How can a married woman choose between a young lover and a husband
HOW TO GET A LOVER
(beginner's guide)
Foreword
First of all, this essay in no way claims to be a scientific work, and is not a practical guide. Rather, this is a discussion on the topic indicated in the title, a woman who spent no less than sixteen years on it. Whether it’s bad or good, you can judge for yourself.
BLACK MAGIC
You can call me a complete idiot - but in the great battle of women among themselves for Him, the one and only, such potent means are REALLY used. Today, our newspapers are full of ads like: “Black and white magic. I'm flying, I'm bewitching. Talismans for good luck, etc.
Have you ever wanted to pick up the phone and call the suggested number? I didn't even think of that nonsense. After the events of two years ago, I became much more cautious in my assessments.
Get ready for what I'm about to tell you. Two years ago, I was subjected to increased damage. The reason is banal - female jealousy. When I, a healthy mare, who had known nothing but a mild cold for decades, was on a drip for the first time in my life, all my thoughts were about when and how I managed to bring my body to such a deplorable state. In a month and a half, I lost thirteen kilograms of weight. Body temperature regularly rose to 39.7 without any signs of a cold. Every movement hurt me. I spent a lot of money on a paid examination at the diagnostic center. Judging by the analysis of the examination, objectively I was completely healthy. The doctor who performed an ultrasound of all conceivable organs on me expressed her opinion briefly: “At least to the exhibition.” As you can imagine, I didn't feel any healthier.
Health problems are a big problem. If at the same time other troubles begin to pour on you from all sides, you begin to seriously think about what you have been so guilty of before God.
When they told me in detail who, how and why the damage was brought on me, I did not believe it. Still, what nonsense. Then my memory helpfully pushed to the surface a couple of memories that fit very well into the above scheme. I still didn’t want to believe, but I didn’t want to continue living in this nightmare even more.
It turned out that I was not the only one who had complaints against a woman who thus paved the way for her ideas about a happy life. In her hatred, she went too far, extending it to the entire environment of the object of her material and moral well-being. As a result, I found my companions in misfortune. Having discussed the problem together, we started to solve it.
What do you think we did? This is nonsense, this is insanity, but we went the same way. Friends found a phone number of a woman who, according to hot reviews, worked wonders.
I was assigned the role of an outside observer. For ridiculous money, one of the victims received a bag of slandered millet from the miracle worker. This millet the very next morning was neatly scattered in those places where the foot of the insidious lovebird deliberately set foot on a regular basis. And, of course, we all first passed a test for possible damage, and then a ceremony to remove it.
Believe it or not, it worked. And in the shortest possible time. A terrible scandal broke out, as a result of which the culprit was shamefully exposed from the family that warmed her. Her ambitious plans shattered into glass dust. I had the pleasure of watching her contorted face and gloating a little in secret. In our opinion, she got little, but revenge is not the best property of human nature. The fact that none of us has complained about health since then (pah-pah!), I think, is not worth talking about.
I learned two lessons from this story. First: If you don't believe in something, it doesn't mean that SOMETHING doesn't exist. Second: For every action there is a reaction.
And, finally, the conclusion that I made for myself: The woman, whom you got in the way, will not hesitate to use the most monstrous actions against you in order to eliminate the obstacle. Therefore, fighting in white gloves in such a situation is simply ridiculous.
When the shock of the whole incredible story passed, I had the strength to even joke about this topic. To questions about how I managed to lose weight so well, I answered: “N spoiled me, as a result, my excess weight disappeared and wrinkles smoothed out. I don't know if I should be angry with her for that?" By the way, my favorite kilograms slowly but surely returned to me. BUT I WILL BE BETTER!!!
About Jealousy
Men have interesting notions about cheating. Their favorite expression on this subject in a softened form looks like this: “If I have, we have; if they have you, they have us.” From my point of view, such a view of things does not stand up to scrutiny. I usually answer that I myself will fuck whoever you want, so that the honor of the family will not suffer.
No, really, who said that men strive for polygamy, and women, on the contrary? Don't get me wrong, I am for a strong monogamous family and loyalty to a partner to the grave. As long as it's mutual. At sixteen distant years, I was firmly convinced that my man would be the first and only. Well, it didn't work out. So what now, hang yourself? At twenty-one, I was left with a baby in my arms without a livelihood. Because it seemed to my mother-in-law that her boy had lived enough family life. My mother told me that if I managed to miss my husband, I should stay at home until I was thirty and wait for someone who would agree to take on a woman with a makeweight. And in case of failure, after thirty I have the right to have a married lover.
Of course, I was terribly depressed by the sudden collapse of my family hearth, but I retained my sobriety of thought. Therefore, I reasonably stated that, having stayed at home until I was thirty years old, I would definitely lose all hope of remarrying.
Three weeks later, I met my friend's boyfriend. Two more years later, she met Love with a capital letter in his house. The novel was passionate, but short, and at the end of it the originator of our acquaintance expressed an ardent desire to take the vacant seat. We got married two years later, our marriage is eleven years old and I see no reason why it should not continue. The ghosts of our friends don't bother us in bed.
I will not convince you that it is easy to look at treason. On the contrary, nothing can throw me off balance more. I'm just trying to analyze my feelings. Why am I bitter and hurt because my man spent the night with another? I do not worry about the strength of our relationship, because I know from my own experience that most often passion has nothing to do with the desire to spend the rest of my life in the arms of this person. I just know women well enough. I'm tired of explaining to men that their harmless adventures are regarded by their casual partners as great personal victories on the love front. I know that you love only me, you repeat this to me ten times a day. I know that "this red-haired slut is no match for you." The trouble is that the red-haired slut is absolutely sure of the opposite. She will giggle in my face, whisper behind my back with her friends in a loud whisper, discussing your virtues, by the way, and in every possible way demonstrate her superiority to me. Of course, I will tell all her friends and relatives all the dirty details of your connection, which you dumped out to me in drunken remorse. Of course, I will pretend to be an innocent victim.
And then you call me a bitch?
Many may think that it is easier to get a divorce and start over from scratch, but a lot of reasons can stop a woman from this step. For example, common children. Not every mother is able to sacrifice the happiness of a child for her own. A wife may be financially dependent on her husband, but she is not going to lose her well-being.
What pushes a woman to commit adultery? Maybe that feeling of resentment that arises after intimacy in bed with a husband who, having quickly satisfied, falls asleep with his back turned. Or maybe the fact that sex is becoming a rare guest in the bedroom. Or the desire to feel loved again, to feel this excitement before a date again, when you don’t know what to wear and what hairstyle to do. There can be many reasons. But back to how to get a lover for a married lady. First you need to decide for what purposes a second man is needed. If it's just out of boredom, then maybe you should just find a hobby, like cooking. But if a husband spends more free time with friends or with a bottle of beer next to the TV, remembering his own wife when he wants to eat, then, no doubt, there will be thoughts of getting attention on the side.
All lovers can be divided into 3 types:
The first type is a man for sex. This type is used by women who are deprived of attention in bed with their husband, or those women who cannot realize their full potential in sex with their husband for various reasons, for example, different temperaments or religious beliefs do not allow a partner to be liberated during sex. As hormones begin to take their toll, the woman decides to have a second partner in bed. Love and falling in love is not of great importance in such relationships, most often it is not at all. Such a man is easy to find in any bar, at work, or even in his own porch. The main thing here is the sexual attraction to the chosen object. Most often, these are also married men who for some reason miss their wife. Such a relationship will not be a burden for both parties. We met in our free time, satisfied our desires and quickly go home, cook borscht for our faithful (or maybe not quite faithful).
The second type is absolutely opposite to the first - this is a man for communication. It happens that a woman is quite satisfied in terms of sex, but there is nothing to talk about, except for the family budget. And so you want to discuss the latest events at work, cry in a vest, and just discuss the latest film distribution. It is even more difficult if the spouses have different levels of education. For example, she tells him about the achievements of modern medicine, and he talks about new motor oil. This is where the desire to find the very one with whom you can talk heart to heart appears. Someone may say that there are girlfriends for this occasion, but more often than not, even the best friend cannot fully understand. And then HE appears. A smart man, well-read, understanding perfectly. You can discuss everything with him, from discussing the hubby's shortcomings to classical music.
The famous actress Faina Ranevskaya believed that every woman should have a lover. And it doesn't matter if she's married or not; she is young or aged; whether or not there are children, all normal females must have a boyfriend. But what exactly it will be, no one knows.
And, finally, the third type is a virtual man. The safest type of lover. Virtual communication will help to relax, discuss all the secrets and fantasies, while remaining incognito. Yes, and the conscience will remain clear. And, perhaps, this virtual communication will help you better understand your husband. The Internet will help answer the question of how to get a lover for virtual communication. There are many forums and chats where it is not necessary to give your real name and age. Here you can create your own legend. Having decided on what type of man is right for you, you can begin to act.
But before you start looking, you need to put yourself in order, visit a hairdresser and beautician, perhaps change your image. First of all, it will increase your own self-esteem, help you feel the admiring glances of men again.
The question may arise: where to find such a man who would be suitable for him to be completely satisfied with such a relationship? Often it is enough just to take a closer look around yourself. You can start with a work colleague who always shows signs of attention. During the break, you can start a conversation yourself, go out for a bite to eat and shoot with your eyes. If a man is ready to start a relationship, he will immediately take the hint. The downside of such a relationship can be curious people for whom new relationships will not go unnoticed. Local gossips will not miss the opportunity to scratch their tongues, which can harm the reputation of lovers. So, when starting an office romance, you need to be careful and not lose your head.
If there is no suitable copy at work, then do not despair. There are many more places crowded with candidates. You can start visiting a fitness club and look at a personal trainer. A visit to the pool will allow at the first meeting to assess the future lover in more detail.
A person much younger than a woman can also be suitable for the role of a lover for sex. Among young people, you can easily find a partner who is inexperienced in matters of sex, who will gladly agree to a relationship just for the sake of sex without any obligations. Very often, such a guy can turn out to be a virgin who himself dreams of losing his innocence with an experienced lady. The hot temperament of the partner and his inexperience will allow not only to get sexual satisfaction, but also to feel like a real woman who can bring joy to a man with her body.
A lover must always remain a gentleman. For example, Jack Nicholson became famous not only as a famous actor, but also as a hero-lover. He had a wife, but Jack realized that he was not created for marriage, but in order to make women happy. Therefore, he tries to pay attention to the entire female sex, while remaining a real gentleman.
Often the minus of such a relationship is the amorousness of a young man. He may begin to be jealous of her husband, feel a rival in him, a desire may appear for the sole possession of a woman. How to find a lover among close friends and partners of her husband? This is the most dangerous option, although not the most difficult. Such a relationship cannot remain a secret for long. No matter how confused the husband is, he will certainly notice what is happening under his nose. In any case, when wondering how to find a lover, you should foresee all possible options in advance without losing your head. According to statistics, 90% of men will not be able to forgive infidelity, which can lead to divorce, and the possibility of losing their children is not ruled out. Even if the husband can forgive the betrayal, there will no longer be the former trust in the family. There is only one conclusion: if you already have a lover, you need to plan a meeting with him very carefully, not forgetting to delete all calls and SMS.
I don't know about advice... I guess I'll just tell you what I had. She studied at the institute (as it is customary to say in "male"). Serious and not very many fans. Rather, few very serious ones, but that's good. In general, somewhere at the end of my studies (already on my diploma), one classmate told me that he loved me unrequitedly for a long time (and I perceived him as a constant bully - they were engaged in verbal picking with him all the time). We then broke up without talking ...
I already loved my current husband and no one interested me at all.
It so happened that in the spring of last year (3 years have passed since that recognition) we met again. He has a girlfriend (one might say, a wife - he lives with her).
But he still loves and waits for ME and wants me to marry him, give birth to a child, etc. and so on. And at this moment I have a complete set of disappointments - my husband has moved away almost irreparably, with problems with work, in general there is green melancholy in my soul ... And he is so successful, with money, caring (unlike my husband, he is interested in me and in a possible child). For old times' sake (we were still friends at the same time) I was glad to see him (and attention, after all, is important).
BUT ... but I can never be with him, I know for sure. Even if we part with my husband. I am a person of principle in this - if I don’t like a man for all 100 (no, even for 200), I will not meet him as a man. “Not two or one and a half” suits me, I should enjoy the relationship as a whole.
If at least in something there is rejection, I can’t meet and that’s it. But this is my peculiarity and, perhaps, my misfortune. Perhaps yours is different. So don't rely too much on my opinion. Try to listen to your feelings...
But a person who was not so prosperous, married (alas), with children (great!) and divorced, could interest me. It would seem with a bunch of problems (and even unresolved ones). He also showed a remarkable interest in me (and to be a wife and give birth to a baby). But he has the same value system as me. He understands me perfectly, it is easy with him literally in everything - from household trifles to intellectual conversations. It seems to me that you are the most "half" that most people dream of. And this "suitability" (as Blue says) pushes me again and again to meet with him (I still don’t see suitability with my husband, the further, the more I understand this. I constantly try to improve relations, but I stumble upon the same thing - my husband is not interested in me, he has other interests that he is not going to share with me ... (I can’t write in a connected way - the authorities constantly appear behind my back) ...
It is to this "suitability" that one should strive, IMHO, it must be sought in a future life partner. Then all other problems are solved much easier. Only then will you be a full-fledged team in which each of the members supports the other.
This is all my IMHO. I know what I need, and you must understand what YOU want. You better listen to yourself and be more responsible in choosing a partner. Those. I mean, if everything suits a person, then love can come with time. You just need to correctly assess the degree of acceptance of certain qualities of the candidate ...
Once again, sorry for being so confusing.
Many men, especially those who have been married for a long time, have a desire to cheat on their spouse. There can be many reasons for this temptation. But, often this happens because of the monotony in sex, as well as small, but frequent, domestic conflicts with his wife. When a man comes home, instead of resting, he gets scandals.
It often happens that the family is completely calm and peaceful, but the male representative still has an attraction to go to the side. Here the reason may be that he lacks some thrills, intrigues and wants to feel young again.
How to get a mistress and where to start?
Before you take such a step called "How to get a mistress: the beginning," you should think it over well, weighing all the pros and cons of this adventure. Firstly, it is worth considering your financial situation, since such relationships will incur certain costs in any case. For example, a man is obliged to rent a hotel room or an apartment for meetings. You can not do without gifts and trips to cafes, restaurants. If there is not enough money, then you should think about whether it is worth saving on your own wife and children for the sake of a temporary relationship with your mistress.
The second important point to consider is the availability of free time. Optimally, when the work schedule is not normalized, there are frequent and unforeseen business trips. Still not bad if there are old ones. After all, a wife can immediately suspect something is wrong when her husband often starts to linger at work or he suddenly becomes interested in fishing or hunting. Therefore, in order to avoid unnecessary scandals at home, you need to take everything into account and figure out how you can allocate free time.
How to make a mistress to a married man?
A significant step in this adventure is caution. If you want to protect the family from psychological trauma, you should think about each step in advance so that the spouse does not have suspicions. You need to get a new SIM card and email, it is advisable not to contact your mistress in social networks. Pay everywhere and for everything only in cash.
Since relationships with a mistress are not eternal, sooner or later the moment will come when they exhaust themselves, and it will come to a break. It would seem that all the intrigue is over, passion and lust have subsided, I want to return to my wife and live in peace. But it was not there. At this point, all the salt may just begin. Most mistresses, if they are completely satisfied with a man, are not ready to lose him. Therefore, an unexpected break in relations will certainly cause anger and a desire for revenge. And it will no longer matter to her whether she returns the man or not. The main thing is that he will suffer from the destruction of his marriage. To avoid these very unpleasant moments, again, you need to take care of everything in advance. You should not contact her friends and, moreover, do not introduce her to yours. And in general, the less people know about the relationship with her, the better. The mistress should not know either the home address or any contact details about the wife. Also, don't throw it too hard. It is better to start behaving in such a way that she herself has cooled down and decided to break off the relationship.
Ideally, if the mistress is also married. She does not need expensive gifts, since their presence will need to be somehow explained to her husband. Not disclosing this relationship will also be mutually beneficial.
How to get a mistress at work?
Getting a mistress at work is one of the easiest and most affordable ways. In addition, a relationship with a nice colleague will give the novel more extreme and excitement. But before you get involved in this, it is worth considering whether it is necessary to do this at all. After all, an office romance is short-lived, there will be gossip among employees. After a breakup, you can remain friends only in rare cases. Often, one of the lovers has to quit. Therefore, whether it is worth risking work and career growth for the sake of temporary pleasure, everyone must decide for himself.
I want to be loved
In the life of almost every woman, there comes a time "H", when she realizes that she needs to fall in love. "I want to have a lover!" - many women think, but not everyone decides to fulfill what they want. Meanwhile, the best way to get rid of temptation is to succumb to it. After all, you can start, educate and leave a lover on time without any consequences for the family hearth.
In order not to leave the cart of a boring family life in the middle of the road, a woman needs gentle strokes, powerful touches of strong male hands and affectionate words whispered in her ear. And, tired, she, falling asleep, whispers to herself: “That's it. I can not go on. I just need to fall in love. Seriously fall in love, in order to die from the desire to simply breathe the same air with a person, so that butterflies settle in the stomach, yes, yes, butterflies, and also to feel two hot circles of blood circulation.
This is poetry. And for some time she becomes the meaning of a woman's life, she pushes her to look for a lover. And there is nothing reprehensible in this, because mistresses and lovers are a kind of amnesty for married people.
But before a woman decides to move from words to deeds, her soul will be subjected to her own moral torture. Two angels - white and black - will cross their swords, trying to win over the hostess to their side. The good girl inside the woman will categorically declare: "A lover is evil, this is a violation of the husband's copyright law on his wife as his own property." The bad girl will balk: "I'm not his property!" The white angel will smile sadly and wisely say: "A lover is the second disappointment of a married woman." Black will sarcastically remark: “A lover needs only one thing from you, but give your husband the first, second, and compote.” But whatever they tell you, let common sense and female intuition win. Let a one-night stand adventure, a holiday or office romance, or maybe even a long road in the dunes happen to you.
How to choose a lover
The lover should not be better or worse than the husband. It just has to be different! It's the most important. He must compensate for the woman everything that she lacks in the family. And each representative of the fair sex needs her own unique puzzle in the mosaic of relationships, but at the same time, all lovers should still have common features.
“Only marriages are accidental,” my grandmother used to tell me. - And you need to take a reliable person as a lover ... "
And that's right. After all, the lover will have to follow the rules of conspiracy with you in order to protect your immaculate reputation as a respectable wife from dirty gossip.
So, a non-random lover should ...
- Keep your mouth shut.
- Love spy games: do not send sms without permission, write only to a personal email address and call at a strictly allotted time.
- Do not be intrusive and capricious.
- Respect your right to family life and recognize the priority of this right.
- Provide financial support as needed.
- To have a sense of humor combined with a philosophical outlook, touching romance with a rational sober view of things, an unquenchable interest in sex without manic fanaticism.
- To show attention and care in everything ... without any demand for reciprocal caresses.
Love and Bonuses
No matter how disinterested and romantic a woman is known to be, when she has a lover, she always counts on certain bonuses. All these benefits have been known for centuries.
What can you turn your loved one on? For sex, attention, care, position in society, career growth, gifts, money and useful acquaintances. But the main thing that all women dream of is to unwind a lover for love ...
Love is always good, even if it hurts, like an operation without anesthesia, even if it's scary, like a parachute jump. Good, because love opens us to ourselves, opens us to the world, and the world, renewed and beautiful, gives us the joy of life. Love exacerbates all feelings and sensations, changes the attitude towards people, outlook on life, teaches sympathy and empathy, makes us cleaner, better, more resourceful, more cunning, more jealous, more attractive.
Benefits for the husband
By the way, one way or another, the legal spouse also extracts the pluses from the wife's love adventure. A woman begins to selflessly monitor her figure and appearance, she is almost always in high spirits: she sings in the kitchen, is more patient with her husband and children, does not scream or cry for no reason, referring to PMS. Meanwhile, the need to receive compliments and gifts from her husband is significantly reduced, and a slight feeling of guilt makes a woman in love pay more attention to children, cook tastier and create an atmosphere of universal love. An undoubted plus is that a new sexual experience instills self-confidence in a woman, liberates her and can serve as an impetus for experiments in a marital bed.
The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and not arouse unnecessary suspicion. Tell your husband that the erotic movie you recently watched at a bachelorette party suggested new sexual positions. And a late return home - the preparation of a quarterly report, for which you will definitely receive a bonus in a week. Do you think I'm asking you to lie? No, I'm just asking you not to destroy the nest that was built with such difficulty with your new outburst of emotions. Take care of your husband and children - they are the closest people in your life and should never become hostages of your happiness.
It's good to love a married man
A good lover is a married lover. Therefore, it is best to choose a married lover. Then you will spend all the holidays with your families and without offense. A married man cherishes his marriage and does not want a divorce just like you. He is simply tired of family monotony and is looking for understanding in your arms. Give each other this understanding without hurting your loved ones. Believe that it is in your power to protect them from disappointment.
A married man will not blackmail you and deliberately leave evidence of your affair in order to spoil the mood of your spouse. A married man is also a husband. And therefore, you will not need to cook borscht for him or wash his shirts. All this will be done by his wife. So your household skills will be applied exclusively for their intended purpose and only in your family.
It's time to part
Love is beautiful, but it has one problem. She passes. By the way, determining the time for parting is not so simple. It comes sometimes before the hormones of love finally subside. It's like saturation. You eat, you eat, but your hunger is not satisfied. But you know for sure that it's time to stop, that in fifteen minutes you will feel not just satiety, but satiety from food. It's the same in novels. The moment of parting must be felt with the skin. It cannot be delayed, it cannot be stretched out for years, for a time during which you can experience many more beautiful adventures.
I know for sure that, before becoming the initiator of a break, every woman remembers Antoine de Saint-Exupery's favorite fairy tale from childhood "The Little Prince" and the phrase: "We are responsible for those we have tamed." As soon as a woman remembers them, she begins to suffer and suffer from the fact that the person she decided to leave will not be able to breathe without her. And why do we have such delusions of grandeur? Dudki! How else can he!
If you really want to get rid of an annoying lover, do it wisely. Let him think that he left you. Men who “leave” women are very generous: they often give them the last gifts, make money “as a sacrifice”, put useful little things on the altar of love in order to somehow atone for their guilt.
If your lover does not understand the hints and is not going to leave you, take the reins of government into your own hands. There are two ways: eco-friendly and non-environmental. Non-environmental - without explanation, become a bitch: be rude, offended, demand money, constantly talk about your husband with tenderness, refuse sex, reduce meetings to a minimum and arrange an information blockade, up to changing your mobile phone number, until he himself howls from your behavior.
The eco-friendly way comes down to a banal honest conversation. Simple and effective. No need to spit in the soul, no need to be cunning - you just need to frankly say that you are grateful for the good that once was between you, but now you are no longer on your way.
