It all depends on the purpose of the compliment. Someone does it to please another, someone just successfully states the facts, someone likes to manipulate in this way, someone speaks out of sincere motives and in order to please his interlocutor.

A compliment is an art that requires certain skills and abilities from a person. If used at random, it can be turned into an instrument of resentment and flattery. There are several secrets that will help you understand how to say pleasant things correctly and beautifully.

For whatever purpose you do it, try to do it sincerely. Flattery is always noticeable, and instead of positive emotions, hostility can be aroused.


Remember that a compliment is aimed at bringing joy to people; with its help, goodness should increase.
But flattery already performs completely different functions: for getting what you want, cunning, condescension, and other not so altruistic motives.

Blurred praise is no longer praise. To tell a person: “you are a great fellow and smart girl” is like comparing him with the majority, without focusing on his uniqueness, originality and peculiarity. Common hackneyed phrases and compliments evoke a sense of pretense and slyness in their recipient. In this case, you will be one of those many who have already said this. Make an accurate compliment and justify it. Explain to your interlocutor why you wanted to note this particular quality.

Praise merit

Starting communication with a little-known person, note his positive aspects, which are immediately visible. It can be a good face, a figure, a beautifully delivered literary speech, an interesting style, and more.

Do not try to draw deep psychological conclusions, because the first impression is deceptive and you can pass for a flatterer.

Every person wants to be praised. Not everyone has obvious qualities to brag about. To win over a person, find something in him that is not outstanding and give him great value. For example, if a cute but very shy girl is standing on the sidelines at a party, tell her how much you like modest and shy girls and explain why.


Look for hidden virtues in people, even if they look like flaws.

Less high-flown phrases

Literary grandiloquent comparisons are, of course, very sweet and romantic, but in reality they look contrasting and implausible. Do not bombard the girl with phrases like "your eyes are like two oceans, and a star is burning in your forehead." In this case, she will look at you with slight surprise and, most likely, move away.

Be simple and they will reach out to you.

Also, compliments, if possible, should be brief, otherwise you risk drowning the true value of your word in a stream of other, less significant phrases.

This moment is very important and very subtle. Especially it must be adhered to when you compliment girls, because they will find a catch even where there is none.

A compliment with a double bottom can cause your interlocutor to have completely undesirable feelings, such as resentment, irritation.

Such dubious are phrases like “You look good today, just like never before”, that is, before a person looked bad, but today something has descended on him. Or “this color of the blouse makes you younger”, here get ready for a strong and long resentment from a woman, because you said that she used to look old.

Make it a habit

All advice is good, but there is one thing - how not to forget to give compliments? In order for your brain to give out the right words at the right time, program it.

Learn to say nice things every day to employees, relatives, passers-by and just people you like.

At first it will be difficult to do this, there will be a lack of imagination, but over time you will get used to making people feel good. You will feel that you yourself have changed, and your environment has changed. Do not look for a reason to compliment, tell people about their virtues simply and naturally.

The phrase must match the moment

If you still decide to make a standard compliment, then first look at the person, whether it would be appropriate to do it at this moment and in this place. If you tell an employee “you look good today”, but in fact he has circles under his eyes, a disgruntled face and a soiled shirt.

Remember that a compliment must be on a solid, truthful basis, then it will bring pleasure to you and the person to whom you present it.

Also pay attention to the fact that your praise is understood by the interlocutor, otherwise all your efforts will be in vain.

You need to put yourself in the place of another person and understand what he would like to hear from you. Do not forget to take into account gender, age, hobbies and value orientations. So speaking pleasant to a man, it is necessary to focus on his mental abilities, a woman - on appearance; a child will be pleased to hear praise of his toys, a teenager about his uniqueness, an old man about his good deeds done in his life.

If you want people to show genuine sympathy for you and be disposed to communicate, learn the art of giving them compliments and accepting them in your address.

The origin of this word is French. Compliment means a special form of praise, admiration, recognition, approval. Pleasant words, expressed for various reasons, can raise self-esteem and mood, give pleasure and skillfully emphasize dignity.

When another person says nice words to one person, it raises the self-esteem of the speaker, since you need to have a certain amount of confidence in order to notice the good qualities of other people and voice it out loud. The art of seeing the good in others develops the ability to see the good in oneself.

It is important to learn how to give compliments without falling into rude flattery. By allowing one slight exaggeration, you can spoil everything and be rejected by the interlocutor. This distinguishes flattery from a sincere compliment coming from the heart.

Follow a few important rules so that the expressed praise or admiration is appropriate and attractive:

1. Each compliment has its own addressee, whether it be a man or a woman, an employee or a client. Look at the person when you say nice words to him.
2. Be as open and honest as possible. Without a manifestation of sincerity, your words, any of your phrases will seem far-fetched flattery.
3. Especially valuable are those compliments that reflect personality traits that distinguish her from the crowd. For example, “You move so gracefully!” or "You have impeccable taste" and the like.
4. Let your gestures and facial expressions match your words. Smile!
5. Compliments are not to be taken casually.
6. Avoid common cliches - the Russian language is very rich in interchangeable words.
7. A phrase like “You are great at math problems, go to an economic university” is no longer a compliment, but a lesson. Avoid it.

Everyone loves compliments. Women will appreciate the admiration for their appearance, taste, figure, youthfulness. It is better for men to give compliments about their character, achievements, business qualities.

Don't treat giving compliments as a duty. After all, this is one of the win-win ways to please the interlocutor you sympathize with. Give compliments to everyone you want: friends, relatives, acquaintances and strangers. Not for any benefit, but simply because you want it.

How to accept compliments?

Despite? that even a cat is pleased with a kind word, compliments are far from always perceived as something sincere and pleasant. Especially for us, the Eastern Slavs, rare compliments are perceived quite adequately. Low self-esteem often prevents us from accepting a compliment. There is no worse situation when a young man blushes, sweats and hardly squeezes out of himself “You look amazing”, and the girl in response mumbles that she has not made up, has not had enough sleep, and this dress has been worn for a hundred years. A well-spoken compliment is half the battle. It still needs to be adequately answered.

The ideal response is sincere joy, as if you were told amazing news, a smile and words in response.

Compliments are accepted:

1. Thanks and with dignity.
2. Don't limit yourself to a simple "thank you".
3. Do not try to belittle your dignity, do not mind.
4. Don't comment or ask questions, especially if the compliment is ambiguous or inappropriate (this can be done in your mind).
5. The most correct reaction to a compliment is the replica "Thank you for the compliment" or "Thank you, that's so nice of you."
6. Accept yourself as you are. Your nose, height, freckles, figure, which seem imperfect to you, in the eyes of others do not seem so at all. Maybe that's why they love you.
7. Do not react to praise as a question requiring proof. Do not tell the inside story about a dress you bought at a sale or how you cooked a new dish.
8. Never ask the question “well, how do you like me” about new makeup, hairstyles, clothes. Do not try to draw too much attention to yourself - this is tactless! Especially if you obviously went too far with the new image, and your loved ones delicately decided to remain silent.

Don't be discouraged if your compliment seems far-fetched to you. It is much easier to criticize than to praise. Look for your options for compliments and be sure to apply them in your life. You will see that it works, and the people around you feel very wonderful about it. After all, we all love to be treated well.

Incredible Facts

Who among us does not like compliments? This is one of the few things that can instantly skyrocket our self-esteem.

But you know what could be better than getting a compliment? It's his to do. And not just banal, it's a killer compliment.

Such a compliment will make a person's day brighter. Such a compliment will definitely be remembered, he will remember it for many years. From such a compliment, a person will draw strength during periods of emotional distress.

Learning how to give such compliments is one of the best things that should be yours. social weapon. This compliment works wonders for any relationship. It takes them to the next level and opens doors you never dreamed of.

How to learn it?

Below are the 10 steps you need to take to learn how to give a killer compliment.

How to compliment

1. You must genuinely want to give the killer compliment.

Do not praise someone for the sake of praise. Don't think of a compliment as something casual or necessary. You really want to do it. You should have a desire to make a person pleasant inside you.

If you really want to do it, then the person really deserves it. If you don’t have a sincere desire to compliment, then you shouldn’t even try. You will simply appear in an unfavorable light, you will be considered insincere.

2. Prepare a compliment

Anything that is high quality and of real value takes time to prepare. Do not use standard compliments. Dig deeper and think about the person. You must be inwardly attuned to the fact that a killer compliment is the most important thing you need to do.

You can make it...

What a compliment

3. Observing and noticing something special

Nothing speaks of insincerity more than vagueness and cliché.

Point out something that is unique and specific to that person. Mark any of his qualities, manner of communication, habit. It should be something that makes him stand out from the rest.

Make a list of the positive qualities you like about him/her.

What is it about this person that excites you the most?

What makes him stand out from the crowd?

What is its uniqueness that makes it what it is?

What would you say to this person if he was going somewhere far away for 10 years?

Try to remember something very insignificant that no one has talked about before you.

Appreciate the little things that a person does.

When you find these little things, describe them. Be specific. At the same time, you must be able to…

4. Justify why you think it's great

So you have a killer compliment. When you say it, the person will either blush in embarrassment or smile from ear to ear. Don't stop there. Explain why you find it special.

For example, if your killer compliment is, "I've noticed that you never talk bad about people behind their backs." The explanation might be: "This is an extremely rare quality these days, and I think it says a lot about you as a person."

Thus, if you can identify something special in a person, you can easily explain why you think so. Do not leave a compliment "alone". Justify it.

How to give a nice compliment

5. Give real examples to support what is said.

Recall a case when a person showed a quality you noted. Take it back to that moment and light up the sieve action from your position.

According to the example above, it might sound something like this: "I remember once, the whole team was badmouthing Jim. You didn't. Instead, you stood up for him and supported him, although he was not there. I think that at that moment, you have greatly risen in the eyes of others, having received a new portion of respect.

Having heard the above example from the past, and in detail, the person will not doubt that your compliment is sincere. But you must remember that...

6. The compliment must be given at the right time.

Do it only when you are alone with this person. Do not do this while in a group. People remember things like this more vividly when they hear them alone with the "giver" because there is no one around to compete for attention.

Also, don't give your killer compliment right after the salutation. Say hello, take an interest in current affairs, let the conversation begin. If there is mutual understanding between you and both of you are comfortable in each other's company, you will feel the moment when a compliment will be most welcome.

But never make it raw.

How can you compliment

7. Preface the compliment with an appropriate question.

“Do you know what I noticed about you?”, “Do you know what I like about you?”, “Do you know what I admire most about you?”, “You know what, in my opinion, makes you stand out ?"

Of course, this is a little trick, because each person is primarily interested in himself.

Learning to respond to a compliment means discarding all the bad, accepting all the good and using it to your advantage.
As a child, I hid under the table when they started singing "Happy birthday" in my honor. I was terribly embarrassed when they noticed me, and was against any compliments addressed to me.

Common situation? Let's learn how to properly respond to compliments without denying or ignoring them.

Compliments are usually meant to improve your mood, feelings, and build your self-esteem. By rejecting them, you are doing yourself a disservice and offending someone who wishes you well.

Source: ravepad.com

Accept the compliment. Great! Someone noticed how fantastic you are!

How to respond to a compliment

Wanting to divert attention from ourselves and downplay our merits, we often, in response to the words “What cool jeans you have,” we begin to talk about the fact that they are old and already out of fashion.

Learn to just say "thank you". Let me say something nice to you and about you.

Accept it, don't push it away.

Is any compliment sincere?

Of course not. It happens that under the guise of a compliment, you get a signal that someone is trying to confuse you or even manipulate you.

Accept it, but make it clear that you know the speaker's intentions.

Say thanks

Don't be embarrassed. It is so simple! Don't feel the need to return the compliment.

Reciprocate

If you feel that someone is just “begging” for a compliment and needs it, say something nice about him in return. For example, she praises your hair, while clearly expecting words of approval about her new haircut.

Do not be stingy with a return compliment in such cases. Together you will get a charge of good mood.

Don't cut the compliment

If someone praises your item, don't rush to say that you bought it at half price on sale. Can you tell me where and when you got it. Don't skimp on the compliment! Your stuff is really great!

Forget about flaws

Did you receive a compliment? Accept it. Don't start listing your flaws. The words "I like the color of your lipstick" should not be said that you bought it to disguise a cold on your lip.

Return insincere compliments

If a compliment carries a shade of hostility, envy, and you feel it, do not be silent. Give it back. Why do you need compliments that are meant to diminish your dignity?

Are they trying to manipulate you?

Is someone complimenting you because they need something from you? And you, on the contrary, are not interested at all. Thank you for the compliment and close the topic. Does a guy compliment you because he wants to woo you? Compliments become obscene? Stop communicating.

Put it into conversation

You were complimented, and this person interested you. Accept praise, try to make a compliment the first step to a conversation.

This often works when a guy tries to get to know a girl. “You are in great shape! Are you doing something?" Why not start a conversation about your favorite activities?

Don't look for the trick

Have you ever been told that you look like someone? You were told this as a compliment, and you thought: I don’t want to be like him, I don’t like him at all.

Accept the compliment with dignity. After all, the person most likely does not know that you are not very happy. His compliment is not fake at all. He will not call you a freak, smiling sweetly at the same time! Although there are some.

Funny compliment! Sometimes he says to bring you joy, sometimes - to put you in your place. And sometimes there is a hidden meaning in it, not at all expressed in words.

You were given a compliment. Think about why you were praised. If the message is good and sincere, accept it with grace, without rejecting or belittling it. If not, make it clear that you don't need it.
Compliments are small pleasures, and it is better to accept them than to reject them. It took me a long time to learn how to answer them correctly.

So, accept the compliment, trust it, and move on.