How do Turks get married? Why do Turkish men love not Turkish, Japanese or Arab girls, but Russians

Unique and charming, a country located at the crossroads of continents and cultures, religions and ethnic groups. A country in which the Middle Ages and modernity coexist, ancient traditions and modern rhythm. This is Türkiye, a state located in Europe and Asia. Ancient Istanbul (Constantinople), modern Ankara, wonderful beaches of the Turkish Mediterranean and resorts - Marmaris, Antalya, Alanya and the legendary Troy. And also - more than a hundred beautiful cities, each of which is charming in its own way and attractive in its own way.

Türkiye is a fairly developed country. The Western way of life here is in many ways superior to the Eastern mentality of the locals. The latter call themselves Turks relatively recently, and earlier they were proudly called Ottomans. Militant and prudent, the Ottomans were able to annex to their empire a lot of lands conquered from their neighbors, primarily from Byzantium, the decline of which occurred at the time of the heyday of the Ottoman Empire.

Is it possible to live in Turkey, you ask. And we will confidently answer: you can live in Turkey, and you can live well. There is everything for a quality life here: inexpensive high-quality food and clothing, a mild warm climate, very, very intelligent people and a favorable geographical position between Asia and Europe.
However, not all residents of this colorful country live very well. The Turks have enough problems. In particular, a huge percentage of the population lives below the officially established subsistence level. The brilliance and poverty here are pronounced enough not to be noticed. The rich in Turkey are very rich and the poor are very poor. Look at any shopping district, and you will see poor fellows carrying huge carts with bales in a stream of cars for mere pennies. These are porters delivering goods to customers. They cost resourceful merchants much less than the cheapest delivery.

According to various sources, from 30 to 40% of the Turkish population cannot read and write. Paradox? No, rather, a national feature.

However, there is also a Turkish middle class. These are small business owners, engineers, doctors and lawyers. These are officials of a rank above the average and bank employees, managers of large hotels and administrative staff of industrial enterprises. The vast majority of these are educated, cultured people who are well versed in art and politics, often and for long periods of time abroad.

Marrying a Turkish citizen is not a problem or nonsense for a Russian woman. In principle, such marriages are by no means an exception, but a long-established rule. Every year, the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Turkey issues hundreds of residence permits for foreign wives of Turkish subjects, most of whom are our compatriots. Many of these families are truly happy and live very, very well in Turkey. And some break up within the first year, or even after a couple of months. Why? There are actually several reasons, we will try to describe the most typical of them.

Attitude towards Russians

"Natasha" is a universal appeal to a Russian, Ukrainian, Moldavian, Belarusian woman, adopted in Turkish trading circles. Men are most often referred to as "colleagues". Why? No one knows. However, Turkish men really do not like it when their Russian wives continue to be called natashas. Although the Russians who live permanently in Turkey differ sharply from tourists and shuttle traders, and, accordingly, they have a different attitude towards them and other, more civilized, forms of treatment. In principle, there is nothing too offensive in Natasha and colleagues. But not for the Turks themselves. They put a special meaning into these words, emphasizing their own significance and making friendliness superficial, clearly sham.

However, despite the traditional Turkish snobbery, Russians are treated normally here. Our people are well known and well understood by our mentality, habits and traditions. If in a certain society one of ours is not accepted, then this is not due to misunderstanding. And rejection happens, and often.

The Turks are a rather ancient people, with their own foundations and traditions, which have changed little over the years. The national cuisine, the manner of spending weekends and holidays, the rhythm of life and the intra-family way of life remain the same as they were at the beginning of the 20th century.

The widespread myth that Turkey is a place of concentration of professional residential, in fact, turns out to be only a myth. In fact, young Turks who are actively looking for girlfriends are most often mistaken for professionals. Like all Eastern peoples, the Turks are characterized by increased sexual activity, especially in their youth. Hence the stormy beach romances, and all sorts of legends about the extraordinary male power of Turkish womanizers.

However, residents of large cities have been living in a Western manner for quite a long time, adhering little to the old canons. If your husband is a native of Ankara or Istanbul, then most likely he is a completely modern person, and his parents will not look at you as a representative of another civilization.

This does not always apply to residents of small towns and villages. There are still strong traditions and prejudice towards foreigners in general and towards Russians in particular. The Russian wife of a local resident will be considered by those around her as almost a prostitute who has turned around an unfortunate, narrow-minded fellow villager. It will take a lot of effort and many years to break the stereotype. Moreover, the stereotype can be broken only in relation to oneself, other Russian wives will be perceived in exactly the same way.

And since many small towns are located in resort areas, their inhabitants have seen enough of our compatriots and their habits of stormy and not always moderate rest. Hence the suspicious attitude towards the "Natashes" who marry their relatives.

Often Turkish parents do not accept their sons' Russian wives, and such families are forced to live separately, away from their father's house. If in such a family the relationship is truly kind and sincere, the husband will relatively easily overcome the difficulties associated with the deterioration of relations with loved ones. If not, the case will most likely end in divorce.

Recreation and traditions

Turks go to visit with or without reason. Most often, they do not warn about the visit in advance, but simply run into the light. This feature of the Turkish character is strongly opposed by most foreigners, even Russians, who, in principle, until recently acted in the same way.

In principle, a Turkish family can not only “fill up” on a visit just like that. They themselves are ready to receive guests at any time. It is not customary to set tables here; fruits, obligatory tea, soft drinks, and sweets are put on the table.

Residents of Turkey do not really like to spend their holidays abroad, perhaps because there are more than enough picturesque places in the country that offer holidays for every taste and budget. If the Turks go abroad, they most often go to work. Often, not only money is brought from long voyages, but also foreign wives.

The average urban family willingly visits restaurants. As a rule, they try to choose a well-known establishment not far from home, where they have been going for many years, they know the owners well and generally feel at home.

Beach holidays are the lot of single Turkish men. Family access to the beach, in principle, is a rare phenomenon. Why? Very simple. Turks go to the beach to get acquainted. However, having a Russian wife and enough tolerance, a Turkish husband will still go to the sea, although not very willingly.

money question

Salary in Turkey is such a flexible concept that it is almost impossible to derive its average framework. Most of the employees employed in trade earn a percentage of sales. The salary of production workers depends on qualifications, on the state of affairs in the company, and even on the geographical location of the enterprise. Usually workers are paid from 200 to 500 dollars (the upper bar is very rare).

The largest salaries of unskilled personnel are in trade and tourism. A seller in an average Turkish store receives 300-700 dollars a month, an animator in a good hotel - 300-500. Almost all stores practice a system of bonuses and rewards, when the seller receives a small percentage of each sale. Considering the volume, the salary with bonuses can reach a thousand or more. But getting such a job is not so easy, especially those who speak Russian are in demand.

A lot of Turkish citizens work abroad. These are Germany, the States, and, of course, the former USSR. Turkish companies build residential buildings and various facilities - stadiums, hospitals, hotels, production workshops. Salaries working abroad can reach 1000-1500 dollars per month. Of course, this is the best way to characterize the state of the finances of the average Turkish citizen. It is logical to assume that a person traveling to distant lands to work in construction for an average Moscow salary is not prosperous.

If your chosen one is not a very wealthy person, then you will most likely have to look for a job. As mentioned above, knowledge of the Russian language is considered a great advantage. It is worth paying attention to hotels or shops in areas where visitors from the CIS countries traditionally buy.

Expenses

Turks, for the most part, are not very tight-fisted. It is customary to save here when money is really not enough. The average Turkish family tries to live as well as possible - to have a normal car, to make good repairs in an apartment or house.

Since Türkiye is famous for its light industry, there are no problems with buying clothes here. If your spouse has many friends and good acquaintances of entrepreneurs, most likely you will be given discounts in their stores, and the discounts are significant. In Turkey, it is generally customary to make discounts in exchange for discounts - this form does not imply significant savings, but it makes it possible to get moral satisfaction from the process itself, and to both parties.

In addition, money is spent on food and trips to restaurants, on gifts to numerous relatives, and on jewelry. Turks prefer gold. Products made of noble metal are usually given to relatives and loved ones for birthdays and anniversaries. Especially often they give gold for a wedding. Even not very rich people try to buy a massive product as a gift in order to throw dust in the eyes of other guests.

As elsewhere in the East, Turkey respects gold of the 750th test and above (18+ carats). It is considered prestigious to give the bride a 900 gold ring (21 carats) with a large stone, or a massive chain with a large pendant.

585 gold standard is used only among visitors. Turks rarely buy such products.

Utilities, rent, expenses for food and clothing, payment for medicine, which in Turkey, although paid, is not very expensive - these are all the expenses of an average Turkish family.

Housing problem

In Turkey, it is customary to live in your own apartment. Wealthy people try to buy or build their own house. Living in a rented apartment is considered a temporary state, and the Turkish family literally goes out of their way to save money for a house or apartment.

Utilities in big cities are not very expensive, about the same as in an average Russian city.

There is no hot central water supply here as a class, a water-heating tank is installed in each apartment, and solar collectors are installed on the roof to heat water from the sun. On the one hand, such a system is very economical - with more than 250 sunny days a year, electricity is saved, and hot water heated during daylight hours is more than enough for a day. The disadvantage of such an autonomous system lies precisely in autonomy - the maintenance and repair of a solar boiler falls on its owner. In addition, at negative temperatures, and night frost in Turkey in winter is no, no, and it happens, the water in the collector can freeze and break the thin walls of copper pipes. In this case, quite expensive parts will need to be replaced.

Living in the same house with her husband's parents is a dubious pleasure. Even if the spouse's family is very intelligent, you should not have any illusions - the difference in mentalities and habits will do its job, conflicts are inevitable. Anything can serve as the cause of the conflict, from a dirty plate left behind to spices not added to the dish. Spoiled, according to the mother-in-law, lunch, which the "inept" daughter-in-law treated her husband and father. Also, an item of underwear left in a conspicuous place can cause an uproar, and sometimes a serious scandal.

Often, trying to please the mother-in-law and please the family, the daughter-in-law incurs even more anger. Should the father-in-law praise the daughter-in-law's cooking, or God forbid, her appearance, she becomes, in addition to everything else, a source of jealousy. In general, life in an oriental family is unlikely to suit your taste.

Therefore, try to find out if your chosen one has the opportunity to settle separately from their parents, and if not, do not rush to make a decision to move.

Children

Turks love children. The offspring are pampered in every possible way, without refusing almost anything. However, upbringing in Turkish families is quite strict.

Religion in Turkey is separate from the state. Therefore, the school curriculum does not include the lessons of Islam. And yet the influence of religion is felt, and cannot but be felt in an Islamic country. Be prepared to have a male child circumcised at the age of twelve. The procedure is not pleasant, but it is performed by experienced specialists who have performed tens of thousands of such operations. However, modern families in large cities increasingly prefer to have circumcisions in clinics.

If you have children from a previous marriage and you want to take them to Turkey with you, keep in mind that the children's team accepts newcomers, and even more so foreigners, very, very suspiciously, often with hostility. It is necessary to pay attention to this problem, to communicate more often with teachers, with the parents of other children. It is better to establish friendly relations with several families whose children are in the same class as your child, go to visit them with your son or daughter and let them communicate with their peers in an informal, so to speak, setting.

The language barrier is a small problem. Usually children learn a language very quickly, much faster than their parents. It affects the usual children's curiosity and spontaneity. But at first, language can become a serious obstacle and a source of all sorts of misunderstandings. To avoid most of them, give your child maximum attention, and ask your spouse to engage in language with him.

Problems of misunderstanding and rejection by Turkish society can accumulate like a snowball. As a result, if you miss the problems of communication between a child and peers, you can get very big trouble.

In the event of a divorce, children traditionally stay with their mother. Unless the family of the ex-spouse has a very large weight and influence, and the mother, accordingly, does not have a controversial reputation. However, the removal of a child after a divorce is a frankly difficult procedure, requiring the consent of the ex-husband, which is very difficult to obtain. The fact is that the Turks really love their children. And besides, to lose an heir, letting him go to a distant snowy country, is considered a great shame. Of course, they won’t talk about it in the eyes, but they will whisper behind their backs.

Citizenship

Türkiye recognizes dual citizenship. The question is whether your country recognizes it. The Russians have no problem with this, but Ukraine has recently adopted a new law, according to which Ukrainians who have become subjects of foreign powers must renounce Ukrainian citizenship.

Marriage with a Turkish citizen is an argument for obtaining Turkish citizenship from the point of view of the state. It is enough to live in an official marriage for three years, and you can apply for citizenship.

Children from previous marriages are also eligible for Turkish citizenship on an equal footing with a mother who marries a Turkish citizen.

Conclusions.

The main sign of a prosperous blended family is great love. Only if you truly love your chosen one, and if he shows reciprocal feelings, you can count on the success of a Turkish marriage. Marriages of convenience usually fail, and it makes little sense to simply go abroad on your husband using a Turkish citizen.

Turkish men are storytellers. Stories about a magnificent villa on the coast, a luxury car, a prestigious job, in fact, can turn into a wretched rented apartment in the shopping district of Istanbul, a broken "dacha" and a position as a salesman in a fashion store.

Try to find out which region of the country your chosen one is from. If it's a big industrial city, it's all right. If this is a village or a remote area - a reason to be wary and carefully look at the manners and style of the future spouse.

Discuss immediately the possibility of living separately. Remember that the best relationships with your husband's parents are formed at a distance. It is better to visit each other than to live under the same roof and adapt to the mother-in-law.

If your children come to Turkey with you, pay maximum attention to their problems and urgent needs. The main thing for your children is relationships with peers. It will be - the rest will follow.

Before making a decision to move, think about whether you are ready to change your lifestyle, many habits, traditions. You will have to adapt to local customs, give up much that you consider natural, and accept much that is unusual and strange.

Türkiye is a warring country. Firstly, Turkish units are involved in almost all conflicts in which NATO takes part. But the most important thing is not this. Most importantly, there is a compulsory conscription in Turkey. Conscripts, especially those of non-Turkish origin, cannot advance even to the level of sergeant in the army. And there is nothing to say about the officer rank, since military schools that train officers are accepted from the age of 14-15. All this suggests that your son from a previous marriage will not only have to go through a rather harsh path of integration into Turkish society, but also serve a military service.

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Interview: Anastasia Chukovskaya, Elena Gantimurova

Alena, 48 years old, Antalya, Türkiye

About love

Elena with her husband, 2004Photo: from personal archive

I was 36 years old, I held a large position in a commercial firm in Moscow. I was married for 17 years, two children finished school. Once at work they gave me a bonus: “Keep a ticket to Turkey, finally have a rest.” I had a great time on the beach and participated in local entertainment, such as the Turkish Night, which takes place in caravanserais. This is a great event to experience local cuisine, Turkish songs and dances. There were about 600 of us in the hall. It is still a mystery to me how, having accidentally looked into the hall, he spotted me in the crowd. And I didn't even notice him. The next day, a representative of the travel agency found me, invited me to go to their office. I came, there a serious intelligent man was waiting for me. We talked to the best of my ability with my clumsy English. I did not attach importance to this meeting, but we exchanged phone numbers.

When I got home, he started texting me. To be honest, it was very nice. By that time, my marriage was cracking at the seams, for many years I had a bad relationship with my husband. But I threw myself into work: early in the morning I ran away to the office, returned late in the evening and tried to drive away the thought that this should be somehow resolved. At some point, I began to understand that children are growing at an incredible speed, soon they will have families themselves, and with whom will I stay? With a man who drinks beer in front of the TV and also drives me back and forth? I went to divorce.

This is what happens in novels. My Turkish friend flew to Moscow and almost at the gangway presented me with a diamond ring with the words: "Marry me." When my relatives found out that I was going to drop everything and go to him in Turkey, they thought I was crazy I must say that I answered “yes” out of politeness - the person tried, he chose the ring, he had to say something. I decided we'll figure it out. I could not imagine that at this moment my fate was being decided. At the same time, he was still married then, and I did not believe that he would take and divorce. But that's exactly what happened. When my relatives found out that I was going to drop everything and go to him in Turkey, they thought that I was crazy.

About moving

I flew to Antalya before the New Year. I fell out of the plane with a huge number of suitcases, the largest one had kilograms of Russian books. 10 years ago, they did not use all these readers, into which you can upload as much literature as you like. And I also had a huge box with a Chinese Christmas tree, because the New Year is coming soon. He said, "You're crazy." We were driving home, and trees with red oranges grew along the road and there were small fir trees in tubs: “Let's buy a live one and plant it in the garden? Why do we need your plastic one?

About politics

We've been talking about what happened the last few days. There is a pluralism of opinions in our family: my husband is saddened that a long-term friendship ends like this - on Turkish television, without cutting anything out, they showed Putin's synchro about "stab in the back." But at the same time he jokes: but, he says, if you don’t go to Russia now, they won’t take it. And my father-in-law from the center of the country is adamant in his loyalty to the AK party. We live in a region that thrives on tourism, Russians are known here - a lot of joint businesses, so setting our Turks against Russians is quite difficult. But in Turkish villages, where not a single Russian has ever been, they watch TV, and they are shown a rally of some politician who says: “This is not the first time this has happened, we have been sending notes of protest for several weeks, we warned, and now this happened , we were just defending our borders,” and the crowd applauded in response. What will the audience's opinion be?

About the consequences

The reaction was not long in coming, hotel reservations around were being canceled, planes from Russia arrive almost empty. Local travel agencies are going to get rid of extra employees by the end of November, these are mostly Meskhetian Turks and Russian girl guides. An acquaintance told the story of her friends: a Turkish husband, a Russian wife with a common child flew to Moscow. At customs they said: mother and child can pass, but you are not desirable. The family did not separate, they returned back to Turkey. In neighboring Belek, the golf courses are empty, and after all, every year at this time, football teams from Russia came there for training and competitions.

With Turkish relatives, 2005Photo: from personal archive

My husband is a doctor, a respected person in our coastal region. In the summer, there are many patients from Russia in our clinic, but if they do not come, we will survive, of course: people from all over Turkey come to us for treatment.

About fear

At customs they said: mother and child can pass, but you are not desirable It seems to me that fear of ISIS (a terrorist organization banned in Russia - TD) is spread in society, it is felt. No one here is ready to put on a veil, although we have many different Muslim groups. But my Muslim friends always emphasize: we are for peace, human life is valuable, and no matter whose it is. Where in the Quran does it say that we must kill? Everyone is nervous, the other day they showed on Turkish TV the arrest of two journalists for publishing an article that the government had ties to ISIS. On the other hand, the gendarmerie conducts raids, suspected IS links are checked by the police.

About national differences

We didn't have a question of religion. My husband and I are both secular people, I am a Christian, he is a Muslim. For us, this is not a conflict situation. I wear long skirts, but I dressed like that in Moscow too. Yes, I had a hard time getting used to some things, for example, greeting elders. I could not approach, kiss the hand of a person and touch my forehead with it, I had some kind of barrier. But now this is how I show love and respect to my elderly father-in-law: it took me ten years to do it. I got used to and appreciated the traditions that my husband adheres to. We always have dinner together, and nothing from the outside world should distract us from a joint meal. I have yoga in the morning, so I don't have breakfast, but I always sit with my husband while he eats: this is our time. In Moscow, I myself changed the wheels of the car, but here it is unacceptable: there are women's affairs, and there are men's. Dealing with a car that was evacuated to a fine parking lot or that needs to be replaced with candles is not my business, but my husband's. And nothing else.

Lilya, 45 years old, Oba, Türkiye

About love

Lily with familyPhoto: from personal archive

My husband and I have been together for almost 12 years, our daughter is nine. I am from Voronezh, my husband is from Kirsehir, it is 100 kilometers from Ankara. I worked in a travel agency, I had business trips to Turkey. He worked for this company as a driver. At first we corresponded, often did not understand each other due to inaccurate English. We walked towards each other carefully, as if through a minefield. My future husband took a ticket and flew to Russia to show his serious intentions - with a ring and a bouquet for my mother. I was perplexed - we have such a language barrier, I speak English, he is in German, we practically cannot talk, but here it is.

A year later, I flew to Turkey for work and to see him. Summer is a very difficult season for work, so we rarely met, went to a restaurant, tried to communicate. The contract ended, I had to fly home, but he persuaded me to try to live together. I was worried, I had a distrustful attitude towards the East. When I agreed, the first thing that came was his mother. We explained on the fingers, but she was very friendly, and we liked each other.

Now both mother and sister have moved here. My son from his first marriage is 25 years old, he works in tourism. We have life here.

About politics

The whole family is worried, both mine and my husband. We are very sorry that this happened between our countries, but no one is in a hurry to pack things. I generally welcome patriotism, but now I notice that on Russian television there is incomprehensible aggression towards the Turks, some kind of crowd syndrome is awakened by incomprehensible slogans. Mass patriotic madness provokes a protest in me. Why do people change so drastically? I used to wonder why the Ukrainians, with whom the Russians lived together for many years, began to scold us, avoid us, and now the same will happen with the Turks. Russians do not see Turkish life from the inside, they do not know. And the Turks also work, raise children. Why did they suddenly become such and such for the Russians? People allow themselves offensive words, it looks like some kind of command has been given.

From the family archivePhoto: from personal archive

My friends from Russia want to come to us for the New Year, but there are no tickets. They will fly through Minsk. Where we live, there is no resentment against the Russians, on the contrary, everyone I know regrets what happened. They wonder why the attitude towards everything Turkish has changed so dramatically. But the Turks always say: "Yes, it will manage somehow, we will solve everything." No one runs shouting: "You are Russian, you need to be cut." There is nothing like this here, it is some kind of persecution in Russia.

About language and traditions

The language was difficult at first. I wondered why my husband, getting out of bed in the morning, began frantically looking for ... a bed. He just got up from her. But it turns out that he has to run to work, but he cannot find a tie. "Kravat" Turkish tie. We didn’t have any issues with religion, my husband has a completely secular European family, many relatives live in Holland and Germany. It was not that difficult for me to get used to Turkish traditions, I just didn’t understand some things. For example, Kurban Bayram. Why kill animals? No one runs screaming: "You are Russian, you need to be cut" And then years passed, and I looked at it from the other side, this is the time when relatives from different places get together and perform a ceremony: they cook meat, treat neighbors. How to go to barbecue. As for clothes, we rarely have disputes, I can wear a short skirt. My husband sometimes tells me that my neckline is too deep or the skirt is like a young one. And I answer: "Yes, 45 is a berry again." My mother-in-law gave me Turkish shalvars, so I wear them with pleasure at home, it’s convenient for me.

Natalia, 37 years old, Alanya, Türkiye

About politics

Everyone in our family is worried. And my friend, who went to Russia with her mother a month ago with her child, is now afraid to return to her husband. The family was divided. Her husband, a Turk, is very upset and says he will go to the consulate to complain. But what can he do? Rumors are already circulating that if they don’t want to, they may not be allowed out of Russia to join their families here.

About family

I worked in a travel agency, spent eight months in Turkey, and returned to Russia for the winter. My husband and I met five years ago. When I flew away from him for the first time in the winter, he gave me a bouquet of flowers on Valentine's Day. He is very attentive, patient and caring. And he doesn't drink. I sometimes say: "Let's have a drink, we urgently need it." So it's not. My son from his first marriage lives with us, he is 16 years old. He already has Turkish friends, he goes to the wrestling section, but he misses Russia. Difficult age. And he doesn't drink. I sometimes say: "Let's have a drink, we urgently need it." So no Sometimes, if something goes wrong, the husband talks to him, they find a common language. My husband has many nephews, he loves children, but he will not breathe on our child. He is now six months old.

My husband's parents live in Mahmutlar, separately from us. My mother lives with us, she is happy with her son-in-law. She says that he is polite, kind and always watches her facial expression - she is pleased. My mother-in-law is a closed woman, she prays, but my husband's sisters are modern. I was received very well. Sometimes we do not have enough vocabulary, then we each take on our own vocabulary, and then it’s not even up to sorting out the relationship.

About mentality

Sometimes some little things that I would not pay attention to, he is pissed off. For example, housemates say hello to me, but not to him. And maybe they see me more often, I walk with the child. The husband is offended. With clothes like this: it doesn’t seem to be very open, but it’s hot in summer. In the morning I get dressed and ask: can I go like this? Yes, you can. And in the evening you will come home: “What, did you go in this ?!” I don't wear floor-length skirts, I don't like them. Previously, his jealousy was sharper, now smoothed out. There are no reasons, but it takes time for a man to trust. We walk along the street, he always seems to want to hide me from everyone, close me. If he sees that I'm angry in earnest, he immediately grabs his heart. Me, speaks, urgently validol. I cook for my husband, he eats everything except borscht: he doesn’t like borscht.

Anna, 31 years old, Konakly - Pyatigorsk

About how it all began

Anna with her husband

Two years ago, a friend told me about her photographer friend: he is Turkish and is looking for a Russian-speaking employee for the season. I volunteered to go to Turkey to work in his firm. The newly minted chef, without much courtship, very reasonably and seriously explained to me that he likes me, and he wants us to start a family. The season ended, and we came to me in Pyatigorsk. My husband knows Russian and four other languages. He liked the city and the people. We have a lot of Caucasians, so he did not feel like a stranger. And there are Turks in Pyatigorsk: they have enterprises in the wholesale market, and there are students from Turkey in our Pharmaceutical Academy.

About family

All my distant and close relatives are international, there are Ukrainians, Circassians, Armenians, Germans, and everyone lives well and treats each other with respect. There is an Armenian family among our friends in Pyatigorsk, and it is not true that Turks and Armenians cannot be friends. My relatives, when they got to know my fiancé better, said: “This is our guy.” Mom realized that I fell in love for real.

It is not true that Turks and Armenians cannot be friends The main thing for a husband is respect for elders, and he expects from me a respectful attitude towards his relatives. It's not difficult: his parents and sisters love me. My mother was afraid that I would be forced to change my faith, but we immediately decided that my husband respects my religion, and I respect his. I immediately, when they decided to get married, discussed that I should be accepted for who I am, sometimes hot-tempered, with my cockroaches. And he agreed. Therefore, if we quarrel, then I flare up, even scream, and he is patient. He understands that sometimes I make a problem out of nothing. I am an Aries and he is an Aquarius. Of course, I admit, if not right, but not immediately.

Left: Anna with relatives
Right: with husbandPhoto: from personal archive

About traditions

On Easter we ate Easter cake with candles, and on Eid al-Adha we ate meat, went to visit relatives and friends. Since my husband is a Muslim, his holidays are my holidays, and he also applies to our traditions. He understands that my customs are important to me, he took me to Antakya, where there is the Church of St. Peter. In Pyatigorsk, Caucasian cuisine, there are many dishes similar to Turkish ones. We cook nohut, beans like Turks. But most of all, the husband loves borscht, Russian salad, potatoes, pancakes with meat.

About politics

Two days ago I received a new visa and flew to Moscow, and he was deported without explanation for five years

Content:

Türkiye is a paradise for foreign tourists. Good service and reasonable prices make Russian women want to visit this country again and again. But the shores of the sunny peninsula give memories not only of a pleasant stay, but also of local temperamental men. It's hard to resist the beauty of these burning and tanned brunettes. But it's one thing to spin a holiday romance, and quite another - build a serious relationship with a Turk.

How to please a Turkish man?

In Turkey, there is an opinion that all Slavic women are of easy virtue. This is due to the fact that in the 90s of the last century a stream of Russian "moths" poured there. There were probably many Natashas among them, because Turks used to call all Slavic tourists Natasha. Naturally, such an appeal has a contemptuous connotation. In addition, real propaganda against Russian girls has unfolded in the Turkish media.

However, not all Turks have a bad opinion of foreigners. Many of them dream of meeting a good Russian girl. But in order to, you need to show all your best qualities and hide the shortcomings as much as possible. Remember that Turkish men are only having fun with easily accessible young ladies.

Of great importance is where the Turkish guy was born and what kind of upbringing he has. Türkiye is a unique country located on the verge of European and Asian civilizations. Residents of large cities are strongly influenced by Western culture, so they can be considered modern people. It is better to look for just such a Turkish man. But if your friend comes from a small town or village in the east of the country, you will have a hard time. In the Turkish outback, people are still faithful to the old strict customs.

If you want to please a Turkish man, do not dress too provocatively, do not open your chest and legs above the knee. Of course, the exception is the beach, where everyone relaxes in swimsuits. For such an "outfit" the Turk will not condemn you, but when you go on a date with him, dress more decently. Even at the beginning of the acquaintance, it is important to show yourself on the good side, as well as to find out the true intentions of the gentleman. After all, many Turks are simply looking for beautiful mistresses.

Turkish men in relationships

Turks- those are still storytellers. They know how to hang noodles and give compliments. But everything you heard from the Turkish guy should be divided by eight. It is better to find out the real level of his income, because if a man is not rich and does not have his own home, then you will most likely have to live with his parents.

There is a big gap between the rich and the poor in Turkey, but every Turk tries to appear richer than he really is. In addition, Muslim men look older than their years. For example, a high school graduate may look like a senior student, and a young specialist after university can look like a respectable groom. This fact is often used by the Turks to seduce foreign girls.

Turkish men they know how to look after beautifully, they like to give gifts, treat them with sweets. In Asia, relations are dominated by a man, but if we compare Turkey with other Muslim countries, it is certainly the most democratic. No one will force you to wear a veil, but get ready for the fact that a guy will accompany you everywhere, and in the future - a husband. Of course, no one will forbid a girl to go shopping or walk around the city herself, but in Turkey it is not customary for women to visit restaurants or entertainment centers without their men. Therefore, you will have to change some habits.

Are Turks Jealous?? Very! But if you do not give rise to suspicion, your man will worry less. It is important not to stumble upon a family despot, because it is in the genes of the Turks to dominate a woman. Therefore, study your chosen one well before tying the knot. Keep in mind that the Turks are very persistent. If a Turkish man sets out to win your favor, he will definitely achieve this. But getting rid of the courtship of an annoying gentleman will be extremely difficult. Sometimes Russian girls have to literally run away from a sunny country.

Turkish family

As already mentioned above, the best option for you is a wealthy man who has saved up for his apartment. Getting along with a relative of a Turkish husband will not be easy. In the parental home, not only the father and mother often live, but also the unmarried sisters of the guy, and his younger brothers with their wives. Turkish women, although they behave with restraint in dealing with men, still like to sort things out among themselves. Their "intra-harem" passions can be safely compared with those that were in full swing in the TV series "The Magnificent Century". Be prepared for the worst - your husband's relatives can boycott you and literally survive from home.

Your boyfriend must be a bachelor. This is another important condition for a happy relationship with a Turkish man. Many married Turks promise fabulous love and carefree family life to naive foreign women. But by "family life" they mean the maintenance of a woman, and not a legal marriage with her. Turks rarely get divorced, because it is ... unprofitable. The fact is that, according to the law, a Turkish man is obliged to pay alimony not only for children, but also for an unemployed ex-wife. And most of the women in Turkey do not work.

For a beautiful Russian mistress, a Turk can even buy a separate apartment. He will visit from time to time to satisfy his romantic and passionate aspirations. And of course, he will provide the woman with money. Many Russian girls are quite satisfied with such relationships.

But back to legal marriage. Turkish husband- a real provider and protector. But part of his income will go to help relatives. Turks love children especially girls. In Turkey, boys are more attached to their mothers, and daughters are more attached to their fathers. If it comes to divorce, the children will be given to the mother. But if the husband proves that she behaved unworthily, the court will take his side. After the divorce, the Turk will help the children, even if they leave with their mother to another country. Turkish men cherish family traditions, to refuse a child is low and shameful for them.

August 28th, 2015 05:35 am

“I want to marry a Russian” is the mantra of any Turk. But why? All these tales about “a well-groomed, economic, beautiful Russian girl” no longer impress me, Turkish women also have all of the above qualities. Moreover, the Turks rarely marry a youthful beauty, often they get girls from the "secondary market", so to speak. Those that are "stale", whose expiration date is about to come to an end. Although some people are lucky.

Therefore, when I once again heard sweet sighs from my Turkish colleague Mehmet at the sight of a Russian secretary (by the way, a so-so secretary), I could not stand it and asked why Russian women seduce them? To my surprise, he readily responded. It turned out that I was right. It's not about “beautiful - economic”.

Turkish men just want love. Gentle, devoted and ... free. Free - this is the main advantage of Russian mademoiselles.

After all, you can’t marry a Turkish woman “for beautiful eyes”. Behind her is her whole family, traditions, local customs and rules. A decent, educated, smart girl is expensive. Before marriage, her family will ask the groom for three keys - from the house, from the office and from the car. A little less educated and less beautiful can be given at a discount. But, in any case, you should already be firmly on your feet, because in Turkey, love is far from being in the first place. Much more important is the husband's ability to adequately provide for the family and the father's desire to give his daughter into good hands. Only the ugliest of the villages are given away for free.

Therefore, all financially unstable, potential suitors who have not passed the casting turn their ardent glances towards Russian women, mentally figuring out what brand they would give it to at home. I don’t want to sell cheap, but they don’t get too impudent either, they stop in the Toyota area.

Why exactly Russians? Because they are the least whimsical of all foreigners. Lonely Russian women, according to Mehmet, do not care so much about the contents of their pockets, the main thing for them is to feel loved. Plus, it’s not a shame to go into society with Russian girls, they are well versed in etiquette, fashion, and know how to behave in public. “True, they don’t cook as well and are not as clean as Turkish women,” Mehmet sighs sadly.

Even the Turks are not overjoyed at the emancipation of the Russians. They are sociable, easily start novels, you can not register a relationship with them for a long time. What can not be said about the Turkish woman, flirted once - if you please, get married.

Actually, all these qualities make Russian women the most desirable in the bride market. And now I completely understand this excitement.

Today in my blog guests from Turkey!

Alexandra was born in Ukraine, but has been living on the shores of the Aegean Sea for 5 years. In HER BLOG, she writes a lot about life, travel, as well as everything related to a healthy lifestyle and proper nutrition.

Especially for my project, Alexandra told her very unusual story of meeting her Turkish husband, and also gave practical advice: what documents are needed and what authority should be applied to in order to get married to a Turkish citizen.

How it all started..

Alexandra: I have been living in Turkey for five years now, and I constantly hear the same question from our compatriots: “How to marry a Turk?” Now, girls, it's your time. Today I drank a few glasses of "coffee" and I'm ready to share all the secrets.

Before marrying a Turk, you need to get to know him :) The first misconception of our girls is that the Turkish groom should be looked for not in the library, but in sunny resorts. In fact, this is fate, and a fatal acquaintance can take place both at the university, and in a bar, or even on the Internet. It was through the Internet that I met my future husband.

I am not very eloquent in terms of describing the details of our acquaintance, but my husband loves to tell how long he sought me, and how many circles of hell he had to go through: from flying to another country to meeting my mother.

In fact, everything was like that. Seven years ago, after seeing my photo in one of the social networks, my Turk could not resist. He wrote to me about what a “beautiful girl” I was, but, of course, he did not receive an answer. And how could I answer? At that time I was still a student of the National Shipbuilding University, a shipbuilding engineer, five minutes to five, the daughter of a teacher of higher classes in physics and mathematics. Internet dating?? Definitely not for me!

But the husband was not one of those who give up easily. He wrote huge letters to me every day, to which he once received only a couple of lines from me: “No relationship, especially with a Turk, interests me.” In a strange way, it was these two lines that became the beginning of our love story :)

We began to communicate almost daily, talking about everything in the world: about history, geography, culture, politics ... About everything except love. We became so close that we could not spend a day without each other. After six months of such communication, he firmly decided to come to me.

Second phase

At that time, I was just beginning to think that I would not mind marrying a Turk. But he didn't come. I did not have time to apply for a visa. Needless to say, I was very upset. I thought my stupidity knew no bounds! How could I decide that something could come of online dating? Nevertheless, I continued to communicate with him, although without my former enthusiasm. Apparently, he felt it, because he made a second attempt to get to me.

This time he applied for a visa, bought a ticket, we agreed that I would come to meet him. And already at the entrance to the airport, I first received a message that the flight was delayed, and then that the flight was canceled altogether! No, well, can you imagine how I felt at the time? And after the call from relatives, who only added fuel to the fire? What I said to him then, he remembers me to this day.

Apparently, my Turk realized that if he doesn’t come right now, then he has absolutely nothing else to hope for, because, I don’t even know how, he managed to buy the last ticket for a flight of another airline at three expensive and fly to me on the same day!

All this time, while he was solving the issue with tickets, I was sitting at the airport, completely broken and devastated, cursing myself for what the world was worth. Suddenly the doors opened, and my future husband appeared, stripped by our customs almost to his underpants! Yes, it was not at all sweet for him :) But it was not in vain!

happy ending

We had a wonderful time in Ukraine, then continued our long-distance relationship for several more years. Everything was so wonderful that in the end I made the final and such a strange decision for me: “I am ready to marry a Turk!” And she moved to live in sunny Turkey.

But that's a completely different story.

I know a lot of Russian-Turkish love stories with a happy ending, I also know a lot of stories where the marriage ended in separation and divorce. The fate of each person is unique. And if you are thinking about whether it is worth marrying a citizen of another country, then I can advise you only one thing: follow the call of your heart, but do not forget about your mind!

So, if you have made the final decision to join your destiny with a Turkish citizen, then you need to prepare the following documents:

For the bride:

1. A notarized document stating that you are not married in your country (that you have no obstacles to getting married). This document can be done both at home and at the consulate in Turkey.
2. International passport
3. Birth certificate

All documents must be translated into Turkish by an officially registered translation agency. Make sure that the translation agencies put a special inscription on the translations stating that they guarantee the correctness of the translation. Carefully check the translated text, especially the spelling and transliteration of all names, surnames, places of residence. Translations must be certified apostille.

For the groom:

1. A document confirming that he is not married, or, if he was married, then divorced.
2. Passport

For both:

1. Take a blood test for HIV and hepatitis and do a fluorography at one of the hospitals that are authorized to issue health certificates for marriage registration (a list of hospitals can be found on the government website.
2. 4 photos for each

Originals and copies of all documents with photographs and a medical report must be submitted for verification to the registry office at the place of residence. When the verification is completed, you will be called and informed of the date of the beautiful day.

Good luck!

Alexandra Podlipnaya