If a girl does not like a guy: signs and main markers. How to understand that a girl is not interested in you

The term "misogyny" (from the Greek misos (disgust) and gyne (woman) did not appear yesterday - back in the last century, the attitude that a woman "does not live up" to a man was taken for granted. Remember the folklore: "Be quiet, woman , your day is the eighth of March", "a chicken is not a bird", "a woman driving is like a monkey with a grenade". And the cinema? Gosha from the film "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears", answering the girl Alexandra's question about her salary, condescendingly says: "Yes, more than your mother." There is nothing to say about male jokes about female logic - just open any social network. It was normal to consider that a woman, by definition, is an order of magnitude worse than a man and many things are inaccessible to her simply because it happened : driving a car, running your own business, a career in big politics.

In the 21st century, the patriarchal model of behavior is no longer perceived as the only one (which, of course, we are very happy about): the Internet has helped to understand that feminists are not at all ugly, masculine women who hate men and prefer to personally lay the sleepers and carry heavy bags from supermarket, a career can be made equally successful regardless of gender, and there is no “female” or “male” logic - there is just logic or its absence, but this also does not depend on gender.

However, despite all the pleasant changes, misogyny has not completely disappeared - discrimination and division of people into the best and worst only on the basis of gender exist. Moreover, not always men seek to discriminate. Women often and with pleasure belittle other women, everything is used - from “I don’t believe in female friendship, I can be friends with guys more” to “it’s my own fault, there was nothing to wear a short skirt and wander around in the dark - of course, they raped me” . Female misogyny looks like a paradox - but what about female solidarity, support, sympathy, after all? - But only at first glance.

Why do women do it

Women tend to distance themselves from other women, to show that they are "not like that" for various reasons. But each of these reasons, alas, is somehow connected with self-doubt.

Privilege

Of course, the 21st century has changed a lot in our lives - a hundred years ago, the mere fact that a woman works and receives money for her work (not on an equal footing with men, but in principle) was revolutionary, and today we are no longer surprised that women pilot airliners and participate in the presidential race. However, even in 2017, Russian society is still quite patriarchal, and men are in a better position than women. And privileges and comfort one way or another desire all people. Remember how it was in childhood? The girl comes to a new school - and tries to make friends not with the outcast sitting at the last desk, but with the most popular girl in the class. In adult life, everything is exactly the same, only in order to receive bonuses from a privileged society, one must be friends not with girls, but with boys. Hence the desire to communicate “only with men” and the desire to ridicule traits that are considered feminine: for example, sensitivity, sentimentality, caution. Being careful on the road means “you drive like a woman”, for which you don’t have to expect any respect from male drivers, “you park like a man” - a reason to be proud of yourself and your dissimilarity to other women.

The division of society into classes - the highest male and female, a little lower, daily contributes to the society itself, provoking misogyny on the part of women. Remember, for example, are men's conversations called chatter? Almost never. Chatter - something insignificant and not very necessary, is considered an exclusively female prerogative, the phrase "male chatter" is practically never found. The division of occupations into men's and women's, professions (despite all the airliners and political campaigns!), Even cars - all this leads to the fact that women try to dissociate themselves from the “woman things” that are not so attractive in society, but the easiest way to do this is behaving like a man - that is, placing himself above women.

Illusion of control

There is another way to get privileges or a comfortable life, or rather, the illusion of such: to divide all women into normal and not so, and join the first.

Example: a recent flash mob in which women spoke about violence. The flash mob turned out to be scary not only because of the stories themselves, but also because of the visual demonstration of how cruel women can be to each other. The girl talks about the rape, and in response she receives “it’s her own fault”, “you came to him with your feet at night”, “so what, this is your husband, of course, he wanted sex”, “there was nothing to dress up like that” - women they openly said that this could not happen to a “decent person”.

A decent or “normal” woman will never go to his house with an unfamiliar man, she will not go home without an escort, she will not get into a taxi at night - she will not be in a situation where she can be harmed. Because it is worth putting on a short skirt or going into an elevator with a stranger - and harm will certainly be done, which was known in advance, and there is nothing to complain about now. The lack of empathy, that is, the ability to empathize with another person, regardless of their gender and degree of guilt, is a separate big topic. In this case, women, explaining to other women why they are “to blame themselves”, are trying to protect themselves: I don’t do this (I don’t drink, I don’t wear tight dresses, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t travel with strangers, etc.) - that means this will never happen to me. The problem is that it doesn't work - control is useless and anything can happen, to anyone, at any moment. But to recognize the fact that they can do harm regardless of “normality” is painful and scary.

Competition

Russia is considered a country of "deficit of men". No wonder - in 2016, 78.5 million women and 67.7 million men lived in our country. That is, for 1,158 girls, according to statistics, there were only 1,000 guys. In such a competitive environment, and given a patriarchal society that dictates that marriage is a sign of an accomplished person, women, of course, are looking for ways to stand out.

One is to distance yourself from other women through misogyny. Hence statements like “pink is a woman’s color”, “I’m not some kind of heifer” and so on. Everything feminine is stupid, but I'm smart, pay attention to me.

Ways to deal with misogyny?

Misogyny directed at you personally is aggression. You can and should fight it, but you should start not with those who show aggression against you, but with yourself. It is quite possible that you are also broadcasting messages to others - friends, colleagues, unfamiliar female commentators on Facebook - that devalue their achievements. “How long can you sit at home like a whore,” said to a mother of two children, or “Only unfortunate, blinkered girls do not want children,” said to a girl who is actively pursuing a career - this is misogyny. It's the unwillingness to acknowledge that all women are different and have the right to be different: they won't get worse because of how many children they have, where they work, how much they weigh, whether they like pink, know how to drive a car or cook. They certainly won't get worse than you.

If you start with the recognition of this right, with attempts to control misogyny in yourself, it turns out that without it it is not more difficult, but much easier to live. For example, it is easier to destroy stereotypes - “This only suits thin girls”, “First give birth - then we’ll talk”, it’s easier to fight for your rights and resist dangerous, but tacitly accepted in part of society, attitudes like “She herself asked for it”. It is easier to create a comfortable life for yourself. We will succeed.

". Today, let's talk about the opposite: how to understand if a woman does not love a man? After all, it is important to understand all aspects of the relationship, and if it happens that a woman turns cold towards you, it is better to understand this as early as possible. This will either help change the situation, or simply save your time spent on a woman who does not love you.

How to understand that a woman does not love you?

Women are different, and they also express their love in different ways. However, there are a few points that still definitely help to clarify what is happening in the relationship. By the way, if the relationship lasts for a long time, this makes it even more difficult to determine the true state of things. After all, over time, feelings and emotions naturally decrease.

#1 The woman becomes closed. Communicate less with your man. He stops sharing some secrets, his problems. For her part, she ceases to be interested in what is happening in the life of her young man.

#2 Sex is rare or non-existent. There is no desire for experimentation. The woman becomes less proactive.

#3 A woman spends more time without her partner. For example, he can go on vacation not with him, but with a friend. Go for a walk alone, etc.

#4 Changes in appearance for the worse. Stops taking care of himself. After all, she no longer wants to please her chosen one.

#5 Kinesthetic is missing. That is bodily touch. As a rule, at the beginning of a relationship there is a lot of it (gentle touches, stroking, kisses).

When a person stops loving (be it a woman or a man), he stops giving his energy in large quantities, becomes more emotionally closed. That is why the amount of sex decreases and its quality worsens, you want to touch your partner less and less. Consequently, there is less and less desire to spend time with him.

Why don't women like good men?

Often, if a woman has fallen out of love with a man, there are many objective reasons for this. For example, he began to drink, began to disrespect his partner, became tough. In a word, he did various things.

There are also paradoxical, at first glance, situations: women do not like good men. However, if you look at this issue from the point of view of psychology, there is a logical explanation:

- Good, intelligent men in Russia may look too weak and unsuitable for a woman to live in the harsh reality of this country.

- A woman lacks emotions, including negative ones. After all, a person without emotions is bored. Moreover, each of us has a dark and light side of personality, requiring both positive emotions and not so much. It's like a pendulum. A good man cannot give such emotions due to his upbringing, attitude, and possibly shyness.

- Sex with a good man turns out to be boring and “correct”. A woman wants, on the contrary, a bad guy who will “press her against the wall” and make her feel strong excitement. Also "bad" they are more prone to variety and experimentation.

The woman had a father who abused her as a child. He scolded her, behaved disrespectfully towards her, possibly beat her. This model of behavior of a man was fixed in her subconscious, and a good guy will never make her feel. The girl will look for a person similar in behavior to her father. Unconsciously, of course.

What to do if a woman says she doesn't love?

Pleasant in this situation is not enough. But you need to approach it with a sober head. Sometimes a woman can simply provoke a man with such words without saying them sincerely. It's like a kind of "get me" game.

If it is clear that the woman is sincere, then the following steps can be taken:

#1 Challenge her to a frank and honest conversation. Ask her to describe her situation in more detail: what happened, why she lost her feelings and when it happened. When you have complete information, it becomes more clear how to proceed.

#2 If you both come to the conclusion that the situation cannot be played back, then accept this situation. If a woman has stopped loving you, it is pointless to waste your life on further disassembly. Find another love and try the past.

#3 In any case, you can remain good friends. It would be ideal.

I wish sincere, pure and mutual love in your life!

Why do women do it

Women tend to distance themselves from other women, to show that they are "not like that" for various reasons. But each of these reasons, alas, is somehow connected with self-doubt.

Privilege

Illusion of control

There is another way to get privileges or a comfortable life, or rather, the illusion of such: to divide all women into normal and not so, and join the first.

Example: a recent flash mob #Impossible to tell, in which women spoke about violence. The flash mob turned out to be scary not only because of the stories themselves, but also because of the visual demonstration of how cruel women can be to each other. The girl talks about the rape, and in response she receives “it’s her own fault”, “you came to him with your feet at night”, “so what, this is your husband, of course, he wanted sex”, “there was nothing to dress up like that” - women they openly said that this could not happen to a “decent person”.

Competition

You have no idea what effect a man of about my size in black satin shorts can have on a woman...

The story of one of the first "thousanders" of "LiveJournal" - Dmitry Gorchev, who is considered the heir to the traditions of Zoshchenko and Kharms

Probably, this work should have been titled: “Why do women dislike me so much”, but I thought that, although the combinatorics of human archetypes is quite large, it is still not unlimited and there is almost certainly at least one poor fellow in the world whom women do not love for the same reasons.

Alas, I myself am not familiar with this poor fellow, since women love all the men I know almost continuously and in huge crowds, knowing their only right place as snackers and trouble-free consumers of their inexhaustible male libido.

To you, dear lucky ones, this “we” in no way applies. I imagine how funny it will be for you to read this highly specialized study.

Besides, when I use the term "women", I certainly mean only those of them whom I know personally. Unfortunately, I am not yet familiar with all of the living women, although I continue to work very actively in this direction.

So, why do women dislike us so much?

First, and above all, they do not like us for the very fact of our existence.

Almost the only way to achieve at least a short-term revival of love is to disappear forever. To do this, it is not at all necessary, and even contraindicated, to hang yourself on a pipe in the bathroom (a woman will say: “Well, a fool,” and she will be absolutely right), a warm farewell with an expression, if possible, of sincere gratitude for the happily spent minutes and wishes of success in later life.

At the same time, it is important to always remember that ten Stanislavskys are not suitable for even the most seedy woman, therefore a deliberate separation in order to awaken love is doomed to complete failure in advance, because nothing but laughter and irritation will cause. We really need to part forever. The problem here is that somewhere in the fourteenth farewell, it will be extremely difficult for you to believe in the seriousness of what is happening.

On the other hand, women do not like when we are not.

They constantly need to have a creature nearby who is directly responsible for all the outrages that happen to them and is the direct culprit of the sad imperfection of this world. After all, someone should be punished if they were doused with mud by a passing car?

The tragedy of a lonely woman is that there is no triumph of justice in her life, and there is no one to answer for the crimes that are happening around.

These are the two cornerstones of women's dislike for us. The rest is nothing more than bricks, but it must always be remembered that in the women's building there is not a single brick that can be removed without the danger of being immediately and hopelessly buried under the collapsed walls. Therefore, there is no hierarchy of the reasons given below.

Women don't like it when we love them.

Indeed - what could be worse than the unchanging dog's devotion in the eyes, annoying kisses inappropriately and the question: "Why are you so sad?" Nothing. Except for the carefully darned underwear of your beloved, washed and hung on the radiator.

By the way, about underwear. About the male, of course.

You have no idea what effect a man of about my size in black satin underpants just above the knee can make on a woman.

I even planned to conduct a special experiment: they put a woman of productive age in a chair and measure her estrogen level in her blood. (Estrogen is the female sex hormone, if anyone doesn't know.)

Then they take me out in these same shorts. I make various physical evolutions, like bodybuilders at a beauty contest, I try to inflate my biceps, hit in the air with my heel to heel ... The woman's estrogen content is re-measured, if it has not yet completely disintegrated into testosterone.

Unfortunately, due to the lack of volunteers, this experiment has not yet been carried out. Too bad, the results could be very interesting.

Women don't love us because we don't love them.

Every minute they take tests from us, make punctures, put experiments on us in order to reveal the weakening of our love for them at a very early stage, sometimes even before it occurs. As a rule, a man, who is not completely devoid of sensitivity, begins to feel not very comfortable at the same time, listening to his own body with horror endlessly - but has he fallen out of love with her?

Women don't like us because we smell.

In general, smells occupy a disproportionately large place in the world of women. If we took smells as seriously, we would never have lived to such an age.

I remember how at two o'clock in the morning I returned through the Arkhangelsk virgin frost to the barracks, fragrant with pre-perestroika cognac "Akhtamar" in payment for the demobilization album, and was met by an icy door with a thick infusion of smells oozing from the cracks from one hundred and fifty men who had not been washed for three weeks bodies laid in two layers; stone footcloths, dried up to boots smeared with an unknown muck, bought by ensign Revyakin from savings instead of shoe polish; burps from rotten cabbage for dinner and mashed peas for lunch clattering back out into the fresh air; his sperm freshly shed in the sweat of his face; abscesses that never heal because of the insensitive rubbish hanging in the air from rocket launches with satellites ...

What do we after that - smell your armpit? Trifle.

However, if we want to find at least a semblance of temporary understanding with a woman, we must learn to navigate this world of smells. We need to endlessly sniff at ourselves and others, breathe into the palm of our hand and ventilate the room.

Women don't like it when we don't smell.

The healthy instinct of the female requires that the man smell like a man. Otherwise, he is only suitable for talking with him about the artist Shishkin. Fortunately, we are not in danger. We almost never succeed in not smelling.

Women don't like us because we drink.

This is obvious and needs no further comment.

Unless, in connection with the above paragraph on smells, it should be mentioned that I was always surprised by the movie "Irony of Fate" - after such a dose of ruff, you can kiss a woman at least a day later, and even then, if you spend this day in a bath of boiling water, because , alas, the fume does not disappear from the salad, even with horseradish.

Women don't like us because we don't drink.

They reasonably believe that in our alcoholic world, a complete teetotaler can be:

a) a hopeless moralist or a homegrown superman who enjoys his superiority over others;

b) terminally ill;

c) a hopeless alcoholic. One of my friends, whose mother was a narcologist, accurately identified alcoholics precisely by their complete sobriety in a drunken company.

Women don't like us for making a career

knowing full well that their place is theoretically second, and in practice sixteenth. Few of them are ready to bear the honorable burdens of a servant of a great man. Yes, and the sublimation of libido in the labor impulse should not be forgotten.

Women do not like us because we lie on the couch and do not strive for anything.

For this means that the best years and beauty that has not yet died will go to this shabby room and lazy type, with whom there is nowhere to go and nothing to wear.

By the way, about "I have nothing to wear tomorrow."

On this occasion, I often imagine the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, exclaiming: “What? In this hat? Yes, I saw off the steamer with our valiant troops in it in the forty-second year! Do you really think that someone has forgotten it?

Long life to you, Your Majesty.

Women do not like us because we listen to their opinion.

One friend said: “You know, I almost married him. But when we went to the store with him and he asked: “Honey, what kind of toothpaste are we going to buy?”, I sent him to dick. What is this guy? Do I have to wipe his snot all his life?

Women do not like us because we do not listen to their opinion.

Well it is clear. Who will like it?

The astute reader, of course, has long understood what I am getting at by citing these pairs of mutually exclusive dislikes. Twenty years ago, I also thought I understood. Fortunately, it passed quickly.

Alas, my dear reader, most of all, women do not like the golden mean, moderation in everything and prudence. If you are incapable of impulse, complete idiocy and recklessness, the very last station alcoholic will turn away from you. Carelessness, immoderation and extravagance - that's our motto. At the same time, it is vital to always have at least a hundred bucks in your stash for unforeseen madness.

Of course, I could list a few thousand more reasons why women do not like us so much, but I have already abused your attention too much. Those who are really interested in questions of dislike will be able to read my fundamental work with graphs, diagrams and a list of references in the very near future.

On the other hand, I sincerely feel sorry for that naive reader who, perhaps, hoped to find here some practical recommendations, like those that are full of magazines for housewives and real men.

Alas, the further I advance in my research, the more I come to the disappointingly banal conclusion thatthere are no rules here. This is pure balancing act, as one of the women put it - "from pebble to pebble - and to the other side."

But we don't need to go to the other side. We want endlessly - from pebble to pebble.

It seems to me that the only reasonable advice is: before headlong rushing into these races, it is useful to build a fire on the shore, prepare a dry blanket and a bottle of something that warms the heart and heals the soul. They will be very useful to you when you, chattering your teeth, get out of the icy water.

However, women do not like us very much because we always have a fallback option. published . If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project .

If a girl does not love a guy, it is almost impossible to immediately notice signs of such cooling. She may continue to maintain a relationship, take care of him and lead a household life, but at the same time not experience the same feelings for him. Fortunately, there are several "first bells" by which you can understand that the girl has fallen out of love.

How to understand that a girl does not love you?

By several criteria it can be determined whether the girl treats her soulmate in the same way or her feelings have cooled down:

Name of the sphere	She loves	She does not like
	She always tries to look sexy, ready for experiments, actively behaves in bed.	Sexual life has become commonplace, more and more often she tries to avoid sexual intercourse.
	She sees them once a month, communicates on social networks and on the phone.	Every evening she spends with her friends and does not rush to return home.
Figure, appearance	She continues to carefully monitor her appearance, at home she always looks irresistible.	She cleans herself up just before going out. At home, her appearance cannot be compared with attractive.
hugs, kisses	It is convenient and comfortable for her to lie with you in an embrace. When meeting and parting, she always kisses you.	Before going to bed, she turns away from you, lying with you is uncomfortable for her. Partings and meetings are rather cold.
Common problems	She is actively interested in your problems, trying to help sort them out. She happily talks about the events that happened to her during the day.	You actively talk about your problems, but she does not take part in the dialogue. She stopped telling you what's new in her life.

All these signs cannot unequivocally state that the girl has fallen out of love. Sometimes it might be associated with depression or malaise.

What do you do if a girl doesn't love you?

You analyzed the behavior of your beloved and realized that she stopped loving you. What to do in this case, if you still love her and do not want to omit?

There may be several options:

Approach the mirror. Look at yourself. Is everything all right there? Perhaps your appearance has noticeably deteriorated lately? Tidy up the figure, start taking care of yourself, always look neat. Women, as well as men, love with their eyes; even dirty shoes can confuse them;
Show to her interest and perseverance, but do it in moderation. Give flowers, cook breakfast in bed, surround her with care. But stop doing it if the girl doesn't reciprocate;
Show her a new side of yourself. You may not have told her about your hidden talents, such as your beautiful voice, sense of humor, or ability to dance;
stop lying and wishful thinking. Most girls don't like liars and bite right away;
Find out from her friends what she has become interested in and match her new hobbies.

If you make attempts to return the girl for several days, but they do not bring the expected result, then, probably, you stopped being interesting girl. Try to leave her alone and find another object of sympathy.

Why don't girls like good guys?

Now you can often see a situation where a beautiful, educated and kind girl meets a man who is not of her level. He can insult her, not pay attention to her, not take care of her appearance, but she will still be with him, rejecting worthy men who show signs of attention to her. Why do most of the fair sex dream of bad guy?

Causes	Descriptions
She loves challenges.	Many girls need new victories. They are not interested in starting relationships with men who will do everything for them. She will choose a man who is not interested in her and will attract him in every possible way.
She wants new sensations.	Meeting with a graduate of the institute, a diligent family man, the girl will plunge into a boring routine. Having contacted a criminal personality, every day it will be filled with new emotions.
	Bad boys are passionate and active in bed. Good boys will not talk about their fantasies, because they will think that his partner will misunderstand him.
She wants new experiences.	She has always been a diligent girl, met with positive men. Now, she wanted to plunge into a new life for her.
She is a strong woman.	Strong women don't like henpecked men. They need the same strong shoulder that can stand up.

In most cases, a girl connects her life with a bad guy with the hope that she can change him. But only a few female representatives carry out their ideas.

What to do if the girl herself admitted that she fell out of love?

Some girls don't want to mislead their boyfriends. If their feelings have faded, they openly talk about it. What to do in such a situation, and how to behave correctly?

In any situation, he will always help to put everything in its place sincere conversation. Find out from her why she made such a decision, that it is possible to correct mistakes in a relationship;
No need to make yourself and her guilty, blackmail the girl. Should take it for granted and move on to the next stage in life;
try forgive her and stay friends, you are not strangers.

The more you accumulate negative thoughts and resentments in yourself, the harder it will be for you to go through the stage of parting.

Why do girls leave guys?

Above, it was about how to understand that a girl has stopped loving, how to return her and how to be in such a situation. But the question of why she decides to leave the young man was not raised.

Exists several reasons why relationships break down:

Starting a relationship with a new young man, the girl imagines how she will go with him to the altar and will raise their common children. If this marriage proposal process drags on, then she will start looking for another potential husband and father for future children;
After a few years of relationship, life becomes routine. Gifts, romantic surprises and signs of attention appear less and less often. A girl may become bored and uninterested in continuing to build relationships;
A beautiful person can meet another, more promising, in her opinion, man.

There are also reasons for parting when a man is to blame himself. For example, he often takes alcohol, raises his hand to his second lady, does not pay due attention to her, and so on.

What kind of men do not leave women?

As it turned out, if a girl does not like a guy, signs of her cooling can be seen in her behavior. Are there any men who have not experienced such situations? Is there a certain type of male that women do not leave?

The answer is obvious this factor is not affected by bad habits, appearance and character. A woman will not leave only that partner who can make her truly happy.

Video: signs that a girl has fallen out of love with you

In this video, psychologist Irina Rozenberg talk about how to find out if a girl loves you, how to understand that her love for you has already faded: