Menu
homeBirthday

She went crazy after having her second child. How not to go crazy after childbirth - advice to young mothers. Risk Factors for Anxiety

A woman can pull herself out of a state of depression © Photo from the personal archive of Larisa Surkova

In St. Petersburg, a 35-year-old mother tried to commit suicide and kill her 3-month-old daughter. The woman died, the child was saved, he is in intensive care. Investigators said that, according to preliminary data, the mother suffered from postpartum depression. This condition is quite common and treatable. The main thing is to identify it in time and take action. About how to do this, what factors affect the development of the disease and how social networks are connected with postpartum depression, Rosbalt was told by a family and child psychologist, a mother of many children Larisa Surkova.

- The suicide of a woman with a child is not the first case in St. Petersburg. A similar situation occurred in the northern capital in April - a woman killed herself and her daughter. Then law enforcement officers also talked about postpartum depression. What is this phenomenon and how is it expressed?

— This phenomenon has long been described at the intersection of several sciences related to medicine and psychology. The main symptoms are tearfulness, insomnia, depression, loss of appetite, anxiety accompanied by palpitations, headache, panic, obsessive actions.

— And what leads to the development of this condition?

- There are several reasons. First of all, a woman's hormonal levels change, and stress during childbirth leaves its mark. But the biggest problem is that women are not ready for what awaits them after childbirth. The idea of ​​life with a child is quite illusory. In the minds of many - advertising pictures with rosy-cheeked babies who eat, sleep, play, with which you can make beautiful photo shoots. And when a woman understands that a child is a living organism, that he can refuse to eat, be capricious, not sleep, get sick, that there may be difficulties with breastfeeding, problems begin. In addition, mothers constantly compare themselves and their family with others through social networks and think that everything is fine with everyone, everyone is successful and happy, except for them.

Plus, the family and close people are not always ready to support the mother. A husband can be very busy earning money, and young fathers are often not ready for a baby at all. They do not want to leave the pedestal and put the family in the first place.

Thus, a whole range of problems leads to postpartum depression - a woman undergoes hormonal changes, she is alone, without help, crushed by a bad mother complex, did not get enough sleep, sits within four walls, she has no one to talk to. As a result, she feels like it will never end. She may fall into a state of passion.

It is well known that prevention is always easier than cure. How to prevent the development of postpartum depression?

“We need to prepare women for conscious motherhood. Not only to childbirth, but also to parenthood. Then there will be no expectations that will be broken by everyday problems.

And, of course, it is necessary to create a favorable environment in the family, to help mother in every possible way. The woman needs a break. If at least once a week her husband lets her sleep, she will feel differently. We are talking about the fact that she should sleep at least 2-3 hours without waking up. And if her husband gives her the opportunity to take a walk, meet friends, go for a manicure, this feeling will be completely different.

- I understand that the age of a woman also greatly affects the situation?

- Yes, that's right. Young women are prone to this condition because they are not ready for family life. And at the age of 35, life has already settled down, but the child suddenly changes it. You are not ready for this either, you live at a different pace, you have career goals. You make plans, dreams appear, and suddenly everything collapses. This detachment from reality causes great harm.

“After childbirth, women want to get back in shape and lose weight. Unsuccessful attempts to return a thin waist can lead to a worsening of the condition?

- Yes, there is such a stereotype that a young mother should be slim and beautiful at the time of discharge from the hospital. Women try to lose weight, eat poorly or refuse to eat at all. At the same time, not realizing that it will not work to instantly lose weight and return a model appearance. Poor nutrition also exacerbates postpartum depression.

Therefore, I urge moms to eat right. And dads - give women sometimes a normal sleep.

- Is there a period during which postpartum depression persists?

- Unfortunately, up to two years we can make such a diagnosis. Many women, due to the rush of endorphins, do not feel fatigue for the first six months. Then comes postpartum depression (by the way, scientists now use the term “emotional burnout” more often, it is more correct). The fourth stage is characterized by thoughts of hopelessness, suicide, that only death is the way out of the situation. But there are three more stages when a woman can pull herself out of the swamp. Start walking, sleep more, communicate ... Here mothers say that they have no one to communicate with. I usually say to this - do you live in a deep forest? Go outside, start a conversation with other people. You can go in for sports, listen to music, keep a diary so that you don’t twist your thoughts like chewing gum - this “turns on” the left hemisphere and extinguishes depression.

The main thing is that a woman should not be alone. Single mothers are at risk. Such women need additional monitoring from the moment of pregnancy. - In the case of the treatment of postpartum depression, the help of a psychologist, psychotherapist is required?

- Desirable. It's great to have that opportunity. But, unfortunately, psychologists in our country are not very accessible. In an acute situation, when it seems that the whole world is not nice, and you don’t want to live, you can always get free help through the “hot line”. They are in different cities. If at least in this format you turn to a psychologist, this is already good. But therapy will help to avoid more serious problems in the future. It is no secret that in the first years after the birth of a child there is a huge number of divorces.

Interviewed by Antonida Pashinina

Postpartum depression often occurs after the birth of a baby. The birth of a child is a bright emotional outburst, but the positive can quickly take on a complex coloration. Due to the processes occurring in the body of the woman in labor, as well as the family environment, in 10-15% of cases, postpartum depression occurs. This is a serious and dangerous condition, accompanied by growing despondency, which can radically change a woman's life in a negative direction. Therefore, it is extremely important to recognize the pathological process as soon as possible and take comprehensive measures to overcome the crisis.

Risk Factors for Anxiety

Postpartum depression is a complex psychopathological condition, which is characterized by a general negative mood of a woman, a sharp emotional lability and a decrease in attraction to a man and a child. Despite the study of the problem, the exact causes leading to the disease have not been established. The most well-known theory of monoamines, according to which the number of mediators of positive emotions serotonin and melatonin decreases in the body of a woman in labor. However, all the processes occurring in the nervous system, the theory is not able to explain. However, the factors provoking postnatal disorder are quite clearly defined.

These should include:

  • violence in family;
  • excessive influence of relatives on a woman;
  • initial organic damage to the nervous system;
  • genetic determination - the presence of any psychopathological diseases in close relatives;
  • late formation of ovulation after childbirth;
  • negative attitude from a man;
  • inability to cope with increased obligations;
  • low self-esteem.

More than 60% of all cases of postnatal mood depression are associated with previous depressive episodes during a lifetime. In the early years, it could be suicide attempts due to unhappy love or oppressive feelings due to poor school performance. Depression during pregnancy, especially after the 30-week period, often provokes the development of such episodes after childbirth.

Clinical manifestations of the disease state

According to the WHO, symptoms of postpartum depression occur within 7 weeks after the baby is born. If the manifestations of the disease occur later, then such a disorder does not apply to postnatal. Classic signs of postpartum depression include:

  • a sharp change in mood with a tendency to reduce the emotional background;
  • tearfulness;
  • reduced performance;
  • apathy towards the child and the man;
  • loss of appetite or even a complete aversion to food;
  • pathological taste in the mouth;
  • somatic complaints of constant discomfort in any part of the body, often headaches or dyspepsia;
  • depressed facial expressions.

In some women, the appetite is not only preserved, but also sharply increased. Eating becomes more frequent and food cravings are bulimic. This is a kind of substitution form - getting the missing pleasures from food.

This form of depression is the most favorable, since the deficiency of monoamines is relatively quickly compensated. But in the future, the formation of a common nervous breakdown due to dissatisfaction with one's own appearance is possible.

Initial signs of the disease

It is always important to know how a problem manifests itself at the very beginning of its development. The first sign of a painful condition is by no means sudden mood swings. Often a subtle symptom is a harbinger of a complex disorder. Postnatal depression is characterized by glycogeusia. It's a sweet, sugary taste in the mouth. It can occur already in the first days after the birth of the child. The probability of developing full-fledged postpartum depression in this case is more than 90%.

Another subtle symptom leading to a pathological nervous breakdown is a spotting discharge from the vagina. Ordinary lochia is typical for women in labor, but a small daily loss of blood negatively affects the emotional sphere. Coupled with family troubles associated with an understandable reluctance to intimacy, there is a feeling of hopelessness and uselessness, and future prospects seem vague. Only family support and iron deficiency medication will help protect against depression.

Features of the course of the disease state

How long postnatal depression lasts is hard to say. With rational help, the disease can be avoided, and the duration of the reduced mood background will be minimal. Officially, the diagnosis is considered established if the signs of an anxiety disorder persist for more than seven days. The following factors influence the duration of depression:

  • family relationships;
  • early psychocorrection;
  • health of women and children;
  • the presence of crazy ideas;
  • the severity of the existing organic lesion of the nervous system;
  • lactation.

With insufficient family support, lack of sexual intercourse, poor health of the baby, the level of “happy” hormones drops sharply. This provokes a long duration of depression and even the transition to a chronic form. An equally negative role is played by the existing organic pathology of the brain and the associated delirium. In these cases, even suicide attempts are possible, which are usually not characteristic of postpartum depressive episodes.

Non-drug methods of dealing with the problem

You need to deal with depression. The question of how to get rid of the disease on your own is always acute in any family, since it is initially difficult to make a decision to contact a specialist. The main condition is to improve the quality of life and improve the family microclimate. The following will help in getting rid of depression:

  • warm conversations with her husband;
  • informal communication with relatives and friends - meetings, joint walks, even collective viewing of TV shows;
  • regular sexual intimacy, bringing pleasure to both partners; folk methods - soothing herbs, contrast showers;
  • extension of natural lactation.

The most important role in how to get out of postpartum depression is communication with loved ones. This is a kind of psychological training that helps to escape from the difficult postnatal life. If the mood continues to decline, the further prospect of non-drug treatment is associated exclusively with a specialist. It is necessary to contact a psychotherapist for individual or group sessions.

Medical methods of correction

It is absolutely unacceptable to experience a problem on your own with the ineffectiveness of home treatment. Depression and despondency will only progress, which will lead to dire consequences. With ongoing depression, medication is required, which is prescribed exclusively by a doctor. The basis of therapeutic correction is antidepressants and tranquilizers.

In parallel, vitamins, sleeping pills and drugs that stimulate the brain are prescribed. Usually the treatment process takes place at home, but in severe cases, especially with a suicide attempt or delusional disorders, hospitalization is indicated. Of course, natural feeding in such cases will have to be excluded.

Forecast and conclusion

In the presence of warm relations in the family, depression usually does not develop. But with the appearance of depression and a decrease in mood, the help of loved ones and alternative methods of treatment help to solve the problem. The prognosis in such a situation is extremely favorable: depression ends after a short time.

If the disease drags on, and the man does not take part in solving the problem, then fear, anxiety and general despondency increase. In this case, psychocorrection in the form of group or individual sessions will help.

If home methods are ineffective, you should consult a doctor. Even severe disorders with the presence of delirium and suicide attempts are fully compensated by medications. Therefore, later life can easily improve, and the prognosis will again be favorable. It will be doubtful only if there is a pronounced neurological deficit against the background of organic brain damage preceding pregnancy.

If you started reading my review, then most likely you are either waiting for your miracle, or you are already enjoying the role of a mother and just want to compare your feelings with others. One way or another, my story is not out of the ordinary, but I will try to tell it as truthfully as possible And I hope that my experience will help someone in the future.

Pregnancy

I got pregnant in August 2017. At that time, my husband and I were not scheduled and were in a relationship for only 10 months. There was no question of giving birth or not at all. We were sincerely happy with two stripes. made itself felt. A month before I took the test, I had a small operation to remove the polyp of the cervical canal. After being discharged from the hospital, it was impossible to live sexually for about 3 weeks, but as you understand, my husband and I could not stand it ))) The gynecologist, when registering, scolded me a little. Since the uterus had just experienced curettage, and then immediately pregnancy, it scared miscarriage. I have never been in the hospital.

At the time of the beginning of pregnancy, I did not work, I only sometimes went to work as a cook in a restaurant. A large number of banquets fell just at the time of toxicosis from 8-13 weeks. It was hell. I was sick of all the smells. connected with cooking and I, purely physically, sometimes could not overcome myself, since my colleagues entered into my position and often gave me time to rest and go out for a breath of fresh air).

At 20 weeks, we were supposed to have a boy on ultrasound, although no, I would even say, they confidently announced a son) Honestly, we wanted a girl, but now looking at a peacefully sleeping son, I can’t even imagine how I would live without him now.

I have had heart problems since childhood. I don’t like going to doctors and try to appear in hospitals as little as possible. But throughout my pregnancy, cardiologists shook me terribly. Until the last, there was a question about the method of delivery. then make a decision. At a period of 38 weeks, I was given a referral for planned hospitalization in the pathology department. I didn’t want to go to bed scared and after waiting another week, I went to give up) After the control ultrasound of the heart, I was allowed to give birth myself.

Honestly, I was afraid of childbirth. And no matter what kind. end. I read various philosophical crap) Now I understand that all this is not important. God himself will judge the best. Caesarean does not mean easy, it's how lucky.

BIRTH

It was the 11th day of my stay in pathology, and my son was in no hurry to go into the world. The cervix is ​​ripe, but labor activity has not yet begun. The doctor said that this was due to the fact that I was not psychologically ready. My fear of childbirth, pain, blocked all processes in the body. I was given a sedative at night. Zero sense. And for a period of 41 weeks, with a light suggestion by the head of the department (or rather, with her manual opening of the cervix, after which my eyes were rolling out, like a Pikinese, from pain), the process began. Starting from 2 pm to 9 pm on April 19, I walked around the department , howling like a shot dog. The doctor on duty came, examined me and said to raise me to the birth, after the cleansing procedures. By the way, I arrived at the maternity hospital prepared, in terms of depilation, but because my stay there was 11 days before the birth and on the fifth day, at the very moment when my “cellmate” and I were washing in the shower and decided to depict snowmen by lathering with foam from head to toe, what do you think? - Naturally, according to the law, the genre was turned off hot water . About how we ran about the department in the same towels and foam, to the friendly laughter of women in labor and nurses in search of warm water, deserves a separate story.

At 21.30 they pierced my bladder, put me under CTG and told me to wait for contractions. By the way, they didn’t take long to wait. My husband was supposed to be present at the birth. We agreed on this in advance, but at the last moment they didn’t want to let him in due to quarantine. After much persuasion the fortress in the form of a doctor giving birth to me gave up and my husband in full uniform came up to me.

The contractions went with a minimum interval. Either my pain threshold is low, or just out of fear, but I screamed, God forbid. When the doctor suggested epidural anesthesia, I was ready to kiss her. But unfortunately, after talking with the anesthetist, I was denied because in the past there were injuries of the vertebrae. They offered me the maximum but a shpu. I didn’t think that I could take it. In between contractions, I passed out, the doctor thrust, as it seemed to me, her elbow into me and kneaded the dough into pies. Several times I they squatted down and forced to push. I vaguely remember everything that happened, but I remember exactly how the doctors gave birth to my hemorrhoids, which got out after 7 months of pregnancy. My husband was there all this time, not knowing how to help me. they said that at the very moment of birth he would stand outside the door, but it wasn’t there ...... When the disclosure was complete and the baby’s head went, I was transplanted into a chair. I didn’t have the strength to get up myself, fix my legs and breathe properly .I screamed stupidly. I couldn’t do something with myself. My body simply didn’t obey me. I read a lot about breathing techniques, but I couldn’t overpower myself. they screamed at me to shut up, that I was disturbing them, that I was frightening other women in labor with my cries. I was afraid of ruptures and episiotomies throughout my pregnancy, but at that moment I begged me to be cut. The head turned out to be large and stuck in the passage. I myself could not pull it out. Doctor called the poor husband from the corridor, hoping that in his presence I would not yell, but gather my strength. A dead number) As a result, they made an incision on me and the doctor and the midwife put pressure on my stomach together. A minute later, our son was born. At 2 hours 45 minutes .

They put him on my stomach, but I couldn’t even raise my head to look at him. The last thing I remember is the crazy face of my husband after the midwife told him to twist my nipples) After everything he saw, he could not understand what they wanted from him and thought I woke up on a chair, from the wild cold. Somewhere nearby my son was screaming. I couldn’t understand what was happening, where is the husband? where are the doctors? for vaccinations. I still wonder why this can’t be done earlier, before the birth? The midwife came, said that everything was fine, the son was healthy (3660 gr., 53 cm. 7/8 Apgar points), the husband was given to hold him for 5 minutes and kicked out home. While I was unconscious, they pulled out the placenta, put 5 external sutures.

Before giving birth, I read a lot about episiotomy. I was terribly afraid. It was certainly unpleasant, but three months after giving birth, the seam stopped bothering me. When the incision was made, I didn’t even feel it.

After childbirth

As it turned out later, it was not so much childbirth that was to be feared, but the postpartum period. For me, it turned out to be more difficult.

They brought me to the ward at 5.30. I myself asked the doctors not to bring my son in yet, but let me sleep for a couple of hours. Now, of course, I regret this, because. during this time, they managed to feed him with a mixture, but I categorically did not want this, the plans were to breastfeed. But here, of course, the doctors are not to blame. It's better to mix than the child was starving this time.

I had a double ward and a girl was lying with me who gave birth an hour later than me. Even at the first meeting, she asked if I was the madam who was yelling at the whole district) The conditions were, let’s say, not very good. to wash the child, we had to bring water in a glass from the dining room and collect the right amount. It was painful to walk. It was impossible to sit for 1.5 months. We had a joint stay in the ward with the baby and sometimes we didn’t even have time to feel sorry for our beloved) When the baby cries, you jump out of bed forgetting about the pain.

We were discharged on the 4th day. The first month at home was trashy. Problems with going to the toilet due to huge hemorrhoids brought terrible discomfort. Sometimes I thought it would be easier to give birth again. I smeared Levomekol with ointment. Pah-pah, everything worked out. Problems with breastfeeding and a long way to normal lactation. The fight against postpartum depression, which covered me unexpectedly. next time, and I hope that it will be, I will prepare in advance.

A few tips:

1. During pregnancy, read more information and tips about the first days of a baby’s life. About breastfeeding (if you plan), about how to properly hold, wash. I would devote a little or to myself in the end. And I would spend less nerves by collecting all the necessary information about GW in advance.

2. Do not be afraid to give birth with your husband. Many people scare you with tales that men can not bear this sight psychologically and then problems with sexual life are possible. If you have a trusting relationship with your husband, go together. at least in the birth you will not be alone (Because as a rule you endure contractions alone and doctors come in occasionally), he can give water, massage your lower back during contractions (it becomes a little easier), anoint your lips with hygienic lipstick (I have very strong dry lips).

To be honest, partner childbirth affected my husband only in a positive way. To some extent, I’m glad that he saw how women get babies for us. There was a lot of care and support on his part later. works like a clock)

3. If before or during pregnancy you were “lucky” to get acquainted with such a muck as hemorrhoids, then treat it in advance. I missed this moment. It’s very, very sorry. before your eyes. Be sure to tell your gynecologist about the problem. Go to the proctologist. Get a course of treatment. For prevention, use sea buckthorn suppositories (it helps me a lot). This is very important. Do not repeat my mistakes.

4. Do not be afraid to give birth. YES IT HURTS. INCREDIBLY HURTS. But now, looking at my son, I am ready to endure this more than once. Believe those emotions, those feelings that motherhood will give you are worth it. Do not think about the bad. for good. When you start giving birth, just think that everything will eventually end in a few hours, but then you will enjoy motherhood all your life)

5. Stock up on cosmetics, your favorite creams, beautiful home clothes, download your favorite films in advance. The first months you will be at home and not in your best shape. a free minute you don’t have to run headlong to cook borscht, wash diapers, wash dishes. It’s better to drink tea and cake, take a shower, put a good cream on your face, watch a comedy and sleep stupidly. The child needs you first of all. Fresh and rested. it doesn’t matter what diaper to lie on. He doesn’t care if it’s clean around. The main thing is that mom is calm and happy nearby. Also, when your husband comes home from work, he will first of all notice your bruises under his eyes and your nervousness, and not a mountain of dishes.

A girl-child is such a happiness that all obstacles can be overcome on the way to it. I am for natural childbirth, although not so. I am for any childbirth. The main thing is that every woman on this earth experiences this incomparable joy when she first hears a word from her child MOTHER!!!

In order for life with a baby not to turn into a round-the-clock cycle of household chores and duties, it is not at all necessary to be a “supermother” and “superhostess”. All kinds of superheroes are found only in Hollywood films. And you and I are ordinary people who tend to get tired, do not have time for something, and even sometimes reproach themselves for imaginary insolvency. And you just need to take life a little easier, not create non-existent problems for yourself from scratch, not get upset over trifles, try not to deny yourself rest and small pleasures.

Right now it is very important to correctly prioritize. No need to try. It is better to have time for the main thing.

And the main thing now is not the impeccable order in the apartment, not the refrigerator filled with culinary masterpieces, but the little man and yourself. Cleaning will wait, laundry, ironing will not go anywhere, unwashed windows will be tolerated. But your health, well-being and mood - no!

Therefore, it is very important to learn how to find time for your own needs and requirements. In order not to lose myself in the new role of mother. So that the day does not consist only of cases and troubles. To feel the fullness of life and enjoy your new role. A rested, in a good mood mom is the best thing a baby can have. Where can you find this much-needed time for yourself? Let's search together!

We combine household chores with small pleasures for ourselves

Well, while we do not have enough time to use it undividedly, we will look for an opportunity to find minutes for ourselves among a series of everyday worries.

Take, for example, breastfeeding a baby. In the first weeks, this process takes enough. And the most important thing that you can do while feeding is to rest. If you find a comfortable position for yourself in the supine position, the minutes of feeding will be one of the most enjoyable for you during the day. Try to relax as much as possible so that every cell of your body rests. You can even take a nap. It would be nice to learn some simple meditation technique. Something like “I am completely relaxed, my legs feel warm…” And no need to laugh! There are many simple exercises that allow you to restore strength in a very short period of time. Now it won't bother you at all!

If feeding lying down is inconvenient for you, pick up a comfortable chair, a small stool under your foot, perhaps a pillow under your lower back. In a word, create conditions for yourself so that you can sit comfortably and relaxed.

While feeding the baby, you can talk with a friend on the phone, listen to your favorite music and even watch TV (but not news and other “aggressive” programs). At the same time, in order not to disturb the baby, make the sound quiet or put on headphones.

There is another good idea: get a foot massage bath! Then, simultaneously with feeding the baby, it will be possible to massage the legs. This pleasant procedure relieves tired feet, as well as relaxes and soothes in general.

While you are in the bathroom, bathing the baby, you can apply a cosmetic mask to your face. Or do some exercises that prevent the formation of wrinkles and a second chin. Are you giving your baby a massage? Before doing this, generously apply a moisturizer to your hands. Massaging the back, arms and knives of the crumbs, you will simultaneously massage your own hands, rubbing the cream into them.

Looking after the baby, you can do a manicure and pedicure in parallel, or perform several gymnastic exercises. Do not think that 5-10 minutes of gymnastics will not bring results. If you choose 3-4 of the most effective exercises and do them every day (or maybe a couple of times a day), the result will not be long in coming! The main thing is regularity. This is a great way out for those mothers who do not yet have enough time for more serious sports. But there are still exercises that you can do with your baby! For example, when you are carrying a baby in your arms, periodically do squats. Not necessarily a lot, at least a few times. Or turn the body left and right. It's good for the waist. Do you like this game: you lie on your back with your legs bent at the knees, and the baby is half-sitting comfortably on your stomach? Tighten your abdominal muscles and begin to lift your pelvis up, tearing your buttocks off the floor (it is better to perform the exercise on the floor, not on the bed). It turns out two in one: fun fun for the baby and a useful exercise for mom.

Housework can wait...

“The child is sleeping, and ... mom is free! Do you want to wash, do you want to clean, do you want to steam at the stove! Rest… I don’t want to!” A similar phrase can often be found in the Internet statuses of young mothers. And yet, we need to try during the baby’s sleep to devote time not to washing, ironing, cleaning and cooking, but to our beloved. Household chores will not run away, and you have one health. Of course, if you have some very important and urgent business, you can do it. But don't turn it into a system.

Try to relax with your baby. Especially if you have constant lack of sleep and accumulated fatigue. If you want to go to sleep, go to bed. Do not sleep - just relax, doing something pleasant. Watch a movie, read a book, do needlework, sit at the computer, take a bath with fragrant oils, just calmly drink tea.

If you have enough vigor and energy, take some time to do gymnastics. This will definitely never go out of style! While the baby is sleeping, nothing will interfere with sports. Now there are many sets of exercises in a variety of techniques in video tutorials. Choose what you like: yoga, Pilates, callanetics, fitness or something else. Or maybe you will try to master some kind of dance style with the help of video lessons? Dancing is not only a good physical activity, but also a great way to cheer up!

If you have two hours of free time, don't forget to take care of yourself. During this time, you can have time to visit a hairdresser or get a manicure. But there are still a lot of other procedures: cosmetic wraps, massages, masks.

Walking is almost fitness

Sometimes young mothers perceive absenteeism with a baby as a boring “obligation”. And they even put the child to sleep on the balcony in order to have time to do something useful at home during his “walk” ... Of course, from time to time you can do this. But getting out into the fresh air is a must! After all, you yourself need walks no less than the baby.

Like it or not, a walk is a change of scenery. On the street you will get much more different experiences than at home. It's important to you right now!

It is absolutely not necessary to spend all the time in the yard near the house. Make a new route for yourself every time and walk more. Just imagine the health benefits of walking at an average pace for an hour and a half daily!

These 6-7 km walks are a great alternative to a fitness club! Especially if you can't exercise regularly. So you will quickly and without hassle achieve excellent physical shape and well-being. If you like to listen to music, add an extra pleasure to walking in the form of headphones ...

If you are not in the mood for walking or you feel tired, find a bench in a shady place and read an interesting book while the baby is sleeping. By the way, you can read not only fiction, but also special. In order not to lose qualifications. Or just for general development. It will never be redundant. You can also listen to an audiobook or study a foreign language. Even if you do not achieve serious success in this matter, trying to learn a new language is a great opportunity to train your brain. And when in the future you will go on a trip abroad with a grown-up baby, the acquired knowledge will be very useful to you!

Do not forget about the possibility of live communication while walking with other young mothers. When women are on maternity leave, perhaps the thing that is missing the most is communication! You now have many common interests and topics for conversation: you can discuss the problems of care and upbringing, remember funny situations, support each other and dispel fears. As you get to know other moms, you might be able to arrange walks together, turning them into an enjoyable pastime.

Who will come to the rescue?

Almost all of us have helpers. First of all, this is a husband. And also grandparents, sisters and brothers, friends who have not yet acquired their own children, but who want to tinker with the baby, godparents, etc. Don't hesitate to ask for their help! And even specially involve in assistants.

The desire to “pull” on oneself both caring for the baby, and household chores, and often also a side job, of course, is worthy of respect, but it has a bad effect on our health, well-being and mood. Therefore, it would be quite reasonable to think a little more about yourself and shift some of the work to family members and other close people. There is nothing embarrassing or uncomfortable about this. A good person is always pleased with the opportunity to do something for another, to provide all possible assistance.

How can loved ones help? For example, a grandmother can fry cutlets from time to time or cook other homemade food for your family too. The younger sister can be sent for a walk with a stroller. Even if they do this a couple of times a week, you will free up a lot of precious time for yourself. You can just relax, do cosmetic procedures or sports.

Dad can also be entrusted with certain household chores. Of course, he works all day and gets tired too. But after all, washing the dishes accumulated during the day in the evening is not too difficult a job, right? This is a small, but still tangible help!

In addition, you can agree that in the evening dad releases mom from the baby, say, for an hour. Let him tinker with him, play, and you can use this guaranteed time at your discretion. You deserve it!

Keep up with the times

It is very important to pay attention not only to your appearance and health, but also to “grow”, develop, improve. Perhaps, before maternity leave, you have already managed to become a good specialist in your field. Temporary retirement can affect the loss of qualifications: what is not repeated is forgotten, and the world does not stand still, inventing something new every day. Therefore, we will try to maintain our professionalism even during parental leave. Read special books and magazines, communicate on professional Internet forums, follow the news in your industry. Maybe, if possible, you will work from home at least a few hours a week. Not so much for the sake of money, but for the sake of keeping the head in "full combat readiness."

Life after childbirth: new hobbies

And right now you have a great opportunity to learn something new.

For example, learn how to take good photos, master Photoshop, figure out how to shoot and edit your own home movies with music and titles, try writing stories and poems about your baby, start a blog.

Or maybe you create your own website? Learning how to do this is not that difficult, especially now that there are very easy-to-use website builders.

All this you do first of all for yourself. But you can be sure that your loved ones will be proud of you. Because you are the best mother, a wonderful wife and an attractive, educated, intelligent woman. And how could it be otherwise?

If you can’t escape to a hairdresser or beauty salon, you can invite a specialist to your home.

It will be convenient to do cosmetic procedures just when the baby is sleeping. But in this case, it is better if someone else is at home for safety: suddenly the baby wakes up, and your haircut or pedicure is not yet finished.

The publication

Even the most loving and selfless mother, which you probably are, needs to spend time apart from the baby from time to time. Let it be just a little, let it be just a couple of hours a week. But even such a small "rest" can work wonders!

  • If someone from the older generation agrees to nurse the baby from time to time in the interval between feedings, you will have the opportunity to "go out" together with your husband. You can sit in a cafe or just walk around the city, go to an exhibition or devote time to shopping. Any change of scenery will do you good!
  • Or you can leave the baby for a couple of hours with your husband and arrange a small holiday for yourself. Meet a friend, chat, eat a cake in your favorite cafe. Surely, you have such the most “delicious” place, a visit to which is sure to set you in a relaxed mood.

Well, part two, actually.

they transferred me to the observation, there we have two wings, in one there are girls who have problems with children, in the other gypsies and all sorts of rabble. we lay - in a chic "room" triple, bath-toilet. long corridor and doors to the wards. no chair or anything. I was lying with a girl from intensive care, also a cop, she was tortured for 12 hours in childbirth, a narrow pelvis, the child was without water. eventually cut. the second - she gave birth to herself, the second girl, 37 weeks, it seems, and I, my baby was in intensive care. The cesarean (Dasha) and I could hardly move, Masha, who herself gave birth in the evening, was galloping like a goat. Oh girls… it was such a hell in the maternity hospital… I was allowed to go to the child once a day for an hour, and stand near the incubator. before that, I carefully washed everything available, hands, nails, a cap on my head. the doctors were on duty there every other day, in charge of childhood (she saved me simply with her encouraging speeches!!! she spoke objectively and to the point) and a boy, Evgeny Yuryevich. he proved to us that our children are underdeveloped, all sick and their condition is stably serious. I got used to it, and let it pass by my ears. one mother reacted to him with a swoon. The kids were kept in intensive care for 7-8 days, a turning point, if they survive, they will live. very scary expectation. I was getting ready to go to the emergency room in the morning. and then pray all evening

all 7 days of lying there, I cleared my chest every three hours, including at night. As a result, the baby did not take the breast and I fed the expressed breast for six months.

almost every hour of lying there in the corridor there was a roar - a cart was driving. there were three of them - with food, with injections (hellish cart) and with kids - for feeding. then we even compared it with the girls with a reality show - a psychiatric hospital. you lie and rumble and like pavlov's dogs - you think what it is going. and still fear and suddenly injections. cesarean did 5 pieces in the ass and one in the stomach. the suture was never processed during the hospital stay.

this hell lasted for a week. and the uncertainty of what will happen to my child. we could have been put together in the department - there are very few places there, or it is more likely that he will be sent alone to nurse, and me home. my mother raised all the ties so that they would put us together, oh girls, how do nurses treat babies ... I will write about this tomorrow, how we were in the police station. the unknown killed. the walls were crushing. I cried every evening. Dasha's neighbor had jaundice, and they wanted to transfer her to another hospital for a week. Dasha threw tantrums that she did not want to lie down, that she would take her daughter on receipt, she was so unhappy and why did she have a sick child. girls, I could not stand it - I scolded her so that she then was silent for a day. with mom. she said a lot, how to stop her whining that mine is in intensive care and that she should thank God that she is doing well. In general, I told her a lot. (as I later found out, she still took the child on receipt, she didn’t hear anything else about her)

By the end of the week, the wards were urgently needed and we were allowed to go home. it was scary for me to leave my baby there. They told me to remove the stitches and come back the next day. and HAPPINESS!!! we are with the baby together on Monday they put together for nursing! I was very happy. girls how I took care of myself! until she fed, she ate throat lozenges so that, God forbid, she would not get sick. such were immediately exhibited and the children were under the supervision of nurses.

with what a roar I left home ... through the lobby where women in labor were met. I was so hysterical… my husband and sister calmed me down, saying that in two months they would arrange a grand discharge for us.

The next day I came to remove the stitches. By the way, I myself re-pasted the bandage, and in principle it was already quite divergent, although everything still hurt terribly. I was taken to the examination room, the threads were torn off and they began to EXTRACT the seam. liquid accumulated there and they began to give it. THIS WAS AN INEXPRESSIBLE F…C!!! my wound was sealed, and I went crooked to my son in intensive care. stroked him, said that the day after tomorrow I would return and we would be together completely. how he cried, apparently felt, the girls took me out, like don’t ruffle his nerves. and with a heavy heart I went home.

Probably chaotically written, but as it is. I'll write about opn tomorrow. I write not so much for someone and pity, more for myself, for memory.