When matchmakers come to the bride. Matchmaking by the bride: what to say. Cool humorous text of the matchmaking script from the side of the groom: the words of the groom, parents, matchmakers

Matchmaking is a special ceremony, the purpose of which is to propose marriage to the intended bride in the presence of her close relatives, usually parents. The groom, his godparents, his relatives, sometimes close friends can take part in the matchmaking. Special people at the event are the matchmaker, matchmaker or matchmakers. They can be invited people, relatives or godparents of the groom. Matchmaking was preceded by a family council in the groom's house, after which matchmakers were sent to the girl's relatives. The rite was held in the form of a comic performance. If consent was obtained, then a few days later a ritual evening was made for all relatives and friends, at which they announced the engagement and set the date for the wedding.

Marriage by the groom

Matchmaking can be combined with any family celebration or a common holiday, but it is best to set aside a separate day for this. During the wedding, the groom must:

dress smartly - a formal suit will make a good impression on the parents of his future wife and convince of the seriousness of intentions;

have 2 bouquets of flowers - for the mother of the bride and herself, and he is obliged to give the bouquet to his future mother-in-law first;

ask permission for marriage from the parents of the chosen one;

Previously, gifts were not given during matchmaking, but today this tradition has changed and, if the groom does not plan to strictly adhere to the matchmaking ceremony, he can give a small present to the relatives of the future wife. Usually, the father of the bride is given good alcohol, books, an expensive pen, depending on his type of activity. Mothers present sweets, jewelry, household items, also based on her preferences.

The main task of the groom at the matchmaking is to be able to please the relatives of his chosen one.

This is not always easy, and therefore a huge responsibility is imposed on the groom during this procedure. Especially if he asks for a hand in solitude. Matchmakers are indeed an invaluable help to the groom, they can defuse the situation and in many cases save the day. Relatives of the groom or people hired from outside, specially trained in all the intricacies of the rite, are chosen as matchmakers. Whatever choice you make the main thing is that the matchmakers are open and cheerful people, then the ceremony will go well. Usually they are limited to one matchmaker, who, if necessary, can be helped by the rest of those present. Matchmaking should be allegorical - you can’t directly name the purpose of your visit. Matchmakers represent everything in the form of fun, fun, a comic skirmish between relatives of future spouses. Particular attention should be paid to the feast. When matchmaking, it is not mandatory, but hospitable hosts usually consider it their duty to welcome any guests, so it would be somewhat indecent to do without treats at all. The presence of alcohol on the table is also not traditional, and if the groom does not want to have a drink with the future father-in-law, there will be nothing shameful in this, the main thing is that it is adequately perceived by the father of the bride. If the parents remain dissatisfied with the groom, the matchmaking can be repeated another time.

Traditions and signs in matchmaking

During matchmaking, special attention has always been paid to traditions and signs, and few people have dared to violate the laws established by their ancestors before. And today, many pay tribute to the superstitions and customs of their ancestors:

The best day for matchmaking was considered October 14 (the feast of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos), also the most favorable dates were 3, 5, 7 and 9, days of the week - Tuesday, Thursday or days off.

They never got married on the 13th, it is unsuccessful for carrying out any business.

On the way to the girl's house, the people participating in the ceremony kept silence, and left the house only after sunset in order to avoid the evil eye.

All information relating to the ceremony was hidden from strangers, fearing their unclean thoughts.

When the matchmaker was going to go to the girl's parents, they threw a bast shoe in his back.

Having reached the house of a marriageable girl, the matchmaker tried to get into the hut as soon as possible, so that the matter would be resolved just as quickly.

Negotiations about matchmaking were conducted standing up, as if on the move, so that marriage would be quick.

The groom handed over the narrowed loaf.

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If consent to marriage has been obtained, then:

the father had to put his daughter's hand into the hand of her betrothed;

the girl took the loaf from the guy, cut it into pieces together with the groom and treated those present;

any joint feast meant an early engagement.

If the matchmaking failed, then this could be marked by the following actions:

the bride hid and took off her dress;

the girl expressed her refusal by giving the groom a pumpkin;

if the groom did not like the bride, he brought it to his mouth, but did not drink from the cup presented to him;

in case of refusal, the loaf was returned to the groom whole;

in case of refusal, matchmakers could harm the bride - they closed the door to her house with their backs, which doomed the girl to an unmarried life.

Matchmaking in the old days

In the old days, having made the choice of a suitable candidate for the role of the bride, they necessarily received the approval of the relatives of the groom's family. Then they chose a person who performed the duties of a matchmaker.

The role of matchmakers was dominant in this ceremony. They collected all the information about the girl, including appearance, character, amount of dowry.

Often they were engaged in the actual search for a suitable bride. The matchmaker also controlled the observance of customs and the correct conduct of the rite itself. Initially, a matchmaker always went to the house of a marriageable girl. In the presence of the groom, there was no need, but it was not strictly forbidden either. If he was given freedom of choice, if desired, he could go to the parents of the chosen one and ask for her hand in marriage. Arriving at the house where the chosen girl lived, the matchmaker began a conversation from afar, without touching on the main topic. We talked about the weather, harvest, mowing. The main negotiations also proceeded in allegorical form. For example: “You have a marvelous garden, and we have a good gardener, maybe he will look after your garden?”. The parents of a marriageable girl expressed their gratitude to the matchmaker for the honor rendered to them and gave them kvass or honey, which the girl herself poured and brought to the guest. At the same time, the matchmaker should have considered her well. After that, he began to praise the groom and ask about the bride. If the groom did not suit, then the refusal also sounded allegorically: “Our garden has not yet ripened”, “Our unsaleable goods”, or they were stipulated by an insufficient dowry, general employment. If there were doubts, then the matchmaker was invited a second time in order to obtain additional information about the groom in the given period of time. The next time the groom's parents went to woo, often with him, as well as other matchmakers. This matchmaking was considered official. A feast was organized and, with the consent of all parties to the marriage, they made up an analogy of a modern marriage contract - a “row entry”, which covered the main organizational and financial issues of the upcoming wedding, including the dowry of the bride. After settling all issues, the bride gave the chosen one a pledge, which was a simple scarf. They wrapped the loaf loaf in it and gave it to the matchmaker. He carried her in a highly raised hand through the whole village, which spoke of the successful outcome of the matchmaking.

Scenario of modern matchmaking by the groom

Today, matchmaking is a common ritual of acquaintance of the families of the future husband and wife.. However, the introduction of some ancient rites into action will add a kind of "zest" to the standard procedure.

The groom can come to the bride's house either alone or with his parents. You can choose a matchmaker and present everything in the form of a script.

Easy option

The arrival of the groom with the matchmakers to the bride's house can be diversified with Russian folk songs, cheerful ditties, which are performed by the guests, as well as greeting cries "Matchmakers are coming!" At home, the groom presents the mother of the chosen one and herself with flowers and provides a loaf. They call the bride and go to the laid table. At a feast, the girl's parents should praise their daughter, paying special attention to her main virtues. At a special hour, the groom asks for her hand from his future father-in-law and mother-in-law. With the consent of the bride's father, joins the hands of the young and blesses them for marriage.

Difficult option

When the celebration is planned to be held on a special scale, a longer option is used. At the appointed hour, the groom, his parents, friends, and matchmakers drive up to the bride's house and knock on it. The doors are opened, and the bride's relatives are interested: "Who is this knocking on our door, what do you need?" Matchmaker:

- Good under your roof, masters! You have come from afar. And our business is not easy: A fine prince lives with us, In all matters a brave daring fellow. Once I saw a beautiful firebird, In all respects - his queen. And since then, the well done yearns. They came to your house to look for this girl.

Bride's Family:

We have different girls, And everything is like a selection. If he finds his beautiful, Then we'll set the table.

Several different girls are taken out and presented to the groom, often for this they dress the guys in women's clothes.

It happens that ribbons are pulled into different rooms behind closed doors, with different people holding on to the other end, and they offer to pull out any groom. If he did not guess his beloved, then he had to pay the ransom.

The groom must answer:

- I don't like her, I need another one!

When the bridegroom's beloved is brought out, he says that it is she. After that, the bride is tested to see if she is suitable for the groom. This is usually done by the matchmaker. Matchmaker:

— Yes, this is exactly the firebird, Our dear girl. But is her soul so good and pure?

- Tell me, dear, they will ask you to drink some water from you: an old man, a child and a handsome guy, first who will you pour? The girl answers: To kid. - Right. And tell me then, to whom you pour wine first: to your beloved or to an old man? The girl answers: old man. - Right. But tell me, when you wash the floor, where do you wash it cleaner - in the corners or in the middle? The girl answers: Everywhere. - Right. And tell me, when you cook soup, you are noble, you pour a pinch of cereal into it or a handful? The girl answers: I don’t put cereal in soup, but meat. - You speak well! And now we'll see how well you see and if you're not too lazy to bend your back for a penny of labor! The matchmaker throws coins on the floor. The girl collects them and squeezes them in her hand, at the request of the matchmaker to give them back - she does not agree. Matchmaker: You passed my test. Good hostess, economical. I dropped copper coins so that you would not be poor, but here is silver for you, so that your wife is faithful, and here is paper money, so that you are not too important. I see you are all good. Answer now, do you consent to our young prince becoming your husband? The girl answers: Yes. Matchmaker: - If you agree, cut the loaf that he presented to you as a gift. The girl cuts it into 4 shares crosswise. Matchmaker: - Who will be the first to offer bread and bow at the feet? The girl gives 2 parts of the loaf to the betrothed's parents and bows to them. Matchmaker: - Now I will ask the father and mother of the bride: do they bless their daughter? Parents say yes. Matchmaker: - If everyone agrees, then we need to outline our girl. Before the wedding, let her go with the mark of her betrothed, so that the eyes of other fellows do not look at the beauty of a girl and do not seduce an innocent soul. And we mark our bride of silver with a ring with an amethyst stone. Wear it to your health. The groom puts on the ring to the chosen one. Matchmaker: - Dear matchmakers, they say that grooms are such that often they are not able to hammer a nail themselves. So that you are sure that our fiance can do everything himself, let's ask him to hammer your nail into the threshold, so that from now on he will be your welcome guest. The groom hammers a nail into the threshold. Matchmaker: - And now, our fellow, give your father-in-law a hammer so that you are of good use, and your mother-in-law - a chocolate bar so that everything goes smoothly in life. The groom makes appropriate gifts.

Matchmaker: - From me, young people, you will receive the first gift - a fruit tree. To walk together on the same road - plant him. And it will give wonderful fruits if you take care of it, protect it and water it. Like your family, you must protect from all adversity. And from your love, let children be born and they will be like fruits on this tree - healthy and strong. The matchmaker presents the bride and groom with a seedling of a fruit tree. Matchmaker: - Take overseas wines and wonderful honey to your table. We will smear the owner's ears with this honey so that he does not hear bad things about his son-in-law. And we will smear the eyes of the hostess with this honey so that she does not see anything bad in her son-in-law. And the rest - I’ll smear it on my tongue, so that at the table you can speak sweet as honey! After that, the hosts invite guests to the table. Perhaps, in such a representation, all the ancient traditions of matchmaking are not observed, but it looks impressive and beautiful. Yes, matchmaking today is just a formal tribute to traditions. And for this reason, the entire scenario of actions on the part of the matchmakers and the groom can fit in 2-3 minutes. And that's what the next video is about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOsAcVI5O5o

Instruction

Prepare a generous meal. This must be done whether you agree to the wedding or not. A richly laid table is an ancient Russian custom that has not lost its relevance to this day. The language even has a proverb about this: “A thin groom will show the way to a good one.”

Prepare fake brides for the meeting of matchmakers. Change into a girl's outfit or a man's. Have fun beating the ceremony, but do not delay the fun.

give thanks parents groom for the attention and respect shown. Then invite the matchmakers to the laid table.

Your daughter should not be present during the matchmaking, as material matters are discussed. This is also an old Russian custom.

If you are not satisfied with the proposal in some way, ask the matchmakers for time to think. Explain this by saying that you need time to get to know your fiancé better. Try not to offend groom and his parents. Refuse gracefully and politely.

Even if you are completely satisfied with the future groom, stick to the rules of wedding etiquette and do not agree immediately. Take at least a symbolic time to think. Before the announcement of the decision, the head of the family is interested in the opinion of all family members, and only then the bride herself is invited into the room, who is asked for consent to the marriage. Before that, she should give her future a bouquet of flowers.

Invite the matchmakers for a return visit to you. This must be done if you still decide to give your daughter to this groom.

Talk to parents groom date . At this event, the details of the upcoming wedding are discussed and negotiations are underway on expenses, dowry and the number of guests from both sides.

The groom's father ties his hands with a young prepared towel and brings him to the witnesses. So they must go hand in hand throughout their life together. Witnesses spread a towel in front of the bride and groom, the young stand on it, parents shower the young with millet for posterity, coins for prosperity in the house, sweets for a sweet life. Then the mothers untie their hands, subsequently the towel is kept as a family heirloom, passing it on by inheritance.

Tip 9: Wedding traditions: what mother-in-law should do at the wedding

A wedding is an important day not only in the life of young people, but also of their parents. The mother of the bride becomes the mother-in-law and plays an important role in the festive celebration. This applies not only to the organizational moments of the holiday, but also to wedding traditions.

holiday chores

One of the main tasks of the mother-in-law (and father-in-law) is the organization of the celebration, especially if the bride and groom are still very young guys. Choosing a venue for the celebration, coordinating the menu and guest list, buying a wedding dress for the bride - these and many other chores await the future mother-in-law. Fortunately, most of them will be shared with her by the groom's parents and the newlyweds themselves.

Blessing

According to a long tradition, the mother of the bride blesses her daughter for a happy family life. Usually, in this ceremony, the icon of the Kazan Mother of God is used. After the “ransom”, the newlyweds are going to go to the registry office. The future mother-in-law showers the bride and groom, as well as the wedding procession, with a mixture of rye, sweets and coins so that family life is sweet and rich.

Parental congratulations

After the official part of the holiday, guests are usually invited to a banquet. The mother-in-law meets the newlyweds and guests at the threshold of the restaurant with bread and salt and invites everyone to the tables.

Among the many congratulations, the most important role is given to the speech of the parents. The mother-in-law with the father-in-law are invited first to pronounce parting words and congratulations. Most often, such a speech is prepared in advance. This is a very touching and exciting moment, so in order not to get lost and confused, it is better to make a cheat sheet on a beautiful postcard.

Ignition of the family hearth

An important wedding tradition is the ignition of the family hearth. This is a rather old rite, symbolizing the transmission of the wisdom of family life from the older generation to the younger.

The symbol of the family is the fire, which the mother of the bride passes on to her daughter, as the guardian of the new family hearth. To conduct the ceremony, you will need a simple candle for the mother-in-law and a large beautiful candle, symbolizing a new family hearth, for the bride. To the quiet lyrical music, the mother of the bride says kind parting words and lights the candle of the newlyweds with her candle (it is held by the bride), thereby symbolizing the transfer of warmth, love and experience to the new family. Usually, the hearth is placed on the table of the newlyweds and taken home as a souvenir at the end of the celebration.

Removing the veil

Removing the veil is another wedding tradition in which the mother-in-law is involved. This ceremony symbolizes the bride's farewell to the girl's life and the transition to a new role - a wife, and in the future, a mother. In the old days, only unmarried girls could walk with their heads uncovered or their hair loose. After marriage, they were required to cover their heads with scarves.

2. Balloon decoration

Hearts or swans from balloons over the table of the young are slowly but surely becoming a thing of the past. Now there are many other options for decorating the hall: fabrics, flowers, ribbons.

3. Bored contests

You can hardly meet a person who has never seen a contest with putting on diapers, “guess the melody”, jumping in bags and the like, which are repeated at every wedding. Discuss with the host what competitions you want and don't want to see at your event.

4. Collecting money from guests

The presenter, begging "for a boy or a girl", has long looked out of date and stupid. And in this way you create unnecessary inconvenience for guests who have to shove banknotes into their pockets. Many people now generally pay by card everywhere and are not used to taking cash with them.

5. Make guests drink and toast

The most ridiculous thing is to force non-drinking guests to still drink "for the health of the young." The same applies to forced toasts and participation in contests. There are people who do not like to speak in public. All guests at the celebration should feel comfortable, a good host knows this by default.

6. A lot of food on the table

Once upon a time in Soviet times, the amount of food on the tables showed your "generosity". Now it only shows disrespect for other people's work and for their own money. Why order obviously more than guests can eat, and throw the rest in the trash?

7 Bride Stealing

Including this in your wedding script is only worth it if you come up with something really original. And not just the "unexpected" disappearance of the bride, who hid in the back of the restaurant, and tasks to sing and dance for the groom.

8. Tasteless photos and photoshop abuse

“The bride on the palm”, “the groom under the heel”, compositions a la “tourists against the backdrop of the monument” and other masterpieces have long been left in history. Come up with something new. Now the trend is direct, "live" photos and original productions.

9. Release pigeons

As a rule, all girls are touched by the sight of cats, hamsters, and they are so kind that they won’t offend a fly, but at the same time they torment white doves completely ruthlessly. Birds were not born to serve as decoration for your wedding.

Previously, it was believed that without a fight, the wedding failed. Perhaps the waiters in the restaurant will have fun looking at the fighting guests, but the damage from broken dishes and broken interior items will most likely have to be paid for by the heroes of the occasion.

A wedding is a family birthday. And it would seem that this is a matter of two people, a man and a woman, but a happy family also draws strength from the love and unity of grandparents, parents, and godparents. A happy family is proud of the strength of its kind.

You can revive new family traditions or once lost customs of your kind.

Maybe even tradition "just like others" make yours. The same towel, the tradition seems to be the same as everyone else, but you have it connected with your grandmother. It's only yours. Or glasses. Outwardly, like other couples, but only you know that your great-grandmother had them ... It is such seemingly insignificant things that can distinguish you from others.

Also a very good tradition - it is a dowry. Firstly, if a girl is aware that her mother has prepared it for her, then she will already be serious about family life. And secondly, in it all mother's strength!

If there are no traditions in the families of the young, then in the power of a young couple establish these traditions on their own. And you can start on your wedding day, come up with something unusual. Thus, the original wedding is guaranteed to you, because no one else will have such a wedding. For example, newlyweds buy very beautiful chests especially for presenting gifts. They can also be used after the wedding, putting there, for example, wedding accessories, glasses, a book with wishes, an album with photographs, a dress and a veil. All this will keep the memory for many years. And then the chest can be passed on to the next generations. This is how the connection of generations, the continuity of the clan is maintained.

Also, if these traditions are lost in your family, it is you who can become the founders of new family traditions or revive the once lost customs of your family. And then you will be able to pass on the main family heirloom to your children - love, wisdom and mutual understanding.

How the matchmaking goes on the part of the groom, we will consider in detail in this article. Marriage is a rather old ritual. In the times of Rus', before sending matchmakers to the bride, they held a family council. Among the matchmakers were relatives of the groom, less often close friends.

The purpose of matchmaking is to notify the girl's parents of the young man's desire to marry her. Various songs and jokes were prepared for matchmaking. It was on this day that the girl found out about the desire of the guy to marry her.

Modern marriage is very different. Old customs have lost their force. Although it is still a sign of respect. It depends on matchmaking what kind of relationship will develop between the girl's parents and the young man who wants to become their son-in-law. For everything to go smoothly, you should think over the script.

How is the matchmaking

There are no clearly defined rules for organizing and conducting matchmaking. It is customary to bring symbolic gifts to the bride's house, for example, bouquets of flowers for the future mother-in-law and the bride. For the father of the bride, it is advisable to choose cigars or expensive alcoholic drinks.

The groom should pay special attention to his attire. It is better to choose a classic black suit. Your task is to conquer future relatives. Since the choice of a groom for their daughter is a very important moment for parents, they pay attention to every little thing. And in ripped jeans or shorts, you will look extremely ridiculous at such an event.

From the very doorstep, matchmakers tell the purpose of their visit, they talk about the future son-in-law, his positive qualities, education, attitude towards family and children. Next, the parents talk about their daughter. After that, they can ask the groom questions that concern them.

On the day of the matchmaking, they agree on the bridegroom when the girl comes to the groom's parents. Often, organizational issues are resolved after the show.

Scenario

The event is, of course, important and serious, but a well-chosen funny scenario with pleasant surprises and innocent jokes will make it possible to leave a huge amount of positive emotions. If you have expressed a desire to conduct matchmaking taking into account all folk customs, remember that matchmakers should be sociable, sociable, and active. For carrying out, you can take a simple scenario as a basis:

The groom with matchmakers drive up or approach the house of the future bride. Seeing their bridesmaids, they begin to sing fervent ditties, joyful songs about happiness, love and wedding.
The groom goes into the house and presents gifts to his parents, if this is the first meeting, the acquaintance should begin with the father. If possible, bring a real loaf.
The guests sit down at the table.
Matchmakers offer parents to bring a girl.
Parents describe the positive qualities of their child, how smart, beautiful and hardworking she is;
The groom confesses his feelings for the chosen one. It will be quite original if at this moment the script is diluted with poems.
If the matchmaking went well and the parents are satisfied with the future son-in-law, the father gives his blessing.

Modern matchmaking is a tribute to ancient customs. Today it is much easier. The rite itself was very important, it made it possible not only to show respect for future relatives, but also to clarify important questions. Yes, and it is better to start family relationships by mutual agreement of all parties, so that no one has a desire to spoil the union of the young.

Accept the betrothed, serve the mummers

In Rus', there was a special attitude to matchmaking. Everything was carefully thought out, and a kind of scenario was drawn up. Together with the groom, his relatives came to the bride's house. The matchmaker was a blood relative of the young man.

If the future bride was not very young or beautiful, the parents from the first arrival of the matchmakers agreed to the marriage. And if the girl was young and pretty, the matchmaking could be held several times. Until the parents are convinced that this guy is perfect for the role of the future son-in-law.

Interesting facts about the ancient matchmaking:

If the bride's parents agreed to give her in marriage, they brought pies to the guests. Usually they met matchmakers on the doorstep with a loaf. In the case of a negative answer, the loaf remained whole.
Matchmakers considered Friday, Wednesday and the 13th unsuitable for solving “heart” issues, so they did not go to woo on these days.
They went out after sunset, so that no one would see or jinx them. They walked in silence all the way to the girl's house.
Negotiations were conducted standing up so that the marriage took place sooner.
When the matchmaker was going to the bride's house, they threw a bast shoe at his back.
Nobody was told about the intention to send matchmakers, so as not to jinx it.

Bride's look then and now

The bride is called the return visit of the bride to the groom's relatives. In ancient times, the girl chose the most beautiful outfit and covered her head, going to the bride.

The girl was asked various tricky questions, tested her for modesty and ingenuity. To make sure of her love for work, they could offer to sweep the floor. At the same time, they very carefully observed both her reaction and how she copes with the task.

If the father of the future groom liked the girl, he could kiss her on the cheeks. If the future bride did not want to get married, she could hide in a closet and take off her outfit. Some parents, wishing to hide the physical defects of their daughter, sent their maid to the bridegroom. The truth could only be known after the wedding ceremony.

Modern brides are limited to a sincere conversation in which the parents of a young man and the future bride solve their issues of concern, get to know each other.

Marriage in a new way

Modern matchmaking can be organized in two ways: the groom sends the bride as a matchmaker, or he himself comes to future relatives.

In the first case, the script can be filled with various jokes and songs, set the festive table, thereby relieving tension.

You can diversify the celebration with the help of popular folk sayings or proverbs:

Cry for a day, rejoice for a century!
We take bread and salt and call you to feast!
One matchmaker swears for other people's souls!
You can't lie against the matchmaker!

Requisites for matchmaking

For a traditional pre-wedding event, you need to prepare:

Towel. They bandage a woman who performs the duties of a matchmaker. Further, this towel is used at the wedding.
Loaf or round bread.
A little bit of trivia.
Drinks and snacks, be sure to honey.
Ring for the future bride.
Presents for the girl's parents.
A stick decorated with flowers and bright ribbons is a staff.

The matchmaker has a very important task. It depends on the response of the parents. Traditionally, her speeches should be full of all sorts of proverbs and sayings. If the matchmaker knows how to speak deftly and excitingly, everyone will be interested. And matchmaking does not turn into a boring formality.

Modern matchmaking, although different from that which was held in the old days, is also a mandatory event before the wedding. To make a positive impression on the parents of your chosen one, think over the scenario and prepare in advance. Of course, today parents know in advance about the arrival of matchmakers, young people have already discussed preparations for the wedding several times, but the groom should prove himself at the matchmaking so that the parents do not have a drop of doubt, and they gladly let their daughter get married.

The word "sign" comes from the word "note", i.e. observe. Many wedding signs have come down to us from time immemorial, without losing their meaning. In order for a marriage to be happy, our ancestors believed in many signs: what time is the best time to have a wedding, what to avoid so as not to harm the young, how to protect them from an unkind look, evil intentions, etc.

Signs of matchmaking

The protagonists of the matchmaking ceremony are not even the future bride and groom, but the matchmaker and the matchmaker. After all, the success of almost the entire enterprise as a whole depends on the matchmaker or the matchmaker. As they marry, so will life go.

The rituals associated with matchmaking were given great importance. All weddings started

precisely with the hassle of a matchmaker or matchmaker. And so the matchmakers had to perfectly know all the rituals and customs associated with matchmaking and weddings. This knowledge was necessary for them in order to behave correctly during the matchmaking.

Traditionally, before the matchmakers were sent to the bride's house, they were seated on a chair in the groom's house and all four legs were tied at the chair with a sash, so that the wedding would be better connected. Without fail, a worn bast shoe was thrown into the back of the matchmakers, and it was necessary that the bast shoe was not just worn, but worn to holes. It was then that everything should have worked out and worked out well. When the matchmaker or matchmaker went “on business”, they first had to kneel before the icon of the Mother of God, wipe it with a clean towel and read the wedding plot three times.

Arriving at the house of the bride's parents with the offer "You have goods, we have a merchant," the matchmakers had to sit opposite the door, so that their feet were on the floorboard leading straight to the exit from the house. This was a guarantee that the matchmaking would be successful.

It was not customary to talk about the wedding right away. Starting from afar, it was necessary to gradually move on to the main subject - matchmaking. If the groom did not suit the bride's parents (it never occurred to anyone to ask her consent), then they politely made it clear that the party was not suitable. For example, they said that the girl was not yet mature enough, or they came up with some other excuse. Some did not bother to explain, but simply put a pumpkin in the wagon of matchmakers - so they made it very clear that they considered the groom unsuitable.

Well, if the parents agreed to give their "goods" for the "merchant", then there was a long meeting, rather for the sake of appearance, as a result of which a decision was made on the date of the wedding. After that, the bride was arranged, the bride was shown to the matchmaker (matchmaker) so that they could evaluate all her advantages (and shortcomings), sometimes the groom himself was present at the bride.

When you go to your future daughter-in-law to woo your son, let your son enter first. He does not take off his hat in front of the matchmakers until they are seated at the table. If one of the wooers manages to take away a spoon from the bride's house, then the son will be the master in the house and his wife will never leave. Three months after their wedding, the spoon should be thrown into the house of the bride.

On Wednesday and Friday they don't get married. This is due to the fact that Wednesday and Friday are fast days. On the one hand, it is not good to think about matchmaking on the day of fasting, on the other hand, if matchmakers come, there are problems with refreshments, which can also affect the result of negotiations. (Fasting these days is bequeathed because on Wednesday Judas betrayed Jesus, and on Friday Christ was crucified).

The matchmaker came to the handshake - the door is on the hook. As soon as the matchmaker or the matchmaker with the groom's relatives enter the house of the bride's parents, the door immediately closes with a hook - so that a person who accidentally enters does not jinx things.

The matchmaker in the bride's house should not sit down. Sit down - it will not work. They also say that if the matchmaker sits down, then the children of the young will be "seduns" later, they will get up late. If he agrees to drink, then the children will grow up to be drunkards. If you persuade her to eat, then the children will suffer from gluttony.

The last step on the way to the wedding was the engagement. Parents blessed the young, and they bowed three times before the images. As a sign of consent to marriage, the elder headman tied the hands of the young with a towel, the bride gave everyone scarves, woven fabric or shirts.

It is necessary to marry in April, until the last day. Advice-omen is based on the fact that in May to woo or get married - "toil all your life." Its roots go back to the days when May was firmly associated with the sowing season. However, even now May matchmaking and weddings are the advantage of the city, but not the village. Nevertheless, there are many weddings in May, and they are by no means always unsuccessful.

. “In order not to quarrel in the future, a young wife, entering her husband’s house, breaks a plate. Then they step over the fragments together.” This tradition probably goes back to the time when the bride broke the pot. If it broke, it means that the bride is chaste; if not, it means that she did not save herself.

When is the right time to get married?

Many people ask themselves the question - when to get married? How to choose a wedding date? What is the best time for a wedding? There is no single answer to these questions, it all depends on you. But if you still want to somehow decide, then here are some folk signs associated with the date of the wedding:

1. If the wedding took place on the 13th, then the marriage will be unhappy, and if 3, 5, 7, 9, then happy.

2. Marriages concluded in the afternoon are considered more successful.

3. Misfortune befalls a young couple who announce their forthcoming marriage at the end of one quarter of the year, and get married at the beginning of the next.

4. Wednesday and Friday are considered unfavorable days for marriage.

And here are the signs that are noticed on the wedding day:

1. When buying wedding rings, without entering the house with rings, you need to say: “To a good life, to a faithful family. Amen".

2. If the bride was presented with roses, then the bride herself should cut off all the thorns with scissors. Look, don't poke yourself.

3. The bride's dress should be with long sleeves and a closed back, long and without flowers, boutonnieres at the waist. Warn all relatives and future guests not to give piercing and cutting objects. If the bride's hem is cut off during the wedding, the bride herself does not hem it.

4. Young people are seated at the table on a shaggy fur coat or sheepskin coat, turned inside out with fur. To live richly. So that the young always have money, they read a conspiracy: “Money, money, flow like a river, be in the pockets of God's servants (names), so that they would have them until the end of their days and live richly and prosperously. The word key-lock. It is read at sunrise by the bride and groom on the eve of the wedding three times, after the wedding - at sunrise it is read by them once.

5. On the day of the wedding, it is good to plant a tree for the bride and groom. Plant so that the trees take off.

6. Leaving the church after the wedding, the bride distributes change in order to remove unnecessary troubles in her family life.

7. During the wedding, when the crowns are on the head or above the head, young people should not look into each other's eyes: there will be betrayals. Don't look at your candles either. Look at the father. Wedding towel, candles are not left in the church. Hiding at home - will definitely come in handy.

8. So that the young people do not quarrel, they speak to their cutlery before they sit down at the table: “As the church is unshakable and indestructible, faith is strong, mead is sweet, so the slave (name) with the slave (name) were inseparable and unshakable. They couldn’t be without each other, they couldn’t live separately, not a day, not an hour from this time, from the wedding table, like me, a slave (the name of the master), I read the slander. Amen. Amen. Amen".

9. They don’t take salt to matchmakers - their children will not live, they will disperse.

10. If at the wedding one of the young people first steps to the altar, he will be the head of everything.

11. At the moment when the young are kissing, the following words must be said, then not a single separating slander will break the young: “As they look at the crosses during the feast of Christ, so young people would look at each other - they would not have seen enough. As Christ loved his Mother of God, so would a husband love his wife, and a wife would love her husband. Amen".

12. The bread and salt with which parents will meet the young should not lie on the pure white part of the towel, but on its red ends, brought together (the middle of the towel will sag). The loaf with which the young are met cannot be bitten and broken, it can only be kissed three times. The loaf with which the newlyweds are greeted, the guests do not eat. If it is very large and it is impossible to eat it right away, dry the crackers and eat it with soup. The loaf is eaten only by the bride and groom.

13. Immediately after dividing the loaf (wedding cake), it is customary to do the following ritual with a veil. The mother of the groom approaches the young, removes the veil from the bride and ties the attributes of the female share: a scarf and an apron. A veil is put on the head of an honorary young witness, and she must wrap herself around herself three times. This ritual symbolizes the passing of the baton of life: it is assumed that it is the first witness of the next who should marry. After her, the veil is transferred to other girls - participants in the wedding. They repeat the ritual. Then the groom's mother takes the veil and hangs it in the red corner under the icon.

14. During the wedding, the bride's shoes are stolen and ransomed. Holding the bride's shoe in your hands is good luck, because if the girl did not stay in the girls, then she is lucky.

15. A wedding dress, veil, shoes are not rented or sold to anyone, therefore, if you have financial difficulties, then the dress should be made inexpensive or one that can be worn on holidays.

16. Dried wedding flowers are not stored.

17. To protect a young family from the evil eye, you should purchase in advance small icons of the Virgin Mary (for the bride) and Jesus Christ (for the groom) or personalized images. On the day of the wedding, these icons must be hidden in the outfits of the young and left there until the end of the wedding celebration.

18. Previously, the husband took his wife in his arms and brought him into the house in order to deceive the brownie: supposedly the wife is not a stranger from another kind, but a born baby. Today, this ceremony has lost its original meaning, but the tradition, beautiful and pleasant for the bride, has remained.

May these folk traditions bring you happiness and love!