If there are conflicts between children in kindergarten. Conflict situations in dow

Whether the kindergarten will bring joy or problems to the child and parents, oddly enough, depends largely on adults. Uliana Gromova, kindergarten teacher, laureate of the St. Petersburg Prize in the nomination “The Best Educator of the State Preschool Educational Institution” told what parents can and should do to make preschool education the key to a successful and happy life of the child.

- When a child is sent to a kindergarten, does this mean that parents can relax to some extent?

– Before the parents can relax a little, the child and his parents go through a difficult period - a period of adaptation. Separation from the mother is a huge stress for the baby, because until now he was the only one and all the love and attention went to him alone. In kindergarten, conditions are completely different and the more independent the baby is by the time he starts attending a preschool, the easier it will be to get used to it. A difficult period of adaptation becomes for spoiled, dependent children, who, due to high guardianship, are afraid to take any action on their own, especially in new conditions. They will grab onto their mother, afraid to take a step away from her. The more independent the child, the bolder, more confident in himself and his abilities, the higher his cognitive interest. Most likely, such children will not be so afraid of the new environment and will immediately rush to study toys in a group, they will be able to find something to do on their own.

How the first socialization of the child will take place in his first society largely depends on how he will enter the team at school, at the university, at work, how he will communicate with new people at the first meeting, when he grows up.

Ulyana Gromova.jpg

- And what exactly can parents do to make the child more independent and ready for kindergarten?

- Often, parents do not seek to wean the child from many habits that are not characteristic of the age and conditions of the kindergarten: pacifiers, diapers, breastfeeding, unreasonably frequent use of a stroller. All these things are necessary for very young children, but by the time you visit kindergarten, you must say goodbye to this set.

Firstly, weaning from everything that does not correspond to age inhibits the development of many mental, physical and mental processes. Secondly, the abrupt cessation of visiting the kindergarten, which is habitual in the very first days, will increase the stress of the child, who is already at a loss from the absence of mom and dad nearby. After all, the teacher will not be able to offer the baby walks in a stroller.

Also, in order to prepare for kindergarten, it can be recommended to know in advance and accustom the child to the daily routine that will be in the institution. It is advisable to find out what dishes are prepared in the kindergarten to which he will go, and gradually introduce these dishes into the diet. Often children treat unfamiliar food with distrust and fear, refuse it, worry. This can become additional stress, as well as an early rise, if before the first day of visiting the kindergarten, the child got up at 10, 11 in the morning for several years. It is good to tell the child in advance about what awaits him in the kindergarten, to introduce him to future teachers so that he is a little psychologically prepared, and much in the kindergarten corresponded to what his mother told. It really can make meeting new people much easier and will be much calmer for the baby than a sudden change in lifestyle.

- What is special about the period of adaptation to kindergarten and what is the role of parents in this?

– The adaptation period in kindergarten formally lasts a month. At this time, educators do not conduct classes, do not take children to other premises of the children's institution, but help them get used to and adapt to new conditions.

The adaptation period begins with a reduced visit time, then, focusing on the behavior and state of the child's nervous system, teachers and parents decide when it is better to increase the time spent in the group.

A mother who sends her baby to a kindergarten can be advised not to rush to go to work, if possible, or to connect her grandmother to the kindergarten. During the period of getting used to the kindergarten, it is especially important for the baby to have maximum communication with mom and dad at home in order to understand that no one has abandoned him, that he is still loved and that mom will not go anywhere from him, that the kindergarten – it's temporary.

If the adaptation period in kindergarten is only a month, then in reality adaptation takes much longer. For some children, it can be not only months, but even years. Everything is very individual.

the child calmly parted with the parents;
does not worry all day in the garden that they are not around;
use the toilet freely;
does not refuse food;
stop getting sick often.

You should not scold a child who has just started attending kindergarten for tantrums, for returning to old habits (pissing, sucking his thumb, etc.). This is all a manifestation of nervousness, which, unfortunately, will be present for the first time, due to a sharp change in habitual life. The child needs to ensure peace at home and complete acceptance of him as he is, even with tantrums and a full bag of wet clothes. All this is temporary and will pass when kindergarten becomes familiar, everyday, desirable.

But here I want to emphasize that the appearance of a kindergarten or school in the life of a child does not in any way cancel the participation of a parent in upbringing and education. Parents are the main teachers of the child for life!

- Ulyana, what problems can both parents and children face after the adaptation period and what are their causes?

– One of the frequently occurring problems is the difficulties between parents and kindergarten. A lot depends on the initial mood of parents and teachers for constructive communication.

Speaking about the causes of such conflicts, first of all it is worth noting that, unfortunately, the teaching staff is rapidly aging, and parents – they are mostly young, active people. Different approaches to education, different views on life give rise to conflicts.

It must be noted with regret that the profession of educator is now in a deep crisis. The problem of personnel is a problem of society, not a problem of a particular head of a particular kindergarten.

Secondly, many parents already have experience of visiting private children's clubs, where, as a rule, there are few children in the group, working conditions are different, as well as approaches to education. In such institutions there are no requirements: everything as the baby wants. Don't want to draw with everyone? Well, let it hang on the chandelier. The main thing is that he comes here again, and his mother was pleased.

In the state kindergarten, the teacher is placed in more difficult conditions. There are many children in the group, there are time restrictions: daily routine, classes, hygiene procedures, compliance with the requirements of SanPin and many other regulatory documents. The child must do everything a little faster than at home, must keep up, keep up, catch up. Parents' misunderstanding of this sometimes becomes a cause of conflict.

Also, recently, in many families, “permissiveness pedagogy” has flourished, the absence of any requirements for the child. However, the children's team is such that if one is allowed to hang on the chandelier, then in five minutes the whole group of 25 children will do the same. And if the baby throws mashed potatoes on the neighbor’s head, and we don’t react to it in any way, then be sure that the whole group will be in the mashed potatoes at once.
Parents should understand that getting into society, the child must learn certain rules of behavior. Sometimes it turns out that the baby has not yet been explained that it is not necessary to do this, but they are already scolded for it. The child begins to be afraid to show himself, receiving such undeserved censure.

Another example, now there are often children who are constantly fighting, arguing loudly, behaving aggressively towards their peers. Mom believes that this is normal and the period of such behavior will pass sooner or later. Let's look at the position of such a child in the team. The educator, protecting other children, constantly condemns the behavior of such a child, interrupts his aggressive attacks, scolds, the children begin to be afraid of the offender, avoid playing with the fighter, complain about him to parents, parents complain about this child to the educator. A tangle of negative attitudes grows around the child. Perhaps he will have to carry this backpack of an outcast with him all his life if his parents do not start isolating the reasons for such behavior in time, remove aggressive cartoons, computer games from his life, perhaps fights with his older brother, change their wrong approaches to education.

Aggression almost always comes from home. Now, in some families, a sincere conversation using affectionate words like “sun”, “my joy” is completely absent. I recently watched a grandmother talking to her granddaughter. – constant edification, irritation in the voice, rudeness and the absence of any warmth of relationships. “How long will I be waiting for you?”, “I’m already tired of you jumping!”, “I’ll call my dad and mom so that they scold you!” and there was no end to such statements. At the same time, the child did not respond to all claims. But at the same time, he received an example of aggressive communication, which he would certainly bring to the children's team.

Children in such families are like a burden for communication: the child all the time asks for something, wants something, argues, does not obey, annoys, and the adult, instead of wisely switching the situation, begins to show the child an example of destructive communication. "Child – family mirror; like a drop of water reflects the sun, – said V. A. Sukhomlinsky, – thus the moral purity of mother and father is reflected in children.

The increased conflict of some parents lies precisely in nervous tension, and not in what the educator has “done”. One mother came to our garden at the beginning of September this year. She did not see either the group or the teachers and immediately declared to the head: I am very scandalous, I will show you all, you should prepare in advance. Such parents, as a rule, are little interested in the problems of the child, they satisfy their ambitions. They do not need a real reason, they will find fault with everything if the educator in time cannot resist such behavior without conflict and nullify it. And this is not for everyone.

- How can parents cope with these problems, especially if children complain about educators, whose side should they take?

– You know, there is such a joke on the Internet: "Dear parents, do not believe everything your children say about us, then we will not believe everything they tell us about you." The worst option for the development of such a situation is, without knowing the details of what happened, to scold and humiliate the teacher in the eyes of the child.

If the problem is minor, in your opinion, distract the child with something, tell an interesting story. This will teach him at an older age not to dwell on petty troubles. Sometimes the teacher scolds the children for the cause, this is part of the educational process.

Sometimes children fantasize, compose stories and not only about educators, but also about peers, parents. If you show great interest in such a situation, you react violently, ask in detail, show many new emotions that are interesting for the child, then most likely the child will strive every day to bring you many new stories about how Margarita Sergeevna “offended” today. Especially, such behavior is distinguished by children who experience a lack of attention and communication from their parents. They thus draw attention to themselves, even if it is negative. This situation is wrong, first of all, because the authority of an adult who teaches a child something should not be destroyed by a parent, just like the authority of a parent by a teacher! How would you, a parent, leave your beloved child to some "nasty aunt" for the whole day.

If you think that the situation is serious, really requiring your intervention, then promise the child to talk to the teacher about this topic. You should not give initial assessments without knowing how correctly the child conveyed to you the essence of the conflict.
Talk to the teacher calmly, discuss the problem, listen to his opinion, explanation. In the future, if your child is already quite smart, explain why the conflict occurred, what he or another participant in the conflict should have done in order to avoid the situation.

As a teacher, I would advise you to postpone such conversations until the afternoon when you pick up the child. Morning "showdowns" can spoil the mood for both you and the teacher for the whole day. You should not have such conversations in a raised voice, let your emotions cool down. Also, do not have conflict conversations with a child. Otherwise, you give him an example of manifestation of aggression and conflict.

There was a boy Andrei in our kindergarten, he has long been a teenager. Suddenly, he began to constantly tell his mother such stories: “Today everyone was given a banana, but I didn’t.” Mom, after several such stories, without understanding, immediately flew into screams at the educators, who tried to explain something, but were not listened to. The next time the boy told his mother that everyone went to a music lesson, but they didn’t take me, I was sitting alone in the group. At this point, the teacher, mother and child, the three of us began to analyze the situation. Educator: “Well, what about Andrei ?! After all, you were in a bear mask, dancing with Masha. Do you remember?" The boy lowered his eyes and confirmed the teacher's words.
For a child, this is a game, for adults, nervous breakdowns, resentment, frustration. Later, when the boy grew up and went to another group, the teacher gave the following task at a speech development lesson: “Tell me how your mother affectionately calls you at home.” All the children in turn began to share their "home names": hare, sonny, sun, fish ... Andryusha did not answer and began to cry. After the lesson, the teacher called the child to her and asked in private why he was crying. The boy replied: "Mom never calls me affectionately."

Perhaps this is the way it is, or perhaps the child is again playing his favorite role of an unnecessary victim. The reason for this behavior is obvious, the boy does not have enough attention in the family.

- How to determine the point of no return, when it is impossible to cope with conflicts in the garden and the child must be taken away? What is the right thing to do in such a situation?

– Maybe I'm wrong, but there are no points of "no return" in the garden, unless someone wants to create it on their own. We must do our best not to bring the situation to such a point. If 25 parents take their children to this group, and no one has serious conflicts with teachers, then most likely the problem is with you.

No matter how your relationship with the teacher develops, the child should not be a witness and participant in your conflicts. If you trust and respect the teacher, then the child will be happy to go to kindergarten, not to worry and not be nervous. If the teacher really goes beyond what is permitted and you are not the only “victim”, then you should contact the administration of the institution, the garden psychologist, if any, and find ways out of this situation.

Determine exactly if this is a conflict between you and the teacher or a child and the teacher. If this is just your relationship, then you should not transfer the child to another kindergarten, subject him to stress associated with a new adaptation, the loss of old friends. Make an effort on yourself, minimize communication with the teacher, maybe another family member will find more understanding with the teachers. My mom is a teacher. My older brother went to class "B", which was famous for its hooliganism. Teachers have repeatedly offered to transfer her son's mother to another more successful class. But my mother reasoned like this: different people will come across in life and you need to be able to communicate with different people. As a result, the brother studied well and knew how to get along with other guys, no one offended him. After all, the child takes the main example anyway from the family. Family support, proper upbringing give the child self-confidence, good self-esteem, which makes him immune to other people's bad influence.

I also heard this story: “We have a friend, he has a lot of money and he can afford not only a private kindergarten, but also a private nanny, but he takes his children to an ordinary kindergarten. Let them learn to live among ordinary children who will surround them all their lives.” He is guided by the same principle: in adulthood, no one will sort people into categories for his children, he will need to be able to communicate with all people. And this is a very correct decision.

Transferring a child from group to group, from kindergarten to kindergarten, from school to school, we will present him with additional stress, trouble, resentment. But by creating sterile conditions in this way, we will not teach him to communicate, find ways out of difficult situations, use various ways to resolve conflicts. Namely, such an experience is called socialization, the ability to live in a team, interact productively with different people.

Kindergarten is the first society, the first step of socialization. Already here the child receives his first life lessons, you should not protect him unnecessarily, otherwise in adulthood he will be more dependent on you, less independent and less self-confident.

Children grow up, learn to walk and talk, get to know and play with their peers, at the same time, the first children's conflicts begin: undivided shovels in the sandbox, quarrels over the rules of the game in kindergarten. At this stage, it is very important that educators and parents show by example how to behave in a confrontation and resolve disputes without aggression and the use of physical force.

Causes of children's conflicts

Conflict is an inevitable part of childhood, so it is impossible to prevent and neutralize all the confrontations that your baby will face. In quarrels with peers, children learn to find compromises, to defend their opinion. All these skills will be useful to grown-up children at school, university and adult life.

The task of parents and kindergarten teachers is to teach them how to properly defuse the situation without causing physical injury, screaming and tantrums, so that in the future they can feel confident in any team.

It is important to understand the causes and origins of children's quarrels at different ages.

For example, two- and three-year-olds most often quarrel over unshared toys and destroyed structures. They still do not know how to express their thoughts and emotions, so they often resort to physical force and cry to draw the attention of adults to their trouble.
By the age of 4-5 years, children communicate better and can find a common language, but at the same time, disputes arise. Very often conflicts arise because of the unwillingness to play together, when one player refuses to indulge the other. As they get older, the preschoolers argue over the rules of the game, its plot, and the "duties" of their characters.
Children under 5-6 years old do not yet comprehend their emotions and desires, so they are so careless about the wishes and preferences of others. Preschool children do not know how to put themselves in the place of another, they cannot imagine his experiences. That is why the child will always defend his opinion to the last, will speak, instead of listening to the interlocutor. All this leads to disputes and quarrels, when the players cannot find the right model of behavior in situations that require joint activities. Parents should teach children to behave constructively in the face of confrontation.

How not to respond to children's conflict?

non-intervention This is one of the most common parenting mistakes. If you have taught your child how to behave in a conflict situation by your own example, then you can and should allow him to end the dispute on his own. If he becomes a victim of the aggressor and cannot find a way out of the confrontation without outside help, you need to intervene and calmly end the conflict from the position of an adult.
Avoidance- also not the best way to resolve children's conflicts. First, going to another kindergarten or to a neighboring playground does not resolve the conflict, but only drags out time until a new crisis occurs. Secondly, the baby does not receive the necessary knowledge on how to defend his position in a dispute, he feels insecure and defenseless. If this pattern of behavior is regularly repeated, the kid will avoid conflicts at school and at work in the future.
Active confrontation especially popular among impulsive and quick-tempered people who will never let their child be offended. Shouting, lecturing, rudeness, and accusations against the offender will only scare your preschooler, as well as reinforce the incorrect model of ending the argument in his mind. Moreover, according to the law, you do not have the right to punish and educate other people's children and even conduct explanatory conversations with them, this work should be taken over by their parents.

At the end of the article, we have prepared for you a checklist "Children's Complexes: Causes and Ways to Fight." Download it and find out how to avoid psychological problems in a baby.

Disrespectful attitude towards one's own child often prevents parents from understanding the reasons for the quarrel. No matter how much you love your baby, remember that he can also be the instigator of a quarrel.
Prohibition to communicate with the offender in most cases it is absolutely not justified. The guys argue and fight very often, but they also put up in a matter of seconds. You do not need to forbid your child to play with the children with whom he quarrels. Separate them for a couple of days and then let them play together again. This period is quite enough for the children to forget about the grievances and restore friendly relations. A ban on communication is really needed only if you are faced with antisocial behavior of one of your baby's gaming companions.
Public punishment of a delinquent child so popular among kindergarten teachers is unacceptable if we do not want to destroy the child's self-esteem. Any explanatory conversations and punishments need to be implemented in private. Even if the offended demand public punishment, do not let them insult and scold your baby, promise to look into the situation at home.

How to resolve conflicts in children?

Sometimes it's easier than resolving it, but it's not always possible to recognize the signs of a brewing quarrel. Therefore, it is important for kindergarten teachers and parents to build the right model of behavior in case of a conflict between children.

If the personal boundaries of the baby were violated, for example, someone pushed him or took away his favorite toy, you can act as an arbitrator. Ask the offender to apologize and return the selected item or find an adult responsible for the fighter.

In the event of a quarrel, it is important to understand the causes of the conflict. The teacher or parent should ask both children to explain their emotions and desires so that they can understand the reasons for each other's behavior. You need to ask the debaters a few questions that will make them think:

What caused the dispute?
Have you tried to resolve the conflict between yourselves?
How could the quarrel be avoided?
What did each of you have to do to get what you want without hurting your friend?
How will you behave next time in a similar situation?

It is important to teach children how to get to know each other correctly, play peacefully and coexist with peers using the example of fairy tales, cartoons, story games. The sooner you teach your child to defend his position in a dispute without insulting or offending a partner, the more confident your baby will feel.

In this review, we examined common cases of conflict situations among children. If your baby became a participant in a fight in kindergarten, read on this topic.

: advice to parents.

Download the checklist "Children's complexes: causes and ways of dealing"

"Here is Vanechka, an excellent student, but you will never be able to do that..." children are their parents. Download the checklist and find out how to rid your baby of the imposed complexes.

Hello! We also had a conflict with the teacher. You know, I adequately relate to the fact that there is antipathy or sympathy for a person, which is completely inexplicable, therefore I always treated calmly such an attitude towards myself, towards my family and specifically my child, we are all different people We all have our shortcomings. We went to the garden when we were already 4 years old. They received us perfectly, during this period one educator was working (no complaints at all), we still communicate very warmly with her. It was in autumn. Then the second teacher came out (I don’t like people who smile at you too much - you always expect a catch later), which is what I’m talking about. At meetings of parents, I immediately warned that only I provide assistance from our family, since my husband has work until 9 pm. It’s time for winter, it’s time to build a slide, it’s coming up to me: - “I wish your dad would come help build a slide at 5 o’clock, I say he has work until 9, he only gets home at half past ten, well, let him take time off,” I’ll look in response, we can who has time. They forgot about this, time passes, the daughter begged for an ice cube in Mowgli, they bought the most expensive one in the region of 4oo rubles, well, it doesn’t matter. We go with her to the garden on Monday, in the evening she stays with me until 20-30, as I worked in shifts. I ask, as usual, "How did the day go, what did you learn new, how is your mood?" It’s like a butt on my head - “Mom, I wasn’t allowed to ride on the hill today, because my dad didn’t build it, and other children rode on my ice rink.” Naturally, I lost my gift of speech, the day off is every other day, I take it from the garden in the evening, especially closer to 7 o'clock, in order to talk to her face to face. Without being rude, I calmly ask, "Tell me, on what basis do you not let my child ride a hill, firstly, and secondly, who gave the right to dispose of someone else's thing?" In response, I received the answer “Your daughter is lying, you are raising her like that and began to get personal” she leaves at this time, I don’t even know how to behave, I silently digest all this in my head, I say “where are you, we didn’t finish ". She dresses and leaves - "I don't want to talk to you - you make my head hurt!" I’ll have to talk to her, because it won’t go on like this! ”My jaw is on the floor naturally. All this happens one on one, my daughter sent me to the watch, to the bench. The next morning I bring the second teacher comes up, asks what you have I told her, she was shocked by this, but how could she, a teacher with more than 20 years of experience, behave like that? ! In general, I tell her to tell her, please, I won’t run after her about resolving the conflict (and on her part, not mine), let her solve it herself. She takes sick leave on the same day. Then there was a conversation between a psychologist and my child, who confirmed everything I said above, and this was not discussed at all with the child, a conversation with a methodologist, everyone was shocked by her, no one expected this from her, she was always very polite. We live on, she comes out of the hospital, I say hello, she "with a muzzle of a chopper" says hello to me, and that's it, the child is fine, no nit-picking. Didn't blow things up any further. There is a similar situation with another girl, well, there the adult brother of this girl cursed her like that, then her mother also came. The result is she writes a statement on her own. I mean, there are sometimes hidden conflicts, but out of nothing the person himself created it. Our educators are with our children for most of a certain period of their lives, and for the most part they educate them, and we help them. And therefore Always caregivers should have a warm relationship with your child, even if for some reason the caregiver does not have sympathy for the child. Because you are a specialist and a professional in your field, and adequately and well do your job. You can’t do it differently, leave the profession and not hurt the child’s psyche. And do not be afraid of such situations, talk to the educators, it is impossible to agree with the methodologists first, then to the director, but do not leave such situations to chance. It’s good that my child is open with me, tells everything, but there are parents who don’t know anything about such situations with their children. Sorry for the grammar and the large volume, well, the old boiled one was remembered at one time!

- When a child is sent to a kindergarten, does this mean that parents can relax to some extent?

Ulyana Gromova.jpg

- And what exactly can parents do to make the child more independent and ready for kindergarten?

- What is special about the period of adaptation to kindergarten and what is the role of parents in this?

If the adaptation period in kindergarten is only a month, then in reality adaptation takes much longer. For some children, it can be not only months, but even years. Everything is very individual.

the child calmly parted with the parents;
does not worry all day in the garden that they are not around;
use the toilet freely;
does not refuse food;
stop getting sick often.

- Ulyana, what problems can both parents and children face after the adaptation period and what are their causes?

– One of the frequently occurring problems is the difficulties between parents and kindergarten. A lot depends on the initial mood of parents and teachers for constructive communication.

- How can parents cope with these problems, especially if children complain about educators, whose side should they take?

- How to determine the point of no return, when it is impossible to cope with conflicts in the garden and the child must be taken away? What is the right thing to do in such a situation?

Parents should be aware that conflicts between children in kindergarten are inevitable. This is how communication skills are formed, the ability to defend one's opinion. After all, when the baby grows up, he is sent to kindergarten, where he learns to communicate and find a way out of various situations.

Depending on the age of the participants, children's conflicts can have various causes. If, for example, we talk about, then they quarrel, mainly because they do not want to share toys. In addition, tears and crying can occur if someone breaks a turret or tramples on a cake in a sandbox. Not yet having sufficient skills in expressing thoughts and emotions, children begin to fight,. Such actions are aimed at drawing the attention of adults to what happened. The kids want to be pitied.

Growing up, each child already has a more developed speech than before, and is able to better express his thoughts. However, the controversy does not stop. They often quarrel over joint games. Someone does not want to play together with someone or one refuses to adapt to the other. K conflict over what should be the rules of the game, the plot, who will play what role in the game.

Children's conflicts at the age of 4-5 are almost always associated with the game. Games and their rules become more complex, and there is no way to solve everything with the help of compromises. Quarrels arise both during the planning of the game and during the game itself.

It is still difficult for children under 5-6 years old to deal with their emotions and desires. Therefore, they treat what others want without much attention and do not understand that it is important for their peers. Difficulties in relationships are also caused by the fact that the guys are unable to put themselves in the place of another and understand his feelings. Children of preschool age will stand their ground to the last, they will not listen, trying to shout down each other.

All the described causes of disagreement are explained by unformed communication skills. All this can be taught to children. However, the result will be positive only with the joint efforts of parents and kindergarten workers.

Ways to resolve conflicts

In some cases, it is easier to prevent conflict situations than to find a way out of an already heated dispute. However, sometimes it is impossible to even guess about the flaring confrontation between the kids. In this regard, child psychologists recommend that educators and parents try to build the necessary behavior model to resolve the problems that have arisen.

To help children learn to think about their actions, you can ask the following questions:

Why did you quarrel?
Have you tried to resolve the dispute yourself?
What could be done to avoid a quarrel?
What should each of you do so as not to offend a friend, but at the same time get what you want?
If this situation arises again, what will you do?

In order for conflicts in kindergarten to be minimized, certain efforts must be made. In this case, fairy tales and cartoons are very useful. An example of the behavior and actions of a beloved hero will not go unnoticed. The kids, of course, will imitate him, thus learning to get to know each other correctly, to find a common language with their peers.

It is important to teach the crumbs to properly defend their point of view in controversial situations. It should be said that insults and offensive words will not help solve the problem. Offending a comrade can only aggravate the situation. The more correctly the child will fight for his opinion, the more his self-confidence will increase.

Work on the behavior of the baby should begin as early as possible. If, starting from the age of 2-3, they constantly focus on this, then by the age of 4-5 they will be able to resolve conflicts peacefully on their own, without the help of adults. In conflicts at this age, the teacher can intervene only in case of "psychological attacks": the kids scream, stamp their feet, and do not explain anything. However, during this age period, they arrange verbal skirmishes.

Conflict at the age of 5-6 is the use of threats against a friend. Threats usually have the following meaning:

I'll tell the teacher everything!
I won't play with you!
I don't want to be friends with you!

Older preschoolers are already beginning to use rationalizations: “I want it too!”, “I am a driver and I know how to drive a car!” etc. They are already familiar with many rules of conduct and are trying to use them: “We need to share!”, “We must be polite!”. Teasing and name-calling of each other are also not uncommon.

Incorrect behavior of adults during children's conflicts

Many parents and even some educators make serious mistakes by reacting incorrectly to children's conflicts. There are several types of erroneous actions. The most common is non-intervention. If an adult knows that the baby knows how to properly argue, then it is not necessary to intervene. However, it is worth watching what is happening. After all, if the conflict goes into an active phase, and the child cannot cope on his own, it is absolutely wrong to leave this situation without intervention.

Such a method as avoidance is also erroneous. To end the conflict with the teacher or children in kindergarten, parents often transfer their child to another preschool institution. But the problem cannot be solved in this way. Everything will repeat itself after some time when a crisis moment arises. Such a position of parents will not teach the child to resolve disputes on his own, on the contrary, he will consider this the norm and in adulthood he will constantly avoid conflicts, leaving them unresolved.

Impulsive and short-tempered people are prone to such a mistake as active confrontation. They are always ready to go on the offensive, protecting their child, while often they do not understand who is right and who is wrong. This behavior of parents can scare the children. In addition, children may come to the conclusion that this is how conflict should be resolved in kindergarten.

Forbidding to communicate with the offender is not the best way out of the conflict situation. Children (especially of preschool age) are capable of frequent showdowns, but they forget insults and forgive quickly. Unfortunately, there are not isolated cases when teachers in kindergartens punish delinquent children in public. Such punishment leads to the formation of low self-esteem. You need to talk with your child in private.

Before taking any action during quarrels between children, adults should at least take a moment to think. Any wrong decision can negatively affect the future of the child, his adaptation in society.

Conflict prevention

Parents are the first to take care of it. They must understand that it is impossible to completely avoid disagreements between peers in kindergarten. According to child psychologists, this is not worth doing. Entering into a conflict, the baby learns to find a way out of difficult situations, and this is an important prerequisite for successful socialization.

Adults should teach their child how to argue properly. For this purpose . Joint play forms skills such as the ability to distribute responsibilities, act in concert, and look for common solutions. Role-playing games (hospital, shop, school, car wash, etc.) are useful from this point of view. In addition, you can use non-game type tricks. These include greetings and forgiveness, having a dialogue about the experience of the game.

The roles should be assigned by the parent, while the child can be given the opportunity to set the beginning and end of the game. The child should always be listened to carefully, taught to convey their feelings and experiences. Love for the baby should be adequate, that is, you should control your own emotions. The baby should feel that he is loved, but not consider himself special. You need to teach him to make concessions to others.

There is no need to be upset about the fact that the baby quarreled with someone in kindergarten. It is important to be interested in his life and show by example how to behave correctly in conflict situations.