How to save a family and make it stronger after the birth of a child. Features of relationships in a couple after childbirth. Psychological unpreparedness for parenthood

If, after the birth of a child, relations with her husband deteriorated, this is not unusual. I would even say that this is normal, because when a child appears, especially the first one, the relationship between husband and wife changes. They themselves change, their roles change, and the relations between them inevitably change. The problem is that, as a rule, people enter the role of parents, being unprepared. The child is born, and his mom and dad did not even know what big changes await them.

In this article, I will tell you why your relationship has deteriorated and how to fix it, becoming happy parents not only for the child, but also for each other. Do not waste time, do not take it to extremes, after which it will be impossible to return the relationship. Read and act now.

The main reason for the breakdown of relations

When a woman gives birth to a child, her main role in the family changes. She used to be a wife, but now she is a mother. And almost all her attention, tenderness, love and care pass from her husband to her child. The man is not ready for this, he does not understand what is happening. And this is what happens: a woman’s maternal instinct turns on, a cardinal restructuring of the hormonal system takes place in the body, and indeed all systems, the woman becomes more sensitive, vulnerable, and by all means, first of all, protects her child.

For a man, all this causes discomfort, he may begin to be offended, swear. His anger may be unconscious, he may conflict with his wife over some abstract things, sometimes over trifles. He probably does not understand and does not accept the situation as it is. All the attention and love of his wife evaporated somewhere in an instant, and now she is not at all up to him. He tries to return this attention unconsciously, with the help of scandals and protests.

And the wife, meanwhile, had just given birth. She experienced severe stress, which risks turning into postpartum depression. Plus, the child takes her a huge amount of time and effort, she does not get enough sleep and gets very tired. The cardinal upheaval that took place in her soul and body, and constant fatigue provoke anger. The result - scandals begin in the family, risking turning into parting. According to the website prosud24.ru, according to statistics in Russia, every second marriage breaks up after the birth of a child.

A child is a kind of test for a couple. And half of them fail this test. For many couples, at the time of the birth of a child, the relationship is not yet sufficiently reliable, safe and stable for such an important step. Before the birth of a child, any couple needs to build a solid foundation of relationships. But without knowing it and thinking that they are ready, the husband and wife have a child, and this often leads to sad consequences.

And why is it so important to make peace with your husband during this period?

3 simple reasons to reconcile

Reason #1: The happiness of the family is the happiness of the spouses

The happiness of the family in which your child grows up is built primarily on relationships with your husband. When communicating with a child, you form a model of the mother-child relationship. And communicating with your husband, you form a model families where your child lives. Thus, the happiness of your family is not based on how you raise a child, but on what kind of relationship you have with your husband.

Reason #2: Child's happiness

The child feels from the very first birthday how you and your husband interact with each other, and learns from your example to communicate with others. The future family of your child and, in general, his entire social life depends on the example of your communication in the family. If a child grows up in a happy family, sees how mom and dad interact with each other, he will be 99.9% happy in his personal life in the future. And about what will happen in the personal life of a child in the future, if in childhood there is no example of harmonious relationships before his eyes, read.

So, if you want your child to be happy, create a prosperous family and live in joy, you need to improve relations with your husband now, and this is a paramount task that is equally important for you and for the child.

Reason #3: Happy old age

Sooner or later, your child will fly away from the nest, and you will be left alone with your husband. Your future life depends on how you build relationships now. At the moment, you have moved into the role of a mother, but this does not mean that the role of a wife should be forgotten. Women who have been in the role of a mother all their lives literally end their lives when the child leaves the family. From this moment until the end of her life, a woman does not live, but simply lives out her life. If you do not want such a fate for yourself, do not forget for a day about the role of a wife.

How not to get divorced after having a baby

As a rule, men are poorly informed about what happens in a woman's body, in her psyche after the birth of a child. At this moment, she needs support, support and attention more than ever. The husband, seeing how she runs after the child all day, perceives this situation as a loss of his wife's attention. The main reason for divorce in such a situation is psychological immaturity.

People enter a new phase, have a baby, without building the right relationship with each other. Their relationship is not mature, they have not learned how to be partners for each other. Being partners in a relationship means understanding and supporting each other, feeling what is happening with the other person and knowing what you can do for him. It also means that the spouses are attentive to each other, they are interested in the emotional state of each other and do everything in their power to make the partner feel good.

If this does not happen, the woman's condition is at risk of turning into postpartum depression. You can read about what it is and how to deal with it.

If you weren't able to build partnerships before the baby was born, learn how to do it now. How to do this, as well as how to improve relations with your husband - read on.

The two main functions of the family

The institution of the family was created in order to fulfill two main functions. The first function is reproductive, that is, procreation. And the second function is for the child to receive a model of gender relations, so that he himself can build a happy family in the future and continue the family.

You have fulfilled the first function in your family. Now let's figure out how you can complete the second one so that your child can create another full-fledged unit of society in the future.

After the birth of a child, relations with her husband deteriorated - 2 ways to save a family

So, we come to the main thing. After the birth of a child, the relationship with your husband deteriorated? Read on for two guaranteed, proven ways to fix them:

Method #1: One hour support

After the birth of a baby, a woman more than ever needs support, help, support and attention. But a man often does not give her all this. The fact is that he, being at work, often does not see and does not suspect how much strength it takes and how exhausting it is to take care of a baby.

So, tell your husband about how hard it is for you right now. Talk about how you feel. The husband, not seeing the whole picture, cannot imagine what a job it is to be a mother, especially at the very beginning of a child's life. Tell him everything he doesn't know about.

Involve your husband in childcare. After a frank conversation, ask him to be in your role for at least an hour a day. At this time, you can afford to take a relaxing bath, go for a manicure, take time for yourself.

This method has two bonuses. The first - a man changes places with you and comes to the realization of how difficult it is for you. It becomes easier for him to understand you. And accordingly, he learns to support you. And the second - by devoting time to yourself, you are doing something based on, which means you are filled with energy, become happier, and you have something to give to your husband. Read on to learn how to start building the most harmonious and happy relationship. So, just one hour a day - and the husband now understands you better, and you are happy and filled with energy.

Sex after childbirth

In the first few months after the birth of a child, a woman moves away from her husband. This is due to her physiology. This is how nature intended: a woman needs to protect and feed her baby, and her whole body and psyche are completely focused on this. Her body is completely switched off from sexual life. After the birth of a child, time is needed to restore the body, and sex during this period will only prolong the recovery process. Therefore, estrangement from the husband during this period is a normal stage, a necessity for the successful completion of the postnatal period.

Ideally, this issue should be discussed with the husband in advance, because, as a rule, men, not knowing that after childbirth they need to endure a period without sex, can not stand it and have a mistress or even get divorced.

When a child is already two months old, he begins to separate himself from others, to see and feel objects, to distinguish between mom and dad. During this period, parents can already at least one hour a day look not at him, but at each other, and gradually restore their sex life. Come back to each other gradually, and in time everything will work out.

When will relationships be the same as before?

After the birth of a child, the relationship in a couple takes on a different quality. A third appears between them. A man and a woman have acquired a new status, they are now not just a couple, they are parents. Relationships become different. New values ​​appear in them, such as respect, the ability to listen and appreciate each other, and the distribution of areas of responsibility. Relationships mature.

You are at a new stage in a relationship, and trying to bring them back to the first stage of falling in love is just stupid. You can find out at what stage of the relationship you are now.

Each period of family life has its pros and cons. At each new stage, relationships acquire new qualities, and trying to return the old ones is like trying to stop growing and developing.

Don't try to stop time. Everything in this life changes, and will never be the same as before. Instead of trying to bring back the past, improve your present.

Conclusion

In this article, two ways were presented to your attention to restore relations with your husband after the birth of a child. You also learned about the reasons why it is important to build relationships for you and for the child.

If, after the birth of a child, relations with her husband deteriorated, this is normal, there is nothing supernatural in this. You have changed, your relationship with your husband has changed, your statuses and roles have changed, and most importantly, another person has appeared in your family.

Don't try to get the relationship back on track. Line them up in a new way, make them better, better, closer, warmer. And about being in a relationship, oh, oh, oh, read in my other articles. Learn to build healthy, mature and long-term relationships.

And don't forget to get my book How to Love Yourself. In it, I share the most effective techniques with which I myself once raised my self-esteem, became confident and fell in love with myself. This book will become your personal assistant on the way to a happy relationship with your husband, will allow you to raise a confident child, and in general will make your life happier. Just take this step!

If you need individual help in getting your relationship with your husband to be even better than before, you can contact me for psychological counseling. I will help you bring happiness back to your family and make it strong and harmonious.

You can book a consultation with me via in contact with, instagram or . You can get acquainted with the cost of services and the scheme of work. You can read and leave reviews about me and my work.

Subscribe to my Instagram And YouTube channel. Improve and develop yourself with me!

P.S. Remember that all your child needs are happy parents. What makes you happy is your relationship with your husband. By adjusting them, you will give your child a happy childhood!

I believe that you will succeed!
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova

The birth of a child often provokes a crisis in the relationship of spouses. Two adults begin to behave like little offended children in relation to each other. There are many reasons for this:

• everything for the first time, everything is difficult, incomprehensible, difficult, new
• physical fatigue accumulates from an unusual regimen and schedule
• roles change and a new object of care appears, in relation to which again it is necessary to share responsibilities
• lack of time to communicate with each other
• selfishness of each of the partners who wants to own his beloved alone and entirely
• "rose-colored glasses" of expectations and our unwillingness to become parents
• a sharp change in the role and priorities in a woman's life, the child comes first, and the husband must be patient
• male misunderstanding of the situation from the inside - after all, at first they are on the rights of an observer, and they really cannot understand a lot
• our upbringing, in which a woman all the time strives to earn love in any way, bringing trophies, which is why it is so unbearable for her to sit “idle”
• social stereotypes that a mother is not a job and not so serious, so a woman is obliged to do something else besides a child
• our childhood traumas - and the traumas of our mothers, from which we cannot feel like mothers

The list of reasons can be long. But more often than not, every couple is going through a crisis. Yesterday there were two of them. He she. Oh, and her beautiful belly. They held hands and dreamed of an idyllic threesome. But everything turned out differently.

A man was born with his own desires. Can't communicate with words - yells. He needs a mother all the time - she will leave - he yells. Of course, he doesn't always sleep well at night. It is impossible to live with him at the same pace - at least for a while. It is difficult to plan your time with him. Nothing has time - even wash your hair. No time to talk. She gets tired – both physically, but more emotionally. He misses his wife. Outwardly, she is not in the best shape - she simply has no time to even apply cream. And the child grows, sleeps less, demands more, defends his desires, boundaries ...

It is difficult to maintain a relationship under such circumstances. To do this, the spouses must have a dialogue, the ability to hear each other and respect under any circumstances. But how many can boast of this?

Sometimes it seems that everything will resolve itself. But it won't melt for sure. At this time, the most terrible situations can happen. Simply because everyone lacks attention and love. For example, a husband's infidelity often happens during this period, when he is forgotten and abandoned, no one needs him. Remember yes, this is the basic need of a man. At the same time, a man can become very aggressive - if his wife and child are too attached to him and do not allow him to stay “in the cave” for a minute and collect his thoughts. Freedom is also a basic need for a man.

People who once loved each other move away, accumulate grievances, claims. They don't say anything, they just pout.

“If you love, you will understand everything, you will understand why I didn’t say a word to you in the evening,” the woman thinks.

“Thank God, she is finally silent!” The man rejoices inwardly.

But the longer she is silent, the more resentment she will accumulate. And then he will turn out to be a callous cracker who does not love her, does not appreciate and does not notice.

And it may also be that the husband comes home in the evening, but there is no one to talk to. The wife is busy with the child, life. Dinner seems to be there, but in general it is that they themselves did not finish it, because “you come late, you didn’t wait.” They have some kind of world of their own, they feel good there together, they go somewhere, they have their own circles with the same mothers. And he seems to be redundant. Unless you bring money - and that's enough for you.

Or another option. A man works, brings a salary, receives a standing ovation and the gratitude of his wife for this. And the wife? Every day she works no less, sometimes even more. Doing the same thing over and over, groundhog day. But her work is invisible to the eye. The husband came home - and the house is a mess. He does not know that an hour ago she washed everything to a shine, and then a child came running, and while she was preparing dinner for him ... Well, you probably know what is hidden behind five minutes of silence.

And now the husband comes home from work, in the evening, she is very tired, she tried very hard. And he says to her: “Why is there such a nightmare at home?” That is, not only does the wife not receive gratitude for her work, she is not appreciated, but they are also reproached. What will she want? Of course, go to work and get a standing ovation once a month along with your salary.

These are typical situations that I have heard a million times in different versions, and I myself have visited each of them more than once. There are many other stories, the essence of which is the same. Spouses have ceased to value each other, to appreciate each other. They stopped investing in their relationships, got confused in their old and new roles, do not hear each other and do not understand. They completely forgot how to talk to each other, they don’t even try to understand the other, they stand in the head of expectation and demand instead of giving.

What to do? Let's talk about what to do to a woman whose family is in crisis. And even better, what to do so that the crisis passes you or passes as easily as possible.

1. Take his place.

I often try to explain to girls the side of my husband. She is completely different. From the very conception, we begin the transformation, we already feel the child, our world changes for 9 months. For a husband, the world changes overnight. And not on the birthday of the child, but when he brings his wife from the hospital.

Previously, he had just a slightly plumper wife, in whose stomach gurgled and forced her to eat tons of strawberries. And now this belly has become a new person who doesn’t need a dad at all yet, but a mother, that is, our man’s wife, is constantly needed. And he has to give it up. After all, he can endure, cook himself, fall asleep himself. But a child cannot.

Of course, men should also try to imagine themselves in our place and in our groundhog day, but more on that later. First, try to understand how your husband's life has changed. Understand it and think about how you can compensate for it.

It is important for us to first understand the position of the husband, his difficulties, experiences. And then try to bring your own. Only in that order.

1. Talk.

It is most important. Learn to talk about your experiences, difficulties. Learn to do it in a dosed and delicate way. Learn not to dump everything on it, but only the most important. Talk about your worries. Learn to do it so that a man can listen to it.

And share the joy with him. If we can still complain to our husband, then sharing the joy is already more difficult. Tell about the achievements of the child, show him a video and photo of the success of his baby or baby. And also emphasize the similarities - “he does it just like you”, “he has a look like yours”, and so on. To make a man feel his involvement with the child. That the child is common.

1. Ours, not mine

This has already been said, but I will emphasize again. Try both in your head and in your speech to make your child yours, not yours. When you talk about him to your friends, doctors, relatives, when you affectionately name the child. Let the husband always hear the word "our". Ours is what unites us. The one for which we will do something together, in which we invest together. We are full-fledged founders, having equal rights and obligations.

1. Time for you two

Find it. Build. Let this be the ritual of evening tea after the child falls asleep. And if he woke up - they laid him down again - and returned to the same point. Everything was put aside for this time - computers, dirty dishes, telephones. And just the two of us. Watch a movie together, just hug, talk heart to heart, read aloud, play games, massage each other… There are many options. It is important that you have that time.

To do this, it is not necessary to leave children and run to the cinema, theater, go on vacation. Most likely, your heart will be out of place due to a breakup with a child, and you will not get any pleasure. When the child is already a year or two, why not try sometimes in the evenings to go somewhere together. But understand that you can spend time together at home. And much more interesting. It's easier to organize, you just need your desire, discipline, habit - and a little imagination.

1. Call for help

Don't underestimate your dad's help. Let him clumsily hold the child, put on the wrong side of the diaper, choose clothes strangely. Who cares! How else can he learn everything? Just like that, by experience. It's good for both of them. We love more those we care more about. Give your husband the opportunity to love the child more!

And by the way, in this place, the statistics are very interesting that the dads who took part in childbirth, at least helped their mother in labor, adapt to a new role easier and faster, they have better contact with children and more help from them. Because they “invested” in the child already at the stage of pregnancy and childbirth. Therefore, as often as possible - to take, bring, help with boots in the last month, buy that very strawberry. And then, of course, thank you. Be sure to give thanks.

1. give thanks

I will even highlight this as a separate item. Give thanks because it's never too much. To all the women who complain about their husband, I say that it's time to keep a diary of gratitude to your husband - and every day write at least 10 "thank you" in it for today. at first they are so hard to see and record! But gradually we become more empathetic, we thank more often - and we have more reasons for this. And of course, the husband feels needed again.

1. Leave him some space

Another important need of a man is freedom. And if before the birth of children we are ready to put up with fishing and football, then a lot is tabooed later. But a man, deprived of the opportunity to be his thoughts and other men, quickly loses the most important thing - the feeling of his love for his wife. Alas, it is. He becomes aggressive, irritable. It is impossible to communicate with him, it is also difficult to ask for help.

This is a signal that it is high time for him to “go into the cave”, but for some reason he is not there yet. Maybe you banned it and just looked disapprovingly. Or maybe he has this sense of duty and guilt inside him, which prevents him from leaving you alone with the baby. Help the man. Come to terms with his hobby and bless him for “time off”. Help him, initiate his departure "to the cave" yourself.

Because if you don't like his fishing or football, he can find other forms of care - alcohol, other women, computer games ... Do you need it? Maybe fishing, paintball, karting, football, friends and just an hour of silence alone at the computer are better?

Respect his personal space. From his "cave" he will return full of strength, and love for you will also increase in him. Check.

1. Don't forget about yourself.

Pamper yourself, take care of yourself. Look for opportunities to look the way you want. Don't make the excuse of being pregnant - stop eating cake. And yes, wash your hair. Wear nice clothes at home. If you like yourself and your husband, you will have a completely different mood, verified.

Do what you've always wanted to do. Between a manicure and a clean floor - choose a manicure boldly. Maybe after him there will be enough strength for the floor. If the husband went into the "cave" - ​​find something to your liking, ask your friends to help, chat with them. Time will pass unnoticed, you will gain strength - and here is your husband. In the daytime sleep of a child - no need to cook and wash dishes. Better do what you love that gives you strength. Lastly, take a bath.

The more energy you have, the calmer the child will be, the more relaxed your husband will be with you, and the more happiness you will experience. Great excuse to reprioritize your schedule, right?

And yes, love is not something that comes by itself. It is strengthened when we care for another person, when we move from the position of “give me happiness” to the position of “keep happiness”. When we stop being consumers and start creating, increasing and sharing happiness.

The birth of a child can be the final point for someone, a question mark for someone, a comma for someone, and only the beginning of an exciting love affair for someone. You choose your own option. And even if the crisis has come - remember that you can change a lot, and a lot - in your hands and the strength of your heart.

And when a child appears, love becomes twice as much, at least twice. And this love can unite you and your husband, connect and fasten your union better than any glue. Not the children themselves, but your love - for them and for your husband through them.

When a child is born, the family always falls apart in order to accept a new person into their ranks and gather in a different way, in a new way. It won't be like before. It will only get more interesting and magical. Give your fragments a chance to stick together - and help them in any way you can!

What's happening

It would seem that future parents were looking forward to the birth of the baby, but as soon as the first cry of a newborn was heard in the house, problems immediately began. Marriage after the birth of a child is no longer the idealistic relationship that the spouses had before. Husband and wife can no longer devote enough time to each other, and only a few minutes remain for themselves. Together you can move mountains: go to a nightclub, camp in tents, visit museums or just lie in bed. It is almost impossible to do this with a baby. If a woman, due to natural characteristics, can understand such changes, then a husband, becoming a father, experiences severe stress.

Representatives of the stronger sex are the same children. They love to be looked after, surrounded by love. Men are very sensitive to the appearance of a competitor in the house. The attitude of the husband towards his wife becomes more selfish: he is more and more dissatisfied with the fact that his beloved spends all the time with the baby, expresses negativity about the mess in the house, changes in the appearance of his wife. He does not understand that it is very difficult for a young mother to rebuild her life, and at the same time also to acquaint the little one with living conditions unknown to him. So that the crisis of relations does not reach its climax, it is necessary to show wisdom and begin to strengthen the family even before the baby is born.

We draw up an action plan

• Changing perception. A man after the birth of a child does not understand that life has changed. The woman who worked before the decree is completely immersed in another world: she takes care of the child, thinks how to make the baby happy, takes care of the health of the little one. And the newly-made daddy still continues to go to work and communicate with colleagues. How can you understand the reasons for the changes in family relations?! Open your husband's eyes: ask to spend time with the baby, tell your loved one about the new achievements of the crumbs, introduce daddy to household chores.
• We follow emotions. Young mothers are susceptible. This is due to hormonal changes in the body. Pay attention to yourself. Analyze what is happening, why mood swings become more frequent, irritability and tearfulness appear. Do you not like that your husband demands attention, without noticing your fatigue? Tell your loved one directly that you do not like. Don't wait until the "boiling point" is reached. A man does not live by conjecture, he needs facts.

• Resting. Quarrels after the appearance of the baby in the spouses are becoming more common. Fatigue is to blame, which, like a snowball, falls on young parents. Mommy spins around the child all day, dreaming of relaxing, shifting the responsibility for caring for the baby to daddy, who will come home from work in the evening. But the man gets tired too! Spouses need to sit down and talk. Make a rest schedule. For example, on one weekend, mom will work with the baby, and on the other, dad. On weekdays, each parent will be given 40-50 minutes to communicate with the baby in order to “unload” their soulmate.
• Introducing dad and baby. What should a husband do after childbirth if his wife does not let him near the heir even a centimeter? Make no mistake: the sooner dad gets to know the baby, the stronger the family relationship will be. If you see that your loved one is not touched by every movement of the little one, does not take him in his arms, this does not mean that he does not love his child. Representatives of the stronger sex are less emotional than women.

• Sex after childbirth. “I fell out of love with my husband after the birth of a child,” many mothers complain, completely unaware that they are talking nonsense. They didn’t fall out of love, but they didn’t learn to combine different life roles. After the baby was born, you received a new status as a mother, but at the same time you did not lose the position of a loving and beloved wife. What kind of sex can we talk about when the child takes all the strength?! More about what! One woman had a wise mother-in-law. One day she told her son: "If you want a wife in bed, don't sit on the couch." True, right? Imagine you spend the whole day spinning around the little one, cooking, cleaning the apartment, while your beloved is silently watching you. Why not ask him for help, saying: “Darling, how I miss you, if only I could spend half an hour together, but I spend this precious time hanging up my son’s washed diapers.” Surely the husband will perk up at the thought of intimacy and help with household chores.

The long-awaited moment has come in the family - the baby was born. But along with joy, new worries and sleepless nights came to the house. The young mother is very tired, and the father is immersed in solving material problems, which have become even more. Your life will no longer be the same, there is more than one person in the family who requires constant attention. How to deal with all this?

Changes in husband's behavior

Causes

Dreaming of the birth of a baby, the future father could hardly imagine how this event would actually change his life. Now there are three of them, the wife's attention is entirely directed to the child, she has no free time at all, her intimate life is clearly lame. But he is a man, where can he compete with the crumbs! Nevertheless, you want attention, there is no one to complain to, and there is no point, you need to hold on, and this can be difficult, because he is also not made of iron. A burden of material worries has fallen on the young dad, he must work and pay attention to the family, it is really difficult for him, he can be understood.

What does it look like

These changes can look different, it all depends on the temperament of the person. One becomes irritable, the second begins to spend more time outside the home, the third endures everything very steadfastly, but runs the risk of falling down from fatigue.

What to do

To improve relations with her husband, the wife needs to pay attention to him, otherwise the consequences can be unpredictable. For starters, let him look at the world through his eyes: he works, takes care of his family, almost never rests, and she always has no time for him. It would be nice to offer him at least a little rest - let him go with friends to a bar or go fishing. In the short time of his absence, nothing will change drastically, and a change of scenery will do him good.

The husband should feel needed, remind him more often with words and actions that you love him, even the strongest man really needs this. And the time will come to help you - the child will not always be so small and require the continuous presence of the mother. With time everything will get better!

Changes in wife's behavior

Causes

After an exhausting pregnancy and childbirth, a woman's body is very weakened and needs to be restored, and with the advent of a baby in the house, one can only dream of rest. Every 2-3 hours the baby needs to be fed, it is not always possible to rock him right away, sleepless nights add fatigue and irritation. The woman herself suffers from the fact that she cannot spend as much time with her husband as she would like, but she is not able to break between the child and the man she loves. This period of her life is very difficult for her.

What does it look like

Often, the accumulated fatigue results in tantrums, tearfulness, claims to her husband. This annoys the man, he is looking for a way to distract himself, and the wife ends up getting even angrier. She expected support and understanding from her husband, looking at such a reaction, she considers herself lonely and abandoned at a difficult moment.

There are very calm women who keep all experiences deep in themselves, trying to be strong. Such endurance can play a cruel joke with them, turning into an illness or a nervous breakdown later.

What to do

In the first months after childbirth, a woman most of all needs rest. The kindest thing you can do for her is to let her be alone for a while. Take a walk with the stroller, and at this time she will be able to recover at least a little after sleepless nights or take care of herself. Unload her for a day from household chores, order pizza, for example, so that she does not cook. For such care, your wife will be very grateful to you.

Most importantly, be patient. Gradually, she will move away from childbirth, the baby will grow up a little, his sleep pattern will normalize, and it will be much easier for both of you.

How to mend broken relationships

It happens that such a joyful event as the appearance of a child in a family turns into a crisis for the relationship of the spouses. It is necessary to look for a way out together, because in this situation there is no one to blame, both sides suffer. Try to pay more attention to each other, find time to talk about painful things, treat each other's feelings with understanding.

Great benefits for the whole family can bring joint outdoor recreation or a walk. The main thing is to notice all the changes in the mood and behavior of your other half and take measures in time so that the relationship does not deteriorate completely.

How to Maintain a Good Relationship

If the birth of a child has not affected your marriage in a negative way, just try to keep the relationship the same. One way or another, the appearance of a baby in the house is a big change in the life of the whole family. Be more attentive to your spouse, sometimes deep inner feelings can be hidden behind external calmness. There is never enough love and understanding, and there are no people who do not need it.

With the advent of a child, the whole habitual way of life changes. In this difficult period, it is so easy to forget why you decided to start a family in the first place! Very often, spouses begin to quarrel over trifles, stop paying attention to each other and lose the main thing that connected them - love.

But if you try, you can adapt to the changes and make the relationship even stronger and deeper than before. We publish valuable tips from the Babygogo website.

Before you were just a couple, and now you have become parents. It's a welcome change, but it also comes with a lot of challenges and unexpected surprises. Taking care of your newborn can negatively affect your health and peace of mind, disrupt your sleep and wake patterns, lower your energy levels and, most importantly, worsen your relationship with your spouse.

For most new parents, this means a complete lack of time to be alone. Sometimes it comes to the fact that they don’t even have the opportunity to calmly look into each other’s eyes and hug. Everything is done in a hurry or forgotten. Couples who have recently had a baby often ask themselves how to maintain a strong relationship when everything goes into meeting the needs of the baby.

There are several good ways to express your love and take care of each other. Use them more often! This will ease the hardships of parenthood and help maintain harmony in the family.

How was your day? What's interestnig?

For the past four years, I have been asking my husband every day, “How was your day? What's interestnig?" With no exceptions. It may seem too monotonous, but, fortunately, we never got bored. Apart from some really dull days, when there was nothing exciting to talk about.

Moms love to listen when their kids discuss the day's events and their school life. Thanks to this, the child feels that he is being taken care of. The same applies to new parents. When you spend time with your partner, exchange work updates, share your feelings and worries, or retell interesting conversations with friends, your bond grows stronger.

Share parenting responsibilities

Men tend to prefer to stay away. They think that a woman, since she is on maternity leave, has enough time to do all the housework and take care of the child. At the same time, they completely forget that every mother needs a break.

Ask your husband to help you. He is quite capable of babysitting, diaper changing and bottle feeding while you clean up or drink tea. By doing this, he will not only unload you, but also strengthen his connection with the child.

According to doctors, a calm mind is the key to a good restorative sleep. Do not hold grudges in yourself, share your feelings with your partner and let him respond. This will ease the tension.

Don't worry about the little things

If you put off washing dirty dishes for later - that's okay! If you meet up with friends you haven't seen in four months and leave your child with a relative, that's fine! If you missed a feeding time - that's okay! If the husband forgot to pick up clothes from the dry cleaners - that's fine! If your mother-in-law made an inappropriate comment - that's okay! Yes, it's all right! Life is short. Take things easy.

Family is not an ordeal. Of course, it requires some effort, but at the same time it gives so many joyful, wonderful moments! So don't stress over the little things. Do not meditate on every trifle. You are a wonderful mother, wife, daughter and possibly daughter-in-law. Stop blaming yourself for everything. If you let the little things bother you all the time, they will consume your life.

Cultivate Sincerity

Be frank, then your love will blossom and you will never lose the freshness of feelings. If something is terribly bothering you, open your heart. Don't keep it to yourself, otherwise an explosion will follow later.

Find time for each other

It doesn't matter how busy you are. Use every opportunity to be with each other and enjoy life, because you have only one! The baby will take almost all of your time and energy, this cannot be avoided. But there is no need to give up the general leisure that you are used to.

Get creative

Surprise! This is one of the most important tips! Do spontaneous and unexpected things, such as:

1) Look at your spouse in the office, if he is nearby.

2) Prepare a cake or dessert that you haven't made in 2 years - something that your husband has always loved and ate on both cheeks.

3) Update your wardrobe. Buy an eye-catching dress and wear it to the next party you go together. Try to look younger. Feel younger. Soon your husband will start showering you with compliments. You may even blush and find that your feelings are as fresh as 9 years ago.