Raising children in a Christian way. Raising children in Orthodox traditions. Education in Orthodoxy

Orthodox upbringing of children is practiced in many families where there are believing parents. It is very difficult to determine the norms and rules of such education, which will suit everyone exclusively. There are no specific instructions, but there is a clear and distinct concept of spiritual development and direction along the path of faith. We will talk about this sensitive topic in more detail in this article. Take a few minutes to read, even if you don't consider yourself a deeply religious person.. Surely from this material you will draw something important for yourself.

How are Christian parents different from others?

In any family with healthy family relationships, parents strive to give their children the very best that is available to them. This applies to material wealth and necessary things, as well as moral principles and life principles. It is important for parents that the child be well and warmly dressed, fed, get a good education, and subsequently a decent job, and find family happiness. This is what ordinary parents who do not strictly adhere to faith want. Christian parents want the same for their children, not primarily, but as a supplement. The main goal of their upbringing is to “depict Christ” in the soul of the child, so that the child gains unshakable faith in the Church and lives according to its canons. Modern life has many temptations and is full of customs that are uncharacteristic of Christianity. Therefore, a Christian parent must help the child fight these temptations and teach him to live in parallel with them, going his own way, the way of faith.

Orthodox upbringing of children - upbringing in severity?

Many of those who are not close to the faith perceive the Orthodox upbringing of children as a system of strict prohibitions and eternal restrictions. But is the life of faith really that strict? Long services, constant prayers, eternal prohibitions. All this seems complicated and unfair to children, but a real Christian will argue with you. It is never necessary to force and threaten a child to pray, trying to cultivate humility in him. This is fraught with the fact that the baby will grow up and give up faith, and possibly from communication with parents. It is important for a true Christian to create such an environment so that the child feels boundless love, the presence of God, feels his influence, finds true faith within himself. If this happens, then prayers and any daily rituals will not be a burden. For this to happen, the child must see an example in the family. That is, mom and dad must read prayers correctly, stand up to the end of the service.
Of course, there is no need to be strict. Many people know the famous biblical quotation, which says that a parent who spares the rod hates his son, and the one who loves will punish him from childhood. It is wrong to take this phrase literally. If a child does not obey and does something life-threatening, for example, plays with an outlet, then a calm tone will not always help here, more serious measures are needed. Remember that parents must always have a certain authority over children, their word must be “legitimate”, the child must rely on it. An Orthodox upbringing can be considered strict, but no more strict than any other "healthy" upbringing.

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What is the Orthodox upbringing of children: factors of spiritual growth

Orthodox upbringing of children in the family consists in upbringing in constant responsibility, love and self-giving. Orthodoxy cannot be regarded as a system or attempted to create one on one's own. And in order to help the child "find Christ", it is important for parents to adhere to the following factors of spiritual growth.

1. Sacraments. The first time a child should be brought to Christ on the eighth day after birth. On this day, the Sacrament of Baptism is performed. It is believed that the Lord washes the child from original sin. The curse that weighs on the human race is lifted in the process of baptism. The next Sacrament is chrismation. It refers to the adoption of a child by the Lord. The Lord grants the child grace, puts him on a par with the chosen family, the holy people. According to the Old Testament, chrismation was previously performed only on prophets and royalty. But according to the New Testament, this rite was given to every Christian. Believers believe that the process of communion of the “Blood and Body of the Lord” heals, strengthens health, and helps spiritual purification. Therefore, Christian parents give children communion often, there are no obstacles in this. When performing the Sacraments, children, if possible and depending on their age, should understand the meaning of what is happening. This is how communication with the Lord Himself takes place.
2. Prayer. Prayer is considered the breath of spiritual life. Christians believe that just as physical life stops with the cessation of breathing, so spiritual life stops, just as prayer stops. The concept of God is instilled in a child from an early age. It is believed that consciousness awakens at the age of 2 years. From that time on, the teaching of prayer should take place. Christians believe that it exists in three forms: fulfilling household rules in prayer, offering short prayers during the day, attending Church. The first prayer for a child may be “Our Father”, “I believe” and an appeal to the Virgin. Later, he is taught to pray not only for himself, but also for loved ones. It is worth adding new prayers gradually, as it can be difficult for a child to read for more than 20 minutes in a row. It is important that he understands what is said, and not just pronounces the text from the written sheet. When introducing a prayer to a child, talk to him about the meaning of this prayer. Ask how he understands it and tell how you understand it. If you have difficulty understanding, do not hesitate to ask the priest in the Church, do not be afraid to show your "ignorance". Parents should tell their children what to pray for and what not to. Prayers can do wonders, such as helping you study or heal. After the service in the Church at home, you can ask the child what he understood from the hymns, and what remained incomprehensible to him.
3. Bows. From the age of 7 years, that is, from adolescence, the child must be taught to bow. These should be bows from the waist and the earth. Christians believe that bows make up for absent-mindedness in the process of prayer, complement weakness in attention and help prayer reach the heart. This custom is established by the Lord Himself. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He "fell to the ground and prayed."
4. Fast. In Orthodox families, it is necessary to fast not only on the fasts established by the Church, but also on Wednesdays and Fridays. According to Christian teachings, babies can not fast only as long as they are fed with mother's milk. This applies to physically healthy children. In addition, the child must be brought up in such a way that he knows that carnality, oversaturation, immoderation does not affect him gracefully. A child cannot be fed "anywhere" as soon as he cries and requests it. In a Christian family, there should always be a set order for eating.
5. Spiritual reading. According to the Lord, a person will live not by bread alone, but by the word that comes from God's mouth. It is believed that the Mother of God was very fond of reading the Holy Scriptures. Christians believe that spiritual food shapes the soul of a child, so it is more important than physical food. Children are very fond of reading literature on biblical topics, they retell it with pleasure, add something of themselves to the stories. In Ancient Rus', for example, they learned to read from the Psalms. In addition to books on biblical topics, children should also study youth literature, from which they can draw examples of life in God. Reading together has a unifying power, when the whole family gathers in one room, and one person reads aloud. After that, everyone discusses what they read, share their impressions, adults explain the meaning of what they read to kids.
6. Sanctification of the environment. The environment affects people. Christians are in awe of the organization of the space of the house. Sacred objects, crosses, icons, pictures of the Sacred History - all this has a positive effect on children and repels any "damage".

Raising children according to Christ, believing people themselves adhere to the above factors and teach their children this from childhood.

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Traditions of Orthodox upbringing of children in the family

The traditions of spiritual education are familiar to every Christian. They have evolved over the centuries and still form the basis of the Christian life. Many traditions are observed in our country and in those families in which it is not customary to pray every day and attend Church on Sundays. But people gather as a family for Easter, bake Easter cakes, celebrate Christmas, many observe Great Lent. Of course, the life of a Christian is not limited only to these actions and involves the observance of certain traditions every day. Let's get acquainted with some of them in more detail.
Traditions of Orthodox upbringing of children in the family:

• According to the customs of the Church, from the age of 4 before communion, the child should not drink and eat from the moment he woke up.
• In order for a child's confession to be more meaningful, whole and productive, from the age of 7, parents should teach him to write down his own sins.
• From the age of 2, a child must be taught that in the morning, as soon as he wakes up, he must cross himself, say words of praise to the Creator and take communion. After waking up, a child can be given a little prosphora and a spoonful of holy water.
• An old tradition is the reading of morning and evening prayers by the whole family. The head of the family reads loudly, all households repeat for them quietly. This tradition is important to adhere to in modern times. If you can’t get everyone together twice a day, then you can do it once, for example, before going to bed.
• Grown up children, along with their parents, need to attend night services when it is supposed to. For example, at Easter, on Holy Week, before Christmas.
• It is necessary to teach a child to observe fasts from an early age. But it is impossible not to allow prohibitions to eat certain foods, it is important that the child himself learns to refuse it.
• Spiritual literature is read with children from a very early age. At first, these may be children's books on biblical topics, presented in understandable language, perhaps with pictures. Over time, it is important to teach the child to read the Holy Scriptures, the biographies of the great saints every day.

It is good to observe traditions and teach this to your children, but a true Christian must not only blindly do what is prescribed, but must also understand the essence. If you do not understand the meaning of some tradition or you doubt whether it is worth teaching your baby, then talk to the priest. Ask, attend sermons, then you will have no questions left, but understanding and faith will come.

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Children in Orthodox society were brought up in obedience to their parents and reverence for them. Honoring mother and father was perceived as a commandment of God, without which it was impossible for a person to grow up safely. And the woman knew her responsibility of family ministry and was aware of her duty to spiritually educate her children. Parents understood the need for wise pedagogical conversations with the child in the family.

Thus, all the most ancient Orthodox traditions determine the special role of the family in the upbringing of children, and, consequently, in the formation of the entire Christian, Orthodox society and humanity as a whole. And at the heart of the upbringing of children is the upbringing of parents themselves. And this is the only true way.

Since only by one's own example can one teach a child to love and honor their parents, to be morally and spiritually developed, honest and responsible, and to be ready to raise their own children and take care of them. And to do it also, on the basis of their own examples and through the education of themselves.

Based on an article by a Christian father
two children, organizer of the pilgrimage
on the holy places of Russia, Alexander Kotilin.

Igum. George (Shestun)

The expression "family is a small Church" we meet on the pages of Holy Scripture. Even the Apostle Paul in his epistles mentions especially close to him Christian spouses Akila and Priscila and welcomes them "and their home church" (Rom. 16, 4). When talking about the Church, we almost always use words and concepts related to family life: we call a priest "father", "father", we consider ourselves the "spiritual children" of our confessor. What is it that unites the concepts of the Church and the family so much?

The Church is a union, a unity of people in God. The Church affirms by her very existence: God is with us! According to the Evangelist Matthew, Jesus Christ said: "... where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20). Bishops and priests are not representatives of God, not His substitutes, but witnesses of God's participation in our lives. And it is important to understand the Christian family as a "small Church", that is, the unity of several people who love each other, held together by a living faith in God. The responsibility of parents is in many respects similar to the responsibility of the church clergy: parents are also called to become, first of all, "witnesses", that is, examples of Christian life and faith. It is impossible to talk about the Christian upbringing of children in a family if the life of the "small Church" is not realized in it.

A family, even in the most difficult times, is a "small Church" if there remains in it at least a spark of striving for goodness, for truth, for peace and love, in other words, for God; if it has at least one witness of the faith, its confessor. There have been cases in the history of the Church when only a single saint defended the truth of Christian teaching. And in family life there are periods when only one person remains a witness and confessor of the Christian faith, the Christian attitude to life.

We cannot force our children into some sort of heroic conflict with the environment. We are called to understand their difficulties that they face in life, we must sympathize with them when, out of necessity, they remain silent, hide their beliefs in order to avoid conflict. But at the same time, we are called upon to develop in children an understanding of the main thing that needs to be kept and what to believe in. It is important to help the child understand: it is not necessary to talk about kindness - you have to be kind! You can not show the cross or icon, but you can not laugh at them! It is possible not to talk about Christ in school, but it is important to try to learn as much as possible about him and try to live according to Christ's commandments.

The Church knew periods of persecution, when it was necessary to hide the faith, and sometimes suffer for it. These periods were the times of the greatest growth of the Church. May this thought help us in our efforts to build our family, the small Church.

Considering the family as a "domestic Church", as living cells of the body of the Church, one can understand the nature of the national identity of the Church. "House Church" by its very nature embodies religious values ​​and beliefs in everyday life, behavior, holidays, feasts and other traditional customs. The family is more than father, mother and children. The family is the heir to the moral and spiritual customs and values ​​created by grandfathers, great-grandfathers and ancestors. We are constantly reminded of this by the stories of the Bible about the Old Testament patriarchs. It is very difficult, and, perhaps, impossible to create a genuine Christian way of life, neglecting traditions. The family is called upon not only to perceive, support, but also to pass on from generation to generation the spiritual and religious, national and domestic tradition. From family tradition and thanks to it, on the basis of special reverence for ancestors and paternal graves, the family hearth and national customs, a culture of national feeling and patriotic loyalty was created. The family is the first native place on earth for a child – a source not only of warmth and nourishment, but also of conscious love and spiritual understanding. The very idea of ​​"motherland" - the bosom of my birth, and "fatherland", the earthly nest of my fathers and ancestors, arose from the depths of the family.

In modern pedagogy, the problem of sexual education is declared as one of the main ones. In traditional Russian pedagogy, this problem was viewed as a chaste relationship between a man and a woman, a boy and a girl. The current transformation of the concept of sexual relations can only be explained by a change in the view of the family.

We have already said that from the point of view of Orthodoxy, the family is a "small Church". Family relationships are primarily spiritual relationships. The upbringing of boys and girls was based on the understanding that sexual relations are possible only within the family and must be sanctified by a blessed union in the sacrament of marriage. Boys and girls were accustomed to modesty by the whole way of life of the family (the intimate was not spoken aloud). Virginity and chastity were kept as a shrine, as the basis of spiritual peace and future family well-being.

The first post-revolutionary years brought with them a desire for open relationships. But the gradual realization that the family is the basis of society turned the state policy in the field of education and social life towards strengthening the family. However, the spiritual basis of family relations gradually disappeared with the closing of churches and the impact of atheistic ideology. Strengthening the family, building relationships between the sexes was possible only on a psychological basis, which was reflected in the introduction of the course "Psychology of family relations" in secondary schools. Within its framework, there was no talk about sexual education, students were prepared for family life at the psychological level, that is, it was mainly about reducing interpersonal conflicts. Sexual relations were still recognized as possible only within the family.

The loss of the spiritual basis of the family, the fear of God, gradually led to more free, more precisely, loose relationships, which were still not customary to talk about, at the social level such relationships were even condemned. Meanwhile, the external manifestations of life, such as an increase in the number of divorces, an increase in the number of abortions, testified to the presence of problems in family relations.

The modern, physiological, approach to sex education is based on an attempt to legitimize lawlessness. It is based on the idea that sexual, and in the language of modern pedagogy - sexual, relationships are not limited to the family, but become a reality for most young people even before marriage. If this is so, then we are no longer talking about the family - it all comes down to sexual psychology and paraphernalia. The result was the abolition of the concept of the family as the basis of the future life of young people. The families in which they now live and are being brought up are also ignored, the opinion and influence of parents in the field of sex education is ignored, which is manifested in an attempt to exclude parents from discussing programs and the content of sex education courses.

If we express the change in views on the family in our society, then we can say that from a family based on spiritual relationships, we gradually moved on to spiritual (psychological) relationships and then to carnal (physiological), that is, to such relationships that ultimately As a result, they no longer need a family. Metaphorically, this can be expressed as follows: where shame is lost, conscience is silent and sin triumphs.

Marriage is enlightenment and mystery at the same time. It is the transformation of man, the expansion of his personality. A person acquires a new vision, a new sense of life, is born into the world in a new fullness. Only in marriage is it possible to fully understand a person, to see another person. In marriage, a person plunges into life, entering it through another person. This knowledge gives that feeling of completeness and satisfaction, which makes us richer and wiser.

This fullness deepens even more with the emergence of the third, merged together, from the two, their child. A perfect married couple will give birth to a perfect child, it will continue to develop according to the laws of perfection. But if between the parents there is an unconquered discord, a contradiction, then the child will be the product of this contradiction and will continue it.

Through the sacrament of marriage, grace is also granted for the upbringing of children, which Christian spouses only contribute to in their parental activities, as the Apostle Paul says: “Not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). Secretly, but tangibly assist parents in raising children, averting various dangers from them, guardian angels given to babies from holy baptism.

If in marriage only an external connection has taken place, and not the victory of each of the two over their own selfishness and pride, then this will also affect the child, entailing his inevitable alienation from his parents.

It is impossible to forcibly keep, inspire, force the child to be the way the father or mother wants it. Therefore, for the upbringing of children, the most important thing is that they see their parents living a true spiritual life and sanctified by love.

Without the love of parents for their children, it is impossible to talk about Christian upbringing. Parental love is a special love, it is sacrificial and selfless love. Each member of the family is called upon to find himself. The personality of the lover must become stronger and richer than before. "If a grain of wheat, falling into the ground, does not die, it will remain alone; but if it dies, it will bear much fruit" (John 12:24). This is a true austerity of family life - difficult and painful. The "I" of each of the parents is infringed, broken, suppressed by the needs of other family members. Sleepless nights, physical fatigue, stiffness, anxiety - all this cannot be avoided. The father may feel neglected because the wife has begun to pay more attention to maternal responsibilities. Christianity teaches that a voluntary sacrifice of at least a part of the hypertrophied "I" can become the beginning of the creation of a new, better person. Along with the readiness to sacrifice a part of one's "I", an equally strong desire develops to know the "I" of others, to understand the needs of their personalities, outlooks on life, their abilities.

Parents need spiritual guidance and creative inspiration to deepen their understanding of relationships with their own children. At the heart of these relationships is love, full of responsibility, recognizing authority, created on respect and the desire to understand the personality of the child. From a Christian point of view, parental love has the emotional fullness of love, it is important that it does not become selfish. Ideally, she is completely disinterested, and the example of this is the love of the Mother of God for Jesus Christ. A mother's love for her child fills her life, enriches her. It is love for something greater than herself, for something that no longer belongs to her. The child grows up and leaves the parents. The sacrificial, Christian meaning of parental love lies in the recognition of this fact. The images of Abraham and Isaac are still a model for parents who are eager to dedicate the life of a child to God - not to interrupt his life, but to subordinate it more to God than to themselves. This is beautifully expressed on the icons of the Mother of God with the Child sitting directly on Her knees: Her arms embrace Him, not pressing Him to Herself.

A person begins his life in a family that he did not create, this is the family of his father and mother, and he enters it through birth, long before he manages to realize himself and the world around him. I.A. Ilyin said that the child receives this family as a special gift of fate. Marriage is based on choice and decision, and the child does not have to choose and decide. Father and mother, as it were, form the fate that falls on his lot in life, and he can neither reject nor change this fate - he can only accept it and bear it all his life. What will come out of a person in his later life is determined in his childhood, in the bosom of the family. We are all formed in this womb, with all our possibilities, feelings and desires, and each of us remains throughout his life the spiritual representative of his family, as if a living symbol of its family spirit.

The family, being the heir and guardian of spiritual and moral traditions, most of all educates children with its way of life, understanding the need not only to preserve, but also to multiply what we have inherited from previous generations. From a spiritual point of view, it would be more accurate to say: not to multiply, but to raise to a new level, and this is possible only in a churched family. Let's try to explain it on a simple model. If we imagine earthly life as a circle, the transfer of life experience and customs in the family tends to be constantly repeated, and if there are differences in some psychophysical or professional manifestations in different generations, then this, within the framework of our model, changes only the radius of the circle, affecting quantitative characteristics of life without taking it to the next level. In order to change the level of being, each generation must break this circle, turning the trajectory of life into a spiral, preserving, multiplying and exalting it, and this is a task that can only be solved on a spiritual level. Children, with the help of their parents and the grace of God, overcome in themselves the rudiments of those sins and sinful inclinations that they have inherited. The transition of our children to a new level of spiritual life in comparison with ours is the main goal of Christian upbringing in the family. Let children be ahead of us not only in the physical, intellectual and other spheres, but the main thing is that they make a breakthrough in the spiritual sphere of being.

In practice, this task is solved only through the spiritualization, churching of the whole way of family life, through the disclosure of the spiritual meaning of the main realities of life, the Christian understanding of happiness as well-being, bliss in the spirit of the Sermon on the Mount, through the opportunity to freely develop and realize the creative abilities received from God. The feeling of joy and bliss is a gift of God's grace, which is acquired, among other things, by the fulfillment of apparently formal duties: recognition of order and obedience, that is, the preservation of the discipline that has developed in the family.

The sacraments of the Church are the basis for the spiritual growth of children. In the sacrament of baptism, the Lord washes them from original sin, removing from them the curse that weighs on the fallen human race. In the sacrament of chrismation, the Lord adopts the child to Himself, granting him grace. The spiritual life of the child, born in baptism, requires nourishment to sustain it. The Lord grants him nourishment in the sacrament of communion. Innocent babies should be given communion as often as possible. The grace of communion of the Body and Blood of the Lord is extraordinary, it nurtures, heals and strengthens the child spiritually and physically. It is desirable that an infant from the age of four should no longer eat or drink in the morning until communion.

From the age of seven, a baby becomes an adolescent and is considered responsible for his actions. From these years, it is necessary to instill in him spiritual cleanliness, to instill the need to wash away sin in the sacrament of repentance through the confession of his sins. In the sacraments of the Church, children communicate with the Lord himself. By limiting their participation in the sacraments, we violate the commandment of the Savior: "Let the children come to Me and do not hinder them, for of such is the Kingdom of God" (Mark 10:14).

Prayer becomes the breath of spiritual life. Life ends with the cessation of breathing, so spiritual life ends with the cessation of prayer. With the first awakening of consciousness, it is necessary to instill in the child the concept of God as the source of life, goodness and kindness. From that time on, he should be taught to pray. Let the child learn for the rest of his life that his first movement upon awakening should be the addition of fingers and the sign of the cross, the first words - praise to the Lord, the first conversation - prayer, the first taste during the day - communion or the adoption of holy water and consecrated bread (prosphora, antidore , arthosa). As the child grows, the Gospel should be the first reading. Holidays for him should begin with a visit to the temple of God.

Prayer manifests itself in three forms: in the fulfillment of prayerful household rules, in offering short prayers to God throughout the day, in attending church services. Children should also be taught to all these forms of prayer.

Usually a child begins to pray with "Virgin Mary". The Mother of Christ is the Mother of the entire Christian race. And just as the first words of a child are "mom" and "dad", so his first conversations with God should be composed of "Theotokos" and then "Our Father". The child should be taught to pray for loved ones and make the sign of the cross on himself.

As the child grows, so does his prayer rule. For youths who have mastered reading and writing, it is within their power to read the morning and evening prayer rules established by the Church in the morning and evening. They take about 10-15 minutes. The number of prayers should be increased gradually, as the child grows. During the day, the rule of St. Seraphim of Sarov should be read for laity burdened with work and having little time. It includes: three times "Our Father", three times "Mother of God" and once "I believe." When new prayers are added to the rule, they should be explained to the children. When the children grow up, they should be told the story of the origin of prayers and introduced to the biography of the authors. Reading "Holy God", they will hear in these words the song of angelic choirs, seen by a boy in Constantinople during the time of Patriarch Proclus. Starting "Worthy", they will be transferred to a wretched Athos cell, where the beginning of this prayer was heard for the first time in the mouth of the Archangel Gabriel. Reading the 24 petitions of the evening rule, they will remember St. John Chrysostom.

In the first centuries of Christianity, prayer in the family was common and all family members gathered for it. The eldest in the family read the prayer, and all those present quietly repeated after him. We should imitate this custom by having the children read the prayers one by one. From adolescence, it is necessary to teach children to bow and bow to the ground. Bows make up for our absent-mindedness in prayer. The efforts of the body are complemented by weakness of attention and insensitivity of the heart. Attention should be paid to the external manner of holding on to prayer. It is good to end the rule with a common prayer chant. In order to revive the zeal of the children, they need to be told about the cases when the Lord fulfilled the petitions that were voiced in the fervent prayer of children. Children should memorize a number of prayers that help in various circumstances. From an early age, children should get into the habit of praying before and after meals, before and after classes. They should also be taught that before leaving for school or even leaving the house and before going to bed, they approached their parents with a request to cross them. The sign of the cross of parents, performed with faith and reverence, has a great protective power for the child.

In order to accustom a child to church prayer, it is necessary from early childhood to take him to church to attend services. He will not be weary of divine services if he gets used to attending them from beginning to end from childhood, at first sitting, and with age standing. Youths must attend Sunday and holiday vigils and liturgies. Children who have grown up should not be excluded from night services, when they are laid down by the Church.

The Lord Himself pointed out two types of weapons in the fight against the forces of darkness: "This kind is driven out only by prayer and fasting" (Matthew 17:21). If the need for prayer to kindle and maintain spiritual life is recognized by all Christians, then fasting is often not recognized or is not recognized as obligatory. In the life of an old Russian family, we see a strict observance of fasting days - Wednesdays and Fridays - and the four multi-day fasts established by the Church. All patristic literature speaks of the need for our spirit and body to observe fasts. According to the teachings of the Holy Fathers, a healthy baby does not fast only when he is still feeding on his mother's milk, that is, until about three years old (in ancient times, Jewish women fed babies with their own milk until they were three years old). Exclusion of fasting was allowed only for sick children.

Along with the need to observe fasting to some extent, care should also be taken to protect children from the habit of satiety or eating too often at this time. You can not indulge the whims of the child, giving him only what he loves. When children grow up and their character and inclinations are determined, parents need to show tact in relation to the norm of fasting. It is impossible, for example, to deprive them of sweets against their will or unreasonably increase the severity of fasting. Adult children cannot be forcibly kept in strict compliance with all the norms of fasting, if they are burdened by this. In this case, fasting does not benefit the soul, but can harden it. The whole point of fasting is in voluntary abstinence and self-restraint. And so that the usual norms of fasting are not difficult for adult children, they should be accustomed to fasting from a very young age.

Children are well aware of how sincerely the parents themselves observe the accepted rules - be it regular attendance at the temple, goodwill and hospitality, fasting, abstinence from smoking and alcohol. Christian life is built on the fulfillment of the law as an effective principle, as a life position, and not an empty formality or a lifeless ritual. Christian parents, by their behavior, should show their children that the basis of all discipline is the principle "Thy will be done", and not the principle of parental "I want it."

Life in the Spirit includes the preservation and development of spiritual traditions, such as common family prayer in the morning, evening and before meals. Not just a formal reading of them, but teaching children to conscious and spiritual prayer, and this is already part of the spiritual care that parents carry out with the help of their spiritual mentor - an Orthodox priest.

The family in the preservation and multiplication of spiritual traditions is closely intertwined with church life. In an Orthodox family, the whole way of life is connected with the church calendar.

The visible manifestation of family life is the home. The home is the place where the physical, spiritual and spiritual life of the family unfolds. I must say that not every living space can be called a home. There is a special word that expresses love for home, this word is comfort. Comfort is not only an aesthetic characteristic, but a reflection of the spiritual and moral atmosphere of a small Church, giving a feeling of peace and security, love and care. Comfort is, as a rule, a measure of a woman's return to her original essence, a measure of her finding herself. In a sense, comfort is home.

From an educational point of view, a particularly important concept is not just a house, but a father's house. It is in it that children grow up, and a lot depends on whether it exists or not in the life of each generation. The father's house, its spiritual and material atmosphere have been formed for decades and even centuries, this is a visible confirmation of the piety and righteousness of the people who lived and live in it. It is a visible indicator of the spiritual, moral and material multiplication of tribal wealth. The spiritual life of the family or the absence of this side of life is determined by the attitude towards the father's house. A sign of spiritual decline is the already established secular tradition of selling the parents' house after their death or exchanging the parents' apartment when a new family is formed. This always leads to the loss of the house as a kind of material and spiritual aggregate. Instead of a home, the family acquires a space where they can spend the night, eat, exist. Homeless in the spiritual sense of the family are born. And it's good if there is at least an awareness of this homelessness, which gives rise to a desire to create your own home in such a way that over the years it will become a real stepfather's home for children.

Family and home are a spiritual fortress for our children, which protects them from the temptations of this world. What can parents do to help their children resist these temptations? Every day we must be ready to overcome the influence of the world with a healthy Christian upbringing. Everything a child learns at school should be checked and corrected at home. It is not necessary to consider what the teachers give him as unconditionally useful or neutral: after all, even if he acquires useful knowledge or skills, he can be taught many wrong points of view and ideas. A child's spiritual and moral assessment of literature, music, history, art, philosophy, science, and, of course, life and religion must first of all come not from the school, but from the home and the Church.

Parents should watch what their children are taught and correct what they consider harmful, taking a frank position and clearly emphasizing the moral aspect. The Law of the Russian Federation "On Education" (Article 15, paragraph 7) states: "Parents (legal representatives) of underage students, pupils should be provided with the opportunity to familiarize themselves with the course and content of the educational process, as well as with the assessments of students' progress."

Parents should know what kind of music their children listen to, what films they watch (listening or watching with them, if necessary), and give a Christian assessment to all this. In homes that lack the courage to give up television, viewing must be controlled to avoid poisoning.

Self-worship, relaxation, carelessness, enjoyment, renunciation of the slightest thoughts about the other world, which are imposed on us, are teaching godlessness in various forms. Knowing what the world is trying to do to us, we must actively defend ourselves. Alas, when you watch the life of modern Orthodox families and how they pass on their Orthodoxy, one gets the impression that they are losing this battle with the world more often than they are winning.

And yet we should not consider the world around us as entirely bad. We must be reasonable enough to use everything that is positive in it for our educational purposes.

A child accustomed from childhood to classical music, who has developed under its influence, is not subjected to the temptations of the rough rhythm of "rock", modern pseudo-music, to the extent that those who grew up without a musical education are subjected to them. Musical education, according to the Optina elders, purifies the soul and prepares it for receiving spiritual impressions.

A child accustomed to classical literature, who has felt its effect on the soul, who has received true pleasure, will not become a thoughtless adherent of modern television and cheap novels that devastate the soul and lead away from the Christian path.

A child who has learned to see the beauty of classical painting and sculpture will not be seduced by perverted modern art, will not be drawn to tasteless advertising, much less pornography.

A child who is familiar with world history, with how people lived and thought, what traps they fell into, deviating from God and His commandments, and what a glorious and worthy life they led when they were faithful to Him, will be able to correctly judge the life of our time and will not follow the "teachers" of this age [S. Rose].

NOT. Pestov says that while protecting children from all the filth of the world, it is necessary to protect them from the carriers of filth. The apostles instructed the first Christians about saving themselves from people of pagan views. The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians writes: "Do not be deceived: bad associations corrupt good morals" (1 Cor. 15, 33) and further: "... what fellowship of righteousness with lawlessness? What has light to do with darkness? What agreement between Christ and Belial? Or what is the partnership of the faithful with the unbelievers? What is the union of the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God..." (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). The Apostle John the Theologian also writes: "Whoever comes to you and does not bring this doctrine (that is, the confession of Christ), do not receive him into your house and do not greet him. For he who greets him participates in his evil deeds" (2 John 1, 10 -eleven).

In the early centuries, Christians were forbidden to participate in pagan feasts. According to the story of St. Gregory the Theologian, his mother Nonna never shook hands with a pagan woman and did not sit down to eat food with pagans. Many righteous people showed concern for the purity of the faith in which their children grew up. Thus, for example, the granddaughter of the righteous Philaret the Merciful, who later became the wife of the Emperor of Constantinople Constantine IV Porphyrogenic, was brought up in complete seclusion. “Before you, she had not seen anyone else,” the righteous Filaret said about her to the ambassadors who traveled around the Greek Empire to select the most worthy bride for the emperor. The pious Moscow merchant Putilov, who lived at the beginning of the 19th century, taught his sons himself, as he was afraid of the bad influence of their peers on them. His cares and labors were fully justified: all three of his sons became monks and later became famous abbots of three monasteries (Isaiah of Sarov, Moses of Optina and Anthony Maloyaroslavsky).

The doors of the Christian family should be wide open to those who love God, but they should be closed to people who live by the philosophy of godlessness. They should also be closed to those who, calling themselves Christians, in fact do not shun mortal sins. The Apostle Paul spoke about this in his epistles: "I wrote to you not to associate with one who, being called a brother, remains a fornicator, or a covetous man, or an idolater, or a blasphemer, or a drunkard, or a predator; you should not even eat with such a person. corrupt from among you" (1 Corinthians 5:11-13). At the same time, superficial communication with the surrounding non-Christian world is allowed. It is obvious that it is necessary to draw a line between forced business relations with people and voluntary close communication. In any case, when inviting acquaintances to the family, when choosing playmates for children, care must be taken.

Family ties cannot serve as an excuse for associating with lawless people. The Lord considers kinship not according to the flesh, but according to the spirit. "For whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother" (Mark 3:35). The only justification for our fellowship with those who are close to us in the flesh and who do not want to know God can only be the fulfillment of the commandments of love, the fulfillment of which is obligatory in relation to everyone without exception. However, in this case, communication should be limited to necessity.

Together with the concern for the selection of spiritually nourishing literature, children should be protected from books that adversely affect their souls. This, according to N.E. Pestov, there is the next special moment in protecting children from the temptations of this world.

For young children, fairy tales are the best reading. But there are many fairy tales and stories where the author brings out demons in a playful tone. The devil and his dark hordes, recalls Pestov, are the enemies of man, according to the Lord Himself (Matt. 13:28), and therefore one cannot draw them to children as stupid or ridiculous creatures. With the right spiritual attitude, a Christian should always be vigilant against his enemy and not be deceived in relation to his strength, malice, deceit. The Monk Seraphim of Sarov said that if the grace of God did not protect people, then with one fingernail Satan would sweep all mankind off the face of the earth.

Instilling a disdainful attitude towards the dark force from childhood dulls our vigilance in the future. In addition, one cannot approve of the pronunciation of an ungodly name. But at the same time, young children should not draw demons in the true light, as this will frighten them and make them shy. For young children, there should be no dark side of life at all. When they grow up, it is reasonable to acquaint children with the true nature of the dark forces and ways of dealing with them, using the descriptions of the experience of saints and ascetics.

Children should be protected from reading books of a blasphemous nature, theomachy, immoral, sowing unclean thoughts. Any book written by an atheist bears the imprint of the godless worldview of its author and to some extent encourages the reader to look at the world through his eyes.

For example, N.E. Pestov cites the writings of Mark Twain, who is considered a children's classic. In the works "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" Mark Twain draws images of an anti-Christian character, in which the decay of sin is covered with the mask of valor. For his heroes there is no God. The main features of their behavior towards elders are disobedience and deceit. Boys smoke, steal, get into fights - and the author elevates all this to valor.

It is necessary, as Pestov believed, to save children from the addictions of the world. "No one can serve two masters: for either he will hate one and love the other; or he will be zealous for one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon" (Matthew 6:24). So the Lord warns us.

Our children can become infected with addiction to earthly goods from us if we are not free from this vice. Collecting material values ​​under any pretext is a violation of the commandments of the Lord.

Not only material values, but also the achievements of science and the progress of technology can become an addiction. The path leading to the main goal of a Christian's life lies not through secular science. It can be reached only by acquiring the Holy Spirit. It is necessary to see to it that studies in science do not capture all the attention and all the time of our children, but that Sundays and holidays are sacredly observed in them with the obligatory attendance of worship. Let the morning and evening minutes set aside for prayers remain untouched for worldly pursuits.

And whatever the child is fond of - science, technology, art - parents should carefully monitor the importance the child attaches to these activities. One should be afraid that something will not become an idol for children and would alienate them from God, stifling the growth of spiritual life. This is a sign of a spiritual disease that needs to be fought. This is a sign of an unhealthy atmosphere surrounding children.

Communication between God and the human soul takes place only in conditions of silence, peace, deep calmness and concentration. It should, on the advice of Pestov, protect children from entertainment that violates peace and inner peace, and try to raise children in solitude and silence. If parents have a choice between the city and the countryside, the village should be chosen. There are fewer temptations, entertainment and fuss. There it is easier to create a quiet, laboring life for children, it is easier to instill a taste for a good book, to become akin to nature, to accustom them to unabashed prayer. There is more time to think about God and Eternity.

It is much more difficult to raise children in a city with its inherent entertainment. You can not forbid them all entertainment. You can allow them to go to the cinema or the theater, but you should not encourage them to do so yourself. Of course, parents should choose the most suitable plays and films, such as historical or scientific ones. The same should be done with dancing. It should not be forbidden if the children really want it, but it should not be encouraged either.

With regard to entertainment, parents themselves should set an example of a quiet, concentrated life dedicated to selfless service to others, a life in the fear of God, a life in God and with God. And if it is impossible to completely eliminate children from the temptations of the world, then let parents be afraid to push them to entertainment themselves, remembering the words of the Lord: “Woe to the world from temptations, for temptations must come, but woe to that person through whom the temptation comes” (Matt. 18, 7).

Christian upbringing of children consists in educating the future generation on Christian principles and faith. The traditions of Orthodoxy and Orthodox upbringing of children are also based on common Christian dogmas and rules: love and help to one's neighbor, forgiveness, piety and humility.

The rite of baptism of a child and the role of godparents
Acquaintance of the child with God and the church in the Christian tradition occurs after the first days of the baby's birth. The sacrament of baptism is a ritual that entrusts the child to God and determines the spiritual mentors of the child - the godparents. Now the traditions of baptism and attitudes towards them have changed somewhat. Previously, the issue of baptizing a child was treated with all responsibility and seriousness. The godmother and father were supposed to become not just family members, but the spiritual guides of the baby.

Fundamentals of Christian Parenting
The idea of ​​Christian upbringing of children is based on the work on the spiritual improvement of the child and his parents. It is important not only to convey to the child the concept of God, but to cultivate in him the criteria for good and evil, which he will use as guidelines in his actions and actions.

One of the main tools of the Orthodox upbringing of children is regular church attendance, participation in divine services and the Sacraments. However, it is also important to create a Christian atmosphere within the family walls through joint prayer, reading the holy letter, observing Christian traditions and rituals.

Christian Parenting Ideas
1. Building the correct hierarchy of values ​​in the mind of the child - the spiritual is higher than the material.
2. Discipline and daily routine for the child (regime), which includes sufficient time for secular education, church and active leisure with physical activity (including housework).
3. Attendance at church services and participation in the sacraments.
4. Prayer, including family prayer, as part of family tradition and habitual way of life.

Church holidays and traditions in the process of Orthodox education of children
Of great importance in the process of Orthodox upbringing of children are Christian holidays and the traditions that are associated with them. For example, it is difficult for a child to grasp the essence of the feast of the Resurrection of Christ, since the issues of life and death are still inaccessible to children's understanding and perception. But the tradition on Easter day to bake Easter cakes, paint eggs and bless them early in the morning in the church, having defended the service before this, is close to the baby, for whom the sacred meaning of the holiday is combined with a general positive atmosphere, traditional festivities and celebrations on this day.

Prayer
The main way to communicate with God in the Christian worldview is prayer. In prayer, people call on the Almighty, ask him for something, thank him, etc. In addition to the main Christian prayers, there are a whole lot, including children's. Confessors recommend praying both with the child (family prayer) and for the child, asking God for well-being and health for the baby. Traditionally, a prayer is said at the table (before eating), before doing important work, before a trip or travel. They often pray before going to bed, asking God for forgiveness for their sins.