How to communicate with a girl in contact: unwritten rules. How to chat with a girl you like

Horror! Guys do not know how to communicate with a girl in contact! I wasn't surprised to find out that the girls were ignoring them. They build a conversation in the same way as on a date or on the phone. The question sits on the question and drives the question.

Perhaps you yourself have communicated the same way up until now. Of course, for us men, there is nothing wrong with the fact that we communicate briefly and almost without emotion. On the contrary, we appreciate when communication is clear and to the point. Especially when it comes to important issues. But for the opposite sex, such communication resembles a conversation with an old man tired of life or an interrogation by a prosecutor.

I thought, thought, analyzed my most successful acquaintances in contact, and decided to write a post on this topic.

How to communicate with a girl in contact

When the social network Vkontakte just appeared and began to develop, attempts to meet beauties were perceived somehow better than now. You could write just "hello", and it was already perceived as something special and outlandish.

“Oh, they wrote to me on VKontakte, cool!” - an approximate train of thought of a beauty who has just registered in this social network. Moreover, those girls who were rarely approached on the street found an outlet there. They had a great opportunity to feel better.

But soon, when VKontakte acquaintances became commonplace, and they began to receive dozens of messages from different guys a day, it became much more difficult to get to know each other.

What can we say about those beauties who posted a lot of beautiful photos on their profile.

How to communicate with a girl in contact, if everything has become so difficult?

Well, it's actually not that scary.

Since then, the situation has changed and an effective correspondence strategy has come to the rescue, which is based on the same laws of attracting women as in real life.

Do you want to know about all the secrets of dating in contact? Then subscribe to my newsletter on this topic. In it, I reveal every moment in detail: from the first phrase, to competent commenting on a photo and taking a phone number.

Did you think that the rules of online correspondence are somehow different from the rules of real communication?

How to please a girl by correspondence in contact

Firstly, take an interest what is written on her wall, in the questionnaire or what is shown in the photographs. If you see that she is interested in some interesting activity, then be sure to discuss it with her.

It's no wonder she mentioned it, right!? Most likely, she wants to be asked exactly about this!

Ask her interesting questions about this topic. Just first think about what kind of questions they ask her about her occupation most often. This is necessary so that you come up with other, more interesting questions.

Secondly, tease her. When you joke about her, it says that:

You have a lot of girls and you can afford to take risks in this way.
You are not amazed by her beauty in the same way as other guys, and appreciate her inner world.

Remember: you appreciate how she knows how to laugh at herself, and how developed her sense of humor is. You judge, not her! See if she can laugh at herself. And with the help of such jokes you determine how developed her sense of humor is.

Read the previous paragraph again and try to absorb these things. This attitude is very important!

Third, do not get hung up on one thing, but rather let her volume of emotions.

This means that you cannot stick to only the first point or only the second. If you are only interested in her inner world and discuss her interests, you will not be able to arouse her sexual mood. Conversely, if you tease all the time, then she may think that you want her to like you too much. In addition, she will perceive a large number of jokes, as clown performance.

And when you demonstrate the behavior of both, then it is attracting her to you. Checked!

Fourth, do not ask multiple questions in a row.

"Dilute" your communication with interesting stories, expressing your opinion and discussing her view of something. Sometimes it is useful to argue with her to warm up her emotions (but gently and not often).

Fifth, don't always be online. Show that you are a busy person.

If you are always online, then she will conclude that:

You have nothing to do.
You really want to get an answer from her (a sign of need).
Or get acquainted not only with her.

Sometimes it’s even useful to leave without warning, breaking off the conversation “mid-sentence”. It will be even more effective if you ask her a question and, without waiting for her answer, leave the contact.

What will it show?

That's right, it will show that you don't care what exactly she answers. Such things are very catchy for almost all girls, no matter how beautiful they may be.

Now you have an idea of how to properly communicate with a girl in contact. However, that's not all! Now I would like to tell you about this.

Is it worth the rush

Perhaps at first it will seem to you that you are already interested in your new acquaintance.

But, most likely, this feeling is deceptive.

Even if she shows that she is interested in communicating with you, this does not mean that she is ready to meet with you.

How to determine that she has this desire?

Signs of interest:

She initiates the conversation herself.
She easily picks up your words and actively develops a dialogue.
She asks you questions.
Set emoticons.

Until you see these signs of interest, don't even try to make an appointment. It is better to spend these efforts on creating this interest.

If you want to learn more detailed communication strategies, then I advise you to read my article “How to communicate with a girl, or balabols are not in fashion now”.

In it, I described the methods of conducting a dialogue, as well as getting rid of all possible problems in communication, which are quite difficult to overcome.

Here's the video I was talking about at the beginning.

For a moment, it seemed these girls don't exist anymore.. But it was not there. At least, it seemed to me that she said it sincerely enough. And what do you think?

I wrote about how to communicate with a girl in contact, and like her by correspondence. Now it's time to cover the issue of the first phrases, compiling catchy comments on the photo and the ability to pull her out on a date.

I know that you came to this blog for knowledge and experience. The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, right?

Need to know about 3 degrees of a girl's interest in Internet correspondence, and about how to jump into the "big leagues" of those with whom she wants to meet. And to know how to make her come to a date already "ready", i.e. in a state of interest in you. I am ready to reveal all these secrets to you. To do this, enter your e-mail in the form below and get my personal developments directly to your mailbox!

Some more information on the topic:

How to meet a girl in contact: 2 components and 2 rules And you also don’t know what to write to a girl on the wall in contact?

What are you doing tonight, after our date?
Do you think I like you more than you like me?
Hello, can I talk to you? And then all sorts of girls stick around, trying to get acquainted ...
Hello, can you tell me how to cook dumplings?
You have a very happy nose!
Can you tell me the recipe for birch jam?
Hello! Today is an amazing day, can I cheer you up?
Hello! Are you on VK too? And I. Do you play flute? Me neither. See how similar we are!
Do you meet nice young people? Here I am!
You have beautiful eyes, what color are they?
And I bet you can't guess what your name is?
You probably won't give me a chance to meet you... But send me a smile if I'm wrong!
I'm clearly not the first person to want to meet you. But I'm the best! Do you want me to prove it?
Hello! I sell happiness! Do you want me to give it to you for free?
Can you tell me where is the best place to spend my salary?
I'm tired of waiting for you to make the first move. Hello!
You have amazing eyes, I can't tear myself away from them.
I look at you and understand that we definitely need to get to know each other!
Tell me, how many did you send off today? I'm four. Oh, and cheeky girls!
I looked at your photos and forgot to meet you. Hello!
Do you believe in love at forty-eight glance? And then I look at your pictures for so long that I fall in love!
How did you know I was online?
Let's change? You give me two hundred grams of sadness, and I give you a kilogram of my joy?
Can we talk already or will we just like each other?
Do you remember me? I dreamed about you!
Hello, I was reading an interesting story just now. The guy met the girl, and they lived happily ever after! By the way, do you know how he met her? Said, "Hi, I'm reading an interesting story right now!"
You know, before I met you, I was sure that I was gay!
How about flirting?
Hello! I want to interview you. Tell me what it's like to be the most beautiful girl?
Can you help me learn how to talk to girls?
Hello, I'm doing a census and I want to start with you!
Hello, please change my free time to chat with you?
You are very mistaken if you think that I want to get to know you. I want to invite you on a date!
So two damn attractive people met. Hello!
No, well, if you keep silent all the time, no one will get to know you. I'll help, hello!
You know, I didn't have a very pleasant day. I was upset, but then I saw your avatar.
Can you forgive yourself if you don't answer me?
Have you ever had young people crawling at your feet? And at the hands?
And if I were such a beautiful girl like you, I would get to know myself!
And who are you dating? And come with me!
Hello! I'm writing a book about what girls want. Won't you tell?
A stunning girl like you should have a beautiful font!
Hello! I got lost in life and barely found you, will you lead me out of the dim world of loneliness?
Can I flirt with you?
You know, there are things that are easy to imagine together - black and white, day and night, oil and porridge, you and me ...
Don't want to talk to someone who really likes you?
What questions do you think guys get slapped for?
You have a boyfriend? Maybe you need something better?
Are you in love with your city?
I love dogs very much. Could you tell me what breed is better to have?
Are you a professional stylist?
You are beautiful! Can we switch to "you"?
You spend a lot of time online, can we go to unwind?
You're so beautiful! Or do you know a professional photographer?
Imagine, I wrote you a huge text, and then they turned off the light. So just hello!
Wow, I love this band too! And what is your favorite song?
You have a very cute face!
You have such beautiful eyes! Especially the left one!
Gorgeous legs! And the right one is doubly gorgeous!
I like your mouth ☺
You know, you have such a cute chest! And there are two more of them!
Nice dress! You know, the purse doesn't really fit.
Have you heard the phrase that with whom you will lead, from that you will type? So, I like you, and I decided that I would get enough from you!
It was difficult, but I was able to write to you! Reward with an answer?
Have you ever ridden an escalator? Do you want me to ride?
I think I have amnesia, otherwise I would have written to you!
Do you happen to have a red thread? We would be able to make friends with her.
Your beauty struck me so that I forgot what I wanted to tell you.
Have you ever been offered a hand and a heart? I am a surgeon, I have a lot of them!
Excuse me, can I tweak your plans for tonight?
Didn't you just hit the "I like" button on my photo by accident? No? It's a pity…
I wonder if your inner world matches your photos?
It must be bad to be your girlfriend, because you overshadowed everyone with your beauty!
I miss two things in my life - you and hair.
When I see you, I understand how good it is that I am single!
You know, your hair matches the color of my pillow perfectly.
Must it hurt to fall from heaven?
Girl, does your mother need a son-in-law?
I bet ten thousand that I ask you out on a date and you say no?
Marry me!
Urgent, call an ambulance, I was shot by an arrow of love ...
Give me your sadness I need it for experiments.
Hello! Could you please wake me up tomorrow? I'm afraid to oversleep.
Are you from a fairy tale?
Do you know what love at first sight is? If not, I'll write again!
Are you Alice, my contact?
Girl, are you probably tired of the question about your son-in-law?
I bought borjomi and salami, come eat!
And here I am collecting a harem. Only you are missing.
When are you going to take your first step? I'm tired of waiting and I'm doing it myself! Let's get acquainted!
I've definitely seen you somewhere, can you remind me where?
You are beautiful on the Internet, show yourself in life?
Hello! Amazing places in your photos. Where is it?
You wrote that you love “….” group. Do you have any of their songs on cassettes?
Have you ever seen a really interesting girl?
You have a very familiar face! Were you at the club yesterday?
You know the saying "listen to a woman and do the opposite"? Now, I don't want you to answer me!
I have a great job! Man/Girl to go to the cinema with me. Don't you want to try?
Hello. It's such a good day today. I want to cheer someone up. Maybe you?
Today I saw you in a dream, but you managed to say only your first and last name. And so I found you!
You have such beautiful eyes. I have been looking only at them for a long time, but I do not dare to write.

Many young people often have difficulty communicating with the opposite sex. Thanks to new technologies, it has become possible to communicate with those whom you might never meet in your life. However, the traditional difficulty in dating has not gone away, and often guys do not know what to talk about with a pen pal.

What to talk about with a VKontakte girl?

Every day they become more and more popular. After all, their main function is the ability to communicate with anyone. So, after the girl you like has been chosen, it remains only to get to know her and start a conversation in such a way as to interest her. The first correspondence plays an important role. After all, it is this moment that almost always decides whether communication will develop further or whether everything will end without really starting. Therefore, when meeting, it is necessary to be able to attract attention and make a good impression.

Start a conversation with the banal phrase “Hi! How are you?" not worth it. Firstly, it is stupid to ask this question to a girl about whose life nothing is known. Secondly, she is most likely asked about this very often, because this will not cause her any interest. It is better to start acquaintance with a greeting and recognition that she is very attractive. To understand what to talk about with a girl in a contact by correspondence, you should read her profile, find out where she lives, what she is interested in. If nothing is indicated there, then you should ask about her activities (where she works or who she studies for, what she does in her free time, etc.), hobbies (films, music, books, hobbies) and so on. If you feel that the girl is showing interest and sympathy, it will not be superfluous to flirt with her.

In addition, do not forget that good manners in correspondence have not been canceled. Therefore, there is no need to embellish anything. It is important to follow the rules of good manners, then the chances of continuing the correspondence will certainly increase. You should also take care of literacy. If there are difficulties in the correct spelling of a word, you need to open an online dictionary (www.gramota.ru/slovari).

To attract more attention to yourself, you can like and comment on her photos and other posts. She will also be pleased to receive a gift.

What to talk about with a girl after meeting?

After the acquaintance took place and the first correspondence was successful, you need to continue communication. But often in the future, the guys do not know where to start the conversation again, so as not to seem banal.

You should start the conversation with a greeting, then you can ask how her day went, what she did. It will not be superfluous to show concern, for example, to ask if the girl is tired, maybe something is bothering her and she needs support or help.

It is worth including a little humor in communication, for example, suggesting funny quotes or sending funny pictures to the topic.

An obligatory part of the correspondence is compliments. It is important to mention the qualities of a girl that you attract. But this must be done sincerely and in moderation. Excessively passionate impulses can scare some people away.

In order to better understand the representative of the opposite sex and make it easier to communicate with her, you should learn as much as possible about her. Talk about the past, talk about some funny stories from your life. Learn about her childhood, parents. Ask how she relates to a particular activity, deed, bad habits, etc. Talk about goals in life, plans for the future. In general, it will not be superfluous to continue the laid-back, which over time can develop into something more.

Dating is always difficult. After all, you want to please a person at first sight. But, unfortunately, this is not always possible. Today, young people prefer to make friends and comrades in social networks or using mobile phones. What is the correct correspondence with a girl? How to make an acquaintance? What questions should be asked of the fair sex, so as not to scare her away? These are the topics we will discuss next.

Choice of communication style

At the very beginning, it should be noted that the main thing is to choose the right style of communication with the lady you like. But how to do that? Everything is extremely simple. If you are going to meet on social networks, you just need to carefully study the girl’s page. She has a lot to say. So, you can see the photos, pictures uploaded by her, listen to the playlist. It is easy to draw certain conclusions from this. Consider what styles of communication you can choose:

Sweet, vanilla. Girls who prefer such communication love when they are “lisped” with them, when they are complimented and even flattered.
Literary. This is how you should communicate with girls who love to be addressed with a beautiful literary speech, without the usual expressions, not in surzhik.
Ordinary. Here you can just write to a girl without thinking about who she really wants to present herself to.
Special. In this case, you need to carefully study the terminology of the subculture to which the lady belongs. This is easy to recognize from photos and a playlist on social networks.

First word/phrase

It is very important that the beginning of the correspondence with the girl is the most correct. Why is that? The fact is that ladies, especially beautiful ones, receive a lot of offers to get to know each other a day. And most of them are simply ignored. That is why it is necessary to initially interest the girl, to attract the necessary attention to herself. So, the first word or phrase written in the message is important. The usual "Hello!" few will be surprised. The first proposal must be approached creatively. So, consider successful correspondence with girls. Examples of the first phrases will help you build communication with the representative of the weaker sex you like:

"Hello! Tell me, what will happen to our planet if all butterflies (cats, dogs) disappear? That is, you need to ask about what the lady herself likes.
“I wonder what can make such a beautiful girl happy?”
"Hello! I am addressing a business question: tell me, in which modeling agency do you work? Want to send my little sister (niece) there?” So you can start a conversation with beautiful ladies.

Story about yourself

We understand further how to start a correspondence with a girl. So, if an acquaintance has already begun, you need to know how to keep the conversation going. To do this, you need to tell about yourself and find out all the most interesting and important about the life of the lady you like. In this case, you need to review your completed questionnaire. In some cases, it can be slightly edited by correcting the information in the direction of the interests of the lady you like. What do you need to tell about yourself? Correspondence with a girl will be very successful if there are no boring stories like “born-grew-studied-work”. First of all, you need to talk about those aspects of life where you can find similar interests:

Hobbies, hobbies.
Favorite films, music.
Leisure preferences (club visits, nature trips, gatherings with friends at home or in a quiet place, etc.).

However, it is also important to talk about the place of study or work. After all, there may be certain lines of intersection. At the same time, it is necessary not only to tell. After your speech, you need to ask the appropriate question, for example: “I love cars and everything connected with them. And how do you feel about such a hobby? If something does not interest the lady, you should not stop there, you need to move on to the next object of attention.

Topics that will appeal to many young ladies

In order for the correspondence with the girl to be very successful, you definitely need to interest the lady. In this case, you need to choose an appropriate topic for the conversation. So, let's consider questions to a girl during correspondence, which you should definitely ask:

Questions about her personality. All people like to talk about themselves, their achievements. Therefore, almost after each of your stories, it is good to ask a question, as they say, in the topic. Thus, you can chat for hours, learning more and more information about each other.
Preferences. Be sure to ask the girl about her preferences in various areas of life. You can talk not only about music, movies or books. So, you can find out about your favorite style of clothing, weather, season, food, drinks, etc.
Future plans. This path is very risky (especially if the guy is afraid of commitment), but sometimes you can ask about the girl's plans for the future. If the answers she gave are ambiguous and not to your liking, you need to quickly move the topic in a different direction. However, you should not choose a radically opposite topic, so that the girl does not have the feeling that the guy is deliberately ignoring this or that issue. For example, if a lady wrote: “I dream of getting married and having five children,” you can answer: “That's good. Here I have a sister (brother) - family, there are children, they are so happy. And then move on to the topic of relatives.

If the correspondence "stalled"

What questions can you ask a girl during correspondence if communication does not work out or is it rather difficult to progress?

Tell me about your happiest day.
Ask in which country (city) the girl would like to live and why.
Take an interest in who the young lady dreamed of becoming as a child.
Ask about what made the girl choose this particular profession (direction of study, work).
Ask what the interlocutor dreams about.
Ask a question about what kind of fairy-tale hero the girl would like to become if possible.

There are actually many such questions. You just need to turn on your imagination.

About men

If a correspondence has begun with a girl, it is also necessary to clarify how the lady relates to members of the opposite sex and whether she is thinking of starting close communication with guys in the near future. The answer is important, because the future of the correspondence itself will depend on it. If a girl is hostile to people of the opposite sex, then you should not waste your time on her. Consider what kind of correspondence with girls can be in this case. Examples of possible questions from your side are given below.

What character traits do you want to see in a young man? Which ones, in your opinion, do not paint a man?
Are you ready to visit some interesting place in the near future (hint of a date)?
How ready are you to change your life in the near future (hint of a serious relationship)?
What is the perfect couple?

It is important to remember here that if a lady leaves the topic, she must also retreat from her for a while. Otherwise, it is easy to scare the girl away with her pressure.

Taboos and forbidden topics

So, we figured out how to start a correspondence with a girl. However, it is worth remembering that it is still very important to maintain communication correctly. So, you can not make various mistakes:

You should never criticize a lady's shortcomings. This will offend her.
You can not make fun of her choice (in music, films, books, etc.).
You can't be mean to a lady. The conversation must be equal.
Do not boast or flaunt your advantages. It's not beautiful.
In a conversation with a lady, you can not be rude, swear, call names. Even if the girl behaves inappropriately. It’s better to just “turn on ignore” and stop communicating.
It is impossible at first to ask too frank or even intimate questions.
It is impossible to promise or offer something without the desire to bring it all to life. Men don't do that.

It is worth noting that correspondence with a girl on Vkontakte or another social network is completely different. Sometimes it happens that, even observing all the rules of decency, it is not possible to make an acquaintance with a girl. No problem! No need to get upset. You just need to continue to seek your destiny, not dwelling on failures.

Fewer and fewer people meet in real life. And why? After all, social networks are a convenient and affordable way to get to know each other. Here you can find out everything about your interlocutor and even invite him on a date. If you do not know where to find a girl - look for her on the Internet. But what if you do not have the practice of using social networks for dating? Our tips will help you navigate and find a common language with the interlocutor.

How to start a conversation with a girl on the Internet: phrases

Many guys try to get acquainted through the Internet, so you definitely won’t surprise a modern girl with the phrase “Hi, how are you? You're so beautiful". This is trite and ridiculous, so you are unlikely to get an answer. It is the first message that should be “fatal”, since it depends on it whether she will remember you or not.

Check out our article What to text a girl to make her melt?

Now you do not need to spend weeks or even months looking for a girl. Communication in a virtual network will help you find a soul mate. But for this you will have to make a little effort and start communication. You just have to know where to start.

How to start a chat with a girl? First of all, you need to get her attention and make it clear that you have read her profile. If she realizes that you were not interested in information about her, you will simply be blacklisted.

Phrases to help start a conversation:

"Hi, I'm also into…" (depending on her interests). For example, if this is painting, ask what artists the girl likes the work of. Proceed from the information that is indicated in the profile of the interlocutor. If she kept up the conversation, invite the girl to an exhibition of paintings. Or if she has beautiful photos, ask if she is into photography.
For the very brave - "You are so beautiful in these photos ... It's good that there is Photoshop, isn't it?". If a girl has a sense of humor and she is not touchy, the interlocutor will definitely support the conversation.
If you do not know anything about her life and interests, the following phrase will do: "I am a nice and nice guy, and I would like to meet a nice girl like you."
About travel- This is the theme that most girls like. What countries do you like to visit? Where would you like to go next?"

You should not invite a girl to a personal meeting after one conversation on a social network. She will probably think that you often get to know each other this way. Chat for a few more days, be interested in her life. When she realizes that you are really interested in her, she will definitely reciprocate and agree to have a cup of coffee with you in a cafe.

What points to consider when writing the first message

It’s not so difficult to start a conversation with a girl on the Internet, and even if you don’t succeed the first time, don’t give up and keep getting to know each other. Also, do not forget to fill out your profile and upload high-quality photos to it. In most cases, success depends not only on the first phrase, but also on your profile.