How to help your child love learning. How to make a child do homework - advice from a psychologist. How to teach a child to do homework on their own. How to solve the problems that have arisen in the study of the student

It is no secret that for many parents, the question of how to get a child to do homework is especially relevant. And this is not an idle question. After all, often preparing homework becomes a big test for the whole family.

Remember how many tears, experiences it took to learn what century Yuri Dolgoruky was born in or how to calculate the integral equation! How many children remember with hatred their school years, the teachers who tortured them with exorbitant household chores, the parents who forced them to do these jobs under duress! Let's not repeat these mistakes. But how do you teach your children to learn? Let's try with the help of psychologists to give some answers to these difficult questions.

Why does the child refuse to work?

The first question that parents must answer for themselves is why the child does not want to study at home? There are a lot of answers to it.

A child may simply be afraid of making a mistake when doing homework, he may simply be lazy, afraid of the parents themselves, he may simply lack motivation for homework. Also, a child may simply be tired of the fact that he has a lot of study load, because, in addition to a regular school, he attends a musical institution, an art circle and a chess section. It's like A. Barto, "Drama circle, photo circle ...". At this point, it’s true, there are too many things for a child to do, so he has to unconsciously refuse something. So he refuses to do homework.

However, schoolchildren have plenty of other motives for refusing to complete lessons. But parents must go through all the options in their minds and find the only correct answer that fits the character of their child. Moreover, it should be remembered that homework in a modern school is a very difficult task, often, in order to complete it, the efforts of literally all family members are needed. After all, programs are becoming more and more complicated, even in the first grade today a child should already read about 60 words per minute. It's in the third quarter! But before, our mothers and fathers, being first-graders themselves, learned only to add letters.

Well, if the parents have identified the reasons why the child refuses to do homework, then they need to accustom themselves to patience and understand that the difficult mission of home mentors awaits them.

Let's talk about motivation

The key to success in this case is the positive motivation of the child to do homework. It takes a lot of effort to build that motivation. First of all, these efforts are based on positive school experience. If your child is not doing well at school, then he will perceive homework as a continuation of school torture.

Therefore, positive motivation is developed, first of all, within the walls of the school, and only then at home. Here we can talk about the need for close interaction between the school and the family.

Well, what about those parents who understand that they cannot find an answer to the question of how to make a child do homework without scandals, due to the fact that the child simply does not like the school that he has to go to every day? Such parents can be advised to solve this issue on principle, up to changing schools or finding another teacher.

In general, fathers and mothers need to be very sensitive in matters of schooling. It also happens that in the classroom the child gets the unenviable role of “stuffed animal”, “whipping boy”, relations with classmates do not add up, others offend your child. Naturally, he does not want to study at all. After all, how can you go to school if you are not loved and offended there? What is the right way to do homework...

Does age play a role?

Much in this matter is decided by the age at which the child himself is. It happens, for example, that a child does not want to do homework, grade 1, in which he is still studying, simply has not yet formed the correct positive motivation. In this case, it is much easier to interest such a first grader than an older student.

In general, parents of first-graders need to remember that their children go through an adaptation process in the first quarter. Therefore, the problem of how to make a child do homework without scandals is not yet so significant. There will be scandals in this case. But there is a chance that they will stop when your son or daughter goes through the difficult process of adjusting to first grade.

Also, parents of first-graders need to remember that it is the 1st grade that is the “golden time” on which all the future successes or failures of their child depend. After all, this is the period when your son or daughter understands what school is, why you need to study, what they want to achieve in their class. The personality of the first teacher is also very important in this matter. It is a wise and kind teacher who can become for your child that guide to the world of knowledge, a person who will show the way to life. Therefore, the personality of such a teacher is very important for children! If a first-grader is afraid of his teacher, does not trust him, then this, of course, will have a very bad effect on his studies and the desire to do homework.

How to make a high school student do homework?

But this is a more difficult question. After all, parents can still put pressure on the baby, they can force him, using, in the end, their authority, but what about the offspring, who is in a transitional age? After all, nothing can force such a child to learn. Yes, it is much more difficult to cope with a teenager. Here you need patience, tact, the ability to understand. Parents need to think about the question of how to do homework with a child without screaming, because, perhaps, often they themselves simply provoke a conflict, unable to stand it and blaming their grown-up son or daughter for all sins. And teenagers react very sharply to criticism, it is difficult for them to cope with it, as a result they simply refuse to do the work that is given at home at school.

The transitional age in which schoolchildren are from 12 to 14-15 years old can seriously affect a student's progress. Children at this moment experience serious physical and psychological stress, often they experience their first love, strive to impress their peers. What kind of education is there? And parents at this age become a kind of opponents for children, because a teenager seeks to break away from his family, to get the right to manage his own life. Overly authoritarian parents in this case begin to put a lot of pressure on their children to call them to obedience. But they do not always achieve this obedience, but it happens that the child begins to protest. And often the refusal to do homework is the result of this protest.

Teach Children Responsibility

A good help for all parents who seek to build relationships with their child, and at the same time make their son or daughter study well, is to find the answer to the question of how to teach a child to do homework on his own? After all, if you teach your child from the very first years at school to the fact that he himself must be responsible for his actions, then perhaps this responsibility will accompany him all the remaining school years. In general, it is very important to teach children to understand that everything in life depends on their actions, on their desires and aspirations.

Think about why your child is studying, what did you inspire him? Did you tell him that he is studying for a career that lies ahead of him in a nebulous future? Did you explain to him that the learning process is a kind of work, difficult work, the result of which will be knowledge about the world of people that cannot be bought for money? Think about what you are talking with your child, what are you teaching him?

Therefore, before analyzing the problem of if the child does not learn lessons, what to do with him, try to understand yourself. And don't forget about the example you set for your children. After all, your attitude to work, housework will also become a kind of incentive for your children to study. Therefore, with all your appearance, demonstrate that studying has always been an interest to you, continue to study with your children, even if you are already 40 years old!

Use methodical techniques!

Of course, it is worth remembering about modern methodological techniques. There are many such methods. Most of them, however, are aimed at helping children of primary school age. These are various games that are held before and after doing homework, stimulating the cognitive activity of children, retelling, and so on. An old methodical technique is to draw up a daily routine for a child. Even your first grader needs to know how much time he has for school, extracurricular activities, games and, of course, lessons. After all, you, being preoccupied with the problem of how to make a child do homework, should help in every possible way in this.

Do not do homework instead of your son or daughter!

Very often, parents make another pedagogical mistake. From a very early age, they teach their child to what lessons do with him instead of him. The child quickly realizes that his task is simply to do, to rewrite what mom or dad has already prepared for him. Don't make this mistake! Thus, you accustom your child to the fact that without labor, at the expense of others, much can be achieved in life. And it turns out, as in Dragunsky's story "Vasya's dad is strong ...". Don't be like mom and dad. Remember, you must know the answer to the question of how to teach a child to do their homework on their own. This is your parental duty!

Another common mistake is the excessive ambition of parents who want to make young geniuses out of their children at all costs. Moreover, such parents often simply “break” the psyche of their children themselves, simply forgetting that they should be concerned about the problem of how to teach a child to do homework, and not about how to raise a young talent in all subjects.

Very often, homework in such families turns into torture for children. Mom or dad forces a son or daughter to rewrite the same task several times, achieving its perfect completion, parents find fault with trifles, they are stingy with praise. So what is left for the kids to do? Of course, after some time, children refuse to work, fall into tantrums, showing with all their appearance that they simply cannot become young geniuses, as their parents want from them. But this is still the easiest case. But it happens that parents inspire their children with a “complex of an excellent student or an excellent student”, setting him tasks that their children simply cannot complete.

For example, an ambitious mother, who has raised her son alone all her life, dreams of him becoming a great violinist and giving his concerts all over the world. Her son really successfully studies at a music school, but he could not rise above the level of a music school, let's say this: he simply did not have enough talent and patience. And what should such a mother do, who in her imagination has already elevated her son to the rank of great musicians of our time? She does not need an ordinary loser son ... And how can this young man be reproached for the fact that nature did not make him a genius?

Or another example. Parents dream of their daughter defending her doctoral dissertation. Moreover, it is not even very important for them that scientific direction within which this should be done. The girl is instilled with this family dream from a young age, she is required to achieve wonderful results in a scientific career, but the girl has intellectual abilities only above average, as a result, her desire for a degree ends in a mental hospital.

Agree that these examples are sad, but they are the very flesh of our real life. Often, very often, parents do this with their children.

What if the subject is simply not given?

It also happens that the subject is simply not given to the child. Well, your son or daughter does not have the ability for physics or chemistry, for example. What to do in this case? How to make a child do homework if he does not understand anything, simply does not understand how to solve this or that task? Here, parental patience alone is no longer enough. You need endurance, tact, and another person who can explain a difficult task to a child. In this case, it would be wiser for parents to hire a tutor for their son or daughter to help resolve this issue in a positive way.

Is it possible to do lessons for money or gifts?

Recently, parents have begun to use a simple method of manipulation, which is simply called bribery. Its essence lies in the fact that a father or mother, without thinking about an objective solution to the question of how to do homework with a child, simply seek to bribe their child with various promises. It can be both sums of money, and just gifts: a cell phone, a bicycle, entertainment. However, it is worth warning all parents against this method of influencing children. This is ineffective because the child will start demanding more and more over and over again. There are a lot of homework every day, and now your child is not satisfied with just a smartphone, he needs an iPhone, and he has the right to it, because he is studying, fulfilling all school requirements, etc. And then, imagine how harmful the habit for their daily work, which is the responsibility of the child, to demand from their parents any handouts.

What should parents do? Psychologist's opinion

Experienced specialists in the field of psychology advise parents to help their child do homework. You need to help with a mind and a loving heart. In general, a sense of proportion is ideal here. In this case, the parent must be both strict and demanding, and kind, and fair. He must have patience, remember tact, respect the personality in his child, not strive to make a genius out of his son or daughter, understand that each person has his own character, inclinations and abilities.

It is very important to show the child that he is always dear to his parents. You can tell your son or daughter that the father or mother is proud of him, proud of his academic success and believe that he can overcome all his academic difficulties on his own. And if there is a problem in the family - the child does not do homework, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy in resolving it.

Finally, all parents should remember that children always need our support. Studying for a child is a real job with its problems, ups, successes and falls. Children change a lot in the process of schooling, they acquire new character traits, learn not only to understand the world, but also to learn. And of course, teachers and their closest and most faithful comrades, parents, should help children along this path!

Does your child enjoy going to school? Well, he's lucky. What if he doesn't like it there? If the diary is replete with bad grades and comments, lessons at school are daily torment, and homework stretches for the whole evening? Elizabeth Lucas, author of the book, tells how to help your child find himself and fall in love with school.

Should you praise children for their strengths? Twist your nose when they show their weaknesses? In no case! If your attitude is respectful, then achievement is not at all what society means.

Achievements that deserve our praise are always related to the conditions in which they were manifested. If an amputee swam 800 meters, he achieved more than a muscular athlete who swam 8 kilometers.

Genuine achievements are always an important evidence that a person has overcome himself.

If an alcoholic lived for six months in complete abstinence from alcohol, this is a real achievement. The same if the former thief lived a year, honestly working. Or if Casanova remained faithful to his wife. You can take your hat off to these people. Perhaps in an objective sense, life without alcohol, theft or debauchery is not an achievement, as it should be taken for granted, but for some people this is a great achievement, considering how hard it is for them to do what others seem to think is the norm. Their effort is what deserves respect.

Let's return to the giftedness profiles of children. Suppose a child has weak linguistic abilities. If he brought home a three in English, this means that he worked hard in order to pull up what he was weak at. This deserves recognition.

Now let's assume that the same child has exceptional abilities in counting. If he brought home a B in math, it means he was lazy because he could easily earn an A. But parents can behave incorrectly and start scolding him for a triple in English, not paying attention to the situation with mathematics.

What do children learn as a result of their parents making such a pedagogical error? They begin to think that no effort is needed in easy subjects, because even with mediocre success, they will receive parental approval. In those subjects that are difficult for them, they also learn not to try too hard, because they still cannot avoid criticism and discontent.

Fedor Reshetnikov. Again a deuce. 1952
Tretyakov Gallery

Do we want children to continue to have this attitude towards learning? Of course not! They should try, and in a constructive way: to rejoice in their talents and not despair about their weaknesses. Therefore, the rule should sound like this: encourage the strengths of the child and demand more, support his weaknesses and enjoy even the smallest achievements!

Of course, teachers cannot take into account their giftedness profile when evaluating student performance. They should measure all students with the same standard. If the student is too weak in some way, the teacher cannot repeat the material over and over again for him alone. On the other hand, what should a simple music teacher do if little Mozart is sitting in front of him?

The curriculum is aimed at students with average abilities. What the school cannot offer falls under the responsibility of the parents. They should not take school grades seriously, but their children's developmental potential. And in no case should they compare themselves with other parents, and the child with other children, even with brothers and sisters, even with a twin brother, because each person is unique!

There are two more important points: the attitude towards underestimated abilities and the attitude towards exceptional talents. Every person is deprived of some ability. Of course, there are "universally gifted" people who can achieve success in many areas, but almost any of us can be placed in circumstances in which we fail. However, adults pragmatically avoid situations in which their failure would be noticeable.

A young hostess who does not know how to cook deliciously will not organize a party at her home. A man with "two left hands" will not try to do repairs at home on his own. But the student is not allowed to choose those subjects that he likes best (with the exception of special schools). He has to compete again and again with more gifted classmates and listen to negative comments from the teacher.

Unless the student is in an unsuitable school (in which the requirements in all subjects turned out to be too high for him), he will have difficulties with only a few subjects, but even this lack can gnaw at his pride. In this case, the professional help of a psychologist, special exercises, similar to those used in the treatment of legasthenics, are very useful.

The best remedy is short, casual sessions with a specialist several times a week, which would be voluntary. It is great if children accept these forms of help. The reaction of the parents should also tell the child: “Be calm, in life you don’t need to be able to do everything. What you need, you will succeed, and at the same time it is not at all ashamed to ask for help.

On the other hand, everyone has talents and abilities that he is called upon to display for the benefit of himself and others. “In gratitude”, a person receives a healthy sense of self-esteem, confidence in the future, joy from success and self-realization. What we do, we do with pleasure. People who find themselves in their place are enthusiastically involved in solving the tasks assigned to them and are exceptionally productive. If from childhood to encourage in a person those areas of activity in which he shows talent, he will grow up happy. Indeed, in this case, nothing will stop him - we see this both in the example of geniuses and in the example of ordinary people who enthusiastically plunged into their favorite activities.

It is a pity that parents often make efforts to make up for the deficits of the child than support his talents and interests. It is also unproductive to load children with additional activities that do not interest them. Of course, you need to go through the stage of talent recognition, during which children will try to go to a variety of additional activities. And the school gives a good impetus here. A person must live creatively, using his talents, and if he has learned this from childhood, in the future all paths will be open to him. Joy will be his guiding star.

Do you want your child to have fewer problems at school? Then give him every opportunity to develop his talents and praise him for the most modest successes he achieves despite his lack of ability.

From the book by Elizabeth Lucas .

Our advice is for parents who are thinking about how to teach a child to learn in order to bring him up as a harmonious personality with a successful future.
Modern parents try to realize this goal in different ways. Some give a five-year-old kid just before entering the first grade to prepare for school, so that he has time to master the basic knowledge. Others from the first months carry crumbs to early development schools, not quite understanding what this early development gives.

In one case or another, loving parents try to motivate their kids to succeed in school. It has been proven by practice that this path is not always successful. If you see only external prerequisites in learning, such as obeying, fulfilling the teacher's tasks, etc., you will not be able to instill a desire, the ability to learn and do well at school in this way. How should a child be taught to learn so that he himself desires it, strives for knowledge?

Getting ready for school

In order for a child to have a craving for knowledge, this motivational readiness must be formed ahead of time before school. The main role for its successful formation is played by the words of parents and the games in which the child plays.

Some parents pass on their memories of school to their children, alas, not at all those that would serve to successfully motivate them to study. “For poor knowledge, you will get a bad grade”, “You can be scolded for bad behavior in class” - these phrases do not contribute to the desire to gain knowledge at school. The main goal of parents should be to create a positive image of the school.

If the baby attends an early development school, explain to him that he now needs to comply with the framework of behavior, tell him why this is necessary.
If your child is shy, help: support and join the process in the classroom, showing your interest in what is happening. If the baby does not want to participate in the task, do not press. Sit and watch other children. Perhaps soon the baby will want to get involved in classes, finding those that interest him, and will show a desire to learn and attend classes.

Why

To spark interest in learning, do not ignore the numerous questions of the baby, answer his “why?”, Finding answers to all his questions.
The thirst for knowledge is the basis on which the desire to study at school and acquire new skills is built. The ability to learn increases due to the development of the child's intelligence. The development of intelligence is the ability to think, perceive what is heard, evaluate, analyze - in the aggregate. All these processes begin to develop from the first months of life, and not before entering the first grade. Going to school, the child must have the logic of thinking and well-developed attention.

How to help the development of the child?

By adhering to some tips, you can achieve good results in the process of a child's play activity.

1. Spend any time spent together with benefit: discuss the features of the weather, seasonal phenomena, a plant or tree seen on the way to kindergarten. Introduce your baby to concepts such as color, shape, smell, etc.
2. Keep in mind that it is difficult for children to keep their attention on one thing for a long time. Therefore, do not get angry when he begins to be distracted by extraneous things.
3. Classes against the will will not bring success. Engage when the child is disposed to it.
4. Stick to activities that are appropriate for the age of the baby and he likes: modeling, drawing, games, applications, etc.
5. Knowing what tasks the baby can cope with, let's give him a little more complicated ones.
6. A smooth transition from play to study takes place a year before entering first grade, but not before.
7. Classes should be regular.
8. Criticism of the actions and successes of the child is unacceptable. Praise and encourage your little student for small but real achievements.

Will training

Volitional control of one's behavior will help to form a desire for learning. The school obliges to adhere to certain rules of behavior, which is not always easy for the baby. Teach your child to set a goal and strive to achieve it, evaluating the result at the end.

The ability to be friends

Teach your child to build relationships with peers, to live in a team. do not protect him from communicating with peers, let him learn the skills of communicative communication.

physical health

Monitor the physical health of the child, temper it. Let him fulfill the daily routine, avoiding overwork from the newly introduced activities.

Together with your child, rejoice in his small successes and victories, encourage his craving for knowledge. Comprehensive development of all areas of activity will help the harmonious development of the individual.