How to wean a husband to drink alcohol: saving the family. How to wean a husband to drink: the most effective folk recipes and psychological methods

So, while the love between you has not faded to the end, take another leap - help your husband part with the bottle. Of course, weigh the pros and cons, and at the same time your strengths, especially moral ones, because you will have to go through resistance. Alcohol is like your rival, giving your husband more pleasure than you. And this is a challenge that you can only accept once.

Step one

We are conducting an investigation, the purpose of which is to find out the true cause. If he had a family of alcohol abusers, then first find out if they were alcoholics or drunkards. If the second option, then it’s still worth fighting to wean your husband from drinking. Therefore, remember when your husband started drinking in such a way that it caused negative feelings in you, after what events it was. Try to somehow peacefully talk with him, and find out why he drinks, what he lacks in your relationship.

step two

Go to a psychologist, tell him everything you learned. Perhaps you can work together to find a good way to solve this problem of alcohol abuse. It's always good to start with yourself, dig into yourself, look for what you did wrong and how you can change it.

But the main task of your meeting with a psychologist is to find motivation for your husband so that he agrees to come to him with you. At the same time, you must be ready for any result. Set yourself up for the fact that even a negative result is also a result. Less tragedy.

Step Three

Try to try on your own or in the company of a psychologist to find out if your husband belongs to drunkards, or if it has already turned into a disease. Symptoms of all stages of alcoholism you can find in the medical directory. You don't need to convey what you've learned to your husband. Do not rush, otherwise you will cause a backlash - he will actively resist.

Step Four

Go with your husband to a psychologist, but motivate this not by his addiction to alcohol, but by your personal problems. Specifically, ask him for help and support in a joint trip to a psychologist, because you are experiencing depression or some kind of difficulty. In a word, do not rush with facts, since your husband will rather willingly help you than go "coded".

Step five

Working with a psychologist should be accompanied by medication. And here it would be better to even choose not a psychologist, but a psychotherapist who has the right to prescribe medication, and at the same time conducts all the same sessions of psychoanalysis.

step seven

It's the most important. You will greatly raise your status in the eyes of your husband, and make him want to go for feats for you if you fulfill some of his old dreams. The goal is to replace the pleasure you get from alcohol with the pleasure you get from hobbies. If the husband believes that a poet has died in him, give him the belongings of a great writer. If he dreams of a car, find an opportunity to buy a car, ask relatives who are probably ready to fight for her husband with you to help.

In a word, there is something that will surely be able to bring new meaning into his life. It is for him - it should be his dream, not yours. And you, having tried to realize it, share this dream with him. And here it is - a new pleasure, from which alcohol will only distract.

And, of course, prepare for the fact that it will be difficult. But it is very important that your husband makes the final decision himself, and not you make it for him. There may be relapses. But if you remember why at one time you fell in love with this man so much that you married him, then there will always be hope.

The problem of drunkenness is relevant in our time. Before you start treating your husband for alcohol, you need to understand the reasons. If a husband drinks for no reason, this is an addiction that needs to be treated.

Why does the husband drink?

The causes of male alcoholism are divided into the following categories:

• Genetic. Ideally, before the wedding, you need to find out about the presence of alcoholics in the family of the chosen one. But such a fact is often hidden from the best of intentions.
• Psychological. Troubles at work, in relationships, the bad influence of the company, the war cause a desire to get drunk and forget.
• Lack of self-realization. It is important for a man to succeed. But the wives do not understand that they have to work hard for this. Reproaches, resentment, the demand to find another job can arouse the husband's interest in drinking.
• dissatisfaction with social position. Lack of money, poor living conditions. Instead of support, faith in a man - constant reproaches from his wife. The phrase "loser" can serve as a trigger. And as a result - the husband is comforted in a bottle of vodka, and you read on the Internet how you can wean your husband to drink.
• Wife's overprotection. It would seem that you care so much about him, but he does not appreciate it. You do not care about his opinion, because you know in advance that he will not come up with anything good. As a result, the pride of the husband is hurt.

There are also three stages of manifestation of alcoholism.

At the first stage, there is an attraction to alcohol and a loss of a sense of proportion. At the second stage, a "hangover syndrome" is formed. At the third stage, alcohol tolerance decreases and personality degradation occurs.

How to wean a husband to drink?

In many women's forums, the topic of what to do if a husband drinks is common. As a rule, opinions fall into the following categories:

1. Supporters of divorce. Many women believe that it is impossible to re-educate alcoholics, so there is no point in wasting youth, time, strength, health on him, and also that an alcoholic father is a trauma for the child's psyche. These arguments are clear and convincing. Such women should not be condemned.

Divorce is a rather radical way. It is suitable for those who have tried all the ways to save their husband and it did not help. Women who do not want to make an effort to save their husband for personal reasons also get divorced.

The threat of divorce is a fairly effective technique. If you threaten your spouse and leave for a while with your parents, you can understand if he wants to fight for the family or if drinking has already become more expensive for him. If not, you shouldn't keep it and it's better to get a divorce.

2. Women who are ready to endure any drunken antics of their husband. Alas, there are downtrodden women with a victim complex. They hurt themselves and their children. Typical arguments are the phrases “where to go” and “how is he without me”. Such a position leads to tragedy or the woman still decides to leave, but crippled physically and mentally.

3. Women who are ready to fight for a loved one. Such women are trying to find the answer to the question: how to wean her husband from drinking alcohol.

It should be remembered that if your husband does not want to heal himself, no one will force him and no way will help.

There are a number of methods that can help you in your trouble. These include:

• Coding or hypnosis. It is very important to find a professional. This method is quite efficient. But there is a risk that after a certain time the husband will start drinking again.
• Psychological. It depends on the cunning and wisdom of the woman and the character traits of the man.

At first, everything starts innocently. I had a beer with a friend at work, then another, because he is so tired, and then you notice that there is already beer both at home and on weekends. And the phrase that "everything is under control" is a sign of incipient alcoholism.

Beer alcoholism is much worse, because it is not so noticeable. At this stage, bet him that he can go two weeks without drinking. And the prize is any of his desires or the embodiment of his erotic fantasies. And let him win. In this way you can check if there is a dependency or not. And then argue again, involve him in the game.

If, within two weeks, your husband has become irritable and angry, there is an addiction. And here you need a frank conversation, showing a video about the dangers of alcohol, printed information about alcoholism and consultations with a narcologist or psychotherapist.

It is also possible to shoot a video on the phone, which records the behavior of the spouse in a drunken state, and show it in the morning so that he can see himself from the outside. Ideally, you should be ashamed.

Sometimes a joint extreme hobby or a joint repair helps. A man must be busy. If the husband got into a bad company, you need to find him an alternative with other interests.

In the case of a beer hobby, it is worth hinting about the beer belly and suggesting to go to the gym together. However, you should not shout, reproach, shame a drunken husband, wait until the morning and express everything.

• Folk. The main purpose of such methods is to induce vomiting and an aversion to alcohol. It is very important not to overdo it and not ruin the spouse's digestive system.

There are many folk recipes for curing alcoholism. Here are some of them:

1. In a glass, mix 1 raw egg, 1 tbsp. drinking water, 1 tbsp. shag and pour it all with vodka. Mix thoroughly, then give on an empty stomach to the spouse. Such a drink will not harm the body, but will only cause vomiting and an aversion to alcoholic beverages.
2. Take 50 gr. dill seeds, boil in 0.5 liters of port wine. Cook over low heat. Give 50 ml of this decoction to your husband.
3. Give a cup of strong coffee with salt instead of sugar. This drink will make you vomit.
4. Prepare a decoction of wormwood and centaury in equal proportions. Give a decoction until there is an aversion to alcohol.
5. Give 6 tsp. honey, after 20 minutes give another 6 tsp, then repeat the dosage after a similar period of time. After 2 hours, repeat the procedure and let the husband sleep. In the morning, the husband will wish to sober up. After that, give a standard dose of 6 tsp. every 20 minutes. Then serve breakfast. For dessert, give 4 tsp. honey. Full adherence to the recipe will wean the spouse to drink. This technique is useful and effective for husbands in the stage of deep intoxication.
6. Drink a mixture of 50 gr. lemon juice, 50 gr. boiled water and 1-2 tbsp. honey. Drink 2-3 times a day for 3-4 weeks.
7. Boil a decoction consisting of thyme and wormwood: in 1 tbsp. collection add a glass of boiling water, cook for 3-5 minutes over low heat. Drink 1 tbsp. 3 times a day for 2-3 months. After 3 weeks there should be an aversion to alcohol.

Thus, we have analyzed all the available ways to cure a husband of drunkenness. But remember, the decision is yours, because family relationships are individual for everyone. And whatever path you choose, it is your choice and should be respected.

Tatyana Bushmanova

Psychologist-consultant

I can say right away that this and other articles from this series may seem pessimistic to you. Why? If you try to type in the search engine the words “How to wean your husband from drinking?”, Then links to hundreds of resources are opened offering a “100% solution” to the problem of drunkenness.

"Answers" to all questions

On others, mainly on women's forums, they will explain to you that you yourself are to blame for your husband's drunkenness, because you are too smart, work hard, you have masculine character traits, you walk in jeans and do not try to look the most beautiful for your husband.

In general, you lack femininity, which is why your husband suffers and drinks from grief. And what else is left for a man to do if his wife is smart and wears pants? Here, put on a skirt to the floor, master a soft feminine walk, landing, manners (for this you will be offered special courses and marathons - not for free, of course), and everything will fall into place. The husband, seeing your weakness and defenselessness, will be deeply touched, repent and stop drinking forever.

On third resources, they will tell you that a man drinks because of ... then there will be a lot of talk about his low self-esteem, which you must increase, about the characteristics of the vulnerable male psyche, which you must protect. In general, a thousand and one reasons why a husband drinks.

Who should solve the problem of alcoholism?

So, tired and exhausted, feeling shame in front of society and guilt, as well as suppressed anger, constant anxiety and fear for themselves and their children, women are ready to do anything to understand why their husband drinks and how to wean her husband to drink. But such behavior - intercepting responsibility - is a road to nowhere. To understand why, it is necessary to understand the essence of the phenomenon of "alcoholism", and in general "dependence".

Why does the husband drink?

Alcoholism is not promiscuity, it is not a consequence of a difficult childhood (although, of course, if childhood was difficult, then the risk of alcoholism increases), it is not the fault of circumstances or people around. This means that it is useless to appeal to conscience and proclaim calls to "pull yourself together." Wearing long skirts will also help him no more than it would help someone with the flu.

The essence of alcoholism as a disease is the loss of control over drinking. Time after time, gradually a person comes to a state where he no longer chooses whether to drink or not to drink. He can no longer drink moderately like everyone else; that is, drink a glass or two and stop. He cannot refuse a company of drinking buddies he meets, even if he planned some important things .... A person ceases to cope with everyday difficulties without alcohol, forgets how to rejoice and celebrate without alcohol.

And just as a flu patient cannot, for example, lower his temperature by willpower, so an alcoholic cannot stop drinking by willpower if he has started. Or not to start drinking if there is a craving - a painful, irresistible desire to drink.

And that means you can't force a person to get better. If we continue the analogy with the flu, then you can certainly bring medicine to the sick person. But whether he will take this medicine or not depends only on him. And if he doesn't want to, you are powerless to do anything about it.

A very important point, I emphasize again: you are powerless to do anything with another person, with his unwillingness to take medicine in case of flu or with his unwillingness to part with alcohol in case of drunkenness. But that doesn't mean you're completely helpless.

What can you really do in this situation?

Secondly, it is in your power to make it unprofitable, uncomfortable for a person to get sick. For example, you stop paying his debts. Or stop defending him in front of the employer, hiding the true reasons for absenteeism. Stop expecting your kids to try not to “make dad angry” and ask him to stop scaring them or, if necessary, protect them.

I would like to draw attention to the fact that most often the relatives of an addicted person do everything exactly the opposite. They completely forget about the safety of their own and their children; they blame the alcoholic for what he, in fact, is not to blame - for the very fact of the disease. But at the same time, they do everything to mitigate the consequences of drunkenness for the drunkard himself. And thus only indulge the disease, accelerate the degradation of his personality.

Instead of telling the truth, they look in the face and try to almost guess his mood and adjust to it. This phenomenon is called codependency.

It is important to remember that while the husband is drunk, it is not necessary to enter into any negotiations with him, and it may be unsafe. But when he sobers up, do not be afraid to call a spade a spade.

The next morning the drunkard feels bad, he himself understands that he has "screwed up." And at this moment, pity is extremely inappropriate, since the desire to regret, mitigate material and moral damage deprives the alcoholic of the opportunity to see reality. Alas, the wives and other relatives of alcoholics in denying the disease and its severity can often give odds to the alcoholics themselves, who, as you know, generally "have no problems and everything is in order."

Yes, if you tell him the truth, it is not a fact that he immediately realizes everything and goes to be treated. But if this is not done, then there will be no chance at all.

So, in summary, we can say: there is nothing you can do to make your husband stop drinking. But you can make it so that it loses its comfort in its use.

And in more detail about how to do this and how to conduct a conversation that motivates for treatment, we will talk in the next article.