The child is shy at school. Shy child - how to liberate a shy child

What to do if the child is afraid to speak at the matinee? Is he shy of unfamiliar people, hiding behind his mother? Or, at an older age, is he shy when he is asked to go to the blackboard and answer in class? Or avoid new acquaintances? In this article, we will try to show how you can help your shy child gain confidence.

Where does shyness come from in children?

Shyness (shyness or shyness) appears as a result of self-doubt. The child is afraid to receive a negative assessment and hear criticism from others: teachers, educators, peers, strangers or unfamiliar people. In this situation, the child does not believe in his own strength, he is constantly worried that something will not work out for him, and he will be ridiculed.

We can say that shyness is a property of character, because even twins brought up in the same family in the same conditions have different characters, like the “level of shyness”. The more emotional and sensitive the character, the more susceptible he is to criticism, the more timid the child will be.

The child is afraid to get into an awkward position, so he tries with all his might to get away from situations that cause him anxiety and stress.

Shy child: what should parents do?

The main helpers in overcoming shyness are parents, who should try to lay the foundation of self-esteem in the child.

The main tasks of parents:

develop a positive attitude towards life in the child;
develop an adequate and confident attitude towards oneself;
instill a sense of self-worth.

Positive attitude towards yourself and life

You are the main assistant in overcoming shyness!

Before expressing your attitude, carefully understand the situation that could cause undesirable behavior of the child. A shy child is afraid of being ridiculed, regards criticism and comments addressed to him as a betrayal. This does not mean that you need to praise the child for misconduct, but be extremely careful about your comments.

Appropriate and self-confident attitude

Praise boosts self-esteem. It is important to the child and to criticize correctly.
Self-confidence comes when there is an experience of success. Only the gradual acquisition of positive experience "from simple to complex" in different areas will help overcome shyness. You can start by solving simple everyday problems. Give the child small assignments (for example, to buy something in the store on your own), having previously explained to him in detail what needs to be done and how, to whom and what to say - this will reduce fear. If the child succeeds, praise and encourage him. As positive experience is accumulated, self-confidence will increase.
Evaluate not the child, but his actions. Change not the child, but his behavior. Perhaps the child has not yet had time to acquire the necessary skills - help him with this, this will help reduce the level of anxiety.
Teach your child communication skills. Expand your horizons - this will make it easier to find common interests and points of contact with other people.
Help your child resolve issues that may cause criticism from others. For example, if you are overweight, help bring it back to normal by organizing proper nutrition; if the teeth have grown crooked, consult an orthodontist - this can be corrected; be more careful about the clothes your child wears.
Don't let anyone make fun of your child!

Self-confidence comes when there is an experience of success.

Self-esteem

Teach your child to be calm about mistakes: no one is safe from them, we learn from them all our lives.
Every person has strengths and weaknesses. It is important for a child to see his strengths, learn how to use them and not get hung up on shortcomings: “I may not be a very good athlete, but I play the guitar very well.”
Raise your children to be active and independent. Let the child have his own opinion, let him defend it with reason. Obedient and consonant children always and in everything - this is so convenient for parents and teachers, but by doing this we destroy an independent person.
Teach your child to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions as early as possible - this is the only way to develop confidence and independence.

Timid children do not feel the fullness of life, a lot of strength is taken away by the struggle with anxiety and uncertainty. By helping your child overcome painful shyness at an early age, you will be doing him an invaluable service. As you get older, the problem of shyness can get worse, and it will be even more difficult to overcome it.

After all, we, parents, are happy when the child is successful, joyful and feels the taste of life.

larisa chudinova
Shy child.

shy child.

Shyness is a trait. It occurs in approximately 15% of children. For the first time, shyness manifests itself in two years. But not necessarily from shy people grow up shy adults.

And so, how do shy children behave.

The shy kid knows what to do, wants it, but cannot apply his knowledge.

These children are very obedient. Usually in a group shy child may be an observer who does not participate in what is happening, but carefully observes the children from the side, prefers to play alone, instead of joining a group of children.

Shy children are often led by more active peers, subject to their influence. Many adults consider them well-mannered and obedient, while internally child very shy and uncomfortable in communication with strangers.

Most often, adults turn to a specialist only when shyness obviously begins to interfere with them and themselves. to kid: he is afraid of everything that is unfamiliar to him, refuses to communicate with his peers, constantly blushes when they turn to him. When guests come to the house, he can hide or cry, he behaves uneasily. The child is not responding, even if he knows the answer to the question, can not do anything in the presence of strangers, begins to stutter heavily or non-stop chatting and talking nonsense. The problem is that the fear of the new, the fear of drawing attention to oneself blocks the development of both the emotional and intellectual spheres of the personality. child. Such children have poor play activity, since even the simplest everyday task is unsolvable for them - to approach another, ask for a toy, agree on a joint game.

Despite outward insensitivity, shy children experience the same storm of emotions as other children who do not have developmental problems. But they cannot manifest them, react outwardly. This may encourage children "boil" inside and often turn this negative energy on themselves, which stimulates the development of neurotic manifestations (tics, tingling, etc.)

It can be assumed that the opinion about low self-esteem in shy children is erroneous. Experimental studies show that shy children rate themselves quite highly. The problem is their tendency to think that others treat them badly. This is the personality trait of the shy children: every action child checks through the opinions of others, his attention is focused more on how adults evaluate his actions.

Very often there are shy children who have authoritarian parents who place unreasonably high hopes on their child. Thus, child a complex of inconsistency develops, and he is more and more convinced of his insolvency. Hence the refusal to act.

It must be remembered that shyness is a character trait and child does not choose, be him shy or not. Parents sometimes put pressure on the baby, considering him shyness, fear that his interests will be infringed, especially in the group. Parents scream at child or make fun of him, insist that he participate in social events. The child feels that parents are upset or angry, and suffer a lot from this.

Shyness is also found in children brought up in single-parent families by single mothers. The increased anxiety of such mothers, who constantly try to control their children, contributes to the fact that children gradually lose confidence in the world and the people around them.

How can parents help the shy to kid

First of all, appreciate your baby. Everyone has it the child has positive commendable traits. Every baby is unique. An essential part of raising shy kids is finding those special traits. Need help to kid develop its inherent virtues. It can be sports talent or interest in animals, etc. If child find something to his liking, he will act more confidently. It is important for him to have conversations with peers about the subject in which he is well versed. As soon as the baby learns to establish friendly bonds with other children, he will have friends.

Do not patronize children excessively, do not suppress their will, more often provide the opportunity to act independently. Play, have fun, be naughty with child on an equal footing

Come up with various stories with him, the main characters of which will be him and his comrades.

Teach him to openly and calmly express his own opinion, to prove it without raising his voice, without tantrums and resentment. Be more with child on the street so that from a very early age he can get used to the fact that he lives among people and that communication with them is not a necessity, but a pleasant pastime. Shy child feels much calmer at home, so invite other children to visit. Welcome and support the aspiration child to communicate with peers, to create good relationships with them. The praise of parents is a wonderful stimulus for every child.

Lugovskaya A., Kravtsova M. M., Shevnina O. V. child without problems! A guide for parents. – M.: Eksmo, 2008. – 352 p.

Heim G. Jeannott. Children and us. - St. Petersburg: "Crystal". 1996. - 464 p.

Shirokova G. A. Practicum for a child psychologist. – Ed. 7th. -Rostov n / D: Phoenix, 2010. - 314s.

The problem of adult shyness does not arise out of the blue - its roots come from childhood. A shy child does not cause problems with upbringing, and therefore is considered an example to follow, and only over the years this character trait begins to cause concern.

Why is the child shy?

There are several reasons for a baby to become shy and it is not always possible to determine them. The child is shy if:

he has a biological predisposition inherited from shy parents;
the problem is ridiculed in the family when a shy child does not receive support and the situation worsens;
the child was in a difficult stressful situation for him (moving to a new place of residence, changing schools, death of relatives);
him constantly choosing the target of ridicule.

The child is shy - what to do in this situation is not always clear, because a lot depends on the age and specifics of the problem. In any case, if the child is embarrassed to answer in class, or if the problem arose at kindergarten age, there are many tricks that will allow parents to positively influence the situation. It is important to use these methods in parallel with each other and not give up looking for new ways:

Older children can be told about their own shyness, which took place in the life of their parents. If the child understands that he is not alone in his experiences, it will be easier for him to overcome his shyness.
When a child is shy in kindergarten, the chances of making him sociable are much higher. Be with him more often in public places: at exhibitions, at the circus, at children's matinees, so that he has as many opportunities for communication as possible. It is good if the baby gradually “acquires” his own friends with whom he will have common interests.
It is imperative to encourage a shy child for his activity., manifestation of initiative in communication, for the slightest positive shift.
In no situation should a shy child hear any ridicule from parents and household members about shyness, incorrect speech, ignorance of well-known facts.
To correct the situation, it is necessary to use role-playing games with the baby., where situations that scare him the most will be used.

Shy preschool children

When a shy child in kindergarten is embarrassed to recite a poem or dance at a matinee, adults (parents, educators) do their best to correct the situation. But instead, the baby becomes more and more isolated in itself. In the presence of strangers, the child feels even more vulnerable when he hears unpleasant epithets addressed to him. If you find the right approach (and the best way to do this is with the help of a child psychologist), then at the age of 5 years it is quite possible to at least partially overcome excessive modesty.

Shy kids at school

If a child is embarrassed to answer in class, the psychologist's advice includes proper preparation, which includes:

visiting a speech therapist and correcting speech;
for the development of thinking;
positive attitude towards the child in the family;
the right attitude to study;
visiting various hobby groups, maximum contact with peers.

A shy child - how to overcome the fear of communication

Child psychologists know how to teach a child not to be shy, but parents will follow their recommendations, since the baby trusts them the most. The most valuable and simple thing that relatives can give a child is communication. The more time is spent together, when the classes are of genuine interest to both parties, the greater the result can be expected. For the smallest, fairy tales and game situations will be an excellent help in the fight against shyness.

Games for shy preschoolers

There are a variety of games for shy children that will help the baby become more relaxed. You need to use them several times a day, constantly alternating and picking up new ones:

"Compliments", "The best", "Wishes". These games increase children's self-esteem by helping them expand their vocabulary and be able to listen to positive things addressed to them.
"Zoo". Such a game will help the kid transform from a weak bunny into a lion and be able to speak out and fight back against a stronger predator.
“Answer, don’t yawn!”, “Catch the ball.” Such sports are suitable for those who are lost when they pay attention to it.
"Living Toys", "Catch Me". These games are aimed at tactile emancipation.
"Geese and wolf". With the help of active outdoor games, children learn to relieve excess stress.

Fairy tales for shy children

When parents do not know how to wean a child to be shy, then. Worrying about your favorite characters and identifying with them in difficult situations similar to real ones, such activities are best suited for kids aged three to seven years. A wide variety of fairy tales that play with various situations can be found on the worldwide network or come up with your own. The main thing is that they have a simple narrative and a logical conclusion. Shy shy child

My son is terribly stuck. I am advised to give it to the sports section. Do you think this will help him relax?

Shy children (and apparently, we are talking about just such a child) are often very tight, tense, awkward. Their faces are inexpressive, their voices are dull, sometimes even choked. Many parents enroll shy sons and daughters in some kind of sports section, hoping that this will help them to liberate themselves. But, as a rule, such attempts end in failure. The nature of such children is completely non-competitive, and the situation of rivalry only injures them, and strict discipline, without which sports are impossible, further suppresses the already suppressed will of a shy child. The situation is no better with ballroom dancing, which many mothers rely on. Especially for boys! Indeed, today ballroom dancing, with all the desire, cannot be attributed to prestigious male occupations. This is not karate or taekwondo.

The shy little boy is already so worried that he is “like a girl” (fortunately, both adults and children will not fail to remind him of this once again!), And here he is also forced to do the “girl thing”. Of course, a child with a suppressed will often does not dare to grumble and dutifully goes to the dance class, so the parents may even get the impression that he goes there with pleasure. But I assure you, he does not dream about it in silence before going to bed.

It is better to go from simple to complex. First, take care of the emancipation of your baby yourself: try to ease the pressure, praise the child more and criticize the child less, start outdoor games more often, laugh with him, joke, fool around. Laughter is a great way to relieve stress.

Very useful pantomime. Remember the game familiar to all of us since childhood "Where we were, we will not say, but what we did - we will show." Another good exercise is guessing emotions. Only he needs to be properly motivated, since such children are usually ashamed of their faces and ashamed to make faces in public. And this exercise may seem to them antics. Therefore, you must take an active role and set an example for your child. Turn everything into an interesting game with very simple rules: the host shows some emotion with facial expressions, and the players name it and try to reproduce it. Whoever completes the task first gets a point.

Start with easy-to-guess emotions: surprise, fear, joy, anger, sadness. They must be shown exaggeratedly, even caricatured. Gradually expand the range of feelings, introduce different shades of emotions (say, irritation, indignation, anger, rage). Older children can be given the task not only to guess emotions, but also to impromptu play a small scene (either in puppets or "in a living plan") in which these emotions would be reflected.

My six year old daughter is very shy. How to help her make contacts with the guys?

First of all, we must try to understand why the child is shy. And in general, is it shyness? Or maybe the child is immersed in his own world and the society of other children, and he doesn’t really need it? (This is called autism, and there is a special discussion about it). Often shy children, avoiding adults, do well, although maybe not very quickly, find contact with other children. But there are boys and girls who, precisely when communicating with their peers, have a serious barrier. As a rule, behind this is the fear of ridicule. And often justified! Among children who prefer solitude, many stutter severely or have some kind of noticeable disability. But, of course, there are quite a few cases when children who seem to be quite safe in appearance shy away from their peers, preferring to mess with the kids or play alone. This does not mean at all that such "biryuks" do not really need friendship. How much more needed! It's just that some are too closed and do not share their experiences, while others do not dream about what seems unrealizable to them.

To convince: "Do not be shy! No one will laugh at you" in such cases is meaningless (especially since many children with severe stuttering react painfully even to an indirect mention of their deficiency). It's like forcing someone to take part in a concert when he won't play anything even with one finger on the piano. No, of course, encouragement is necessary, but you still need to teach a person at least something first, give him the necessary skills and abilities.

Shy children should never be forced to meet other children. Especially out loud. For them, this is an extra shame, another mental trauma. It is better that you get to know the guys yourself and involve them in the game, which your child will then somehow imperceptibly join. Or, on the contrary, start a game with him, but in such a way that other kids could participate in it if they wish. Joint occupation unites much faster. We know this for ourselves. Even adults find it easier to get along with a stranger when they are united not by words, but by deeds. What can we say about a child who, in general, still has a rather poor command of speech and often gets lost, unable to come up with a topic for conversation! It is useful to work out acquaintance techniques at home in scenes with puppets, and then (and only with the consent of the child!) Transfer it into reality.

Look closely at the potential friends of your son or daughter and tactfully take him away from those with whom friendship will look more like slavery, because shy children often become psychologically dependent on stronger and more powerful guys). Conversely, welcome calm children who can play together for a long time and prefer to talk peacefully, rather than find out who is "the best." Invite them home, even if the apartment conditions do not really allow you to receive guests. Think of it as a preventive measure.

After all, medicines - and shy children very often develop neuroses at school age that have to be treated - will cost you much more later.

Reprinting on the Internet is allowed only if there is an active link to the site "".
Reprinting of site materials in printed publications (books, press) is allowed only if the source and author of the publication are indicated.

Parents encounter this character trait of their children most often in situations when they go to visit with them or host guests. The kid at the sight of strangers becomes shy, clings to his mother, does not answer questions from adults. Shyness can be especially pronounced in kindergarten, where the child has to communicate with different teachers, answer in class, and perform at holidays. Sometimes such children are embarrassed to approach a group of peers, they do not dare to join their game. As a rule, shyness is most pronounced in those activities that are new to the baby. He feels insecure, embarrassed to show his ineptitude, afraid to admit it, to ask for help. In general, a shy child is friendly to other people, including strangers, wants to communicate with them, but at the same time experiences great internal stress. It manifests itself in nervous movements, a state of emotional discomfort, fear of turning to an adult, expressing one's desires. Sometimes such a baby does not respond to calls at all or answers in monosyllables, very quietly, down to a whisper. A characteristic feature of the communication of a shy child is its discontinuity, cyclicality: problems with communication can be overcome for a time when he feels free and liberated, and reappear in case of any difficulties. Observations show that shyness that arose in early childhood most often persists throughout the entire preschool age. But it manifests itself most clearly in the fifth year of life. At this age, children develop a need for adult respect. The child reacts sharply to remarks, is offended by a joke, irony in his address, during this period he especially needs praise and approval. So parents and educators need to behave especially carefully and delicately in relation to a shy child.

Inner peace and intellect

Vulnerable in a shy baby is the area of feelings. He is not prone to a vivid manifestation of emotions, and when the need arises for this, he becomes shy and withdraws into himself. The child simultaneously experiences both a desire to behave at ease and a fear of spontaneous manifestation of feelings. This even shows up in the game. A shy child is characterized by the desire to protect the space of his personality, his inner world from outside interference. He is embarrassed by situations in which attention is drawn to him when he has to tell something about himself. Such a kid seeks to withdraw into himself, to dissolve among others, to become invisible. It has long been noted that shyness is not related to the child's abilities, the level of his intellectual development. Shy children are just as good at different kinds of tasks as others, and yet they behave in a special way when doing them. The slightest censure of the educator can cause them a surge of timidity and embarrassment, inhibits activity, and sometimes leads to its termination. Such guys are more careful in their actions and statements, less persistent in achieving results than their peers. This behavior is due to the fact that shy children are constantly focused on evaluating their actions. They react sharply and affectively to remarks, and with age, from about the age of five, they develop a paradoxical attitude towards praise: the approval of an adult often causes an ambivalent feeling of joy and embarrassment. But not only the assessment of others confuses a shy child. He behaves in the same way when he himself expects failure in his activity, and in case of difficulties he timidly looks into the eyes of an adult, not daring to ask for help. Sometimes, overcoming internal tension, a shy kid smiles embarrassedly and quietly says: "It doesn't work out." Often these guys seem to be preparing themselves for failure in advance. Therefore, from them you can often hear the words: "I will not succeed." Confusion can also arise after successfully solving a problem. The child rejoices at his luck, but does not dare to say so. Thus, the main difficulties in communicating a shy child with other people lie in the sphere of his attitude towards himself and the attitude of other people towards him. It is traditionally believed that shy children have low self-esteem, that they think poorly of themselves. However, experiments have shown that this is not entirely true. As a rule, a shy child considers himself very good, that is, he has the most positive attitude towards himself as a person. The problem lies elsewhere. It often seems to him that others treat him worse than he treats himself. As shy children age, there is a tendency for a gap in how they evaluate themselves and others. They continue to rate themselves highly from their point of view, but lower and lower from the point of view of adults - parents and educators. At the same time, most often, the assessments of teachers are much lower than those of parents. This is largely due to their shy behavior in the classroom in kindergarten. Doubt about other people's positive attitude towards oneself brings disharmony into the child's sense of self, makes him tormented by doubts about the value of his "I". Everything that such a kid does is checked by him through the attitude of others. Excessive anxiety about his "I" often obscures the content of his activities. He focuses not so much on what he does, but on how adults will appreciate him. A shy child has a special structure of the need-motivational sphere: personal motives always act as the main ones, obscuring both cognitive and business ones.

How can you help your child deal with shyness?

Talk about your love

Perhaps the most important thing is to raise the baby's self-esteem in that part of it, which is associated with his perception of other people's attitude towards himself. Adults should analyze their attitude towards the child. Of course, mom and dad love him, but do they always express this feeling? How often do they tell him about their love? Maybe he lacks parental support? Often adults pay attention to their children only when they do something wrong, the achievements and good deeds of kids sometimes go unnoticed. And shy kids need support much more than their non-shy peers. And they appreciate this support more, because they know how to deeply feel a good attitude and calm down when it is manifested. Without the satisfaction of these needs, the child does not form the foundation of his development: trust in people, which allows him to actively and fearlessly enter the world around him. Adults must learn to be attentive to the baby, not only if he asks for help, but also when, at first glance, he does not need it. What is this support? These are the most different ways to approve what the baby is doing. The main thing is to demonstrate to him that his efforts and successes are noticed and appreciated positively. For example, if you see a child building a building with blocks, you can turn to him: "You are probably building a garage for a car? You are good at it." And noticing how the baby persistently tries to put on and fasten the boots, it does not hurt to praise him: "You tried so hard to put on the boots, and you did it. Wonderful!" The next task is to help the child increase self-esteem in specific activities - in the classroom and in their free time. A shy kid is afraid of a negative assessment, but this does not mean that he does not need an assessment at all. It is good if adults, doing something with him, or giving him some kind of task, say that they are confident in his success, but are ready to help if something does not work out. If the child is too focused on the assessment, and this slows down his actions, it is better for adults to try to distract him from the evaluative side of the activity. Here, playful tricks and humor will help, which should not be directed at the child, but at the situation as a whole. For example, if a child fails to assemble a pyramid or a figurine from the designer, you can make them "animate" and endow them with a harmful character that prevents the baby from coping with the task. It is good to talk with the baby on behalf of the character invented together, to play out a funny situation.

Break the rules a little

It should be remembered that shy children are often very cautious and afraid of everything new. They are more committed than their non-shy peers to following the rules, afraid to break them. So, in the experiments of psychologists, shy children would never agree to make a lipstick drawing on a piece of paper, while other kids did it cheerfully and boldly. In shy children, an internal prohibition is formed to a greater extent on acts and actions that are condemned by adults, and this can inhibit their initiative and creative manifestations. Therefore, the parents of these kids should think about whether they limit the freedom of the child, his immediacy and curiosity too often. Maybe sometimes you can break the rules? Flexible behavior will help the child get rid of the fear of punishment, excessive stiffness. In the end, instead of expensive and fashionable lipstick, you can give the little one an old and unnecessary one. And if you feel sorry for the wallpaper, their piece left over from the repair, or a regular sheet of paper, will also do. It can be spread out on the floor and paint a big picture together. By the way, if the kid draws not only with a pencil and a brush, but also with a finger, or even with the whole palm, this will only benefit him. Such exercises relieve emotional stress well.

Play together!

It is equally important to help the child learn to freely express their emotions, desires, feelings. Shy children often act shy, especially when others are staring at them. Specially organized games will help them to relieve internal tension and feel free. It is believed that hide and seek are entertainment in which only children participate, moreover, they supposedly excite the kids too much. This is not true. Outdoor games, and even together with adults, help children express their emotions and activate vital energy, establish more direct relationships with others. Games - competitions (skittles, ball, archery with suction cups, overcoming obstacles, wrestling and other fun), which are accompanied by loud exclamations and laughter, will also help a shy child feel more confident. When organizing such games, it is better to create a situation of success for the baby (so that he does not feel like a loser or lagging behind), and then praise him for his courage and dexterity, express the joy of playing together. Emotionally direct interaction softens the excessive fear of failure, censure and prohibitions. Emancipation of the emotional sphere, better mastery of the language of emotions is well facilitated by pantomime games, such as "Guess the emotion", "Where we were, we will not say, but what we did - we will show", "Phanta" and others. It is desirable that several adults and children participate in them. In such games, an emotionally positive atmosphere is created, internal psychological barriers are overcome, friendly, direct relationships are established between children and adults. Adults often try to explain to a shy child that there is no need to be afraid of people, they persuade him to speak to guests or at a holiday in kindergarten. Such a direct impact is ineffective. The kid shrinks all over, cannot utter a word, hides and begins to be even more afraid of public situations. A much more effective method of combating shyness is fantasy games, in which various characters are endowed with the features of the child himself, and situations are close to those that especially excite him, cause anxiety or fear. Such games help the child, as it were, to look at their difficulties from the outside, to understand that other children also have them, to gain experience in resolving them. Imagination games can take the form of a story about a girl or a boy who lives in the same circumstances, gets into different life situations and finds a way out of them. Often children are ashamed, and sometimes they simply do not know how to talk about their problems, and by listening to or writing a story about another child, attributing their experiences to him, they become more open to talking about themselves. Before playing with the baby in such invented stories, adults should learn a few rules:

Consider which situations are most difficult for the child. Tune in to the wave of his feelings, experiences, Look at the problem through the eyes of a child.
Think about the plot of the story. What thoughts would you like to convey to the child, what specific advice to give him?
Start a story about a fictional girl or boy by describing the details of their life that are similar to the life of a child (for example, the boy lives in the same house, he has the same brother or sister, the same dog or bird). The name of the fictional character does not have to directly match the name of the child, but may have some similarity in sound. Describe his experiences in a particular situation in as much detail as possible. For example, if a child is often shy about joining a peers' game, you could make up a story about a boy who was afraid that the children would think he was stupid, ugly, clumsy and would laugh. Because of this, the kid was afraid to look into the eyes of the guys, spoke very quietly, did not know how to ask them to take him into the game.
In the course of the story, contact the child for additions so that he becomes a participant in the problem and situation being discussed. Ask him questions about what else the hero thought, how he could be helped.
Then enter a character who will become the child's assistant in resolving the internal conflict. It can be mom, dad, older brother or sister, a kind wizard. Think of a dialogue between the baby and the helper, in which they will discuss different ways of behavior, and then apply them in life. Consider children's comments to the story. Involve your child in finding a solution. Try to make him an active participant and co-author of the story.
The invented story should have a positive result.
After you have discussed the behavior of the fictional character together, observe the behavior of the shy child in real situations in his life, check if he was influenced by the game. Try to make the story continue depending on the child's behavior.
Try to make the story lively, witty, introduce more dialogues of various characters into it, fill it with fabulous elements.

In addition to inventing stories, it is good to organize dramatization games with children. Their characters can be familiar heroes of fairy tales, animals. Playing alternately with adults the roles of a terrible wolf and a timid bunny, a cunning fox and a little mouse, a brave boy and a shy girl, the child will involuntarily find echoes of his own life in them, learn to deal with his fears and anxieties. Well, if the parents together with the child make masks for such games, with their help it will be easier for him to enter the role, to “hide”. An effective way to alleviate fear of public situations is to organize games with other children. For example, you can play "kindergarten" with several friends of the child, where children and an adult alternately play the roles of a teacher and children who need to speak to others, for example, recite a poem or make up a story from a picture. Shy children hesitate to start an answer for a long time, speak slowly, uncertainly and quietly. Gradually, time limits can be introduced into the game, exercises for loudness and expressiveness of speech can be included. Let's take an example of one of them.

"Quick Answers".

This game removes the inhibition that occurs when unexpected questions develop, develops resourcefulness, ingenuity. It can be played both at home and during a walk. The playing space is pre-divided into two parts by objects. In one of them there is an adult, in the other there are several children standing side by side. The host asks each kid in turn questions that are easy for them and waits for an answer, counting aloud: 1-2-3 (you can ask the child what his name is, how old he is, who is his friend, what color is the crocodile). Children can answer questions as they like - both seriously and playfully. You can ask such questions: "Why are frogs jumping?", "Why is ice cream cold?", "Why is the crocodile green?". With any appropriate answer, the child takes a step forward. Thus, the respondent is ahead of other children. The facilitator must quietly guide the game in such a way as to prevent the kids from being too ahead or behind. Special attention should be paid to the shy child, helping him to move in line with others. It is necessary to create such conditions that he will definitely win at least once. Success among peers and adults inspires, makes you believe in yourself and become more confident. When all the children are successful, the adult invites each of them to act as a leader.

Another variant of the game is "Ball in a circle".

The participants of the game - adults and children - stand in a circle and throw the ball to each other. Condition: before throwing the ball, the one who holds it in his hands must look into the eyes of the person to whom he is going to throw it, and say any word that comes to mind, for example, "hold", "catch", "on" , "bunny". For older children, you can complicate the game by asking them to name only colors or items of clothing, furniture, dishes. This game also takes the pressure off of having to find the answer quickly. Perhaps a shy baby causes more sympathy in surrounding adults than an excessively lively and playful one. But parents need to think about the future of their child. After all, if shyness in early childhood prevents him from normal communication and development, what service will this trait serve in adulthood? Of course, with the desire and certain volitional efforts, a person can cope with his shyness himself. But it will be much more difficult to do this than in childhood, when the baby has the right to count on the help and support of parents.