Why girls don't like to apologize. Why don't women apologize? How to apologize to a girl if you offended a lot

We all express our regret at least once in a while when we are wrong. But scientists conducted a study and found that women tend to do this more than men. The fair sex is 37% more likely to apologize for their behavior than their companions. And usually this happens for fictitious reasons that are simply not worth remorse. So, here are 9 things women shouldn't feel guilty about.

For the desire to relax

"Excuse me, wouldn't it be too much if I take the day off next Friday?"

Regular vacations, sick days and even promotions are all your full rights. Therefore, you should never apologize for wanting to take a day off.

For a look that isn't always perfect

“I'm sorry, but I look terrible. I have dirty hair and a clear lack of cosmetics. I'm just disgusting!"

Even if you allow yourself to relax for a few days and stop carefully putting on beauty, this does not mean that you have become an outcast. Even without a perfect manicure, women remain members of society.

For debt reminders

“I’m very embarrassed, I’m sorry, but could you return this cup to me?”

Why should you feel uncomfortable? If a person borrowed something, then he is obliged to return the thing to the owner. And it must be embarrassing for him.

For expressing your opinion

"Forgive me, but I think this plan is really irrational."

Never apologize for your own beliefs. Better defend them.

For late response

“I just saw your letter. My deepest apologies for not being able to answer it sooner!”

On the one hand, ignoring may seem rather rude to the interlocutor. But on the other hand, every person has force majeure, for which he is not responsible.

For expressing emotions

“Sorry, I can’t even imagine what came over me ... Now I’m ashamed of my intemperance”

Even men shed tears sometimes. So it's all the more forgivable for a woman.

For sudden collision

A passer-by accidentally touches a woman. Her reaction: "Sorry!"

Perhaps, here it is not necessary to write high-profile comments. It's the other person who bumped into you. In fact, it is desirable for him to ask for forgiveness.

For a request to a service worker

"Hello. Excuse me, could you bring me some coffee?”

The client cannot feel guilty before the employee of the establishment for being a client. Therefore, learn to simply use the services without unnecessary timidity.

For saving

“Sorry, I can only order Diet Coke”?

This is quite normal if you do not have the means or simply do not want to buy expensive French wine. Just order a Diet Coke - and don't apologize for it.

Girls are taught from birth to be obedient and polite. It is important for adult women to know that there are things in life that you never need to apologize for.

The people around us always care about everything: we are constantly either too fat or emaciated from diets, we are condemned for our passion for a career, walking, beauty procedures and God knows what else.

According to relatives, each of us constantly makes mistakes - spoils children too much or, on the contrary, does not educate them at all, gives birth very early or delays childbearing too much.

It’s a little easier for men - society is much more supportive of many things, and women are brought up from birth in such a way that they are forced to constantly feel their own inferiority and apologize for many of their actions. It's time to stop doing it - a list of important things for which a woman in a good way should not apologize to anyone. Never. A woman's life is her own, and you need to perceive it the way the woman herself wants, without regard to the opinions of others.

your love status

You can be free, not lonely - and your mother can continue to worry as much as she likes that you still haven't made her happy with the news of your imminent marriage. You can live in a guest or informal marriage - and if it suits you, truly and without reservations - this is your personal choice, which you do not have to explain to anyone or experience feelings of guilt or inferiority about this.

If you are already married and happy as a housewife - great, then you are in the right place too. All those who claim that a woman's happiness is only and exclusively in her career can arrange their personal lives and not get into yours.

It is you who live, not your mother and not your girlfriends, no matter how hard they try to prove to you that they know better than you what exactly you need.

What are your views on motherhood?

Whether you give birth to children or remain in the ranks of child free supporters, at what age you decide to have offspring and in what quantity is entirely your choice. You can resort to the services of a surrogate mother - or have a baby to your friends, if you want. No one should ever tell you exactly how to live - period. Yes, it is not forbidden to completely change your beliefs either.

Your ways of raising children

Our mothers most often criticize our way of raising their grandchildren - no matter how clean or dirty the house is and at what age our children begin to walk and talk - even if in five languages at the same time.

The following thesis can be an argument: “Mom, you have already raised one child - me - and you assure that you are dissatisfied with the result. Therefore, I will raise my children myself - and in the way I see fit. This usually works. You are a real mother, and no one can prove otherwise to you.

Your success rates

Another parameter in which no norm is set - simply because there is none. You can run a large corporation and earn seven figures a month, be a cheerful housewife and live on your husband's money. You can be a school teacher, a cabaret dancer or a downshifter in Goa. Only you determine when and where you are comfortable making money and what you invest in the concept of "success". Under no circumstances should you make excuses, let alone apologize.

your appearance

Do you stick to naturalness and naturalness, calmly looking at your gray hair, or spend half your salary in a beauty store and the other in beauty salons? This is your decision, and in any case it is the right one.

your way of dressing

Jeans with a T-shirt, leggings in leopard print, a formal suit or floor-length dress and stilettos - yes, even a kokoshnik with a sundress. You and only you decide where and how to leave the house. Those around, including stylists with their endless “what women should not wear for ...”, let them follow their own advice. You can listen to them and draw your own conclusions.

Your body

You can proudly wear six-pack abs - or lush hips and chest. No matter what size you wear, no matter what the scales show, this does not determine your essence or the measure of your happiness. The main thing is that you feel comfortable with your sizes, numbers and volumes. The rest is completely unimportant.

Your age

The times when women in their 40s were considered deep old women are long gone. And that's great. At any age, it is never too late and not too early to do what you want and like. Skydiving, hip-hop dancing, cross-stitching, getting married for the seventh time, or going to nursing school because you always wanted to. You are not required to follow any age restrictions, rules or conventions: it's great if you are ready to proudly show off your gray hair and wrinkles. It's great if you know everything about plastic surgery and are willing to do anything to look young and fresh. This only applies to you - and your body.

Entertainment and joy

To each his own: someone does not get out of the library, while the other changes planes and countries. One cannot live without chocolate, and the other without yoga - you can continue indefinitely. No one will ever dare to judge you for your way of living in joy, so you need to make yourself happy at every opportunity. And when uncomfortable, too. Life is so short that it is definitely not worth wasting it on useless regrets, excuses and excuses.

Imagine the situation: you order a decaffeinated latte, and they bring you a double espresso. What do you say? "I'm sorry, but this doesn't seem to be exactly what I ordered"? All right. Only now the word "sorry" is better to remove.

A recent study found that women apologize more than men. And not because we are more polite. The fact is that for decades society has instilled a sense of guilt that we generally have our own opinions or desires and needs. It's time to stop asking forgiveness for our existence and the choices we make. Never apologize for...

1. Your "love status"
Being free (not lonely, but free) is not a crime, no matter how often your mother hints to the contrary, asking when she will finally see you in a white dress. And if you have a partner and for some reason you do not want to enter into an official marriage, this is also not a crime. Without a stamp in the passport, it is quite possible to live, enjoying each other's company.

Are you married and happy as a housewife? This is no less worthy choice than any other, if you are satisfied and feel in the right place. Whatever your status on Facebook, your personality is not determined by the situation on the personal front. It doesn't matter who or what thinks about it. This is your life, and you live it, not your mother or friends who know exactly how to do it.

2. How you use your uterus
Yes, sorry (oops, sorry again!) for being straightforward, but that's what it's called. Are your parents tired of hints that they want to babysit their grandchildren, while you firmly understand that motherhood is not your way? You have every right to do this and are not obliged to make excuses for it, even if you change your mind ten years later. Or don't change your mind.

To give birth or not, how often to give birth, how many times to give birth - concerns only you

Or maybe you are told that only selfish people give birth to just one child? Or is a girlfriend foaming at the mouth proving that the earth is overpopulated and giving birth to a third child is pure madness (and you want five)? It's only your choice. To give birth or not, how often to give birth, how many times to give birth - concerns only you. Even if we are talking about surrogate motherhood (consider it a rented uterus, that is, temporarily yours). Being a parent is a lifelong choice, and you should not make such decisions for the sake of other people's beliefs.

3. The way you raise your children
There is not a speck in your house, the children are clean and tidy, the dog does not bark and obeys all commands, and one of your friends still dropped: “Real mothers don’t have such an order”? Or is your child watching a cartoon while you decide to relax for ten minutes with a cup of morning coffee, and you feel guilty: would a good mother be engaged in the development of a child now, and not turn on a cartoon for him? Or maybe you secretly cannot wait for the day when the children finally grow up and leave the parental nest? Whatever it is, don't beat yourself up. You are doing everything you are capable of. No one can say what it's like to be a "real mom". Therefore, you are the real mother that you are.

4. How often do you have sex
It is believed that the happiest couples have sex at least twice a week. And if once is enough for you and your husband, does it mean that the marriage is on the verge of collapse? Or do you consider it necessary to make excuses for increased libido when girlfriends raise their eyebrows at your revelations like “And we have three times a day”? As long as you and your partner are satisfied with the frequency of intimate contacts, no one's opinion should bother you. When we have sex against our will, it damages the psyche and relationships.

Every day, twice a week, once a month... This does not characterize your union, nor the strength of love, nor the degree of happiness. The main thing is that you feel good as often as you want.

5. How successful are you
Are you in your 30s and still not earning six figures? So you have no ambition and you are a failure. Are you in love with your work and are you happy to storm your career heights? You are too fixated on this. Achieved success, but hide it so that you are not envied? Or maybe you are VLD - just a housewife? It's a shame, because you had such potential.

At best, you will feel pride for a while, but disappointment will follow.

Everyone who utters this phrase should first try to be “just a housewife” and raise children at the same time - he will probably be very surprised at how much strength and that very potential this requires.

Whatever you do and how much money you earn, work is important not only for you, but for the whole society. And trying to reach the bar of success set by other people will not lead to anything good. At best, you will feel pride for a while, but disappointment will come after it, because this is not what the soul lies in.

Relationships can be long, or they can end with the appearance of the first rays of the sun. What are you striving for when meeting girls, we do not know. But for sure, if you want to build a long-term relationship in full accordance with the canonical wish “until death do you part”, then you will be picky in your connections. The more expectations, the more careful the choice. Therefore, it is better to immediately pay attention to the moments that directly indicate that nothing serious should be expected with this girl.

1. All talk about her Actually, there is nothing wrong when a girl talks more than a guy. Men generally just talk like that is unusual. But when she talks only about herself and her problems, while not being interested in yours, then this is a sure sign of her selfishness. You got promoted at work and she keeps talking about her new perfume. Has your friend been in a serious accident? Yes, what is there! It is much more important that she did not get into the solarium today.

2. You have different values

Opposites may attract, but not when you have different values and worldviews. And now we are not talking about the situation when you support Spartak, and she supports Zenit. There are far more significant disagreements. For example, different attitudes towards managing money and expenses, or different ideas about the family. Such differences (and similar ones) can lead to further complications.

3. She is always too busy

Of course, it would be worse if she was free all the time. You don't need a slacker. But if she rejects any of your proposals for a meeting, referring to the so-called employment, then she does not really want to meet. At least that's what the prioritization of her schedule says.

4. She was dumped by her boyfriend

Now, be careful not to miss the point. We do not mean that a guy once and for some reason left her. The timing of their separation is important here. If this happened recently and she often remembers it, then you can serve as a temporary refuge for her, a way to distract or, even worse, annoy her ex. In this case, you should abandon such a relationship. And if you really like this girl, then give her time to move away from parting, and if she is worth it, she will reappear in your life. Who are you for her: a guy for once or a guy forever

5. One-sided desire to make contact

6. She has changed since you met.

Some people at the beginning of a relationship, trying to please their partner, try to seem better than they really are. And often in this case they resort to lies. In the language of metaphor, this means that when she met you, she declared her love for hockey, and when you started dating, it turned out that she didn’t even know what a puck was. If a girl lies at the very beginning, she will not stop doing it later.

7. You can't be yourself with her.

If you have to be unnatural, affected, too serious, silent or irritable next to her (in general, not being yourself), then it is better to refuse her. And it's not even that she's bad. You just don't suit each other. It is much worse if a girl hinders your development and you degrade with her. It’s better not to let this one get close to you for a cannon shot.

8. She's unfaithful

We don't even talk about the situation where she cheated on you. What matters is how she behaved with other guys. If you know that she cheated on all her exes, then what is the likelihood that this girl will be faithful to you?

9. She is against your friends

By and large, your friends do not have to like your girlfriend. You probably don't always like them either. And if she doesn't want to spend time in their company, it's not so terrible. But if she forbids you to do it, then go to hell with her. Why do you need an extra dictator in your house?

10. She doesn't trust you.

Unreasonable jealousy does not make her cute. Try to convince her of this. And even if after that she still continues to distrust you and you continually stumble upon traces of her espionage, then stop the girl's torment - break up with her.

11. She never apologizes or takes responsibility.

Relationships are built on mutual responsibility and the ability to find a compromise. You, as a man, must make greater concessions than she does. But if a girl never admits her guilt, even when this guilt is obvious, and never apologizes, then this indicates her immaturity for a relationship. 10 qualities of a girl that you need to pay attention to

There are things that we simply cannot change or somehow influence. So why apologize for them? So that later they would really begin to blame us for what we are not guilty of? In apologies, you need to know the measure. Here's a list of things we shouldn't apologize for

1. The period of menstruation

Maybe your man is sulking at you because sexual pleasures have come to an end for some period, you should not apologize for this. Let him sulk at Mother Nature. You didn’t choose such a “pleasure”, it was imposed on you by evolution. So why apologize? Well, if he does not understand this, then he is worthless.

2. Small (large, soft, sagging, etc.) breasts

The fact that your chest has become just like that, and not some other, again, is not your merit. And the fact that you will begin to apologize for her will not change the matter, but on the contrary will create the impression that she is in fact the fruit of some of your ill-conceived “frauds” or, in general, “meditations”. Your man has no right to reproach you with the fact that your breasts have developed regardless of his preferences. And that means you don't have to apologize for it.

3. Number of former partners

The fact that you apologize to someone for having previously had sexual relations with this or that person will not make it easier for you or the person you are apologizing to. What is done is done. And if your current boyfriend suddenly got you a "boy", this is not your merit, but his. You can’t change the state of things, which means you shouldn’t waste your nerves on such apologies.

4. Pimples

Gathered for a dinner party, and suddenly a pimple popped up on your face. Will you apologize? Not worth it. The pimple won't go away. And it won't improve your mood. Although, no, to your partner, maybe yours: “Forgive me!” and will cheer you up if he belongs to the category of snobs, but it certainly won’t make you feel any better, moreover, neither mentally nor physically. You didn't drive that pimple on your forehead with a stick. So why apologize for something you didn't do?

5. Character

"I'm sorry I'm like this!" - a frequent response. But who is to blame for the fact that you were brought up by such a kindergarten, school, mom and dad and the whole society that has fallen on your shoulders. That's right, nobody. It may be necessary to change in something, but you should not apologize for the fact that you have such a nature, and no other. Breaking your personality for the sake of another, adjusting it to someone else is bad. Why doesn't he fit in with you? Right. He knew what he was getting into when he started a relationship with you. And therefore, it is not worth apologizing for your nature.

6. Makeup and outfits

Every woman has the right to choose the style of her makeup and outfits. If someone does not like something in her "outfit", let him not wait for an apology. Apologizing for the fact that you like yourself, but do not like others is stupid. It's not worth bending over for everyone. As well as apologizing for wearing make-up and outfits that you like and not them.

Conclusion

Do not rely on third parties. Apologizing to someone for something that does not depend on you means lowering your own self-esteem. Considering the opinions of others more than your own is a bad move, which in the future will definitely affect you and your life for the worse.