How to support a man in a difficult situation, what words to cheer him up? How to avoid mistakes while doing this? How to support a man? phrases that can have a striking effect on men

All women are very sensitive, so even a minor turmoil can upset them. At this moment, support is important for girls, especially if it comes from a loved one. How to support a girl when she feels bad?

There are two ways to support a girl in difficult times. The first is moral support, that is, words. The second involves actions that allow a woman to feel the care and protection of a loved one. If everything is done correctly, then you can achieve a quick change in the mood of your chosen one.

• Seeing that the girl is upset about something, it is imperative to find out the reason for this. If a woman wants to tell, then you just need to listen to her, without interrupting, but simply nodding your head. Personal opinion should be kept to yourself. If the girl does not want to tell anything, then in no case should she be forced. You just need to let her cry and be there.
• Do not try to impose your solutions to this problem, to advise something. This is especially true in situations where the solution is complex. Otherwise, the girl will be even more upset, thinking that there is no way out.
• It is necessary to empathize, but only positive emotions should come from a young man. This moment is very important. It is necessary to set up a woman for a positive development of events in the future, that everything will change for the better. Thus, the girl herself will soon believe that everything will be fine.
• Whatever the problem, no matter how small, should not be underestimated. Therefore, such phrases as “it doesn’t matter at all”, “yes, it happened to me a hundred times and nothing” is not suitable. Otherwise, the woman will think that the beloved person does not perceive her problem in any way and it will seem to her that he is simply mocking. And that will create even more frustration.
• Humor is one of the most important components of human life. But it should always be appropriate. If the girl is upset, then you can try to make her laugh, distract her from her problems with an entertaining and comic story. At the same time, you don’t have to be afraid to look ridiculous and ridiculous. You can sing a funny song. Even if the guy does not have a voice, it will only be a plus. If the cause of the experience was a certain person who offended her, then you can try to talk about him in a humorous tone.

Support with words through real communication or correspondence is only the first stage, then physical contact is necessary. It involves light touches, hugs. But in no case should you brazenly pester, this will not only not calm your beloved, but can also destroy relationships.

When a person hugs or touches another, the latter releases oxytocin. This is the name of the hormone, due to which the feeling of interconnection, affection, trust and intimacy increases. You can just hold the girl's hands, stroke her palm, put your hand on her shoulder. These actions will be enough.

You can also cheer up a girl by going to the cinema, bowling or some other entertaining place. Well, if you come up with something truly unusual, romantic for a woman. This will allow you to pleasantly surprise your beloved and distract from resentment.

What should be careful?

The main goal of a man is to support the girl, show her his care, love, protection. Therefore, it is important not to "go too far", but to act very carefully. You have to be careful with jokes. If it is clear that they do not affect the girl, then it is better to stop doing this.

Women always appreciate all the efforts of men to console them, but not every girl loves it, preferring to be alone in difficult moments of life. If a guy sees that she wants to be alone, or a woman speaks so directly about it, then you should leave her. But you don’t need to go far, because she must feel something loved nearby and she can speak out to him at any moment.

• When talking with a chosen one, you must be sincere, patient, kind. Don't ask her to smile or she might get angry. Therefore, you should try to make her smile not at the request, but thanks to a joke, a pleasant compliment, good news.
• In no case should a man molest an upset woman, climb with kisses and other intimate things. In difficult times, the girl wants to be understood, surrounded by care, and not molested.
• You can not ignore your beloved in view of the insignificance of her problem. She must know that the young man supports her, whatever the situation.

How to cheer up a sick girl?

Illness is an unpleasant phenomenon that every person faces more than once in his life. For the fair sex, it is perceived badly, because even a common cold worsens the appearance that they cherish so much. At this point, women usually do not want to be seen by a loved one, especially if the relationship is still developing.

In this case, compliments will be a good way for men to cheer up a sick girl. She needs to do it often. But with pleasant words, you also need to be careful. The compliment should express a comparison of the convalescent state with the sick.

For example, you should not just say to the sick woman: “What beautiful eyes you have,” but should be rephrased as follows: “Today your eyes radiate notes of a healthy princess.” You can also apply such compliments to a man: “Every day your cheeks are getting rosier”, “You may look tired, but you are still the most beautiful girl in the world”

If a loved one fell ill with some serious pathology, then the young man should not show her his feelings. When she is sick, it is necessary to behave positively, set the young lady in the same way, make her believe that everything will be fine.

Throughout the difficult time, the girl should not feel alone for a second. It is important to surround her with care, love, always be there, show how dear and loved she is. All problems come to an end, it is worth understanding and not dwelling on the unpleasant moments of life.

It is great if you are ready to support your partner in any difficulties. The willingness to help each other's personal growth is one of the important conditions for the existence of transforming relationships. But one thing is readiness, and another thing is understanding how this can be done.

If your loved one has embarked on a journey of transformation, this will challenge you as well. You, too, will be rewarded when your partner becomes more calm, open, and loving. This is not only for your peace of mind, but also to help your loved one heal and grow. In addition, it is important for your relationship. We urge you to follow only the advice that seems reasonable and appropriate to you at the moment. Remember: what is useless now can be useful in the future.

Your position matters

When solving problems in a relationship, your position can become a helper or a hindrance. Humans are complex beings, capable of having many different views and emotions at the same time. It is important that you be aware of how you feel about what is happening.

Position number 1. Keep calm. The process of changing a loved one can be like a rollercoaster of fears, hopes, inner struggles, ups and downs. Being a fellow traveler in this race is not the most pleasant experience, especially if you yourself grew up in a chaotic and anxious family. It can often be tempting to force a partner to calm down, despite his inner needs. But this does not always lead to good results.

Position number 2. Express yourself more clearly. Another typical mode of action can be self-sacrifice: a person is ready to endlessly endure and accept everything that happens, as if he himself does not need anything. While this behavior seems heroic, both of you would rather suffer from it than benefit from it. Going out of your way to help a person can make them... Compete with you in "heroism" and/or... Relax and hand over responsibility for what is happening to you. It is hardly possible to consider such results desirable. The alternative is to bring clarity to your relationship. Your main responsibility is to take care of yourself and your own life, and it is up to you to decide how to deal with it. This is helped by the constant awareness of what you need, what you should do, what you can offer at any given moment. For example, you are exhausted by frequent overtime and caught a cold. In this case, bed rest would help. And now, when you were already completely climbed into bed, your partner comes and says that he is not comfortable and needs to talk urgently. You know that such conversations can be exhausting, so you are faced with a difficult choice: support your loved one or go on vacation. It would be best to tell the partner directly what you need and what you can do for him - and insist on the offer. For example, like this: “I would be glad to listen to you now, but I am half dead, and I am of little use today. Let me just hug you now, and we’ll move the conversation to tomorrow morning.” Setting boundaries like this is good not only for you, but also for your partner. He will benefit from the understanding that your support will not be so great that you will later regret it. No less valuable is your belief that your loved one is able to solve their problems. The constant readiness to save a partner undermines his self-confidence. In this way, you seem to be saying: "You cannot do without help, and I will have to go to the rescue." By clearly limiting your actions, you make it clear: "I believe that you can do it."

Position number 3. To be kind. Almost everything in this life is best done with kindness. Kindness fills words and gestures with meaning, gives special depth to conversations, softens disappointment and makes joy more sincere. In intimate relationships, being kind to your loved one and to yourself is even more important. To explain what we mean by kindness, let's first define what kindness is not. Being kind is not the same as being nice. Gloriousness tries to smooth all corners, to avoid any problems. And that means you have to be polite, always stroke the fur and keep the peace. Kindness doesn't want things to go smoothly, it wants to make things better. A good deed may go against the grain or disturb the peace, but it will be dictated by love. The kindness that most affects your relationship is the willingness to accept a person as he is, with all his experiences and feelings. This does not mean that you should approve of all his actions - your kindness does not give him the right to misbehave. Rather, you need to accept the person himself, no matter what happens to him. It is important that you treat yourself in the same way, and not just your loved one. Perhaps you would not like to experience certain feelings and have some habits. It is likely that you want to be more patient or understand your partner better. It's good that you want to change, but it's important to understand that change doesn't happen overnight. They begin with kindness and self-understanding. If you are at war with yourself, with your thoughts and feelings, it will be more difficult for you to understand them and figure everything out. If you treat yourself with respect, it is much easier to see all the internal processes and fix something.

Your efforts don't always work out the way you want them to, and sometimes the right thing doesn't work out. Below is a short list of things you can do to help your loved one when they need support.

Be there

• Show care. Your interest shows interest in the personal growth and happiness of a loved one, makes it clear that you are ready to accompany him on this path.
• You will know what to expect. The way your partner acts and thinks will change, and this will affect the relationship with you. Sometimes the changes will be awkward or awkward, and understanding his intentions will help you figure out what's going on.
• This will help your own growth. Your partner will apply different points of view, techniques and strategies. Some of them are suitable for him, while others will be useful to everyone. The more you learn about what your loved one is doing and what is happening to him, the more you will learn about yourself and your development.
• This is an investment in your joint future. The process of transformation is endless, but it usually has a particularly active period. After active change and growth, there is usually a lull. The new life is normalized and stabilized. Traveling with your loved one strengthens your relationship with every step.

Notice and reward achievements

Professional athletes love "educated fans" who understand the intricacies of the game and understand when to rejoice and shout, and when not to. Musicians and actors also prefer an audience that knows when to applaud. When we have a difficult job, the support of a loving person is like a sip of cool water. Your partner is engaged in a complex, painful and incomprehensible business. Sometimes you will want to take some of the burden of his problems on yourself, but, of course, this is impossible. But you can be there, understand what he is going through, and celebrate his victories with him.

Support your loved one in their relationships with friends

Men and women alike need the support of friends of the same sex. Often people try to satisfy all their needs with the help of a loved one (as if they go to one store for all the goods at once) - having entered into a long-term relationship, they sometimes lose friends. Many nice people fear that their partner won't like it if they waste their time with friends.

A loved one needs your support in relationships with friends. He himself will find like-minded people and will communicate with them, and you can help with your approval and understanding that it takes time to make friends. Remember that men and women build friendships differently and your partner is unlikely to do everything the same way as you would.

It's important to note that we're talking about healthy same-sex friendships. It is not very good (and dishonest) to pretend that you maintain friendships that, in your opinion, only bring harm. We all need mature and adequate friends, capable of sympathy and sound assessment of what is happening.

Take care of yourself too

Your couple consists of two people, each of whom is equally important. It's great if you're willing to support the person you love, but you have to take care of yourself too. What is good for one is good for the other, and at best the needs of both will be satisfied. Here are some ideas on how you can take care of yourself.

• Take care of your health. Absolutely everything - the mind, emotions, intuition, etc. - works best when you are healthy. Don't overlook exercise, proper nutrition, and enough sleep.
• Maintain relationships with friends. The reasons are the same as we mentioned above. The one who helps another needs support himself.
• Join a psychological support group. You may think that you are not the type to go to group psychology classes, but trust me, there are many options.
• Take a course of psychotherapy. So you get a safe environment for conversations and a professional who is ready to listen to you.

Words of support

Relationships can be beautiful and complex or confusing at the same time, especially when a loved one is going through a big change. There is no way to make everything perfect - it's easier to go crazy trying to do everything right. Perhaps frustration, sadness, or depression will alternate with joy, contentment, and clarity. Have fun and find the funny side of everything. This is the best way to support your loved one, strengthen your relationship and improve your life.

Craig English
James Rapson

Comment on the article "How to properly support a loved one"

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Discussion

What if the closest people do not understand you and you feel that you are doomed to cope with all the problems alone? Happy are those who have close friends or relatives who can truly support in a difficult moment. Those who know how to silently listen and give good thoughtful advice, recognizing the right to be imperfect and not judging for mistakes, never uttering the phrase “I told you so!” and “pull yourself together immediately!” It is a pity that such luck falls to a few. Most often in...

Discussion

Well, as usual, everything is in moderation. What kind of grief, in which they did not provide support? Someone died? Is someone sick? Then yes, bastards. But these cases don't happen very often. But if you want to “simply speak out” and be patted on the head continuously, then for such purposes you really need to hire a specially trained person and pour out to him for money and productively. Thoughtful advice given by professionals. And from the usual "relatives and relatives" you want a lot.

Baby, everything should be handled by professionals! You don't go to a locksmith buddy when your tooth hurts! You go to the dentist, pay a penny and get rid of the toothache. The same rule works for mental pain. There is a doctor - a psychotherapist. You need to go to him for spiritual sensitivity, and not drive your girlfriends into depression with your suffering.

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This is the child of your closest and beloved person, and you call him "alien". In a number of cases, I considered it right for myself to support the girl, although in fact it turned out that I was "covering" her.

Discussion

I don't know about everyone, I know about myself. We do not divide children into "friend or foe". Just at the age of 10, the boy moved to his dad. Both wanted, I also only supported. This is the child of your closest and beloved person, and you call him "alien". But he is a brother to your children.

Arguments were not accepted correctly. I wouldn't mess with an unreliable partner like you either. Who is ready to put his NATIVE child, the child of his husband, in unpleasant conditions because of his incomprehensible whims. Children are not to blame for adult relationships. It seems that mother and her husband do not really need a boy. And you, instead of supporting, "just don't want to." For me, all this is another globe. In general, your husband totally does not know how to choose women.

My husband's daughter has been living with us for the last two years. When she moved, she was 10, and we have two little ones. All three of the children were happy.
Relations with six months were uneven, shaking. But it got shaky. But our situation is easier - our daughter periodically visited us from the very beginning, from her 4 years old. We went on holiday together again. Now she is my first assistant! And just a very nice person.
My husband pays less attention to her than I do, he returns from work, of course, late. I go to meetings, I go shopping with her, and so on. But it is the same with our common children.

Conference "About my own, about girlish". Section: How to proceed? (how to support your husband Fate gave him the opportunity to stop and think a little about whether he was going the right way before. A person is not looking for himself in the same area, he has already been offered many options, he refused.

Discussion

I thank everyone for their advice and opinions, my hopes for the conference were more than justified :-) - I heard a lot of practical and useful advice and an APHIGICAL and unexpected bonus was that my brains fell into place with a clang and gnash :-)
Peace of mind, which, stsuko, wandered around somewhere, also returned. :-)

Thank you all very much :-)