How to make the right choice between two men. How to choose between two men

Not every girl can boast of having a lot of fans. However, sometimes the situation develops in such a way that two fans appear at once. The young lady begins to be tormented by the choice between two men. As a result, she still has to break someone's heart, since in such an ambiguous story there are always two winners and one loser.

Coming to the right decision when choosing between two men can be difficult, as there are many parameters to consider. Below you will find practical advice on what to do and what to look for when you have to choose between two men.

Good guy or bad guy

One of the most effective ways to choose between two men is to make a list of the positive and negative qualities of each. Think about the features of their appearance, tastes, behavior and other criteria that you consider important. Make a list for each. Then weigh the results and determine the winner. Just remember that there are many other factors that also need to be considered. However, making such a list is a good starting point to choose between two men.

Compatibility of women and men

Every time you are faced with a choice between two men, watch each of them. Compare characters, temperaments, worldview, tastes in music and art, love for pets, and so on. Think about how a particular candidate matches your own tastes, how much you yourself are ready to share the position or hobbies of a particular man.

Compatibility is not only what binds you in bed. If you notice that many things or hobbies of one of the candidates seem strange to you, or you are not ready to share them, make a choice in favor of the other, no matter how strong the sexual attraction between you is.

obligatory

A real man is characterized by how he treats his own obligations. This includes how he talks to friends or subordinates, members of his family, how he fulfills promises made to other than you. If the choice between two men is relevant for you, you need to make sure that you choose a partner who is able to build a long-term relationship.

If you don’t know if he had such an experience in the past, if the candidate cannot show you friends with whom he has maintained relationships since childhood or at least from the institute’s bench, you may be disappointed in the near future.

Hopeless characters and bad habits

Nothing betrays a hopeless character better than having bad habits. Particularly relevant here are alcohol or drug addiction, extreme views (regarding religion, race, gender or politics), what is called “male chauvinism”. If you find such signs in one of the chosen ones, it is better to stay away from such a man.

Social adaptation of a man

If you are with your companion in public places, you will want to be proud of his social talents and achievements, as well as the ability to present himself in society. When you feel at ease next to your companion in public and among your friends, as well as his friends and acquaintances, you may have made a good choice.

Does a man make plans for the future

Living for today like tomorrow never comes, that's ok. However, if you have slightly different views on life and how you should treat it, it is better to choose between two men who have a clear and realistic idea of \u200b\u200bhis own future, including his ideal place of work, residence , family and so on.

Talk discreetly about this topic with each of your two fans, and only then decide whose vision of the future appeals to you more.

Man's ambition

What does it mean to be the "perfect guy"? Dreaming about high goals or making sure that goals are achieved and dreams come true? If this question is rhetorical for you, choose a man with the most daring ambitions.

Signs of jealousy in a man and in you

This is a two-sided problem. First, you must make sure that the man of the two you choose between does not show any signs of deviant jealousy. If there are such signs, then everything will get worse and worse, draw conclusions. Second, listen to your heart.

If you're staying with one of your men while simultaneously feeling like you're cheating on the other, it might be worth opting for a second suitor.

your own freedom

When you are young and love freedom, no one has the right to limit it. If one of your two men is trying to impose any restrictions on what you do and how to behave, think about whether you want to exchange freedom for new rules? Analyze how each of your fans respects your personal freedom.

Use your imagination when choosing between two men

This method will require a little imagination from you. Think of two of your men and imagine that you are going to travel with each of them for at least a month. Then you will have a wedding. Then there will be children. How do you feel when you imagine with one of them? Are your feelings different? Which fan brings you more joy when you think of a future together?

Test your men

It sounds a little cruel, but there is no better way to check how much each of the two men you choose between is ready to endure your whims and tantrums. Arrange for each of them unexpected tantrums, “please” with a sudden change in your mood, be arrogant or sarcastic. Watch your and male reactions. Rather, the man who can handle your little test is the best fit for you.

How do you feel about little lies?

The choice between two men is difficult. Especially if in the process of such a choice you have to communicate with both at the same time. In this situation, you can not do without small deceptions. Listen to your feelings. Your reaction will show you which of your two fans you take more seriously if you have to go to small tricks in dealing with them.

listen to your heart

Considering the various ways when you have to choose between two men, you should not lose sight of such a feeling as ... love. Of course, if you realize that you have fallen in love with one of your two admirers, the problem of choice will go away. Only for this you must carefully listen to your heart and be fully aware of your feelings.

Soul mates

You cannot always be guided only by reason when choosing between two men. If you feel that you have found your soul mate in one of them, even if it does not meet all the criteria for your selection, then so be it. Don't be shy and make a choice. All you can do in this case is wish you the best of luck on your incredible adventure!

your inner voice

When there are no other options left to choose between two men, listen to your intuition and use the full power of your sixth sense to decide who is worthy of becoming the best partner for a girl like you.

Article author : Margarita Degtyareva, Moscow Medicine ©
Denial of responsibility : The information provided in this article on how to choose between two men is for guidance only.

Every girl wants to be loved and desired, but not always, in the end, it brings her happiness. Especially when there are two fans, and she does not know with whom she wants to stay. In such situations, lovely ladies begin to rush between young people, not knowing whom to choose. In this case, it is always necessary to be extremely honest with yourself and with your fans. And also look at the situation objectively and not allow yourself to think out something that is not really there. It often happens that fans are absolute opposites. Roughly speaking, one is a handsome prince, and the other is a mysterious robber. In such situations, many young girls choose the “bad” guy, and after a while they regret it very much. Therefore, sometimes when choosing, you need to listen to rationalism.

How to choose one of two guys and not regret your decision later? First, it is always necessary to analyze the actions and deeds of young people. Many women in the initial stages of a relationship like the mysterious machos who appear out of nowhere and disappear into nowhere. With such a man, passions are constantly felt, and this is interesting. But, as practice shows, if a guy behaves like this all the time, soon a woman simply gets tired of such behavior. Because, all girls naively believe that "bad" guys always become good, like in movies and books. This is wrong. Therefore, if the choice is between a mysterious macho and a kind, calm, ordinary guy, it’s better to take a closer look at the second one. Often, it is these young people who become ideal fathers and wonderful husbands.

When choosing between two young people, you need to carefully listen to your feelings that each of them evokes. It happens that a girl stays with a young man, because she just feels sorry for him, and she cannot reject the guy. In fact, such sacrifices do not benefit anyone. As a result, sooner or later a woman begins to feel the desire to still find someone she will love, and not pity. She becomes angry with herself and transfers her negative feelings to the young man. Such couples break up in a hundred cases. And then, women are very sorry that they broke up with men they really loved, simply because they did not want to hurt someone. Therefore, it must be remembered that in this situation altruism is inappropriate.

To know how to choose one of two guys, you also need to understand why a woman needs to make such a choice. It happens that a lady begins to have feelings for a second young man, simply because she lacks something in the first. As a result, it begins to seem to her that she is in love with the second, but, in fact, she simply wants to find the first in him, with additional qualities. If in such a situation you choose a second guy, it may happen that over time, the girl will understand: she still loves the first one, and she made a huge mistake. Therefore, in such a situation, she must honestly answer herself why she responds to the advances of the second young man. If she really understands that she simply fell out of love with one and fell in love with the second, then it’s time for her to break off the relationship that has exhausted itself.

Well, in the event that she concludes that she is simply suffering because she lacks something in the behavior of her young man, the best way out is to have a direct conversation with him. In a relationship, you can always change something and find a compromise, the main thing is to talk and try to understand each other. In general, very often girls begin to choose between guys only because they cannot learn how to solve problems and discuss situations. It is easier for them to seek solace on the side, where they seem to be better understood than to try to build healthy, adequate relationships through full communication and discussion of situations. In this case, the girl may decide that the first guy does not understand her and go to the second, but in the end the situation will repeat itself and this will continue indefinitely.

A lot more girls think about how to choose a guy from two than it might seem at first glance. Simply, many are afraid to speak about it out loud, believing that such behavior is wrong. In fact, this situation can be viewed from different angles. If a woman does not date either of the two, she is not to be blamed for. She really has every right to look closely at young people and choose the one with whom she is better and more interesting. But, in those cases when a woman takes a lover or takes courtship, being already with someone, she still needs to think about morality and hurry with the choice. Moreover, in addition to all of the above, there is one most important criterion by which you can always evaluate your feelings for another person.

If a girl can't choose which young man she wants to be with, all she has to do is ask herself: who can I not live without? Let this question sound a little pompous, but it is he who helps to put all the points. If you imagine yourself in all the colors of life without one guy and without a second, you can immediately understand which of them really is the one, and with whom the relationship will eventually come to a standstill. By the way, when asking themselves such a question, many girls are very surprised, because it turns out that they love not at all the one they thought. When choosing one guy out of two, you must always be honest and frank with yourself. If you don’t lie to yourself and don’t try to be led by feelings, pity, resentment, and so on, you can always understand who is really a part of life, and who is just a fellow traveler who will get off at the next station.

"The heart of beauties is prone to treason" - the character of Verdi's opera "Rigoletto" is sure of this. Obviously, the Italian composer was a wise man, because the same hero in the plot is also distinguished by an extremely unstable character. And such windiness, unfortunately, was and remains a common feature. People who are accustomed to the attention of the opposite sex are especially guilty of it. After all, popularity gives great pleasure, gives you the opportunity to feel your own relevance and significance, even if it is illusory. Heartthrobs prefer not to think about this nuance, as well as the fact that this state of affairs cannot last forever.

Sooner or later, even the most seasoned deceivers have to make a choice in favor of one person. It is not easy to make it, just as it is not easy to give up old habits and the exciting risk of exposure. But it is impossible to sit on two chairs, the fall can be very painful. Moreover, the situation does not concern chairs, but living people whom you bring suffering with this uncertainty. This realization of your own dishonesty, and after it - an understanding of the inadmissibility of the current situation, should be your first step towards correcting it. And since we are talking about such personal situations, we can assume that a young and rather inexperienced girl in matters of the heart needs advice. Mature ladies prefer to solve such problems on their own and do not need outsiders' tips. But they will not interfere with those who cannot decide and close an ambiguous situation.

A difficult choice between two guys is a fairly common situation. Perhaps this fact will slightly lift your spirit, tormented by constant hide and seek. But that's where the good news ends. Then begins the confusing and, perhaps, slow decision-making process. And if you expect that it will consist only in considering candidates and between good and even better, then you are deeply mistaken. This will be serious work. And above all, above yourself. After all, it was you who created a dual situation, which means that the cause of indecision must be sought inside.

What to do with yourself

Accept yourself. Each person has the right to his own path, independent choice and inevitable mistakes. And if your hesitation is not a manifestation of malicious intent, but only an internal uncertainty, then it is unlikely that someone will immediately condemn you for cruelty. People tend to doubt, and first of all, in themselves. Hence all other doubts. The main principle that you should be guided by in order to prevent too serious consequences was formulated by the well-known humanist Emmanuel Kant. In a simplified version, it can be conveyed by the words "never treat a person as a means." This is a very abbreviated and paraphrased wording, but the essence of the idea, most likely, is clear to you. In other words - take care of the feelings of others, and especially loved ones, people.
Understand your desires. Most often, uncertainty arises from a lack of understanding or even a lack of specific goals. So honestly answer yourself the question: what do I want? From life in general, from relationships now and later, from a loved one? The answers, if they are sincere and complete, will help you understand in which direction the path to the implementation of the tasks lies. You can consider that this is your master plan of action, at least for the near future.
Get ready for the pain. You and the young people you choose between will have to experience it. One of them will have to hear a refusal, and the second will find out that, although he emerged victorious from the rivalry, he was not the only guy in your life. Men, especially young and ambitious men, are painfully endure such discoveries. As for you, it is highly likely that thoughts will creep in from time to time that you made the wrong choice. And the candidate who “dropped out” of the game is actually smarter, stronger, more successful than your chosen one. These moments are inevitable, because people are not perfect, and all of them, at least occasionally, disappoint us. In such situations, it is helpful to remind yourself that you are not an angel either and that you may have deserved what is happening.
Possibility of error. Nobody is immune from mistakes. And there is a small, but real probability that the decision made will bring not quite the results that you expected. You can only take this philosophically, and subsequently make any choice more deliberately.
Life goes on. Whatever decision you make is inevitable by the very existence of the dilemma. So, it’s worth at least relaxing and not winding yourself up and the situation even more. If only because it is much easier to think with a cool head and the probability of a correct decision in calm circumstances is much higher. You have the right to even take a kind of time out and avoid close communication with both guys for a while. Such tactics will help you cool down from passion, calmly think without pressure from outside. And in general - the big is seen from a distance.

What to do with them
It's never too late and never too early to take care of yourself. To do this, you can find the right time, a secluded place and an adequate mood. It is more difficult with other people: they are far from always ready to share their experiences, especially in such a sensitive issue. Therefore, you will have to act prudently and very carefully in relation to their emotions. Ideally, so that none of them would guess that a settlement of the conflict between the two sides is taking place in your soul. This will at least soften the blow a little and help avoid a showdown with those who will stay with you.

Trust your intuition. Surely you feel more affection for one of the two, and the second seems more reliable and devoted. Follow your heart. After all, even the most decent and faithful person cannot make you happy without your reciprocal feeling for him. You choose not a quality refrigerator, but a hearty friend. It should be comfortable and calm, cozy and warm with him. And leave forecasts and guarantees of stability to household appliances.
Remove one. Mentally. Imagine that he left forever, turned out to be an adherent of a non-traditional orientation, or fell in love with another girl. Then do the same in your mind with the second candidate. In these fantasies, you will miss one of them more than the other. He should be preferred, because it turned out that it is easier for you to refuse his opponent.
Write lists. There should be two of them (or as many as the guys claim your heart), one for each. List in detail the best qualities of your opponents: character traits, life prospects, and most importantly, their attitude towards you. If this does not help, write lists of shortcomings that are as fair and accurate as possible. Such characteristics will prompt those arguments "for" and "against" that could previously escape attention.
Ask for advice. But only with the closest friend, who definitely won’t spill the beans to a third party. Or a sister, mother - in general, the person who sees your communication with both guys from the outside and can draw objective conclusions. Pay attention not so much to direct advice (it is better to avoid them), but to the opinion of how you look in a society of young people. How often do you smile or, on the contrary, frown, how do you behave, how relaxed, in what mood do you remain. “Your” person is someone you get along with and feel at ease and flirtatious with.
Don't get hung up. The truth is multifaceted, and often it lies in the fact that you need to look for it elsewhere. And if your true love were among your friends, you would have no doubt. And if “you both want and prick” - then, perhaps, you don’t like any of them so much that you refuse all the others. In this case, you can either continue the non-committal flirting, or stop dating both applicants and find a third one. But already the only one, with whom no one can compare.

There are many more ways to resolve doubts: all kinds of checks, observations and face-to-face confrontations. All of them are tricky in their own way and boil down to trying to get the guys to solve the problem for you. Women in general are very inventive in that regard. But a decent person should have enough of the proposed methods to understand his own soul and make an honest, responsible decision. As a result, the very completion of a dishonorable situation will bring relief and inner peace.

A huge number of women do not suffer from loneliness, but, on the contrary, do not know who to choose from the many admirers. If through reflection it was possible to single out two leaders, then it remains only to conduct a “duel” to determine the winner.

Two new acquaintances
Tips for choosing men
Reviews and comments

How to choose between two men?

Many ladies are quite normal about the fact that several men are caring for them at once. In most cases, the argument is this - one partner is not able to provide everything necessary for a happy life, and this applies to both the moral and material aspects.

Even if such a situation is beneficial at a certain stage of life, then in a few years, when you want to start a family, you will have to make a choice. To make it more clear, consider two popular scenarios for the appearance of two contenders for the heart on the horizon.

The return of a former lover

A fairly common situation is when a woman, after parting, began a new relationship, and then suddenly a former lover knocks on the door again. In this case, a huge number of questions and doubts arise about who to choose: a man with whom many events and feelings are associated, or a new lover, with whom the story is just beginning and everything is fine and promising. Note that if such a situation arose, it means that we can definitely say that the point in past relationships has not been set and feelings have not cooled down.

To understand for yourself who you need to choose, you should give yourself answers to some questions:

Because of what the separation happened and what did not suit the former partner. It is important to understand if nothing has changed and a similar situation will happen again, whether you can come to terms with it;

Is there a fear of opening up to a new person and building a new strong alliance? Keep in mind that often women are able to idealize past relationships, but if you try to remember everything like that, then not everything was as beautiful as it seems;
Make a list of the positive and negative qualities of both partners, but do it as truthfully as possible. Or write a list of characteristics that an ideal man should have and compare each partner according to it.

Thanks to such work, a woman will be able to understand from whom to receive love and with whom it is better to build a truly sincere relationship. Remember, there is no 100% guarantee that exactly the chosen man will make you happy, because relationships are the work of two people and no one knows what might happen tomorrow. Psychologists do not recommend procrastinating and postponing a decision for the future, because this will only aggravate the situation and in the end you can lose both, left with nothing.

Two new acquaintances

When figuring out how to choose if I love two different men, it is worth understanding another popular situation when two men with whom there is no history in the past are courting a woman at the same time. In such situations, most often the fans are the absolute opposite of each other, for example, one is romantic, and the other is brutal. Start by analyzing the actions and actions that men perform, not only in relation to you, but also to other people.

Here, more than ever, the well-known proverb fits - "Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are." Then you should think about what kind of relationship you want in general. For example, with a "bad guy", most likely, you will not be able to spend an evening watching a movie or watching a sunset. Relationships in such a pair are more like a volcano that regularly explodes. If a woman is not ready for such a union in the future, then it is not worth starting a relationship, since such males do not change.

It will be possible to choose a worthy man only after you manage to understand yourself. It is necessary to think about what exactly attracts in each partner, since many ladies often wind themselves up that they like some kind of man.

Thanks to a simple analysis, it will be possible to draw conclusions that will help the right choice. Psychologists say that sometimes it’s enough to talk frankly with a man, to say what is missing in a relationship, and then the choice will not need to be made.

When a woman faces a difficult choice, you can turn to the advice given by professional psychologists. They will help you analyze the situation and make a decision.

Imagine the future with each of the partners. Think about what kind of man will be a husband and father. Can you count on a happy future;
Get to know friends and relatives of contenders for your heart. The environment will help to better understand how a person behaves in different situations;
Sometimes, to decide who I love, it's enough just to trust your intuition. Just try to feel who exactly your soulmate is;
Sometimes, in order to understand with whom it is worth staying, you need to be alone. You can go on a trip and after that make a choice. Moving away from everyone, you can understand who is really needed.

By the way, I would like to recall the old wisdom that says that if you don’t know who to choose from two lovers, then stop at the second one. This is explained by the fact that if a woman loves the first man, but will never pay attention to another.

Now you know how to choose the right one of two men, but remember that you should always be honest and open with yourself. Be sincere, and then you will certainly be able to build a strong and happy relationship.

Someone will say - "to love two at once is promiscuity." And someone will say - "Great! Double portion of attention! And someone will even say that this is not love at all, since you are drawn to two sides at once. And only one in a thousand will understand how hard it is when the heart is torn from love at once for both men.

What to do? How to choose one of the only two of them?

Testing Yourself - 8 Methods for Choosing Between Two Guys or Men

If the heart does not want to be determined at all, and the spiritual weather vane is spinning like crazy, it makes sense to test yourself and make the task of such a serious choice easier.

We appreciate the positive qualities of each ...

Does he have a sense of humor? Can he cheer you up, and does he understand your jokes? A person with a sense of humor looks at the world in a completely different way and charges everyone around with his optimism.
What do you feel when he touches you? And is he able to restrain himself in the manifestation of feelings?
What are his interests in life? Is he a purposeful person with his own outlook on life or a bore who values his own comfort more than anything in life?
How does he act when someone needs help?? Is he in a hurry to help without hesitation, or is he pretending that this does not concern him?
What exactly attracts him to you(besides your appearance)?
How much time does he spend with you? Relishes every minute, stretches out the pleasure, hurries to you right away, as soon as you have a free “minute”? Or is he in a hurry on a date, constantly looking at his watch, leaving immediately "after ..."?
How often does he call you? Right before you arrive with a brutal “Baby, I’m coming over today”? Or, barely having time to go beyond the threshold, with a sigh - “baby, I already miss you” and almost every hour, just to find out how you are?
Does he flirt with other girls in your presence?
How does he treat children?

Assessing our own feelings...

How do you feel when she calls or sends a message?
Do you feel “at your place” and “at ease” next to him?
Does it make your heart beat faster with just the touch of your hand?
Can you imagine being with him in your old age?
Does he accept you for who you are?
Do you feel next to him that “wings open” and “you want to live to the fullest”?
Or are you next to him, like a shadow or a bird in a beautiful cage?
Do you feel like you are getting better around him?
Does it support your desires and aspirations in development?
Do you feel special, most loved and desired next to him?
Without which of them do you suffocate, as if you cut off the oxygen?

We evaluate the negative sides of both ...

Does he have bad habits that annoy you?
How jealous is he? It is bad if he is not completely jealous - either he is disingenuous, or he simply does not care. It is also bad if jealousy goes off scale, and every passer-by who briefly smiles at you runs the risk of getting in the nose. The golden mean here is the very thing.
Does he care what you wear and how you look? Of course, every man wants his woman to be the most stunning and beautiful, but a mature man usually hides the long legs of his half from other people's eyes and disapproves of short skirts, too bright makeup and other charms.
How heavy is the burden of the past behind him? And if "very heavy" - will it interfere with your relationship?
Does he try to control you? Or is he always looking for a compromise if a controversial issue arises?
Is he able to admit that he is wrong?
How often does he have outbursts of unreasonable aggression?
Is he able to take the first step towards reconciliation if you had a fight?
Did you notice lies behind him? How candid is he with you? How high is the level of trust between you?
Has he told you about his past love? And in what tone? If he remembers the former too often, most likely, his feelings for her have not yet cooled down. If he remembers with "bad words" - it is worth considering. A real man will never say bad things about a former passion, even if she gave him "hell on earth."
If you get sick, does he run for medicine and sit by your bed? Or waits until you get better, occasionally sending SMS “Well, how are you doing”?

Appreciate the feelings of both ...

How deep are his feelings for you? Is he ready to connect his life with you forever or is your relationship superficial and based only on physical attraction?
What is he willing to sacrifice for you? Will he be able to rush after you if you suddenly decide to study / work in another city?
What might be his reaction if you decide to break up with him?“Come on, goodbye” or “What happened?”? Will he immediately disappear from your life or will he fight for you? Of course, you don’t need to ask - just try to imagine such a situation and its consequences.

Help the hall or call a friend

If you have a trusting relationship with parents share your problem with them. They will surely tell you how best to proceed, and express their opinion “from the height of the past years” about both candidates for your heart.

can talk and with friends but only if you trust them 100 percent.

And the decision, of course, is still up to you.

Making a list...

How are they similar to each other?
What are their differences?
What exactly do you feel for each (describe each feeling)?
What qualities do you like in them?
What qualities do you absolutely dislike?
Which one do you have more in common with?
Which one of them would you most like to wait for after work with a delicious dinner?
Which of them would you like to introduce to your parents and relatives? And how can parents perceive each?

Throwing a coin...

Let one be tails and the other heads. Throwing a coin, follow your thoughts - who exactly do you want to see on your palm?

Let's not rush...

Don't try to find a solution immediately. Give yourself (and them) some time. Take a break from both for at least a week - which one will you miss more? Just don't drag out this selection process for too long.

And if your relationship has not yet crossed that very border of intimacy, do not cross it. Make a choice before you realize that one of them has been cheated on.

The choice between the two guys is made - what's next?

If the decision is really made, it's time to part with one of them. No need to leave it "in reserve" - tear it right away. In the end, if she both dream of living with you until old age, then torturing both of you is simply unforgivable. Let go of the one you care less about.
You do not need to tell him when parting that you have a “different”. Do it as gently as possible. It is unlikely that he will be delighted with your confessions, but it is in your power to soften the blow. Try to make friends.
The feeling of emptiness from the loss of that second one is normal. It will pass. Relax and don't beat yourself up.
Thoughts like “what if I made a mistake?” also to the side. Build your relationships and enjoy life. Never regret anything. Life itself will put everything in its place.
Accept that some of you three will get hurt. It won't work otherwise.
If your conscience is tearing you apart from the inside, and a solution doesn’t come by any means, and they, among other things, are also best friends, then part with both. This way you will provide yourself with a very solid "time out" to sort out feelings, and will not become a wedge in their friendship.

And in general - listen to the heart! It doesn't lie.