How to meet a girl in VK? How to start a chat with a girl? Basic rules for online communication and examples of original phrases for dating

Fewer and fewer people meet in real life. And why? After all, social networks are a convenient and affordable way to get to know each other. Here you can find out everything about your interlocutor and even invite him on a date. If you do not know where to find a girl - look for her on the Internet. But what if you do not have the practice of using social networks for dating? Our tips will help you navigate and find a common language with the interlocutor.

How to start a conversation with a girl on the Internet: phrases

Many guys try to get acquainted through the Internet, so you definitely won’t surprise a modern girl with the phrase “Hi, how are you? You're so beautiful". This is trite and ridiculous, so you are unlikely to get an answer. It is the first message that should be “fatal”, since it depends on it whether she will remember you or not.

Check out our article What to text a girl to make her melt?

Now you do not need to spend weeks or even months looking for a girl. Communication in a virtual network will help you find a soul mate. But for this you will have to make a little effort and start communication. You just have to know where to start.

How to start a chat with a girl? First of all, you need to get her attention and make it clear that you have read her profile. If she realizes that you were not interested in information about her, you will simply be blacklisted.

Phrases to help start a conversation:

• "Hi, I'm also into…" (depending on her interests). For example, if this is painting, ask what artists the girl likes the work of. Proceed from the information that is indicated in the profile of the interlocutor. If she kept up the conversation, invite the girl to an exhibition of paintings. Or if she has beautiful photos, ask if she is into photography.
• For the very brave - "You are so beautiful in these photos ... It's good that there is Photoshop, isn't it?". If a girl has a sense of humor and she is not touchy, the interlocutor will definitely support the conversation.
• If you do not know anything about her life and interests, the following phrase will do: "I am a nice and nice guy, and I would like to meet a nice girl like you."
• About travel- This is the theme that most girls like. What countries do you like to visit? Where would you like to go next?"

You should not invite a girl to a personal meeting after one conversation on a social network. She will probably think that you often get to know each other this way. Chat for a few more days, be interested in her life. When she realizes that you are really interested in her, she will definitely reciprocate and agree to have a cup of coffee with you in a cafe.

What points to consider when writing the first message

It’s not so difficult to start a conversation with a girl on the Internet, and even if you don’t succeed the first time, don’t give up and keep getting to know each other. Also, do not forget to fill out your profile and upload high-quality photos to it. In most cases, success depends not only on the first phrase, but also on your profile.

At the very beginning of communication, when you still do not know your interlocutor well, the best way to get close and find common interests is to start a conversation through messages. If you want to chat with a girl via SMS, but have no idea where to start, read this article.

Steps

Part 1

First, find out her phone number. Try to find out from her personally, because it is not very pleasant to correspond with someone unknown.

• The easiest way to get her number is to promise to send her a link to a website or a funny video. Say: “Listen, I would send you a link to this video, but I don’t know your phone number!” Try to behave as usual, do not make a big fuss about it, then the girl will feel more comfortable with you.
• If this method doesn't work for you, read on.
• If a girl does not want to give you her phone number, do not try to find out from someone. Either way, she won't be happy about it. So wait a while and then try again.

1. Tell:"Hello". But do not stop there, ask how she is doing, what she does.

   • It's a great idea to ask questions because they will help keep the conversation going. If you ask her what the English assignment was, she may give you something to start a conversation with. But if you just say "hello", she won't know how to respond.
   • Ask questions that cannot be answered with yes or no. For example, instead of asking if she likes comedies, ask what movies she likes. Chances are, she'll start telling you about her favorite movies, which is a chance to start a conversation.

2. Start a conversation and try to keep it going. If you are chatting for the first time, it is important that your messages look casual and ordinary, then the girl will not feel embarrassed. Talk about something that concerns both of you.

   • For example, if there's a party coming up at school, ask, "Are you going to the school party?" If the communication is going well enough, you can even take a chance and invite her to go to a party with you. If you are shy, you can invite her to come with you and a few of your friends.
   • You can discuss common interests or say something as small as “Oh, I saw you at Starbucks today!” or “Did you hear the English teacher yell at that student?”

3. Talk about what she's interested in. If you know what she likes (like TV shows, movies), talk about it! Ask if she liked the last episode, if she liked the music from the show, and so on. This will demonstrate your interest in her hobbies.

   • This method works great when a girl is really interested in something. People love to talk about their interests. In addition, perhaps your interests converge.
   • If you disagree with something a girl says, don't immediately express your dissatisfaction. A small friendly argument on the topic “which Beatles song is better” is just fun that should not flow into a quarrel.

4. Send her emoji. Emoticons can be fun or flirtatious, and they can help create a friendly atmosphere. Feel free to send emoticons ;)

   • If you don't know when to put emoticons in your text, put them at the end of a sentence. For example, ask “Have you watched the last episode yet? She is cool! :)"
   • Most often in correspondence they use winking or smiling emoticons. Some other emojis may be ambiguous or just off topic.
   • Do not overdo it with emotions and emoticons, otherwise you will look stupid.

5. Keep talking! As soon as you manage to strike up a conversation and find something in common, try to talk the girl.

   • If you run out of ideas on how to continue the conversation, read this article: How to send a text message to the person you like.
   • Soon you can take communication to a new level and make an appointment or even a date. Offer to meet and spend time together. Texting via SMS is a good thing, but real communication is already a completely different level.

   In other languages.

   How good do you think you are as a conversationalist? Have you ever had awkward pauses in a conversation? A few tips described in this article will help you become a better conversationalist, and awkward pauses will be a thing of the past. Being a good conversationalist is just a combination of different methods of communication. Body language, a few tricks and you will be able to easily carry on a conversation with any people.
   

   Start with a question

   Do you want people to remember you? Ask him an interesting question and listen carefully. This will give you the opportunity to make friends.

   Get someone else's opinion

   Eg:

   • Could you recommend me a good cocktail?
   • Do you know the city well? Can you recommend me a good restaurant?
   • Where did you buy this phone/accessory/clothes?
   • What do you think about this party?

   Applying Economic Concept to Conversation

   Imagine that your conversation is a bank. If you have a lot of investments, then things are going well. If loans are more than investments, then something should be changed. Transferring this metaphor to communication, we get this.

   Emotional investment

   1. agree with the interlocutor
   2. Proper body language
   3. Use the name of the interlocutor
   4. Tell jokes
   5. Encourage the ideas of the interlocutor
   6. Listen attentively
   7. Ask for an opinion

   Emotional loans

   1. Disagree with the interlocutor
   2. Wrong body language
   3. talk a lot about yourself
   4. Flattery
   5. Vulgar and personal matters

   Imagine that your conversation starts with a zero balance and do everything to increase it!

   Copying body language

   The practice of copying body language can help a lot. Is your interlocutor cross-legged? Cross yours. Put your hands on the table? Do the same. Everything is very simple. Time is also very important. Wait for the moment:

   • When the interlocutor says something interesting
   • When you wonder
   • When the interlocutor is proud of something

   And then copy it. The person will assume that you empathize with him and it will be great if this is true.

   How to talk about yourself and not be terribly boring

   You can be an incredibly charismatic and interesting person. But, people are just not interested in hearing about others, no matter how wonderful you are. If you continue to follow our economic concept, then you must make an emotional investment. Make the interlocutor experience emotions and he will be very interested in talking with you.

   Change the depth of the conversation

   You know the proverb: small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas? Use it. Start small and play a prank on someone, then get the other person's opinion on an event, and then move on to ideas related to that event. Eg:

   Introduction: Hello, how was your day?

   Event: Are you planning something with Katya for Valentine's Day?

   Idea: I saw an article on the internet about how we have perverted Valentine's Day from its traditional meaning.

   Ask the other person to be interesting

   Each person is interesting in their own way, but few really reveal themselves. So give them a chance to open up and they will only think of you. Here is a simple example:

   Tell me something interesting about yourself.

   This is a great conversation starter that will make you seem more attentive and at the same time give you the opportunity to learn something really interesting about the person.

   How to ask people what they are doing

   How do you spend your time when not...?

   Instead of a blank, there should be something at the end that you know about the person. Here are some examples:

   How do you spend your time when you're not writing your exciting blog?

   How do you spend your time when you're not on Facebook?

   How do you spend your time when you don't go to the gym?

   Be a Good Listener

   If you were to ask me for one piece of advice on how to be a good conversationalist, I would stop there. This is the most important part. Listen to the person. Be genuinely interested in what he is talking about. Lead the interviewer's story with your questions. Be interested in him and he will be interested in you in return.

   Conversation pace

   Basically, a fast paced conversation is a sign of nervousness and excitement, while a moderate pace is a sign of confidence. Therefore, try to speak at a moderate pace, but if your interlocutor speaks at a fast pace, copy it and speak the same way.

   Change the subject correctly

   This has happened to everyone: you are discussing something with your acquaintance, but then a third person bursts into your conversation and turns the whole conversation in his direction. It's terribly annoying. But, only if you're doing it wrong. You must make an emotional investment at the end of your monologue. This will divert attention and you won't look like an idiot by changing the subject. Example:

   Chris: My son is a very good footballer.

   Me: Cool! You once talked about where he trained. My son recently earned a black belt in Karate and is leaving for Korea on a student exchange program. After all, your son trained in Korea? Can you give me some tips?

   In this dialogue, the emotional investment was a compliment to Chris and his son. I changed the topic of conversation to the one I needed, doing it right.

   Give the right compliments

   Compliments are a very powerful tool if used correctly. The correct way to use compliments is to make them about what the person is proud of. Eg:

   • If the person is in good shape and it is obvious that he spends a lot of time in the gym, compliment his figure.
   • If a person is successful in their career, compliment their creativity, business acumen, or intelligence.

   Do not compliment the qualities of people if they have not achieved this on their own. Don't tell a beautiful girl that she is beautiful. She already knows it.

   Unite your friends

   If you are at a party or social event, you are unlikely to stand in one place. Most likely, you will go from one group of acquaintances to another. If you see people you know in different groups, don't be afraid to invite them to talk together. Do it with a joke and without tension. And then your friends will remember you as a very friendly person.

   Horror! Guys do not know how to communicate with a girl in contact! I wasn't surprised to find out that the girls were ignoring them. They build a conversation in the same way as on a date or on the phone. The question sits on the question and drives the question.

   Perhaps you yourself have communicated the same way up until now. Of course, for us men, there is nothing wrong with the fact that we communicate briefly and almost without emotion. On the contrary, we appreciate when communication is clear and to the point. Especially when it comes to important issues. But for the opposite sex, such communication resembles a conversation with an old man tired of life or an interrogation by a prosecutor.

   I thought, thought, analyzed my most successful acquaintances in contact, and decided to write a post on this topic.

   

   How to communicate with a girl in contact

   When the social network Vkontakte just appeared and began to develop, attempts to meet beauties were perceived somehow better than now. You could write just "hello", and it was already perceived as something special and outlandish.

   “Oh, they wrote to me on VKontakte, cool!” - an approximate train of thought of a beauty who has just registered in this social network. Moreover, those girls who were rarely approached on the street found an outlet there. They had a great opportunity to feel better.

   But soon, when VKontakte acquaintances became commonplace, and they began to receive dozens of messages from different guys a day, it became much more difficult to get to know each other.

   What can we say about those beauties who posted a lot of beautiful photos on their profile.

   How to communicate with a girl in contact, if everything has become so difficult?

   Well, it's actually not that scary.

   Since then, the situation has changed and an effective correspondence strategy has come to the rescue, which is based on the same laws of attracting women as in real life.

   Do you want to know about all the secrets of dating in contact? Then subscribe to my newsletter on this topic. In it, I reveal every moment in detail: from the first phrase, to competent commenting on a photo and taking a phone number.

   Did you think that the rules of online correspondence are somehow different from the rules of real communication?

   How to please a girl by correspondence in contact

   Firstly, take an interest what is written on her wall, in the questionnaire or what is shown in the photographs. If you see that she is interested in some interesting activity, then be sure to discuss it with her.

   It's no wonder she mentioned it, right!? Most likely, she wants to be asked exactly about this!

   Ask her interesting questions about this topic. Just first think about what kind of questions they ask her about her occupation most often. This is necessary so that you come up with other, more interesting questions.

   Secondly, tease her. When you joke about her, it says that:

   • You have a lot of girls and you can afford to take risks in this way.
   • You are not amazed by her beauty in the same way as other guys, and appreciate her inner world.

   Remember: you appreciate how she knows how to laugh at herself, and how developed her sense of humor is. You judge, not her! See if she can laugh at herself. And with the help of such jokes you determine how developed her sense of humor is.

   Read the previous paragraph again and try to absorb these things. This attitude is very important!

   Third, do not get hung up on one thing, but rather let her volume of emotions.

   This means that you cannot stick to only the first point or only the second. If you are only interested in her inner world and discuss her interests, you will not be able to arouse her sexual mood. And vice versa, if you tease all the time, then she may think that you want her to like you too much. In addition, she will perceive a large number of jokes, as clown performance.

   And when you demonstrate the behavior of both, then it is attracting her to you. Checked!

   

   Fourth, do not ask multiple questions in a row.

   "Dilute" your communication with interesting stories, expressing your opinion and discussing her view of something. Sometimes it is useful to argue with her to warm up her emotions (but gently and not often).

   Fifth, don't always be online. Show that you are a busy person.

   If you are always online, then she will conclude that:

   • You have nothing to do.
   • You really want to get an answer from her (a sign of need).
   • Or get acquainted not only with her.

   Sometimes it’s even useful to leave without warning, breaking off the conversation “mid-sentence”. It will be even more effective if you ask her a question and, without waiting for her answer, leave the contact.

   What will it show?

   That's right, it will show that you don't care what exactly she answers. Such things are very catchy for almost all girls, no matter how beautiful they may be.

   Now you have an idea of ​​how to properly communicate with a girl in contact. However, that's not all! Now I would like to tell you about this.

   Is it worth the rush

   Perhaps at first it will seem to you that you are already interested in your new acquaintance.

   But, most likely, this feeling is deceptive.

   Even if she shows that she is interested in communicating with you, this does not mean that she is ready to meet with you.

   How to determine that she has this desire?

   Signs of interest:

   • She initiates the conversation herself.
   • She easily picks up your words and actively develops a dialogue.
   • She asks you questions.
   • Set emoticons.

   Until you see these signs of interest, don't even try to make an appointment. It is better to spend these efforts on creating this interest.

   If you want to learn more detailed communication strategies, then I advise you to read my article “How to communicate with a girl, or balabols are not in fashion now”.

   In it, I described the methods of conducting a dialogue, as well as getting rid of all possible problems in communication, which are quite difficult to overcome.

   Here's the video I was talking about at the beginning.

   For a moment, it seemed these girls don't exist anymore.. But it was not there. At least, it seemed to me that she said it sincerely enough. And what do you think?

   I wrote about how to communicate with a girl in contact, and like her by correspondence. Now it's time to cover the issue of the first phrases, compiling catchy comments on the photo and the ability to pull her out on a date.

   I know that you came to this blog for knowledge and experience. The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, right?

   Need to know about 3 degrees of a girl's interest in Internet correspondence, and about how to jump into the "big leagues" of those with whom she wants to meet. And to know how to make her come to a date already "ready", i.e. in a state of interest in you. I am ready to reveal all these secrets to you. To do this, enter your e-mail in the form below and get my personal developments directly to your mailbox!

   

   

   Some more information on the topic:

   How to meet a girl in contact: 2 components and 2 rules And you also don’t know what to write to a girl on the wall in contact?

   Today, when virtual communication is available and relevant, getting to know the girl you like has become much easier. Of course, what we cannot say, we can write.

   However, there are more and more self-confident womanizers every day, and the demands of beauties are higher and higher. That is why you need to know a few rules that will set you apart from the crowd and make it HER to wait for the moment when you finally appear “on the network”.

   Is it possible to be interested by correspondence

   Remember the most important rule: you must arouse the interest of the girl, and not just “dissolve” her into a conversation, and this must be done from the very first words.
   

   BUT! Even if you failed to interest a girl by correspondence (whether at the very beginning or in the process of communication), you should not get angry, blame yourself, lose faith in your own strength. Maybe you're just not her type or she already has a loved one.

   And even more so, you don’t need to be rude to her or assume that she “put you out as a clown”.

   It is possible that she treats you quite well, and your communication will continue later, it’s just that now was not the best time to get to know each other (family problems, depression, and maybe even everything is much simpler: preparing for exams, interruptions in the Internet, etc.). ).

   What to write to intrigue a girl

   Avoid Templates

   A guy will have little chance of communicating with a girl if he uses formulaic phrases like: “How are you? What are you doing?”, “You are beautiful”, “You are sexy”, etc.
   

   It's beat up and unoriginal. That's what everyone does. So now is the time to stand out from the crowd!

   Don't be afraid that she will laugh at you. No wonder they say that any nonsense said confidently can be called a point of view.

   Be positive

   Few people can resist an interesting merry fellow, so your communication should be full of optimism and humor.

   One of the easiest ways to show your positive attitude in correspondence is to use emoticons (from graphic to the most simplified ones, like “)))))”).

   It will help you to diversify and at the same time simplify communication, but you don’t need to “spam” them.
   

   Don't self-promotion

   Nobody likes boasters. Stories about how wonderful and original you are are unlikely to interest her. Let her draw her own conclusions about you. It’s better to ask more, because girls love to talk about themselves so much.

   Demonstrate the versatility of knowledge

   She needs to know that you are versatile. But the demonstration should take place in an unobtrusive form, it should not be allowed to look like boasting (“Ay, yes I am! Ay, yes, well done!” - it’s not necessary).

   The element of surprise can play a big role. For example, a girl meets a guy whom everyone considers the "soul" of the company, they are happy to see at any party, and not a single holiday is complete without his vulgar jokes. Accordingly, his new acquaintance develops a general opinion about him only on the basis of these observations.
   

   But later, when she gets to know him better, he shows her touching poems of his own composition. Inevitably, the opinion about a person immediately changes, he becomes more interesting for her: there are new topics for conversation, there is a possibility that a little later there will be new similar unexpected “discoveries”.

   Diversify communication with media files

   Such communication is suitable for social networks. For example, on the popular Vkontakte website, there are many options for sending pictures, music, videos, gifs, text documents, gifts, etc. All this will make it possible to diversify your communication, help you learn about her interests and demonstrate yours.

   Also, sending media files will be an original way to hint at something to a girl, express your emotions, invite her on a date, etc.

   Ease and pleasure

   Your communication should not be tense, and then she will forget about all the problems with you.

   Find topics that you both enjoy talking about (vacation, life goals, etc.), briefly describe some unusual or funny incident in your life, ask her about something neutral that will not cause her negative emotions.
   

   Intrigue and intrigue

   When communicating with her, use the pick-up scheme: stay closer, then further away. For example, while texting with her for two days, suddenly disappear for a day, but later find a reasonable explanation for this that will not offend her (they turned off the Internet, went to the dacha to help her grandmother, sat with her nephew).

   Another way to create intrigue is to say that you have a surprise for her, but you will reveal the veil of secrecy a little later.

   All this will not let you be predictable, it will make her think more about you.

   Tell me about your active life

   Make her want to spend every minute with you! Winter fishing, hiking, barbecue in the country with friends, ice skating, skateboarding, skiing, cinema, theaters, traveling by car…
   

   Show her that you are not sitting still, that she will definitely not get bored with you! Of course, all your stories must be true, otherwise it will be considered a hoax.

   Communication rules

   In correspondence with a girl, however, as well as during real communication, do not forget about the rules of communication:

   • The interlocutor must be literate. Firstly, there is a high probability that banal mistakes will annoy a girlfriend, and secondly, some phrases can mislead her (remember “You cannot be pardoned to execute”).
   • Do not allow the use of obscene language. It is always more pleasant for a girl to communicate with someone who knows how to control his speech (and it doesn’t matter how he talks with friends, acquaintances). It is known that such words in written speech are more repulsive than in oral speech.
   • Can't be obsessive. The surest way is to find out if she is busy now and if she can give you some time to communicate (by the way, showing attention and some care for the opposite sex is a fairly strong psychological technique that immediately predisposes to the interlocutor). Otherwise, there is a chance that you will begin to annoy her, because at this time she may be busy with other things (work, meeting guests, or another inappropriate situation).

   Also, in this case, obsession should be understood as the frequent sending of similar messages (for example, every hour “Hello! How are you?”), Long persuasions to continue communication (such as: “Well, don’t leave”, “Write / Tell me something” etc.).

   Video: What to write to a girl Vkontakte

   Sample phrases

   Naturally, it all depends on your goals, character (both yours and hers). Here are a few win-win (in most cases) phrases as an example:
   

   • “I would like to meet you. You do not mind?"- here the young man immediately declares his desires, but at the same time shows that her opinion is not indifferent to him;
   • “I saw you today. You look great!”- here the guy is trying to attract attention in two ways at once: he is interested and makes a compliment;
   • "Beautiful pictures. Where were they made?– positive assessment and open expression of interest.

   Giving a lot of templates for communication is useless, because the guy himself must take the initiative. In fact, you can come up with a lot of examples, the main thing is that phrases should not contain vulgarity, open flattery, ambiguity.

   Important: your chances of drawing her attention to your person will help one very effective, but at the same time obvious trick - calling her by name.

   This will show that you are truly interested in the person. Compare: “Hi, Katyusha. How did you spend your day today? and hi. How did you spend your day today? If someone did not notice a big difference, we recommend that you just take our word for it!

   SMS correspondence

   This way of getting acquainted is more difficult than in contact, in classmates and other social networks, where, by going to the user's page, it is possible to find out a lot of information about him.
   

   However, if you are already familiar with the girl you are interested in, using SMS you can maintain communication (between correspondence in social networks, calls, meetings, etc.), because each message is not only a piece of attention, but also a process that has some kind of magical mystery.

   Here there are confessions of feelings, proposals to go somewhere, romantic or funny poems, various wishes (have a good day, good morning, good night, etc.).

   Video: Behavior on the Internet