Faina Ranevskaya's catchphrases! Winged expressions of Faina Ranevskaya
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website I decided to recall the witty sayings of the great actress, which at one time silenced interlocutors for a long time.
Quotes
- All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
- We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
- Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.
- Under the most beautiful tail of a peacock hides the most ordinary chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
- I am like eggs: I participate, but I do not enter.
- Why are all women so stupid?
- Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
- Life is a long jump from n * zdy to the grave.
- I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
- For an actress, there are no disadvantages if it is necessary for the role.
- When I start writing memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oilman ...”, - I can’t do anything.
- To gain recognition, one must, even must, die.
- Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
- Beautiful people shit too.
- I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
- Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
- I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, this is Mulya, don’t annoy me, she’s coming.”
- Everyone is free to dispose of his ass as he wants. So I pick mine up and fuck it
- I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".
- Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
- Pee-pee in a tram is all he did in art.
- Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with yourself and your shortcomings, which I have never seen in mediocrity.
- I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
- It is better to be a good person, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.
Actress stories
Once Ranevskaya stood in her make-up room completely naked. And smoked. Suddenly, without knocking, the director, manager of the Mossovet Theater Valentin Shkolnikov entered her. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: “Does it shock you that I smoke?”
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said: "Because white makes you fat."
Ranevskaya was asked: “Which women, in your opinion, tend to be more faithful brunettes or blondes?” Without thinking, she replied: "Greys!".
Once in the theater, a young capricious actress declared: "The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real." “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her, “Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last”.
Everyone knows Faina Ranevskaya's quotes. In principle, the current fame of Faina Georgievna is largely due to her well-aimed witticisms and aphorisms. Why her acting talent was not appreciated, but Ranevskaya's statements are still popular is a mystery to everyone ... We have collected Ranevskaya's most successful quotes.
The best funny aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
I feel myself, but not well.
Why are all women so stupid.
Baldness is a slow but progressive transformation of the head into a f...pu. First in form, then in content.
My dear, if you want to lose weight - eat naked and in front of a mirror!
Many complain about their appearance, and no one complains about their brains.
When I retire, I will do absolutely nothing. The first months I will just sit in a rocking chair.
- And then?
- And then I'll start to swing.
I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.
A smart man knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise man will never get into it.
And what nature does to man.
God made women beautiful to be loved by men, and stupid to be loved by men.
The queen of the second plan and the queen of aphorisms, most of which became winged, lived a long, eventful life, full of drama and loneliness. It is quite possible that it was loneliness that influenced Ranevskaya's specific sense of humor. Not everyone will be able to give out joke after joke almost all their lives (the actress lived for 88 years). Many believe that the actress came up with the witticisms on purpose. But Faina Georgievna didn’t even come up with quotes and aphorisms, but they simply came to her by themselves, involuntarily - bang, a new funny statement is ready.
Apt quotes about men, women and love
Ranevskaya performed at one of the literary and theatrical evenings. During the discussion, a girl of about sixteen asked: - Faina Georgievna, what is love? Ranevskaya thought and said: - I forgot. And after a second she added: - But I remember that this is something very pleasant.
- Faina Georgievna, what does a woman look like if you put her upside down? - To the piggy bank. - And the man? - On a hanger.
Here you get married - then you will understand what happiness is But it will be too late.
- If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool.
Ranevskaya returns from the tour. Coupe conversation. One says: "I'll return home and confess everything to my husband." Second: "Well, you are brave." Third: "Well, you're stupid." Ranevskaya: "Well, you have a memory."
Having gone - having nothing to do on tour during the day - to the zoo, the artists saw an unusual deer, on the head of which, instead of two horns, there were as many as four. Replicas were heard: - What a strange animal! What's the focus? - I think, - Ranevskaya boomed, - that this is just a widower who had the imprudence to marry again.
Once Faina Ranevskaya asked Anna Akhmatova: - Who is the husband of a sheep? Akhmatova said: - Sheep, so there is nothing to envy.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions, - Ranevskaya strictly explains: There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
- You will not believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom. Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight - she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to the heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.
More than anything in my life, I loved falling in love.
A scandalous person, a lonely and vulnerable soul, a caustic lady with a thick voice, a homegrown philosopher with a cigarette and just an actress who can replace the whole group with herself. This is all - Faina Ranevskaya. She has a lot of various awards and titles, has played more than four dozen roles in cinema and theater. At the same time, Ranevskaya spoke not at all flatteringly about her filming in films: “The money is eaten, but the shame remains.” Despite this sarcasm, the audience remembered the images of her movie heroines forever, which is especially valuable, given that the actress did not have the main roles. The apt phrase about money is just one of the witty phrases that she left behind. In principle, Faina Georgievna's statements were not very optimistic ... Ranevskaya's quotes are funny and sad at the same time.
Faina Ranevskaya's catchphrases
How I envy the brainless.
Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
As life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.
A person's passport is his misfortune, because a person must always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you cannot live like an eighteen year old.
Old age is when it’s not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
I still remember decent people... God, how old I am.
Companion of glory - loneliness.
Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Optimism is a lack of information.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
The brain has a second half, well ... py and pills, but I was originally whole.
Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.
All my life I've been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without going down to their level.
Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that constantly, eighty percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!
Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if, if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in the coffin.
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.
Old age is when it’s not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Half of the lies that are being spread about me are not true.
Memories are the wealth of old age.
I don't drink, I don't smoke anymore and I've never cheated on my husband - I'll tell you I never had one.
How much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
When I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I just like to think.
They live together. Like husband and wife. Although no. They live much better.
They had different tastes: she loved men, and he loved women.
Do not have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
The main thing is to live a living life, and not to fumble through the back streets of memory.
Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
If a person is smart and honest, then he is non-partisan.
If smart and party-then dishonest.
If honest and party-the fool.
Companion of glory - loneliness.
Alone. Mortal anguish. I am 81 years old ... I am sitting in Moscow, it is summer, I cannot leave the dog. They rented me a house outside the city and with a toilet. And at my age, one can be a lover - a home closet.
Ranevskaya dined in a restaurant and was dissatisfied with both the kitchen and the service.
- Call the director, - she said, having paid.
And when he came, she offered him a hug.
- What's happened? - he was confused.
“Hug me,” repeated Faina Georgievna.
- But why?
- Goodbye. You won't see me here again.
Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
Serve the lady mouth! (Ranevskaya asked for a light.)
For the actress there is no inconvenience if it is necessary for the role.
The closet of Lyubov Petrovna Orlova is so full of clothes that the moth living in it cannot learn to fly!
There are two, maybe three thoughts in my old head, but at times they raise such a fuss that it seems there are thousands of them.
Ranevskaya walks very sad, upset about something.
- My pearl necklace was stolen!
- What did it look like?
- Like real...
They all have friends the same as themselves - they make friends on the basis of purchases, almost live in commission shops, go to visit each other. How I envy them, brainless!
A boy and a girl are sitting on a bench. The young man is very shy. The girl wants him to kiss her, and she says:
- Oh, my cheek hurts.
The young man kisses her on the cheek.
- Well, how does it hurt now?
- No, it doesn't hurt.
Over time:
- Oh, my neck hurts.
He kissed her on the neck:
- Well, does it hurt?
- No, it doesn't hurt.
Ranevskaya sits nearby and asks:
- Young man, you don't treat hemorrhoids?!
When I have a nightmare, it means that I am in a movie in a dream.
It has always been a mystery to me - how great actors could play with artists from whom there is nothing to catch, even a runny nose. How to explain, mediocrity: no one will come to you, because there is nothing to take from you. Do you understand my shallow thought?
Ranevskaya was asked if she knew the reasons for the divorce of a familiar couple. Faina Georgievna replied:
- They had different tastes: she loved men, and he - women.
That blind man to whom you gave the coin is not pretending, he really does not see.
- Why did you decide so?
- He told you: “Thank you, beauty!”
Life is in full swing ... on the head!
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Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya - Soviet actress, called the queen of the second plans. Almost all of her film roles were fleeting. She only briefly appeared on the screen, but Ranevskaya remained forever in the hearts of the audience. Her catchphrases and aphorisms went "to the people", not having time to fly off the actress's tongue. Biting, witty, sometimes beyond the bounds of decency - they are still in demand today.
Faina Ranevskaya was born in Taganrog, back in 1896. When she turned 19, the girl went to conquer Moscow. However, she was not taken to the theater school, citing the fact that Ranevskaya had no talent. Faina Georgievna was not particularly upset, and entered another private school. She spent the next nineteen years on the stage, changing several theaters. The actress came to the cinema when she was 38 years old.
It is not known why such a talented actress never got the long-awaited main role throughout her work in the cinema. But the audience immediately fell in love with the charismatic and witty actress. Her appearance on the screen was awaited with bated breath, and the expressions of her heroines were then actively screwed into the conversation at any opportunity.
Faina Georgievna had funny and witty phrases literally for any occasion. Whatever bothers you - politics, appearance, a grumpy spouse, annoying guests, dull health, lack of attention - winged ones will become a real cure. They will make you smile and remember that our life is not painted with one gray color, but shines with all shades of the rainbow.
Ranevskaya gave out funny phrases when giving interviews, talking with colleagues, friends and fans. It is interesting that the actress never used templates, did not think over her speech and did not prepare for sparkling humor. Funny phrases were always born spontaneously.
Other expressions became winged, flying from the lips of the character played by Ranevskaya. The most popular saying of that time was "Mulya, don't make me nervous!" This phrase was shouted by the children at the sight of the actress, she was often recalled by journalists and friends of Faina Georgievna. Even Brezhnev did not ignore this catchphrase, awarding Ranevskaya with the Order of Lenin.
Ranevskaya was witty not only on stage, but also in everyday life. Her funny expressions helped to cope with annoyance. For example, once Faina Georgievna went on a trip.
At the station, she sighed and told her family:
- Oh, it's a pity they didn't take the piano with them.
“It’s not funny at all,” the annoyed relatives answered.
“Of course it’s not funny,” Ranevskaya agreed. - I left all the tickets on the lid of the piano.
The actress gave parting words to her guests:
- When you're at my door, knock with your feet.
- But why legs? - future visitors were surprised.
- How else? Are you going to come to me empty-handed?
A sense of humor and a sharp mind helped the actress not only cope with everyday difficulties, but also respond to rudeness without losing dignity. Once, on a crowded street, Faina Georgievna was pushed by a passerby. Without even apologizing, the unpleasant man, in extremely vulgar words, expressed to Ranevskaya his dissatisfaction with the fact that she was preventing his movement.
However, the lady quickly came up with an answer:
- What a pity that today I cannot sink to your level and answer you in the same words. However, I hope that when you get home, your mother will run out from behind the fence and bite you hard.
The brilliant actress did not live a month before her 88th birthday. Few people know that the surname under which Faina Georgievna gained popularity and people's love is a pseudonym that she took in her youth, replacing the surname Feldman with them. Why did young Faina choose this option? The new surname was taken from the play The Cherry Orchard. Thus, the aspiring actress wanted to pay tribute to her countryman - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov.
Despite her giftedness and talent, she was lonely all her life. But we still use her best catchphrases and expressions. And it is likely that even our children will remember and use those funny and witty aphorisms that have become part of our folklore thanks to Faina Ranevskaya.
Women are a hundred times smarter. Show at least one lady who suddenly lost her head from slender male legs. There are no such unique individuals of the weaker sex in nature, unlike men.
Homosexuality is nothing. Here is ballet on slippery ice, or grass hockey - this is a real perversion! – Faina Ranevskaya
In the dressing room, naked Ranevskaya sat down on an ottoman and lit a cigarette. A male director enters to wish Faina success. Pause. The director was taken aback, to which the actress, after a long silence, said: “I want to apologize for the cigarette smoke and other inconveniences.”
An employee of the radio station was always preoccupied with a difficult relationship with her lover Sima. He continued to meet, but categorically did not take obligations to the girl. They constantly converged, diverged, quarreled over trifles, the girl had abortions, but she did not leave Sima. Ranevskaya felt sorry for the girl, affectionately calling him a victim of HeraSima.
Looking at the torn skirt, Ranevskaya said: “Beauty will cut its way. It is impossible to keep the beautiful within the narrow limits of what is permitted!”
Everything will be real. And pearls in the first act, and a capsule with poison in the finale!
Read the continuation of the best aphorisms and quotes by Faina Ranevskaya on the pages:
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
Do you understand my shallow thought?
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we were in big trouble. (About Lenin)
What I do? I pretend to be healthy.
The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)
Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray-haired!”
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
Old age is just bullshit. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.
With such an ass, you should stay at home!
But how. When I was young, I had to undress every time I went to the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.
My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.
I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
I play the role of eggs: I participate, but do not enter.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite is true.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions Ranevskaya strictly explains: There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
Faina, her old friend asks, do you think medicine is making progress?
In the carriage compartment, an annoying fellow traveler is trying to talk to Ranevskaya.
On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
If I kept a diary, I would write down one phrase every day: What mortal anguish, that's all.
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.
Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movies, too, Gangsters.
I receive letters: Help me become an actor. Answer: God help!
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
I am a social psychopath. Komsomol girl with an oar. You can feel me in the subway. It's me standing there, half bowed, in a bathing cap and copper panties, into which all the Octobrists strive to climb. I work in the metro as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
There are no fat women, there are small clothes.
Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
Come, I will show you photographs of unknown people's artists of the USSR, - Ranevskaya called to herself.
I do not recognize the word play. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
Young man! I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.
Once Ranevskaya, picking up the phone, heard the voice of one of her fans, which was very annoying to her, and said: Sorry, I can’t continue the conversation. I'm talking from a machine, and there's a big line here.
All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
Criticesses are Amazons in menopause.
On my tombstone, write Died of disgust.
I am a local actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..
Such an ass is called ass-playing.
Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
Because white is fat.
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
To the question: Are you sick, Faina Georgievna? - she usually answered: No, I just look like that.
Companion of glory - loneliness.
Loneliness is a condition that cannot be cured.
It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong expressions, and when she was remarked that there is no word zho-pa in the literary Russian language, she answered - strange, there is no word, but there is zho-pa ...
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands.
Everything will come true, you just have to lose your will...
Pee-pee in a tram - all that he did in art.
Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? once asked Ranevskaya.
Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself!
Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
Ranevskaya stood completely naked in her make-up room. And smoked. Suddenly, Valentin Shkolnikov, managing director of the Mossovet Theater, entered without knocking. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: Doesn't it shock you that I smoke?
An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced dramas because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him + Ranevskaya called her a victim of HeraSima.
A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men, said Ranevskaya.
Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors.
Here's a cucumber. If you want to eat it, if you want, live with it..
Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Talent is like a wart - you either have it or you don't.
I feel myself, but not well.
I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Beautiful so that men can love them, and stupid so that men can love them.
On the same evening, Ranevskaya was asked: Which, in your opinion, women tend to be more faithful brunettes or blondes? Without hesitation, she replied: Grey-haired!
Which women do you think tend to be more faithful brunette or blonde?
A lady can already choose for herself whom she impresses.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.
People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
A fan asks for Ranevskaya's home phone number. She:
Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
I don't see faces, but personal insults.
He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.
Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth is like nothing! Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Old age is when it’s not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Optimism is a lack of information.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.
I'm watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
My God, how life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.
Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
Seeing the performance by actress X. of the role of an Uzbek girl in the play Kahara in the branch of the Moscow Council on Pushkinskaya Street, Ranevskaya exclaimed: I can’t when a whore poses innocence.
