A girl should be modest. Does a woman need modesty? How a modest woman looks and behaves

To answer the question do guys like modest silent girls need to define the concept. Modest - what are they? Silent - how is it? If this includes a sense of proportion in everything - in emotions, behavior, cosmetics, clothing, words and manifestations of feelings, then I can definitely say yes, but not to everyone.

If here we mean downtroddenness, painful shyness, unsociableness, a monastic lifestyle, then alas, no, a guy in adolescence (and not only) is unlikely to decide on a relationship with such a girl. Here you can read in more detail.

There is a fairly widespread opinion that the so-called. sociable, overly sociable girls are more attractive to guys than modest and silent girls. Yes, this is true, if we talk about the majority, but even they do not really like the fact that too many potential rivals are hovering around them. And certainly none of them like it if such girls dress or put on tasteless shoes, maintain an absolute vacuum in their heads, and behave emphatically arrogantly and vulgarly, while also smoking like steam locomotives.

What I want to say: extremes are not welcomed by guys in either case. Therefore, there must be a certain golden mean here. If a girl is modest, from an ordinary family, her social circle is limited, and her requests do not go beyond reasonable limits, but she is quite modern, aware of everything that is interesting to her peers, and it is interesting to communicate with her, then she has every chance to please a guy.

Do guys like shy girls? We look at ourselves

Try to evaluate how friendly, sweet, polite and even graceful you are, because many of today's young men dream of just such, and “peck” at what is more accessible. This is due to not too strong self-confidence. After all, in order to communicate with a cultured and intelligent, well-mannered person, you still need to reach his level yourself.

Therefore, you should not try to copy the behavior of "popular" girls with guys. With time and experience, young men still change their tastes and preferences, and each time you should not adapt to them. In addition, as the hero of one very popular in Soviet times film “Men” said: “You don’t know one thing about us, men: why we meet with some, and marry completely different” (this is not verbatim, but it leads to reflection ).

Of course, guys are attracted by everything bright, catchy, beautiful, sparkling, they admire it, write it down in the list of their victories, and then, with a clear conscience, change such a girlfriend for a brighter one from their point of view.

Inconspicuous, modest girls begin to interest young men when they are convinced that most often, a catchy girl is a rhinestone, a fake that is easy to confuse with a diamond that they are looking for. Therefore, in the question of whether guys like modest and silent girls, you should not focus on the word “modest” and “silent”, so be it, you should not break yourself for the sake of a passing fashion.

If guys like modest girls, then why?

Many young men find a lot of virtues in modest and pretty girls: lack of conceit, demands on people, lack of obsession with fashionable clothes and competitions “who will seduce or prodynamize a guy faster”. They appreciate modest girls and the fact that they cannot be found in tipsy companies or with a cigarette in hand, they cannot be called "Miss Glamour" or "Sex Girls". Only the most worthy, self-confident and strong in character will fall in love, but everyone respects.

However, you should not go to extremes: turn yourself into a gray mouse or be your mother's daughter all the time. A modest girl, who, in addition to all her virtues, also has self-esteem, and the desire to have fun, and the desire to respect, love not only others, but also herself, will make them move mountains. It is necessary to overcome shyness, as well as to develop the ability to keep up the conversation, and to protect yourself from the attacks of the "firebirds".

Everyone needs to feel like a person, individuality, read interesting books, watch no less interesting films, engage in self-education, increase the level of intelligence, regardless of whether a person is modest or not. You just don't have to focus on it. Life is much wider.

By the way, most often modest are those girls who believe that they are overweight. You can read about how young men treat them in the article by clicking on the link.

I have a girlfriend - a good example of whether guys like modest girls - she was just like that in her youth, but this did not stop her from being strong when required, sociable when needed, this did not prevent her from becoming a wonderful mother and wife, realize yourself in your chosen profession. Her husband is proud of what she has achieved (he knows what it cost her) and just loves it when she blushes (still!)

The story of my reader about how the guy did not take into account the modest upbringing of the girl and went too far with perseverance.

We met Sergei on the bus. I lost money that day and had to be late for an exam. Sergei did not let the trouble happen, he paid for my fare. That evening, after successfully passing the exam, we met in the park.

I liked him at first sight - tall, charming, generous! He flatly refused to take the money back. We chatted for a very long time, went on a walk until the very night. I asked to see me home, because I'm afraid to walk the streets alone. I was somewhat surprised by his reaction to my simple request: "You are a coward and a mother's daughter. You are already 18 - it's time to break away from your parents." I was offended and could not find what to answer.

The next day we met again. Seeing him, I forgot about all the insults - a charming smile, a flower, a chocolate bar - again we walked and talked until late. By the end of the meeting, I was no longer able to laugh - he knew so many funny stories, jokes, anecdotes! It was getting dark again and I, freezing, was getting ready to go home, no longer asking him to take me. But he stopped me, saying that the evening was just beginning, now his friends would drive up, and we would go to a disco. I really didn’t like it, something sank inside. I made a nervous attempt to leave on the pretext that I wasn't feeling well. But he again did not let me do it, rudely stopping me. "If you want to sit in the girls until old age, please go, but I assure you - you will regret me all your life," I obeyed. For some reason, I wanted to obey him unquestioningly, even though my intuition told me to run. I couldn't even tell my parents where I was (we didn't have cell phones at that time).

His friends came. Five people. We went to the disco. Sergey held my hand tightly all the way. I was scared, but at the same time I was tormented by a strange feeling that I was really a stupid coward, and Sergey was a self-confident, strict man. His friends spoke to him in a respectful tone. They treated me the same way. There was not even a hint of debauchery, which I imagined in a panic in my imagination.

At the disco, he began to allow himself a lot of excess. I sternly made it clear that I did not like all this. In addition, I was worried about my parents, because it was already night. He again began to convince me that I was an adult, and I should think with my own head that he would never have contacted a child. He repeated that he did not hold me and I could leave at any moment. He himself will call me a taxi. But all the time I was reminded that I would lose.

His friends got girls from somewhere and they began to retire in private.

At some point, I burst into tears like a child and asked to be sent home.

At the same moment, I regretted my words - I saw contempt on his face, mixed with some kind of terrible disgust. It was very humiliating, I wanted to take back my words, But he did as he promised - he ordered a taxi and sent me home

At home, I had a very serious conversation with my parents. For the first time in my life, I said a lot of nasty things to them, being impressed by Sergey's words. I'm not a mother's daughter and not a snot in a glass!!!

The next day, my parents and I went out of town for a week. Having not slept all night, in the morning I tearfully asked for forgiveness from them for my words, and hated and loved Sergey

I had a week to think about. A calm conversation with my mother solved all my problems. Now everything was clear to me. I felt sorry for myself and my parents) I had no feelings for Sergei. Even hate. There was something of friendly sympathy left - after all, he really did as he promised. So he's an honest man, at least

But he reacted very sharply to my indifferently friendly greeting. I think his pride was hurt. He decided that for a week I was "having fun with someone else" under the guise of a trip with my parents to the country. And with him I just pretended to be touchy

I found myself begging him to believe me! With an effort of will, I cut off all explanations, calmly saying, "Well, let it be fun, you just don't worry, okay, bye, I have to go." His face changed again. Now I learned that I had taken advantage of his kindness and generosity. I offered him to give all that (small in principle) money that he spent on me, he almost became furious. I became an enemy.

I did not respond to his angry attacks. She just looked at him calmly. And once she quietly said "if somewhere I was wrong, I'm sorry." After a while, he calmed down, saying one day "okay, I'm sorry, I acted like a darned asshole" and you are a normal girl.

A couple of years later he found me in a chat, congratulated me on the other. I found out that he had just returned from the army and was going to start a new life, that he was no longer as addicted to sex as before. I sincerely wished him good luck, expressed confidence that he would succeed, and said that I was already going to get married.

It doesn't make much sense to analyze the situation. The man simply did not take into account that the girl is modest, well-mannered and not used to the rapid development of events. I suppose she was also a virgin at that time - and here the fear of haste is all the more understandable. The conclusion is simple: consider who is in front of you - a "liberated" girl or a modest, even stiff girl with a good, proper upbringing. By pushing her into sex, you can easily miss out on a potential partner for a serious relationship. Just scare her and thereby set her against yourself, as happened in history.

I think that this outcome is not the worst for the girl. Very often, girls, having fallen in love with a rake-alfacha, jump after him into a pool of dubious pleasures and turn from good girls into walking ladies unsuitable for a family. Therefore, passion is passion, temptations are temptations, and you always need to have a head on your shoulders. Especially when life has not yet been flushed down the club toilet.

The image of femininity is made up of many feminine qualities: softness, flexibility, openness, naturalness, dignity, beauty, the ability to listen, trust ... But this list will not be complete without such a quality as MODESTY.

The opposite of modesty are qualities such as:

boasting, vulgarity, swagger, pride, tactlessness, arrogance, licentiousness, permissiveness, arrogance, vanity, narcissism, arrogance. And these qualities hardly adorn a woman.

Often we confuse modesty with shyness, shyness, and sometimes with downtroddenness and complexes. Timid people are afraid to express their point of view, they are unsure of themselves, they do not know how to express themselves.

✿ A humble person is self-confident, self-sufficient and wise. He does not need to prove anything to anyone and attract attention to himself.

✿ Modesty is a quality acquired rather than given by nature. It is achieved through education and inner work on oneself. Only a mature person can be humble.

✿ A modest person has inner dignity and self-respect.

✿ Modesty always adorns a person, and especially a woman!

✿ Modesty is the awareness of one's own limits and the limits of another person. Such a woman will never impose her decisions and her opinions on others. Humility involves respect for the other person's choice, even if you don't like that choice. This is a certain beat. Often immodest people are tactless.

✿ Modesty implies the absence of vanity.

✿ A modest woman does not stick out and push herself to the fore: - That's what I am, look at me!

Immodest people are more often obsessed with themselves, their virtues and their achievements, it is important for them to demonstrate them and not just demonstrate them, but also get attention, exalt themselves, and, if possible, arouse envy.

Immodest people are often realized at the expense of others, they do not allow a word to be inserted in a conversation, and they always pull the blanket over themselves. They are desperate for recognition.

This eternal desire to receive approval and recognition of others takes a lot of energy, deprives of peace, a person lives all the time, focusing on others, and not on himself.

✿ Modesty in behavior and appearance implies a certain measure in clothes, in cosmetics, in emotions, in words. A modest woman takes care of herself, but her style will never be vulgar. And of course, all kinds of provocations with the exposure of various parts of the body are excluded.

✿ A modest woman grew out of narcissism, this process becomes uninteresting. She does not need to brag about her acquisitions, nor her achievements, nor her talents, nor her natural gifts. She will not post her photos in the public domain on social networks in order to arouse someone's envy or to gain the approval of strangers.

✿ A modest woman will never demonstrate her successes and achievements. A modest woman will not interrupt a man. And also will not rush with advice, and express their opinion. Modesty excludes categorical and commanding tone.

✿ A modest woman knows her own worth, and there is no need for her to seem better than she really is. Therefore, she will not strenuously attract attention to herself or demonstrate her exclusivity.

An immodest woman can take on a lot of things, and then demonstrate her “successes” to everyone or portray a victim of circumstances.

An immodest woman is always waiting for praise from others, that everyone will notice her virtues and, in general, everything that she does. And when this does not happen, disappointment and resentment grow in the soul.

Pride does not allow you to enjoy what you already have, makes a woman think that she deserves better than what she has, including a man. This eternal discontent prevents a woman from being happy. Inner modesty allows you to feel the boundaries of what is permitted in relationships. Therefore, quarrels and conflicts with a man are excluded.

✿ Modesty is, first of all, an understanding of one's boundaries, limits and female capabilities.

Humility Benefits:

✿ A modest woman does not judge or condemn others, because she does not consider her opinions and her views to be the only correct ones. Therefore, a modest woman is not threatened by pride, which deprives a woman of peace and happiness.

✿ Humility will allow you to always have a good relationship with the people around you.

✿ Modesty will allow you to give way to a man, as you will be able to step aside and not climb ahead of him. And even more so, to give advice when you are not asked for it.

✿ Modesty will emphasize all your virtues: kindness, naturalness, sincerity, softness and beauty, and, of course, femininity.

Women's modesty is very beautiful.

Such qualities as naturalness, dignity, upbringing, responsiveness, goodwill and tact are closely related to modesty.

This is a very feminine quality that makes a woman harmonious and very attractive. Developing this quality, it will become easier for you to live - more harmony, kindness and love will appear in your life.

It has always been believed that modesty is the main dignity of a woman. But today, ideas about the attractiveness of a girl have completely changed, guys are increasingly choosing for themselves one that is not distinguished by shyness and modesty. Why guys are no longer attracted to restrained and mysterious girls.

What a modest girl she is

For a modest and shy girl, such concepts as not verbosity, mystery, passivity, defenselessness, vulnerability are suitable. It would seem that all these qualities should attract the stronger sex. A real man wants to protect and protect his soul mate, a quiet and laconic girl will become a faithful, caring wife and a wonderful mother for future children.

But there is also a negative side: lack of initiative, lack of ambition and own opinion, unwillingness to develop, self-doubt, pedantry. These qualities annoy men and guys today.

The main question is: why do all of the above aspects of such girls repel young people? But the point is that modest girls repel mostly only young guys– adolescents, at a more mature age, the values ​​of a man change in the opposite direction.

Reasons for the dislike of guys to modest girls

Firstly, a young and active guy will not even notice a modest girl, because in her youth she is engaged in study and self-development, she does not have free time to meet and communicate with the opposite sex. Secondly, even if he notices her, she outwardly will greatly lose to her peers, who lead and look defiant.

During the period of growing up among young people, the choice of a potential partner for a relationship is not based on her personal qualities, but on a bright and beautiful “packaging”. Stylishly dressed, brave and even daring girls are “pride” for a teenager, she is not ashamed to show her to her friends, go to the movies or to a disco with her. A modest girl, who more often at a young age resembles a “gray mouse” rather than a fatal beauty, will not arouse interest among friends and will not become the soul of the company.

Another reason is the “hormonal explosion” in teenage guys. A dissolute immodest girl more easily agrees to intimacy. That is, easy accessibility attracts guys, which is difficult to say about a modest girl. At best, it will take a long time to persuade her, and at worst, this will not be possible. By the way, in most cases this is the main answer to the question: why do guys not like modest girls.

Self-doubt is characteristic of a modest girl, this not only prevents her from finding a worthy partner, but also in communicating with people. Men feel when a girl next to him feels uncomfortable, but not everyone realizes that the reason for this is her inner barrier, and not some of his shortcomings. In any case, the presence of complexes and low self-esteem becomes a serious obstacle for the young lady in relations with the opposite sex.

The inability to stand up for oneself makes a girl unattractive in the eyes of guys. A young man will take it as an honor to stand up for his soul mate in front of other guys. But often modest girls are ridiculed by more courageous peers, in which case the guy will not defend the interests of his beloved, but rather turn away from her in order to protect himself from attacks from outside.

In general, during the period of growing up, young people are looking for bright and accessible girls. In adolescence, not a single young man thinks about a serious relationship with his chosen one, by and large he doesn’t care what kind of hostess and mother she will be, what is important for him is that “here and now”. And a girl at this age does not think about creating a family.

By what criteria does a guy choose a girl for himself

If we talk about the fact that uncommunicative girls repel guys, then too vulgar and obsessive persons also do not attract them. More precisely, the lack of femininity will never attract a man, both mature and adolescent. Therefore, the bright appearance and sociability of a young girl is a clear advantage, which should be moderate.

At a young age, men evaluate the appearance of a woman not by her natural data, but by her ability to improve them. In other words, a guy is more likely to pay attention to a girl with moderately bright makeup than without it at all. A beautiful hairstyle and manicure, a tendency to experiment with one's appearance attracts and attracts guys. It is these qualities that modest girls are deprived of.

Sociability and a good sense of humor make the girl especially attractive.. It is not easy to willingly enter into close relationships with such girls, but they can also just be friends or spend time together if they have common interests. Modest girls can not always become an interesting companion, or rather, she will become more like just a listener.

By the way, overly arrogant and demanding people also repel guys, and much more often than prudes. Some girls from an early age are spoiled by expensive things and excessive attention from their parents. Young insolvent guys cannot provide the girl with expensive gifts and beautiful courtship, and they simply do not want to give them constant attention, since they themselves, by and large, need care and guardianship.

Conclusion

Indeed, the relationship of opposite sexes in adolescence is a complex process, when young people completely lack a sense of responsibility for each other, and neither of them wants to burden themselves with a serious relationship. Young people are attracted to simple and immodest girls, and the latter are attracted to “bad” guys.

With age, closer to 25 years, the values ​​of a man completely change in the opposite direction. An adult man is looking for a life partner among modest decent women who will be reliable, faithful and caring wives. Although daring and courageous women also attract adult men, but rather in a sexual way, for example, as a mistress.

Ten or fifteen years ago, modesty was considered an unconditional virtue. “Modesty adorns a girl,” they said then, but there were always girls, and men too, who retorted: “When there are no more jewelry.” In the modern world, the opinion has strengthened that modesty, on the contrary, can only interfere with the achievement of one's goals. So is modesty a plus for a girl?

Reasons why guys like modest girls

There is an opinion that a modest and shy girl will make an ideal wife. First of all, the modest woman does not like to attract everyone's attention to herself, thus she will not provoke outbreaks of jealousy in her young man. In addition, it is believed that modest representatives of the fair sex prefer unhurried evenings at home with reading a book and baking a pie to going to a club and noisy gatherings until the morning. A serious young man oriented towards home comfort cannot fail to like this.

Shy women are indifferent to shopping - this rather controversial thesis is put forward by men who find modest girls very attractive. In addition to saving money, which the windy beauty will certainly lower on dresses, shoes, stockings, the shy girl will also devote all her free time to something more useful - studying, working, arranging life, finally.

The decisive argument in choosing a life partner, which is made between more and less modest girls, is the fact that often modest women remain virgins for a long time. Thus, it is highly likely that you will be the first and only man with your chosen one, which, of course, cannot but flatter male pride.

Reasons why guys don't like modest girls

Many self-sufficient men are not interested in girls who are overly modest, shy and insecure. Such girls are not able to take the initiative in any matter, and even in those cases when it comes from a man, they only blush, turn pale and turn away. This is especially acute in intimate relationships, at least when they are just beginning.

Often a young man wants not only to be sure that his girlfriend is the best, but also to receive confirmation of this from others. It may be pleasant for a young man to see that attention is paid to his girlfriend, they stop looking at her; and some envy from his own friends really raises his self-esteem. Of course, a catchy and self-confident girl attracts the attention of others to a much greater extent than a modest quiet one.

In fact, there is no single correct answer to the question of which girl is more attractive - modest or relaxed. Each person has their own preferences based on a particular life experience. It is important to remember that all people have a "half" - the same person who is ideal in all respects. It is only important not to miss the moment when you meet this particular person.