Now I don't need you either. Do you remember how beautifully you sewed guys off? So I don't need you now

Hello! Last year I started a relationship with an older man (I'm 26, he's 43). He told me that he had not had a relationship with such a big age difference and he was worried about this, he did not believe that something would work out. I replied that if he was not sure, then it was better to break off the relationship now, otherwise it would be more painful later. He said that I was dear to him and he did not want to lose me. He also said that he has a chronic autoimmune disease, but he has been in remission for a couple of years.
In the fall, it became difficult for him to make contact, his illness, which progressed, was to blame. He said he didn't want to lose me. I replied that we will overcome these difficulties together. This was followed by two months of correspondence at night, meetings when he could not walk 200 meters, because his legs gave way and the lack of intimacy.
When the medicine worked and he returned to normal, thanks to social networks, I find out that there is another girl in his life, my age. I can't control my emotions and can't stop watching her: when I see her mentioning him, my hands tremble, my heart beats faster, and my ears hum. I write him mixed up very offensive things, accusing him of infidelity and lies, then I say how much I love him and am ready to forgive him. We continue to meet with him, but already without intimacy, he says that what I do is stalking, he is a free man and he is not my boyfriend, we are just people close to each other. Communication only brings me pain and I often cry, it’s hard for me to survive the fact that he found a replacement for me (who, moreover, is my age), which I repeatedly tell him and ask him to block me in all social networks, since I myself I don’t dare to do it completely (I’m blocking, after some time I want to write to him again and write again). He refuses to do this, says that there are no serious relationships with anyone in his life, that he has no intention of excluding me from his life, he simply does not need women, but only health and money. After months of my constant requests to block me, he finally does it when he is with a temperature, and I continue to sort things out.
When I discovered that they were together, my condition worsened significantly - I ate little, because I felt sick at the sight of food and lost a lot of weight, my sleep was also disturbed, I woke up in the middle of the night and checked their pages. I don’t know what to do with myself now, until recently, being busy at work and studying at the same time helped me, but now quarantine and I was left at home alone with my thoughts. I keep comparing myself to this girl endlessly. The topic of intimacy wedges me the most, I got it into my head that she is better than me in this and therefore he is no longer interested in me sexually, and she also has larger breasts. I don’t know how to go on, how to let go of the past and start living, how to get rid of this love addiction and stop following him and this girl.
Thanks in advance for your help!

One brutal story

"... Once she opened up that as a child, a drunk man stuck to her at the station. So she hit his knee with a boot and ran away. She was proud that she always knew how to besiege guys who made obscene proposals. Or joyfully shared with her friends how she "took away" another pick-up artist with some tricky phrase. How beautifully she upset annoying suitors, however, sometimes accepting gifts and declarations of love. Or how she refused to go on a date, having learned that the gentleman was deceiving about the presence of his car ...

(You are reading an excerpt from the story of one client, published with his permission)

... Yes, from childhood she was distinguished by beauty and some kind of otherworldliness, which attracted strong attention of the opposite sex to her. Numerous attempts by guys to start a relationship with her were broken by the fact that she "does not exchange for trifles."

I made the same attempts. It was insulting and it is not clear why she refused. I don’t understand what goes on in the head of girls up to a certain age. But when they reach that age when "it's time", they look around and ping those guys who were previously rejected. So she started by sending holiday greetings and funny pictures in the messenger.

Perhaps I am too vindictive and rejoice in the misfortune of another person? I did not think that I was so malevolent, but I was sincerely delighted when I noticed her interest. I have not thought about it for a long time and lived my own business. Didn't even remember. It turned out that I still had a strong resentment for her long-standing refusal to start a relationship. And I decided to play with her. Still, sometimes there is universal justice when people have to experience the same thing that they caused others. She has to suffer..."

The letter is long, I will say it briefly. Further, he describes how he reassured the girl with vague phrases. Somewhere not finishing, somewhere ambiguously assuring that everything will be fine, somewhere presenting himself in a favorable light and talking about a good attitude towards her. He was in no hurry with meetings and fed her with the phrases: "Let's see!", "Let me think!", "Be sure to see you!" Now she (like he himself had once) thought about him almost all the time. Now she (like he himself once) took the initiative and once could not stand it, she herself started a conversation about what she wanted to be with him. The story isn't over yet. So far, he has responded evasively. The guy has not yet been satisfied and plans to involve her as much as possible in dreams of a future relationship, and then he will tell her everything he thinks about girls who can arrogantly take the attention of guys, but have not learned something important, without which it is impossible to build a warm relationship .

A very typical story, I must say. Although, most girls are not hopeless in their arrogance, which often happens before a certain age. But it goes away with age.

As an illustration for the post, one could post a photo of a girl who is already behind ... surrounded by cats telling her: "Do you remember how beautifully you sent guys off!"

A guy fell in love with me, but I didn’t like him, I refused him, but he said that he would love me anyway. And then we temporarily did not communicate and it became hard for me without him, I began to think about him and then my heart began to play and I realized that I love him. And now I don’t know whether to admit it to him or not, suddenly he stopped loving me. What to do.

It all started with the fact that he was praised at the institute and set as an example to the guys, I looked at him and from that moment I began to like him, then I remembered how he gave me gifts from the bottom of his heart, he always said how much he loves me, wrote sms, made me happy, called more often helped by any business, and even when I was guilty of something in front of him, he never took offense and it was easy for me to communicate with him and it was fun. I understood that there were few people like him, but what was my fault that I didn’t love him then. And now I understand that it’s hard for me without him, I’m already used to him, but even now he constantly looks at me, but his face is longing, and his eyes are beautiful but sad, and before that he always smiled at me. He also asks how I'm doing, but still he worries, probably helps me in the same way, and also stands up for me in a difficult situation for me, but he doesn't text me and doesn't call, probably doesn't want to think that he is indifferent to me. but I began to look at him more often in his direction, I began to tell him how good and kind he was, then I always smiled at him and I also clung to him once, he hugged me so tightly, but now I don’t know if he stopped loving me or not, I would like that He still loved me and would have hugged me tightly. How do you think he should confess?