Why do men like modest girls. Do guys like shy girls? Act like you are a confident person

Contrary to the thesis that is commonplace and instilled in every girl since childhood, guys do not particularly like silent and modest girls. You can, of course, make allowances for the changed times and customs, but in fact everything is much simpler.

The opinion of psychologists who adhere to various directions in this science is quite unanimous on this issue. While the behavior of their lovers remains a mystery to girls, psychologists have studied aspects and nuances of the behavior of both of them from all sides.

Therefore, if the beauties stop lamenting over their hard share and at least bother to look through some scientific research on this subject, they will undoubtedly be surprised by the truthful picture of what is happening. Now we will offer some extract from such works and even make it digestible for the understanding of ordinary women, which we hope to dispel the firmly rooted erroneous judgments.

Define the problem

Why do guys always run after arrogant girls who don't give a damn about them? Why do they not pay attention to modest girls who sigh quietly in a corner and are silent, but, nevertheless, they know how to cook, wash, clean, love and the like?

• First, at the genetic level, men are hunters, despite the thousand-year history of civilization. And the alleged "game" must first be seen, or at least know that it is in the area. Agree that modest girls are usually imperceptible, against the background of nimble and liberated beauties;
• secondly, if a man does not suffer from a pronounced inferiority complex, then he has a craving for the best. Since the first impression is made up of eye contact, then the “best” is recognized as something that immediately falls and lingers. After all, it is not always possible to consider the corner where the modest dug in;
• thirdly, for all the functions needed in everyday life, there are mothers with whom guys often spend most of their lives and love to the point of insanity. Yes, do not be surprised, but men are rational, and they do not need two washing machines to wash one pair of socks. So why would they marry a second mother?
• fourthly, we look at men as princes who will jump in, win, offer, take away - and all this on their own initiative. At the same time, guys are often afraid of responsibility and want the initiative to come from a woman, “bring something, I don’t know what”, and they could show miracles of dexterity in completing the task. A legitimate question arises by itself: why is it so difficult for girls to voice their wishes? It is more difficult to understand the modest, men do not like to solve puzzles.

Correct installation

If you deeply understand why guys do not pay attention to modest and calm girls, and do not like them, then you need to consider the sequence of development of any relationship. Basically, the period up to 30 years for men is associated with an active search for oneself, and there is no place for long-term relationships. In girls, physiologically, the function “to build a nest” turns on earlier. The family and offspring must be healthy, so the need for marriage, and, as a result, the bearing of a child in women is included in the period from 18 to 30. Guys can afford to walk without obligations for much longer.

Representatives of different sexes love differently. Men always combine both career and family calmly, sharing these concepts in their minds, and women dissolve in their loved ones, begin to live with their problems and worries. This is also the mental characteristics of both.

Shy women cannot imagine an independent existence, with the adoption of their own decisions. Whereas men, who are forced to accept them at work, with friends, with their parents, want to take a break from this role at home and be little boys themselves. Therefore, we look above, even a mother can solve household issues, and it is also very restless and difficult to answer for her wife, especially if she does not clearly express what she wants.

They love scandalous and picky, and even arrogant girls only because the requirements expressed aloud are always clear, and the emotional charge allows a man to feed like a battery.

Guys are very sensitive to their personal status, and a bright, elegant, well-groomed girl is his confirmation in the eyes of close friends. A modest woman will not so clearly demonstrate the successes and victories of a young man. Especially if she cannot keep up a conversation in a close company or once again publicly admire her man because of her innate or acquired modesty.

Relationship stages

Psychologists say that there are seven phases that a couple must go through in order to speak with confidence about mutual love. This list looks like this:

• violent love;
• slight satiety;
• complete rejection;
• the beginning of tolerance;
• mutual service;
• respect for each other;
• Love.

In the context of our study, modest women simply do not have a chance to move beyond the third point. Why? They love, or rather, fall in love, they quickly and all-consumingly, often endowing the chosen one with fictional character traits or qualities. But “tolerance” for a partner moves from fourth place to second, while for men everything is according to plan, and satiety comes on time, according to the specified schedule.

Shyness often seems like a curse rather than a blessing. From childhood, people who are easily embarrassed get used to many of life's difficulties. At first it is not easy to go to the blackboard and answer the question in front of the whole class; then the same difficulties pass into adulthood, making it difficult to communicate at work or just with strangers.

It may seem surprising, but when it comes to modest girls and women, many men choose just such. Although a sociable and self-confident girl attracts attention at first, for many men there are millions of reasons why they would prefer a more modest, and even shy girl to her. And here are some of them.

Why choose the humble?

1. Modesty means femininity. Of course, this is not now an immutable rule. However, for a man, this behavior often signals that he should be active, since a modest girlfriend is one who behaves in accordance with the traditional distribution of roles.

For example, she will not turn to a man first, but will wait until he speaks to her. It is important for men to conquer the weaker sex, it is important to be active and seek women.

2. Modesty adds mystery. If you've ever dated a shy guy, you'll certainly understand what I'm talking about. You can never guess what a humble person is thinking about at any given moment. And also, seemingly hard-to-reach girls always provoke men with their behavior in order to demonstrate their abilities to them and impress them.

3. Guys can get shy too. And here your modesty will play into your hands. After unsuccessful attempts to interact with overly sociable and self-confident women, it is much easier for such guys to communicate with modest girls. They can be sure that they will not be repulsed. They are natural. They are easy with you.

4. Shyness can signal great potential in the love realm. Indeed, for many men, fantasies of dominance and submission are the most vivid. Therefore, here your feature can serve as a sure promise of pleasure.

As you can see, shyness can be a huge asset in the realm of relationships. And therefore, in any situation, it is worth remaining yourself - even if the main quality of your true "I" is modesty.

It has always been believed that modesty is the main dignity of a woman. But today, ideas about the attractiveness of a girl have completely changed, guys are increasingly choosing for themselves one that is not distinguished by shyness and modesty. Why guys are no longer attracted to restrained and mysterious girls.

What a modest girl she is

For a modest and shy girl, such concepts as not verbosity, mystery, passivity, defenselessness, vulnerability are suitable. It would seem that all these qualities should attract the stronger sex. A real man wants to protect and protect his soul mate, a quiet and laconic girl will become a faithful, caring wife and a wonderful mother for future children.

But there is also a negative side: lack of initiative, lack of ambition and own opinion, unwillingness to develop, self-doubt, pedantry. These qualities annoy men and guys today.

The main question is: why do all of the above aspects of such girls repel young people? But the point is that modest girls repel mostly only young guys– adolescents, at a more mature age, the values ​​of a man change in the opposite direction.

Reasons for the dislike of guys to modest girls

Firstly, a young and active guy will not even notice a modest girl, because in her youth she is engaged in study and self-development, she does not have free time to meet and communicate with the opposite sex. Secondly, even if he notices her, she outwardly will greatly lose to her peers, who lead and look defiant.

During the period of growing up among young people, the choice of a potential partner for a relationship is not based on her personal qualities, but on a bright and beautiful “packaging”. Stylishly dressed, brave and even daring girls are “pride” for a teenager, she is not ashamed to show her to her friends, go to the movies or to a disco with her. A modest girl, who more often at a young age resembles a “gray mouse” rather than a fatal beauty, will not arouse interest among friends and will not become the soul of the company.

Another reason is the “hormonal explosion” in teenage boys. A dissolute immodest girl more easily agrees to intimacy. That is, easy accessibility attracts guys, which is difficult to say about a modest girl. At best, it will take a long time to persuade her, and at worst, this will not be possible. By the way, in most cases this is the main answer to the question: why do guys not like modest girls.

Self-doubt is characteristic of a modest girl, this not only prevents her from finding a worthy partner, but also in communicating with people. Men feel when a girl next to him feels uncomfortable, but not everyone realizes that the reason for this is her inner barrier, and not some of his shortcomings. In any case, the presence of complexes and low self-esteem becomes a serious obstacle for the young lady in relations with the opposite sex.

The inability to stand up for oneself makes a girl unattractive in the eyes of guys. A young man will take it as an honor to stand up for his soul mate in front of other guys. But often modest girls are ridiculed by more courageous peers, in which case the guy will not defend the interests of his beloved, but rather turn away from her in order to protect himself from attacks from outside.

In general, during the period of growing up, young people are looking for bright and accessible girls. In adolescence, not a single young man thinks about a serious relationship with his chosen one, by and large he doesn’t care what kind of hostess and mother she will be, what is important for him is that “here and now”. And a girl at this age does not think about creating a family.

By what criteria does a guy choose a girl for himself

If we talk about the fact that uncommunicative girls repel guys, then too vulgar and obsessive persons also do not attract them. More precisely, the lack of femininity will never attract a man, both mature and adolescent. Therefore, the bright appearance and sociability of a young girl is a clear advantage, which should be moderate.

At a young age, men evaluate the appearance of a woman not by her natural data, but by her ability to improve them. In other words, a guy is more likely to pay attention to a girl with moderately bright makeup than without it at all. A beautiful hairstyle and manicure, a tendency to experiment with one's appearance attracts and attracts guys. It is these qualities that modest girls are deprived of.

Sociability and a good sense of humor make the girl especially attractive.. It is not easy to willingly enter into close relationships with such girls, but they can also just be friends or spend time together if they have common interests. Modest girls can not always become an interesting companion, or rather, she will become more like just a listener.

By the way, overly arrogant and demanding people also repel guys, and much more often than prudes. Some girls from an early age are spoiled by expensive things and excessive attention from their parents. Young insolvent guys cannot provide the girl with expensive gifts and beautiful courtship, and they simply do not want to give them constant attention, since they themselves, by and large, need care and guardianship.

Conclusion

Indeed, the relationship of opposite sexes in adolescence is a complex process, when young people completely lack a sense of responsibility for each other, and neither of them wants to burden themselves with a serious relationship. Young people are attracted to simple and immodest girls, and the latter are attracted to “bad” guys.

With age, closer to 25 years, the values ​​of a man completely change in the opposite direction. An adult man is looking for a life partner among modest decent women who will be reliable, faithful and caring wives. Although daring and courageous women also attract adult men, but rather in a sexual way, for example, as a mistress.

There is an opinion in society that a modest guy is an unpopular young man. Because of this stereotype, many men suffer from an inferiority complex.

Important! Today, taking care of yourself and having an attractive appearance at any age is very simple. How? Read history carefully Marina Kozlova Read →

But not all girls dream of seeing a masculine macho next to them. To please them, you don’t need to “break” your own character and pretend to be someone else. Many women suffer because they are surrounded by callous men, and they would like to have a gentle and sensitive friend nearby.

Who likes a shy guy?

Not all girls are disgusted by the role of the second plan. There are also daring, domineering "Amazons" who enjoy the game of seducing an indecisive man.

Attempts to pretend to be different, to become more decisive can lead to the development of a large number of complexes. But this is not the only negative consequence: a modest young man in a different image will simply not be noticed by his betrothed, deciding that he is no different from most of her friends.

Girls who are decisive and aggressive in their courtship do not always like guys. Especially if a shy type of men pretends to be such. From the outside, this looks at least strange: he starts a conversation and immediately falls into a stupor, then tells jokes for a long time and laughs nervously, afraid to look his interlocutor in the eyes. This is what prevents you from building new relationships.

This type of men is not recommended to start relationships with indecisive young ladies. Such lovers break up faster than they even dare to kiss. A modest girl is accustomed to active courtship and is not ready to show her feelings first. Therefore, it is important not to pretend and look for "your soul mate".

The type of woman that suits modest men is the female leader.

Man looks away when meeting eyes

What are the advantages of modest men?

Shy guys do not look as impressive in society as their masculine friends. But modesty is precisely the quality that can distinguish them from the background of others. A silent person always creates a feeling of mystery, you want to talk to him and find out what he is thinking about. Of course, if the silence is not accompanied by a sullen expression.

Girls who have already had relationships with this type of young people note that such men are more sensitive to their girlfriend, they are more careful about relationships. According to statistics, shy guys are much more likely to pleasantly surprise their chosen ones in bed than their self-confident friends.

The advantages of such men include the following qualities:

• delicacy;
• attentiveness;
• unobtrusiveness;
• sensitivity.

Shy young people are focused on the impression they make. Therefore, they quickly perceive a change of mood and more easily guess the desires of their beloved. It is easier to come to a compromise with them and just nice to talk to.

What actions are expected from a shy guy girl?

To find a life partner, modest men also need to show sympathy. Otherwise, the chosen one will not understand that they sympathize with her. It is important to identify your strengths, such as delicacy, and weaknesses - nervous chuckles, chaotic hand movements. Based on these observations, you need to appropriately show signs of sympathy for the girl you like, for example, in the form of a half smile, glances and body language.

It is important for a person to understand that he is welcome. Otherwise, the girl, even if she liked the guy, will choose avoidant behavior. Then the chance to continue communication will be missed.

Anna Davydova

An interesting question is, which girls are more liked by young people? You can often hear the opinion that modest girls attract the attention of guys. But in practice, often, a young person is fascinated by completely different qualities. Is it worth striving for modesty in today's world?

Why guys like shy girls

Even in the last century, modesty was considered an undeniable virtue. However, at present, a very modest girl runs the risk of remaining unclaimed both in her personal life and in her profession. The conditions of modern life are such that it is necessary to be able to present yourself in order to please men and colleagues. In this case, excessive tightness can become a serious obstacle.

Young guys rarely pay attention to shy girls who do not stand out from the crowd. However, when it comes to serious relationships and readiness for marriage, a man really evaluates his companion according to several criteria, which include her behavior. In this case, a modest beautiful girl is more likely to become a legal wife.

We can say that the future spouse makes quite practical requirements for the bride:

• First of all, if the girl is very modest, there will be no family problems associated with jealousy. By its nature, the lady of the heart is not prone to windy behavior and will not provoke her husband to inappropriate actions, flirting with his friends and strangers;
• As a rule, a modest woman prefers the silence of her apartment to noisy entertainment in nightclubs. From such brides, subsequently, magnificent wives are obtained, capable of creating comfort in the house and feeding the whole family with culinary masterpieces;
• Another reason that makes modest girls very attractive in the eyes of guys is the lack of interest in shopping. Shyness and modesty will save the family budget, since the future wife will completely manage with a minimum set of wardrobe and will never spend finances on excesses;
• Virginity is one of the most common arguments why guys like modest girls. Any man is pleased to know that he is the first and only, this significantly increases their self-esteem.

But is it really so?

The innocence of the male sex is amazing. The stereotypes that have developed over the centuries are perceived as unshakable, although everything changes over time. In most cases, all of the above arguments have nothing to do with modesty and can lead to an erroneous opinion when choosing a spouse.

For example, a beautiful girl who does not show coquetry can become the subject of persistent courtship and, accordingly, provoke jealousy. Deprivation of virginity is currently, fortunately, not considered at the level of a crime. It is possible to remain a humble person knowing what sexual intimacy is.

Not necessarily a modest woman will become an excellent housewife. Often, girls of this type prefer to sit all day over a romantic story than to cook pickles.

Clothing is controversial! An independent young woman with a stable income should dress decently.

It is not necessary to spend all your free time shopping. However, the cost of the selected items can sometimes shock the gentleman. Outwardly modest clothes of a girl can be purchased in a well-known boutique, in which, by definition, it is impossible to buy a cheap and vulgar thing.

It is necessary to separate modesty from stiffness. The first quality is characterized by tact, upbringing, the ability to behave in society, the absence of a touch of vulgarity in appearance and habits. The squeezed girl is filled with complexes that make her blush at every male glance, mask her lovely figure with baggy outfits, and refuse to use cosmetics.

It is these individuals who become devoted housewives, quiet and obedient wives. By the way, guys are most often bored of spending time with a girl who is insecure, unable to take the initiative, who does not have a personal opinion and wrings her hands in horror at the slightest hint of intimacy. Usually a young man is interested in the opinion of others about his girlfriend, he is pleased if his friends like her.

For a status person, the excessive modesty of a life partner can be a problem. On duty or social status, such a man is often present at corporate parties or social events. The chosen one, unable to hold a conversation, can seriously harm his reputation.

Is it possible to cultivate modesty in yourself? Psychologists are sure that with due diligence, a persistent person is able to develop almost any quality in himself.

Become a modest girl: how to develop the necessary qualities in yourself

In fact, the set of rules that a shy woman must adhere to is quite simple:

• If a girl uses obscene expressions in her speech, it is impossible to call her a well-mannered, and even more modest person. However, you can sometimes resort to the emotional manifestation of negative feelings with the help of a mat, but only in the circle of close friends. In a conversation with unfamiliar people, especially men, one should behave culturally.
• One of the signs of modesty is appearance. Of course, no one calls to disfigure your figure with shapeless skirts and stretched T-shirts. However, it is problematic to become modest, emphasizing the appearance with bright cosmetics and catchy things. You should carefully work out your image, leaving defiant necklines and tight silhouettes for parties.
• Excessive consumption of alcohol-containing drinks, smoking, causing laughter is also not worth practicing, especially in public places. Negative factors in assessing behavior are hysteria, capriciousness, obsession.
• The presence of tact is a rare quality that it is desirable to cultivate in oneself. You should not discuss other people's mistakes aloud. It is better to advise a person in private to monitor his behavior.