How to distract a teenager from computer games? How to wean a teenager from a computer - important tips for parents to prevent computer addiction in children
Whether we like it or not, it is already impossible to imagine the modern world without computer and mobile technology. And if earlier computers were used more for creating programs and scientific research, today they have become available to any child. Unfortunately, constantly sitting at a PC while completing the next level of your favorite game or chatting on social networks often leads to the so-called computer addiction, which, according to the vast majority of psychologists, is comparable to drug and alcohol addiction. If you do not deal with the problem in time, the consequences can be the most deplorable. This applies to the physical health of your child, and moral. So, is it possible and how to wean a child of any age from a computer? We'll talk about this.
How to wean a child from a computer and is it worth it?
This question has recently become more and more relevant, and there are endless disputes among psychologists on this topic. Today without a computer - anywhere. Note that even in schools, when studying computer science, students one way or another still contact the computer environment. At the same time, they are often the least interested in the subject itself (in terms of using the Internet or playing games, today's children know much more than their teachers).
But at home, the saddest thing begins: the child sits at the computer for hours, without food and sleep, ignoring the world around him. This is the crux of the problem. However, in this case we are not talking about how to close the child's access to virtual reality entirely. In this process, he needs to be limited a little or to show that there are more interesting hobbies in the world. But this should not be done in a categorical form, but gently and carefully.
Some parents mistakenly believe that if a child sits at a computer all day long, then this is a clear sign that a real computer genius or a great programmer will grow out of him. Alas, the percentage of those who have really become such is miserably small. But then the parents begin a real headache about how to wean a child from the computer. Computer addiction can reach such a stage that it will be too late to take any measures. It remains to hope only for the help of a psychotherapist.
The impact of the computer on the health of the student
How do modern computer systems and software affect children? The attack goes on all fronts, affecting the physical and moral health of the user.
When a child spends a lot of time at the computer, first of all, he damages his health. Despite all the statements of manufacturers of modern computer systems about their safety, one can immediately note the effect of electromagnetic radiation emitted by the monitor and the system unit. Of course, now we are not talking about some kind of critical overdose, however, such an impact cannot be discounted.
As a result, eye fatigue begins to appear from constant looking at the monitor, headaches, from being in a sitting position (most often incorrect), a curvature of the spine occurs, the child becomes irritable, he is overcome by stress, when something does not work out, hands may go numb, etc. d.
But the physical symptoms of overwork are not all. Things are much worse with the moral state of children, which, according to psychologists, causes much more harm. It is no secret that a child spends most of his time at a computer playing games or communicating with peers (and not only) in social networks and chats. But the same Internet is full of scammers of all stripes, not to mention extremist groups, banned resources or "adult" sites.
Computer games
Modern games, mostly single and team shooters, are a real threat to the psyche of children. The main goal is to kill as many opponents as possible. The choice of weapons is such that many military will envy.
An adult understands that this is a game, but children with their fragile worldview are able to transfer the plots of games into real life, without really thinking about the consequences of their actions. And they often become tragic. Plus, if the child fails to pass a certain level, or he loses, a tantrum begins, up to breaking the computer, furniture, or everything that is at hand.
Internet and social networks
No less dangerous is the modern Internet. Not to mention sites of dubious content, the World Wide Web is full of resources that are by no means aimed at children, on which militant groups simply “break” the psyche of children, and then they become real kamikazes, organizing terrorist acts “for an idea”.
Even communication in social networks is not so harmless. As a parent, think about it: why does the child spend most of his time in such communication with peers? Yes, only because he can tell them everything in the virtual space, but in real life you don’t have to claim it. In other words, in this situation, when parents begin to decide how to wean a child (of any age) from a computer, you should not forget that, first of all, you need to become his friend. The process, of course, will take more than one day, but then the child can even be called for a frank conversation. Notice the conversation is with a friend, not with a ward. And don't be afraid to let the kids grow up. They like to think they are older than they really are. And constant, excuse me, "lisping" or the position "I'm older, I know better" will only lead to the opposite effect.
Dangerous Entertainment
It would be possible, as one of the options, to offer the child, instead of “hanging out” in the social network or playing outdoor games on the street. There is nothing wrong with that. You can remember the games of your childhood, when you could play football, run around in search of an opposing team, following the instructions of the arrows on the pavement, and even doing some tasks along the way (“Cossacks-robbers”). Why not a quest?
But today, under the influence of the Internet, such games are becoming more and more perverted and often frightening forms. Take, for example, the so-called "groups of death", whose members call themselves whales (by analogy with animals thrown ashore, as stated on the pages, out of desperation). Children fall under the influence of moderators and begin to perform deadly tasks (jumping from high-rise buildings, running across the road in front of fast moving vehicles, cutting their hands with blades and doing god knows what else), and then upload the videos they shot to the public on the Web. And here is something to think about.
Should there be bans?
If you already had to solve the problem “How to wean a child from computer games?”, Take note: prohibitions will not lead to anything good. As you know, action breeds reaction.
So, if you constantly hide the computer, nothing good will come of it. Another thing is that you can set certain hours for a child of primary school age when he can enjoy his favorite game to the fullest. But here it is better to show him the calculation of wasted time by keeping notes in a diary.
If you have children of primary school age, it is advisable to turn off the Internet at home, and if you need it when studying the school curriculum, you can turn it on strictly at certain hours. It makes no sense to completely abandon the use of the World Wide Web. All the same, the child will get access, because modern smartphones are just focused on this.
Some parents use a completely justified tactic: they say, while you were playing, you could already learn tolerably how to play the guitar. By the way, this method is also good for teenagers.
After all, they will soon begin to gather in companies. And what about without a guitar?
On the other hand, teenagers can be offered some alternative to computer reality. Outdoor outdoor games, organized by analogy with computer shooters, will become much more interesting.
Take at least the same paintball. The most real team first-person shooter in real time and with a real opponent.
Another hobby for a child can be interesting books (fantasy, adventure, detective stories, etc.). Of course, today's youth does not perceive literature in paper form. Advise you to contact some literary portal, online library or just download interesting books (fantasy, fantasy) in electronic form. Such a step of the child from reading some literary work will not repel. Let him see, for example, a fantastic action movie, and then point out the inconsistency with the original book (there is always a lot omitted in films). If a teenager is interested in the movie, he will read the book to find out the full plot.
A positive reaction in children is the search for firewood and dead wood to kindle a fire (who did not indulge in matches in childhood) or the joint preparation of the same barbecue, fishing and cooking fish soup. While all this is being prepared, you can also engage in outdoor activities - play volleyball, swim in a pond, etc. Well done Americans who came up with the scout movement. And some analogue of it will obviously not hurt us, especially since in such camps communication takes place between peers in real life, and not through a computer monitor screen.
In general, the topic of joint family cooking and eating is very relevant. At first, this may cause some difficulties, but, as statistics show, after about a month, family lunches and dinners can become a strong tradition.
Sometimes parents are advised to introduce their children to sports, all kinds of clubs or hobby groups. Yes, just buy a subscription to a fitness club or a swimming pool for your child. In general, there are enough methods for ridding children of computer addiction. But with extreme sports you need to be extremely careful.
Lock your computer and set parental controls
Now a few words about the technical moment. Since we use Windows operating systems more, we will consider them. How to lock the computer from children? In the simplest case, set a password to enter the system and enter it so that the child does not see it.
But in Windows 10, you can create a special type of child account without entering an email (you can only enter a mobile phone number if you need to recover it). You must log in for the first time yourself, and when configured, activate daily activity reports, send them by e-mail and block private browsing mode (InPrivate). For children under the age of eight, the mode is disabled by default. Also in the settings you can specify a ban on the launch of individual applications (for example, games). It is also desirable to activate a timer that shows the time that the child spends at the computer, and the location service for his mobile device.
The same is recommended to be done on mobile devices and Smart TV. Although ... by and large, even without knowing the parent account, a thinking teenager will be able to reset all these settings within a couple of minutes. For obvious reasons, these methods are not presented.
Questions of self-realization of the child
Finally, let the child not only feel like an adult, but also seriously engage in some kind of hobby of his own, and not what his parents are trying to impose on him.
You will see, even the most frivolous hobby will still distract your child from the computer for a long time. It goes without saying that he needs to be supported in every possible way in this, to talk on this topic more often, to encourage, to discuss achievements and problems.
What should not be done?
How to block a computer from children, figured it out. Now about what you should not do under any circumstances. You can not turn access to a computer into a kind of market relations.
And then after all, many parents begin to say, they say, you take out the garbage and clean the apartment, and I will let you use the computer. This is not the way out. So, in general, at the very early stage of growing up, a child can be turned into a natural huckster.
Instead of an afterword
It remains to be said that far from all methods have been given here that allow to fully solve the problems that arise, because in each case everything depends not only on the wishes of the parents, but also on the child himself, his character, tastes, inclinations, etc. And of course, one should not rush from one extreme to another, since both absolute freedom of action and a complete ban will not lead to anything good. If nothing helps at all, it is better to contact a professional child psychologist in order to find a way out of the current negative situation together.
How to distract the child from the computer
The computer has become an indispensable attribute of the daily life of every family. And along with this “good of civilization”, parents' fears for the future of their children have increased. According to statistics, every sixth family turns to a psychologist about a child's computer addiction. This dependence, in addition to psychological ones, also creates health problems: dry eyes, sleep disturbance, lack of appetite, headaches, and postural problems. But it is impossible to completely exclude the computer from the life of a child, and it is not necessary.
It should be about dosed and reasonable use of it. How can I do that?
1. Set limits
For children of preschool and primary school age, until their passion for computer games has become a stable habit, you can simply introduce a limiting rule. Allow computer use up to 30 minutes a day with breaks after 15 minutes and not a minute more.
At the same time, turn it on only with the permission of adults. Under the control of parents, there should be options for games for the child. It is best to offer educational and educational games, there are enough options for such games.
2. Help the child return to real life
When solving the problem with older children, the task of parents becomes more complicated if the child has not developed a strong immunity to spending time at the computer by this time.
Virtual reality is attractive for such children, first of all, because there they can realize themselves the way they want, without much loss and trouble. The computer occupies a central place in the life of a child if he does not have friends, or the connection with the real world is broken for various reasons. By playing or chatting on the Internet, he tries to compensate for this.
The task of parents is to respond to this in time and provide real support. It is necessary to find time to talk with the child, to understand his feelings, experiences. Communication with you or just with interesting people should be more attractive for your child than communication with a soulless machine. It is necessary to teach the child to cope with periodically arising problems.
it is necessary to set feasible tasks for him, solving which, the child will increase his self-esteem. The most insignificant successes at the same time should be noticed and encouraged by adults.
Of course, putting this into practice will be much more difficult than just giving up, allowing children to sit on the Internet for hours on end.
3. Full employment of the child
Children should have very little time to be distracted by computer games. This requires maximum employment of the child not in the virtual, but in the real world. Sections, circles, electives can successfully solve this problem.
You can arrange joint small trips in your free time, going to the cinema, the theater, visiting the pool, there are still a lot of all kinds of distracting activities. And, at the same time, the presence and participation of adults in these events plays a very important role for the child.
Fishing, hiking, skiing in winter - all this will bring great pleasure not only to your children, but also to you.
4. Turn the computer into a tool for development
You should not treat your passion for the computer as a completely bad habit. With the right approach, it will become a tool for teaching and improving the child. Offer your son or daughter computer courses that will help them understand that the Internet is not only games, but huge opportunities for development, if used wisely, properly.
And the most important thing! To distract the child from the computer, it is necessary to create such conditions in the family so that the child feels that he is one of the members of a friendly, understanding, loving family, and not just a tenant in the same apartment with his parents.
Alevtina Yutelene
Read 9360 once
“Well, mom, give me a tablet, and I will play quietly and I won’t interfere with you,” seven-year-old Vova says with cunning, knowing his mother’s weak points.
She finally met her best friend, but the mischievous tomboy now and then distracts from intimate conversations. Every five minutes she has to save a dumbfounded cat from the hands of a small owner or wipe up spilled milk. All! Mom's patience has snapped, the boy is already killing computer monsters, and peace and quiet reign in the apartment. "Play only 15 minutes!" - Mom says uncertainly, knowing that she will not take the computer from the baby even in an hour. Who, if not the parents, "give" a little person a computer addiction? And who, if not mom and dad, should be treated from her?
Where does interest in the computer "grow" from?
Before dealing with the problem, it is worth understanding why the child is so sincerely happy about the computer? It's one thing if, for example, he goes to English and the electronic machine only helps him learn a new language. But, such situations, you see, are extremely rare. Shooters, catch-ups - that's what interests a preschooler, older children are also attracted by virtual communication. The colorful computer world quickly absorbs the baby, it is much more interesting there than in real life, where parents are always busy.
Computer babysitter and best friend
“He sits and plays, so I can quickly go to the shower and have time to cook borscht,” mothers sometimes think, turning soulless electronics into a nanny for a baby. The nanny, indeed, reliable, will “look after” the tomboy for an hour or two. Sometimes we ourselves do not notice how we refuse children in live communication, and a laptop, unlike mom and dad, is always ready to “keep company”. Yes, he does not read a book before going to bed, or build a house with a child, and does not answer a lot of “why”. But the baby will quickly forget about these true joys. How to snatch a child from the "paws" of a computer monster?
A computer can be useful for a child for only 30 minutes a day and only during training sessions.
I'm not busy baby!
One has only to tell the child that the mother is not busy at all, is not in a hurry and is ready to take care of his "childish" affairs - half of the dependent children will let go of the mouse and turn away from the screen themselves. Half the work is done, but how to captivate the child? And not for five minutes, but so that the laptop is covered with dust? To begin with, you can recall the advice of specialists, they are, of course, standard, and only a loving mother can apply them correctly to her child.
Courses "Why"
Why is the snow cold, why does dad go to work, why did the neighbors get a dog and why is the milk white - your baby must have asked you all these questions before. It's time to finally answer them.
Intimate talk
A friend of mine noticed that her daughter became withdrawn and sad, she spent hours sitting in front of the computer. As it turned out, the girl heard a quarrel between her parents and for some reason decided that they would divorce. Mom talked with her daughter for two hours, she told her what love is, and why adults quarrel, calmed the baby and dispelled all her fears. Children are often very worried about trifles, but if the parents remain indifferent at this moment, the child will try to distract himself. And a computer is the easiest way to do it.
Puppet theater or car from stools?
Remember your childhood, no computer would have lured you, right? Mom was in a hurry from work to finish sewing toys for a home children's mini-theater, and dad built a car with his younger brother from stools, instead of a steering wheel - a pot cover. Remember the games of your childhood, and, most importantly, become a child yourself, at least for a couple of hours.
We build, we sew, we saw
Children always take on the manufacture of crafts with special enthusiasm, but not standard “garden” gnomes from plasticine, but real useful things. Conduct an experiment: let dad bring boards, get a hammer, nails, and silently begin to make a birdhouse. You don't even have to invite the kid! He will forget about virtual games for a moment and will diligently hammer in nails, of course, under the strict control of his father.
Hockey or dancing?
My niece is eight years old, and she already has a favorite computer game, but she does not have time to play it. She is engaged in ballroom dancing, training - five days a week, a couple of times a month - away competitions. When is it time to play on the computer? Don't have time to take your little one to workouts? The choice is yours: complain about your child's computer addiction or be proud of his next medal.
Hiking or fishing?
How did you spend your last weekend? Were preparing a quarterly report, and did the kid watch cartoons or explore the Internet? Definitely, there is nothing better than a family day out in nature. Hiking with tents, fishing on the lake, fish soup, songs by the fire and funny ball games on the beach - the child will not even remember about the computer. And if it’s winter outside, make snowmen, ride downhill or build snow castles.
We have offered you just a few options for classes that will allow you to "drag" the child from the computer. But how effective they will be depends largely on you.
Radical measures
If the computer has already become indispensable for a child, then playing snowballs or reading an interesting book cannot be replaced. And if the child is still small, then you can go to different tricks, say, say that the computer is broken, remove it or turn off the Internet. Such a gesture of parental will will cause a real hysteria in the child, and this is natural. Computer addiction, according to psychologists, is as strong as drug or alcohol addiction.
If you see that the computer is “absorbing” the child, but you can’t distract him, just remove the “apple of discord”. The mouse was taken away, broken, the Internet was turned off - the explanation should correspond to the age of the addict. The child will cry and get angry. Your task is not to succumb to provocations and not to give vent to emotions.
At first, the child will be confused, what should he do? If new hobbies become only temporary, then try to realize your child's dream, create a new "project". It could be a long-awaited renovation in his room, a family vacation, or raising a puppy. The son must have asked for a dog, right?
To the village to the grandmother
And they went fishing, and glued wallpaper together, but the computer is still a favorite pastime, which means that children's addiction is so strong that traditional methods are powerless. This situation has also developed with the seven-year-old Vova, whom we talked about at the beginning of the article. When he began to have vision problems and mental disorders, his parents sounded the alarm. The boy began to confuse reality and the virtual world. Surprisingly, a 70-year-old grandfather saved a child from modern addiction.
In the very first month of rural exile, the child “thawed out”, forgot about anger and an electronic friend. Miracles? No, it’s just that grandfather showed his grandson true childhood: he allowed him to run barefoot through puddles, taught him to catch frogs after rain, showed him how to dig and spud potatoes, forced him to carry water to the bathhouse, taught him to put fishing nets. In the middle of the holidays, my parents came for the weekend, I had to take my laptop with me. The child every now and then was going to “play a little”, but then he remembered that today they were painting a fence with their grandfather or going to the forest for mushrooms.
What happened when the boy returned home? It was not possible to hide the “enemy”, the boy again plays his favorite games, but only on weekends and strictly for 30 minutes.
We cannot completely eliminate the computer from the lives of our children, but it should not be made the best friend or nanny. How to wean from the computer? Start with yourself! Close the laptop, turn off the TV, put down the phone, forget about the next report, leave the dishes dirty, and the borscht undercooked ... and this is the time to give the baby. Parental attention is a win-win alternative to computer games.
And how do you deal with children's computer addiction or is it not familiar to you?
Sasha, go eat! Now mom...
After 15 minutes, the same phrase... Familiar?
What is he doing now that he cannot control his time and adequately respond to my messages?
Building a new island in "natives", or a collapsed building in "minecraft", urgently in need of restoration, or a friend cannot go to Skype to play together ...
I am a mom of an 11 year old who loves computer games and can talk for hours about... I still can't learn these names.
I worried, fought, punished, encouraged, threatened, thanked, played and studied myself ... And at some point I realized that it was impossible and impossible to prohibit what was around and everywhere. And this is part of life and provides an opportunity not only to spend time, but also to develop specific skills.
I realized that we need a system, a new model of interaction. A system where parents, child and computer will coexist and help each other. And at the same time there will be clarity and understanding: For what? What? With whom? How many?
Yes, I'm not a perfect mom. And if my child prefers to play on the tablet, instead of running in the yard with friends - first of all, this is my omission. But I want my child to grow up as an independent, healthy person, harmoniously developing in different areas.
As a coach, I understand that if you focus on the problem, then in reality this problem will remain so. What should be paid attention to? To make my son want to spend more time thinking about how he can learn to read faster, instead of sneaking around while his mom isn't looking. Or run to the sports section instead of downloading a new version of the next game.
What is important for me, as a mother, in the balanced development of my child?
- Child health- physical and mental. Sitting at a computer or tablet spoils not only vision and posture. It reduces alertness. In difficult and neglected situations, when a child spends several hours a day on gadgets, this is fraught with addictions, neuroses and tears the child away from reality, depriving him of the possibility of normal adaptation with peers.
- Learning and curiosity for new things. Loss of interest in learning and learning new things, lower academic performance are also the consequences of computer addiction.
- Communication with peers- if communication is reduced only to the format “hello, what's new with you in the Natives?” or joint online games - the horizons and outlook of the child is greatly narrowed. He becomes a limited person living in a fantasy world.
So, what did I do to start building a system of our harmonious interaction. Answered questions:
1 step. For what?
Play to develop skills. Modern games help to form:
Strategic thinking;
Vision;
Develop the habit of doing the same thing over and over again.
Anyway, it helped me personally. When my son offered to install the game "Natives" on my phone, saying that it would help me develop the missing skills. Namely, every day to do one simple administrative and control action. At the same time, he was my mentor, he told me what to do and how, and every day he asked: “Did you go to Tuzemsev? Have you collected income?
It made me into the habit of doing the things that I always left for later or put off. So there are benefits from computer games. Tested on myself :)
2 step. What?
I am against violence, shooters - that's why such games are taboo. If the child resists or does not understand - show the consequences of fascism and explain what's what. Games where there is a development of territories, development - yes. And at the same time, speak and ask regularly: What does this game teach you? What new did you build today? What resources did you gain and what does it give you? What development options are possible if you buy or not a new island?
3 step. With whom?
With whom your child communicates about computer games, what, how and how much they discuss. What exactly is he discussing with you? Do you know who he communicates with online? If possible, observe how your child builds relationships with peers, what interests and fascinates them besides games?
4 step. How many?
I set the time - daily 1 hour of games and cartoons, to choose from. It is important to justify why so many. You can read what has already been written on this issue - how long and at what age you can sit in front of a computer, according to doctors - and choose the best option.
This hour of games is possible only after doing household chores and lessons. We have it all spelled out and approved by me and my son. This agreement took several months, and now it hangs on the refrigerator. For violation - a fine: the tablet is taken for a period of 1 to 7 days, depending on the form of the violation. At the same time, it is important to remember the gratitude of the child, and it is imperative to thank and encourage him for his activity and initiative in other matters. For example, I washed the dishes myself, or said a compliment ... I give out hearts when they accumulate 10 pieces - a prize to choose from: McDonald's, a movie ticket, a bonus for an hour of play, etc.
I also identified, together with my son, his weak areas in health, education, relationships. Then we formed simple actions that will develop it in these zones.
5 step. In the field of health. Daily gymnastics for the legs, because he has flat feet. Weekly joint bike rides along a steep slope - this also helps to strengthen willpower.
6 step. In the field of learning and interest to the new- direct attention to how to use the computer to search for new information. When not I give a ready answer or the phrase “I don’t know” to a child’s question. Together we search for information on the Internet. Plus, for developing the skill of speed reading, for example, watch joint lessons and do the exercise together. There is an understanding that the computer is not only for games, but also for finding answers to questions.
7 step. In the area of relationship- obligatory live daily communication with friends. Just push it outside. We walk together, play badminton, volleyball - everything that is available and useful for the whole family.
It is also important to learn to ask sincere questions to the child: how was his day and what was new for him? What brought him the most joy, and what upset him? 15-20 minutes a day of warm communication at dinner or before bedtime - and you will better begin to understand each other and get to know your child from a new perspective.
Today, in our interaction system, the son records daily how long he has been sitting at the tablet, accepts a fine without dispute if a violation has occurred, and tries to spend more time in real communication with friends. He began to read every day and quickly overcomes difficulties. We cook new dishes together, and he himself can cook a light dinner and treat me.
The system is not yet perfect and I want to improve a lot in it. The main thing is that I already see the results, and I understand that everything is possible when you know what you want.
