What to tell a girl on a date. Worst or weirdest date

It is difficult to underestimate the importance of the question “what to talk about on the first date?” After all, it is this meeting that will become the foundation of future relationships, and a correctly constructed line of behavior is the key to success. Therefore, when going on a first date, it is important to think through not only your image, but also which topics should be touched upon and which should be avoided. This applies to both males and females, because if a meeting is scheduled, both want it. This means that you need to make some efforts so that the first date does not become the last.

Choosing the right place

Before deciding what to talk about on a first date, it's worth considering where to take it. If you have just met, the guy should suggest a meeting place and find out the girl’s opinion about his choice. If you have known each other for a long time (studied together or work), then you should know each other’s approximate preferences.

A cozy cafe with pleasant music will be a win-win option. Why is it worth stopping at it?

If you choose a walking option for a meeting, this may cause some discomfort, because it is difficult to look at each other while walking side by side. In addition, the first meeting presupposes a certain excitement, and during the walk there will simply be nowhere to put your hands.
If you choose a movie, the question of what to say on the first date simply disappears, because you will not have the opportunity to hear each other.
When choosing a bowling alley, skating rink, or other similar place, you can put the invited party in an awkward position, because it may be that she simply does not know how to play or skate.

When choosing other more unusual places for a first date, the result will be unpredictable. You can make a lasting impression on the invited party, or you can simply scare her and lose all chances of continuing the relationship. Therefore, for the first time, it is better to choose a cozy cafe that you have been to more than once. Here you can chat calmly, looking into each other's eyes. In addition, the mysterious twilight and pleasant music will help create a certain atmosphere.

How to start a conversation

The conversation can begin by discussing common interests. Lightness and ease are the main parameters of a first date. If you are a girl, give leadership to him when communicating with a man. Let him set the tone of the conversation, and your task is to support it by smoothly introducing topics of interest. Avoid questioning like “what movies/music/books do you like?” It’s better to discuss interesting new products, gradually finding common ground and getting to know each other. At the same time, it is very important not to criticize his/her tastes.

You can also talk in general terms about your studies/work/family, and recall funny situations from life. The main thing is that every phrase spoken does not spoil the impression of you, but, on the contrary, improves it. At the same time, it is important not to exaggerate anything, and especially not to lie. Just avoid talking about situations in which you are not at your best; there will be time for such topics. And funny stories from life will just help you appreciate each other’s sense of humor. After all, this quality is far from the last in the matter of partner compatibility.

What can be discussed

Having established the first contact and feeling that communication is going at ease, you can move on to more serious topics and talk, for example, about love. Of course, when deciding what to talk about with a girl on the first date, a guy shouldn’t talk about his exes, much less complain about them.

A girl shouldn't do this either. But it’s quite possible to talk about your ideas about the role of a woman/man in a relationship, options for spending time together, and general ideas about gender relations. This will allow you not only to get to know each other better, but also to understand how your views on these things coincide.

You can also carefully discuss plans for the future, but not in the context of a relationship. For example, on the first date you can tell a girl that she is going to get a license or improve her qualifications. It is very undesirable to mention that she plans to get married or have children in the near future. After such a statement, most likely, you can forget about future meetings.

What to ask a girl on a first date

If you have decided to seriously prepare for your first meeting and are wondering what to talk about with your guy on the first date, you can make a rough list of questions. They should be chosen so that they help not only to get to know the person, but also to understand how compatible you are.

Here are sample blocks of questions that can be asked at the first meeting.

To find out about his hobbies and tastes:

How do you spend your free time?
when and where was your last vacation? Describe your ideal vacation;
What can you eat even if you’re not hungry at all, and what can you never put in your mouth?
What can you talk about endlessly?

To find out about work and life goals:

What do you think is the most important thing in life?
Why do you love your job?
what did you want to become as a child?

To find out his preferences:

where is your favorite place in the city?
What will definitely cheer you up?
tell us about your most pleasant memory?
describe your ideal day.

The list of questions can be endless. The main thing is that the guy feels that he is interesting to his interlocutor, and does not feel like he is being interrogated. If a girl behaves reservedly and modestly with a man on the first date, this will be her plus.

What to ask a guy on a first date

A man, being a leader, must set the tone for the entire evening. Therefore, it is very important that he is able to get his interlocutor to talk, learning as much as possible about her. To do this, you should think in advance about what to talk about with a girl on the first date and what questions you can ask her and which ones you should avoid. In addition to endless compliments, it is important to show your interest in her as a person.

To find out if she has a sense of humor:

what words did you distort as a child?
Do you think food in the refrigerator tastes better at night?
tell your favorite joke;
What are your favorite comedies?

To find out her opinion about yourself:

Looking at your reflection, what do you see other than yourself?
What do you like most about yourself?
what is your strongest trait?
What would you like to change about yourself?

Of course, every girl wants to talk about love. Communicating on this topic is certainly difficult. But by asking the right questions, you can find out the lady’s attitude towards her:

How do you cut people out of your life?
did it happen that you and your best friend liked the same guy?
Do you like animals?
How would you feel if your boyfriend spent his last money on a bouquet?

The list can be very long. The main thing is to try to structure the conversation in such a way that the interlocutor feels comfortable.

Thus, questions on a first date can be very diverse. If you sincerely want to get to know your interlocutor, this will be visible and your interest will be pleasant. If you avoid gross mistakes and build a conversation, carefully watching your other half and trying to guess what exactly she/he is interested in, you can be sure that the second date will come very quickly.

I'm 17 years old, I've never had a girlfriend. This was the second date in my entire life. From the very first minutes I began to panic; I could not come up with a single worthwhile question or tell an interesting story. As a result, I became even more nervous and began to very briefly answer her standard questions like “how are you?”, “How was your day?” etc. The answers to these questions could have made a start and made the conversation much more interesting, but this did not happen either. After reading your articles, I realized that the date was even worse than I thought: we only walked for 1.5 hours, she constantly looked at her watch, and there was often an “awkward pause.” Teach me how to find the right approach to a girl? Since I still hope for a second date with her.

First of all, Nikita, don’t be upset and don’t reproach yourself for the mistakes you made. It would be one thing if every time a gentleman started being stupid on a date, somewhere on the other side of the planet a panda cub died in terrible agony. Then yes, undoubtedly, there would be something to be depressed about. But the world is not so bloodthirsty at all. And, no matter how foolishly you behaved, nothing irreparable or fatal happened that evening, I’m sure.

Secondly, nothing makes a man more beautiful than the ability to admit that, due to circumstances, he was not up to par. So it will be a solid plus for your karma to write something like this as an approach to the second date: “I like you, so I was a little nervous. The second attempt, I promise, will be more successful :)” The girl - unless, of course, she is an insensitive reptile (and for now I strongly do not recommend hanging out with such people) - in theory, should be touched and flattered.

Thirdly, conversations between people you don’t know well are a damn tiresome genre. Ease and artistry here comes with practice. But from my own experience I can say that the easiest conversation develops if the gentleman makes a bet and talks about what he is sincerely interested in and likes, or asks the interlocutor about herself and her hobbies. Think about what role you feel most comfortable in, and sketch out, at least mentally, the main points of your monologue/approximate list of questions. Or organize your next meeting so that talking is not its central element. Going to the cinema or some unusual exhibition will save you from having to carry out all the communication alone. In addition, after that it will be quite logical to discuss everything you saw - well, then Google will help you in order to surprise your companion with your iq and breadth of outlook.

The first meeting with a woman he likes often has a certain stressful connotation for a man. For him, this is an opportunity and a chance to charm a girl, win her over, and interest her in further communication. It is especially difficult for taciturn people who find it difficult to immediately begin to freely communicate with a stranger and feel at ease.

The most important thing is to start a conversation, and in this the initiative should come from the man, since a girl can also be shy, thinking about how she looks, whether she has chosen a good manicure and accessories, whether she has overdone it with makeup and whether the man likes her in general.

And for a date, as a decisive event in life (what if she’s the one?), you should prepare thoroughly:

You need to find a place where both will be comfortable. You can choose a cozy cafe or park for a walk, where no one will disturb the conversation.
Arrive on time, even a little earlier, so as not to keep the lady waiting. It is unlikely that you can impress the girl you like by being late for the first meeting.
Well, the main thing is to choose topics for conversation with a girl on the first date. In a dialogue between people who know little about each other, pauses will arise one way or another. To prevent awkward silence from dragging on for long, you need to prepare a small list of questions that you can discuss with your companion. However, you should not overdo it - you should not interview her according to this list. It is important to show your own interest and not be afraid to show emotions.

So, what to talk about with a girl on a date.

Hobbies, interests

This is perhaps the most universal topic for communication. You can ask what the girl is interested in in her free time, how she prefers to spend her leisure time. It is important to try to find common topics and questions; this will bring you a little closer and relieve tension, and will also allow you to learn more about each other and plan further meetings taking into account common interests.

Great hobby conversation topics:

The favorite music;
movie;
leisure;
sport;
books.

Try to find out as much as possible about her, show interest, share your hobbies - this way you will show yourself as a pleasant and interesting interlocutor and will probably find a lot in common.

Trips

This is a rather emotional topic, and by expressing your emotions it will be easier to establish contact and please your partner. Women, as you know, love romantics, and even if a man does not consider himself one, then thanks to this topic he will receive an additional “plus” to the positive assessment from the girl. Discussing travel will help you find additional common ground and common interests.

Childhood

This is one of the easiest and most fun topics that will be useful for communication and can defuse the situation.

You can talk about what games you liked to play as a child, how you went to your grandparents’ dacha, what funny stories happened to you, how your school years were, how you learned to swim, ride a bike and how many times you fell from it, how fell in love for the first time in kindergarten and how much you disliked milk with foam in the school canteen.

All this will help you get closer and have fun from the heart.

Work, study, family

Work, study, family - that is, what makes up everyday life. Talking about this is not at all trivial, as it might seem. This way you can demonstrate to the girl that you are interested in her life.

Favorite dishes

You can ask what cuisine your interlocutor prefers, what drinks and dishes she likes. With this information, you can learn a little more about each other and plan a further joint cultural program: go to a pizzeria or enjoy sushi, or go to a coffee shop and drink hot chocolate with her favorite cakes.

If you know how to cook, do not hesitate to tell your interlocutor about it - for a woman, a man who knows how to cook well looks even more interesting and courageous.

Life goals and dreams

Quite an interesting question in which you can show your own seriousness and perspective, as well as learn about the life priorities of your interlocutor.

Relationships and personal life

Naturally, you don’t need to start the conversation with this, but the topic of relationships is very important. When the first awkwardness and stiffness is behind you, both have relaxed and talked about some topics, you can talk about it.

On the first date, you shouldn’t ask a girl about her previous relationships, this can bring up unpleasant memories, she will become withdrawn, and the evening will be ruined.

You can discuss what traits she likes and doesn’t like in people, how you both see good relationships with a future, family values. If your communication at this stage is fun and relaxed, you can discuss topics related to sex, but unobtrusively, in a humorous manner.

Jokes

A funny story, told to the point, will help defuse the situation and set the mood for a positive continuation of communication, filling an unexpected pause. However, you can go overboard with this, so it is important to measure jokes and “dilute” communication with them unobtrusively and on topic.

You already know what to talk about on a date. However, this is only part of the success. The general atmosphere and mood that you set for this meeting are also important. There are several aspects of behavior and manner of communication that will help you make a good impression of yourself and have a good time:

Positive attitude, friendliness. Even if your interlocutor is worried or shy, your positivity and openness will help her tune in to this wave, relax, and open up for communication.
Show emotions, share impressions, experiences, thoughts, be open and lively.
Originality. It can manifest itself in very insignificant details, but the subtle female nature is sensitive to such things and will certainly appreciate originality. It is important to give compliments thoughtfully and non-trivially.
Interest and sincerity. It’s good if you ask questions that require extensive answers, perhaps even discussions, encouraging your interlocutor to express an opinion, share thoughts and impressions.
Be interesting - offer topics for discussion, options for spending leisure time, but avoid intrusiveness.
“Lead” the conversation, try to fill the pauses, and avoid awkward silence.
Be yourself, do not deceive your interlocutor by attributing to yourself some heroic qualities or actions, successes and achievements that do not exist. A lie can be revealed quite quickly and unexpectedly, and women, as a rule, do not forgive deception, especially if the relationship begins with it.
Don't be afraid to improvise. It is impossible to prepare for everything, no matter how thorough the preparation. Therefore, be prepared to show originality and attentiveness in any unforeseen situation.
Be a gentleman - it always decorates.

What you can't talk about

There are also topics that should not be discussed on the first date. Even if there is mutual interest, they can ruin the entire impression of communication and discourage the girl from any desire to communicate with you further:

Try to avoid the topic of religion at first; this is a rather personal and serious ideological issue.
Don't ask about her past relationships and don't talk about yours.
Don't brag about your earnings or complain about not earning enough.
Don't discuss your relatives or friends with her.

By following these simple recommendations, you can easily interest the girl you like, incite her to continue dating and build further relationships. The main thing is to let her feel your interest, care, show your best qualities and be sincere.

If you have mutual friends, you can start by talking about them. If not, start filling in the gaps: ask and tell yourself about brothers and sisters, hobbies, pets, favorite travel routes.

Go through topics until you find something you have in common with your interlocutor. Discussing a mutual love for surfing or Chuck Palahniuk novels is one of the easiest ways to find mutual understanding.

Worst or weirdest date

Talking about exes to a potential replacement isn't the best choice, but asking about your worst or weirdest date often yields surprising answers. For example, your date may remember a funny story about how he or she made a date with one person, and a completely different person showed up, due to confusion with the same name. I had to sit through the ill-fated hour to the end, cursing my own absent-mindedness.

Childhood fears

Were you terribly afraid of anything as a child? Someone was afraid of mosquitoes and could not sleep, imagining their ominous “zzzz” above his ear. Someone imagined wolves with scary eyes in the closet - they were about to jump out and pounce to eat. And some were horrified by pushpins (yes, buttons!).

A topic like this will help spark a fun conversation. In general, it’s pleasant to remember childhood and youth. Favorite toys, TV series, collections, and so on.

Secret talent

Maybe you can sing wonderfully in the style of Tyrolean yodeling, and your interlocutor is a pro in deep sea diving. We all like to talk about situations in which we rose to the occasion. Maybe you can juggle? Or hula hoop for hours?

Usually we don't have a reason to talk about such things, but on a date this topic will bring pleasure to both of us and help us get closer.

Giant food

If you were trapped inside a giant food and the only way to get out was to eat your way to freedom, what food or dish would you choose? Yes, in essence, this is the same as asking: “What do you like to eat most?”, but it sounds much more interesting and funnier. Cheddar cheese? Peaches? Chocolate mousse?

“Have you read anything good lately?” Whether it's a comic book novel, a magazine article, or an interview with a favorite actor, our reading choices say a lot about us, and it's a great way to learn more about the person we're talking to, their tastes, preferences, and beliefs.

Finally, if in the midst of a conversation you find yourself in a “pause of silence,” take it calmly, because silence should also have a place in a conversation.

“It’s so nice when you can just sit next to someone and not have to talk” - this phrase from Nora Ephron’s romantic comedy “When Harry Met Sally” fits perfectly. Remember, the more at ease you feel, the more pleasant it will be for others to be in your company.

And a simple reminder to yourself helps to achieve ease: either a person likes us or not. That is, little things on which we usually spend a huge amount of nervous energy - is my hair beautifully styled? Will the movie I bought tickets for be boring? Why does my voice tremble so disgustingly? - don't really matter.

If you like us, then we are what we are. If not, no little things will help.

Many guys don't always know what to talk about with a girl. Psychologists say that the art of communication can be learned. The main thing is to know how to speak, what you can talk about, and which topics are best avoided. The article will discuss how to overcome shyness and learn to talk with the opposite sex. Here are some interesting examples of conversation topics that will help out in any situation. So, what to talk about with a girl, and what is it better to remain silent about in order to arouse her sympathy? But before we talk about the topics of conversations, we need to figure out how best to do this. How to behave correctly with the opposite sex?

Proper communication with a girl

Representatives of the fairer sex evaluate guys not only by their clothes and attractive, neat and well-groomed appearance, but also by their manner of communication. Below are tips, tricks and ideas on what to talk to a girl about and how to communicate correctly to interest her.

Courtesy. If a girl doesn’t want to communicate, you shouldn’t impose yourself.
Politeness. When meeting and on a first date, you should maintain a certain distance; in addition, you do not need to immediately switch to “you” and become familiar.
Listening skills. This is one of the main rules when communicating with people, especially girls.
Smile. She does a miracle. Even if a girl is very busy and in a hurry somewhere, she will respond with a smile, therefore the likelihood of meeting her doubles.
Honesty. In any situation, you need to remain yourself, not invent non-existent traits and virtues.

when communicating

Many people think that first contact begins with a conversation. Scientists have proven that the first acquaintance between a woman and a man begins with a glance. The most basic knowledge of body language will never allow you to make mistakes when meeting a girl. What to pay attention to:

Facial expressions. If it is casual and easy, then this is a signal to action. The girl is quite willing to meet people and communicate.
Hair. If she plays with the ends of her hair, it means she is trying to attract attention, flirting and making advances.
Sight. If the interlocutor is interested, then her gaze lingers on the object of sympathy for about 5 seconds.
Items. If a woman “plays” with objects and jewelry, this means that she is interested in the interlocutor.

There is a lot of information on the Internet about body language and its meaning. Before going on a date, it is better to prepare thoroughly on this issue.

What should the speech be like?

In order to interest a girl, you don’t need to be a speaker. But you should develop such qualities as:

There is a joke that men get married only because they don’t want to relive the horror of a first date. As you know, every joke has some truth. First dates often turn into sheer torture, because not every guy knows what to talk about on a date with a girl. And if she is also a stranger, then the meeting generally takes the form of an interview (a regular questionnaire). Here are some tips on how to avoid this:

talk about what a girl might be interested in, and not about what you know best and what you are best versed in;
it is necessary to look for common topics for conversation;
listen to her answers and respond to them;
do not chat incessantly, but also try not to reduce the conversation to monosyllabic answers: “yes” and “no”;
smile even if you are very nervous;
think through a couple of witty jokes in advance;
avoid awkward pauses;
dont lie;
do not engage in self-promotion;
don't brag.

What to talk about with a stranger?

It is very difficult for guys to decide to approach a girl and talk to her. But this is exactly how most acquaintances happen, which then lead to strong relationships and even marriage. To talk to someone you don’t know well, a girl should:

believe in yourself;
set yourself up for success;
figure out what to talk to her about;
smile;
cast aside doubts.

The very first conversation should interest the girl. But when meeting? The advice is simple: it is best to openly admit your sympathy and invite her somewhere. Then refer to being busy and leave. This will create intrigue and arouse interest.

How to interest a girl on the street?

The street and any open space are the most difficult places to get acquainted. How to get acquainted in such a situation? How to properly arrange a meeting with a girl? How to behave?

From the very beginning, you don’t need to make a huge mistake - don’t block her path, don’t approach her from behind. It is better to approach a little from the side so as not to scare the girl.

If you have a neat appearance, clean shoes, well-groomed hands, neat nails, a fashionable haircut, then your chances increase.

Get her interested. It is best to ask where an object is and how to get to it. The most win-win option is if a girl needs help, the provision of which and subsequent acquaintance will look natural. And this is a rather original way of getting to know each other, instead of the banal stable forms: “What is your name?” or “Can I meet you?”

What to talk about on the first date?

So, they managed to ask her out on a date. What to talk about with a girl at the first meeting when there are no common interests?

The first thing to do is to find common topics: movies, music, books, hobbies. You should offer all options carefully and monitor the girl’s reaction. If she perked up, then you can safely continue this topic. If she answers questions in monosyllables, practically yawning from boredom, you should immediately change the subject of conversation. And you should also remember that on the first date you need to learn as much as possible about each other. It’s better to start with yourself, tell her about your age, occupation, parents, hobbies and plans for the future.

On the first date, you need to give the girl the opportunity to also talk about herself; you shouldn’t talk all the time and praise yourself.

What can you talk about with a girl online?

Many guys are embarrassed to approach a girl, in addition, about 75% of the fair sex categorically refuse to meet people on the street. And this is where dating sites and social networks come to the rescue. They are very comfortable and help overcome the difficult barrier of tightness.

Communication on the Internet often develops into virtual friendship, then into telephone conversations and a date. But in order to implement just such a scenario, you need to be able to ask the right and necessary questions. What to talk about with a girl on the Internet? How to conduct a dialogue? It is necessary to follow the advice of experienced online users:

Study her profile or profile. Even before you meet, you can find out a lot of information about a girl from these sources, which makes life much easier.
Then act according to the circumstances, if she loves animals, then you can start the conversation with this topic.
Immediately after the first conversation you need to compliment her. On the Internet it is very easy, and not only with the help of words.
If suddenly you don’t like each other, it’s easier to refuse on the Internet than in live communication. There is no need to be afraid of refusals, because any communication, even unsuccessful ones, is an experience, only in this way can you learn to communicate correctly with each other.

Talking on the phone

Usually the next stage in the development of relationships is a conversation on the phone. And then the guy immediately faces very difficult questions: what to talk about for the first time with a girl on the phone, where to find the courage to call, how to talk.

The most important thing is to have the courage to make the call first. And after the greeting, you just need to continue the conversation from the point where you left off during the correspondence on the Internet. You can show concern, for example, by asking how she got home after work (school).

There are no special topics for communication over the phone. You can discuss something new that happened while you weren't texting. Perhaps the girl herself will ask questions that interest her, and then you can switch to the topic that she suggested.

The main thing is to listen to your interlocutor and insert your emotional comments during the conversation. At the end of the conversation, you should say how much you liked talking to her, give a compliment on how pleasant her voice is.

12 best themes

When talking to a girl, it is very important to choose the right and interesting topic. If you start a conversation about something unpleasant or not entirely interesting for her, then you can put an end to your relationship with this lady.

Here is a list of the best topics to talk about with a girl on a date:

music;
trips;
books;
movie;
hobby;
philosophy (if the girl is an intellectual);
future plans;
Job;
art;
Pets;
family;
food (favorite drinks, dishes).

If one topic begins to fade, you need to smoothly move on to another so that there are no awkward pauses in the conversation.

If the traditional set of conversation ideas is not suitable, you can try “masculine” discussion items:

fishing;
sport;
collecting;
cars;
computer games.

You need to try and experiment, who knows, maybe a girl is interested in these very aspects of life.

What not to talk about

There are some topics that are best not discussed with a girl, especially on the first date. So, you shouldn't talk to her about:

ex-girlfriends (the worst option is to complain about them);
failures;
health problems;
intimate things;
sex;
politics;
religion;
nationality;
weight loss and dieting.

There are not so many taboo topics. You just need to follow the advice on how and what to talk to a girl about, and also know what is best not to talk about so as not to turn her against you. The main thing in communicating with any person is the ability to listen and hear. If there is even the slightest sign of boredom on her face, you need to quickly change the subject.

If there are no topics for conversation

What to talk about when there is nothing to measure against, nothing to talk about? If you really like a girl, but she doesn’t make contact or engage in conversation, you need to make her laugh. You can pretend to be a joker and do whatever comes into your head. The main thing is that she smiles, and best of all, laughs. You can tell a funny story from your life or a joke prepared in advance. But there is a rule - do not overdo it, so that she does not form the wrong opinion.

If jokes don’t help, there are three completely win-win topics: animals, children and travel. Try to touch them carefully and test the soil. If the girl is interested, feel free to continue the conversation.

Exercises and training

The best way to develop self-confidence is to talk through options for conversations with a girl in front of the mirror. As a training exercise, you can come up with 5-6 sentences for each topic of conversation listed above.

Watch how other guys get to know each other; look at how they behave and what they talk about with the girl. Such training will teach you how to communicate correctly with the opposite sex, and will smooth out the feeling of awkwardness and shyness.

And the most important thing is to always and under any circumstances remain yourself. If there is no sympathy, then do not despair, there will definitely be someone who will appreciate you. With it you will feel comfortable both during a conversation and in complete silence.