Relationships after childbirth. The two main functions of the family. Intimate life after the birth of a child

"! I hasten to make a reservation right away that I did not intend to get a divorce and I do not intend to, but having been a mother for only one month, I have already begun to understand why the birth of children in many families leads to divorce. Unfortunately, I have before my eyes a lot of such sad examples. Let's figure out together why this is happening, and think, how to save a marriage after the birth of a child. And in the next article, you will learn how to involve the father in the care of the newborn and help him get closer to the baby.

I won’t talk about how difficult it is for a woman to cope with both the child and the household at the same time, because every mother knows this from her own experience, but I’m already talking about what a fun attraction an attempt to leave the child for five minutes is. I propose to look at the situation from a different angle and figure out what happens in the life of a husband with the advent of a baby.

In the first weeks after being discharged from the maternity hospital, dad is in for a lot of trouble: some household duties are added to his main job, as well as something completely new for him - caring for a child. Mom, most likely, will be more nervous than usual, this is understandable: sleepless nights, worries about the baby and sufficiency of lactation do not contribute to peace.

It is important not to forget that it is just as hard for your husband as it is for you. And if he previously performed flawlessly, say, ten duties, it is not surprising if he makes a mistake performing one of the thirty new tasks.

The distribution of responsibilities for caring for a baby should also be approached rationally. You should not force your husband if some moments are unpleasant for him, just as you should not suffer yourself where you can ask dad for help. For example, it was sometimes very difficult for my husband to endure the loud cry of a child when we dressed him outside, and we were not in that mood for a walk. So now I dress the baby myself. But I never (never, never) myself lifted even our lightest stroller, this is dad's concern. Even when I walk alone with the baby, my husband lowers the stroller for us, and after the walk he picks it up. Changing diapers is on me, because it doesn’t give me any discomfort (after my disgust disappeared somewhere), but my husband does an excellent job of bathing the baby - I’m a soapy and slippery miracle that likes to turn around, it’s scary to hold.

Do not forget that you and your husband are a single whole, and it was not without reason that you once decided to give birth to a child from this particular man. It is my husband who understands and supports me the most. He will always help swaddle the baby or feed the baby with expressed milk if I need to go away.

Remember that you are not only mom and dad, but also husband and wife, and try to pay attention to your spouse. You definitely need to spend some time alone: ask your grandmother to look after the baby and arrange a romantic evening for yourself, take a walk together or just watch a good movie hugging while the baby is sleeping.

Perhaps, it was with the advent of the baby that I realized that relationships are, in a sense, work. And in order to save a marriage after the birth of a child, you need to work in two directions: to maintain relations between husband and wife and to promote contact between father and child.

Well, as a vital irony on the topic of how the birth of a child affects marriage: the wedding ring still does not fit on me (I honestly try to stick my finger into it almost every day, I really value it, the ring) and in addition On top of that, while my dad and I were running to draw up Artyusha a myriad of documents for a newborn, we managed to lose our marriage certificate. I had to restore it.

And now almost all the trees are bare, overcast. I don't really want to go outside.

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The long-awaited moment has come in the family - the baby was born. But along with joy, new worries and sleepless nights came to the house. The young mother is very tired, and the father is immersed in solving material problems, which have become even more. Your life will no longer be the same, there is more than one person in the family who requires constant attention. How to deal with all this?

Changes in husband's behavior

Causes

Dreaming of the birth of a baby, the future father could hardly imagine how this event would actually change his life. Now there are three of them, the wife's attention is entirely directed to the child, she has no free time at all, her intimate life is clearly lame. But he is a man, where can he compete with the crumbs! Nevertheless, you want attention, there is no one to complain to, and there is no point, you need to hold on, and this can be difficult, because he is also not made of iron. A burden of material worries has fallen on the young dad, he must work and pay attention to the family, it is really difficult for him, he can be understood.

What does it look like

These changes can look different, it all depends on the temperament of the person. One becomes irritable, the second begins to spend more time outside the home, the third endures everything very steadfastly, but runs the risk of falling down from fatigue.

What to do

To improve relations with her husband, the wife needs to pay attention to him, otherwise the consequences can be unpredictable. For starters, let him look at the world through his eyes: he works, takes care of his family, almost never rests, and she always has no time for him. It would be nice to offer him at least a little rest - let him go with friends to a bar or go fishing. In the short time of his absence, nothing will change drastically, and a change of scenery will do him good.

The husband should feel needed, remind him more often with words and actions that you love him, even the strongest man really needs this. And the time will come to help you - the child will not always be so small and require the continuous presence of the mother. With time everything will get better!

Changes in wife's behavior

Causes

After an exhausting pregnancy and childbirth, a woman's body is very weakened and needs to be restored, and with the advent of a baby in the house, one can only dream of rest. Every 2-3 hours the baby needs to be fed, it is not always possible to rock him right away, sleepless nights add fatigue and irritation. The woman herself suffers from the fact that she cannot spend as much time with her husband as she would like, but she is not able to break between the child and the man she loves. This period of her life is very difficult for her.

What does it look like

Often, the accumulated fatigue results in tantrums, tearfulness, claims to her husband. This annoys the man, he is looking for a way to distract himself, and the wife ends up getting even angrier. She expected support and understanding from her husband, looking at such a reaction, she considers herself lonely and abandoned at a difficult moment.

There are very calm women who keep all experiences deep in themselves, trying to be strong. Such endurance can play a cruel joke with them, turning into an illness or a nervous breakdown later.

What to do

In the first months after childbirth, a woman most of all needs rest. The kindest thing you can do for her is to let her be alone for a while. Take a walk with the stroller, and at this time she will be able to recover at least a little after sleepless nights or take care of herself. Unload her for a day from household chores, order pizza, for example, so that she does not cook. For such care, your wife will be very grateful to you.

Most importantly, be patient. Gradually, she will move away from childbirth, the baby will grow up a little, his sleep pattern will normalize, and it will be much easier for both of you.

How to mend broken relationships

It happens that such a joyful event as the appearance of a child in a family turns into a crisis for the relationship of the spouses. It is necessary to look for a way out together, because in this situation there is no one to blame, both sides suffer. Try to pay more attention to each other, find time to talk about painful things, treat each other's feelings with understanding.

Great benefits for the whole family can bring joint outdoor recreation or a walk. The main thing is to notice all the changes in the mood and behavior of your other half and take measures in time so that the relationship does not deteriorate completely.

How to Maintain a Good Relationship

If the birth of a child has not affected your marriage in a negative way, just try to keep the relationship the same. One way or another, the appearance of a baby in the house is a big change in the life of the whole family. Be more attentive to your spouse, sometimes deep inner feelings can be hidden behind external calmness. There is never enough love and understanding, and there are no people who do not need it.

Intimate relationship with a loved one and the causes of discord in a couple. The article will offer advice on how to return the husband's disposition and interest after childbirth to the wife.

The content of the article:

Relations after childbirth are a complex, sometimes very strained interaction between a man and a woman, often reminiscent of a minefield with all the dangerous attributes that accompany it. The romance that was previously present in a couple can disappear without a trace, bringing irritability and mutual reproaches in return. If love has not yet died out between partners, then you should understand the problem that has arisen after replenishment in the family.

The mechanism of disharmony in relationships after childbirth

Everything in this world is no coincidence, so you should not complain exclusively about evil fate. Relations with a husband after childbirth may worsen according to the following pattern of development of the problem:

. Many women come into a feverish state before the birth of a baby. Expectant mothers have a process of self-contemplation, when all their attention is directed to their own body. The husband begins to realize that something is wrong with his soulmate, which he is sometimes unable to understand.
Childbirth and their consequences. This process is the most joyful event in a woman’s life, but you can’t call it painless. The greatest shock is experienced by firstborns, because for them what is happening sometimes becomes a difficult test. If, however, it also happened to get to not the best doctors and staff, then the woman has, in addition to sensations, a serious psychological trauma.
Baby care. The conflict begins to gain momentum when the spouse realizes that now the beloved has things to do and is more important than his person. Of course, he is glad to be added to the family, but jealousy can also settle in his heart at the sight of a wife who has dissolved in a child.
Husband dissatisfied. The last phase of the family drama is the eternally sullen spouse who lacks affection both emotionally and sexually. A constantly exhausted wife can cause him to protest against the changed situation in the family.

Important! Even the most caring man is not always ready for changes of this kind, so there is no need to judge him strictly for this. This is not a betrayal, but the process of getting used to a spouse a new model of family relations.

Causes of discord in the family after childbirth

It is possible to try to create an ideal from your beloved, but is this process worth such an effort. After all, we usually love not for something, but contrary to all logic. Therefore, it is necessary to consider the reasons due to which the couple's relationship deteriorated after childbirth:

Lack of attention to husband. As already mentioned, this factor can bring disagreement in a family with a newborn. Motherhood is a wonderful time, but often a woman does not see anyone around except her beloved child. A man begins to understand that he has ceased to be the main person in the life of his beloved, and this does not please him much.
Change in the appearance of the spouse. It's no secret that after childbirth, a woman's figure rarely gets better. Stretch marks, a tummy that has appeared can lead the fair sex into a persistent depression. If, at the same time, the chosen one does not have a sense of tact and likes to loudly voice the changes that have taken place in the appearance of his wife, then everything usually ends with regular scandals in a couple.
Imbalance in the body. This is not about men who, after giving birth to the second half, do not suffer physically. Hormones are an insidious thing that can play a cruel joke on even the most sane woman. A young mother sometimes becomes emotionally unstable, because the exhaustion of the nervous system begins. At the same time, she breaks down on her spouse, because the circle of her contacts is now narrowed to a minimum.
Everyday problems. A couple without children can sometimes sort things out for hours, competing among themselves in the sharpness of the word. When a child appears, the situation becomes more complicated, because the changes that have taken place carry a certain responsibility. The scandal sometimes begins out of the blue, because both spouses were not ready for the material difficulties that appeared. If a man is a miser at the same time, then it becomes difficult to avoid violent showdowns.
Restriction in sexual life. A young mother needs a period to recover after childbirth. It usually takes 4 to 6 weeks, which seems like an eternity to some hyperactive men. At the same time, there is a risk that the spouse will not immediately begin to react violently to the caresses of her beloved, because she simply gets tired after caring for the child.
Difficult delivery. With this factor, a woman can emotionally and physically close, remembering the pain she suffered. Someone forgets the torment immediately, while someone begins to sink into postpartum depression. What is happening cannot go unnoticed by the spouse, who sometimes does not know how to help his wife. In the future, he begins to move away from her, and family relationships give a thorough crack.
Lack of parental feelings. At the same time, it is worth voicing the coldness of the mother when the baby appears, which also sometimes happens. For each of the couple who loves their child, it is very painful to watch the indifference of the second half regarding the adored child. Scandals in this case are quite tough, leading the couple to a logical conclusion in the form of a divorce.
. This factor is similar to the consequences of a difficult birth, but nevertheless, these concepts should be distinguished. The depressed state of the mother after the birth of the baby can turn into a serious threat to the family. The process of postpartum depression is very difficult to predict, but its consequences can be extremely dangerous for relationships. A sane man will understand and realize everything, but it is not a fact that he will endure the situation indefinitely.
The birth of a sick child or his death. Such a tragedy can break even a strong-willed person. Relations in the family begin to deteriorate if there is no desire to rally in grief and support each other.

Note! In all of these situations, a problem that needs to be eliminated is acutely indicated. Otherwise, you can lose not only the trust of your soul mate, but also her love.

Signs of disharmony in a couple after childbirth

Happy parents are immediately visible, because they care for and cherish their child, continuing to pay attention to each other. However, life does not always present us with exceptionally pleasant surprises, so problems after childbirth can arise in any couple.

To understand the essence of the situation that has arisen, it is necessary to clearly understand for yourself the signs of an impending danger to the relationship:

. This factor is a very disturbing sign for everyone who is married. At the same time, a wise partner will do everything possible to return the warm attitude of his soulmate. It should always be remembered that people in a relationship try to avoid heart-to-heart talk only when they simply ceased to be interested in a partner.
Entertainment outside the family. We all have the right to privacy and our own interests. However, when a child is born, a lot changes, because children require increased attention to themselves. If the father of a newborn continues to actively have fun in the evenings with friends, ignoring his family, then this is the beginning of a serious problem for a couple with a baby.
harsh criticism. A loving man will never, on business or just morally destroy his wife. However, a woman after childbirth sometimes also becomes categorical and sarcastic towards her husband. If there is a voiced factor, then we can state with full confidence the discord in the couple after the birth of the baby.
Lack of support. In this case, after replenishment in the family, both financial infringement and refusal to help their soulmate begin. Such a wake-up call cannot be ignored, because it may indicate the beginning of the end of a relationship.

Varieties of conflicts in the family after childbirth

It is very difficult to classify a relationship crisis in the same way, because there are different models of families. Psychologists identify the following types of problems after a baby has appeared in the family:

. Offspring is not always desirable and expected for a couple that could be created solely on the basis of sexual interest. Having allowed his chosen one not to have an abortion during a trial relationship, a man may later bitterly regret this decision. Such a life story usually ends sadly, if the conversation is not about a very responsible representative of the stronger sex.
Conflicts between young parents. This family model is problem-free in very rare cases. It occurs mainly during an unplanned pregnancy of a girl. If in an early marriage a baby is born to the spouses, then often after endless clarification of the relationship, the couple breaks up. Still remaining immature personalities themselves, the newlyweds may simply not be ready for the responsibility that has arisen.
Conflicts in mature parents. If a woman has crossed the forty-year milestone in her life, then bearing a child and giving birth to her can be problematic. In addition, a capricious baby is more easily tolerated by a younger couple who are full of energy. Mature people get tired faster, because there is a possibility of chronic diseases appearing over a lifetime. All this is not an axiom, but scandals in a mature couple are considered a common occurrence. In addition, pregnancy can occur with the so-called false menopause, when a couple finds out about conception at a fairly thorough time in a woman. All this introduces people of age into complete shock, then creating conflict situations after the birth of the baby.
Problems in a guest marriage. This is the name of a couple in which everything is officially registered, but the family has an unusual relationship format. Living separately, the spouses decide on the birth of a joint child. However, it should be remembered that a baby is a huge responsibility and a titanic work of two people. In addition, a couple can even live in different countries if one of the partners leaves to work. If before that everything suited everyone, then serious problems begin between spouses in a guest marriage.

Ways to restore relationships after childbirth

For every loving and wise woman, there may come a time when a relationship needs to be saved. No wonder they say that a man is the head, and the fair sex is the neck. Therefore, the partner needs to decide on the question of how to improve relations with her husband after childbirth.

How to restore spiritual intimacy with your husband after childbirth

If in a couple after the birth of a child there is coldness on the part of a loved one, then the problem must be urgently eliminated. A woman can use the following tips on how to restore relations with her husband after childbirth:

Communication. With the advent of the baby, all the attention of the mother is focused on the child. This is both right and fundamentally wrong, because the husband also needs understanding and affection. It is extremely dangerous to deprive him of this, because he will feel superfluous in the resulting trio. Consequently, the spouse may begin to seek solace on the side, which will lead to divorce. It is necessary to be interested in the problems of a loved one so that he understands what is still significant for the mother of his child.
Joint leisure. You can temporarily distract yourself from fluttering over your beloved child by watching an interesting program or movie with your husband. No one offers to go fishing with him or to a football pub, which is sometimes simply impossible. However, if you have capable grandparents, you can ask them to take care of the child, devoting free time to their chosen one.
. A beloved man will be pleasantly surprised if, instead of an exhausted vixen, he is suddenly met by a beautiful fairy. It is difficult to do this, because the newborn takes the lion's share of the mother's time. However, it is necessary to try to restore relations that have cracked. Scented candles, a dinner of her husband's favorite dishes will make it clear to the unfortunate woman that the woman still loves and cherishes her chosen one. Even if the young mother is not yet physically ready for an intimate relationship, the spouse will appreciate her efforts to please him.
Involving a man in childcare. Joint walks will definitely make the family even more united and friendly. Let dad take part in bathing and feeding the baby so that a strong spiritual bond is formed between him and the child. In the future, the husband will want to spend all his free time with his son or daughter, which is also useful for his relationship with his wife.

All of these methods will work only if the woman is determined to save her relationship with her loved one. In addition, the husband himself must want to save the marriage, because otherwise all the efforts of the wife will be a waste of time.

How to establish a sexual life with a husband after childbirth

It's no secret that intimate relationships are very important for a strong and stable marriage. However, discord often occurs in this area after a woman gives birth to a child. If the husband is loved and dear, then the following steps should be taken to return his attention:

Getting the figure in order. Stories about the ideal body of a woman after childbirth are another myth for the gullible. A young mother needs time to restore her former forms, which is a natural process. The gym is not always within the means of the family, because it requires certain investments. In addition, after the birth of a baby, it is quite problematic to constantly leave the house, even for a short time. However, no one canceled independent training at home. On the same Internet, a huge number of exercises are offered that will allow you to return the figure to its former shape. It is easy to become sexually attractive to a husband again if you put some effort into it.
. As already mentioned, after childbirth, a woman needs to recover not only externally, but also physically. This will take some time, because otherwise she may be seriously injured. Childbirth is not just psychological stress for a young mother, but also significant changes in her reproductive system. You should listen to the recommendations of the gynecologist, who himself will say after what period of time it is really possible to resume sexual activity. At the same time, it is necessary to explain to the spouse that everything will be wonderful, but only after a certain period of time. A loving man will understand everything, and an egoist who is ready to jeopardize the health of the second half is not worth fighting for.
Familiarization of the husband with information on medicine. Sexual relations after childbirth can be intimidating for some women. However, inexperienced or too impressionable dads can also be alarmed by the resumption of intimate life after telling their beloved about the consequences of resolving the burden. If the birth of a child was when the spouse was nearby, then sometimes for him this becomes a stop signal for further sex with his wife. Again, a confidential conversation with some medical facts that many men do not understand will help.
Purchasing reliable contraceptives. The fear of re-pregnancy may seem a little strange, but it can negatively affect both the husband and the wife. The couple is not yet ready for the next child, so the sexual fuse is muffled by the voiced danger. Especially the fear of intimate relationships occurs when the previous pregnancy occurred after the ineffectiveness of the chosen contraceptive. A woman needs to consult a competent specialist in order to resume sexual activity without the risk of a new conception.
constant flirting. Some new mothers may lose interest in sex because of the belief that now the child becomes the only center of their attention. There is some truth in this, but too much in this can lead to the collapse of relationships between lovers. A husband should feel affection from his beloved woman, which may not even consist in the sexual intercourse itself. The partner will be pleased with flirting, caresses and playful hints, which will only strengthen sexual relations after the woman's body is fully restored.

How to restore relations with your husband after childbirth - look at the video:

Every woman should carefully consider how to resume intimate relationships after childbirth. Warmth should be felt by the husband so that he does not start looking for care and understanding with another partner. However, it is worth remembering that the wife must fight to save the marriage only if there is love in it. It should also be noted that it is realistic to correct the situation when both spouses are interested in its elimination. The appearance of a small child in the house is an exciting event for a young family. Someone perceives changes in life positively, while some couples cannot rebuild their way of life. Did you know that most divorces occur in the first years after the addition to the family. How not to lose family relationships after the birth of a child?

What's happening

It would seem that future parents were looking forward to the birth of the baby, but as soon as the first cry of a newborn was heard in the house, problems immediately began. Marriage after the birth of a child is no longer the idealistic relationship that the spouses had before. Husband and wife can no longer devote enough time to each other, and only a few minutes remain for themselves. Together you can move mountains: go to a nightclub, camp in tents, visit museums or just lie in bed. It is almost impossible to do this with a baby. If a woman, due to natural characteristics, can understand such changes, then a husband, becoming a father, experiences severe stress.

Representatives of the stronger sex are the same children. They love to be looked after, surrounded by love. Men are very sensitive to the appearance of a competitor in the house. The attitude of the husband towards his wife becomes more selfish: he is more and more dissatisfied with the fact that his beloved spends all the time with the baby, expresses negativity about the mess in the house, changes in the appearance of his wife. He does not understand that it is very difficult for a young mother to rebuild her life, and at the same time also to acquaint the little one with living conditions unknown to him. So that the crisis of relations does not reach its climax, it is necessary to show wisdom and begin to strengthen the family even before the baby is born.

We draw up an action plan

Changing perception. A man after the birth of a child does not understand that life has changed. The woman who worked before the decree is completely immersed in another world: she takes care of the child, thinks how to make the baby happy, takes care of the health of the little one. And the newly-made daddy still continues to go to work and communicate with colleagues. How can you understand the reasons for the changes in family relations?! Open your husband's eyes: ask to spend time with the baby, tell your loved one about the new achievements of the crumbs, introduce daddy to household chores.
We follow emotions. Young mothers are susceptible. This is due to hormonal changes in the body. Pay attention to yourself. Analyze what is happening, why mood swings become more frequent, irritability and tearfulness appear. Do you not like that your husband demands attention, without noticing your fatigue? Tell your loved one directly that you do not like. Don't wait until the "boiling point" is reached. A man does not live by conjecture, he needs facts.

Resting. Quarrels after the appearance of the baby in the spouses are becoming more common. Fatigue is to blame, which, like a snowball, falls on young parents. Mommy spins around the child all day, dreaming of relaxing, shifting the responsibility for caring for the baby to daddy, who will come home from work in the evening. But the man gets tired too! Spouses need to sit down and talk. Make a rest schedule. For example, on one weekend, mom will work with the baby, and on the other, dad. On weekdays, each parent will be given 40-50 minutes to communicate with the baby in order to “unload” their soulmate.
Introducing dad and baby. What should a husband do after childbirth if his wife does not let him near the heir even a centimeter? Make no mistake: the sooner dad gets to know the baby, the stronger the family relationship will be. If you see that your loved one is not touched by every movement of the little one, does not take him in his arms, this does not mean that he does not love his child. Representatives of the stronger sex are less emotional than women.

Sex after childbirth. “I fell out of love with my husband after the birth of a child,” many mothers complain, completely unaware that they are talking nonsense. They didn’t fall out of love, but they didn’t learn to combine different life roles. After the baby was born, you received a new status as a mother, but at the same time you did not lose the position of a loving and beloved wife. What kind of sex can we talk about when the child takes all the strength?! More about what! One woman had a wise mother-in-law. One day she told her son: "If you want a wife in bed, don't sit on the couch." True, right? Imagine you spend the whole day spinning around the little one, cooking, cleaning the apartment, while your beloved is silently watching you. Why not ask him for help, saying: “Darling, how I miss you, if only I could spend half an hour together, but I spend this precious time hanging up my son’s washed diapers.” Surely the husband will perk up at the thought of intimacy and help with household chores.

The birth of a child is a joyful and exciting event in the family. But not only. This is another serious test of strength for a married couple. The appearance of a newborn in the house breaks the usual way of life. matrimonial relationship after childbirth inevitably transform, and very often - in the direction of cooling.

How do relationships change after having a baby?

With the arrival of a tiny defenseless creature from the hospital, the spouses have to get used to a new unfamiliar role - parenting. The addition of mother and father roles changes the relationship between husband and wife. A woman learns to be both an attentive wife and a loving mother at the same time. The man is a caring husband and patient dad. Combining different roles and quickly switching between them is not an easy task.

A baby for a young mother is the center of the universe. Caring for a newborn requires her maximum return of strength. There is almost no time left for other household chores and rest. The husband is relegated to the periphery: the attention, care, caress of his wife now do not belong to him. After work, he is not waiting for a quiet evening with dinner-computer-TV, but the crying of a baby and burdensome care procedures.

The increased burden that has fallen on the shoulders of newly-made parents causes tension in their relationship, becomes a source of resentment, disappointment, and crises.

Psychologists figured out the main causes of conflicts between young parents:

psychological unpreparedness for parenthood,
different views on the birth of a child,
misunderstanding from ignorance - lack of information about the specifics of the postpartum period,
physical and emotional overwork of the mother.

Psychological unpreparedness for parenthood

A crisis situation often arises if too little time has passed between the acquaintance of the young and the birth of a child, or pregnancy was not included in the immediate plans. One of the parents (more often - a young father) refers to the birth as an unfortunate event and considers himself a hostage to the situation. Hence the rejection of the child, the unwillingness to help his wife.

Relationship problems can also arise in a family where the baby was eagerly awaited. If future parents imagined home life with a child too romantically, disappointments cannot be avoided.

Difference of views

Usually cooling starts from the side of the husband. Not surprisingly, the appearance of a child in the family of a man and a woman is perceived differently.

The child is present in the mother's life from conception. After his birth, a woman psychologically considers him to be her continuation, a part of herself. Physiologically, the maternal instinct is launched - an innate program of biological attachment to the child. Oxytocin and prolactin, the hormones of motherhood, are released into the blood. The production of sex hormones is suppressed. The desire to be a mother comes to the fore - this is how nature “magnetizes” a woman to her own child. Mom completely goes into children's worries.

It is more difficult for a father than for a mother to change the way of life. Nature did not provide for the paternal instinct, its hormonal background is constant before and after the birth of the baby. You will not envy the head of the family - he is forced to bear a double duty: he takes care of material security and helps to nurse the baby, who has taken all the attention of his wife. A man has a feeling of his uselessness, secondary importance.

Dad needs to know: it's pointless to argue with the laws of nature. The unity of mother and baby does not threaten his position, and jealousy of the child is inappropriate.

Mom should not be offended by the initial lack of paternal feelings and enthusiasm at the sight of the crumbs. Everything has its time. Dad and baby will begin to love and understand each other a little later, in the process of communication and exploration of the world around them. The unwillingness of the father to take care of the baby may come from confusion and inability. Or it was not accepted in the husband's family. It has been established that the developmental acts literally from the first days of life. Mom should delicately involve dad in care, doing procedures together at first.