Does love exist? True love between a man and a woman - does it exist? Is there really love

Hello. What do you think, I'm interested in your opinion: does love exist? 10 years ago I fell in love with a man. We got married. Unfortunately, my love is unrequited. He was interested in my property. We divorced after 5 years of marriage. My parents did not understand me, they consider me a hysterical woman who has lost a wonderful husband. Despite my husband's attitude towards me, I have feelings for him. Maybe I'm not of this world. Invented love, and he uses me.

Nargiz, Tashkent, Uzbekistan, 36 years old

Answer from an art psychologist:

Hello Nargis.

I'm sure love exists. A person who feels love cannot doubt its existence. We all feel. Almost all of us love. And we express our love in our own way. Each as he can and as best as he can. There are people who cannot love, most likely they are born without the ability to love and the ability to empathize. These are narcissistic personality types and sociopaths. These people can only be taught from childhood acceptable norms of behavior and communication. Then it will be easier for them and the people around them will be safe next to them. This is with regards to your question, does love exist in my opinion. Regarding your situation, I want to ask you, what exactly is love for you? What magical, magical action do you endow it with? Drawing a conclusion from your words, I can assume that in your understanding, in order for a man and a woman to be together, it is enough that one of them loves. That is, if you love your husband, then this is automatically an argument that he would treat you appropriately. You can expect from him that because you love him, he should treat you well, with warmth or something else. You have love for your husband. And there is a real reality that does not meet your expectations. In fact, you need to explore your FEELING for your husband, IT MAY NOT BE LOVE at all. I see that you are confused. I read your letter and see fragments of phrases, like pieces of a puzzle that tend to come together in a single picture. And if you try to assemble these parts, you get the following picture: your feeling for your husband, reality and the opinion of your parents, who do not understand you and consider you "out of this world." Dreaming is good. Believing in good is just super. Being sincere and expecting the same from all people is naive. A little girl lives inside you (images from childhood, your childhood states, experience remain in your psyche), you are a little girl who believes with all her heart in sincere, true, unconditional love. This is fine. This is cool. But as an adult, you must understand that not all people are good. You don't have to put up with a bad attitude. And you are an adult - you understand this, so you divorced your husband. You know that love DOES NOT have to be with a person who treats you badly. Your feeling DOES NOT oblige you to be with the person who uses you. And also the love of one spouse is not a guarantee of a long life together. YOU NEED TO THINK MORE FOR YOURSELF WHAT LOVE REALLY IS. Imagine yourself small, what are you? How old are you? Little Nargiz holds a flower or a ball in her hands, and sincerely believes that there is a magical feeling in the world - love! Perhaps she read about it in some fairy tale or heard from adults. And now she sincerely expects SUCH love to appear in her life. What will be like in a fairy tale. And he worries that this is not happening. Now imagine yourself as an adult, next to a small one. Take yourself on the handles or by the hand. Tell your little one that you will take care of her and your common dream. Ask little Nargiz to help you choose a man who will love you sincerely. And always remember this little girl inside you. Naive and sincere. You need to protect her from those who do not share her faith. And see the real reality, act wisely. Strive to create a relationship with a man who will have mutual feelings for you, who will also love you. I also see in your words doubts about your own opinion and a strong influence of attitudes and opinions of your parents on your life. If you want to improve the quality of your life, better understand yourself, feel confident in yourself and feel the right to live the way you see fit, sign up for personal consultations. I will be glad to help you. And I would also like to say that love is development, it is work for the soul. Let that bright seed that you carry in your soul grow into a strong tree of family happiness, full of love and respect. And for this you will have to work hard. Good luck to you. P.s.: By the way, what is your favorite childhood fairy tale? We often unconsciously re-live the scenarios that impressed us the most in childhood. And these can be scripts from favorite fairy tales, merged with the scripts of our parents, our family. And I will definitely write an article about this in the near future.

Sincerely, Irina Potemkina.

Love, of course, exists. Everyone understands differently what love is.

And yet - love is different:

Love for parents
love for a teacher who becomes a mentor and adviser for a person in the main questions about life;
and finally, love to my.

With the first three points, I think everything is clear.

But love for the opposite sex - is it love? Or is it just habit or attachment?

The question is ambiguous, as, however, and the answer to this question. Each couple, each love story is individual.

Someone, at the beginning of a relationship, "drowns", blinded by love, forgets about everything in the world, soars in the clouds, seeing nothing in front of him, except for the object of his adoration;
Someone soberly builds relationships, weighing every step and every word, but never knowing love as such.

Here another question arises. Unclear, which of these two couples is happier : the one that at the beginning of the relationship is given to impulses of passion, or the one that acts "at the behest" of the mind.

Love-match

Again, it is not a fact that the feelings that take hold in the first case are love. Rather, passion, and then, after a while, passions subside, life remains, children, common sense returns, and it’s good if, in addition to feelings, there are also common points of intersection, common interests. Indeed, often a person is not aware of his actions, it is like a veil before his eyes, and when the eyes are "cleared", it is already too late, and the couple either breaks up or remains to coexist with each other. There is no longer any talk of love. They don't even have anything to talk about. This is the truth of life. As a result -, the search for happiness at another pier.

Marriage based on sober choice

The second pair, given by me in the example, can get along well together. Measured relationships, planning children, respect for each other, affection - maybe sooner or later this will just become true love? In such a union, both a man and a woman cannot imagine their lives without each other, they have something to talk about, they speak the "same language", which cannot be said about the couple from the first example.

The topic voiced in the question can be developed for a very long time. Love in my mind - this is when you see a person, no matter how much time has passed since the beginning of the relationship - the heart begins to beat tremblingly, there is a kind of surge of emotions. With this person you want to spend all your free time, not leaving him for a moment. Honestly, I have not met in my environment such couples who, after 10-20-30 years of marriage, experience such feelings towards each other. At the same time, I don’t deny the existence of love, of course, it exists, but not everyone manages to find it.

We are all looking for love. And entering into a relationship with a person, experiencing some strong feelings towards him, we think that we love. If these relationships often hurt us, we get the idea that love is a torment, almost a disease.

Indeed, your relationship may be sick. Only, most likely, their correct name is not “love”, but “addiction”.

The manifestation of dependence in relationships

Relationship addiction is a constant concentration of thoughts on the “beloved” person and dependence on this person. Relationships of dependence largely determine the emotional, physical state of a person, his performance and relationships with other people. That is, in fact, the whole life of an addicted person is determined by these relationships. And these relationships affect life in a far from good way. They make a person more unhappy than happy.

But, not being completely happy in solitude, it was with these relationships that a person linked his hope for happiness! He hoped that all his mental suffering, self-doubt, all his complexes would be cured by love. And at first, perhaps, it seemed that it happened. But this feeling did not last long. Conflicts, misunderstandings, dissatisfaction with the object of "love" and with oneself began. Without noticing it, a person suffers even more than he suffered alone, and there is an inevitable separation and a new big pain ahead ...

Why does this happen to a certain person, and history repeats itself in every new relationship?

This happens because this person at this stage of his life is addicted.

They met at school, in high school, dreamed of getting married. After school, they began to live in a “civil marriage”. He became everything to her. She loved to draw and did it well, she wanted to be a designer. But she didn’t go anywhere - she had to concentrate and prepare, and this would distract her from him. After all, he is the main thing in her life, He is the purpose and meaning of her life, she lives for him. I went to work - after all, they both had to live on something. He entered a prestigious university. So they lived for seven years - she worked, he studied at the university, then somewhere else. She took care of him, provided him with the greatest possible comfort, and in this she saw the meaning of her life. He studied, found a good paying job and left it a month later. For her, it was like a bolt from the blue - because everything was so good! Then there was an unsuccessful suicide attempt. She was rescued. After being discharged from the hospital, life became gray, unnecessary, worthless - after all, he was not in it. Everything ended well, but not immediately. It was a long journey, but having lost it, she eventually gained faith and herself ...

The essence of the dependency relationship is that the dependent person feels inferior, he needs to fill himself with the Other, for him it is a matter of life and death. He is ready to endure any attitude towards himself, just not to be rejected, just not to be left alone. Love in a dependent relationship is a way to compensate for one's own insufficiency, and the spouse is an object that is designed to complement this insufficiency to a whole Self.

"I don't feel like I'm alive when I'm not in love with him (her)."

"I don't feel like a complete person without him (her)." That's what addicts say.

But this method never reaches the goal, because it cannot reach it in principle. Dependency relationships are different insatiability. The task of filling oneself with the help of another person is impossible, because inner integrity, fullness can be achieved only as a result of the development of intrapersonal resources, as a result of the development of a personal connection with God. Putting another person in the place of God and serving him to self-forgetfulness does not relieve one's own insufficiency. No wonder the Bible says: Do not make yourself an idol". Addiction is a rejection of oneself and of God.

In such relations, the psychological territory of one person is absorbed by the psychological territory of another, losing its sovereignty. A person does not live his own life, but the life of his “beloved”. At the same time, there is almost no space left for the free development of the individual.

But the unceasing and obligatory development of the personality is the duty of man. God gives a person unique abilities that distinguish him from all other subjects and, with their development, create a “symphony”: a whole, high society of people complementing each other. To develop in oneself and correctly use these abilities - talents - a person's duty to God, himself and his loved ones.

Addicts often say: “I live only for him”, “I did everything for him”. At the same time, they do not understand that another does not need such a sacrifice, it does not satisfy his spiritual needs, since this is not caused by love, but by the desire to be loved (beloved).

In dependent relationships, there is no real closeness of the spouses, there is no real trust. At the same time, relationships can be very emotionally saturated, which can be mistaken for love: “Jealous means love.” In dependent relationships, people use each other to satisfy their unconscious needs, acting out the distortions of their soul. But these needs remain unmet. As a rule, dependent relationships develop according to several scenarios.

1. Renunciation of one's own sovereignty and dissolution of one's psychological territory in the partner's territory. A person lives completely in the interests of a partner - "I exist in order to fulfill his (her) desires." The partner is also fully responsible for his life. Together with it, a person gives up his desires, goals, aspirations. In this case, "beloved" plays the role of a parent.

2. Absorption of the partner's psychological territory, deprivation of his sovereignty. In this case, the role of the parent is played by the seeker of love himself. He leads the partner and controls him in the same way as they do in relation to the child. It is based on “good” motives - “he (she) cannot cope without me, he (she) will not survive without me, I know how it should be, I live for him (her)”. Responsibility for the life of the "beloved" is fully assumed.

3. Absolute possession and destruction of the psychological territory of the object of love. Complete power over a partner as over a thing allows you to feel strong and significant. Responsibility for the partner's life is declared, but not carried out - the partner is only used. It tests one's own ability to dominate, control, manage not only actions, but also feelings.

4. Reflection in the "beloved". A partner is chosen who will always show that I am an extraordinary person. He must admire me, express his love to me, seek to satisfy all my desires, every day seek my favor. He must prove that I am better than others and worthy of love. If the partner has ceased to serve as a "mirror" - another partner is sought.

In all these models there is no place for true intimacy, responsibility, love.

Causes of emotional dependence.

Now let's look at the causes of emotional dependence.

They are rooted in deep childhood. When a child is born, he is in a dependent relationship with his mother. Nature has provided for a symbiotic relationship between mother and child, in which they do not feel separate from each other. It is a gift from nature that guarantees the baby the care he needs, the feeling of protection and trust. This stage lasts until about 9 months, until the child begins to crawl and stand on his feet. The most important task of the period of dependence between mother and child is the establishment of an emotional connection, which serves as the basis for the child's trust in the world and its development. Children who fully lived through this stage, had a good emotional connection with their parents, received enough love and care, are not afraid to explore the world, easily approach other people, are receptive and open to learning.

If some kind of failure occurred at this stage of development, for example, the mother was distant, there was a tense situation in the family, a boy was expected, but a girl was born, etc., and a close emotional connection between mother and child was not established, the child does not there will be a sense of security. Such children are afraid of the world around them and changes. They approach other people in a shy and wary manner, making it difficult for them to explore the unknown. Such children are, as it were, "attached" to their parents. The lack of love, attention and care makes them vulnerable and "glued" to their parents, and in the future dependent on other people.

The more fully the child unites with mother and father during the first days and months of life, the easier it will be for him and his parents to successfully carry out the process of separation later. And this process is necessary for the development of a full-fledged personality. This is the next stage in the development of the child.

During the next period of development, which peaks at 18-36 months, the main task of development is separation. The child has an incentive to explore the world and separate ("I want to do this myself"). At this stage, the child needs to hear “yes” twice as often as “no”. The environment must be accessible for exploration and safe. The parent must be there, physically and emotionally present, providing security and support, but not limiting the exploratory impulse. The child needs to feel that he myself something can, that he is valuable and important for his parents, and the fruits of his activity are also important and valuable. It is important for a child to feel that even if the parent is not around now, they still love him and the parent will return. All these conditions are necessary so that later, in an adult state, a person feels full, respects himself and others, knows how to enter into deep emotional contact with other people, and is active and responsible in life.

If the development went differently, the psychological birth of a child will not occur. He will “get bogged down” in a dependent relationship with his parents (more often with his mother), he will experience increased anxiety, the world will be scary for him, the exploratory impulse will be reduced. It will be difficult for him to build warm relations with people, everything will be poisoned by fear and distrust. As an adult, he will become stronger in the idea that not everything is in order with him. He will not feel like a separate person, able to take care of himself, responsible for his actions. The relationships that such a person will enter into will be dependent to one degree or another, i.e. not free. They will be forced, necessary for survival, motivated by the fear of life.

At this stage, development does not end, and a person during the period of growth goes through other stages of development, during which early injuries can be healed. But if the cure does not happen, then the adult will enter into dependent relationships with other people.

If a person's need to receive love and care was not satisfied in childhood, then psychological separation from parents did not occur. Relationships with parents can be negative, can be emotionally withdrawn, can be overly dependent - these are all signs of non-separation. An unseparated person with an unsatisfied need for love and acceptance will "stick" to relationships with other people. The basis of dependent relationships is fear of life, self-doubt, a sense of inferiority, increased anxiety. The search for love will be an obsessive need, a condition for survival. The anxiety and instability that a person will experience due to the continuous internal conflict between the need to receive love and the certainty that he is not worth it makes his desire to receive the love of another person and fill his Self with him the main and obsessive goal of existence.

Comparing addiction and love

Here is a true love story.

5 years after baptism, the Lord gave me a gift - I met my soul mate, my man from God. It is impossible to confuse it with anything - there was practically no passion in these relations, but there was warmth, light, freedom. In these relationships, I became freer than alone. My fears, which I always had a lot, are gone, the world has become much brighter. The people with whom I then spoke said that warmth came from me. And yet, I felt the flow of Divine energy pouring over me. He felt the same. I felt God in my soul, not just believed, I felt Him, His presence. I felt that I was in the will of God - and this is happiness. Surprisingly calm happiness, without passions. This is some kind of strength, confidence and knowledge, exact knowledge - what is God's will and what is not, and more is not needed. Relations with her husband were amazing - no words were needed to explain himself - he felt everything without words. There was a feeling of such inner resonance, such unconditional acceptance. And here the concept of the family as a church was fully realized. So it was, the presence of God was very tangible by both. True, I do not know why I was given such a gift, what I deserved. But then this man passed away. And what is surprising - there was no tragedy, there was no emptiness, there was gratitude for this experience and confidence in the meeting. I didn’t experience devastation after parting, the state of God’s presence remained, the sensations of the flow of Divine energy and clarity remained.

What is the difference between addiction and love?

To establish a deep emotional connection with another person is possible only by gaining psychological autonomy. These relationships are distinguished by the feeling of joy that pours out on others from such a couple and freedom. The motivation for entering into such a relationship is love. A deep sense of partner, cooperation and trust distinguishes such relationships.

Respect for one's own and others' borders, for one's own and others' interests and needs is a feature of such relations. Mature love says, “I will do everything in my power to help you reach your optimal potential, even if it means sometimes you have to be away from me and do things without me.” In a mature relationship, there is always a lot of space left to meet your own needs, to achieve your own goals and individual growth. In such relationships, there is always room for God.

True love is not possessive love, it respects and admires a partner, and does not use him to satisfy her needs. In a dependent relationship, the partner is perceived as property.

True love brings a sense of satisfaction and a sense of harmony in life. There is little anxiety and hostility in her. In dependent relationships there is no feeling of satisfaction and harmony, a lot of discontent and repressed anger, a lot of claims to each other.

Truly loving people are independent of each other, autonomous, not jealous, but at the same time they strive to help another person in self-realization, are proud of his victories, are generous and caring. Mature love says: "I can live without you, but I love you and therefore I want to be there." Addicts are fused with each other, each of them does not have a separate psychological territory. They are jealous, they are owners, they cannot live without each other - their relationship is forced.

For true love, the ability to give without asking for anything in return is an expression of power and abundance. Giving, a mature person gets pleasure, and this in itself is a compensation for his emotional, physical and material costs. A person who is inclined to create dependent relationships is focused on love-deal, love-exploitation. He cannot give without asking for anything in return, and having given, he feels used, devastated, deceived.

A mature, adult person knows a partner and realistically assesses his qualities. But at the same time, he appreciates him for who he is, and helps him grow and open up personally, helps for his own sake, and not for the sake of him serving him. The addict does not have a realistic view of the partner. He cannot accept a partner as he is, he seeks to educate him and remake him for himself.

A mature person respects his partner, his psychological territory, his psychological boundaries. Love is born in freedom and cannot exist in captivity. With an encroachment on freedom, it begins to disappear. In dependent relationships, psychological boundaries are violated, there is no respect for the partner and his psychological territory. The sprouts of love, if they were, wither.

Personal responsibility is an integral part of mature love. In a dependent relationship, either one's responsibility is transferred to the partner, or there is hyperresponsibility.

A spiritually mature person is ready to truly understand the other and accept him for who he is, with all his strengths and weaknesses.
A spiritually mature person wants to have a partner whom they can trust and confide in, sharing their thoughts and feelings, as well as needs and addictions. He wants to be with someone he can rely on and whom he can support.
A mature person strives for such a relationship in which both partners have the opportunity to fully reveal their individuality and live in love with each other. A spiritually mature person takes the personal growth and development of another person as seriously as he takes his own. He is ready and able to agree with the other and be his support, without renouncing his individuality and not allowing himself to be harmed.
A spiritually mature person is ready to be responsible for his own destiny and for the destiny of his partner.
A spiritually mature person knows that nothing lasts forever, and therefore relationships can end, but he also knows that this will not affect his responsibility and love in any way, and he is grateful for every day of his life.

From all of the above, it follows that love is a relationship of mature, psychologically mature and independent people. Every person, whatever his childhood, by working on himself, can overcome his tendency to addiction and learn to love truly.

Love between a man and a woman is a special feeling that not every person can feel. In order to know true love, you will have to constantly work on yourself and try to make your loved one happy, sometimes even to the detriment of your interests. However, this sacrifice must be reasonable. People often confuse true love and addiction. To avoid this and return the value system “in place”, deep inner work is required.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortuneteller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow..." Read more >>

What is true love

True love is rare, but it does exist. To create a harmonious "healthy" union, you need internal autonomy. Only two emotionally mature individuals can experience a true feeling that is not built on addiction.

Such couples are united not by possessive inclinations, but by the desire to give their partner freedom, to realize their dreams. They help each other without neglecting their lives. They can calmly maintain relationships at a distance, as they do not feel jealousy and do not want to make their loved one their property. And they also understand that for their own development they sometimes need to be away.

There are various situations: life can throw people to different ends of the planet to realize their plans. But in a healthy relationship, there are no barriers to this. Partners give without expecting servitude in return, admire and rejoice in mutual success. They are there not for the reason that it is necessary, but because they want it.

Love at first sight is not a feeling that can be considered a manifestation of true feelings. It is attraction and passion. However, there are couples who, on the basis of this, were able to build a harmonious union. They continue to admire each other further, but do not limit someone else's freedom and value personal boundaries (their own and their partner).

What distinguishes a mature union from a dependent relationship is the ability to perceive a person as he is. Partners see each other's shortcomings, but are able to enter into a dialogue and strive to help their beloved develop. Such couples tend to maintain warm, friendly relationships, even if they decide to leave. They are grateful for the time spent together and wish their loved one happiness.

True love is freedom. Limiting the personal boundaries of a person leads to the destruction of feelings and the development of dependence.

Signs of true love:

Partners accept a loved one with all the advantages and disadvantages, without trying to remake each other.
People are completely trusting, can calmly express their thoughts, feelings, share passions and communicate needs. They do not feel constrained in communication, they are confident in the support of their partner and are ready to become his support.
Lovers are serious about self-realization. They are ready to help and support a loved one on the way to goals, but without causing damage to their lives. Each of the members of the union strives for their own personal growth, without preventing the other from following his own path.
Such people know how to take responsibility. They know that the union is the ability to vouch for the fate of both partners.
Mature people are distinguished by the understanding that everything in life is transient. Relationships may end, but this should not affect the promises made. They retain a sense of responsibility and love, maintaining friendly contacts.

To achieve such a union, it is necessary to conduct a thorough work on yourself, your life and way of thinking. Only an emotionally mature person can, without crippling another person, create a couple. To do this, it is important to always follow your own path, do not forget about your own values, be able to accept a partner as he is, and calmly weed out those who are not able to accept.

false feeling

To characterize true love, you first need to figure out what it is not. Most couples tend to be addicted. This is an unpleasant psychological state characterized by a feeling of inner emptiness and one's own inferiority outside the relationship. Finding a partner becomes an obsession. The dependent person does not fall in love, but fills himself with the object of adoration.

Falling in love is often confused with addiction. You want to spend more time with your partner, and then a distortion of values gradually occurs. The existence of the object of adoration becomes more important than one's own. The lover seeks to please the partner, to make his life as comfortable as possible, forgetting about personal needs. Dependent Maybe give up your favorite pastime, career, dreams, just to satisfy your only one. This is the psychology of addiction. But the trap of such a situation is that the subject in question does not need such sacrifices.

If two dependent people meet, a so-called co-dependent relationship is formed. This trap is even more dangerous than the previous one. It is almost impossible to get out of it on your own. Feeling their inferiority in the absence of contact, partners cling to each other, although this interferes with the full development of each. In such couples, emotions are always seething, which are often confused with manifestations of true love:

jealousy;
the desire to patronize;
disregard for personal boundaries;
total control.

Toxic relationships develop in several scenarios. To avoid them, you should carefully observe your feelings. You need to understand that mutual feelings are different, but they should not hurt. If there is a painful tendency, it is anything, but definitely not love.

Dependency development options:

1. The addict completely dissolves in the partner. For him, his own boundaries and aspirations cease to exist. He gives up himself in the name of his beloved. In addition to complete dedication, such a person transfers to his beloved all responsibility for his life, entrusting him with the role of a parent.
2. The partner's boundaries are absorbed by the lover. He begins to control all his actions, to indicate how to act in certain situations. This is argued by the inability to independently cope with certain life circumstances, so the loved one is exposed as helpless.
3. Possession of a partner is a manifestation of abuse (psychological abuse). "In love" completely destroys the boundaries of the "beloved". He seeks not so much to care as to rule. His task becomes complete control over the life of another person, but the main actions are performed only in words. The manipulator tests his ability to influence the thoughts and emotions of another person.
4. The search for a reflection is another variant of the "skew" in the mind. The addict is looking for a partner who could convince him every day of his own exclusivity. He needs to have next to him not a person, but a “mirror-man”, in which he can constantly look and be convinced of his perfection.

Continuing to follow these scenarios, a person is looking for the perfect love all his life, but never finds it. The only way to break the cycle of repetitive events and disappointments is to sort out your own feelings and formulate a “healthy” idea of \u200b\u200bthe relationship. It is necessary to carefully monitor your thoughts in order to prevent a “skew” in consciousness again.

The story of one of our readers Alina R.:

Money has always been my main concern. Because of this, I had a lot of complexes. I considered myself a failure, problems at work and in my personal life haunted me. However, I decided that I still needed personal help. Sometimes it seems that the matter is in yourself, all failures are only a consequence of bad energy, the evil eye, or some other evil force.

There comes a time in everyone's life when doubts arise about love. Someone all his life claims that all this is fiction, and there really is no love, but for someone it is a mystery and a desire to understand oneself.

Actually there is Love, but there is love, and you must be well versed in the differences between these two concepts, so as not to make mistakes and not ruin your life. Many say that if you have experienced both of these feelings, then you are a happy person, let's deal with this in detail.

What is love?

you met a person opposite sex and lost their heads. You get goosebumps, your legs give way, and you are embarrassed to even speak. It seems that something has changed in this world, and that you no longer feel like a full-fledged person when there is no object of adoration nearby. You constantly want to be with him or her next to you, it seems that everything inside you is turning over, and even your attitude towards yourself is changing. You strive to please the person who caused you such feelings, with all your might.

For this you are ready change your habits, join a gym or visit a plastic surgeon. Psychologists say that you can maintain a feeling for a long time, but only if you rarely see each other, know each other little and are far away. Falling in love is like an emotional hurricane that blows you away and gives you a feeling of euphoria. It seems to you that life was divided into before and after you met this person. It is important to learn how to manage yourself so as not to do stupid things under the influence of hormones and acute feelings.

What is love?

Of course, it is important to understand that there is also Love which is very different from love. The person to whom we feel this feeling makes you want to take care and give your affection. You constantly want to be around, and separation seems like a real test. You can act quite deliberately and logically, feelings do not overshadow your mind. A loving person is ready to be kind not only to his soul mate, but also to others.

Who knew Love, differently relate to the feelings of other people, know how to show respect and compassion. Often love is transferred to the outside world, a person wants to smile at everyone and give the owl a great mood. Most often, love is the result of hard work on yourself and on your partner, the desire to change yourself for the sake of someone and learn to live in peace and understanding. To keep love, you need to work long and hard.

What is the difference between love and infatuation?

Modern People are regularly interested in the terms, definitions and scientific discoveries of psychologists, therefore they know a lot of theory, having a lack of practice. Many people know that love and falling in love are two different feelings, but few can say what their differences are. Love differs from falling in love with the stage of the relationship. It is impossible to immediately begin to love a person without having experienced love before. When you meet a person with whom you have a sympathy, first hormones kick in, your brain reacts sharply, everything seems new and unusual to you.

Often love reinforced by the realization that a person is a mystery to you, his body has not yet been explored, and his thoughts and actions cannot be predicted. After falling in love, love can come, but often this does not happen. You just enjoy a person, enjoy sex and communication with him, and then you realize that nothing binds you, and there is no point in being together further. If people are suitable for each other, then after falling in love, love appears, and they understand that they are destined to be together. It should be understood that these feelings are very different, they should not be confused.

What mistakes do people make when they confuse love with falling in love?

If not on time realize that this is not love, but simple love, then you can make a mistake in your actions. For example, getting married or marrying a person when you just have an emotional upsurge. Many people, succumbing to the acute feeling of falling in love, run to apply for marriage, but they do not even think about how temporary it is. It seems to them that they will have such passionate sex every day, and a person will forever remain an interesting unsolved mystery. But after a certain time, falling in love goes away, and whether love will replace it or not is a question. Also, during a period of heightened feelings, many renounce friends, spend all the time with their other half and are ready to change the environment, stop communicating with their parents, etc.