A child is afraid and cries at the sight of strangers - what to do? What to do if your child begins to be afraid of strangers

anonymously

Hello. My son is 2.3 years old. From about the age of one and a half, he began to be very afraid of doctors (he couldn’t even listen with a stethoscope) and strangers in general. If people on the street try to bend over and talk to him, he runs away or hides behind me. If guests come, she doesn’t come out to them and even cries. When I was very little we went to visit. At first I was afraid there, but then I got used to it. He doesn’t want to play with the kids on the playground or in the sandbox. He loves us to walk together. He enjoys traveling in public transport and goes into large stores where there are a lot of people without any problems. But at home and in “personal” contact there are problems. Also shy of some cartoon characters or. for example, talking toys. He speaks very poorly himself. At the little school I was a little scared, but sat in my arms until the lesson began, where the teacher began to play the piano and began to address the children. Everyone was happy, but mine burst into tears so much that I had to leave. What could this be in your opinion? Will it “outgrow” with age or do we have some serious problems with socialization?

Hello. I understand your anxiety and hasten to reassure you: at this age, a child’s fear of strangers is a common occurrence. This is in no way an indication of socialization problems. You write: “he doesn’t want to play with the children on the playground or in the sandbox.” As a rule, at this age, some children play not with each other, but next to each other - this is normal. Many children first need to take a closer look at the “stranger” before letting him closer, and when a stranger bends down and tries to speak, a small child’s fear is understandable: he may perceive this as a premature invasion of his personal space. You write: “He speaks very poorly himself.” Have you visited a speech therapist with your child in order to determine whether the child’s speech development is progressing according to age? You write: “the teacher began to play the piano and began to address the children. Everyone was happy, but mine burst into tears...” Perhaps your little son is a sensitive, vulnerable child, with... This is not a diagnosis, these are characteristics of the child’s emotional sphere. With age, this vulnerability and anxiety will decrease. Such children need a friendly atmosphere, a minimum of critical statements and a maximum of support and approval - this is enough so that with age they cease to differ in their emotional reactions from their peers.

anonymously

Thank you very much for your prompt response! We have not yet visited a speech therapist (how can we work with him if the baby is afraid of everyone?) We had an appointment with a neurologist, who prescribed Pantogam with glycine, followed by Magne B6. He communicates only with family members and the nanny, to whom we take him for 2 hours every day. She behaves normally. I am very worried because I plan to send him to kindergarten for about 3 years, how will he socialize in a group of unfamiliar adults (teachers) and children? Surely this is just a case of increased anxiety, plus he is very “homey”. What would you, as a specialist, advise me? Some say take him as much as possible to developmental centers, playgrounds, and visits (despite even crying), others advise to wait and not force him into the company of strangers. I really hope for your answer. Thank you very much in advance. Sincerely.

You write: “We have not yet visited a speech therapist (how can we deal with him if the baby is afraid of everyone?”. As a rule, speech therapists do not work with such young children, a speech therapist can advise you about the child’s speech development, can determine whether it is sufficient or not, he will give you recommendations based on his observations of the child or from your description of how the baby speaks.However, it is not necessary to do this right now, you can wait up to 3 years.The fact that you are seeing the baby at the neurologist is very good. You write: "Some say, take him as much as possible to development centers, playgrounds, visits (despite even crying), others advise you to wait and not impose on him the company of strangers. "I would categorically advise you not to forcibly socialize the baby despite crying. This can injure his psyche. If you are taking drugs from a neurologist (pantogam, glycine, magne B6 are soft drugs), there should be positive dynamics against their background. Be sure to visit this neurologist again after drinking the course to he adjusted further treatment if necessary. Therefore, you need to wait before imposing communication. Let your baby get used to some place where there are his peers. Do not rush the child, do not push him to contact with others, give him the opportunity to get used to the new environment in your arms or with your protection. Let your baby decide for himself whether he wants communication or not. If he doesn’t want to, we must respect his wishes. Most likely, it will be difficult for him to adapt to kindergarten, you need to be ready for this. But this is practically the norm for such a child. With soft, friendly care, such children “outgrow” these problems by the time they are at school.

: Reading time:

The psychologist tells why children are afraid of unfamiliar and strangers, how parents should act, and what should not be done.

“How afraid Masha is of strangers, it’s just some kind of horror,” Mom Anya shared with her friend in line. “If someone she doesn’t know says a word to her, that’s it!” Hysterics! It was nothing before, but it’s getting worse and worse. It's impossible to walk. At the clinic he hides behind me and yells. I feel like I’m in a cage... But what can I do, I have to go to work soon. I don’t know how she’ll go to the garden like this... Recently they celebrated her two, her mother-in-law came to visit. Grandmother to Masha: “My dear!”, and she left her under the sofa and in tears. My mother-in-law told me this! Like, I completely spoiled the child, how is it possible - the child does not recognize his own blood! She is also good, “darling”, she hasn’t seen her granddaughter for six months and wouldn’t come for another three. The husband also says that it’s not normal for a child to shy away from strangers so much. What to do?

“Or maybe the mother-in-law is right,” the next-door neighbor intervened. - There is no point in indulging your daughter. Just think, roaring cow. When Vanka was a year old, he was also afraid of strangers. What kind of life is this - not meeting anyone, not going anywhere. I didn’t pay attention to his nagging. So she told him: “I don’t need a coward, I’ll leave you here.” I've learned to cry like a darling. Leave it with your mother-in-law for half a day, she will quickly stop being afraid!

The dispute flared up in earnest. Mom Anya was ready to fall underground. “Of course, I shouldn’t have started all this, but who should I ask? Who is right?"

What should a parent do when a child is afraid of strangers?

I would outline the following action plan: calm down, assess the situation, stop reinforcing the child’s fears with your behavior and, if necessary, seek help.

First, the heroine needs to calm down. The parent's condition is passed on to the child. An adult's positive attitude will give the child courage. And if a frightened child sees fear and uncertainty on his mother’s face, he begins to be even more afraid. “Even an adult can’t cope with the situation, it seems like everything is really bad...” - the child feels and begins to behave even worse. The child’s actions cause a new wave of negative thoughts in the woman. Often she begins to think that the child is always afraid of strangers, and shares her experiences out loud with friends and acquaintances. The baby hears the conversations, sees how much his mother is worried, and becomes even more tense. That's it, the circle is closed.

Mom Anya needs to deal with herself first, and not with her daughter. How can a parent stop bad thoughts? Try not to think about the yellow bear for a minute. What, exactly is your last thought about him? Now think about the striped elephant. Now you are interested in the stripes on the elephant or its trunk, but certainly not in the yellow bear! It's the same in life. Mom Anya should switch her attention to other topics:

Dream about pleasant things for yourself.
Ask your friend in more detail what is good in her life. Joy, like fear, is “contagious.”
Look around carefully, doing things for the benefit of others also lifts your spirits.
It is useful to think about your daughter’s strengths: she is predictable in her behavior, she is careful, she has her own opinion - this is valuable!

From the practice of a psychologist, I know that things in her inner world, often from childhood, prevent her from turning off scary pictures. Memory is designed in such a way that unpleasant things are forgotten. Therefore, it may be difficult for a mother to remember the situation from which it all began, and it may be difficult to connect past experiences with the present.

One woman, whose child is afraid of strangers, was overprotective of the girl. Relatives and friends told her that such care was harmful for the child. Mom agreed with them, but could not do anything. The woman did not find understanding in her environment; they told her: “It’s so simple, don’t indulge your daughter!”

She felt like a worthless mother until she came to me. After listening, I suggested looking for the causes of the problem not only in the present, but also in the past. And it dawned on mom! She remembered how the teacher locked her in a dark closet. As a little girl, the woman experienced real horror. And now she protected her daughter from any, even imaginary, danger. We played out the situation with the help of figures in the sandbox, and the woman told the evil teacher everything she had wanted for a long time. I finished the story and stopped worrying. And the child became more open and sociable.

As soon as the parent has broken (or shaken) the vicious circle of anxiety between himself and the child, he needs to deal with the cause of the fear.

Why are children afraid of strangers?

Many one-year-old babies are afraid of strangers. At seven to ten months, the child begins to distinguish between “friends”, and shows wariness towards others. With loved ones it is certainly safe and comfortable, but with others it is unknown. Therefore, when babies see a stranger, they huddle close to their mother and catch her reaction. If the new adult behaves kindly and does not insist on a quick response from the baby, the child gradually gets used to it and begins to communicate. And if an adult (like the heroine’s mother-in-law) is offended and demands an immediate response, the child may shut down. Moreover, he will be afraid of other “strangers”.

According to statistics, this fear is most disturbing at the age of one to one and a half years, and by two or three years it gradually disappears. The kid understands that communicating with other adults can be interesting and useful.

Normal fear can develop into “abnormal” fear if adults behave incorrectly. The advice of a neighbor taking turns is harmful for the baby. It is possible that the problem is not visible now, but will make itself felt in the future.

To help her daughter, the heroine needs to find out the cause of the problem. Answers to the following questions will help you find it:

How long has your child been afraid of strangers?
When did it start? After some event, during a certain period of time? Or was there always fear?
Is the baby’s behavior when meeting strangers always the same, or does the fear either intensify or weaken at times?
Does the child treat all strangers equally? Or is someone more afraid? Men or women? Old or young?
How do you behave when you meet someone you don't know? What stories related to strangers do you keep in your memory?

Here are the most common causes of fear:

Child's past experiences.
Features of the child, given by nature.
Family situation.

Child's past experiences. This fear appears after a specific situation. Maybe the child was frightened by a stranger, and now he is afraid of a repeat. In this case, the reason is on the surface, it is easy to guess. It is important to explain to the child what happened and what to do if this happens again.

For example, a child was scared by a clown at a birthday party, and now he is afraid of men. You can make up a short story about how a boy met a brightly dressed noisy clown. The boy got scared and hid in his mother's arms. But then I saw that the artist was handing out ice cream, blowing soap bubbles, everyone was having fun, and not at all scary, and he went to play with the guys. Let your child draw pictures to go with your story or put on a real theatrical performance using their favorite toys.

Features of the child, data from nature. Another reason why a child is afraid of strangers is the child’s characteristics. In this case, the child always behaves the same way with strangers. Fear appeared as soon as the baby learned to distinguish strangers. It gets a little easier with age, but the problem does not disappear.

Think about what kind of person your baby is? Some chatter incessantly, while others speak with dignity and to the point. One easily changes playing partners, the other builds strong relationships. One is hiding from strangers, the other is ready to leave with the first person he meets.

Alas, we cannot change what is given by nature, but we can turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Fearful children are often sensitive. They see things in the world that another peer would not notice. For example, he will not communicate with the guest because of a subtle unpleasant aroma. Parents need to be attentive to such “quirks” of children. Don't scold, but try to understand. Learn what to really pay attention to and what not to.

Some children learn new things on their own, others by watching others. Children of the first type easily begin to play in a new company, but they often learn the rules only by accidentally breaking them. The latter first observe who is what, what is allowed here and what is prohibited. And then they play by the rules. Both strategies have their pros and cons. But adults often don’t let little “spectators” see enough. Then they enter the game internally unprepared, and this can provoke fear. Parents need to give the baby time to get comfortable.

Family situation. Fear either intensifies or weakens, depending on what is happening between relatives. This reason most likely led to fear in the girl Masha.

This is hardly the first clash between mother and mother-in-law. The husband's relatives interfere wherever they ask. To resist them, the mother closes herself off from everyone and rarely goes out “into the world” with the child. So my daughter is afraid of new people.

General advice does not work here, because each individual child has his own reason. It can be difficult to identify. Firstly, parents are involved in the situation, so it is difficult for them to see what is happening from the outside. Secondly, there are usually several reasons why a child is afraid of strangers. One thing “overlays” the other, it’s difficult to figure out where to start. A competent psychologist will tell parents why the child is afraid and teach them how to communicate with strangers.

What not to do if a child is afraid of other people

It is unacceptable to punish a child for crying and hiding - after all, the baby does not want to “annoy an adult.” He wants to communicate and please his mother... He doesn’t do it on purpose, he can’t do it any other way. Therefore, there is nothing to punish him for.

Some may, like Vanya, behave well for fear of punishment. But in this case, the problem will “go inside”: the child will be capricious for no reason, bite his nails, get sick often, and have trouble sleeping. Not all parents will understand that these troubles arose due to “repressed” fear. Most children become even more afraid of adult violence and behave even worse.

Treat “bad” behavior calmly, and praise small steps in the fight against fear. He cried, and then fell silent for a second: “Oh, how glad I am for the silence!” He turned to look at the stranger: “Hurray! How nice it is for uncle to see your eyes!” Children strive to repeat what pleases adults. Use this feature.

When children are afraid of strangers, you shouldn’t shame them, call them a coward, or say: “It’s not scary at all.” Guilt is added to fear; it is even more difficult to cope with two feelings. To an adult who likes to shame, the child stops talking about problems. He tries to solve everything himself, for fear of receiving another “portion” of moralizing.

If something really terrible happens to the grown-up Vanya, for example, he is bullied or extorted money from him, his mother will not know about it and will not be able to help. It is important to convey to the child that sometimes everyone is afraid, even adults. A brave person differs from a coward in that he can admit a problem and overcome fear.

You should not force a child to communicate with strangers, much less leave him with someone whom the child is afraid of. Show kindness to strangers, give your child time to take a closer look. Wait until the baby makes contact on his own. It can be helpful to tell a stranger about your child's special needs. Start with a compliment to win over your interlocutor, and then ask him to wait until the child gets comfortable. Mom Anya could answer her mother-in-law as follows: “Thank you for your attention to raising our child. You probably know that children have short memories. Wait a little, she will get used to it and start communicating with you, but for now I ask you to come to the table.”

When is the best time to ask for help?

In the case of Anya’s mother, fear disrupts the entire life of the family and becomes stronger. This is not normal and will not go away on its own. My daughter needs specialist help.

You should contact a psychologist in the following cases:

Fear of strangers makes life difficult for the child and his family. As in the case of Anya’s mother, the child does not go out for walks, it is impossible to leave him with anyone.
The baby grows, but becomes more and more unsociable. After two years, it is advisable to consult a psychologist. After three years, you need to see a neurologist and psychiatrist.
Because of fear of strangers, the child cannot be in society. Communication with other children and adults is important for normal development. If the situation is not corrected, the child will turn into a shy teenager and an unsociable adult.
If, after meeting strangers, the baby does not eat well and sleeps restlessly.

Let's summarize. If a child is afraid of strangers, the parent needs:

Calm down;
Determine the cause of what is happening;
Do not worsen the situation with illiterate actions;
Consider whether the baby needs specialist help.

And you, dear readers, what do you think Mom Anya should do?

Content

From the first day of birth of a child, changes occur in his life every day, he grows and develops. At first, the newborn only sleeps and eats, then gradually begins to show interest in the world around him, listen to adults, play and learn. The newborn’s awareness of everything that happens around him also changes.

As children approach the age of one year, they develop fears, and the first of them is the fear of strangers and strangers. Most often, such fear appears in a child simultaneously with the fear of the absence of his mother nearby. Such fear is a completely normal and justified feeling. At one year of age, the baby is much more mature than a newborn, and parents sometimes leave him, for example, with grandmothers, aunts or even a nanny.

Why are children afraid of strangers?

The main reason for fear of strangers is the comfort and calmness when mom is nearby. The child develops attachment to the people he sees most often around him. And accordingly, wariness and fear of unfamiliar faces, often men, appear. Children perceive each other calmly and normally at any age.

The newborn is so accustomed to the fact that his mother is always nearby, within his sight and reach, that even her temporary absence frightens him. Some parents say that sometimes you can’t even go to the toilet in peace; the child stands at the door and cries. It is precisely this anxiety about the absence of the mother that is superimposed on the fear of other strangers.

The child is afraid that the appearance of a new person in his field of vision is associated with the absence of his mother, or her possible absence. Therefore, he is wary of all strangers and may show signs of fear of them. To prevent the mother from disappearing and not to be left alone with a stranger, the child may begin to cry loudly and tightly grab onto the mother’s saving hand. At this moment, parents may have a completely natural question: what to do with this fear and how to help?

What parents can do

Fear of strangers can appear in children as young as 8 months, but it happens that it appears closer to the age of two. Such fear can be expressed loudly in the form of tears and hysterics, and sometimes manifests itself in embarrassment and reluctance to talk to a new person. Parents with their behavior can significantly aggravate the situation, or they can help the child cope with fear and shyness. The child’s further attitude towards new and unfamiliar people depends on the reaction of adults.

If a mother communicates with a stranger, introduces the child to him, does not go anywhere and does not leave the baby, he will develop trust in the stranger, and after a while he will be friends with him, communicating calmly. However, you should not insist on acquaintance between a child and another adult, force him to talk or play. This should happen by itself in such a period of time as the baby needs it, and not adults.

A good option for a toddler to communicate with an unfamiliar adult may be if the baby sits in his mother’s arms, feels her support and confidence that everything is fine and there is nothing to be afraid of. Some children are so contactable and sociable that after a couple of minutes they can already begin to independently communicate with a stranger. Others need more time and a constant feeling that mom is nearby and everything is okay.

If a child sees a stranger for the second and third time, he will begin to recognize him and can include him in the circle of “his” adults. If this does not happen, do not worry or be nervous; it will take more time for your baby to meet and communicate with some people.

If the family needs to leave a child with strangers, a grandmother or a nanny, you need to be patient so that the baby gets used to the new person. It is better to start acquaintances in advance in order to have some time to overcome the fear of strangers. You need to spend time together at least a few times: mother, child and stranger. Having learned to trust him, it will be much easier for the baby to let his mother out of his sight.

If a child’s fear of strangers manifests itself in hysterics and tears, he does not allow other adults except his mother to approach him, even after several acquaintances, and does not want to accept the words of adults that he is a friend and his own person, then you should think about it and consult with a specialist . In extreme forms of expression, fear can be a pathology or disorder in the functioning of the child’s nervous system.

Parents' mistakes

When trying to introduce a child to new adults or leave him with a stranger for a while, some parents make mistakes that can aggravate the situation. If you know and take them into account, you can try to avoid wrong behavior. Parents make mistakes in such cases:

When a stranger appears, the tone of voice and the atmosphere of the conversation change; the child will immediately sense the change and become wary.
They force the child to meet and communicate with a new person, forcing them to talk, play, and show their toys.
They worry and worry whether he will be able to find a common language with a stranger, and the excitement is passed on to the baby.
When a child’s fear appears, parents immediately take him to a separate room or ask a stranger to move away. The baby will understand that with his certain actions, his mother will do as he wants and will use this in the future.

Fear of strangers will pass over time as unnoticed as it arose. Only some children remain shy and afraid of communicating with new people throughout their lives, but most overcome this at an early age.

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about what to do and how to behave if a child is afraid of strangers. In this article we will look at the reasons that can cause such fears; you will find out what mistakes you can make in such a situation. You will become aware of how and why the baby shows fear of strangers depending on the age periods.

Why is the child afraid of people

One of the most common options, especially at an early age, is the fear that mom will be kidnapped. The baby is still quite closely attached to her, and when some stranger appears, the child cannot know that he will not harm her.
The preconditions for fear of strangers are strengthened by a long separation from the mother, in particular in a situation when she got sick and the baby was isolated from her.
A year old child is afraid of strangers, because he is used to only a narrow circle of friends. For a long time, his field of vision included relatives and no strangers. However, if they rarely appear, the child will also begin to think that they are strangers and will be afraid of them.

I have this situation. When my niece was less than a year old, this was not very noticeable. And when I turned one year old, she stopped recognizing me. The fact is that I came to visit once every two weeks. And more often Nastenka communicated with me on Skype. By the way, when I saw it on the screen, I always recognized it. And when I arrived, I was afraid and didn’t even want to approach me. Then, after a couple of hours, she finally got used to my presence and could even go to my arms. Now she is almost three years old and there is no such problem. Although now we live even further from each other and, at best, see each other once every two months.

In most cases, the child is afraid of male representatives, especially those who clearly differ from their parents in behavior and temperament, especially from their mother.
Perhaps there was a previous case when a stranger harmed a child, said or did something wrong, or offended the mother, for example. The baby retains this in his memory and that is why he now reacts this way.
Fear of strangers can only be a stage of adaptation. If a 1 year old baby is afraid of a stranger, there is nothing wrong with that. Over time, the child will get used to it and stop being afraid. But you should be wary in a completely opposite situation, when your little one calmly walks into the arms of everyone as a stranger, without a grain of fear or doubt.

Parents' mistakes

Quite often, the reason that a child develops fears of strangers is the incorrect behavior of the parents. What actions are wrong:

When meeting a stranger, the mother may change the intonation of the conversation, and this in turn will alert the child.
Parents may worry that the little one will not be able to accept a stranger. These experiences are passed on to the child, and he begins to fear strangers even before meeting them.
When the baby does not show any interest in a new person, and the parents force him to make friends with him, and even go to his arms or show his toys.
Some parents, when they see that the child does not like the stranger or has scared him in some way, take the child away and ask the stranger not to approach. Such behavior will incorrectly affect the child’s perception, and he will also feel that his mother can fulfill his every whim.

In most cases, the fear of strangers goes away as the child gets older. Although there are situations when an adult withdraws into himself, does not make contact, and practically does not communicate with anyone or get to know anyone.

Age features

We can conditionally distinguish three periods in the life of children when their fear of strangers awakens, but they are caused by different factors. Let's take a closer look at them.

Age approaching one year (seven to eight months) and up to two years. The main reason for fear is the loss of mother. The kid is distrustful of strangers. He is very attached to his mother and cannot live without her care and warmth. At this age, it is generally difficult to leave a child without his mother for a long time and without tears. And when an unknown person appears, it scares the baby. But you need to understand that the child will outgrow this fear.
Ages from two to four years. Most experts are inclined to believe that fear of strangers up to two years of age is a variant of the norm, and over two years of age is a deviation. This means that a decision must be made to eliminate such fear. During this age period, it is considered normal to become acquainted with apprehension and wariness, but not panic and hysteria at the sight of a stranger. In this case, you will need to consult a neurologist and possibly a psychologist. It is possible that something happened in early childhood that left an imprint on the child’s entire future life and now sits on a subconscious level, gradually gnawing at the child. This is why consultation with a psychologist is extremely important. If you do not pay attention to problems of this kind in time, the child may develop serious psycho-emotional problems and it will be difficult for him in adulthood.
Children over four years of age. At this age, a child should no longer panic or be nervous at the sight of a stranger. The baby may simply dislike the stranger or not want to communicate with him, but nothing more. If a child at this age literally shrinks from strangers, most likely the reason is psychological trauma and the child feels threatened by any adult. Only a psychiatrist can help here.

Fear of other people's children

Perhaps the child is happy to go outside and takes his favorite toys with him. But when he approaches the playground, he sees unfamiliar children and refuses to go further. What causes this fear:

The child does not know how to behave with new children.
The toddler is confused about how he will play with his toys in the presence of other children.
The kid doesn't know how to start a conversation.
The child is worried that his toys will be taken away from him.
He may not know what to do and what not to do in such a new environment.

How to help your baby

The most important thing is to be patient. It may take days, weeks, or even months until the child can stop being afraid of a stranger and accept him into his circle. The main thing is not to rush it, do not rush the adaptation process. Understand that over time the baby will get used to the new person and stop being afraid of him.
If the little one is afraid of relatives or, for example, a nanny, show by your behavior that these are good and close people and you can trust them.
Practice fairy tale therapy. You can also show cartoons about friendship. Come up with a story in which two strangers or, for example, a cat and a bunny meet. Turn the story around in such a way that the child can understand that nothing bad happened and the characters became friends and were able to have fun. Even better if you have wrist puppets. You will be able to stage a whole performance, it will be more interesting for the child to watch everything, and the material presented will be more accessible and understandable.
Often, a child is helped by a story from mom or dad about their fear, which was successfully overcome.
Introduce your child to strangers (who need to be friends with the baby) in absentia. Show your toddler a photo of your friend, tell her name, describe her character, positive aspects. Repeat this every day. Then, flipping through the album, ask who is shown in the photograph; your child will probably already be able to answer you. This way, the child will be practically not afraid when meeting in person. After all, in fact, he already knows this person.

Now you know what can provoke the development of fear in children. After reading the article, you understood how it is necessary to deal with childhood phobia, and how to help a child in such a situation. The main thing is not to forget about the mistakes made, sometimes even by experienced parents, so that you personally do not become the reason for the development of fear of strangers.

Many parents are faced with the fact that a child who calmly communicates and communicates with other people suddenly develops unreasonable fears. When he sees a stranger, he runs and hugs his family, trying to hide. This behavior can appear in children as young as 8 months. In psychology it is called “fear of strangers”.

Why is a child afraid of other children?

The behavior of a child who is afraid of other children is similar in most cases. Parents note that at first he willingly goes for a walk, takes toys with him with a desire to play with other children. The closer they get to the playground, the more anxious the baby’s mood becomes.

When he sees children playing on the playground and hears their voices, he may refuse to go play, arguing that “It’s already busy” or “I don’t want to play, there are other children there already.” At the same time, he clings to his mother or hides behind her.

It is obvious that the baby has a desire to play with similar children, but the fear is great . He takes over the desire to play together.

Why is this happening?

The reasons may be different. Often the fear of other children stems from the fact that the baby does not know:

what to do with other children;
how to play with them;
how to communicate;
what can and cannot be done;
how to ask or defend your toy.

In this case, it is important at the initial stage of development to help overcome simple childhood problems together with parents.

Important! Until the age of 3, the baby communicates more with adults and learns from them the rules of behavior and manipulation of various objects. Everything that happens around him “absorbs” like a sponge.

From the age of 3, according to experts, the need to play with other children arises. At this age, babies begin to learn how to apply the information received. Usually these are role-playing games, and they need a partner for this game.

In their games, they, imitating adults, reproduce what they saw from others or on TV. Further, while playing, they communicate with each other.

By the age of four, the need for communication comes to the fore. But do not forget that each child is individual in terms of the pace of development. It also happens that he has not “grown up” to this stage.

Reasons for a child's fear of strangers

At 6-7 months of age, the baby experiences an anxious period when he is afraid of strangers. He clearly distinguishes "his own", and expresses dissatisfaction with the presence of "strangers". This is usually manifested when a stranger wants to take him in his arms. The baby is afraid, cries, and may scream even in those moments when a stranger tries to come closer.

Such a reaction at this age is rather a pattern. And it can be explained this way: the person who takes care of the baby is a guarantor of safety for him.

Psychologists have noticed that a child’s fear of strangers also depends on the emotional state of the mother. That is, the baby instinctively reads the reaction from the mother’s expressed concern to the appearance of a stranger.

If you show sincere joy when you see familiar people, then the baby will trust this person and will not worry in his presence. To prevent this period from continuing for a long time, teach him to communicate with other people. In the future, when the baby goes to kindergarten, she will easily get used to the group. And then she will not have difficulties in adapting to school. Sometimes the period of fear of strangers can last until the age of two.

Where does the children's fear of doctors come from?

Often in a children's clinic you can observe how a mother and son or daughter are waiting for a doctor's appointment, and the baby bursts into tears and with all his appearance shows hostility towards people in white coats. What is the reason for the children's fear of doctors?

If the doctor has caused pain to the young patient during previous visits, then most likely this can cause fear. At a subsequent visit, the child will be afraid to experience similar painful sensations.

It is important to establish positive contact when meeting with the doctor.

Young children are generally strongly attached to their parents. When a stranger begins to touch the belly and touch the body with a cold stethoscope, this will cause, at a minimum, bewilderment on the part of the baby.

Sometimes doctors, due to their busyness or fatigue, do not behave very tactfully or even rudely. In any patient, this will cause a negative reaction. In this case, you need to point out the mistakes in the working methods to the doctor or contact another specialist.

The cause of children's fear can also be the fear of being alone.

Table: norms for a child’s fear of other children, strangers, etc., reasons for fears

How to deal with a child's fears and where to turn: expert advice

There are different opinions among parents about children's fears. Some believe that by the age of sixteen all existing fears should pass, and there is no need to worry about it ahead of time. Others argue that their children should not be afraid of anyone or anything at all. Opinions are different, but they all come down to one thing: if fears do not allow you to live in peace, you need to fight them.

The first thing to do is not to turn away from the baby. . Don’t tell him: “Shame on you, he’s already so big!” Such phrases will not reduce the feeling of fear, but will only make him feel guilty. The child will not want to contact you next time, and his fears will be buried deep in the subconscious, which can only aggravate the situation.
Support your son or daughter in a stressful situation . Tell me that you were also afraid of someone as a child. There is no need to explain: “Baba Yaga does not exist,” he himself realizes this with age. Ask him about his fears. Seeing your support, he will not be so afraid.
Talk about fears . Together, determine what the child is afraid of and the possible cause of the fear. Consider what needs to be done to get rid of fears or reduce them. But do not take drastic measures, otherwise he will think that his fears are justified.
Be confident and show it to your baby . Support from a loved one is extremely important to him: “I won’t let you get hurt,” “I’m nearby,” “I’ll help.” Tell him that he can handle it, and you will support him in this.
If fears interfere with the baby, and he sleeps poorly or becomes aggressive and is also withdrawn from society, immediately seek help from a child psychologist or psychotherapist.

Banish childhood fears with your child! Stay close to your baby and it will bring you good results!