optimal mood? Your mood should be slightly above average. Such a slightly positive coloring. It should not be negative (life is not good, you can’t fix anything) or too positive, like rose-colored glasses, a kind of “puppy delight”. Such distortions, deviations occur due to the inflexibility of the emotional range - the inability of emotions to flexibly follow the corresponding thoughts.

It is this ability that we will train now.

First, we will launch the thought into action, setting the mood. And we will strive to ensure that the emotional background slowly catches up with this thought, resonates. To begin with, let's do a little exercise - so that the reader himself feels how dependent our well-being is on our emotional mood.

EXERCISE "MASK"

Recall the saddest, most difficult moments of your life. Cause sadness in yourself, maybe grief. Look at your reflection in the mirror. Give the face an expression of deep sadness, the corners of the lips are lowered, the eyebrows are mournfully drawn together. Your face is a tragic mask. Try to keep this imprint of grief on your face. Now listen to yourself. How do you feel now, at this moment, when you are full of sadness?

How are you feeling? Not very good? .. It doesn't matter, frankly. Grief, fatigue, loss of energy, etc. After strong sad or negative experiences, you feel as if you have been carrying huge stones all day. Old diseases remind of themselves, new ailments are discovered, and so on.

Here come the tears. Enough sadness. Let her come out with tears.

So, down with sorrow and sorrow! Difficulty adjusting quickly? Imagine that you are standing under a small waterfall. A stream of water washes you, taking away all sad experiences, freeing you, giving you strength and vigor! You feel an unshakable calm.

Now - simply and mechanically lift the corners of the lips. Your face is a bit like a laughing theatrical mask. But still! Such a small thing is a smile, and your face immediately becomes friendly, takes on a joyful expression. And let your smile be somewhat artificial. Reinforce this artificial joy with the most pleasant memories for you.

Imagine that in your palms, folded like a ladle, there is water that has dissolved in itself all your joyful experiences, your best moments, all the most pleasant for you. Lower your face into your palms. Feel the influx of joy, feel how joy fills you. Now listen to your feelings. What happened to your smile? Does it look natural?

What has changed in how you feel? If you want to analyze the changes in your feelings, you will notice how cheerfulness gradually appears, you feel much better, there is no hint of a breakdown, etc.

An excellent result, you say, but what is all this for?

WHAT WE LEARNED BY MASK EXERCISE

You managed, rejoicing and sad, to make sure that these states are reflected in your well-being. Such a simple exercise made you understand how much this or that emotional mood can change your well-being.

The exercise also showed us how important it is to be able to voluntarily change the emotional mood. Such a skill is very useful in a difficult conflict situation, it will allow you not to be led by emotions, it will help you overcome the consequences of a shock, get out of a depressive state, and help you manage your mood.

To do this, you need to stretch or, as we say, “shake” emotions.

This is extremely important! It is necessary to eliminate stagnation in your emotional background. It must be flexible and elastic.

Emotional buildup is an important principle of working with emotions. He is very simple.

Emotions are swings. In which direction you direct the swing, only the distance from the equilibrium position is important. It's the same with emotions.

The principle of seduction, given this fact, is as follows:

The most important thing is to bring a man out of balance, no matter in which direction.

Emotional buildup is the same swing. You swing emotions in one direction or the other. You give him positive, then negative. Praise, punish, praise, punish.

You listen, you are carried away by him, you surrender to him, then you stop communicating with him, you start ignoring him, then everything repeats.

In order to swing a heavy person, you never try to get the swing as far away from the balance position as possible, right?

Everything is the same here. In order to shake a great passion, love in him, you need to start with small deviations from the equilibrium position. And it doesn't matter where you start.

You can start with the negative. I like this way the most. It is much easier to bring a person into the negative, if he is predisposed to it, than into the positive. It is much easier to provoke annoyance and provoke him than to please him and please him.

Very often, when men come to me and start whining and complaining about their women, I tell them:

- And let's tell you which women are bad, pour out all the dirt now, think about how good it would be for us without women.

And when they begin to pour out all sorts of dirt, men begin to go positive. They get well. Because they can't be negative.

When he starts swearing at you, when he is unhappy with you, instead of proving to him that you are white and fluffy, do the opposite, this often works very well.

Tell me how bad I am! Tell me everything! Tell me how bad and disgusting life is for you with me, how you don’t love me and don’t want to ...

He will say it. Better shut your ears. In ten minutes, he will apologize for these words and tell you how good he really is. Why?

He spat out the negative. He is already in a balanced state, and now he is beginning to be pulled into a positive. That's why he already loves you. He already likes you. And he starts feeling guilty. And then OP!

Cut the TEARS!

It is unlikely that anyone can react calmly to this matter. Although there is an opinion among men: women's tears are like water.

Trust me. We say this to each other and laugh when it comes to other men who react to women's crying. But every man, believe me, even if he doesn’t show it, he can’t calmly treat them. Therefore, this method is really effective.

Emotional buildup is in many ways similar to the principle of unbalancing in aikido. You can do something with a person only if you unbalance him. The beginning of any technique in aikido is to unbalance the opponent.

Everything is the same here. The method is very similar. Your first rule of communication and influence on a man is to unbalance him. In any direction.

Competition

Now we will consider a very important technique. Creating competition.

Why is she so important?

Competition is one of the basic instincts that every man has. You may not understand this, but take my word for it. Very often we don't care what we compete for. We will do this in principle. The male world also has its own paradoxes.

If I was challenged, it is very difficult not to accept it. And when you start to compete for something, sometimes you forget to evaluate whether it is worth it! All casinos are built on this principle. The only way to make money at a casino is to buy it!

Nevertheless, the gambling business is booming. Competition. A game that is addictive. The man is a player.

There are a number of ways to make a man compete for you. At every stage from dating to the registry office.

Competition has two rules!

1. Always create competition!

2. Never compete!

In this section, we will consider these tasks. I will teach you how to compete for you at different stages of communication and make men swarm around you like bees around a jar of honey!

Natural emotionality Is this your strength or weakness?

The environment of emotionally explosive individuals is trying to write this feature of the psychological constitution into shortcomings. Emotionality and openness is characteristic of children. By this they touch adults, using their childish spontaneity as an excellent tool for manipulation. Caught in the framework of education, adults try to suppress the child in themselves. By doing so, they limit their natural charm and distort their personality. The most interesting thing is that it is mainly positive emotions that can be controlled.. You squeeze your facial expressions, your movements, so as not to seem like an enthusiastic naive fool. But in vain! This is your main condiment.

So, you suppressed positive emotions ... You think: “That's it, an adult aunt with a serious expression on her face!” But no! These beating, overflowing emotions are looking for: “Where would you like to express yourself?” Holding them back is like keeping the lid of a boiling cauldron forcibly closed, preventing the steam from escaping! But sooner or later it will happen, and moreover, at the most inopportune moment. Most likely when your negative emotions cannot be contained. They will break out as reproaches, tantrums, screams. In adult society, it is not customary to laugh out loud and express your affection. But it's quite normal to smoke like a steam locomotive, grab a bottle, antidepressants. It turns out that a nervously smoking woman is the norm, and an open and enthusiastic woman is a fool? Maybe stop bullying yourself?

Let's teach children to express their emotions and use them for their own benefit? Maybe then, instead of calming down, we will look for another joy? Instead of a cigarette, let's sit on a carousel, buy a balloon filled with helium, and release it into the air!

Naive? Of course, it is naive, because you need a man and only then you will calm down! But a man is not a pacifier for a baby! Grow up emotionally first, even if you're far beyond... Otherwise, you will nervously rush from one clumsy attachment to another, looking for a man who will finally calm you down and become EVERYTHING for you. Relax later! And if a man becomes everything for you, then when he suddenly leaves you, unable to withstand such responsibility, then you will be left with NOTHING.

On the one hand, you need to become like children, and on the other hand, you need to keep your head on your shoulders and understand what and why you are doing! Remember what Tamara wrote in "Male Psychology for Intellectual Women"? Immediacy + intelligence = nuclear mixture!