Children's fears: a serious deviation or an age feature? Age-related features of experiencing fear The causes of age-related fears in children can be

It is difficult to meet a person who would never be afraid of anything. Fear is an innate human emotion that manifests itself in. At first, the child is afraid of losing his mother for about 6 months, and when she disappears, he begins to cry or worry. Later, at 7-8 months, there is a fear of loneliness. At an early age, about 2 years, the fear of separation is added to the existing fears, which is aggravated if the child goes to kindergarten. Breaking up with mom at this time is an overwhelming test for the baby's psyche.

In childhood, a person experiences many fears, many of which disappear with age. But the fears that are reinforced by the wrong upbringing of the child sometimes persist for life. And the older the person, the more difficult it will be for him to get rid of fears. Therefore, it is very important to try to help the child, to teach him to deal with fears, to overcome them.

There can be many reasons for fear. Firstly, there are age-related fears, and secondly, the parents themselves become the cause of fears in children. The fears themselves are also the most, sometimes unpredictable.

There are children who are more prone to fear. It is enough for such a child to say once: “Do not go there - you will fall, drown, the evil uncle will take it, etc.”- so that the child clings to the mother and does not let her go. For another child, such words mean nothing and do not affect his behavior and emotional state. It depends on the characteristics of the nervous system of the child.

Age fears.

Typically, children experience different types of fears at different ages. That is, each age has its own “set” of fears.

From birth to 6 months children are afraid of any loud and unexpected sounds, sudden movements on the part of an adult, loss of support and support (for example, falling).

From 6-7 months to 1 year the fear of certain loud sounds prevails (for example, the noise of a vacuum cleaner), fear of strangers, fear of undressing, changing clothes and change of scenery, fear of heights.

From 1 to 2 years, the emotional life of a child is determined by the fear of separation from parents, fear of strangers, fear of doctors, fear of falling asleep. injury.

By the end of the 2nd - the beginning of the 3rd year fears such as rejection by parents appear in life. unfamiliar peers, fairy-tale characters, natural phenomena (thunderstorm, lightning, etc.), fear of loneliness and fear of the dark.

From the second year life, when the child becomes especially active and the first prohibitions appear, the fear of punishment from the parents grows. At the same time, there is a fear of animals and a fear of separation from the mother. The fear of separation and the fear of being alone are more characteristic of the family.

For preschool age Three vivid fears are characteristic: loneliness, darkness and closed space. The reason for the closed space can also be the prohibitions of adults, which form in the mind of the baby a kind of closed psychological space around him.

From 6 to 7 years old children most often fear the loss of their parents, physical abuse, and death. The fear of death is central to the thoughts and fantasies of children in their seventh year of life. The fears of animals, fairy-tale characters, and movie characters are also intensifying. The change in the nature of fears is associated with the development of new forms of thinking and the general development of the child's psyche: children are afraid of something that cannot really bring harm, but at the same time they ignore the real threat.

Age fears are natural and transient. Usually age fears exist within 3-4 weeks after the onset. If during this time the intensity of fear increases, then we are talking about fear. As a rule, in a fearful child, one can find not one, but a whole complex of fears, which can sometimes be difficult to identify. It is important to pay attention to the behavior of the child. If fears are associated with a certain situation, do not violate the quality of the child’s communication with others, then it is enough to behave calmly with the child, patiently wait for the fears to outlive themselves as they grow up. But if a child becomes timid, timid, startled by any rustle, avoids communicating with peers, if he starts panic attacks (inadequate emotional state), then it is necessary to work with fears. And it is better if this work is carried out by a psychologist.

When we deal with children's fears, we must keep in mind that the child lives in the present moment. His emotions change quickly enough, but at the same time they are very deep. The loss of a favorite toy or drawing in kindergarten can be a real tragedy for him.

Another story from I. B. Shirokova.

A fragile, receptive, sensitive, anxious girl of 4.5 years old, at the sight of painted flowers, closes her eyes with her hands and begins to sigh heavily. Mom at first thought that the girl was just scared of pictures in books. A lot of time passed before my mother's observations took shape in a clear picture: the girl does not want to see flowers in books, and precisely painted ones. Photos and fresh flowers are considered with pleasure.

In the work of a psychologist with a girl, it turns out that in kindergarten, children on March 8 prepared an application for their mothers and grandmothers - a postcard with a bouquet of flowers. The girl tried very hard to make her flowers beautiful. But the teacher did not have time to sign some of the works, as a result of which they got mixed up. When it came time to give gifts, the girl was forced to congratulate her mother and grandmother on other people's crooked and ugly flowers from her point of view. The girl, according to the recollections of her grandmother, made a scandal at the holiday. She sobbed and screamed:
“I didn’t do this, these are not my flowers, granny loves bluebells, where are my bluebells?”

She tried to take away her beautiful tulips from someone's mother. She begged her grandmother not to take applications with her name on them. All the way home, the girl cried that her mother and grandmother were left without her gift. She, without undressing, ran to her table with pencils and albums to urgently draw tulips and bells as a gift for her mother. I drew and hid it for a surprise. And in the evening I could not find where I hid it ...

If the child finds ways to respond to his feelings, then fears come and go in accordance with the characteristics of age. If not, the child “acquires” fears, which begin to control his behavior. To help a child, you need to see the fears that torment him through his eyes, and not through the eyes of an adult. It is impossible to forbid him to be afraid, even more so to scold and punish him for it. Fear cannot be ignored, you need to understand its occurrence. But it is also pointless to protect the child from all dangers.

As a rule, fears come and go with age, without intensifying and not lingering, if adults, in this case parents, are confident in themselves, and the family has a calm and stable environment. A child who feels the love of adults, confident that he will receive support at the right time, quickly outgrows his fears.

How to determine the presence of fears in a child?

Usually a fearful child differs from other children in behavior and character. He is tense, anxious, timid, unsure of himself, and may show concern over the smallest of things. Sometimes children talk about their fears directly or indirectly - in the game. But more often the child simply tries to avoid situations that hurt him. For example, if a child is afraid of any fairy-tale characters, he will demand to turn off the cartoon, not to read a book where frightening characters are found.

Those fears that were present in the parents themselves in childhood are best defined. Emotionally sensitive parents easily recognize them in their child. Such fears, "transmitted by inheritance", include: fear of darkness, heights, depths, fear of losing loved ones, fear of punishment, fear of doctors. It is also believed that mothers are dominated by social fears, for example, doing something wrong or not being able to do something, while fathers are more likely to have a fear of heights.

There is no child in the world who would not be afraid of anything, even babies up to a year old are subject to fear. According to psychologists, children's fears and nightmares are normal at the stages of development and socialization of a child, so parents do not need to worry if their child suddenly becomes afraid to enter a dark room or refuses to read a fairy tale about a monster.

Do not forget that any fear sooner or later can develop into a pathology. To prevent this, parents should know the main points related to childhood phobias, namely: what they are, what can cause them to occur, and how to help the baby cope with such a problem.

In itself, the presence of fears is not a pathology and is characteristic of every child. The reason is the infinitely rich fantasy of the baby. So that fears do not become phobias and do not manifest themselves in an adult conscious age, you need to take a closer look at them.

Why does the child begin to feel fear?

In the book of the professor and doctor of psychological sciences Zakharov Alexander Ivanovich "Day and night fears in children" it is said that while the child is still small, he is not able to build a chain of logical reasoning. As a result, the baby believes what the parents say, and completely transfers any of their reactions in a given situation to himself.

In playgrounds, you can often hear excited shouts: "Don't run so fast - you'll fall!", "Get out of there - you'll hit!", "Don't touch the dog - it will bite!" It is precisely such emotional and sometimes too harsh intimidation and warnings about possible danger from relatives that become the main cause of children's fears. The most interesting thing is that most often children are afraid not of what happened, but of an overly violent reaction to what is happening among people close and dear to him.

Some fears can be caused by the overprotective mother, who herself dictates a negative reaction to the child. In most cases, a child’s fear itself appears only after a personal negative experience (for example, an insect or dog bite)

Other Causes of Phobias in Children

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In addition to the influence of parents, there are other reasons that lead to the appearance of children's fear:

1. A specific incident that scared a child. For example, an animal bite, a painful injection in the doctor's office, an accident on the road, or an unfortunate fall from a bicycle. Of course, persistent fear does not appear in every child. Suspicious, insecure and shy children are more prone to the emergence of a phobia.
2. Children's imagination. All little dreamers are masters at inventing monsters in the closet or under the bed, ghosts, ghosts and other different monsters. However, some children after a while will not even remember the terrible fiction, and some will cry and become terribly afraid of being alone.
3. Emotionally unstable family environment. Constant scandals, quarrels, screams and lack of understanding between family members, as well as hyper-custody or lack of psychological support, negatively affect the baby’s condition, causing him an ongoing sense of anxiety, which in the future can develop into children’s fear.
4. Relationships among peers. If the baby is often humiliated, insulted and ridiculed in kindergarten or school, he may develop a social phobia. He will flatly refuse to go to classes or to a group.
5. neuroses. Fears in children that are unusual for their age or turn into pathology are neuroses (we recommend reading:). Only doctors can diagnose and treat such serious disorders.

To find out the cause of children's fear, you need to take a closer look at the child's close environment, objectively assess the situation within the family. Children are very sensitive and prone to exaggeration, so any quarrel for them can be a shock.

Varieties of children's fears

Currently, there are four main types of phobias in preschoolers, children 6-8 years old and older. Most experts in this field adhere to the classification of children's fears according to certain characteristics:

• object of fear;
• duration and intensity;
• features of the course of children's fear;
• the reasons that provoked the appearance.

Obsessive and delusional fears

Obsessive fears are directly related to the circumstances that led to their appearance, that is, such childhood fears arise in absolutely certain cases. For example, acrophobia is the fear of heights or claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.

The appearance of a delusional fear in a baby can be quite difficult to explain, and even more so to find out the reason why such a disorder arose. Delusional fears include the fear of wearing specific shoes, opening an umbrella, or even playing with a specific toy. However, parents whose toddler has a delusional fear problem should not immediately panic. It happens that the source of children's fear is on the surface. For example, a baby may be terribly afraid to put on a jacket, because one day, while zipping, he accidentally pinched his skin.

Crazy fears include the fear of heights or open space. Such phobias, however, may well pass along with the baby into adulthood.

Overvalued and nighttime fears in children

The most common fears in preschool children are overvalued fears. In almost 90% of cases out of 100, it is they who disturb the baby. Most often, children of preschool and primary school age are afraid of the dark, loneliness, death, fairy-tale characters and animals (more in the article:). Kids are absolutely sure that their fears are justified, sincerely believing that a terrible monster is hiding in a dark place or that it is not safe to be alone without parents. Gradually, such beliefs begin to dominate the mind of the crumbs and carry the status of an overvalued idea.

Night terrors got their name as a result of the fact that fearful states in a child appear at night during sleep. About 2-3% of children suffer from nightmares. Such nocturnal states are accompanied by throwing, screaming, groaning and crying. Sometimes a child can talk in a dream - for example, ask not to be touched, let him go or put something away. More often, the baby calls her mother to her, but at the same time she does not recognize her. Within a few minutes, the little one will calm down and continue to sleep, and in the morning he will not even remember about the night incident. In rare cases, against the background of night fears, the child has somnambulism.

Monsters or fabulous creatures that "visit" the child at night or in his fantasies are absolutely real for the baby's consciousness.

Age features of phobias in a child

In fact, the emergence of childhood fear is an integral and quite natural component of growing up. At a certain age, the presence of specific phobias is the norm - in this way the child is preparing to meet the real world. Below is a table in which children's fears are distributed according to the age of the baby.

Age limits for the manifestation of children's fear:

Child's age	What scares children
0-6 months	loud noises, such as falling chairs, jerky movements, mom not being around, or sudden changes in her mood
7 months - 1 year	loud continuous noises, such as the operation of a blender or the hum of a vacuum cleaner, unfamiliar strangers, unusual situations or a change in the usual environment
1-2 years	getting injured, because at this age the baby learns new motor skills, a long separation from mom or dad (it is better to postpone going to kindergarten)
2-3 years	alienation from close relatives on an emotional level, nightmares, natural phenomena - like thunder, thunder and lightning
3-5 years	death of one's own or parents, as a result of which children begin to fear everything that can lead to it: diseases, fires, accidents, snake bites
5-7 years	fairy-tale characters and fictional monsters, which leads to the fact that the child seeks not to be completely alone; school phobias associated with entering first grade
7-8 years old	being late for class, not doing homework, getting a bad grade or reprimand, rejection by peers, dark places, basements and attics, disasters
8-11 years old	academic and sports failures, criminals, drug addicts, drunk people, physical abuse severe illness
11-13 years old	the ability to look like a failure, ugly or stupid in the eyes of others, especially among their friends and peers, violence that is sexual in nature

Diagnosis of fears in children

Before dealing with phobias in children, they need to be properly diagnosed.

If you notice some nervousness, excessive capriciousness, sleep disturbance and the emergence of obsessive habits in the child’s behavior, seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. He will diagnose with the subsequent correction of the identified children's fear.

When children are still very young, they are not able to accurately describe and explain what exactly worries them. This is the main difficulty in the psychological diagnosis of children's fears. For high-quality diagnosis, the usual activities for kids are used:

1. Drawing. These can be drawings on a given or completely arbitrary topic. Analyzing the received pictures, experts pay attention to the location of the elements, the clarity of the lines, the shading and the color scheme that the kid used when drawing. An older child can already be asked to portray the fear being tested.
2. Inventing a fairy tale. A five-year-old baby can be asked to come up with a fairy tale about a favorite hero or his own end to a story that was interrupted at the most terrible place.
3. Intimate talk. Confidential conversation is relevant for a child older than 4 years. Find out if the child is afraid of any specific objects, phenomena, death, people, characters from a fairy tale, or if he has nightmares. During the conversation, do not focus on the moments that concern the child, let the conversation proceed in a calm atmosphere. Do not forget to morally support and positively set up the baby.

Drawings are successfully used to diagnose the mental state of a child. According to the color scheme, the location of the elements and their sizes, the specialist can easily find out what worries the baby.

How to help your child overcome fear

After identifying and diagnosing children's fear, the stage of treatment and correction begins with the help of specialists. In modern psychology, there is a wide variety of approaches and methods of how to deal with children's fears. They can be applied separately, sequentially or simultaneously. An important aspect of any therapy and correction is consistency with the wishes of the baby. If the little one does not like to draw, do not insist too much, much less force it.

Fairy tale therapy and game therapy

By reading fairy tales with your child, you thereby contribute to the knowledge of the structure of the world and help him understand his own feelings. The choice of a fairy tale directly depends on the nature of the problem. Try to read and present everything in such a way that throughout the fairy tale the baby feels strong and courageous. For fairy tale therapy, the stories of Nosov, Dragunsky, Anderson's fairy tales are perfect. The option of composing their own exciting story by the parents is also not ruled out.

The ideal way to overcome a phobia is to play out the situation or circumstances that traumatize the child's psyche. In a playful way, children are more relaxed, and children's fears are not so pronounced and easier to deal with. In addition to getting rid of fear, various staging and dramatization games can overcome isolation, shyness and self-doubt.

When listening to a fairy tale, the child is identified with the character and experiences his states, emotions. It is important to choose such stories that will help the baby to be a daredevil and a hero.

Isotherapy and sand therapy

This method originates at the stage of diagnosis, only now the child draws his fear, and the specialist makes his analysis. There are two great ways to end an isotherapy session:

1. Make the depicted monster or villain funny. For example, to draw a ridiculous hat to Baba Yaga or to hand over balloons to the bloodthirsty Barmaley.
2. Burn the drawing, explaining to the baby that along with the drawing, fear is also destroyed.

Using sand for drawing has a number of advantages over regular drawing:

• suitable even for children up to 7 years;
• in the process of sand therapy, the child opens up more and works out his own feelings and fears more effectively (see also:);
• plus, when working with sand, the crumbs improve memory and fine motor skills, and also relieve internal stress.

Drawing in the sand is a very deep therapy that helps the child to better connect with his feelings and further develops his fine motor skills, soothes

First of all, parents should know what not to do under any circumstances:

1. Punish the baby if he is afraid of something.
2. Laugh at the baby and accuse of pretense or stupidity.
3. Specially create conditions that provoke fear in order to overcome it. For example, if a child is afraid of dogs, force him to stroke them.
4. If possible, do not constantly watch only horror films or read scary stories.

What can parents do to save their child from childhood fear? The following tips may be helpful:

1. Sometimes you just need to listen to the baby and try to understand his feelings. Telling you about his experiences, the child will not only throw out the accumulated emotions, but also give you the opportunity to understand what are the reasons for his fear. The main thing is not to overdo it, asking the baby what and why he is afraid - this will only aggravate the situation. Direct questions should be avoided unless the child wants to. The best option is to take an observant position and ask only leading questions.
2. Be sure to say that you love and always, if necessary, stand up for the little one.
3. It will also be useful to find additional defenders in the form of a blanket, a flashlight or a figurine of your favorite hero.
4. Try to explain in an accessible way the real origin and essence of the phenomenon or object that causes fear in the baby.
5. Watch good cartoons and read books together. For example, the wonderful cartoon "Baby Raccoon" will show the baby that many scary monsters in reality turn out to be fantasy.
6. Draw fear on paper and come up with a way to destroy it together.

It is important to remember that sometimes a moment is enough for fear to appear, but the work on overcoming it can take years and require much more strength for the whole family. If nothing helps to overcome the fear in a child, do not postpone the consultation with a psychotherapist. Phobias that continue to haunt a child after 10 years of age can eventually lead to the development of neuroses, drug addiction and alcoholism.

Children's fear, like other unpleasant experiences (anger, suffering and irascibility), are not unequivocally "harmful" emotions for the child. Any emotion performs a specific function and allows children and adults to navigate in the objective and social environment surrounding them. So, fear protects a person from unnecessary risk when crossing the street or hiking in the mountains. Fear regulates activity, behavior, takes a person away from dangers, the possibility of injury, etc. This is manifested "protective" function fears. They engage in instinctive behavior that provides self-preservation.

So, children's fear helps to build behavior, in addition, it is an experience necessary for the normal functioning of the psyche. The child's body needs not only sweet, but also salty, sour, bitter; so the psyche needs unpleasant, even "sharp" emotions. Often children themselves cause the emotion of fear, which confirms the existence of their need to experience fear.

Teenage children love to watch horror films, especially in a small company in a dark room, and when they gather in the evening, they begin to tell each other scary stories, with a sharp emotional ending, when the narrator screams at the last word and, grabbing the hands of those sitting nearby, scares them . This is usually followed by "terrible screams", laughter and the release of psychic energy - mortido (in the words of E. Berne), aimed at destruction and aggression.

Childhood fears- this is a common phenomenon for the development of the child, which is important for him. So, V.V. Lebedinsky emphasizes that each fear or type of fear appears only at a certain age, i.e. each age has “its own” fears, which, in the case of normal development, disappear with time (Table 4). The appearance of certain fears coincides in time with a jump in the psychomotor development of the child; for example, with the beginning of independent walking and obtaining a greater “degree of freedom” in the development of space, or when children begin to recognize their loved ones, the appearance of a strange, unfamiliar face can cause them fear. Children's fears in the case of normal development are an important link in the regulation of the child's behavior and have a positive adaptive meaning. Fear, like any other experience, is useful when it performs its functions accurately, and then disappears.

Children's age fears

Age	Age fears
0 – 6 months	Any unexpected loud sound; quick movements from the other person; falling objects; total loss of support.
7 – 12 months	Loud noises (vacuum cleaner noise, loud music, etc.); any strangers; change of scenery, dressing and undressing; drain hole in the bathroom or pool; height; helplessness in the face of an unexpected situation.
1 – 2 of the year	Loud sounds; separation from parents; any strangers; bath outlet; falling asleep and waking up, dreams; fear of injury; loss of control over emotional and physical functions.
2 – 2,5 of the year	Separation from parents, rejection on their part; unfamiliar peers; percussion sounds; nightmares; change in the environment; natural elements (thunder, lightning, hail, etc.).
2 – 3 of the year	Large, incomprehensible, threatening objects (for example, Moidodyr, etc.); unexpected events, change in the order of life (new family members, divorce, death of a close relative); disappearance or movement of external objects.
3 – 5 years	death (children realize the finiteness of life); terrible dreams; bandit attack; fire and fire; illness and surgery; natural elements; Poisonous snakes; death of close relatives.
6 – 7 years	Sinister creatures (witch, ghosts, etc.); loss of parents or fear of being lost yourself; a feeling of loneliness (especially at night because of the devil, the devil, etc.); school fear (to be insolvent, not to conform to the image of a “good” child); physical violence.
7 – 8 years	Dark places (attic, basement, etc.); real disasters; loss of love of others (on the part of parents, teacher, peers, etc.); being late for school or disconnected from home and school life; physical punishment and rejection at school.
8 – 9 years	Failure at school or play; own lies or negative actions noticed by others; physical violence; quarrel with parents, their loss.
9 – 11 years old	Failure in school or sports; diseases; individual animals (rats, a herd of horses, etc.); height, sensation of spinning (some carousels); sinister people (hooligans, drug addicts, robbers, thieves, etc.)
11 – 13 years	Failure; own strange actions; dissatisfaction with their appearance; severe illness or death; own attractiveness, sexual violence; a situation of demonstrating one's own stupidity; criticism from adults; loss of personal items.

It is necessary to separate the pathological fear that requires correction from the normal, age-related one, so as not to disturb the development of the child.

pathological fear can be distinguished from "normal" by well-known criteria: if fear hinders communication, personality development, psyche, leads to social maladaptation and further to autism, psychosomatic diseases, neuroses, then this fear pathological. If children's fear does not correspond to age, this may be a signal for parents to monitor the behavior and mental state of the child.

In addition to these factors, fears also arise as a result of commits in emotional memory strong fears when encountering anything that personifies danger or poses an immediate threat to life, including assault, accident, surgery or serious illness.

No fear at all is pathological , and the reasons for this are low sensitivity in the child, mental illness, mental retardation, parents - alcoholics and drug addicts.

Another source of fear is psychological contagion e from peers and adults due to unconscious imitation.

All the factors involved in the occurrence of fears in a child in the family, A.I. Zakharov grouped it as follows:

- parental fears, mainly in the mother;

- Anxiety in the relationship with the child , excessive warning him of dangers, isolation from communication with peers, early rationalization of feelings, due to excessive adherence to principles of parents or their emotional rejection of children;

- a large number of prohibitions from the parent of the same sex, or the complete granting of freedom to the child by a parent of the opposite sex, as well as numerous unrealizable threats to all adults in the family;

- lack of opportunity for role identification with a parent of the same sex, mostly in boys, creating problems in communicating with peers and self-doubt;

- conflict between parents: mental trauma such as fright, exacerbating the age-related sensitivity of children to certain fears;

- psychological contagion of fears while interacting with peers and adults.

A.I. Zakharov directs our attention to neurotic fears , noting their most significant differences from age-related ones: greater emotional intensity and tension; long or constant flow; adverse effect on the formation of character and personality; painful sharpening; relationship with other neurotic disorders and experiences (i.e., neurotic fears are one of the symptoms of neurosis as a psychogenic illness of an emerging personality); avoidance of the object of fear, as well as everything new and unknown, i.e. development of a reactive-protective type of behavior; a stronger connection with parental fears; the relative difficulty of eliminating fears.

Neurotic fears are not fundamentally new types. They are fixed as a result of prolonged and insoluble experiences or acute mental shocks, often against the background of an already painful overstrain of nervous processes. In addition, with neurosis, they are much more likely to experience fears of loneliness, darkness and animals, designated by experts as a neurotic triad of fears. The presence of numerous fears in neurosis is a sign of insufficient self-confidence, lack of adequate psychological protection, which, taken together, adversely affects the child's well-being, creating even greater difficulties in his communication with peers. The fear of death does not differ between neurotic children and their healthy peers. The differences here come down mainly to fears of attack, fire, fire, nightmares, illness (for girls), elements (for boys). All these fears are pronounced and stable, and not just age-related, since they are based on the fear of death. This fear means the fear of being nothing; not to exist, not to be at all, since one can disappear without a trace or perish.

In order to cope with age-related childhood fears, a single plan of action should be developed, which includes comfort, support and a willingness to allow the child to cope with some of them on their own. Pathological fears are experienced, as a rule, by sensitive children who have emotional difficulties in relations with their parents, whose self-image is distorted by emotional rejection in the family or conflicts, and who cannot rely on adults as a source of security, authority and love. In this case, children will not be able to independently resolve emerging serious problems.

material provided by AU TO DPO "Regional Center" Family "(

Age dynamics of fears.

The vast majority of fears are to some extent due to age-related characteristics and are temporary. Children's fears, if you treat them correctly, understand the reasons for their appearance, most often disappear without a trace. In order to influence a child and help him get rid of fears, you need to know what fear is, what function it performs, how it arises and develops, what children are most afraid of and why.

The period of pregnancy and childbirth. Anxiety experienced by a woman during pregnancy is the first "experience" of anxiety in a child. In the second half of pregnancy, the circulatory system of the fetus develops intensively, and it receives a hormonally mediated portion of anxiety through the placenta and umbilical cord whenever the mother is in a state of anxiety. Certain functional disturbances in the activity of the body are also possible in response to prolonged excitement or irritation of the mother. The mother's anxiety also causes the corresponding motor reaction of the fetus. With emotional stress in the mother during pregnancy, there was a high probability of premature birth, as well as various violations of labor activity, if the birth took place on time. In the latter case, weakness of labor activity, signs of hypoxia (lack of oxygen) and asphyxia (suffocation) in a child are more common, when a number of special obstetric measures become necessary. Such a newborn is characterized by increased nervous excitability and higher muscle tone. He shudders at the slightest noise, loud voice, swaddling and bright light. The task of paramount importance is to create gentle conditions for such a nervously weakened, restless baby. To do this, in some countries they began to practice immersing a newborn in warm water, where the temperature and pressure correspond to the amniotic fluid during pregnancy. There is no bright lighting in the delivery room, silence is observed, and most importantly, the newborn is transferred to the mother as soon as possible. It is believed that a mother, like no other, is able to calm an excited child. It has also been proven that the normal rhythm of the mother's heartbeat, recorded on a tape recorder and reproduced in the ward through loudspeakers, contributes to a more rapid calming of the child. It is important not to delay the contact of the child with the mother and attachment to the breast, since in emotionally sensitive, vulnerable and nervously weakened children, stressful conditions after birth pose a serious threat to the normalization of their neuropsychic state in the future. So, the prevention of emotional disorders in children should begin even before birth. It is important that spouses know that the period of pregnancy is not the best time to doubt the expediency of having a child, passing exams and theses, sorting out relationships and taking on increased obligations. In the case of a neurotic state of one of the spouses, it is better for him to undergo appropriate treatment. When pregnancy occurs, a woman needs to be protected, to be more attentive, sensitive to her, because during this period she is more vulnerable and restless and needs, more than ever, the emotional support of loved ones. After the birth of a child, the emotional state of the mother should be not only in the field of view of the pediatrician, but also of the psychologist - since the state of the mother depends on the well-being and mental health of the child and his resistance to disease.

Period from 1 to 3 years. At this age, consciousness and speech develop intensively, movements are coordinated, exploratory forms of behavior are improved, and perseverance appears in overcoming difficulties. By the age of 2, there is an awareness of one's "I", an understanding of the differences between girls and boys, the relationship "adult - child - parent". The relationships that arise in this way are a necessary prerequisite for the development of a sense of family, which in turn is correlated with a sense of genus and, more generally, with a sense of human community. The formation of such psychological concepts is possible only in favorable family conditions, with emotional contact and mutual understanding with both parents, in the absence of constant family conflicts. Then the family becomes a reliable protection for the baby and allows you to fully develop and realize your abilities and skills. In an emotionally calm and cheerful family, by the end of the first year of life, children noticeably decrease, if they were, unsharply pronounced signs of neuropathy - a consequence of certain disorders during pregnancy and childbirth. The child worries less at night, sleeps more soundly, reacts less to noise, bright light, change of scenery. All this does not happen in those families where the parents are in conflict with each other, believing that the child is too small to realize their relationship. Of course, children do not understand, but emotionally perceive the conflict, experiencing a keen sense of anxiety whenever the behavior of adults suddenly changes. It must be remembered that the mother's emotional stress in a conflict situation is immediately transmitted to the child, adversely affecting his well-being. If the mother of a one-year-old child is very upset, is in a depressed mood, does not smile and almost does not talk to him, but often gets into an excited state and a melancholy mood, then it is not surprising that the baby is naughty, refuses food, sleeps restlessly day and night, becomes lethargic, less cheerful. As soon as the mother's mood improves, he noticeably calms down and begins to live his own emotional life. Until the age of 2, the interests of the child are entirely focused on close people, on the family, and so far there is no special need for communication with peers. With the stability of family relationships, the emotional development of the child is safe, reducing the likelihood of anxiety and contributing to a more adequate formation of his "I". Already by the age of two, children quite sensitively distinguish the sympathies of their parents, cry from resentment and interfere in the conversation of adults, unable to endure the lack of attention, “stick” to their parents, follow on their heels, not allowing them to talk with anyone for a long time. There is jealousy - the desire to undividedly possess the object of love and affection, which is primarily the mother. Anxiety due to the lack of her feelings is fully reflected in the dream, filling with horrors the disappearance of the mother and the lack of help in case of danger. Thus, night anxiety reflects the daytime troubles of the child, the lack of confidence in the strength and inviolability of the family emotional environment. When a nervously and somatically weakened child is sent to a nursery, his emotional contact with his mother is often disrupted. More pronounced anxiety when placed in a nursery in single and overprotected children, whose mothers themselves previously experienced the fear of loneliness. The child's anxiety increases even more if there are conflict relations in the family, and the mother herself is in a state of prolonged emotional stress, as happened with a boy of 2 years and 10 months who was placed in a nursery. He missed his mother, sat silently in a corner, refused food and could not sleep. At home, on the contrary, he became excitable, capricious, impatient, too touchy and timid, that is, he demanded increased attention to himself. At the age of 2, he began to be afraid of the dark and fairy-tale characters, did not let his mother go, cried and demanded her constant presence. As a result of unbearable emotional overstrain, speech worsened and stuttering appeared. Realizing his "I", separating himself from others, a child of 2 years is no longer so one-sidedly fixed on his mother. He increasingly needs to communicate with other family members. That is why children of this age become noticeably more sociable and easier to come into contact with strangers, but it becomes more and more difficult to agree in a family. No wonder the age of 2-4 years is called the age of stubbornness. In fact, we are talking about the development of volitional qualities that oppose self-doubt and indecision in actions and deeds. Those parents who mercilessly fight with the child, limit his independence all the time or protect him from any, even "non-dangerous dangers", run the risk of preventing the development of activity at the earliest stages, which further contributes to the emergence of fears. It is necessary to provide independence as early as possible, when the baby is just starting to crawl. Having removed all dangerous objects, parents should allow him to move freely around the apartment. Independence is encouraged in every possible way, "no" is pronounced only in the most necessary cases, but it is strictly observed. And the parents themselves do not have a frightened expression, anxious exclamations, panic cries, dramatic reactions and incessant prohibitions. They are calm because they know: all small objects that a child can swallow have already been removed (the need to "try on the tongue" is natural at this age). Cheerful perception of life by parents, warm emotional communication with children, respect for the growing need for independence and timely praise strengthen the volitional sphere of children, which, in turn, reduces the likelihood of fears. At this age, however, new fears ripen. The main character of terrible dreams is most often the Wolf. His sinister image often appears after hearing fairy tales, including the one about Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf dreams more often of children who are afraid of punishment from their father. In addition, the Wolf is associated with the physical pain that occurs with an imaginary bite with sharp teeth. The latter is very significant, given the fear of injections and pain characteristic of children of this age. Closer to 4 years old, Baba Yaga also begins to appear in nightmares, reflecting the problems of the child in relationships with a strict mother, who is not affectionate enough, often threatens with punishments. Carrying "bad" children to her and cracking down on them, Baba Yaga comes from a world where violence, injustice and heartlessness reign. The wolf and Baba Yaga symbolize a threat to life, physical destruction, the end of life. Together with severe, sudden pain due to physical injuries, diseases, the images of the Wolf and Baba Yaga precede the appearance of a psychologically motivated fear of death in children at 6 and 7 years old. Both of these images accumulate fear of something completely alien, disgusting, aggressively soulless and lifeless as opposed to closeness, tenderness, affection and cordiality. In order for a child to sleep peacefully at night, without terrible dreams, he must know that nothing threatens him, that he is loved and will always be protected. His day should be filled with movements, games, joy, laughter, new, but not excessive impressions. In this case, the dream will be light, bright. Of interest is our survey of 200 mothers of children aged 1-3 years according to a list of 29 types of fear. The most common in children of the 2nd year of life is the fear of unexpected sounds (52% of boys and 52% of girls). In second place is the fear of loneliness (44% of boys and 34% of girls), followed by fears of pain, injections and related fear of medical workers. At the age of 2, fears of pain and injections come to the fore (every second boy or girl), then fears of loneliness follow (48% for girls, 36% for boys). Compared with the 1st year, the fear of unexpected sounds decreases (every third boy and girl). This indicates a decrease in unconditioned reflex, instinctively conditioned fears, and an increase in fears that are mainly of a conditioned reflex nature of origin (pain, injections, health workers). The data obtained show an increased sensitivity of preschool children to sudden and painful influences, loneliness and lack of adult support. Accordingly, everything related to family conflicts, medical manipulations, being in a hospital or placement in a nursery can be a significant source of emotional stress, anxiety and fear. There are always fewer fears in the first years and they quickly disappear if the mother is next to the child, the father dominates in the family, the parents do not wage a "war" with stubbornness, develop, and do not suppress or drown out the child's emerging "I" with anxiety, the parents themselves are sure in themselves and are able to help children overcome imaginary and real dangers.

Period from 3 to 5 years. This is the age of emotional fulfillment of the "I" of the child. Feelings are already indicated by words, the desire for understanding, trust, closeness with other people is clearly expressed. A sense of community is also formed - the concept of "we", by which the child first means himself and his parents, and then himself and his peers. A number of ethical categories are established, including guilt and empathy. Independence increases - the child occupies himself, does not require the constant presence of adults and seeks to communicate with peers. Fantasies develop, and with them the likelihood of imaginary fears. During these years, such emotions as love, tenderness, pity, sympathy and compassion are most intensively formed. Almost equally, these feelings are manifested in relation to both parents, if there is no conflict between them, and they are an object of love for children. Despite the feeling of love for both parents (if they are not in conflict with the child and with each other), the emotional preference of the parent of the opposite sex is noticeable, most pronounced, like all emotional development, at 4 years old. Girls dearly love their fathers, especially if they look like them, and boys are emotionally attracted to their mothers. At the age we are considering, the insufficient emotional responsiveness of the parent of the opposite sex gives rise to anxiety, mood instability and capriciousness as a means of attracting attention. For this purpose, fears, especially those that arise before going to bed, can be involuntarily used. Then parents should once again sit, talk, stroke, thereby pay attention, not be as strict, formal and principled as during the day.

But even without this, at 3-5 years old, a triad of fears is often found: loneliness, darkness and confined space. The child is not left alone when falling asleep, he constantly calls his mother, the light (night light) should be on in the room and it is necessary that the door be half open. If at least one of these conditions is not met, anxiety persists, and sleep does not occur. Excitement can also manifest itself in connection with the expectation of terrible (nightmare) dreams. In all cases, much depends on the ability of parents not to create an unnecessary problem out of these age-related fears, to calm the children in time, to talk gently with them and not to insist on the immediate fulfillment of their requirements, regardless of their experiences. And during the day, do not be distant from children. Out of sleep, the child may be afraid of a cramped room, especially when he is suddenly left alone or left as a punishment in a closed room, where there is also little light.

We have already said that preschool children are afraid of the Wolf and Baba Yaga in their dreams. At the age of 3-5 years, these characters emerge from sleep, inhabiting the imagination of an emotionally sensitive and impressionable child during the day. They are joined by Barmaley, Karabas-Barabas and other equally impartial personalities. The listed characters to a certain extent reflect the fear of punishment or alienation of parents from children with a lack of love, pity and sympathy, which are so essential at this age.

According to the factor analysis, the factor of fears has the largest share, which includes fears of loneliness, attacks and fairy-tale characters, moreover in boys to a greater extent than in girls. Thus, at a younger preschool age, the fear of loneliness, based on a diffuse feeling of anxiety, is concretized by the fear of attack, embodied in the face of scary fairy-tale characters. The decoding of this combination of fears is as follows: the child, left alone, without the support of his parents, experiences a sense of danger and an instinctive fear of fairy-tale characters threatening his life. In other words, he does not feel secure enough to resist in his imagination the negative impact of fairy tale characters. That is why the active participation of the father in the life of the family and the upbringing of children can have the most positive impact on the development of the emotional and volitional spheres of children.

Returning to the age of 3-5 years, we note that there are much fewer fears in children who have the opportunity to communicate with their peers. This is not surprising, since it is then that the whole palette of emotions is revealed, the skills of protection, adequate perception of failure and flexibility of behavior in general are acquired.

The more than prosperous atmosphere in the family contributes to fears, but with excessive guardianship, constant presence of adults nearby, warning of each independent step of the child. All this involuntarily emphasizes that he is weak and defenseless against the world around him, full of uncertainty and danger. It does not allow the formation of adequate psychological protection against fears and too compliant, indecisive behavior of parents, who constantly doubt the correctness of their actions and already by this they reveal the inconsistency of their demands and decisions.

Period from 5 to 7 years. One of the characteristic features of senior preschool age is the intensive development of abstract thinking, the ability to generalize, classify, realize the category of time and space, search for answers to the questions: "Where did everything come from?", "Why do people live?". At this age, the experience of interpersonal relationships, based on the child's ability to accept and play roles, anticipate and plan the actions of another, understand his feelings and intentions. Relations with people become more flexible, versatile and at the same time purposeful. A system of values ​​(value orientations), a sense of home, kinship, an understanding of the importance of the family for procreation are being formed. In general, children of older preschool age are characterized by sociability and the need for friendship. There is a noticeable predominance in the kindergarten group of communication with peers of the same sex, acceptance among which is essential for self-affirmation and adequate self-esteem.

6-year-old children have already developed an understanding that in addition to good, kind and sympathetic parents, there are also bad ones. The bad ones are not only those who treat the child unfairly, but also those who quarrel and cannot find agreement among themselves. We find reflection in age-typical fears of devils as violators of social rules and established foundations, and at the same time as representatives of the other world. Obedient children who have experienced a feeling of guilt characteristic of age in violation of the rules and regulations in relation to authoritative persons significant to them are more susceptible to the fear of devils.

At the age of 5, transient obsessive repetitions of "indecent" words are characteristic, at the age of 6 - children are overcome by anxiety and doubts about their future, at the age of 7 - suspiciousness is observed. Age-related manifestations of obsession, anxiety and suspiciousness themselves disappear in children if the parents are cheerful, calm, self-confident, and also if they take into account the individual and gender characteristics of their child. Anxious expectations of children are dispelled by calm analysis, authoritative explanation and persuasion. With regard to suspiciousness, the best thing is not to reinforce it, switch the child's attention, run around with him, play, cause physical fatigue and constantly express your own firm confidence in the certainty of the events taking place.

As already mentioned, a parent of the same sex enjoys exceptional authority among older preschoolers. He is imitated in everything, including habits, demeanor and style of relationship with a parent of the opposite sex, whom they still love. Note that emotionally warm relations with both parents are possible only if there is no conflict between adults, since at this age children, especially girls, are very sensitive to family relationships (as well as to the attitude of other people significant to them). The authority of the parent of the same sex is reduced due to emotionally unacceptable behavior for the child and the inability to stabilize the situation in the family.

Divorce of parents in children of older preschool age has a greater adverse effect on boys than on girls. The lack of influence of the father in the family or his absence can make it most difficult for boys to form sex-appropriate communication skills with peers, cause self-doubt, a sense of powerlessness and doom in the face of danger, albeit imaginary, but filling consciousness. So, a 6-year-old boy from an incomplete family (his father left after a divorce) was terribly afraid of Zmey Gorynych. The presence of a constant imaginary threat indicates the absence of psychological protection, not formed due to the lack of adequate father influence. The boy does not have a defender who could kill the Serpent Gorynych, and from whom he could take an example, as from the fabulous Ilya Muromets.

Unjustified strictness, cruelty of the father in relations with children, physical punishment, ignoring spiritual needs and self-esteem also lead to fear. itself, but also leads to the appearance of lack of independence, dependence, helplessness, which are a breeding ground for the propagation of fears that inhibit activity and interfere with self-affirmation.

In the absence of identification with the mother, girls may also lose self-confidence. But unlike boys, they become more anxious than fearful. If, in addition, the girl cannot express love for her father, then cheerfulness decreases, and anxiety is supplemented by suspiciousness, which leads in adolescence to a depressive shade of mood, a feeling of worthlessness, uncertainty of feelings, desires.

At 5-7 years old, they are often afraid of terrible dreams and death in a dream. Moreover, the very fact of realizing death as an irreparable misfortune, the termination of life occurs most often in a dream: "I walked in the zoo, went to the lion's cage, and the cage was open, the lion rushed at me and ate" (a reflection associated with the fear of death, fears attacks and animals in a 6-year-old girl), "I was swallowed by a crocodile" (a 6-year-old boy). The symbol of death is the ubiquitous Baba Yaga, who chases children in a dream, catches them and throws them into the stove (which is what refracts, associated with the fear of death, the fear of fire). Often in a dream, children of this age may dream of separation from their parents, due to their fear disappearances and losses. Such a dream is ahead of the fear of the death of parents in primary school age. Thus, at 5-7 years old, dreams reproduce present, past (Baba Yaga) and future fears. Indirectly, this indicates the greatest saturation of the senior preschool age with fears. Terrible dreams also reflect the nature of the attitude of parents, adults to children.

The leading fear of senior preschool age is the fear of death. Its occurrence means the awareness of the irreversibility in space and time of the ongoing age-related changes. The child begins to understand that growing up at some stage marks death, the inevitability of which causes anxiety as an emotional rejection of the rational need to die. One way or another, the child feels for the first time that death is an inevitable fact of his biography. As a rule, children cope with such experiences themselves, but only if the family has a cheerful atmosphere, if the parents do not talk endlessly about illnesses, that someone has died and something can happen to him (the child) . If the child is already restless, then anxieties of this kind will only increase the age-related fear of death. The fear of death is a kind of moral and ethical category that indicates a certain maturity of feelings, their depth, and therefore is most pronounced in emotionally sensitive and impressionable children, who also have ability to abstract, abstract thinking. The fear of death is relatively more common in girls, which is associated with a more pronounced self-preservation instinct in them, in comparison with boys. But in boys, a more tangible connection can be traced between the fear of death of oneself and subsequently - parents with fears of strangers, unfamiliar faces, starting from 8 months of life, that is, a boy who is afraid of other people will be more prone to fear of death than a girl who does not have such a sharp oppositions. According to the correlation analysis, the fear of death is closely related to fears of attack, darkness, fairy-tale characters (more active at 3-5 years old), illness and death of parents (older age), terrible dreams, animals, elements, fire, fire and war. . The last 6 fears are most typical for senior preschool age. They, as previously listed, are motivated by a threat to life in a direct or indirect form. An attack by someone (including animals), as well as a disease, can result in irreparable misfortune, injury, death. The same applies to storm, hurricane, flood, earthquake, fire, conflagration and war as immediate threats to life. This justifies our definition of fear as an affectively sharpened self-preservation instinct. Under adverse life circumstances, the fear of death contributes to the strengthening of many fears associated with it. So, after the death of her beloved hamster, a 7-year-old girl became whiny, touchy, stopped laughing, could not watch and listen to fairy tales, because she wept bitterly from pity for the heroes and could not calm down for a long time. The main thing was that she was terribly afraid of dying in her sleep, like a hamster, so she could not fall asleep alone, experiencing spasms in her throat from excitement, asthma attacks and frequent urges to go to the toilet. Remembering how her mother once said in her hearts: “It would be better for me to die,” the girl began to fear for her life. As we can see, the case with the hamster fell just at the age maximum of the fear of death, actualized it and led to an exorbitant growth in the imagination of an impressionable girl.

In other cases, we are faced with the child's fear of being late - for a visit, for kindergarten, etc. At the heart of the fear of being late, of not being in time, is an indefinite and anxious expectation of some kind of misfortune. Sometimes such fear acquires an obsessive, neurotic connotation when children torment their parents with endless questions-doubts like: "Won't we be late?", "Will we have time?", "Will you come?" Waiting intolerance is manifested in the fact that the child "burns out emotionally" before the onset of some specific, pre-planned event, for example, the arrival of guests, going to the cinema, etc. Most often, the obsessive fear of being late is inherent in boys with a high level of intellectual development, but with insufficiently expressed emotionality and spontaneity. They are taken care of a lot, controlled, regulated every step by not very young and anxiously suspicious parents. The obsessive fear of being late is a symptom of painfully sharpened and fatally insoluble inner restlessness, that is, neurotic anxiety, when the past frightens, the future worries, and the present worries and puzzles.

Fear is a feeling of anxiety or anxiety that occurs in response to a real or perceived threat to life or well-being.
In children, such fears, as a rule, are the result of the psychological influence of adults (most often parents), or self-hypnosis. The appearance of such a problem in a child is an occasion for parents to think. You should not leave it unattended, because neurotic manifestations in adults are often the result of unresolved childhood fears.

Causes of children's fears

There are several reasons why children's fears arise:

A traumatic situation experienced by a child and a fear of its repetition (a bee sting, for example);
- excessively frequent reminder to the child by parents about the occurrence of possible unpleasant situations;
- accompanying any independent actions of the child with an emotionally colored warning about the danger lurking on the way;
- frequent bans;
- talking in the presence of children about various negative phenomena (deaths, murders, fires);
- conflicts in the family, especially if the source is unwittingly the child himself;
- disagreements with peers, their rejection of the child;
- conscious intimidation of the child by parents with fairy-tale characters (Baba Yaga, goblin, water) in order to achieve obedience.

These are the so-called age-related fears that appear in emotional and sensitive children.

Quite often, fears are a manifestation of diseases of the nervous system - neuroses.

There are also indirect reasons (prerequisites) that create conditions for the development of children's fears. Thus, the wrong behavior of the mother, who takes on the role of the head of the family, causes anxiety in the child. The desire of the mother to quickly return to work after maternity leave has a bad effect on the child, while the child feels an acute shortage in close communication with her.

Children from single-parent families are more susceptible to fears, as well as the only children in the family, who become the center of their parents' worries and anxieties. The age of the parents also has an effect - the older the parents, the more likely their children are to develop anxiety and worry. Affects the appearance of fears in children and the stress experienced by the mother during pregnancy or the conflict situation in her family during the period of bearing a child.

The presence of certain children's fears directly depends on the age of the child.

Fears in children of all ages

In children of the first year of life, the most typical fears are associated with the separation of the child from the mother. The child may also be afraid of strangers and new surroundings.
Before the age of three, children are most often afraid of the dark. Often there is a fear of being alone and night terrors.

After three years, the fear of the dark still persists, but new experiences arise - now the child is afraid to be in a confined space, afraid of fairy-tale characters and loneliness (in the sense of "being a nobody").

When a child is 5 years old, he begins to be afraid of fire, depth, nightmares, death, animals. There may be fear of losing parents, and at the same time fear of being punished by them. Often the child is afraid of being late and of contracting some kind of disease.

From the age of seven, when school years begin, various fears associated with study may come - the fear of making a mistake, getting a bad grade, not meeting the expectations of adults.

From 10-11 to 16 years old, the child experiences a fear of changing his appearance and various fears of interpersonal origin.

It makes sense to dwell on the main types of fears in children.

Fear of loneliness

Almost everyone from childhood knows the fear of being left at home alone. This is caused in the child by a feeling of uselessness, defenselessness, insufficient love of the parents who left him alone. In this case, you need to convince the baby that the house is a safe place, and although you have to leave, you still love your boy or girl very much. Agree on a time to expect your return, and be sure to call from time to time. Although, most likely, this fear will completely disappear only when the child grows up.

Fear of the dark

A common fear is the fear of the dark. It happens that they are provoked by adults themselves or by one of their friends, jumping out of the darkness and shouting in a terrible voice “UUUU!” or telling that some kind of ghosts are flying in the dark. Sometimes a kind of "hardening" by darkness helps to get rid of this (a gradual increase in the time spent in a dark room, or even sitting in it with a flashlight, showing that there is nothing but objects there and cannot be). But it’s better not to torment the child and turn on the light for him, giving him the opportunity to see that nothing has changed and calmly wait for the baby to grow up.

Fear of death

The fear of death in a child most adversely affects the psyche, so never tell him phrases like: “if you don’t listen to me, I can get sick and die.” Try to keep him out of the funeral for at least 10 years. However, periodically mention dead relatives with him, so the understanding comes that even after death a person continues to live, no matter where - in conversations, in the hearts of people, but he does not completely disappear. If this does not help, it is better to consult a specialist.

How to get rid of fears

It must be said that if a child develops correctly and is healthy, then by the age of 16, all kinds of fears should disappear from him. However, it is a misconception that a child should never experience anxious feelings at all. With the increasing cognitive activity of a growing organism, it is simply impossible to avoid their appearance, and perhaps not necessary. But everything is good in moderation, therefore, if fears prevent a child from living a quality and happy life, they need to be dealt with.

What to do if your child’s fears arise very often and shatter his already weak nervous system.

First of all, remember what you can not do in any case:

1. Punish the child for his fears.
2. Taunt him, trying to convict him of pretense or stupidity.
3. Do not try to force the baby into this fear (force him to pet the dog he is terrified of).
4. Do not allow uncontrolled watching horror movies or reading books or magazines with scary stories.

How parents can help their child:

1. Listen carefully and understand the feelings of the baby, because. for any fear appears to be a real danger to his life. At the same time, the child will throw out his emotions, weaken them, and you will get a complete picture of the causes and picture of his experiences. However, you can not openly insist that the child tell the reason for his fears, as the problem will worsen even more and gain a foothold. You can talk to him directly if he takes the initiative himself. Otherwise, watch carefully and ask leading questions.
2. Assure that you love him very much, and if such a need arises, be sure to protect him.
3. Find additional protectors for the child in the form of toy figures, a flashlight, a blanket.
4. Dispel the kid's fantasies with reality by finding simple explanations for objects and phenomena that, in his opinion, are terrible.
5. Tell that if you follow certain rules, then everything will be fine.
6. Read stories together and watch cartoons in which at first scary monsters, and in the end they turn out to be just a fantasy (for example, a cartoon about a baby raccoon who was afraid of his own reflection in the river).
7. Show the child how to “pour out” fears on paper and conduct a “ritual” of their destruction.

If you can not cope with the fears of the child, do not delay, contact a psychotherapist. Fears of preschool age, which do not go away after 10 years, serve as a predisposing factor for the development of severe neuroses, as well as drug addiction and alcoholism in the future.

Signs of pathological (neurotic fears):

The appearance of an unusually strong fear, a discrepancy between the severity of fear and the strength of the situation that caused it.
- Discrepancy between fear and the situation that led to its occurrence.
- A protracted course of fear, leading to a pronounced violation of the general condition (sleep, appetite).
- Characteristic behavior aimed at avoiding a situation that causes fear.

Prevention of fears in children

Remember, the period of pregnancy is the most inopportune time to sort things out. It is undesirable to take exams during this period, to defend dissertations and theses. Choose the golden mean in raising a child, do not exalt, but do not oppress him either. Encourage the child to walk more, run, make something, invite his friends to the house more often. Do not scare too often with “babay”, someone else's uncle, policeman, wolves. Set aside more time for joint creativity (sculpting, drawing, cutting and gluing). Play with the whole family. Love your child the way he is. In general, be a good friend and a good mentor to him.

Pediatrician Sytnik S.V.