Why is a child lying at 13 years old. Lying in adolescence: causes and a guide to action
Hello dear readers! Perhaps I will surprise you, but if a child never lies to his parents and others, this indicates that he is not developing quite correctly. No matter how we feel about this in general, but a lie helps people survive, makes children more adapted to life.
If the kid is pathologically honest, it will be quite difficult for him in adolescence and adulthood to establish contacts, build a career, even study.
Lying isn't always bad. A lie is also the ability to fantasize, interpret information in your favor, find and use benefits. Of course, emergencies also occur. At a young age, it's always hard. Today we will discuss if a child is lying what to do, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy here.
Lying is not always bad
I would like to start with the fact that a is not worth a lie. He will lie even more with time. Sometimes one should turn a blind eye to this fact, for example, if he ate a candy and blamed everything on the dog, knowing that no one would scold the animal. This is a harmless lie. You can make it clear to the child in a joking manner that you have seen through the deception.
If you want to use this situation as an educational element, pretend that you are going to seriously scold the animal. Look at the behavior of the baby. How will he react to this and whether he will bear the consequences.
What will prevail in the end is the fear that someone else will be punished for the misconduct of the child, or his own interests.
It is not necessary to treat each episode with a lie critically and scold him for any manifestations of disobedience. If a kid at 8-9 years old does not distinguish good from bad, then one cannot do without a serious conversation. We will return to this a little later. Let's talk about everything in order. First, let's discuss the possible reasons for lying.
Escape from punishment and guilt
Sometimes the reasons for lying lie much deeper. For example, one of my acquaintances says that every time he tried to hide the consequences of walking (wounds, abrasions, cuts, and once even a dog bite), because he knew that in addition to pain from a bruise, he would also fly from his mother for inattention and negligence.
This is a more serious situation. The problem lies not in the kid himself, who is looking for personal gain, but in the behavior of the parents. Too strict not to be punished.
Maintaining contact with your child is very important. He must see that in any case, relatives will support him and help him, no matter what happens. If every time he tells the truth that he got a deuce, lost money or broke a vase, they begin to scold him, then sooner or later he begins to hide the truth so as not to be punished.
Not all children are beaten and punished for wrongdoing. Some parents calmly and calmly begin to put pressure on the child, causing him: "You again upset your mother, you again have two in geography." This is difficult to endure even at the age of 11, and therefore the kid will prefer to hide the information, so that his mother does not have a heartache and she does not have to call an ambulance.
attention deficit
There is another category of children. They don't get much attention, and that's why they try to attract him every time by inventing different stories. It all starts very simply and harmlessly, but over time, parents unravel this scheme and the kid has to go for more serious tricks, for example, to tell that he was beaten at school or at home, he survived the attack, and so on.
Over time, such a child gets used to the role of an interesting storyteller-dreamer and already among friends weaves about rich relatives, a treasure buried in the garden, correspondence with idols.
cry for help
For some children, lying becomes a cry for help to their parents. This is especially common. They cannot directly approach adults to talk about their problems, and therefore in every possible way remind of their presence, annoying with small dirty tricks.
For example, a teenager starts smoking and lies that he does not do this, although in fact he does not try hard to hide this fact: he brings packs home, leaves a smell in the apartment for his parents, and so on. This can manifest itself at a time when discord begins in the family. Parents already quarrel so often, and therefore the child decides to take the hit himself,
- a very difficult period, and therefore I advise you to read a book Daniel Siegel "How to keep in contact with a child in puberty". It will be very helpful.
How to proceed
If you notice that the child began to lie, this lie becomes uncontrollable and harms your relationship, then first you need to change the already established model in his mind.
Most often, the child lies to avoid an unwanted reaction from the parents. You need to show that there is nothing wrong with the truth, and when a child speaks honestly, he does the right thing. Parents can help with deed or good advice. No punishment, screaming or guilt awaits him. “Telling the truth can be useful,” try to convey this idea to him.
Do not be angry, now is very important. No matter how he stumbles, it is important to show that parents are first of all friends, and only then leaders.
If a lie arose suddenly and you assume that it may be the result of the child’s inner experiences, but you can’t figure it out as a result of a frank conversation, try going with a teenager to a family psychologist. It can take too much valuable time to make contact. The specialist will allow you to quickly resolve the situation and help your child.
That's all for me. See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
When parents first encounter children's lies, the first thought that visits most moms and dads is: “How to wean a child from lying, how to find an approach to a little deceiver, and make sure that this never happens again?” The advice of a child psychologist will help parents understand why the child is lying and determine the strategy of their behavior.
Why do kids cheat?
“Who will grow up from a little liar, if already at that age he knows how to masterfully deceive adults?” Mom sighs sadly. “At his age, I was afraid to tell my parents a lie, otherwise they ..., it’s scary to remember, but now modern children are not afraid of anything,” dad grumbles. And not all parents realize that they are the cause of such an unpleasant phenomenon as children's lies.Why children lie - 6 reasons:
- Excessive strictness in relations with children. “They don’t lie to those who are not afraid to tell the truth” - this well-known saying characterizes the reason for such a lie in the best possible way. The kid is lying because he is afraid of punishment and is looking for any ways to avoid it.
- Parents play on the feelings of their own children. They use a forbidden technique, clutching either their heads or their hearts, which allegedly prickle and ache from the deuces in the diary, complain that the pranks of their son or daughter have affected their well-being.
- The child has an inferiority complex. If he almost never hears words of approval addressed to him, if he is constantly criticized at school and at home, lying is an attempt to look better in the eyes of others, among peers.
Parents should think about what their child lacks. Maybe they pay little attention to him, maybe he is an outcast among his peers, whom everyone humiliates? By the way, the need for recognition is one of the main human needs. On the scale of values, she is in fourth place.
- Resistance to excessive parental restrictions. Not all mothers and fathers immediately accept the fact that their child is growing up, he does not need extra care, it just annoys him and in some cases even makes him ashamed that they are considered small. Defending the right to their own opinion, the right to autonomy, a teenager of 11-12 years old can easily lie simply in order to go against the authority of their parents.
Separate independence from permissiveness, give him personal space, and you will be less likely to encounter the fact that the child is constantly lying. Seeing that adults understand him that they are acting in his interests, the teenager will not deceive them once again.
- The kid is just imagining. This situation is similar to the plot of N. Nosov's story "Dreamers", when children came up with fantastic stories for fun. Such a creative deceiver and a liar cannot be called a tongue, his inventions are so figurative and charming.
- A relationship crisis is brewing in the family or problems have arisen. What if the child is lying, combining his lies with theft and vandalism? He steals change from bags and pockets, ruins adults' clothes and belongings, offends younger children until adults see, and with clear eyes claims that he did not do it.
And yet, most often this problem is faced by families where parents are on the verge of divorce. With constant lies, thefts and damage to parental things, children try to unite them at least for a while, without even realizing it.
Life without deception - learning to be honest
When you discover that your children have such a problem, you need to try to find the cause and do everything possible to eliminate it. In addition to the above reasons, it can be a reaction to a stressful situation and the desire to avoid it, and the desire to receive praise, and the desire not to be ridiculed, and an attempt to protect personal space in this way.
- Start by saying right away that you know about the wrongdoing. So children do not have to dodge and attach another lie to the existing one.
- Say that you will not be angry if the child tells why he did it.
- Keep your word and do not be angry with the baby now or after.
- Tell the child that this act was wrong and give him advice on what to do.
- Assure him that next time he will definitely be able to count on your help and support.
In the opinion of any psychologist working with children, one cannot count on the fact that after a single conversation everything will change dramatically. It is possible that you will have to explain the same thing more than once. Another important advice from a psychologist on how to wean a child from lying: try not to become an example of duplicity - do not lie to people around you, even on trifles.
Children very quickly notice this, and then, no matter what the right words you say, after an example of your lie - "they are worthless." It is advisable to talk with them more often on the topic "what is good and what is bad." Try using the examples of book characters or cartoon characters to explain various situations of deception, together think about what you should do.
Children's lies are a problem that requires careful attention and informed decisions from parents. In any case, a lot can be done to ensure that the child does not become a pathological liar.
"Why does he lie all the time?" - this question begins to overcome parents closer to the age of three years of the life of a beloved baby. Always open and good-natured child to the question "Who ate candy?" shrugs his shoulders in surprise and says “It's not me!”, although the answer to it is obvious.
And parents begin to wonder: why does he do this, who teaches him to lie, and, most importantly, how to wean him? Before scolding and punishing a child, think not only about why children lie, but also why do people lie at all? Being late for work, we come up with incredible stories about traffic jams, a broken alarm clock, forgotten keys. At a meeting of classmates, we embellish our achievements in order to at least somehow increase self-esteem in the eyes of others. And such a banal situation is familiar to everyone: the phone rings and we say - "dear, pick up the phone and say that I'm not at home." The child sees all this, remembers, and then will consider lying as normal behavior.
Why do children lie?
1. Parental selfishness.
For any child, the game is a serious occupation, a way of knowing the world, but many parents do not want to understand this and at any time can tear off his interesting activities. And when a child asks for permission to bring some kind of pebble, stick, parents take it with hostility, considering it all rubbish. And the child begins to defend himself, bringing his "treasures" secretly.
2. Lack of admiration.
Often children brag about non-existent achievements, because parents expect too much from them, and they are not able to live up to these expectations. A child can say that in kindergarten or school he did something better than anyone else, he was praised, set as an example to others. At the slightest success, he inflates it many times, if only his parents would praise him. If you notice such behavior in your child, step over your pride and severity, praise more often for successes, do not scold for failures, it is better to calmly explain why something did not work out for him and how to fix it.
3. Fear of punishment.
The conscious use of lies and silence also appears when the child is afraid of punishment for misconduct, for example, the child loses a diary with bad grades or says that it was not he who broke the cup, but the cat, and the candy was stolen by the bird. Think about whether you punish too often, whether your punishments are too severe. Perhaps for you the deprivation of a TV, a computer, some toys or a ban on walking with friends seems trifling, but for a child it can become a real grief.
How to wean a child to lie
Between the ages of 5 and 7, children make their choice whether to lie or not. Therefore, it is necessary to stop any attempts at deception much earlier than this age.
1. Tell your child how a little lie can make a big difference in his life. Give examples, read fairy tales that prove the correctness of your words.
2. Remember that children take an example from their parents, so the main thing in the fight against children's lies is to be honest with your children.
3. Talk to your child more often, talk about yourself, your failures, achievements, joys. Even if it seems to you that the baby will not understand anything, even if the child is only two or three years old. He really does not understand the essence of your stories, what happened to you and, moreover, why it happened. But with this you will lay the foundation for a trusting relationship, honesty with each other. The kid will get used to a heart-to-heart talk, later he will understand that since you share with him, then he can trust you.
4. Children begin to lie from an early age, from about three years old. If you gave a child a candy, and he comes and asks for more, lamenting that the cat Barsik ate that candy, do not scold him. Of course, you don’t feel sorry for anything, it’s just that the baby doesn’t understand that you can just go up to your mother and ask for a second candy. Perhaps the baby often hears refusals, so he begins to lie. Be sure to tell your child: “If you want more, ask, I will give you candy.” Then there would be no point in lying.
5. Lies are the result of a lack of confidence in one's strengths and capabilities. Change the style of communication with the child, talk to him not like a parent with a child, but like best friends. Raise him confident in himself and his abilities, intellectually developed and physically strong. Then lies become meaningless.
6. Parents do not tell their children a lot because of their age, but do not forget that children should also have their own little secrets. Do not fish out all the children's secrets, respect your child and then you will become best friends!
Any deception causes an unpleasant feeling of disgust and resentment. But when your own child starts lying, it is doubly unpleasant. Many parents are faced with children's lies, and there are two opinions about the reasons for such an unpleasant phenomenon. The first is absolutely negative, when parents believe that the reason for children's lies is insufficiently strict upbringing and the bad influence of friends. The second opinion, which justifies when adults blame themselves for everything and believe that the child is constantly lying, only because he suffers from a lack of their attention.
In fact, you should not go to extremes. Childish deception is an undeniably negative phenomenon that must be stopped. But you can't do anything about it until you figure out the reasons for your child's behavior. But the reasons really most often lie in.
Why is the child lying
To understand why children lie, let's divide them into two age groups, kids under 7 years old and quite adult schoolchildren. This must be done because children in different periods of their growing up perceive the world differently. Children under 7 do not understand where real life ends and fantasy begins. They don't know that the heroes of fairy tales don't really exist, and that in ordinary life people cannot do all the things that mom and dad talk about every night before going to bed. Toddlers constantly fantasize, attribute magical properties to their toys, and sometimes they can shift the responsibility for their misdeeds onto them. This is because for young children the burden of responsibility for some actions sometimes turns out to be too great, and the fantastic world of fairy tales is so close. So they say that the dolls eat chocolate, which mom asked not to touch, and the bears break vases and plates.
Another reason why a child under 7 lies is because he lacks parental attention. If parents react violently to lies, the baby can constantly play pranks, only to feel at least for a while that he is the center of attention in the family.
Parents of children under 7 years of age should be indulgent with the inventions of their kids. Of course, you need to explain that it is very important for you that the child tells you the whole truth, and that in no case will you punish him for what he did. But it is rather necessary to establish trusting relationships and prevent deception in the future. In the meantime, the child is still quite small, you need to treat his inventions lightly and with humor.
The situation is much more serious if the child began to lie at school age. Adult children already understand that they are doing bad things and cross the line of what is permitted. But even in this case, parents should not attack the child with screams and accusations. The child looks like an adult, but he, as before, has a fragile psyche. If parents are very strict, do not allow anything and only make unreasonably high demands, lying can simply be the only salvation so as not to disappoint strict parents. Also, the child begins to lie if he knows that mom and dad react very violently, and possibly even aggressively, to the slightest misconduct. Therefore, if you are faced with such a problem, before scolding a child for torn diary sheets, or something like that, analyze if he is afraid to tell you about troubles at school. And if you feel that you are really being too demanding, then you should correct the line of your behavior and try.
How to wean a child to lie? The answer is simple, you need to eliminate those reasons that make him do it.
- You need to talk with children, share your experiences, and discuss all their problems. You should always try to help, and even if you cannot do something, the child must firmly know and believe that you are always on his side.
- And of course, less talk and more action! You yourself must become an example of honesty and decency. No need to lie in front of your own children. Even the little things, when you don't want to explain to your friends why you can't help, or tell your relatives why you don't visit them for the weekend. After all, in such situations we always “lie down with a fever, a sore throat and cannot leave the house.” And then we wonder why children pretend to be sick when they are too lazy to go to school.
It is difficult to determine exactly what is going on in a child's head at the moment when he is deceiving in order to help him later. Therefore, it is very important to initially create a pleasant and easy atmosphere of trust and respect in the family. A child who grows up in love, and most importantly has the opportunity to observe the trusting relationship of his parents, will not hide anything from them.
Parents and children should have friendly relations, you should not build a hierarchy in the family, and even more so, you should not expect submission from children. You must be open to discussing any issues and providing any assistance. A child will not lie to his best friend, and it would be nice if mom or dad were such a best friend.
Some parents are condescending to children's lies, thinking that this is only an intermediate stage in personality development. Of course, children love to fantasize wildly, but adults are obliged to consider alarm signals in the child's behavior in time. Let's take a look at some expert advice together and see if it's worth stopping a child's attempts to deceive you and how to wean a child from lying?
Julia, mother of 8-year-old Anya: “Once I returned home and did not find my favorite vase on the shelf next to the TV. Suspecting that this was the work of my daughter, I decided to ask her. Imagine my surprise when, to the question: “Did you break the vase?”, a frightened, but confident negative answer was heard. “No, mommy, not me,” my daughter said, hiding her eyes. But I, of course, could not fall the vase itself. There was no one else at home, so all the responsibility for what happened lies with my child. Why didn't she tell the truth?
What motivates a child to lie?
Much depends on age. The reasons why a child lies at 5 may be very different than at 13. One thing in common is that lying always backfires. Life principles are laid down in childhood, and it depends on how the rest of life will turn out.
To be a good psychologist for your children, it is important to understand the underlying causes of deception. There are several main factors:
- wild imagination;
- thirst for attention;
- fear of punishment;
- unwillingness to lose a good reputation or fear that they will stop loving him;
- desire to impress others.
Let's consider each of them in more detail.
Violent imagination or deliberate deceit?
To determine whether it is worth starting “preventive work” with a child about lying, it is important to find out if the child is aware that he is deceiving you. At an early age, up to about 5 years, children actively get acquainted with the world around them. This is expressed in the fact that they play role-playing games or copy someone. For example, showing you a cake in the sandbox and calling it a cake - is the child lying? No, his imagination draws a real cake and adults play along with him. This is how the creative thinking and imagination of the child develops.
Thirst for attention
Sometimes children tend to embellish reality or exaggerate. And sometimes the stories told by the child do belong to the genre of children's fiction. This is how the thirst for attention manifests itself, and parents take this behavior for a conscious deception.
Olga, mother of 4-year-old Ilya: “At one time, the son often began to fantasize and invent scary stories about himself. Then he had a terrible dream, then he saw a monster in the corner. We tried to explain that there are no monsters, but he stubbornly continued to lie, and told his stories at the most inopportune moment: now we are going to the kindergarten, now I am preparing dinner. Friends advised me to pay more attention to the child, and not at the moment when he would lie, but at another time. And in our schedule in the evenings, time was added for "heartfelt" conversations about the past day, about the garden, about the upcoming arrival of guests, about plans for the weekend. So we directed his fantasy in a peaceful direction, and Ilya received the desired share of attention.
Fear of punishment
It is impossible to condone deceit, or even more so, to encourage it. And yet it would be useful for parents to think: how do I react to the mistakes and misconduct of my child? Isn't it too strict? If a child is severely punished for every misstep, this will encourage him to resort to deception. Wanting to avoid another attack, he decides to simply lie. This option will seem much easier to him. This means that the fight against children's lies should begin with the work of adults on themselves.
Fear that his parents will stop loving him
Every time a child makes a mistake, he hears: "sad sack", "hands in the wrong place", "You're always doing it wrong" and sees the reproachful look of adults, he thinks that at such moments he is no longer loved. And it is very painful for him to hear such negative assessments of his personality. But children cannot help but make mistakes, because they are only learning to live. Therefore, the majority in such a situation prefer to lie, as 8-year-old Anya did from her mother's story at the beginning of the article.
Most often, they lie out of fear that their parents will fall out of love with children of preschool age.
Children at this age want to please their parents, meet their expectations and be the most loved. They are afraid that their “wrong” or “bad”, as they consider, behavior will not be liked by adults and prefer to lie in order to look good.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya, a psychologist-educator, winner of the Presidential Prize of the Russian Federation, describes a similar situation in this way: “The fact that a lie can upset an adult even more than the misconduct itself is still beyond understanding, deception seems to be a simple way to solve the problem: say “halvah” - and becomes sweet. If parents begin to give out such complex constructions as: “Tell me honestly, I won’t get angry, but I’ll punish you for lying,” the child turns out to be completely disoriented. After all, he understands that he acted badly, which is why he is lying. Why does dad not get angry for a bad deed, but threaten to punish him for trying to fix it? Usually such statements drive children into a deep stupor and they simply remain silent or repeat the lie in confusion, infuriating the parent.
In such situations, you need to use the child’s desire to please his parents and say something like this: "I love it when they tell the truth", or "I like being honest with me". But this will only work if the confession is not followed by punishment for the offense itself. Here it is important to inspire confidence in the child and wean him to lie, and to educate and correct mistakes is a second matter.
Strive to impress others
This factor is more typical for children's societies. Such lies are aimed at impressing peers - in this way the child is trying to assert himself or acquire a certain status. The danger of such a lie is that it can smoothly pass into adulthood.
Basic principles of combating children's lies
The German philosopher Immanuel Kant expressed an important idea: “There are two complex things in the world - to educate and manage.”
If you catch a child in a lie, don't panic. Get it all right first. Before somehow reacting to children's lies, it is important to consider motives and age. Perhaps he is still too small to deliberately deceive you, or this is just a harmless joke. But at school age, it's time to take action. How do you teach a child to cheat?
The role of parents in such a situation is not to make the child feel guilty, to expose him, or even more so, to punish him, but to help resolve the internal conflict.
Don't Punish - Solve Problems
Never punish children when a lie is exposed. It is unlikely that after that they will stop deceiving you. Most likely, the lie will become more skillful. It is better to help your child see the benefits of honesty. Help him correct the situation and make amends by becoming his ally, not his enemy.
It is impossible to threaten punishment for non-fulfillment of some conditions or for hypothetical misconduct. Instead, you need to help the child solve an emerging problem or teach him to solve it himself.
Svetlana, mother of 9-year-old Sasha: “We had planned a trip to the cinema for the weekend for a film that our son had been waiting for a long time. Sasha knew that for this he had to study well all week. He said that he wrote the test with excellent marks. But, having come to the parent meeting, I had to blush for bad grades. At the same time, we already went to the cinema, the son got what he wanted.
The boy has problems with his studies, but instead of telling his parents about it, he prefers to lie, because admitting to bad grades means losing the long-awaited movie. And most of the time, the parents are to blame. Instead of finding out what their son had with his studies, they took the simplest path - they began to act by blackmail.
Teach your child to be honest
To let your child see the importance of being honest, praise him for telling the truth. Do not get upset, do not scold or saw the child when he came to tell you that he broke the neighbor's window or got a deuce, but praise him for his honesty.
Alison Schaefer, Canadian psychotherapist and author of Good Leading Don’t Be Capricious, advises parents: “In order for a child to come to you with issues such as academic failure, drugs, pregnancy, etc., you must show him now, on trifles that he can trust you. Don't explode. Maintain your influence by keeping your relationship as a safe haven where you can afford to be imperfect."
Do not scold the child even after he admitted his lie. Thank him for his willingness to admit his mistakes and remind him that next time you don’t need to lie, you can just come and tell everything.
Do not provoke a child to lie
Instead of strictly asking: "Did you break the vase?" calmly say: "The vase is broken and we need to talk about what happened". Such a statement excludes the temptation of deceit and gives the child the opportunity to reconsider his behavior without fear of punishment or reprimand.
How to establish friendly contact, and why is it important?
Regardless of age, the child is looking for friends. If at 2 years old he needs playmates in the sandbox, then at 12 years old he wants full-fledged friendly communication. Try to become a good and reliable friend to your child even before the onset of puberty.
By becoming a true friend with whom the child himself wants to share victories and defeats, you will greatly simplify your parental role. The child will not want to lie to his best friend. And you can correct it in time and help make the right decisions.
It is also important in what form advice will be given. The child should not feel that you are teaching him. Let it be just a good parting word, and not an order from a strict parent. You will soon discover how willingly he listens to you.
Try to communicate more with your child. Play or walk together. Adapt to his age and do not strive to be better and more significant in everything. Never humiliate the dignity of your child. Do not criticize his every decision, but trust him more.
To what extent can the child be trusted?
The feeling of total control is unlikely to cause positive feelings in the child. As a parent, it is your responsibility to know how your son or daughter lives. But if the child is aware that you are trying to completely control him, he will have a desire to have his own space. This will lead to the fact that the child will begin to lie.
The child must be convinced that he enjoys your trust.
Don't follow every step and check every word he says. If possible, increase the "credibility". If the child feels this, then most likely he will value your trust and will not want to waste it.
Direct your child's imagination in the right direction
If your child likes to fantasize, then make sure he distinguishes fantasies from reality. Modern children, surrounded by fairies and monsters, superheroes and their evil enemies, can often confuse fiction and reality. Invite your child to write a story about their favorite character. Focus on the word "fairy tale", the child must understand that this is fiction.
Vika, mother of 5-year-old Seryozha: “Seryozha has a very rich imagination. Sometimes he can become so fantasized that he will scare himself and run screaming towards us. Once, while listening to another story about a monster named Shurupik, I decided to write it down. Then I retyped it on the computer, leaving room for the illustrations drawn by Serezha. Thus, the first book was born. Now we have about 20 of them."
For a child who fantasizes for the sake of trying to impress others, the method of persuasion will do. At the same time, focus on encouragement, not praise. Explain that he doesn't need to make things up to impress his peers. That he is already the most courageous, handsome or strong.
Set a positive example for your child
Try to always be honest. Do not lie, speak positively about those who lead an honest life.
Children are very attentive to their parents. Therefore, it is important that they have a positive and authoritative example before their eyes. Remember if there were such situations when someone came, and you did not want to meet the guests and simply asked your ten-year-old daughter to say: "There are no adults at home". Or maybe, having lingered with friends and a child in a cafe, you "taught" son correctly answer his mother, why returned so late. These small situations showed him how to avoid unpleasant consequences. As a result, the child has learned to lie. What will happen when the transitional age comes?
Never make promises that you are not going to keep.
Oksana, mother of 5-year-old Veronika: “Even before my daughter was 5 years old, she was constantly moaning in the store: “Mom, buy a doll, or a house, or a game.” And I did not find anything better than to answer: "I'll buy it for the New Year." My daughter was looking forward to the new year. And what was her grief when, instead of the five Winx dolls promised to her, she received only one and there were no more houses and games ... Since then, I tell my daughter the truth: "This toy is expensive, I can’t give it to you buy". Or "We did not plan to buy a toy today, let's plan next week, and no more than 200 rubles." And everything promised, but not presented for the New Year, we gave her for her birthday.
If you know that you were wrong in some situation, honestly admit it. Such frankness will certainly be appreciated. Your example will become a life guide even in the most difficult situations. Isn't that what you want for your child?
Conclusion
A restrained reaction, a kind approach and friendly relations will help you wean your child from lying. Calmly explain why being honest is better than being known as a liar.
Don't punish your child. So you encourage him not to hide his mistakes, honestly admit them and try to correct everything.
Set a positive example for him by always being honest. This will encourage the child to become a responsible adult.
Related videos
