If it seems that in a relationship it blew cold. Coldness in relations with her husband. Emotionally cold type of man

Unfortunately, sometimes our relationship with a loved one seems to be covered with an invisible, but very tangible crust of emotional ice. If this is not stopped in time, the ice will become thicker, which means that it will be even more difficult to melt it. Do not blame yourself and do self-digging or throw accusations at your partner. There are ways to change relationships for the better.

But, first, you need to figure out why this is happening? What causes alienation and coldness? Do I need to do something or is it just a difficult period? It turns out that all issues can be resolved, if there is a desire and patience.

Why do hearts turn to ice?

Periods of love succeed one another, like the seasons. Once upon a time there was a candy-bouquet period between you, once stormy passions were in full swing, and now it seems to you that the fire of love has died out and the relationship is beginning to “freeze”. Do not panic, look for the guilty and unnecessarily wind yourself up. Everything can be better than it seems.

But why is this happening, is love really getting weaker? Yes, sometimes this can happen, but you should not react negatively to it. Any problem requires a solution, and the solution begins with finding the causes of the problem.

The reason for the "cold war" in a relationship is most often the loss of interest in a partner. Interest can be lost only in one partner, then the second will automatically be doomed to suffering and pain. It happens that both partners begin to lose interest, going headlong into work, for example, or into household chores. Not necessarily the lack of interest is associated with the search for interest on the side and in the arms of a homeowner or a homeowner - very often a person can simply earn money, immerse himself in solving some other problems not related to relationships.

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For a woman, even the birth of a child can cause a loss of interest in a partner. It is not surprising that after a tumultuous turning point in a relationship (whether it is an addition to the family or a formal marriage), passions can subside and it may seem to you that the relationship has cooled down.

How to get back interest?

The interest of a partner can not only be resurrected, but also multiplied many times over so that your relationship sparkles with new colors of feelings. But this is a difficult, painstaking work that will require your full dedication and involvement. Never let a relationship take its course and remember that managing a love relationship should begin not with controlling a partner, but with self-control.

You must pull yourself together and turn on your fantasy at full power: organize a romantic walk, dinner at a restaurant, a walk around the places of "military glory". Do something to remind your partner of the early stages of a relationship. Although these recommendations may look banal and trite, they will be of great benefit if they are approached responsibly and seriously.

In no case do not arrange interrogations with passion, do not harass your partner with whining about "What is wrong between us?". The biggest mistake is creating an unhealthy hype around the problem. Example: the husband really has problems at work, and he began to spend less time with his wife, immersed in his thoughts. Some women begin to rapidly panic, build apocalyptic illusions, horrified by the coming end of the relationship. And, most importantly, women begin to pull and disturb their partner with completely inappropriate talk about the fact that the partner has lost interest in them. This energy that women spend on sorting out relationships will be much more useful to spend on their restoration. And, of course, here you can not do without the most important recommendation: think more about you, think less about yourself.

If the problem is you

If you feel that you are beginning to experience emotional cooling towards your partner, try to step back and look at your relationship from the outside. Perhaps it really is not what it seemed to you initially. Be objective, do not look for flaws on purpose. If you understand that the chosen person has really become your mistake, you should not torment him with your coldness and detachment. It would be much better to have a frank conversation, during which you can understand what to do with the relationship next.

Give each other a break

While you're thinking about ways to regain interest and get rid of emotional ice, give your partner a break from you. Many problems in relationships begin because of the elementary inability of women to give a man a "breath of air." Trust your companion, let him be alone, do not impose. With a lot of effort, virtually any relationship can be resurrected. But at the same time, do not forget to ask yourself the main thing: do you need it? It is better to make an objective decision. If the relationship has really outlived its usefulness, then you should stop wasting time and effort on both sides.

Alas, not everyone gets temperamental and romantic macho. Most men are quite cold emotionally. The severity of his gaze, he will not smile once again, the last time, perhaps, he uttered them when he made a marriage proposal.

But no matter how cold your iceberg man is, he is still your favorite person. And first of all, it is worth understanding why he is so poor in emotions. The reasons for the external coldness of a man can be ... well, at least 5!

1. Temperament is

He is reserved and calm in almost any situation. It's hard to get him out of it. He is practical and smart and does not consider it necessary to waste himself on unnecessary emotions. He will never hit the table with his fist in a fit of anger. And only a heavy silence can betray his anger. He can love with all his heart perfectly and secretly.

He does not like to admit his weaknesses and often makes high demands on those around him. Strict, but fair, kind, but stingy with emotions - opposite qualities can surprisingly coexist in him. Do not forget that everyone loves as best he can. A phlegmatic nature can both repel you with external coldness, but also interest you in your own, as it may turn out later, rich inner world!

What to do: in this case, almost nothing. Just accept it the way it is and continue to love. After all, each of us has his own temperament. Well, you got such a snowman man. Show emotions for two.

2. Burnt in milk

Perhaps he was once a wonderful, sweet, open and generous guy with emotions. But then an evil, insidious "predator" came in the form of a girl of heavenly beauty and (left, deceived, betrayed, humiliated). This is how a wonderful kind guy turned into a harsh, cold monster, who now considers it his duty to put all representatives of the "predatory sex" in their place. Only the chosen one can change this stereotype in his head, and then if he himself wants it.

What to do: patience and only patience. And in no case do not give up, even if at some point it seems to you that you are hitting a wall. Only your warmth, care and love will eventually help him realize that your feelings are sincere. And then he can open up.

3. Greetings from childhood

In many ways, the attitude of a man to a girl depends on how he was raised. Maybe he just did not have a positive example of attitude towards a woman. Maybe he just doesn't know how to express his emotions. Like a schoolboy who pulls a classmate by the braids is proof of crazy love. The boy grew up, but he did not learn how to express deep emotions normally. The situation is similar to the attitude of men towards dancing - “I don’t know how, therefore I won’t dance.” The same thing can happen with emotions. But, after all, it is quite possible that if a person is restrained, then there is something to restrain.

What to do: Become an example for him. Do what you would like him to do or say. And most importantly, do not demand and do not expect responses or emotions from him. After all, the stone wears away the water. Seeing the manifestation of your feelings, he may begin to show them himself. And at this moment it is important to evaluate his words (by a show of tenderness or a kiss), so that he understands how pleasant and dear you are to what he says or does.

4. Indifferent

Things are worse if he was completely different before - emotionally open, sharing personal experiences, spending free time with you, and even when he was very busy, he managed to write SMS. And now it's been changed? Maybe he just doesn't care about you? And he no longer wants to take part in the exchange of positive emotions? Perhaps he just became indifferent to you?

What to do: in this case, it's time to save the family. And there are many options here. First of all, it is worth talking frankly in order to understand the reasons for alienation. But do not build a conversation on the principle: "it's his own fault", trying to hang all the sins on him. Also, maybe you need to change something in yourself, get carried away with something, in a word, somehow interest a man, surprise him.

5. The reason is not in him

And in whom? Yes, in ourselves! Sometimes the level of our emotions just rolls over, not everyone can stand it. If you every 10 minutes; does not call Pusey, Kitty, Bunny, Kukusik; does not want, embracing, to look; does not respond to another tearful tantrum and does not run on demand to fulfill your whim, there is a high probability of its absolute adequacy. It is quite possible that he is just a normal and mentally healthy man, therefore he gives out impulses of tenderness in a dosed, masculine way.

What to do: just understand that all the disadvantages of his coldness are offset by a high degree of your emotionality. In the end, you are a harmonious couple - ice and fire, which means you complement each other perfectly.

cold star

Among the famous iceberg men, the cold Hollywood star - Keanu Reeves - shines brightly. The press often focuses on its mysteriousness and secrecy. A photo of "sad Keanu Reeves" a few years ago caused a storm of emotions around the world. He does not flicker at social events at all, and in rare interviews he is completely laconic.

Such secrecy and detachment are explained by many by the tragic circumstances of his life more than 10 years ago. In 1993, the actor's best friend, River Phoenix, died. In 1999, he and his beloved Jennifer Syme did not become happy parents, their long-awaited child was born dead. And after a year and a half and herself. Until now, 41-year-old Reeves lives the life of an inveterate bachelor and devotes a lot of time to work. Apparently, no one has yet succeeded in melting the ice in the heart of this man. It is noteworthy that the name of the actor in translation from Hawaiian means "cool mountain breeze."

External coldness is often a defensive reaction. Of course, you can find out what this fortress is protected from and how to find the key to it if you wish. The path to the heart lies in this case through common interests, trusting relationships, and mutual interest in each other. Only love and warmth can melt the ice, although this takes time.

There is a translated and voiced video on the Gloomy Voice YouTube channel that should explain where the coldness between partners comes from and how to deal with it.

At the beginning of a relationship, we are filled with love for each other, but over time, for some reason, feelings fade away. We begin to appreciate the work more, checking the phone while our partner is talking, skipping over how his day went by. For all this, there is a popular superficial explanation - they say, people sooner or later begin to annoy each other. But close acquaintance with something or someone does not always mean that fatigue will come.

There is another explanation for the "cooling" in relations - on the one hand, more gloomy, but at the same time more encouraging. You just need to accept that the loss of interest is a natural and inevitable process. Boredom exists because it hides something more complex and more active. For example, our partner hurt us, made us angry, or scared us in some way. And then we simply did not find an easy way to tell him and ourselves about it.

Withdrawal is a veiled emotional distress. Just a way to cope. You have to fight the feeling that your partner is a monster and you are a weakling. A loving person is a very vulnerable being, this must be reckoned with. It is best to think of a lover as a child - no wiser or more experienced. After all, our ideas and dreams are still guided by these youthful impulses. Even if we have grown under two meters and are close to having children ourselves.

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Trifling grievances, which by adult standards are not worth a penny, cause a real flurry of emotions in such a vulnerable person with childish reactions. This must be kept in mind. As a result, distance becomes a logical defensive reaction, because we do not want to look ridiculous and are afraid to show our childish nature. This is where the cold comes in.

What to do? Get used to the idea that adult rules do not apply to love relationships, and try to speak directly when something excites you and does not suit you. Even if you are afraid to sound ridiculous and infantile. Mutual understanding and forgiveness are key elements of a relationship, and each partner should be aware of when the other has a moment of distress, as described above. If suddenly minor disagreements arise in a relationship that devour them, a constructive dialogue should help fix everything. You don't have to pretend that you don't care if you're hurt. You need to be honest with each other and yourself and understand each situation, then no "cooling" in the relationship can be expected.