The behavior of a Turk if the feelings are sincere. Topic: How serious can relations with a Turk be?
One of the components of an unforgettable holiday in Turkey for all women, of course, is the increased attention from Turkish men. The fame of the loving nature of the "hot Turkish guys" seems to have gone around the world, and fixed their image of incorrigible don Juan.
Tourism has always seemed to me one of the branches of show business, where the holiday does not end around the clock. Tourists pay to see the exotic of the East, the bazaar with cheerful trade, the local flavor in all its glory. At the same time, imposing men are considered an integral part of this flavor.
With a lot of competition in tourism among people working in it, it is not without reason that activity in attracting a client is the key to success. Since the majority of buyers are women, the tourism market is mainly focused on them. The best way to get a woman's attention and win her over is to compliment her. To do this, the Turks use all their charm and temperament, and in just 10 minutes spent shopping in a boutique, a woman hears as much good about herself as she has not heard during the whole year in her homeland. Many mistake this behavior for flirting or even molestation.
Turks, who work almost around the clock during the tourist season, cease to distinguish work from life and continue to behave the same way outside their workplace. They see so many beautiful and underdressed women in front of them that the goal of the compliment attack is often not only to increase sales. Many people manage to combine business with pleasure, especially since the main purpose of a holiday in Turkey for many women is not the sea and the sun, but sex.
Tourists change literally every week, so the Turks cannot afford to waste time on long courtship, and effective but inexpensive means are needed to achieve the goal. You can’t go far on compliments alone, you need to impress a girl with something. For example, you can drive it in a luxury car that belongs to a friend, but is passed off as your own, and on the way, point your finger at the first cafe or store that comes across and say: “This is mine!”.
Some girls are replaced by others, and now the end of the season, the streets of the resort areas are empty, and young people have more free time in order to continue summer romances already in correspondence. Some choose a lady of the heart and start a really serious relationship with her, while many correspond with several girls at once in the hope of receiving an invitation from one of them to visit her in their native Norway or Germany. In tourism, many young people dream of getting to Europe at all costs, and for this they are ready to marry a woman twice their age. Among them there are many gigolos living at the expense of single wealthy women from Europe.
A friend of mine, texting a Turkish man she met on vacation last summer, asked, “How can I check if he has many girlfriends like me, or is he really serious, as he says?” I thought about it and offered to write him a letter from another email with the following content: “Hi, we met last summer, remember me?” If he “remembers” and willingly enters into correspondence, then appropriate conclusions can be drawn about the seriousness of his intentions.
Relationships in Modern Turkish Society
Everything described above does not fit in with the vaunted Turkish chastity. However, what is happening in tourism and the behavior that young Turks allow themselves towards foreigners is very far from the norms of behavior in Turkish society.
The influence of the national mentality on every Turk is very great, regardless of his origin and upbringing. The central component of the Turkish mentality is honor ("namus"). The honor of a woman lies in her purity, that is, before marriage - in virginity, and after - in fidelity to her husband. The honor of a man is the honor of the women of his family: mother, sister, daughter, wife. Therefore, a woman should behave in such a way as not to endanger her honor, while a man makes sure that no one infringes on the honor of the women of his environment, and the women themselves behave in a proper manner.
In the old days, the loss of honor was considered an unbearable shame for the family. The husband, who found his wife at the scene of the crime, had to defend his honor by killing both her and the offender. Although these days, such cases, as well as cases of polygamy, are described in Turkish newspapers as relics of the past, namus, as part of the mentality, has not disappeared anywhere.
My husband, who comes from a rather modern Turkish family, said that when his younger sister was 15-16 years old, his fists would not heal from constant fights with her "fans". At that time she wore very short skirts, and, naturally, there was always someone who shouted after her something like “Hey, baby!”. If, by an unfortunate chance for the screaming one, this happened in front of the “baby” brother, the first one received an explanation that it was not worth it to behave like this with his sister. At home, once again, my husband asked my father to influence his sister and make her dress decently so that her appearance would not provoke fights. The upbringing of the daughter went something like this: “Daughter, your brother is complaining about you again, dress like a human being!” - "I dress like a human, dad" - "She says she dresses like a human!" And on this, the educational process on the part of the father was considered complete.
The concept of honor is entirely aimed at protecting women. She must avoid ambiguous situations that threaten her honor, and strange men will try to behave in such a way that her partner does not have to defend the honor of a woman. What is normal for conservative Turks may look like bad manners to us. For example, if a couple meets a friend of her husband on the street, this friend, even being acquainted with his wife, behaves as if she is not here - he will not ask how she is doing, he will not even look in her direction. Unless he says hello, and then only if he has already met her before or has been introduced to her. But this does not mean that both men do not respect the woman - one by ignoring her, and the second by allowing his acquaintance to treat his wife in this way. Quite the contrary - out of respect for the couple, the husband's friend will not allow a situation that compromises the woman.
A brother's conservative friend will behave in exactly the same way towards his sister. Frankly, earlier, when I did not know about the reasons for such a phenomenon, such situations irritated me very much, and I considered the Turks who behave in this way to be boors. Nevertheless, we can say that this phenomenon is quite rare - mainly in small towns. More often, the Turks, as true connoisseurs of female beauty, behave like this:
Namus does not forbid a husband to be unfaithful to his wife. In addition, today the loyalty of one partner to another depends, first of all, on his moral principles - in this, the Turks are no different from the Europeans.
Many of the problems that tourists have on vacation in Turkey are the result of ignorance of the Turkish mentality. For the Turks, the looseness of a woman in the company of unfamiliar men, as well as revealing clothes, is a direct invitation to molestation, since, in their opinion, a decent woman will never allow herself such behavior. At the same time, for some reason, many Russian girls are sure that in Turkey it is necessary to look as sexy as possible. She herself observed how already some ladies came out of the plane in dresses with breathtaking necklines, which not only Turks, but also Russian men would not leave indifferent.
Each Turkish family may have its own ideas about what is considered indecent, dishonorable behavior (what the Turks call "ayyp"). For a girl from a traditional family, laughter in the presence of strange men will be considered crossing the “ayyp” border, and for a modern-educated city dweller, a kiss in the street will not be shameful.
Turks know that Europeans have their own ideas about morality. Therefore, a man sitting down with tourists on the beach, although he will cause disapproval among other Turks, no one will tell him anything until the woman herself declares the inappropriateness of such behavior. When she does this, that is, when she defines the boundaries of her concept of "ayyp", she can, if necessary, count on the help of others.
In general, any woman herself is able to control the distance in relation to men with the help of clothes and her behavior. Women in Turkey are by no means as disenfranchised and as a victim of male power, as it is considered in the West. If a woman behaves unambiguously, does not get into ambiguous situations and does not provoke their occurrence, then she gains control over the situation and is able to turn it in the right direction.
It's a shame, but Turkish women can afford to walk around in short dresses, and no one bothers them, and tourists are downright hunted. The thing is that relations between Turks will always develop according to their own rules, with an eye on society, while everything is much simpler with tourists.
However, one should not label all Turkish men at once, just as one cannot speak of all Western women as easily accessible and vulgar, which the Turks consider them to be.
Turkish men in life
What, after all, so attracts Western women in Turks?
Most modern European men believe that they should not show their feelings, that a real man never cries, that complimenting a woman even when she really deserves them is superfluous, that cleaning, cooking, washing dishes and raising children is not a man’s business, and weekends are meant to be spent in the company of your friends over a glass of beer.
Most Turks are the complete opposite of Western men: they are not shy in expressing their feelings, and, even with a small vocabulary of a foreign language, they are able to say so much pleasant things to a woman that she will feel like a queen; they do not divide work in the family into men's and women's, many of them are excellent cooks, and they enjoy spending their free time with their families. It is very common to see a man walking in the park with two small children on a day off, or several Turkish families having a picnic together: while the women, gathered together, rest from a week spent in housework, the men look after the children. In addition, an emancipated Western woman is surprised to find that it is very pleasant to be patronized by a man. Turks do not drink as much as Russians, and almost all of them, thanks to their upbringing with an extensive list of “ayyp” (indecent) things, have a certain cultural core that will not allow them to lose face.
It is clear that all Turks are different, besides, when some positive quality is present in too much quantity, it can become negative: guardianship can turn into tyranny, sensuality into short temper, and too much moral principles into hypocrisy and tediousness .
Summing up, I will say once again that it is not worth judging the whole nation by its individual representatives, even, it would seem, by a rather large number of them. Unfortunately, tourism is an environment in which the worst human qualities are manifested. And real life in Turkey goes on as usual.
P.S. You can tell about your personal experience of communicating with Turkish men, as well as about many other things related to Turkey, in a specially created section of the forum!
Every nationality has its own characteristics. This does not prevent a huge number of Russian girls and Turkish men from finding each other, falling in love, creating families and raising bilingual children.
But mixed marriage is often an extra reason for conflicts associated, most often, with a misunderstanding of culture, traditions and language. Let's try to understand Turkish men, especially since February 14 is a great occasion to talk about love and relationships.
Family comes first
The Turks are very attached to the family, ready to take care, provide, which makes them enviable contenders for the role of husbands. But there is also the other side of the coin. Firstly, for a Turk, his family, relatives, even not very close ones, are of great importance, so that joint holidays and the arrival of guests can resemble the Tatar-Mongol invasion. Secondly, the influence of parents on the son's personal life can be so great that if the Turkish mother does not approve of the bride, especially a foreigner, you can forget about a serious relationship. And it doesn't matter how old the son is - 20 or 40. True, this is usually typical of more religious families.
Patriotism
“Ne mutlu türkum diyene!” (“What a blessing to call yourself a Turk!”). This capacious phrase spoken by Ataturk combines all the love and pride of any Turk for his country and nation. The Turkish flag, the portrait of Ataturk and other symbols of the Turkish Republic are sacred. And if you decide to connect your life with a Turk, you will also need to accept his homeland. With all the pluses and minuses, although there are obviously more of the latter.
Conservatism
The Turks are principled in their passions. They are sensitive to change and innovation. This manifests itself both in business and in personal life. It is very difficult to get a Turk to try a new suspicious dish, like sushi or herring under a fur coat. But for some reason almost every second Turk loves borscht. If you want to win the heart of a Turkish man, learn how to cook borscht.
Emotionality
Many note that Turkish men, despite their masculine appearance, are quite vulnerable, sensitive, romantic, passionate and childishly touchy. The Turk is unlikely to object to watching a good melodrama. But their emotions can change as dramatically as the weather in the south in winter, and this can often take you by surprise. So a sunny hot day is abruptly replaced by a cold wind and a night thunderstorm. Turks easily make compliments, declare their love, call for marriage, promise stars and the moon from the sky, that they can also quickly change their mind and dissolve into oblivion.
Polygamy
Perhaps, deep down, every Turk, more than any other man, considers himself Sultan Suleiman and dreams of a harem. They can often be caught red-handed, both in real and virtual life. Turks, even married ones, are active users of dating sites and social networks, able to work for two or even three "fronts" without feeling the slightest remorse. But God forbid if someone starts flirting with his chosen one.
Jealousy
Turkish men are often so jealous that they can forbid their girlfriend or wife to work, monitor the chastity of clothes, control calls and correspondence, do not allow them to leave somewhere without him or return home late. But the phrase “Benim eşim türk” (“My husband is a Turk”) acts like a magic spell on pickup trucks who want to get acquainted.
Practicality
A rare Turk understands without explanation why you need to give a girl flowers when there is beauty around. The only exception is Valentine's Day (Sevgililer günü). And even then it may not be a stylish bouquet, but a houseplant. The Turks are practical guys, so things that are useful in the household can also act as a gift. But not a single Turk will allow a woman to pay for herself in a cafe or restaurant. This is a matter of honor.
Love for purity
Despite common stereotypes, the Turks are distinguished by their special cleanliness. Leaves an imprint and religion. This can reach the point of disgust, and the Turks will not go to eat in a cafe where there is dirt in the kitchen and on the tables. Perfect cleanliness should reign in the Turkish house. True, this duty falls mainly on the shoulders of the wife, the keeper of the hearth.
Football
Turks are very fond of football, and the division into fans of a particular club is quite strict. And if your Turkish chosen one is a fan of Besiktas, do not even think about saying that you like Fenerbahce much more than black and white striped footballers. Turks like to watch football with friends in a bar. They react to each goal with their inherent emotionality.
Public opinion
Judgment from neighbors, friends, family, colleagues, passers-by, accompanied by clattering of the tongue, shaking the head, gossip and gossip is a phenomenon that Turks prefer to avoid. They try to maintain good relations with everyone, believing that "a bad world is better than a good quarrel." It is also not very common for Turks to show their feelings openly in public, so you can see openly kissing couples, except perhaps in big cities or at the peak of the season in resorts or nightclubs.
Turkish language
Many Turks easily speak different foreign languages, including Russian, but still, their native Turkish language is closer to them, and for many Turkish words and expressions it is simply difficult to find analogues. So knowledge of Turkish is a great advantage in the eyes of a Turkish man.
Treat yourself or your loved one! In honor of the holiday of all lovers, Turkish language courses "Dialogue" give 14% discount on online course "Effective Turkish" ()!
You can send the link to your Turkish boyfriend or husband - it will be a great hint for a practical gift. And you will tighten up the language, and you will please the Turkish man by declaring the seriousness of your intentions to finally learn his native language.
GLOSSARY:
Aşk ("ashk") - love
Aile ("aile") - family
Sevgililer günü ("sevgeliler gunu") - Valentine's Day
Eş ("ash") - spouse
Temiz ("temiz") - pure
Kıskançlık ("kyskanchlyk") - jealousy
How to win the love of a Turk? What needs to be done to marry an ashkym? August 2nd, 2013
When asked to tell their story, I see that our beauties make the same mistakes, as a result of which their chosen one simply runs away. They do it not because they are fools or do not know how to behave with men, but because they do not know HOW to behave precisely with the Turks. In relations with an ashkym, they behave like with a Russian, and this is fundamentally ignorant and leads to an epic fail.
Required minimum knowledge:
1. Collect reliable information about him. Who does he work, the level of education, age - this is very important. It is also important where he comes from (born, not where he lives) and where his parents come from. Find out if he served in the army. Who is he by nationality. A man from Turkey, not obezatekno Turks. He can be a Kurd (which is not very good) or a Laz or an Armenian or an Iranian or a Greek, etc. Knowing where he came from. When talking, you can show off knowledge. It will please him. You earn a plus.
2. I used to think that Turks are the same as we are, Russians (Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan - we still have the same mentality). The Turks, of course, are closer to us than the Germans, for example, but all the same, Russian logic cannot be applied to them. Therefore, be sure to read books on intercultural communication. From such books you will understand that, despite what he says, all the same, the mother in the family is the main one, especially if she is richer than her father. That a cousin can come and live with him is unlikely. If this was a cousin, she would not have come alone, but accompanied. Etc.
3. Islam. I'll tell you a little trick known to the Europeans of the Middle Ages: if you want to attract a Muslim to your side, ask him about Islam. Religion leaves a very serious imprint on traditions and society. Even if a person is not religious, he will still be happy to wait for Kurban Bayram or not drink water on the street in Ramadan. In addition, religion in Turkey is a lever of pressure. If you use it correctly, you can correct the behavior of your chosen one. Some convert to Islam to keep the Turk, but personally I condemn it. In any case, it is necessary to know about Islam (ideally, to know well). Otherwise, you will never understand why he prefers silver and platinum to yellow gold, why he draws curtains on the 9th floor, why you can’t give a blowjob in the shower after sex, etc.
4. Get Started
So, the character of a Turkish man can be called quite contradictory. No wonder this country is located, as it were, at the intersection of East and West, just between Europe and Asia. The Turks greatly honor their country and speak of it as a great power, but at the same time they are well aware that Turkey is not among the most powerful countries. They are very proud of themselves and their people, like all Muslims, but they suffer from a certain inferiority complex due to the fact that they have to go to Europe to work and obey other people's instructions there. Therefore, the spirit of contradiction always fights in them, on the one hand extolling their people and country, and on the other, condemning them.
The concept of friendship among the Turks is very subjective and is influenced by emotions. However, he will not change his mind several times a day. The Turk will not hide if he considers a person his enemy, and if he recognizes him as his friend, there can be no doubt about his honesty. The Turks are proud and greedy for flattery, therefore hypocritical people often try to make friends with them, using it for their own purposes. Turkish men cannot stand criticism, even if it is objective, said carelessly, it can ruin friendship. Also in the dispute, rejecting all arguments and sound logic, the Turk will always stick to his opinion.
The Turkish people have an excellent sense of humor. Their sparkling satire is considered one of the best in all of Europe. They easily joke about themselves and criticize their country, but only they themselves are allowed to do this. In no case will they tolerate criticism and ridicule from foreigners.
Turks are very scrupulous about the concept of trust. Feeling a lack of trust in him, the Turk becomes irritated and angry, and may even refuse to have any common business with you. And vice versa, realizing that you trust him, he imposes certain obligations on himself. However, this does not mean that he will unconditionally keep his word. There is always a certain fatalism in him, in his understanding everything depends on the will of Allah. Therefore, most often in all his actions one can see slowness, negligence and optionality in the performance of any affairs or assignments. Even a promise to do something tomorrow does not at all mean confidence in it, but soon only a probability. This has been customary in Turkey since ancient times, therefore it is not worth getting angry and offended for this, and your anger can only achieve contempt in the eyes of a Turk.
Turkish people are very hospitable. Even without knowing a foreigner very well, after several meetings they can invite him to visit them. The only thing they can fear is political troubles, because if they are sure that this can be avoided, the foreigner has a great chance to experience the full power of Turkish hospitality.
Turkish men treat women as owners. If they have already won the heart of a lady, then they consider her completely theirs. They are very jealous and extremely quick-tempered, therefore they will never allow their woman to talk to other men. They consider themselves leaders in relationships and love to be obeyed unquestioningly. Many women quite like to be led and put all the responsibility on men's shoulders.
As a rule, Turkish men do not like smart women. They prefer that a woman not have a special intelligence or carefully hide it in the presence of a man. Turks are not one of those men who will appreciate the determination and independence in a woman. They need someone who can calmly do household chores and create a normal family life. At the same time, the social circle for the wife of a Turkish man can only consist of women. She can communicate with them only during daylight hours, and even then she must definitely ask permission from her husband.
Content:
Türkiye is a paradise for foreign tourists. Good service and reasonable prices make Russian women want to visit this country again and again. But the shores of the sunny peninsula give memories not only of a pleasant stay, but also of local temperamental men. It's hard to resist the beauty of these burning and tanned brunettes. But it's one thing to spin a holiday romance, and quite another - build a serious relationship with a Turk.
How to please a Turkish man?
In Turkey, there is an opinion that all Slavic women are of easy virtue. This is due to the fact that in the 90s of the last century a stream of Russian "moths" poured there. There were probably many Natashas among them, because Turks used to call all Slavic tourists Natasha. Naturally, such an appeal has a contemptuous connotation. In addition, real propaganda against Russian girls has unfolded in the Turkish media.However, not all Turks have a bad opinion of foreigners. Many of them dream of meeting a good Russian girl. But in order to, you need to show all your best qualities and hide the shortcomings as much as possible. Remember that Turkish men are only having fun with easily accessible young ladies.
Of great importance is where the Turkish guy was born and what kind of upbringing he has. Türkiye is a unique country located on the verge of European and Asian civilizations. Residents of large cities are strongly influenced by Western culture, so they can be considered modern people. It is better to look for just such a Turkish man. But if your friend comes from a small town or village in the east of the country, you will have a hard time. In the Turkish outback, people are still faithful to the old strict customs.
If you want to please a Turkish man, do not dress too provocatively, do not open your chest and legs above the knee. Of course, the exception is the beach, where everyone relaxes in swimsuits. For such an "outfit" the Turk will not condemn you, but when you go on a date with him, dress more decently. Even at the beginning of the acquaintance, it is important to show yourself on the good side, as well as to find out the true intentions of the gentleman. After all, many Turks are simply looking for beautiful mistresses.
Turkish men in relationships
Turks- those are still storytellers. They know how to hang noodles and give compliments. But everything you heard from the Turkish guy should be divided by eight. It is better to find out the real level of his income, because if a man is not rich and does not have his own home, then you will most likely have to live with his parents.There is a big gap between the rich and the poor in Turkey, but every Turk tries to appear richer than he really is. In addition, Muslim men look older than their years. For example, a high school graduate may look like a senior student, and a young specialist after university can look like a respectable groom. This fact is often used by the Turks to seduce foreign girls.
Turkish men they know how to look after beautifully, they like to give gifts, treat them with sweets. In Asia, relations are dominated by a man, but if we compare Turkey with other Muslim countries, it is certainly the most democratic. No one will force you to wear a veil, but get ready for the fact that a guy will accompany you everywhere, and in the future - a husband. Of course, no one will forbid a girl to go shopping or walk around the city herself, but in Turkey it is not customary for women to visit restaurants or entertainment centers without their men. Therefore, you will have to change some habits.
Are Turks Jealous??
Very! But if you do not give rise to suspicion, your man will worry less. It is important not to stumble upon a family despot, because it is in the genes of the Turks to dominate a woman. Therefore, study your chosen one well before tying the knot. Keep in mind that the Turks are very persistent. If a Turkish man sets out to win your favor, he will definitely achieve this. But getting rid of the courtship of an annoying gentleman will be extremely difficult. Sometimes Russian girls have to literally run away from a sunny country. 
Turkish family
As already mentioned above, the best option for you is a wealthy man who has saved up for his apartment. Getting along with a relative of a Turkish husband will not be easy. In the parental home, not only the father and mother often live, but also the unmarried sisters of the guy, and his younger brothers with their wives. Turkish women, although they behave with restraint in dealing with men, still like to sort things out among themselves. Their "intra-harem" passions can be safely compared with those that were in full swing in the TV series "The Magnificent Century". Be prepared for the worst - your husband's relatives can boycott you and literally survive from home.Your boyfriend must be a bachelor. This is another important condition for a happy relationship with a Turkish man. Many married Turks promise fabulous love and carefree family life to naive foreign women. But by "family life" they mean the maintenance of a woman, and not a legal marriage with her. Turks rarely get divorced, because it is ... unprofitable. The fact is that, according to the law, a Turkish man is obliged to pay alimony not only for children, but also for an unemployed ex-wife. And most of the women in Turkey do not work.
For a beautiful Russian mistress, a Turk can even buy a separate apartment. He will visit from time to time to satisfy his romantic and passionate aspirations. And of course, he will provide the woman with money. Many Russian girls are quite satisfied with such relationships.
But back to legal marriage. Turkish husband- a real provider and protector. But part of his income will go to help relatives. Turks love children especially girls. In Turkey, boys are more attached to their mothers, and daughters are more attached to their fathers. If it comes to divorce, the children will be given to the mother. But if the husband proves that she behaved unworthily, the court will take his side. After the divorce, the Turk will help the children, even if they leave with their mother to another country. Turkish men cherish family traditions, to refuse a child is low and shameful for them.
