Sexy talk. Master the art of intimate conversation

Intimate conversation is quite common for a man, while for a woman it can cause embarrassment and fear of opening up. But after all, such conversations are necessary for couples and close people must necessarily discuss their intimate life. Psychologists assure that there are several positive sides to this conversation. Firstly, these communications bring lovers closer and contribute to the establishment of trusting relationships in a couple, moreover, it helps partners understand each other's desires and needs.

As a rule, such questions are not asked during sex, and it is not always possible to predict the partner's reaction to a particular action. Secondly, intimate conversations heat up sexual desire and passion. Every man wants to feel like a hero in bed, for this he needs to know about the excitation of his partner and feel like an excellent lover. Therefore, a woman needs to open up as much as possible and pronounce the words that she is so embarrassed to say.

Communication on intimate topics brings brightness to sexual life, but unsatisfied hopes and desires, silence and resentment provoke hidden, and, unfortunately, uncontrollable irritation, which leads to reproaches and mutual accusations. Having dared to discuss sensitive issues with your loved one, remember that the conversation, like intimacy, should be enjoyable for both, spend it in a calm atmosphere, in a friendly and relaxed tone.

There is no place for accusations, blackmail, fuss and exactingness. And revelation does not mean at all categorical and rough straightforwardness. If you want your partner to diversify your sexual games, find the right approach to him, subtly and carefully hint to him about it. The biggest mistake would be to accuse a man of monotony and helplessness, this will cause him pain that not everyone can forgive.

In a conversation, be prepared to receive frankness for frankness, because often we see the partner’s shortcomings, but we don’t notice our own. Very often, men complain about the lack of initiative in women, as they expect romance, novelty, foreplay, but they themselves do not give this to their partner. Out of fear of offending their beloved, men are silent, but sometimes, unable to restrain themselves, they accuse women of indifference, callousness and complexes. To prevent such reproaches, one should talk about sexual topics, because everything frankly said will be aimed at improving relations and understanding each other.

Sex texting or sexting is a great way to turn your boyfriend or girlfriend on and take your relationship to the next level if you send it to the right person at the right time. If you want to know how to write obscene text messages that will turn on your interlocutor as soon as you press the "send" button, just follow our instructions.

Steps

Start

Continuation

1. Raise the stakes. Continue to send obscene texts, but in a more direct tone. You can even invite your partner over to make the passion of texting a reality. If a girl says she is preparing for a sex education seminar, ask if she can come and work out with you. Here's another way to raise the stakes:

   • "Wait, let me get dressed."
   • “It's so hot in here. I'll take off my shirt."
   • "What are you wearing now?"
   • "What if I show you what I mean?"
   • "Can you guess the color of my panties?"

2. If the partner answers yes, raise the stakes even higher. If you see that the interlocutor likes obscenity, or maybe he even wants to try something in reality, you can make the conversation even more frank. You can talk about the meeting or what you touch or how you take off your clothes. Here's what to say:

   • “I took off all my clothes. I am under the blanket".
   • "I'd love to chat, but I'd rather close my eyes and introduce you."
   • "What would we do if you were around?"
   • “It's so cold in here. Would you like to warm me up?
   • “Sorry for taking so long to answer. My hands are a little busy."

3. Get creative. If you and your partner are already turned on, you can continue like this until you start to caress yourself. Or, when it gets too "hot", you can make an appointment. Whatever happens, your correspondence should be creative and interesting so that your partner does not get bored. Use as many details and descriptions as possible, respond quickly so that the other person knows that you are giving them your full attention.

   • “If you were here, I would stroke your hair. But now I’m going to stroke something else…”
   • "I'm so excited that I can hardly write."
   • "I'm wearing a tight T-shirt. Take it off for you?"
   • "I'm taking off your belt - thinking about spanking you a little..."
   • “I just got out of the shower, my hair is wet. Do you have a towel?"

strong end

1. Masturbate. If obscene texting is heading in the right direction, then you and your partner will slowly start taking off your clothes and touching yourself. If you both enjoy it, it can be a lot of fun and exciting. Just tell me what you would do, what you are doing now and what you would do together.

   • All you have to do is relax and send obscene messages until both of you have an orgasm.
   • You can say, "I want you to [verb] my [body part]." So your sexual experience will become more real.
   • Tell me how you feel during the correspondence - describe all the sensations, even what you feel with your fingertips.

2. Introduce the person you are texting with. Mutual masturbation is fun, but having sex is much more enjoyable. If the conversation is heading in that direction, you can simply ask your partner if they'd like to come over, or ask them yourself. Here's what to say:

   • "I'm trying to imagine what you look like, but I'd rather meet you."
   • "Why don't you climb into my bed? I want to see if we will be as good as I imagine.”
   • “I guessed the color of your panties. But how do I know it's true?"
   • “Why don’t we continue in reality? I want my hands to do something other than texting.”
   • "Why don't I come to you? I'll still be there. If you don't mind, of course."

3. End the conversation. Whether you're ending a conversation because you made an appointment, or because you got everything you wanted, you need to be sensitive. You can just say that it's time for you to leave. Whatever the reason, be subtle and keep a sexy tone even at the end.

   • Don't just say "bye" or "see you" at the end of the conversation. Say "I can't wait for your next text" or "Let's text you for another hot, lonely night." Make your partner think about you and crave another correspondence.
   • Don't switch to a non-sexual topic at the end of a conversation. Don't say, "By the way, are you going to Katya's birthday party tomorrow?" Ask about it later.
   • If you're ending the conversation because you're meeting in person, just say, "I can't wait for us to continue this conversation live," as you drive to her house.

• Girls like to hear and read sensual, romantic things. Guys, on the other hand, usually freeze with excitement, as soon as they write what you want to do with them.
• Know who you are talking to. You should not send obscene texts to a girl you just met or whose number you took last night. Not everyone likes lewd messages and no one likes dirty texts at the beginning of a relationship. Make sure that your interlocutor likes this type of communication, and he will not be shocked by receiving an obscene message from you. It should be either your partner, or a person who is quite liberated.
• Choose the right time. Even if you know that the interlocutor likes sexting, you should send such SMS when he is free. If this person is working or writing a test, he or she will not be able to reply to your messages. And if you want your messages to attract personal contact, make sure your partner doesn't have plans for the next hour. It is best to send messages in the evening or at night, when the interlocutor is alone, bored and thinking about you. Night is the sexiest time.
• It is difficult to understand the tone of the conversation in text messages, so try to laugh it off in any situation.
• To start a conversation about sex, turn an everyday, ordinary act into something obscene. For example, write something like, "I'm licking a pink lollipop, what are you doing?"

Warnings

• Start small, take your time. First you need to know the mood of the partner.
• Remember that SMS can be saved and used for blackmail. Don't send obscene messages to people you don't really like - anyone can read them, you don't want to risk your reputation for no reason.
• Be careful: anyone can take over the phone, and this someone can send obscene messages to everyone in a notebook. So if the most handsome guy or girl is texting you sexually, then this is most likely a joke.

Sooner or later, the very moment comes when parents have to touch on a very delicate and sensitive topic that is not customary to discuss openly. The child will sooner or later ask where the babies come from? Parents need to be ready to give the kid an intelligible answer that he can rely on. How should you talk to your child about sex and should you do it at all?

Mom must understand that she does not just tell her child about intimacy, but touches on such serious topics as the relationship of opposite sexes, pregnancy, childbirth, and the structure of the human body.

Correctly tune in to a conversation about "it"

Psychologists say that you should not be afraid the issue of intimacy with children, like fire. The more aggressive, non-ordinary a parent behaves when he hears a similar question from his child, the more interest in this topic he arouses in his child with such behavior. It is necessary to understand that intimacy is a part of life that needs to be discussed. Children with whom parents talked about the relationship between a man and a woman, having matured, enter into an intimate relationship, realizing their physiological and psychological readiness for this, and not under the pressure or influence of society. They also lead a safe sex life, as a rule, they have a permanent sexual partner. Before the beginning talking with a child on an intimate topic parents should prepare together for the upcoming conversation, discuss a plan of action.

How to talk about it with a child of 3 years

For the first time, a child begins to be interested in how the body works at the age of 3 years. He is aware of himself as a separate whole person and sees himself separately from his mother. He begins to wonder where he came from, how he appeared with his parents. At this age, there is no need to go into intimate details, the child will be satisfied with the answer: "Your mother gave birth to you."

How to talk about it with a child 4-5 years old

At the age of 4-5 years, the child begins to be interested in the genitals and how they are arranged and why they are so arranged. It is no coincidence that such questions appear to him, because it is at this age that the child is aware of his gender. Do not make a forbidden fruit out of an intimate topic. If parents perceive this topic as a child's natural desire to know himself and the world in which he lives, it will be easier for them to talk to him. A child at this age can be told about how the genitals of girls differ from the male genitals.

How to talk about it with a child 6-7 years old

A child aged 6-7 years shows more interest in the process of his birth. He builds a logical chain, tries to analyze and draw conclusions. At this age, you need to tell the baby about his birth, missing the technical details, but not supplementing the story with unrealistic stories. You can buy a children's encyclopedia for your child and discuss this issue based on the book.

How to talk about it with a child 8-9 years old

During this period, the child first learns about the high sensitivity of the genitals. At the age of 8, the child begins to masturbate. Many mothers who find that their child is engaged in a “shameful” business become indignant and horrified, scold, and punish the baby. There are many reasons, but this situation should not be the reason for punishment. Meanwhile, the child is not aware of his actions. He is driven by the desire to know himself and his body. It is at this age that under the influence of aggressive behavior and the negative reaction of parents, many complexes and disorders, both sexual and psychological, are formed in children. If a child shows an increased interest in his genitals, it is worth taking him to a child psychologist. At this age, you can already talk about intimacy between a man and a woman, about eggs, sperm. It is necessary to try to explain everything to the child in accessible words, without complex terms. It is possible to build a harmonious relationship with a child only if you respect his needs, interests and not be afraid to talk to him. It is the responsibility of parents to convey the correct information to children. As is known,

PHOTO Hadia Ulumbe

Embarrassment, lack of words, fear of shocking a partner or a habit... The reasons why we do not discuss our desires and erotic experiences may be different. They may be worth discussing with a therapist, especially if they are mixed with feelings of guilt and helplessness. But maybe you just don't have enough practice? "Talk about sex as natural as a dialogue at dinner, says sexologist Irina Panyukova. “Sharing opinions about flavors enhances the enjoyment of food.” Anyone who is able to discuss dishes during a meal can master the art of erotic conversation. A few recommendations.

1. Make up your vocabulary

Erotic vocabulary is very individual. Not everyone likes diminutive suffixes and playful words, someone is unsettled by rudeness and swearing, while for others the same words serve as a powerful aphrodisiac. If you have not yet determined your own preferences, you can do this by getting acquainted with how the characters of different books conduct erotic conversations. It can be a classic, such as the antique Decameron, Denis Diderot's Immodest Treasure, or Fanny Hill. Memoirs of a Comfort Woman by John Cleland. More modern works are also suitable: the diaries of Anais Nin, the novel "Emmanuelle" by Emmanuel Arsan. When reading, pay attention to your reaction and choose those words and expressions that are consonant with you. Try writing them down. It is likely that you will write many of them for the first time in your life and experience new unusual sensations that will bring new colors to your erotic palette in the future.

2. Talk to a mirror

Undress, stand in front of a mirror, smile at your reflection. Name aloud what you see: nose, eyes, lips, hair, chest, belly ... Habitual words take on an exciting meaning when we mentally associate them with sex. Come up with pleasant epithets: sensual hands, satin skin. As you change positions, keep naming different parts of your body. If words are not enough, use parables. Some couples give their genitals proper names, for example, "Mitya" and "Masha", or call them allegorically: "boy", "girl", "friend", "sweet" ... Also name the actions, while simultaneously showing them on yourself: stroke , slap, touch, tickle, lick and so on. Try to pronounce words with different intonation, choose the one that seems more suitable to you. When you have finished the exercise, say “thank you” to your reflection for your help.

3. Prepare a rough plan

Consider in advance what topics you will touch on in a conversation with a partner and in what way: will it be a verbal flirtation, a sexual request, a fantasy story ... Where and how would you like to talk? The choice of location depends on the topic. For example, you can flirt in a public place: many couples who already have a common erotic vocabulary and experience in such conversations like to exchange playful phrases with sexual overtones that are incomprehensible to others, but the first frank conversation is better at home. A rough plan will help you better understand what you want.

4. Create a special mood

For a conversation on erotic topics, it is important to choose the right time and environment. Because of our own awkwardness, we sometimes try to say something on the run, as if in between, and this prevents us from hearing and understanding each other. Pick a time when you both don't have to rush anywhere and a place where you won't be interrupted. Tune in to dedicate all of your attention to your partner. You can watch a movie together in which the characters make love, look through an album of erotic drawings or photographs, and, for a start, talk about what is happening with the characters. Most often, our partners readily respond to such proposals. If the reaction is unexpected or it seems to you that something is going wrong, postpone the conversation until another time and just enjoy each other's company.

5. Show kindness

Treat yourself, your partner, and your couple as a whole with care and love. If you are embarrassed, do not hide these feelings behind bravado or cynicism, it is better to admit them and ask your partner to listen carefully and without interrupting. Start a conversation with what you like about the other person, compliment him or her appearance, describe the activities that give you pleasure. Do not demand an immediate response if it turns out that he or she is still having a hard time talking about these topics. Similarly, do not demand an immediate response from yourself if you are confused by some fantasy or request of another. Ask for time to think and remember that not all desires need to be fulfilled, sometimes the opportunity to openly talk about them is enough.