How to get married. Matchmaking by the groom: what to say to the matchmakers, what to take with you? A modern cool scenario of the bride's matchmaking from the side of the groom: words for the groom, the groom's parents, matchmakers, lyrics, ditties, poems, toasts, funny songs

Almost everyone knows that matchmaking is a custom that has come from ancient times. For a while, the tradition began to fade into oblivion, to be forgotten.

And now ... as if by magic, the ceremony again began not only to revive, but also to shine with new colors and modulations.

Previously, the girl found out that they wanted to marry her just when matchmakers appeared on the threshold of the house, that is, they came to woo. Everything was very unexpected. Now a surprise can quarrel the young, it is better to set a time convenient for everyone and carefully prepare for the matchmaking in advance.

And although this is an optional part of the pre-wedding events, but it is matchmaking that will allow future spouses to introduce relatives, get the approval of their parents, besides, matchmaking is a good opportunity to outline wedding plans, and just make friends.

The first visit is made by the groom's parents to the bride's house. The period from matchmaking to the scheduled date of the wedding can vary from one month to a year. Who is more comfortable.
Then the visit has the opposite character - to the bride's family. There, the details of the upcoming wedding ceremony are discussed in more detail.

It is believed that the more fun the matchmaking is, the fewer flaws there will be at the wedding and the young will not quarrel. Therefore, you should prepare in advance for the planned day and spend it with positive, jokes, and jokes.

We offer you two scenarios of matchmaking by the groom, which will help set the pace for the beginning of the family relationship of the young and the friendship of the parents.

Matchmaking scenarios

Scenario No. 1 "In the old way"

If you decide to arrange a matchmaking, then it is better to give the main role in the ceremony to the representatives of the groom- his friends or relatives.

If there is no matchmaker, then the main matchmaker is a close relative of the groom - father, uncle or godfather. But still, the presence of a professional matchmaker will provide the evening with the right pace, atmosphere and flavor. After all, matchmaking is, first of all, a fun and joyful event.

If the matchmakers decided to follow the old traditions as much as possible, then the speech of the matchmaker should be filled with jokes and proverbs.

The task of the matchmakers and the matchmaker is to amuse and entertain all those gathered with jokes and interesting stories, while learning as much as possible about the bride, about her thriftiness, character and disposition.

An exemplary scenario for conducting matchmaking "antique" may look like this.

Greetings

Matchmakers enter the house, present a gift to the bride's parents. The matchmaker tells why such a delegation came, for what purpose. Traditionally in the scenario of Russian matchmaking, this speech begins with the words “You have goods, we have a merchant ...”

Tests for the bride and groom

Matchmaker:

Girl, beauty! You have long hair, a wasp waist, velvet eyes, but how housey are you? Aren't you breeding nurses when you get to work? Now we will check this. Come on, take a broom and let us see if you make a good wife ...

The bride is invited to sweep the scattered coins onto the scoop. When the girl completes the proposed task, you can proceed to the consent ceremony. The groom must pass his tests in order to redeem the bride. To do this, you can offer him to solve riddles.

Examples of riddles:

What in the world is more precious than all the diamonds? (Bride)
Where will you always be rich? (In the house, next to your beloved)
What's the sweetest thing? (Kisses to the beloved)
What is the most powerful thing in the world? (Love)
How rich will you be in 5 years? (A bunch of kids)

In the scenario of modern matchmaking, you can include quotes from well-known films, books, cartoons.

consent ceremony

Matchmaker:

Here is the smart one! Have you seen the hosts? Your girl is what you need! A real hostess, to be sure. My radiant one, answer me, do you agree to marry this good fellow?

After the girl agrees with a nod of her head or an affirmative answer, she is presented with a pie or cake, which she cuts into four parts. The incisions are made in the shape of a cross.

Matchmaker:

If you agree, then cut the loaf into pieces according to the number of cardinal points, and then treat all the guests. But who will you give a piece to first? Maybe to her fiancé, or to his mother?

The first piece is desirable to present to parents, then treat the guests, and leave the last one for the bride and groom. The groom's father says: “Son, now this is your bride. May your union be blessed."

Completion of the official part

Parents bless children, read a prayer or say bright parting words. Then the groom puts a ring on the finger of his beloved girl and everyone sits down at the table to continue the evening.

There should be honey and a good tincture on the table. One of the guests is presented with a symbolically important gift for the young - a fruit tree.

Before presenting such a gift, you need to ask the young people who they want: a son or a daughter. If a son, then the tree must be masculine, for example, a walnut. For the speedy appearance of a girl, you need to give a cherry, apple tree or pear.

At this solemn moment, you can wish happiness to those in love and congratulate them on the next stage on the way to a wedding and a long life together. Then the official part ends, and the feast and fun continues at the discretion of the matchmaker and relatives on both sides.

You can entertain guests by spending competition for young people "What will I do?". Answers are prepared in advance:

I will wash the dishes;
I will repair the refrigerator;
I will spend in front of the mirror every day for an hour;
I will paint my nails;
I will wash the floors;
I will cook pizza;
I will take care of a pet;
I will monitor the operation of the appliances in the house.

Answer options to be printed and place each on a separate sheet.

The task of the bride and groom is to pull the leaves in turn and read out their missions, as well as promise each other their indispensable fulfillment.

It turns out especially funny when a man pulls out the duties intended for the hostess of the house, and vice versa.

You can invite guests to the game.

Scenario No. 2 "Wooing the bride in a classic style"

From the side of the bride, close cheerful relatives, sisters, girlfriends should be invited.

From the side of the groom, you should definitely choose a matchmaker and a matchmaker. These people can also be relatives or friends of the parents.

In the old days they said that the matchmaker and the matchmaker should not be too young, and it is better if they are talkative and lively, especially the matchmaker.

Actors (from the side of the groom): Groom, mother of the groom, father of the groom, brother of the groom, Matchmaker, Matchmaker.

Actors (from the side of the bride): Bride, Mother of the bride, Father of the bride, little girl (sister), grandmother and aunt.

Cloth: Wear an embroidered shirt for the groom and an appliqué dress for the bride. Tie a ribbon over the shoulder to the belt for the matchmaker and matchmaker (you can tie it with a long towel, as in the old days). Now badges with the names "matchmaker" and "matchmaker" have appeared on sale.

Details from the groom: Flowers - for the mother of the bride, the bride, if she has a younger sister, give her a chocolate bar or a box of chocolates. To the father of the bride - a good bottle of alcohol. Basket with treats: drinks, sweets, fruits. Ring for the bride.

Details from the bride: wooden block, nail and hammer; a set table, a prepared presentation on the topic “Though you can go around half the world, you won’t find better (name of the bride)!”, A prepared technique for viewing the presentation (or slide show). Gifts for matchmakers, parents of the groom. Planted money tree. Big pumpkin.

Decor

A room is being arranged in front of the bride's apartment. Posters: Traders and merchants here! For the very best! We are waiting for the generous and cheerful! On the door to the room where the Bride Factory is being tested. On the door to the room where the feast is taking place “We take bread and salt, we call to feast!”

Matchmaking process

Part 1

The groom's delegation, armed with flowers, treats, drinks and good mood, knock on the door. In the hands of the matchmaker is bread and salt.

mother of the bride: Who is knocking so loudly?

Matchmaker: The merchants have come. Open doors. Show product! (mother of the bride opens).

Matchmaker with matchmaker: We are noble merchants, who have seen a lot, traveled beautiful places, looking for a curiosity. We heard that your goods are of high quality, unprecedented and to all people a feast for the eyes. We want to see...

Mother: Yes, in order to show all the goods, time is needed ...

Matchmaker: And we do not need all the goods. We are looking for outlandish. After all, our merchant is unusual: handsome, generous, rich and educated. He doesn't need "whatever". Yes, see for yourself! (The groom comes forward, holds out flowers to the mother of the bride, a bottle to his father).

Mother: And really generous! (takes flowers and a bottle). But our product is unusual: we have a factory of brides! We sell brides only in good hands. And in order to find a bride, we must check how hard-working, smart and cheerful your merchant is. And there we’ll pick a bride to match him! Well, aunts, let's test the fellow!

The groom is invited to the testing room.

Trial 1

Aunt: Our bride must be brought into the house. Do you have? Well, it doesn't matter if it isn't! Let's see if you can build a house! Drive a nail into the threshold!

Brings a block, a large nail and a hammer. The groom hammers a nail.

Trial 2

Aunt: It is necessary to feed the bride correctly. What will you feed?

The groom should name the bride's favorite delicacies and give the brought basket of fruits and treats.

Aunt: Indeed, the merchant is good!

Trial 3

Aunt: Well, what words will you call her?

The groom calls affectionate words.

Trial 4

Aunt: I see that you are really looking for an unusual product. Came to the address! Right! You will find a bride for yourself in our factory! Just describe what you want!

Groom: Beautiful, tender ...

Aunt: Oh, yes, we have one! Well, bring the bride!

A little girl comes into the room (you can dress up a little boy, the bride's brother, for example, as a girl).

Girl: Hello, (groom's name). Marry me. I will sing songs to you every day.

Aunt: Well, the bride suits you. Look how pretty and how pretty! Delicate, just the way I wanted it! Are you taking goods?

Groom: The goods are good, but still green, let them keep up.

Matchmaker: Well, let's show us the bride, so that she was cheerful, she could not only sing songs, but she managed to cheer, console ...

A disguised man is taken out (a wig, a false chest, an apron, a saucepan in his hands).

Disguised man: Hello, (groom's name)! I sat in the girls for a long time. I want to get married! Look at me carefully. Beautiful, tender... I will take care of you, I will console you... I will feed you borscht, I will cook dumplings... And look at my figure... All the men "break their eyes." Well, are you taking me?

Groom: Painfully you are good ... I'm afraid they will take you away from me. Too unreliable...

Matchmaker: Certainly an unreliable girl. Although she knows how to cook, her eyes are painfully playful ... Bring us a smart, wise, but calm one!

Aunt: Well, if you want smart and calm. We also have one. Look!

Grandma comes in. Knitted socks in hand.

Grandmother: I don’t sleep all night, I work ... Here you are, dear (groom’s name), I knitted socks. Are you taking me?

Groom: A good bride, but not mine. Mine floats like a swan. Look into your eyes, so the whole world will shine. And he will smile that he will bestow good.

Matchmaker: Find us so that everything is in it: both youth, and beauty, and intelligence, and kindness. And to be graceful and easy. To be affectionate and to love our young man!

Aunt: We have one. We're saving it for a special merchant. Yes, you can see this is your (groom's name).
She is dear to us. Unusual. See for yourself!

A slide show is shown.

Long before the matchmaking, you need to photograph the bride from different angles and prepare a presentation on the topic that the bride is the best. For example: reads a book, writes a letter, washes dishes, bakes a cake, cooks borscht, does laundry, irons, embroiders, draws, sings, waters flowers, washes floors, vacuums, plays with a younger sister.

Everyone in the audience is overjoyed.

Groom: This bride is sweet to me. I want such a wife!

Aunt: Guess her name, I'll show you!

The groom calls. The bride comes out. Everyone applauds. The groom gives flowers and puts an engagement ring on the bride's finger. Gives a kiss.

mother of the bride: Well, matchmakers, come to the table!

The mother takes the loaf, carries it and puts it in the center of the table. Everyone sits down at the table.

Part 2

Matchmaker: We are glad that we agreed with you on the goods, Let's drink for our deal! Swat pours drinks (drink, snack).

Matchmaker: Well, fiancé, change me for once! Show me how to pour. And you, the bride, strip the loaf for everyone. The groom pours everyone glasses and glasses. The bride is invited to cut the loaf, or break it so that everyone has enough, but there are fewer crumbs left.

Here you can hold a small competition for the bride.

The bridegroom asks the bride questions:

***
When washing floors, where should you try harder: in the corners or in the center? (correct answer: you need to wash everywhere well and in the corners and in the middle of the floor).

***
When your husband comes home hungry, will you serve a plate? (correct answer: I will serve food in a plate).

***
How much rice do you put in borsch: one spoon or one glass? (You need to answer: they don’t put rice in borsch at all!).

***
The husband, tired from work, will come, what task will you give first? (A tired one will come from work. You need to prepare a bath, set the table. Feed and put to bed. Discuss all questions in the morning.)

Svatya: And what is the dowry of the bride? Tell us more details!

Mother and father are talking. You can touch on the issue of cohabitation - specify in detail where the young people will live.

Matchmaker: Let's drink, so that our couple will make a cozy nest for themselves!

Groom's Parents tells about what son was small, how he grew up, where he studied, what he achieved. What goals does he set, what does he like to do?

Bride's parents they remember everything about their daughter, praising her. Praise the bride is a must. Tell how little you were and how old you were. Where she studied, how she developed and grew up such a beauty that she loves, what she lives with, what good qualities her parents laid down ...

After talking about the bride and groom, the matchmaker asks the groom what the bride's parents will be called.

After the toast to the bride, a similar question is asked to her. (If the couple is undecided and cannot name "mom and dad" new parents, they are given this task until the next meeting).

There are also toasts to parents.

First, the groom's parents tell about themselves, and then the bride's. Swat pays attention to the issue of "accepting new children" into the family. He asks: will they call him daughter and son, how will they love.

At the end of the feast, the bride's relatives take the floor.

Aunt: We give the daughter-in-law a pillow so that she loves her husband like a darling!
Gives an original anti-stress pillow.

We give our husband a hammer so that there is an excellent income. So that they always knocked and received a big salary!
The father-in-law needs to be wise, we want to give him a mallet. The father-in-law is the most important in the family, so he needs to be able to judge everyone correctly, and this gift will help him in this.
The gift is a wooden mallet.

Dear mother-in-law, we give wise aphorisms. Where you need to teach your daughter-in-law, you can speak with a word. And you will find a boring word in this book!
A gift-book "Wise Sayings" is given.

Mother: It can be seen that our deal took place, we want, on this occasion, to present gifts for good luck to our matchmakers.
We give a barrel of honey to a dear matchmaker (honey is handed), so that you drink our honey, speak sweetly!
Well, and dear matchmaker, an expensive self-assembly tablecloth, so that you always smile sweetly, and there were a lot of treats on the tablecloth!

Toasts are made for the matchmakers.

Matchmakers: Thank you all for your kind words. We are glad that we did not try in vain. We've got a good couple. As the saying goes: For a daring merchant and a bride anywhere!
Tell me, father-in-law, is the bride dear to you for your son? So, kiss her on both cheeks! (The groom's father kisses the bride).
Tell your father-in-law, did you like our fiancé? (The father-in-law answers). Then join the hands of the young, let them marry!

Aunt: Well, we want to give the young people a money tree. You water it, never know problems in money!
Well, we’ll leave the pumpkin for ourselves, we’ll cook noble porridge from it. Next time we will invite you to porridge and talk about our young people!
(Everyone remembers the custom of their ancestors: if the matchmaking did not take place and the groom did not like it, they gave a pumpkin).

At this, the bride's parents see off the guests.

Don't forget about "fun matchmaking". Improvise and play along. Be sure to take pictures and video for the story of the new family. And further! It is said that our ancestors avoided the number thirteen. Therefore, they don’t go to get married on the 13th. It is better to plan a celebration for the weekend. And there is a lot of time and the next day you can “rest”.

How to prepare for marriage

As a rule, matchmaking has a purely nominal value, because the young have already decided everything. The main task of the ceremony is to introduce parents and relatives, to discuss important moments of a future wedding.

Present. The groom should give flowers to the future mother-in-law and the future bride, and the bouquet of the mother-in-law should be larger and richer, thereby showing respect for the mother of his chosen one. You can present the father of the bride with a bottle of expensive alcohol or some necessary and memorable trifle in accordance with his hobbies. It should be noted that traditionally the groom came to the matchmaking without expensive gifts, therefore purely symbolic flowers and alcohol may suffice.
Determine the main matchmakers. Among the “gang” of the groom, there should be the most lively, sociable and cheerful person who would lead the matchmaking process. After all, it is the groom and relatives in this case that are the active side. Ideally, if it will be one of the older relatives, but it may also be a friend of the groom or a brother. It is the chief matchmaker who should praise the groom, describe to the bride's relatives his positive qualities, wealth, the seriousness of his intentions and other virtues.
own speech. The groom is the main character in the matchmaking. The key moment of the action is his words addressed to the bride's parents when he asks them for her hand. These words, of course, must be prepared in advance and, possibly, rehearsed.

When the bride's parents place her hand in the groom's hand, which will mean their consent to marriage, the matchmaking will move on to a feast and talk about the upcoming wedding.

We must not forget that the main thing for which everyone gathered is “building bridges”, getting to know the next of kin, demonstrating the seriousness of intentions.

And even if the matchmaking is organized purely symbolically, take the choice of the scenario for its conduct with all seriousness, because this fun event will be one of the brightest moments in creating a new family.

Do you want to give your bride an unforgettable gift? Find out what modern girls prefer.

On which hand should a wedding ring be worn and why? In an interesting one, we answer this question.

Today, few people observe wedding ceremonies, and in vain. The folk rite of matchmaking is very colorful and filled with fun, so it can be the highlight of a wedding. The matchmaking scenario can be completely different, it all depends on your desires and preferences.

Modern and simplified matchmaking script

Today, matchmaking has changed and simplified, it has become more modern. There are two options for the matchmaking of the groom for the bride:

The first option is when the groom sends matchmakers (parents, relatives, godparents) to the bride's house.
The second option is when the groom goes himself to the bride's parents and asks them for her hand. According to the old tradition, he must ask them for blessings, and the parents, taking the icon in their hands, bless them.

A young man comes to the bride with two bouquets of flowers: one for the bride and the other for her mother. He must be beautifully and elegantly dressed, and show his best side and prove to everyone that he is worthy of the bride and will be her wonderful husband. The girl cannot be present during the matchmaking, as her parents can ask various delicate questions about his financial situation, living conditions, his worldview, attitude towards marriage, family, children and much more.

What should the groom do during the matchmaking?

A young man can also inquire about the dowry of his chosen one from his parents. He briefly talks about his intentions and feelings for his chosen one. He talks about how he will take care of her and protect her, how he will not let anyone offend. He talks about being a good husband and father. In general, he must say everything that all parents want to hear in order to be calm about the fate of his daughter. Then the father and mother give their consent to their marriage and invite the groom's parents to set the wedding day and discuss all organizational issues.

The bride and groom go to the groom's house

It also happens that the young go to the groom's house, and he introduces them to his chosen one, and the bride gives flowers to his mother. They then ask the bride about her and her family and then give them their blessing. Matchmaking by the groom can also happen like this: the groom sends matchmakers to his future wife. Parents can act as matchmakers, he can come on the second day to accept the blessing.

To date, the scenario of the matchmaking of the bride and groom is basically one that makes it possible to discuss all wedding issues. It includes counting the number of guests, then determining where the wedding will be celebrated, what menu to order, how to decorate the banquet hall, and so on.

Matchmakers from the groom came to the bride's house

Both the old and the modern scenario of the bride's matchmaking is as follows: the headman from the groom comes to the house of the bride's parents. It must be an adult representative man: father, brother, grandfather, uncle or closest relative. The groom is silent and only answers the questions of the bride's parents. Matchmaking usually begins with the words: “You have a product, we have a merchant,” they must tell their parents from the door what and for what purpose they came.

The groom's matchmakers usually praise him, telling how good and skillful he is. They talk about his occupation, education, lifestyle, wealth, and what a wonderful husband he will be for their daughter. If the matchmaker or matchmaker is without complexes, then they can conduct the matchmaking in a playful and joking manner, having previously taken a funny scenario for the bride's parents. You can come up with scenario options yourself or take from the Internet, magazines. You can play a scene in the form of a comedy with various contests and jokes, so in a playful way you can clarify all questions and formalities.

No matter what the scenario is, the groom must take care of the symbolic gifts for the bride's parents. Usually they give flowers or some souvenirs to remember the matchmaking. Pleasant little things can always smooth and decorate acquaintance, as well as improve communication between people. Try to diversify the matchmaking scenario so that it is fun and interesting, and most importantly, both the groom and the bride's parents will remember for life.

What to give the parents of the bride during the matchmaking

Once upon a time, gifts were not given during this ceremony, but today it is very important. If the groom does not strictly observe the ceremony of matchmaking, then he may well (like everyone else give) give a small gift. For example, the father of the bride is given good alcohol, books, a gift pen. If he is an avid fisherman, then you can give him a fishing rod, it all depends on his type of activity. The mother of the bride is given sweets, jewelry, a picture, figurines, household items. It also depends on her preferences and hobbies. The main goal of the groom is to please the bride's parents, so he must do his best.

What should be on the table during the matchmaking

Particular attention should be paid to snacks and dishes that are on the table. Of course, it is not at all necessary to set the table, but it will be ugly and inhospitable not to invite guests to the table, especially if they have come from a distant road and want to rest and eat. The presence of alcohol on the table is also not necessary, but, as a rule, alcohol relaxes and brings together.

Wedding traditions

The courtship of the groom, in which he visits the house of his beloved, came from us from ancient times. Previously, special attention was paid to traditions, but today who wants to, he observes. But many people are superstitious and follow the custom of their ancestors. October 14 (the feast of the Intercession of the Holy Virgin) is considered the most favorable day for matchmaking, 3.5,7,9 were also considered favorable dates, and the days of the week: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Going to the girl to woo, the elders or the groom were silent all the way, and left the house when the sun went down, so as not to jinx it. When the matchmaker was going to go to the bride, they threw a bast shoe in his back, and the matchmaking process itself was carried out standing up so that marriage would come faster.

The headman begins the conversation with a story about who they are and where they came from, what obstacles they overcame along the way and why they came. You can tell something in the form of a fairy tale, they say, a hero has been growing in our family for twenty years, handsome, brave, courageous, hardworking. And then one day he dreamed of a red maiden of incredible beauty. And he sees in a dream that she lives here, so show your red maiden. You can also say that life without her is not sweet to him, since then he has not slept, has not eaten, and everyone dreams about her. The scenario can be different, there are a huge number of options.

And the matchmaker from the bride's side answers: we have a girl - red and not one, but several, and one is more beautiful than the other. And they take out one girl (a man in disguise), and then another, a third, and the groom and his matchmakers keep repeating: not that one, not that one. And then the real bride is taken out, the matchmakers begin to check her. To do this, they have a script according to which they begin to ask different questions and check what kind of hostess she is, whether she is kind, sincere, honest, economic and much more. The girl will pass an easy test and they will begin to praise her, then she will be given poems and songs.

And then everyone goes to the table to get to know each other better and discuss all the issues of the wedding. Then the matchmakers from the bride's side begin to check the groom: whether he is suitable for her husband. They ask you to hammer in a nail, bring water and much more. For each matchmaking there is a different scenario, which includes: poems, songs, stories, jokes and much more.

The tradition of matchmaking came to us from our ancestors. This is a very interesting and unusual pre-wedding ceremony, which has many rules. On it, the families of the young get to know each other and agree on a wedding.

For everything to go well, you should plan the event in advance. It can be modern, with lots of cool ideas. Or traditional. It all depends on the personal preferences of each family. You can watch a video that will tell you how best to cope with the upcoming task. It is customary to conduct matchmaking at home, in a family setting.

Make a menu, the table should be rich. Prepare a variety of dishes so that the groom's relatives enjoy the treat. Traditionally, it is customary to meet matchmakers with a loaf and salt. To create a good mood, you can turn on music and organize dances. The modern scenario in this regard does not differ from that adopted by our ancestors.

According to tradition, the groom should give a bouquet of flowers to the bride and her mother. You should not make large and expensive gifts for the bride's family, it is enough to limit yourself to fruits and sweets. The groom's family should traditionally cook the loaf. But if you want to please future relatives, here is a list of possible gifts for a woman:

Silk scarf or warm shawl.
Expensive perfume. But you should not give preference to this gift if you do not know about the preferences of the person to whom you plan to give it.
Book. This could be a collector's edition that will delight the lover of literature.
Home decor: figurine, vase, photo frame.

What suits a man:

Wine, elite cognac and other alcoholic drinks.
If a person smokes, buy expensive cigarettes for him.
Home tools.
Technique.
Accessory for the car.

Gifts should be practical. You should not spend big money if you are not absolutely sure that your present will please a person.

dowry

Accepted at the wedding agree on the amount. In Rus', dowry collection traditionally began long before the wedding. It usually includes dishes, towels, bed linen. You can buy household appliances if your budget allows. These items will be useful to the bride and groom in their future life together.

A properly drawn up script guarantees a successful celebration and brings a lot of pleasant emotions, which is why it is so important to pay attention to it. Here are the main stages of the event.

Matchmakers arrive at the bride's house. They are greeted with songs and ditties.
Relatives get to know each other. The groom gives the brought gifts and treats the parents of his betrothed with a loaf.
After the acquaintance, the guests are invited to the laid table.
The bride comes out to the guests, whose parents describe her positive qualities, praising their daughter in every possible way.
At this stage, it is customary for the groom to confess his feelings to the bride and give her a ring.
If the bride's parents agree to the marriage, then the matchmaking can be completed with fireworks and dancing.

The arrival of the matchmakers agreed in advance by both parties. There are good and bad days. Numbers 3, 5, 7 and 9 bring happiness and good luck. Try to invite guests on one of these days. It is undesirable to conduct matchmaking on Maslenitsa. Also try to avoid the thirteenth number.

Matchmakers should be greeted cordially so that they feel the comfort and hospitality of your home. The bride comes out to the guests only after they sit down at the table. Relatives should praise her. It would be appropriate to make a toast to the happiness of the young. As a rule, it is said by the oldest and most respected member of the family. The toast can be prepared in advance so as not to get lost at the event.

In turn, the groom must prepare a speech, in which he confesses his love for the bride and demonstrates his feelings. After recognition, he must solemnly ask for the hand of his chosen one from her parents. Having received a blessing from the elders, the matchmakers lead the young to the center of the room and join their hands. The groom puts a ring on the bride's finger. It is believed that it should be decorated with a precious stone. If you believe in the energy that stones possess, then first read about their properties. Try to choose a light and not very bulky stone.

Matchmaking in the Kuban is noisy and fun. It does not differ from the holiday in other regions of Russia. But it is worth considering the traditions of each nation, which may differ from each other. The modern scenario may differ from the traditional one. The most important thing is to have fun and be glad for the happiness of the young.

Matchmaking by the bride, what to say to relatives, what to ask the groom's family? Let's answer this question. Do not ask too many questions, this can confuse the young man and his family.

Write down possible topics for conversation in the script in advance. This is necessary so that there are no awkward pauses at the table. Below is a list of topics and questions that can be covered:

future plans;
the groom's thoughts about what an ideal marriage should be;
Favorite leisure activities: hobbies and hobbies.

Avoid talking about financial and personal matters. Remember that the conversation must take place in open, friendly atmosphere.

The groom's side can also talk to the bride. During the conversation, she should behave quietly and modestly. You can not interrupt the elders and raise intonation. On this day, it is important to make a good impression on future relatives.

Competitions for guests

We wrote above that the scenario can be very unusual. Some families arrange funny contests, which we will discuss below.

To hold this competition, you should write in advance on small pieces of paper the various activities that the husband and wife will do after the wedding. For example: swimming with dolphins, drawing on the pavement, going to the solarium together. The guests take turns taking them out and discussing the answers together. The more unusual they are, the more fun the competition will be. Show your imagination!
Guests should remember and sing wedding songs. The winner can prepare a small present in advance. Music brings people together and lifts the mood.
Please your parents, organize a competition for them. Find out in advance the history of their acquaintance and ask questions related to it. This will set all guests in a romantic mood and create an atmosphere of love and warmth.

Folk omens

Not only in ancient Rus' people believed in omens. We very often pay attention to various signs and try to interpret their meaning. Below we give the main signs associated with the tradition of matchmaking.

If you meet a man early in the morning, this is a sign that the matchmaking will be successful.
The distribution of alms to the needy is encouraged by the people. If you want to receive God's blessing, give money or food to those in need.
If a spoon or fork falls on the day of the matchmaking, then your guests are in a hurry to your house.

How the matchmaking goes on the part of the groom, we will consider in detail in this article. Marriage is a rather old ritual. In the times of Rus', before sending matchmakers to the bride, they held a family council. Among the matchmakers were relatives of the groom, less often close friends.

The purpose of matchmaking is to notify the girl's parents of the young man's desire to marry her. Various songs and jokes were prepared for matchmaking. It was on this day that the girl found out about the desire of the guy to marry her.

Modern marriage is very different. Old customs have lost their force. Although it is still a sign of respect. It depends on matchmaking what kind of relationship will develop between the girl's parents and the young man who wants to become their son-in-law. For everything to go smoothly, you should think over the script.

How is the matchmaking

There are no clearly defined rules for organizing and conducting matchmaking. It is customary to bring symbolic gifts to the bride's house, for example, bouquets of flowers for the future mother-in-law and the bride. For the father of the bride, it is advisable to choose cigars or expensive alcoholic drinks.

The groom should pay special attention to his attire. It is better to choose a classic black suit. Your task is to conquer future relatives. Since the choice of a groom for their daughter is a very important moment for parents, they pay attention to every little thing. And in ripped jeans or shorts, you will look extremely ridiculous at such an event.

From the very doorstep, matchmakers tell the purpose of their visit, they talk about the future son-in-law, his positive qualities, education, attitude towards family and children. Next, the parents talk about their daughter. After that, they can ask the groom questions that concern them.

On the day of the matchmaking, they agree on the bridegroom when the girl comes to the groom's parents. Often, organizational issues are resolved after the show.

Scenario

The event is, of course, important and serious, but a well-chosen funny scenario with pleasant surprises and innocent jokes will make it possible to leave a huge amount of positive emotions. If you have expressed a desire to conduct matchmaking taking into account all folk customs, remember that matchmakers should be sociable, sociable, and active. For carrying out, you can take a simple scenario as a basis:

The groom with matchmakers drive up or approach the house of the future bride. Seeing their bridesmaids, they begin to sing fervent ditties, joyful songs about happiness, love and wedding.
The groom goes into the house and presents gifts to his parents, if this is the first meeting, the acquaintance should begin with the father. If possible, bring a real loaf.
The guests sit down at the table.
Matchmakers offer parents to bring a girl.
Parents describe the positive qualities of their child, how smart, beautiful and hardworking she is;
The groom confesses his feelings for the chosen one. It will be quite original if at this moment the script is diluted with poems.
If the matchmaking went well and the parents are satisfied with the future son-in-law, the father gives his blessing.

Modern matchmaking is a tribute to ancient customs. Today it is much easier. The rite itself was very important, it made it possible not only to show respect for future relatives, but also to clarify important questions. Yes, and it is better to start family relationships by mutual agreement of all parties, so that no one has a desire to spoil the union of the young.

Accept the betrothed, serve the mummers

In Rus', there was a special attitude to matchmaking. Everything was carefully thought out, and a kind of scenario was drawn up. Together with the groom, his relatives came to the bride's house. The matchmaker was a blood relative of the young man.

If the future bride was not very young or beautiful, the parents from the first arrival of the matchmakers agreed to the marriage. And if the girl was young and pretty, the matchmaking could be held several times. Until the parents are convinced that this guy is perfect for the role of the future son-in-law.

Interesting facts about the ancient matchmaking:

If the bride's parents agreed to give her in marriage, they brought pies to the guests. Usually they met matchmakers on the doorstep with a loaf. In the case of a negative answer, the loaf remained whole.
Matchmakers considered Friday, Wednesday and the 13th unsuitable for solving “heart” issues, so they did not go to woo on these days.
They went out after sunset, so that no one would see or jinx them. They walked in silence all the way to the girl's house.
Negotiations were conducted standing up so that the marriage took place sooner.
When the matchmaker was going to the bride's house, they threw a bast shoe at his back.
Nobody was told about the intention to send matchmakers, so as not to jinx it.

Bride's look then and now

The bride is called the return visit of the bride to the groom's relatives. In ancient times, the girl chose the most beautiful outfit and covered her head, going to the bride.

The girl was asked various tricky questions, tested her for modesty and ingenuity. To make sure of her love for work, they could offer to sweep the floor. At the same time, they very carefully observed both her reaction and how she copes with the task.

If the father of the future groom liked the girl, he could kiss her on the cheeks. If the future bride did not want to get married, she could hide in a closet and take off her outfit. Some parents, wishing to hide the physical defects of their daughter, sent their maid to the bridegroom. The truth could only be known after the wedding ceremony.

Modern brides are limited to a sincere conversation in which the parents of a young man and the future bride solve their issues of concern, get to know each other.

Marriage in a new way

Modern matchmaking can be organized in two ways: the groom sends the bride as a matchmaker, or he himself comes to future relatives.

In the first case, the script can be filled with various jokes and songs, set the festive table, thereby relieving tension.

You can diversify the celebration with the help of popular folk sayings or proverbs:

Cry for a day, rejoice for a century!
We take bread and salt and call you to feast!
One matchmaker swears for other people's souls!
You can't lie against the matchmaker!

Requisites for matchmaking

For a traditional pre-wedding event, you need to prepare:

Towel. They bandage a woman who performs the duties of a matchmaker. Further, this towel is used at the wedding.
Loaf or round bread.
A little bit of trivia.
Drinks and snacks, be sure to honey.
Ring for the future bride.
Presents for the girl's parents.
A stick decorated with flowers and bright ribbons is a staff.

The matchmaker has a very important task. It depends on the response of the parents. Traditionally, her speeches should be full of all sorts of proverbs and sayings. If the matchmaker knows how to speak deftly and excitingly, everyone will be interested. And matchmaking does not turn into a boring formality.

Modern matchmaking, although different from that which was held in the old days, is also a mandatory event before the wedding. To make a positive impression on the parents of your chosen one, think over the scenario and prepare in advance. Of course, today parents know in advance about the arrival of matchmakers, young people have already discussed preparations for the wedding several times, but the groom should prove himself at the matchmaking so that the parents do not have a drop of doubt, and they gladly let their daughter get married.

Modern young people, about to get married, often think about interesting wedding traditions. Many arrange a magnificent engagement before the wedding, and some go even further and arrange matchmaking. The purpose of this ritual is quite simple - the groom asks the bride's parents for permission to marry her.

A few centuries ago, this was a rather serious event, because often the only way the girls found out about the intentions of the guys. Now this is a symbolic ceremony that allows the parents of the young to get acquainted and resolve all issues with the wedding. And for the bride and groom, these are pleasant memories for many years of married life.

wedding customs

There were a great many wedding customs in Rus' and often they differed from each other. Even two neighboring villages could have their own differences and superstitions associated with the creation of a new family. And only the main customs that the Russian people adhered to for many centuries have survived to this day.

In Rus', matchmaking has always been carried out as magnificently as the wedding itself.
The groom's parents rarely acted as matchmakers, they were present only as guests. And the matchmakers were intermediaries who not only matched the young, but often looked for a bride for the groom. In this case, he saw her for the first time, only having come to woo.
As for the guests, there were a lot of people present at the matchmaking. There was also a tradition of inviting the most important people.
The whole ritual was carried out strictly according to the rules that could not be changed. For example, matchmakers always brought towels, and the bride never sat at the table with guests.
Matchmaking was not an easy beautiful ceremony, so at that time the issue of the wedding was actually being decided. And often the matchmakers came to the bride's house several times, since it was impossible to agree on everything in one visit.
Various cash contests, which were invented by the bridesmaids, were also obligatory. The groom must have participated in them.
It was not without gifts, and the matchmakers gave them not only to the bride and her parents, but also to other relatives and girlfriends.
As for the bride, she could easily demonstrate her attitude towards the groom with the help of a broom. If she began to sweep the floor towards the stove, it means that she has a positive attitude towards the young man. If chalk to the door, then she drove out the matchmakers.
During the feast, the bride had to change her best outfits several times. Often, brides tried to show off their skills, for example, embroidery.
The groom at the matchmaking could easily be refused. As a sign of this, the bride presented him with a certain object that symbolized this. Often it was a pumpkin or a watermelon.
After the conversation, the matchmakers and the groom went outside and discussed the bride. At this time, her mother presented the young man with a glass of drink. If he drank the drink to the bottom, then the wedding will take place. If he returned back, only after taking a sip, it means that he refuses to marry.
If the girl was an enviable bride, then the matchmakers might not receive an answer to their proposal. Then they could come again. Often, the bride's parents, without initially giving any answer, could visit the groom and see what he offers their daughter.

Traditions and superstitions

The conduct of the modern ceremony often depends on what day the wedding is scheduled for. Previously, in Rus', they went to woo mainly in the fall, after harvesting. At the same time, matchmaking was almost always unexpected. And there were a lot of signs that made it possible to choose the best date. It was also believed that the matchmaking would be successful if you come after sunset.

Don't get married on Friday or Wednesday. And it is better to avoid the 13th, since it was considered not good to perform the ceremony on this day. It is better to come to the bride's house in the first half of the month, and the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th are considered ideal dates for this. In any case, now it is customary to agree on the arrival of matchmakers in advance.

A huge number of other superstitions are connected with matchmaking in Rus'. For example, the groom on this day should not meet and communicate with other people. Before entering the bride's house, the young man always touched the jamb with his shoulder and only then knocked on the door. And the matchmakers slammed the door three times, baptized the images, and only then they began to speak.

Interestingly, our ancestors believed that touching wooden objects during matchmaking brought success. Sitting at the table, the matchmakers tried from time to time to touch the legs of the table. If the bride's parents agreed to the wedding, they went around the table three times.

There is no specific matchmaking scenario, so much depends on the matchmakers' imagination. The groom's parents do not have to perform this function, it is better to invite a professional matchmaker. However, there are rules that must be followed if one wants to keep all the traditions.

Matchmakers should start the conversation with the phrase “You have goods, we have a merchant” and then praise the groom in front of the bride’s parents. At this time, the girl's parents jokingly doubt his merits and praise their daughter. The whole conversation takes place in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. The bride does not participate in the conversation, as at this time she is hiding in her room.
Matchmakers must convince that their groom is the best. When this happens, negotiations begin at the table. At this time, the wedding of the young is discussed, etc.
The groom and the matchmakers present gifts to the bride's parents. It can be symbolic flowers and small souvenirs. Be sure to give flowers to the bride herself. At the same time, the issue of gifts should be approached seriously, not forgetting the gift for the father-in-law.
There is no need to make a solemn event out of matchmaking with a large number of guests. It used to be that way, but now it's more like a small family event. Do not arrange a meeting in a restaurant. It is enough to cook a few treats.
If you wish, you can add ancient customs. Matchmakers can bring an embroidered towel, etc.
The “examination” of the bride by the matchmakers also takes place in a joking manner. But here it is important not to cross the line and not offend the girl, trying to bring down the price of the "ransom".

Is it possible to get married without parents

If for some reason the groom's parents cannot come to the matchmaking, the young man will have to do everything on his own. And therefore it is important not to lose sight of all the little things that can spoil this important event.

When planning to marry, the groom must warn the bride and her family about this. To come unexpectedly in this case is a bad form. And of course, you should take care of your appearance. You don't have to wear a tuxedo, but sportswear won't do either.
When choosing bouquets for the bride and her mother, one should try not to allow a strong contrast. The girl's bouquet should be tender and beautiful, and the future mother-in-law's should be a little more modest, but more refined.
In addition to flowers, the groom can take care of the treat. Enough bottles of wine or champagne, as well as sweets. Arriving at the house, it is better not to show them, so as not to demonstrate confidence that he will be accepted.
If there are no matchmakers, the groom must prepare his speech in advance. In this case, you do not need to talk about your feelings for the bride. It is important to talk about yourself, convincing future relatives that he is the best contender for the hand of their daughter.
But do not take this too seriously, because the modern bride and groom make their own decisions about the wedding. Therefore, it is better to praise yourself in a joking manner, not forgetting that this is still a symbolic ritual.
In no case should you calm down before the matchmaking with alcohol. Even if relations with future relatives have long been established. This is not the case when you can behave in this way.
If the groom's parents were not at the matchmaking, the bride should pay them a visit with him. In this case, it would also be useful to take care of gifts for the future mother-in-law and father-in-law. If you wish, you can go to visit with your own parents.

You should not arrange a celebration just for show, as this has long been optional. But if there is a desire to introduce your parents in such an interesting way, then matchmaking is an ideal option.