Three models of family education. Types of family education of the child. Types of families, family relations and family education. Negative features of the relationship of parents to children

Domestic and foreign researchers are unanimous in that family ties are the basic components of general well-being, satisfaction of human social needs, since various forms of self-expression of adults are closely connected with the family lifestyle and relationships in it. of a person, especially a child, is a feeling of being needed, loved and indispensable.

We are used to the fact that teachers, various specialists give advice to parents themselves on how to raise their children and how to build relationships with them,

At present, the concept of educating parents themselves is very popular, and its models are successfully operating in many countries of the world, it emphasizes that the need to educate parents is connected precisely with the weakening of the institution of the family, the inability of parents to responsibly and effectively perform their functions in accordance with the requirements of modern society. The problem of parenting is so important and interesting that it constantly attracts the attention of famous scientists and practitioners.

One of the founders of the work on parenting was a well-known scientist, a psychologist who dealt with personality problems - Alfred Adler. He developed the main criteria for the education of parents and family

theories that experts successfully use at the present time. The main principle of family education according to A. Adler is mutual respect of all family members.

The most striking figure among the followers of A. Adler was Rudolf Dreikurs, who did a lot to promote his concept, brought it to the minds of doctors, teachers, educators, social workers and, of course, parents.

The scientist puts the self-consciousness of the child in direct dependence on how much the child is loved and respected in the family. This direction of parenting is based on the conscious and purposeful behavior of parents.

R. Dreykurs approved an extensive practice of consultations, lectures, seminars, workshops for parents, prepared training programs in educational institutions, medical and social and rehabilitation centers in the United States. According to the theory of A. Adler, the family atmosphere, values ​​and traditions of the family are the first factors in the development of the personality, children perceive the norms of behavior, values, culture through their parents, learn to socialize in society. Therefore, the family is the primary group in which the child is formed as a person.

Following the arguments of A. Adler and R. Dreikurs, human behavior always pursues certain social goals, and in order to understand the child's behavior, it is also important to know his aspirations. Often the bad behavior of a child can be explained by the fact that he is trying to attract attention, scare, achieve at a certain moment universal regret and empathy if he is unwell or he feels lonely, helpless in solving some problem.

That is why parents must have certain knowledge and skills in order to correctly and competently respond to different types of behavior of their child.

Ppprinciples, underlying the Adler model Voparents' sleep can be formulated like this:

- Family - this is an organization whose activities are based on the understanding of each member of their tasks and limitations;

- Feelings follow thought and behavior ; family members should work together to create warm and friendly relations among themselves;

- People can only cooperate as equals , which means that each family member must learn to accept the other as an equal person;

- Reason is more helpful in education than strength ; parents should avoid conflicts with children and strive in relations with them to the role of an adviser, mentor and leader; only in this way can a family atmosphere based on mutual respect be achieved;

- in education, you need to follow the internal logic of relationships ; parents should allow the child to feel the consequences of their actions and behavior already in early childhood, so the child will understand how the world works.

- use natural consequences effectively in all situations ;

- together analyze simple examples from life;

- never control the actions of children from a position of power.

All of the above principles can be considered as fundamental rules that parents should not only know, but also meaningfully use in their family practice every day. Your own example is very importantepoincome in the complex process of raising and socializing your child.

It is undeniable that the family for a child with disabilities remains most often the only place to gain experience in social interaction, a model of life training for the individual. Socialization in the family occurs both as a result of a purposeful upbringing process and through the mechanism of social learning. The process of social learning itself, as a rule, is carried out in the following main areas:

- atobreTeniecoqiaflaxotorturea in the process of direct interaction of the child with parents and the immediate environment (brothers, sisters, grandmothers, other relatives);

Socialization is carried out through observation of features of social interaction other family members among themselves;

- "Vicarious Learning"- associated with the assimilation of social experience through the learning of others.

Today, these areas are supplemented by the mass media, the Internet, which actively influence the formation of the "educational space".

"Educational space" is a multidimensional and multifunctional formation, through which the influence of all factors of education and other spaces (vital, subject, information, educational, sociocultural, etc.) is manifested on the processes of formation, development and self-realization of the individual (A.V. Gavrilin, 2004 ).

Scientists consider the "educational space" as an ideal, multidimensional object that ensures the development of the individual in accordance with certain, given goals. In our case, the nature and quality of family relations are the most important characteristics of the "educational space". Therefore, it is so important for parents to have an idea about effective models for the development and upbringing of their child, to know how to properly build a pedagogical strategy in the family, between its members, which form the basis of the “educational space”, which includes a child with problems.

With the basic concepts of the Adler model - "equality", "collaboration", "natural outcomes" connected two central principles of education:

1) renunciation of power in family relationships;

2) taking into account the needs of the child.

This theory of education emphasizes equality between parents and children, both in the area of ​​rights and in the area of ​​responsibility - equality, but not identity.

1.Here, "equality" is seen as recognition of the uniqueness, individuality and inviolability of children of the same family members as adults, the refusal to act from a position of strength.

It is necessary to teach parents to respect their child, stimulating him to do certain things.

Respecting a child means believing in his abilities to recognize individual differences. This does not mean that the child is allowed everything. Each member of the family has a role to play and everyone has the right to their own expression.

Boundless freedom is not the formation of a democratic system of relations in the family. In the upbringing of children, such freedom without reasonable restrictions turns them into tyrants, and adults into slaves, or vice versa.

According to R. Dreykurs, the prerequisites for a modern democratic society are laid in the family, which builds life on the basis of democracy and respect for the rights and opinions of all its members. Democracy should be understood as “freedom, in which there is order and responsibility of choice”, responsibility is an essential component of the entire theoretical system of parenting.

Parents increase their authority not by authoritarian methods and not by fear of punishment, but by correct approaches based on trust and respect for the personality of the child. The ideal of democratic education, proposed by R. Dreikurs, is a person capable of self-control, accustomed to being responsible for himself, for his actions and their consequences.

Here A.S. Makarenko’s attitude sounds modern and timely: “as much respect for a person as possible, as much exactingness to him as possible”.

2. Cooperation is a natural consequence of the operation of the principles of equality, freedom and responsibility.

Conclusion: Each member of the family acts with everyone together in the name of common goals, which is associated with the performance of certain duties and responsibilities of each. The task of parents is not to impose their will on the child, but to convince and correctly guide the child in the family environment around him, positively organizing it in accordance with the age characteristics, state of health and capabilities of the child, his internal needs. The educational environment of the family society should not suppress, but, on the contrary, contribute to the manifestation of the diverse spontaneous activity of the child, the development of his personality, his specific properties that are inherent only to him alone.

Conclusion

Summing up, we were convinced that the family plays a very decisive role in the upbringing of a child of primary school age. It became clear that the features of education are determined in the family. The development of a junior schoolchild, the formation of his personal qualities is determined by the level of education in the family, that is, the family is the most important factor in the education of a child of primary school age. The upbringing of children is the bestowal of special forces, spiritual forces. We create a person with love - the love of a father for a mother and a mother for a father, a father's and mother's love for people, a deep faith in the dignity and beauty of a person. Beautiful children grow up in those families where mother and father truly love each other and at the same time love and respect people. The family is the core that lays the foundation for the development and upbringing of the younger student. The family opens, expands opportunities for the younger student. Favorable for the development are intra-family relationships that develop between parents and their children. The contradiction to what has been said, no matter how it looks, are bright moments. Some parents, in the performance of their mentoring functions, perform incomplete observance of the entire range of duties that take place, the role in education and the right to exercise them together with children.

The family is the first social institution in a child's life. The basics of personality, laid down by the family in the first years of life, will not be changed or replaced by either kindergarten or school in the future. What a person is in adulthood is largely the result of family upbringing. What styles and types of parenting create geniuses and which criminals? Is there any connection at all? And is there a “counterweight” to family education? Let's figure it out.

“Without love, a child can be fed, but education devoid of love and human warmth will never succeed in making him an independent person.” - Donald Winnicott.

Primary socialization of the child as the main function of the family

In the language of psychology, the family determines the primary socialization of the child. Kindergarten, school, university - secondary socialization. Naturally, the primary is more important. It lays down the basic ways of a person's response to problems, patterns of behavior, and attitudes. What is meant by primary socialization:

• mastering the language and emotional structure;
• mastering the basic value norms and meaningful ideas of society.

The purpose of primary socialization in the family is to form in the child social responsibility and the ability to subordinate the individual to the general.

The socialization of the child goes through imitation and identification.

• Through imitation, the child learns elements of culture, skills, traditions, rituals. But for imitation, that is, imitation, there must be an example. And these are the parents.
• Identification is the acceptance of norms and beliefs as one's internal (or non-acceptance). At this stage, all is not lost. And even if the family is dysfunctional, but the child is more favorably influenced from outside, then he may not accept the example of his parents. A good example: in a family of alcoholics, children usually have two scenarios: to repeat the image of their parents, or vice versa categorically not to take alcohol. The middle is extremely rare.

When family members do not cope with their duties and rights, disharmony arises in the family. Dysfunction due to disharmony. With the dysfunction of the family and other institutions of public education, the child's maladaptation and social maladjustment arise as a mass phenomenon. This, in turn, leads to desocialization, which is observed in modern society.

The educational potential of the family

The family is the thread between the child and society, other social institutions. Moral norms, rules, morality are laid in the family, moreover, in the first 5 years of a child's life. Such universal values ​​as honesty, justice, kindness, fidelity, generosity, selflessness, etc. are being formed.

Otherwise, selfish behavior, destructive aspirations (aggressiveness, hostility, anger, hatred) may form. Ultimately, this will possibly lead to immoral behavior. Then the person will be a danger to society and himself. Therefore, the value of family education is boundless for society.

As part of family education, the following is carried out:

• patriotic;
• ethnocultural;
• aesthetic;
• moral;
• physical;
• sexual and gender education.

The family is the first educational system a child enters. Moreover, he is constantly in this system. This means that every action of parents, word, gesture has an educational value. Family upbringing is realized constantly, every day within the joint life of children and parents.

This is the uniqueness of family education: in its continuity and duration, more emotional character and lasting influence.

In the modern world, there is a decrease in the educational potential of the family. There are several reasons for this:

• lack of time for education due to excessive labor employment of parents;
• lack of joint pastime and communication between children and parents;
• the growing value gap between generations, and as a result, their alienation;
• strengthening the influence of external adverse factors on the microclimate in the family.

As a result, the relationship between parents and children suffer quantitatively and qualitatively. The first is the lack of shared time. Secondly, it is a lack of understanding and trust in relationships.

The personal characteristics of the parents also have a considerable influence on the family. Negatively affects:

• instability, inconsistency of personality;
• inadequate self-esteem;
• diffidence;
• egocentrism;
• accentuated character traits;
• overly pronounced nature of the processing of feelings and experiences;
• rigidity of thought.

The attitude of the child to himself later will depend on the attitude of the parents to the child.

Tasks of family education

The tasks of family education include the following:

• Creation of the most favorable conditions for the spiritual, physical and moral development of the child.
• Ensuring the socio-economic and psychological security of the child in the family.
• Transfer of experience in creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it.
• Teaching children the necessary skills to take care of themselves and loved ones.
• Raising self-esteem.
• Formation of the child's social activity and social resistance to the negative influence of the environment.

Principles of family education

The principles of family education, which determine the successful development of the child, include:

• humanity (with children it is easy when they are welcome, and not vice versa);
• openness and trust in relations;
• sequence of requirements;
• favorable socio-psychological climate in the family;
• inclusion of children in family life;
• help and support the child in any situation.

Accordingly, good conditions for education are considered:

• emotionally positive relationship of spouses;
• love and respect for family members;
• attention and discipline;
• joint pastime;
• physical contact with children (hugs, strokes).

Parenting Styles

“Dependence on parents, which is instilled in children as the virtue of obedience to parents, is an expression of unregulated parental power.” - Françoise Dolto.

There are 3 main pedagogical styles of parenting. Each of them affects the child in its own way.

Authoritarian

Parents suppress the child and use their power. Children eventually grow up gloomy, incredulous and passive.

conniving

Parents have little to do with the child. In fact, he is on his own. Children with such upbringing do not know how to make plans and achieve goals, they do not differ in perseverance.

Democratic

Parents contribute to the development of the child, encourage his interests and develop abilities. Children grow up inquisitive and active in all spheres of life, they are independent.

There is a more extended classification of styles of family education:

1. Family idol. The child is always in the center of attention, his slightest whims are satisfied. Permissiveness and praise do not benefit the future personality, the child grows up selfish and with inadequate self-esteem.
2. Cinderella. The child lives in conditions of punishment and abuse. He does not receive emotional support. In the future, it will be a quiet, downtrodden person with low self-esteem and, possibly, hidden.
3. Hyper-care. The child does not have the right to choose, everything is decided for him by the parents. As a result, he grows up passive and dependent, not ready for an independent life.
4. Inconsistency and inconsistency. It occurs in two models: "carrot and stick" or the mismatch of the styles of mom and dad. The personality of the child becomes unstable, duplicity and uncertainty develop, internal conflicts develop.
5. Hypoprotection. The upbringing of the child takes its own course. As a result, the child is brought up by the street, the Internet or someone else. There are many development options, but most of them, unfortunately, are unfavorable.
6. Condescending and condescending. Parents do not punish the child or point out undesirable behavior purely formally. In this scenario, the child grows up in the belief that "nothing will happen to him."
7. All-round defense. Parents do not listen to the opinion from the outside about the unacceptable behavior of the child, they themselves do not notice it and believe that their child is always right.
8. Demonstrative. Parents exaggeratedly emphasize the "hooligan disposition" of their "tomboy and silly". They pretend to be worried, but they themselves are proud of this behavior of the child.
9. Pedantically suspicious. Parents show total control and distrust. The child becomes anxious and nervous, aggressive.
10. Rigidly authoritarian. The child does not have the right to vote, choice, his objections are not accepted. The child grows up shy, withdrawn or aggressive.
11. Persuasive. Parents show their position only in words. As a result, they lose credibility in the eyes of the child. The child becomes his own master.
12. Expanded sphere of parental feelings. Parents violate the personal space of the child, want to know everything, do not leave him any personal secrets. This is fraught with aggression, internal conflicts of the child, distrust of people.

Parental settings

Parenting style - attitude towards all children and upbringing as such. Parental position (attitude) - attitude towards a particular child. There are 4 types of parental settings.

Acceptance and love

Parents' catchphrase: "The child is the center of my interests." Parents spend a lot of time with the child, doing things together, showing tenderness. As a result, the child develops normally, feels a sense of closeness with his parents.

Explicit Rejection

Catchphrase: "I hate this child, I won't worry about him." Parents are inattentive and cruel with the child, avoid contact with him. As a result, the child grows up as an emotionally undeveloped personality, aggressive, with criminal inclinations.

Excessive exactingness

Motto: "I don't want a child the way he is." Parents find fault with the child, constantly criticize, do not praise. In the future, the child is characterized by frustration and self-doubt.

Overprotection

Motto: "I will do everything for my child, I will devote my life to him." Education is characterized by excessive indulgence or restriction of freedom. The child grows up infantile (especially in terms of social relations), dependent.

Types of family relationships

If we are talking about the type, then we are talking about the very relationships of family members: beliefs, attitudes, values. If about style, then this is purely pedagogical behavior of parents: techniques, methods, methods. By type of upbringing, the following families can be distinguished.

Diktat

The name speaks for itself: parents dictate to the child how he needs to live. This type:

• negatively affects the development of the child's initiative, self-confidence, self-esteem;
• provokes the development of inadequate self-esteem, dissatisfaction with many needs, including higher ones (self-development, self-affirmation, self-realization).

guardianship

We are talking about excessive parental care for the child. With this type, two outcomes of socialization are possible:

• the child as a result is not ready for life, he is irresponsible, objectively and subjectively disadvantaged;
• the despotic orientation of character is noted.

non-intervention

Parents are indifferent to the life of the child, they do not have authority in his eyes and are not a significant group. The consequence is the alienation of the child.

Confrontation

It involves the confrontation of parents and the child, defending their opinions of each of the parties. Consequences of this type: inadequate self-esteem, mechanisms of conflict interaction, negative personality traits (rudeness, scandalousness, cynicism, etc.).

Cooperation

The optimal and desirable type of upbringing for successful successful socialization. This is interaction, family cooperation, mutual respect.

maternal attitude

I want to consider in particular the influence of the mother's attitude towards the child on his development. It has been scientifically proven that it is this connection that is the fundamental principle of all human development.

First type

Such mothers easily and quickly adapt to the needs of the child. Their behavior is supportive and permissive. Mothers of this type do not set specific goals, but wait for the child to mature for something.

Second type

Mothers of the second type try to consciously adapt to the needs of the child, but not always successfully. Because of this, the behavior of the mother becomes tense, and the relationship with the child is formal. Such mothers are more likely to dominate.

Third type

Mothers behave like mothers only out of duty, they do not experience any feelings. They tightly control the child, show coldness, are very categorical and cold-blooded in matters of accustoming to something (they do not take into account the development of a particular child).

Fourth type

Mothers who are inconsistent in their behavior. Inadequately relate to the age and needs of the child. Educational methods and reactions to the behavior of the child are contradictory. They misunderstand their child.

The last type is the most unfavorable for the child; it forms the anxiety and insecurity of the child. The first type is the most favorable. He brings up in the child a sense of control over his own life.

Psychological requirements for family education

In order for family education to benefit the child, it is important to adhere to the following principles.

1. Before bringing up any feeling, quality, attitude, it is necessary to form in the child the need for this feeling, quality, attitude. That is to create a motivating situation.
2. It is important to pay great attention to evaluation (verbal). It is a reinforcement for desired and undesired actions. Moreover, positive behavior should be emphasized more. As a rule, parents, on the contrary, scold more often and stronger, and (seemingly) forget to praise for something everyday and insignificant.
3. Any quality of personality must be formed in the process of activity, and not in words. All basic activities are available in the family: work, communication, play. But it is important to consider the age of the child.
4. When educating something, it is important to focus on the sensual sphere, rather than the intellectual one. The child must feel every quality.
5. It is necessary to focus on the positive qualities of the child and respect his personality.

upbringing

Education is the result of education. It manifests itself externally (observance of norms and rules of behavior) and internally (moral attitudes and motives, moral choice). There are two levels of upbringing of the child.

High level

A large stock of moral knowledge (attitude towards oneself, work, another person, society). Consistency of knowledge with beliefs and motives. Unity of beliefs and actions. Single personal worldview. Developed willpower, the ability to set goals. Getting things done despite the difficulties. A person is self-confident, positive emotions and feelings prevail.

Low level

Ambiguous ideas about what is moral and what is immoral. Personal motives diverge from social norms of behavior. Moral knowledge and beliefs are mismatched. Goal-setting is "lame": goals are unrealistic or situational, easily destroyed at the slightest difficulty. The person is anxious and unsure of himself, negative emotions and feelings predominate.

Frequent mistakes of family education

1. Child neglect. Most often due to excessive employment of parents.
2. Hyper-care.
3. "Hedgehog gloves", that is, constant punishment and censure.
4. Conditions of increased moral responsibility. That is, excessive demands and expectations on the part of parents. The desire for their child to be like some kind of ideal or to complete their plans.
5. Aloofness and coldness. As a rule, occurs in case of unwanted pregnancy.

Afterword

The family for a child is a micromodel of society. It forms life attitudes, social values ​​and personality orientations in childhood. The experience acquired by children by a certain life stage is determined by the characteristic features of the family: tastes, life values ​​and goals, way of life.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky wrote: “Beautiful children grow up in those families where the father and mother truly love each other and at the same time love and respect people. I immediately see a child whose parents deeply, cordially, beautifully, devotedly love each other. This child has peace and tranquility in his soul, deep mental health, sincere faith in goodness, faith in human beauty, faith in the word of an educator, subtle sensitivity to subtle means of influence - a kind word and beauty.

Children deprived of parental attention and supervision join the ranks of homeless children, criminals, become involved in addictions and other types of deviant behavior.

In general, the success of the educational function of a family depends on its educational potential: material and living conditions, the size of the family, and the nature of relations between its members. The nature of the relationship includes the emotional, labor and psychological atmosphere in the family, the education and qualities of the parents, their experience, family traditions and the division of responsibilities.

Raising a child is not such an easy task as it might seem at first glance. There are different types and how to sort them out? What methods of family education to choose? Let's look for answers together.

Family education and family pedagogy, depending on how parents perceive and control the child on an emotional level, distinguish the following styles of influence:

• authoritative,
• authoritarian,
• liberal,
• indifferent.

Authoritative and authoritarian styles

With authoritative upbringing, the mother and father are emotionally warm towards children, but control over them is quite high. Parents recognize and strongly encourage the independence of the child. This style is characterized by the readiness to revise the requirements and rules for him as the baby grows up.

The authoritarian style is expressed by a low level of emotional perception of children and a high level of control. The communication of such parents with a child is more like a dictate, when all requests are made in the form of orders, and the requirements, prohibitions and rules do not change under any pretext.

Liberal and indifferent styles

In a family where children are warmly received emotionally, and control over them is at a low level (up to forgiveness and permissiveness), a liberal style of education reigns. At the same time, there are practically no requirements and rules, and the level of leadership leaves much to be desired.

With an indifferent style, parents take very little part in upbringing, the child is perceived emotionally coldly, his needs and interests are simply ignored. There is practically no control from the father and mother.

Of course, each of the described styles of influence affects the child in a certain way. But the dominant role in the formation of personality is played by the types of family education. We will consider them in more detail.

Harmonious type

Types of family education of a child are divided into harmonious and disharmonious. The first one implies:

• mutual emotional support;
• maximum satisfaction of the needs of all family members, both adults and children;
• recognition of the fact that the child is a person, and he can choose his own path of development;
• encouraging children to be independent.

In addition, in difficult situations, mutual respect is shown and equal rights of parents and the child in decision-making apply. The system of requirements for a child here is always justified by his age and personality. Control by parents is systematic, gradually a small member of the family gets used to self-control. Rewards and punishments are always deserved and reasonable. Parents have constancy and consistency in matters of education, but at the same time everyone retains the right to their own view of the situation. Mother or father can make changes in the education system according to the age of the children.

Disharmonious types of family education

They are very diverse, but there are common features that correspond to varying degrees to each family of this category. First of all, disharmonious types of family education are characterized by a low emotional level of acceptance of the child and even the possibility of emotional rejection. Of course, there is no reciprocity in such a relationship. Parents are practically divided and do not have a common opinion in matters of education. In relationships with children, they are often inconsistent and contradictory.

Disharmonious types of family education are characterized by the fact that in various spheres of life, parents limit the child, often unjustifiably. In terms of requirements, there can be two polar positions here: either they are overstated, or they are practically absent. In the latter case, permissiveness reigns. Parental control is not where it needs to be, and it is not enough. Punishments are undeserved and too frequent, or, conversely, they are absent.

Disharmonious types of family education of a child are distinguished by the fact that in everyday communication with a daughter or son there is an increased conflict. The needs of children are either insufficiently or excessively met. The most common types are:

Hypoprotection and hyperprotection

These are two polar options, when care, attention, control, interest in the child and his needs are either not enough (hypoprotection) or too much (hyperprotection).

Contradictory type

It assumes that parents have different views on education, which they put into practice. The impact on the child periodically changes depending on his age, but at the same time educational strategies are mutually exclusive and incompatible.

Increased moral responsibility

High demands are placed on children, often inappropriate for their age and individuality.

Hypersocializing upbringing

In this case, the successes, achievements of the child, the attitude of peers towards him, the principle of duty, responsibility, and duties are put forward in the first place. All this is done without taking into account the individual qualities and age of the children.

Cruel treatment

With this type of upbringing, punishments are heavier than misconduct, and there are no rewards.

Disease cult

The child is treated as weak, sick, helpless, creating a special atmosphere around him. This leads to the development of selfishness and a sense of one's exclusivity.

In addition to styles and types, there are methods of family education. They will be discussed below.

Methods of influencing children

Types of family education and family relationships suggest the following ways of influence: love, trust, personal example, showing, discussion, empathy, assignment, control, personal elevation, humor, praise or encouragement, punishment, traditions, sympathy.

Parents educate their children not only with words and conviction, but, first of all, by personal example. Therefore, it is important to properly organize the personal and social behavior of the mother and father. Mom and dad will not have a positive influence on the child if they themselves do not strive to become better. Family education methods work only when parents are engaged in self-education.

Impact on young children

Family education of preschool children must be organized in such a way that the requirements for the child are agreed between the parents. This will help children behave correctly, teach them to manage their emotions and actions. It is necessary to talk about the requirements of the child in the form of a wish, request or advice, since the commanding tone will cause a negative reaction.

In any team, traditions are a reflection of the nature of communication and the level of upbringing. The same goes for the family. The emerging customs and traditions have a beneficial effect on children. In addition, it unites parents and the child. In preparation for the holidays, kids are attached to the everyday side of life. They help clean and decorate the house, take part in cooking and table setting, prepare gifts and cards for relatives.

The main components of the family

Family education of preschool children is not much different from the education of children of other ages. A family in which harmony reigns is protection, a support for a child, thanks to this, confidence and a sense of being needed in this world appear, which gives rise to spiritual comfort. Emotional compatibility of all members creates the right tone in communication, for example, this manifests itself when a mother's or father's joke is able to prevent a brewing conflict, defuse tension. This is where the development of a sense of humor in a child originates, which will allow him to be self-critical, be able to laugh at himself and his behavior, gain stamina in life situations, and not be touchy and tearful.

Best Relationship Model

Family education and family pedagogy are aimed at creating the conditions under which a model of relations is formed in a child. According to it, he will build his whole life further, will create a family, raise children and grandchildren. What should this model be? Family education takes place in an atmosphere of goodwill, warmth, happiness and love, and the characteristics of children are necessarily taken into account. Parents strive to develop the abilities and best qualities of the child, accepting him as he is. The requirements for children are based on mutual respect. Education is based on the positive qualities of the child, and not on the negative. Otherwise, the baby will acquire a bunch of complexes.

Finally

Thus, thinking about the correctness of raising a child, first look at yourself from the outside. After all, children copy their parents. Strive to become better, and the child will begin to change too. Harmony for your family!

In families raising children with special needs, for various reasons, parents often use incorrect parenting models.

Hyper-care. Parents strive to do everything for the child, even what he can do for himself. The child is, as it were, placed in greenhouse conditions, in connection with which he does not learn to overcome difficulties, he does not develop self-service skills, etc. Pitying the child and trying to help him, the parents themselves limit the possibilities of his development. However, parents of a child with special needs, as a rule, find it difficult to determine what the child himself can do and what he needs help with. The “hyper-custodial” parenting model is often found in parents of children with developmental disabilities. A severe defect (with cerebral palsy, mental retardation, early childhood autism) provokes parents to use an inadequate educational approach.

Contradictory upbringing. A child with developmental disabilities may cause disagreement among family members in the use of educational tools. So, for example, the parents of a child can be supporters of strict upbringing and make appropriate demands on him. At the same time, grandparents living in the family can take a softer position and therefore allow the child to do whatever he wants. With such upbringing, the child does not form an adequate assessment of his abilities and qualities, he learns to “maneuver” between adults and often pushes them against each other.

Education according to the type of increased moral responsibility leads to constant overstrain in the child. Parents or other relatives constantly impose such duties and responsibilities on the child, which are difficult for a child with developmental disabilities to cope with due to existing disabilities. The child has increased fatigue, there is no adequate assessment of their capabilities. He is always a little short of the optimal result, so he is unsuccessful. He is often scolded, he always feels guilty, which undoubtedly forms his low self-esteem.

Authoritarian hypersocialization. Parents who themselves have a high social status more often gravitate towards this model. They constantly overestimate the child's abilities, seeking, through their own authoritarian efforts, to develop his social skills. Parents who use this model tend to overestimate their child's abilities.

Education in the "cult" of the disease. Many parents form in the family the attitude to the child as to the patient. With this nature of the relationship, the child develops suspiciousness, fear of any ailment, such as a cold. The child treats himself as a sick person, in connection with which he develops an idea of ​​himself as a weak person, incapable of great achievements. His inner position is always closer to refusing to solve a problem than to overcoming it.

The "little loser" model. These parents attribute social failure to their child and are sure that he will never succeed in life. Parents experience a sense of vexation and shame due to the fact that children show failure and ineptitude. Some consider life with such a child as an unbearable burden, like a cross for life.

Hypoprotection. This model of upbringing is more common in families with low social status (families of drug addicts, alcoholics) or in families where a child with developmental disabilities has no value due to developmental disorders. Parents practically do not care for him, the child may be poorly or unkemptly dressed, poorly fed. No one monitors his daily routine and the observance of the conditions that ensure his development. However, his healthy brothers and sisters may be in the same position.

Child rejection. Lack of love for a child can be in families not only with low, but also with high social status. The rejection of the child may be associated in the minds of parents with the identification of oneself with the defect of the child. It is more common in fathers. In the case of maternal rejection of the child, the situation is explained by the immaturity of the mother's personal sphere and the unformed maternal instinct.

The symbiosis model develops in parents a complete dissolution in the problems of the child. More often this model is found in mothers of sick children who bring them up in single-parent families. Such mothers create for their children a special atmosphere within the family - an atmosphere of absolute love for the child. They almost completely forget about their own problems, professional career and personal growth. Such maternal love distorts the possibilities of the child's personal development. As a result of such upbringing, a selfish personality is formed in a child, incapable of showing love.

symbiotic relationship

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Family upbringing can be very different - from absolute

total control to inattention to your child

at all. It is best when parents look after (non-obtrusive

chivo) for your child, they constantly advise him what to do

(again unobtrusively, but effortlessly), when the child and parents

do some housework together,

do something together. This is bearing fruit. In such children

rapport with parents is highly developed. They serve them

stagger. And, listening to their opinion, children are constantly ready to

such parents, and, as a rule, the academic performance of such children

tee at the proper level. There are several types of families

foot education.

1. Situations of advance payment by trust (A. S. Makarenko),

when trust is given in advance of a personality that is not yet strong, but already

ready to justify it. Conditions are created in the family for expression

of trust from parents.

2. The situation of unconstrained coercion (T. E. Kon

nikova) is a mechanism of influence of a particular situation not in vi

de uncompromising demands of parents, but in the form of actual

recognition of already existing motives for behavior in new conditions,

ensuring active participation in family life, thanks to

what is the position of the subject, the creative accomplice.

3. Model of family education (O. S. Bogdanova, V. A. Kra

Kovsky), when the child is confronted with necessity and

gives you the opportunity to make your own choices

(of course, under the supervision of adults). Sometimes a situation of choice

acquires the character of a conflict situation in which

there is a clash of incompatible interests and attitudes

(M. M. Yashchenko, V. M. Basova).

4. Model of family education, where there is a situation

creativity (V. A. Krakovsky). Its essence is to create

under such conditions, in which fiction is actualized, in general

expression, fantasy of the child, his ability to improvise,

the ability to get out of an unusual situation. Every child is

talented, you just need to develop these talents in him, do for

child the conditions that will be most acceptable to him.

The choice of family education model depends, first of all, on

from parents. It is necessary to take into account the age of the child, his psychologists

chesky features, level of development and upbringing.

L. N. Tolstoy emphasized that the upbringing of children is only a

cultivation, which no one helps so much,

as children. Self-education is not something auxiliary

in education, but its foundation. "No one can educate

lovek, if he does not educate himself, ”wrote V. A. Su

khomlinsky.

Forms of education are ways of organizing the educator

process, methods of expedient organization of the team

noah and individual activities of children. When the family created

there is an atmosphere of creativity, then the children begin to “open up”,

pour out all your emotions and experiences in this work.

It depends on the parents which parenting model to choose.

The main thing is that it is more suitable than other models for reproduction.

fed child.