What are they? Russian men through the eyes of foreign women. One day I went on vacation with my Russian girlfriend, now ex

Very, very much has been written about how foreign men treat Russian women, and almost nothing about how foreign women treat us Russian men.

Little of. A myth has been created around the attitude towards our ladies that, they say, everyone loves Russian women, that they are valued for their modesty, diligence, patience, etc.

WELL WHAT TO SAY HERE... THEY ARE VALUED, OF COURSE, BUT IN THE BEGINNING, OUT OF KNOWLEDGE...

I have not met a single foreigner who, having been in the husbands of some of our "indiscriminate" Nastenka, would then speak positively about this Nastenka, i.e. without the viper hiss and the local mat.

There are exceptions, of course, but rarely. It's only at first everything is like in the movie:
- Is it warm teebye, girl?.. Is it warm teebye, red?..
- Yes, it's warm, father, it's warm, Morozushko ...

And the eyes are so kind, clean, honest, incomprehensible. Like a Teletubby, or rather, a Teletubby.

Well - Morozushko swam like an ice cream in the oven. And then our good-eyed, a year later, grab this American or German Frost by the scrotum (she pulled out his beard before) - and go to court, sue his house and half of his fortune. And he will judge. Our inexpressible. Teletubbies are good. The clear-eyed deadly tooth.
Then, leaving Morozushka in his Berlin Detroit, he will return to his homeland. He will take a walk with his school friend Stasik. With institute friend Maksik. With her first husband Tolik. With the best friend of the first husband Maratik. And again - shast under the Christmas tree. Wait for the next French or Japanese Frost, so that he can beat off some castle on the Loire River or an island from the Sikasima archipelago.

SO - MYTH, MYTH AND AGAIN MYTH.

She, of course, and a galloping horse, and a burning hut. But - if she needs it. And if you do not need - a horse for sausage, and a hut for an office. Of course, I exaggerate, but not much.

You know, for example, that one of our girls married a Swiss man who was 84, then - for his son, who is 50, and then - for a twenty-five-year-old grandson. And all three sued everything. That is, literally. She left all three like mountain goats, without pants, to walk through the alpine meadows.

Another - got into the harem to some kind of sheikh. Lived for a year. Tired. I asked the sheikh to go home. The sheikh did not let go. Then she strangled him with her breast and fled. History is nowhere more real. Now he lives somewhere near Arkhangelsk, a milkmaid. Only our Nastenka can strangle a man with her breast.

So it turns out that at first foreigners think well about Russian women, and then - let's put it mildly - they find out the truth.

It is quite different with us men.

At first, foreigners do not think about us in any way or think badly. But then...

What are we, Russian men, in their poor understanding? We are drinking. We don't wash. We have a mysterious unpredictable soul. We are mafia. We are bearded bears. We walk in winter hats, with balalaikas, knocking icicles off birch trees with our heads, etc.

A drunk, smelly, unpredictable bearded bear in a hat, with a balalaika and with a machine gun. Having read moreover Dostoevsky and therefore even more unpredictable.
A survey of foreign women who did not have a long direct contact with Russians, on the subject of what concept they associate with the phrase "Russian man", gave approximately the following results:

. ≈ 25% - drunkenness, vodka
. ≈ 25% - mafia
. ≈ 25% - bear
. ≈ 25% - beard, hat
By the way, a similar survey among our girls (what do you associate with the phrase "foreign man"?), True, who had contacts with foreigners (almost all of ours already had contacts with foreigners), gave results of a different kind:
. ≈ 25% - money, wealth ("must take it!")
. ≈ 25% - stupidity ("brains like a woodpecker")
. ≈ 25% - greed ("for a roll of toilet paper you will strangle yourself")
. ≈ 25% - boring ("flies howl, dogs drown themselves and camels drink too much")

So, returning to the attitude of foreign women to the Russians. It's the opposite here. Those who haven't seen us think we're bad. But those who, so to speak, have dealt with us, all almost unanimously say: Russian men are very good. Honestly.

The main idea is like this

In many reviews, the same idea can be traced: Russian men are dim on the outside, but bright on the inside.

Here, for example, from the essay of a Chinese student (I reproduce it in its entirety, with errors):

“Russian men are positive. They don’t immediately catch the eye, but then I understand: a good person, kind. They have an interesting brain and a warm soul.”

Those. warm.

The Japanese writes:

"I like Russian men. They are not greedy, they read a lot, they love holidays. They have a strong character. Germans are taller, Americans have fatter, richer bodies, but Russian souls are cooler."

You see: they are "fatter and richer", and we are "cooler souls". I mean, soul. It's not about the cases.

American:

"The Russian man is a good person. He is not only interested in money, he has an interesting spiritual world."

Everything is right. Of course, we are “interested” in money (try not to “be interested” in it today!), but as for spirituality - this goodness, as they say, is higher than the top of our head.

Korean:

"The external data of Russian men is not always attractive. Not new clothes, they don’t always shave their faces down, they don’t comb their hair, they don’t always wash their shoes. But if you don’t pay attention to this circumstance, you can see the internal enticing qualities of Russian men. They are kind, generous, cheerful , not boring, real friends, and always give help when there is a problem."
Well done girl. She explained everything in detail about us, "non-boring men." Even a tear breaks through. So a stingy male tear rolls onto the unshaven "bottom of the face."

Here is the Spanish one:

"The Spanish man has a hot body and a cold soul, the Russian man has, in principle, everything is hot, above all the inner world."

Yes, our "inner world" is hot, I know from my own experience.

Greek:

"Despite drinking vodka and not being friends with the bath, the Russian male mentality has a lot of positives."

Thanks for that too.

Vietnamese:

"Russians drink beer in the morning. How does it work afterwards? These are bad deeds. But nevertheless, a Russian man has a good heart. These are good deeds."

Oh you sweetie. You know everything: where are the "good deeds", where are the "bad deeds". Is it a beer to drink in the morning - "bad deeds"? It's just normal. Here in the morning to blow half a liter of vodka - then there will be business. And about the heart - right. Got to the point.

SUMMARY: WE ARE GOOD. BETTER THAN WE LOOK.
FROM THE SIDE, YOU VIEW MORE.

And about our girls, of course, I overdid it. They are good too. Only with us, not with them. So they, the men there, need to, let them not lay eyes on someone else's, bastards. But there is something to put on, to be honest. Our girls, if you look carefully, are beautiful, kind, loyal and smart. And outside. And inside.

And our, Russian men, dim appearance is a trick. So that all sorts of Honduras do not worry.

Perhaps, no nation in the world does not cause such close attention from others. Moreover, Russians, like no one else, are clearly divided into Russian men and Russian women. Russian men are melancholy and lazy. Russian women are charismatic and purposeful. Like two halves of one whole, they are only in a single bundle an indestructible force ...

Personal: inside view

Having arrived in Los Angeles for a year with my then fiancé, I felt in my own skin that foreigners really think about us Russians. In general, let's talk about stereotypes about Russians abroad...

The attitude of Russians to alcohol

Foreigners believe that Russians spend the whole day hugging a bottle. Knowing this, I could not imagine that this opinion would affect me too. But in vain. On my first trip to the supermarket, I noticed that my chosen one imperceptibly, but rather persistently, takes me away from the shelves with any alcohol. To my astonishment, he didn't react at all.

Some time passed, and I almost forgot about this incident, but as soon as we went with his friends to a restaurant, and I ordered a glass of wine, I again caught the same condemning look on myself. In the evening, an unpleasant conversation took place, from which I understood this: American men believe that all Russians are addicted to alcohol. At milestones, without exception!

And as it turned out, it is sometimes impossible to explain that the nationality “Russian” indicated in the passport does not mean that you are an alcoholic.

Cooking

Another opinion - all Russian girls cook very tasty. While the newly-made American wife is unable to cook anything but purchased canned food. I can be wrong, but it sincerely seems to me that many Americans, in the hope of dense and tasty lunches and dinners, marry Slavs, but, alas, ah ...

In principle, this desire of men is quite understandable; in America, most women really do not know how to cook. At all. The whole cooking process begins and ends with removing the film from the finished dinner and putting the tray in the microwave.

After watching Russian films, my fiancé brought home a variety of products, the prevailing part of which was flour, butter and cabbage. As my Russian ingenuity suggested to me, this “set” was supposed to be pies with cabbage.

I felt a little sorry for the American machos, who were hungry for love and satiety. They had to do their best, because they can get ready meals from their missis.

All Russians want to go to America

Some time after arriving in America, I began to notice that among my husband's acquaintances and friends there is an opinion that all Russian girls are sleeping and seeing when they will be able to enter Novaya Zemlya. And all such marriages are nothing but arranged.

Personally, I never dreamed of moving to the USA, on the contrary, it was difficult for me. Many times I caught myself thinking that with great pleasure I would return to my native, albeit dirty, noisy Moscow.

In one conversation with an American my age, I told her about my suspicions, to which I received the following answer: “Well, yes, if you were an American, you could express dissatisfaction, but be glad that you managed to settle in the USA.”

Although it was said with a smile, I understood that, in their opinion, the Russians have no right to be dissatisfied, since their husbands provided them with a unique opportunity.

Russians are illiterate and ill-mannered

This stereotype has solid ground. Remember how some of our compatriots behave on vacation abroad. Naturally, Americans (and Europeans too) have the opinion that we simply do not know how to adequately behave in public. Unfortunately, it's true.

Outside the home, and especially on vacation, a Russian person sometimes behaves much worse than in his native land. It is normal here to catch surprised looks at yourself with the correct use of a fork and knife.

It offends and even in a sense offends the opinion about the illiteracy of Russians, especially when it is said by a person who does not really know who won the Second World War.

All Russian girls are stunningly beautiful!

A stereotype that flatters my ego. Foreigners are sure that the streets of Moscow, Yekaterinburg, Perm, Sochi, etc. only athletic girls of model appearance go. Our beauty and femininity in the understanding of foreign men are personified by Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova. It's nice!

But there is also the other side of the coin: they say about Russian women that we do not know how to choose the right outfit for the time and place, i.e. and here the adequacy of our taste is questionable.

If you believe the Americans, in Russia all women, without exception, go to a nearby store for milk in full dress: hair, makeup, an abundance of jewelry, expensive clothes, thereby losing precious time, and most importantly, recklessly spending their husband's money. And that is exactly what they think is unacceptable.

Opinions: foreigners about Russian women

Some of them have never met Russian women, others are well acquainted with them. Users of the social network Interpals spoke about how they imagine our compatriots.

Ivan Pintor, Mexico:“There are a lot of stereotypes about Russian women that are spread through TV: tall, beautiful blond girls that you can meet in a marriage agency to take one of them away from dank Russia as a bride.

And about Russians in general - that they drink a lot. From my personal experience I can say that I had a Russian teacher - a tall, slender blonde. To be honest, all Russians wrap me in some kind of charm. Perhaps that is why I began to study this language.

James Langevin, Netherlands:“Correct or not, but this is my opinion about Russian women, created by the national media and my communication with them during my travels. Very wise.

I would say that your women are pretty, strong in their mentality and surprisingly open to tourists from those countries that are not too friendly towards Russia.

Russian girls have a stronger and stronger character than men. In terms of appearance, they are among the most beautiful women in the world, very feminine!”

William Millier, France:“How do I see Russian women? Hmm... good question! The first thing I think about is that they are very attractive. In general, some stereotypical image emerges: a blonde in sunglasses and a fur coat.

Sometimes they can be or look somewhat superficial. When they want something, they will do anything to get it. They like luxury and beautiful things, so they are kept by those who have money, but in return they look after the house and take care of their husband and children.

Burak Topcu, Türkiye:“Russian women are the most beautiful women in the world. They have some kind of ideal beauty: some can be gentle and sweet, others can be sexy and sensual. Russian girls wear seductive clothes and pose freely for photos. It is also true that they drink a lot and love to party.

But on the other hand, I have friends who took a Russian as their wife. And everyone says: “Thank you, Lord, for the fact that we met! She is the best wife you can imagine." In general, I have only a positive opinion about Russians.”

Michael Jenner, Germany:“Most Russian women are wonderfully educated (there are female engineers, female doctors, scientists or economists, etc.). Russian women with whom I communicate virtually and whom I have met in real life have completely different values than German women.

For example, prestige and appearance seem to mean a lot to them (possibly due to remnants of the Soviet past). Some Russian girls are rather cold than warm in terms of behavior and their views. By the way, I want to note that they are very patriotic!”

Ale Sanroman, Spain:“From the experience of communicating with Russian girls, I realized that they have a practical and rational outlook on life. But at the same time, they are very romantic persons, so they often have such thoughts:

“Yes, life is sometimes unfair, but an amazing romantic story will definitely happen to me, because I deserve it.” They combine depth of thought, ambition and sensitivity."

Craig Graham, UK:“I think Slavic facial features are the most feminine in the world. The German ones seem a little rough to me, which is not particularly suitable for women. I would call Russian women the most beautiful.

And the Russian accent! He is very attractive. The Russian language has a hypnotic effect and I love that it is so different from English. Russians have a stronger sense of unity and community, which is why women are more virtuous than in the West.

And also, it seems to me, many Russian women like to dominate and lead.

Peter Kaulitz, 21, student, Rostock:“I know many students from Russia. They are all very, very similar: both externally, and in the manner of talking about the future, and in what kind of men they choose for themselves.

They look down on their peers unless it turns out they have respectable parents. Men are chosen for themselves 7-10-15-20 years older, it is clear that everything here is explained by finances. Russian girls are beautiful, but cold, and very calculating, at least the ones I know.”

Heinz Schulze, Germany:“Russian girls know their worth, in any case, Muscovites. (Heinz has been living and working in Moscow for more than 8 years - ed.) Of course, money plays a paramount role for them. And they are looking for a husband with an apartment, a car and a bank account.

Russians dream of going abroad because they think it's better there than here. And men are richer, and the air is cleaner, and everyone has houses with a picturesque garden. Russian wives are wonderful housewives, they cook well and tasty, hospitable, but uneconomical.

But after all, when choosing a wife, we are not looking for a housekeeper, and differences in mentality interfere with relationships. Russians are too extravagant, too unpredictable, they like everything to go according to their scenario, they like to command men, they bring up children very strictly, they are not punctual, optional, capricious.

Juha Graaf, Finland:“Russian girls have played a very important role in my life. But I can only talk about girls from the northern capital. We often come to St. Petersburg: we perform in local clubs, we drink, we party. Russian girls are absolutely reckless, if they go into the gap, then this is for a long time and to the fullest.

They do not know the measure in anything - neither in alcohol, nor in love. Very feminine, passionate, very beautiful, very vulnerable.” Juha was twice married and divorced, the second wife is from St. Petersburg. From his beloved girl from St. Petersburg, he has a two-year-old son, the couple does not live together.

Jonas Lindström, Sweden:“Russian girls are very interesting and educated interlocutors, they are ready to support just any topic of conversation, much more interesting than Swedes, who already have an outlook. Russians love themselves very much, so they are always smartly and beautifully dressed, with makeup.

Martinas Polch, Switzerland:“Russians are smart and beautiful, they know how to emphasize their strengths and hide their flaws. Russian women are strong in spirit, ready to do a lot for the sake of love and family, ready to forgive a lot, vulnerable, sensitive. Real women, the standard of femininity.

Justine D'Ore, France:“Russian women are very feminine and luxurious. You want to carry such women in your arms, dress in furs and fulfill their any desires. Unlike French women, they are more relaxed in relationships, often take the first steps themselves, touchy, but quick-witted, it's fun and easy with them, every day is like a holiday. True, this holiday does not last long, Russians are fickle.

Anders Hendriksson, Cyprus:“I had to communicate a little with Russian girls. I received impressions from a trip to Moscow in 2004. Russian girls, painted like nesting dolls. Very bright, elegant, plump, ruddy. It’s immediately obvious that they are healthy and happy, they probably eat pancakes with honey and caviar and drink vodka, that’s how beautiful they are.

A friend of mine told one about a Russian girl whom he fell in love with, and she turned out to be a swindler. Now he says that all Russians are very prudent, dangerous, treacherous, they think everything over carefully, but I don’t believe it, Russians are very easy to communicate and cheerful, they like to have fun, Russian booze is something!

How many people, so many opinions, and foreign men judge us mainly by Russian girls whom they knew personally, whom they met on vacation or worked with.

In any case, everyone agrees that Russian girls are very beautiful and feminine, cheerful and stylish, good housewives and passionate lovers, and the demand for Russian wives abroad is increasing every year.

I wrote this article for the portal www.fashiontravel.ru, but I am happy to bring it here:) Original text on the above site:)))

More recently, about fifty years ago, Slavic men in Europe were considered the standard of beauty. "Tall, masculine, with blond hair and blue eyes, ah!" - sighed foreigners (especially residents of southern countries). Now, if you ask a European woman if she would agree to have sex with a Russian man, she will giggle and shrug her shoulders: “Probably not.” Recently, the image of the hero of the Russian land has become overgrown with such myths that only the most daring will decide to go to bed with a Russian man, not to mention marry him ...

Myths of the new Europe:

Myth 1. "Russian men always wear white socks under black boots."
This is considered in Europe the height of bad taste and symbolizes the complete inability of men not only to be able to dress stylishly, but simply to be able to dress ...

Myth 2. "They always smell bad." If you are "lucky" ("lucky") - only then. And if not, also garlic with a fume ...

Myth 3. "Russian man is rude." European women believe that Russian men love "hard" sex. And also cruel. They enjoy rudely ripping off their partner's clothes, tearing her pantyhose, and slapping the woman hard on the buttocks. “That’s why Russian girls are sadists,” the Europeans say, “they want a man to“ take ”them rudely, whisper vulgarity in your ear and bite your neck to bruises!”.

Myth 4. "A Russian man beats a woman." A myth arising from myth No. 3 and regular negative stories on European TV about Russian reality. “Family violence in Russia all the time. And the Russians also have a saying: hitting means loving! Horrible!"

Myth 5. “Men in Russia drink vodka non-stop, but fight for fun.” This myth is also formed by television, where stories are regularly shown: “Russia is drinking too much”, “Russian men are dying out”, “The violent life of Russian everyday life” ...

Myth 6. “Russian men are very selfish, arrogant and show off. For example, only “Parliament” is smoked (albeit sometimes bought with the last money), thinking that it is cool, although in fact “Parliament” in Europe is not at all a prestigious brand of cigarettes.”

Myth 7. "Slavic men do not take care of themselves." They do not care what to come to work, shave or not shave. Many of them dress very cheaply.

Russian man is a big child

What can be said here? Yes, it’s not easy for a Russian person now, they strive to offend and offend ... But don’t worry, dear men, there are still foreigners who risked linking their fate with a Slav. After all, getting to know a Russian better, it becomes clear that he is not at all such an egoist, does not wear white socks under black shoes, does not drink around the clock, and is not at all formidable, but even tame.
“My Russian husband,” said one American, “is a big kid. I know that outside the threshold of the house he is hooligans with friends, but at home he is a real affectionate cat. I like that a Russian man takes care of documents, real estate, our financial side of life and other little things. My husband is very strong internally and there is always something to talk about with him! He is very gentle and attentive!”
“Russian man is not greedy! boasts a Swede who has been married to a Russian. He likes to impress! And he is a wonderful lover and father ... ".

The breadth of the Russian soul

Well, that a Russian man is not greedy is a well-known truth. Although the fact that Slavs throw away handfuls of money in European resorts does not strike a foreign woman at all, but is alarming. Why throw away so much money when you can get by with much less? That is why foreign women are afraid to take Russians as husbands: they will squander their family savings. But young ladies from warmer countries (Italy, Spain, Greece) and the United States, on the contrary, respect the breadth of the Russian soul and gladly agree to become spouses of Russian “lapuses”.
For example, Spaniard Consuelo Segure has been happily married to RTR TV presenter Vladimir Molchanov for many years. The famous Ukrainian footballer, player of the Italian "Milan" Andriy Shevchenko is married to the American model Kristen Pazik. Rumor has it that the Russian tennis player Marat Safin, completely disappointed with Russian women, has his eye on an American, but not on any, but on the current girlfriend of Justin Timberlake, Jessica Bill. The star of the tennis court made a date for the beauty, which she did not refuse!

Russians "build" mafia out of themselves

Well, in general, how many people - so many opinions. Everywhere there are "copies": both among Russian men and among foreigners. And Europeans sometimes drink more than Russians, and mock their wives with diabolical ingenuity. Only such incidents are hushed up or simply denied by the press. As for Russian men abroad, alas, only a small percentage prove themselves from the best side. “They always pretend to be a mafia, although they themselves steal from supermarkets,” the foreigners grin. “If Russian men were good, their women would not run abroad…”.
But maybe, given the demographic situation in Russia, we shouldn't judge men harshly. When there are three girls for one young man, it’s her, not him, nature dictates to fight for the best male and look like a million dollars every day, but a man can relax, because he can easily find a new passion for himself. Therefore, perhaps the outflow of women abroad is not so bad, because it will lead to a balance of power in the male and female "camps" of Russia...

In conclusion, I would like to say that, alas, the awareness of foreigners about Russian reality is very, very primitive, hence the absurd myths about Russian men and women. Many of the European women saw Russians only from TV screens, how would they know that our men will give odds to any European in strength, courage, wit. And in the flights of fantasy, the Russian person has no equal! Would a foreigner stick his head into a scanner to print out the unique shape of his auricle? No, the main advantage of a Russian man is that he is never bored with him!

AT THE END, I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE STATEMENTS OF REPRESENTATIVES OF DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ABOUT RUSSIAN MEN (original from the site: http://blog.i.ua/user/1002484/133144/)...

From a Chinese student's essay:

- "Russian men are positive. They do not immediately catch the eye, but then I understand: a good person, kind. They have an interesting brain and a warm soul."

The Japanese writes:

"I like Russian men. They are not greedy, they read a lot, they love holidays. They have a strong character. Germans are taller, Americans have fatter, richer bodies, but Russian souls are cooler."

American:

"A Russian man is a good person. He is not only interested in money, he has an interesting spiritual world"...

Korean:

Here is the Spanish one:

"The Spanish man has a hot body and a cold soul, the Russian man has, in principle, everything is hot, above all the inner world."

Greek:

"Despite drinking vodka and not being friends with the bath, the Russian male mentality has a lot of positives."

And here is what Naomi Campbell says about her Russian fiancé Vladislav Doronin: “He is a wonderful person, special. I thank God for this meeting. I think it was not the time for me to have a baby before. But now, at least, I cannot complain about man. He's really beautiful. He's a Man. And he's a gentleman. He looks at me and he doesn't see a supermodel, he sees me"...

Demand for Russian men appeared in Europe

PRAGUE, 26 March. The Czech newspaper "Ludovi Novini" reported that Russian men had become popular in Europe. Until now, the Internet and marriage agencies have earned on the sale of Russian brides abroad, but now the quotes of the stronger sex from Russia have begun to grow, writes BFM.

Europeans wanted exotics, this was confirmed by domestic matrimonial experts. Indeed, the fashion for Slavic heroes with a Hollywood smile, who know how to arrange a holiday for a lady, began in September last year. But so far no official marriage. Many foreign women have too romantic ideas about Russian men, said Irina Lebed, director of the Tet-a-Tet marriage agency. As a rule, they are looking for a handsome, fit, blue-eyed macho, with an oblique fathom in the shoulders, and a Ferrari in the garage.

According to Irina, foreign women expect generosity and gallantry from Russian men: “Our men are more emotional - they look after them beautifully, expensively and beautifully. Well, Canada, it's understandable, Spaniards like Russian men, because they are less pious, they like their breadth of soul. The temperament of Spanish and Russian is close."

As a rule, foreigners judge all Russians by individual successful representatives living abroad. However, if we compare Russians and foreigners, the latter are more suitable for a serious relationship. They are soft, sentimental and caring. And Russian generosity is nothing more than a fashion myth, says Lilia George, a Russian, director of the London-based Art Stream Company: “I can say that foreigners are more attentive, kinder and more generous. they help in everything and practically fulfill any desire.

Russian men in the mass are aggressive, dissatisfied with life and rely on chance, says Lilia George. However, they also have strengths: “They are more well-read, more educated, it’s interesting with them, you don’t know what to expect from them, you don’t get tired of talking with them, and on any topic. That’s how they can win.”

But still, this is not enough for the family. Europeans do not tolerate gigolos. A Russian husband must, at a minimum, have a job to provide for his wife and children, and the means to buy a house. Upon divorce, he usually leaves the property to his wife and descendants, continuing to share earnings with them.

By the way, according to statistics, the most desirable husbands are representatives of the Mediterranean region. Women are attracted by their temperament and beautiful courtship, combined with the ability to cook and understand wines. In addition to Internet sites, future spouses, as a rule, get acquainted in nightclubs, and those who are older - in theaters, galleries and on horseback rides.

Earlier, scientists from the University of Warwick in England found that representatives of the strong and beautiful halves of humanity, connected by a common origin, choose partners for life among their fellow tribesmen. A group of researchers conducted an experiment among people of different races. It turned out that most often marriages are concluded between people of the same nationality, said the head of the work, Professor Patrick Malcolm.

“We call this Russian custom mitkissbreak: everything is cool, you kiss - and suddenly they tell you that it's all over!”

Marie, 28 years old (France)

Lived in Nizhny Novgorod for a year, Moscow for four years

“I ask you to change my name, but you can leave the names of the guys - I will be glad if they recognize themselves and they will be unpleasant. They deserve it!

My first Russian boyfriend, Kostya, was from a well-known highly educated family, and I could not understand why he behaved this way with women. Kostya could be very aggressive and constantly violated the boundaries - if he saw that something could hurt me, he would definitely do it. For example, we agreed to meet at a restaurant at eight, I have been waiting for him for an hour, he does not answer calls. At 10 he calls and does not apologize, but simply says that he will arrive now. No, I'm not going to wait for you for two hours, I'm already at home! Then he says: "I'm coming to you, cook me dinner." So I've been working all day, waiting for you, and now you want me to make you dinner?! Well, okay, he says, make me pasta, I'm hungry. I decided - ok, I don’t want to fight, I’ll cook, and now it’s 11 o’clock, he’s still not there, I call, and he’s like: “Well, you said that you don’t want to cook, and that’s why I stopped at a cafe and ate. I'll be there in an hour." And so all the time: some stupid childish game to piss me off. I hope that not all Russian men are like that and only I was so unlucky.

In general, here you are usually in love from the very beginning - they say that you are the woman of their life, and everything develops quickly, too quickly! For me, love is more loving than love. That is, this action, this is something that you consciously build, and the feeling does not arise immediately, but when you get to know the person better. But in Russia everything is just fiery, latino style. At first, Kostya wanted to impress me - here we are in a restaurant, the table is full of different dishes, but now we are already flying in an airplane and find ourselves in Bangkok. But I do not like such surprises, a good surprise is when a person relates his gift to your life and desires. And suddenly taking me to Bangkok, forcing me to postpone everything, is disrespectful to my plans.

Russians also like to give dead flowers. I love potted flowers, and bringing in the plucked ones is like bringing in a dead kitten. It is worth getting to know the person before giving gifts: for example, I love chocolate, bring me chocolate if you so want to please me. When I finally left Kostya, he came with flowers and made me reconcile, and after sex and breakfast he said: “By the way, we are breaking up.” That is, like he decided it, it was important for him that he was leaving.

Then I met Misha - he was a designer, he lived right above me. We met in the elevator, the next day we already met, after 3 days we slept together. In sex, everything was monotonous. Something was cute - a lot of brutality, a lot of tenderness, Russians often look into the eyes, but it was all according to some kind of one scheme, no small games, the same pose and discontent if I want to change something. Both of my friends knew very little about female pleasure. They never offered to go downstairs - and there are things that are not asked for (especially if you willingly give a blowjob).

Misha and I went to Israel a couple of months later and spent five wonderful days there, and at the end he said: “By the way, we are breaking up.” My friend and I call this Russian custom the mitkissbreak: everything is cool, you kiss - and suddenly you are told that it's all over! I laugh now, but it hurt then. He said it's because we have a partnership instead of a relationship, and also that he doesn't want to be with a woman who is smarter than him. I began to ask what I did wrong, maybe I interrupted him often? But he said: "No, you just want to always be on an equal footing." Yes, indeed, I want to! I asked him to leave me alone and when he left I started crying. And the next day I woke up with the thought that no more Russian men, that's enough. If I didn’t succeed not only with such a jerk as Kostya, but even with a kind guy Misha, who has an apartment above mine, who speaks excellent English and spent three years in Berlin, nothing will work out with others. So I boycotted the Russians. You know how it happens: you meet bad guys - and then you see these bad guys from afar, that's how I see Russians from afar. All these things like "I'm a real man, I'll cry" and stuff. No, guys, this is not what it takes to please me. Now I have an Italian friend who moved to Russia because of me, everything is fine with us, and I don’t feel any cultural barrier.

I would like to add that our generation of Europeans grew up in a very calm environment - without problems, wars, crises. We had the opportunity to get an education and in general everything that is needed, we are like spoiled children a little. Misha in the 90s almost lived on the street, his father was in the clinic, and he had to spend half of his salary on it, and also help his mother, who was going crazy. His stepfather committed suicide. Compared to all this, I had a very easy life. And then I realized that I had my own, pleasant version of the relationship. For example, I was upset by his behavior, and then it turned out that on that day his father burned down the apartment, and I just didn’t know. Here, people like me, everything is different, they have a good job and a salary, and when you meet a guy, you can tell him: “Oh, let's go somewhere on Friday,” and he doesn't want to admit to you that he doesn't have money or that he can't go because his mom is drunk and throwing up on the carpet."

“When our son was born, it turned out that there are a lot of rules that we must follow”

Astrid, 34 years old (Sweden)

12 years living in Moscow

“I danced lindy hop, and Volodya did boogie-woogie. We had a common teacher who put on joint numbers, and Volodya once wrote to me on VKontakte and asked if I had a dance partner. Then we met to chat, we decided that we would try to dance together, and it soon became clear that it would not just be dancing, but three years later we got married. But we continued to be dancing partners - and the man there, according to all traditions, plays a leading role.

I feel a lot of cultural differences. In relations with Russian men, I, as well as with Russia in general, have many difficulties, but this is what is interesting. In Sweden, we are afraid to say something wrong, to be impolite, not politically correct, but here there is nothing like that, and I don’t like it at all. Even Volodya can sometimes jokingly say something that I do not approve of (about gays, for example). But in general, he does not fit the stereotypes about Russian men - he is much softer, he has weaknesses that he is not afraid to show, does not pretend that he is a macho.

Women in Russia are not required to be independent: they themselves do not want it and men do not want it. All my Russian men were surprised by my independence. The cafes reacted to my desire to pay for myself in different ways, sometimes very negatively. But everything was easier with Volodya: for the first time we were in just such a cafe where you pay at the checkout, and it was natural to pay everyone for themselves. In general, I earn more and I think it’s normal sometimes to pay for both of us, we’re a family, but sometimes it seems to me that it’s ... not something to be ashamed of, but not quite comfortable.

In general, all these differences exist, as it were, in parallel and are not directly related to our family - we accept each other, and life is full of completely different concerns. I, too, may not be quite the same as he imagined a wife - he had a Russian wife before me, so he has something to compare with. We are together and that's it.

But my mother-in-law is a real conservative. When our son was born, it turned out that there are a lot of rules that we must follow. Do not show the child to anyone while he is small, baptize him and so on. I can't say for sure if my husband believes in God, but neither I nor he wanted to baptize the child. At first, the mother-in-law insisted, and now she often tells us: “What a pity that I cannot leave a note for him in the church, he is not baptized!” And she was also very embarrassed by the name Einar - she objected for a long time, and now it is very important for her that the stress is on the first syllable, and not on the last, because Ein A r is some kind of "non-Russian", that is, someone who should not be. In general, all these disagreements are resolved peacefully, Volodya behaves very wisely, and we are always on the same side.

At the same time, I cannot say that equality reigns in our family. The fact is that now, when we have a child, I sit at home all the time, and I really don’t like it. Of course, I want to be with the baby, but sometimes I need a rest, and Volodya was not given a day's vacation at work, and he is so responsible that he never took a sick leave (I'm sure that all the men here do this). I have become a mother with a child who cannot go anywhere, in the evenings only sometimes, but for this you need to ask every time - this creates a feeling of dependence. At the same time, the husband can always go somewhere after work and simply informs me, without asking if I will sit with the child. Everything somehow happens by itself: I’m already sitting with him. In Sweden, things would be different: he, too, would have a holiday after the birth of the child. And here at his work, it is believed that this is how it should be: the wife is at home, and you work, everything is correct. This upsets me greatly, because as a result, he moves away from the process of raising a child, from communicating with him. When I ask him to stay, he says: “Oh, I don’t know at all what to do with him!” Of course, I felt the same way in the first days! Did I know? The first child is generally such a thing with which it is completely incomprehensible what to do. I gain and improve this experience every day, but with my husband it happens much more slowly. Previously, he was also worried about this, but now Einar has grown up - and it has become easier.

“There are normal guys here too, but very few, and therefore they are all busy”

Kathleen, 29 (Ireland)

5 years living in Moscow

“In Russia, everyone immediately began to ask me why I was not married, and I was shocked by this. I consider myself young: in Ireland at this age, few people are married, but here - on the contrary. In Moscow it's hard to meet someone in bars or clubs - so I have a lot of experience with internet dating. With Russian guys, even if I like them at first, it's only a matter of time before they say or do something that really upsets or surprises me: something sexist, homophobic, rude or just weird.

One guy, with whom we were traveling in a car, yelled at a woman who was just crossing the road in front of us at a pedestrian crossing, so I decided that we were meeting for the last time. But most of all I remember the case with the guy from VKontakte: we went for a walk at VDNKh, he was such a supermacho and said that he wanted to shoot at the shooting range. I don't really like it, but he insisted, and we went. He wanted me to shoot too, I refused, but he insisted so much that I decided: okay, I can do it once. I took a gun - and then he began to teach me like a child: this is a bullet, you put it here. It turned out funny: I was much better at shooting than he was. And he was very annoyed, it was clear.

Once, on a date in a cafe, I went to the toilet and accidentally closed there, I could not get out. It was so ridiculous! I thought, how can it be? He will probably decide that I ran away and leave, I would have done the same in his place. I couldn't get out for an hour. When I returned, he also sat still and calmly continued the conversation, as if nothing had happened - a scene like from a comedy. That is, he didn’t do anything wrong, but I was surprised that the man just sat still, doing nothing for an hour: he didn’t leave, didn’t try to find out what happened and help - he just sat and waited. I think it's very in the style of Russian men.

There are normal guys here too, but very few, and therefore they are all busy. That's life. And free usually with oddities. For example, the guy with whom I met here the longest, two years, was very afraid of a serious relationship and all the time pretended that we were nobody to each other - he didn’t go on vacation with me and didn’t call me his girlfriend. In the end we parted ways.

The last romantic experience I had was about a month ago - we met in a company and had a good time, got drunk, and when we caught a taxi in the night, he asked for my phone number. That is, it seemed to me so, I began to dictate numbers, and he said: “No, not yours, but your friend, the one who was sitting next to me.” It was very unpleasant, and I don't understand why he did it.

Flowers are also often given here. Nobody in Ireland does that, we don't understand it very well. I would like you to call my story “Flowers for Kathleen”, I would prefer that instead of flowers I was given a little more respect. To be honest, I'm thinking of leaving Moscow. I love this city very much, but it seems that I am faced with a choice - either to live somewhere in another country, or to remain single.

“Russian men are much more polite and courteous with women”

Ashley, 24 years old, (UK)

2 years living in Moscow

“My Russian boyfriend we met at a club. We chatted for a bit and I knew right away that I really liked him. We danced, then we talked on VKontakte and met a week later.

In England, people often flirt in bars, clubs, and usually kiss or go to bed at the first meeting. There is much less flirting in Russia, or at least outright flirting. I was used to the fact that everything is open and fast, and, probably, I could seem too straightforward to Russian men, because I'm bored with waiting so long. I like to try and immediately understand whether it works or not. Here people get married early, just a little, they think about the family, about “forever”, they are afraid to waste time on someone who is not an ideal match for them.

My new friend acted very strangely: he went on a date with a group of friends who spoke better English, apparently nervous that we would not be able to communicate. Then we went to visit, got drunk, and I kissed him. In general, I rarely do this, but in Russia I always took the first step, because everyone was embarrassed by me.

Russian men are much more polite and courteous with women. They insist on opening the door for you, making sure that you don’t fall on the subway, they don’t let you carry your bags yourself, give up your seat and always have to be sure that you are well, warm, you are not tired ... It’s never like this with me did not apply in England, I did not expect this at all, and I liked feeling like a princess. Now I have new standards! I perfectly understand girls who are against such behavior, but I have learned to enjoy it.

But I must say that in sex I did not feel like a princess. I don't think local men really care about women in bed. It seems that they do not like to give oral pleasure, although they expect it from girls. I can’t say that this is very important for me, and in general it was no worse and no better than with others.

The problem was that I wanted equality and independence. I was warned that Russian men want to pay for everything (in a restaurant, cinema, shop - everywhere), and I was ready for this, but I always felt somehow uncomfortable, because I earn money and want to participate. I don't mind if I get paid on the first date, maybe the second, but actually I want to pay for myself, I'm brought up differently and I don't think men owe me anything. My boyfriend made a lot less money, but he was very proud and always wanted to pay. He even paid for a cake for my girlfriend's birthday, where I went alone. Nevertheless, I often paid myself, because he really did not have enough, and I wanted to go somewhere - which was completely normal for me, but it was clearly difficult for him.

The most unpleasant thing was that one day everything could be wonderful, and the next completely changed: one day he decided to stop everything - completely unexpectedly for me. It turns out that he thought a lot and made a decision. I don’t think it’s just a matter of cultural differences, but sometimes it really felt like we were from different planets, too different to continue this relationship.”

"A woman in Russia is always responsible for all the hygiene of sexual life"

Louise, 31 (France)

Lived a year in Voronezh, 4 years in Moscow

“I learned Russian at school and always dreamed of going to Russia. My mother claims that this is due to the fact that I liked the tennis player Marat Safin. And when I arrived and told it here, everyone said: “Safin?! He is not Russian!"

When I first arrived, I was surprised that women here do not shake hands at a meeting. Then I also began to shake hands with everyone, and they giggled, saying that it was not customary for them. Voronezh students, when they found out that a Frenchwoman had come to the hostel, came to look at me specifically. And I wore jeans and a scarf on my head - they were very disappointed! With this stereotype about French women, I had a lot of trouble - if a Frenchwoman, then you can immediately grab your knees and make some impudent hints. The men did not pay attention at all to the fact that I obviously did not like it, - “So what, you are in a short skirt!”

As for clothes, it seems that a Russian woman must be beautifully dressed and change outfits often - always remember that a man should like her ... It happened that a friend looked at me and said: “Again? The same dress again? I say, "Look at you, you're wearing the same jeans all the time, why should I dress up for you?"

It's often said that Russian men always have to pay for you, but since I hung out with students and artists who usually don't have money, the question didn't come up: “Do you want to pay yourself? Fine!"

And a woman in Russia is always responsible for the entire hygiene of sexual life - for example, if some kind of infection is discovered, then it is the woman's fault, she should have thought that a condom should have been used. One of my Russian partners said: “Why didn’t you say that you need to protect yourself, you know, you feel it, you are a woman!” But now I know that Russian women have superpowers: they are doctors and soothsayers at the same time!

With the man with whom we have been living together for several years, Dima, in addition to the difference in cultures, we also have a difference in generations - and I can say that he is a Soviet man, authoritarian. At some point, I noticed that he was waiting for me to do everything household. I said that I don’t know how to cook, and he says: “I’ll show you, and then you do it.” And he often criticized everything, either the eggs were not so cooked for him, or something else - I say: “Well, okay, do it yourself.”

The most unpleasant thing was when some of Dima's friends began to call me by his last name - Bulnygin. That is, I come to a party without him or say goodbye after the evening at which we were together, and people say: “Oh, Bulnygin has come” or “Bye, Bulnygin!” It still disgusts me to remember this - they know my name, we have already talked more than once, why do they identify me through it? You see, when you come from another country, you don’t know anyone, it’s important for you to be perceived somehow as well. The second time I even burst into tears when I heard "Bulnygin has come." The person who said this is actually kind, he probably did not even understand what was offensive here. He apologized later. I told him that next time I know what to answer him - I will call him by his wife's name. But in fact, it will not be the same effect at all, rather it will just be strange. In general, I don’t imagine this in France, it seems to me that it’s very tough.

And when I tell my mother, she says: “And what did you want, Louise - having arrived in Russia, living with a Russian man, what are you complaining about now?” We have such an expression - "enfoncer des portes ouvertes", "knock open doors" - that is, do something meaningless, fight with air - and so she tells me that I'm kicking open doors. Maybe she's right, I don't know..."

“It seems that the guys in Russia do not understand the word “no” at all

Tanya, 29 years old, (Germany)

She lived for half a year in Moscow, half a year in Tbilisi, 2 years in Minsk

“I have lived in different countries of Eastern Europe and I can say that Western women are treated with prejudice here, it is believed that they are open, free and can be treated differently than the rest. I don’t like generalizations, but in general I had an unpleasant experience in Russia: several times I came across situations where men did not accept refusal. When I was 18 years old and I first came here, I met a guy at a friends wedding, we flirted a little, it was completely frivolous, and I didn’t expect any continuation. Then I returned to Germany, those friends of mine called me and said that he was calling and asking about me very persistently, he wanted to meet me and all that. I said that I was not interested, but he still forced them to give him my number, began to call regularly and said that he wanted to marry me. For a while he left me alone, but when a few years later I went to live in Moscow, he found me on VKontakte, started writing and actively tried to meet me - that is, in fact, this person pursued me for several years. There were other similar situations, but the most unpleasant happened in Rostov-on-Don, where I attended language courses and lived in a hostel. There was a regular party there, we drank, and I began to kiss a guy who began to cross the line and touch me roughly. When I said that it was unpleasant and painful for me, he did not want to stop, as if I were playing with him. He went on and said that all the girls liked it, it was violence. Finally, I was able to kick him out, but the strangest thing about all this is that he also began to write to me later, and sometimes even writes to this day, although that was five years ago. One gets the impression that this is normal for guys in Russia, they don’t understand the word “no” at all. These people believed that just because they exist, I should like them, or rather, there was simply no such question - like, dislike - the most important thing is that they are men, and therefore they have the right to choose for themselves. I must say that everything, of course, very much depends on the circle of communication. In Germany, I communicated more with classmates, with like-minded people, and when traveling, you meet different people, everything is not perfect here either. And yet in Germany it is difficult to meet a guy as self-confident as in Russia.

Then I lived in Georgia, and there was a very similar environment, I had a lot of troubles, but the situation that shocked me the most happened at work. I had two married colleagues who had very young children, and I knew their wives, we talked a lot, I asked how the children were doing and stuff like that. And a few days before my departure there was some kind of party, and one came up and asked if I would like to go with him to the mountain: “You are leaving soon and still have not seen the beautiful view from the mountain.” It was late in the evening, and the whole intonation of this proposal was obvious, I replied that I was not interested, but he was not at all embarrassed, but began to insist - so that I had to leave. And then the situation repeated itself with the second colleague, who approached me the next day at the next event and asked if I would like to go with him to the lake to see a beautiful view. In general, it was even funny, although I was not laughing - I was shocked and could not believe that they really behaved this way, and even so self-confidently, as if they had no doubt that I was here only for this. to sleep with them. Then I complained to another colleague of ours, who was my age, and he said that these two from the very beginning discussed that I should be fucked. At the same time, they always communicated nicely with me, had a cultural, intelligent conversation. This story was the last straw for me, and I realized that I don’t want to live in Georgia. The situation in Russia was also not the last reason why I decided not to stay there.

Now I have been living in Belarus for two years now, and I have never had such an unpleasant experience. I encounter sexism at work: sometimes you talk to some elderly colleague and you feel that he considers you some kind of stupid girl, does not take you seriously. This annoys me, but I have never felt aggression on the street and in public places. Only in Belarus, it seems to me, it is difficult to find a person with whom one could just be together, and not immediately get married and some kind of huge plan for life. It's interesting because there are a lot of modern liberal people here, but in family matters they remain extremely traditional. I am surprised by my peers who have been married for ten years already: in Germany I have a couple of such acquaintances, but here - almost all of them. I respect this choice, but it’s hard for me to understand if they do it because they really want to, or because they just think that it’s necessary and everything has been decided for them a long time ago.”