How to support a person in difficult times? Councils of psychologists and worldly wisdom. Help, support. Statuses, quotes, poems, aphorisms, sayings from films

Now let's move on to the more practical side - communication ...

Have you often encountered a problem when your friend or loved one has depression, and you do not know what to say to him and how to help overcome this condition? It is very difficult to find the right words in such a situation, because a person may not react correctly and even inadequately. Below are the most powerful words that will help you support a loved one in difficult times.

Phrases that make it clear that you are worried about a person:

What can I do for you?

All written sources describing this problem advise SHOW, not SAY. Words are not all that is helpful for a person struggling with depression.

So, what I find most comforting at a time when it is impossible to collect my thoughts is the arrival of my friend who came and prepared dinner for me, or someone's offer to clean up my place. Believe me, practical care is a very big support for a person who is facing grief or suffering from depression. Why not go and visit a man who has completely lost his mood?

Actions are very effective when communicating, you express compassion to the interlocutor also in a practical way. Even if he is too humble to accept such help, I can assure you that he will put your words in that secret corner of his soul that will remind you: "This person cares about me."

Maybe there is something that could help you feel better?

Talk to the person about something that once brought him joy, or about something new that could bring him. Perhaps he himself will not have an answer to this question, or perhaps he will remember something that could cheer him up now, but he is not able to do it. Then you can give him this support and help him do something that will cheer him up.

Brew tea for him, be there, do not say too many words, arrange him for a confidential conversation.

Do you want me to accompany you?

Maybe a person has been used to being alone for a long time and did not even think about the fact that someone might be around at the time when you need to go shopping or get to some place. Moreover, no one accompanied him home. You can offer such support, it will show that you really care about the person and do not want to leave him alone with his thoughts.

Such actions will say more than just the words “I am near”, “I am with you”, “You can count on me”, because you are really nearby and you can really count on you!

Do you find support in someone?

These words say: “You need support. Let's find a way to get it."

Such a question will help to understand whether a person is surrounded by support from relatives or whether he is left to himself. If you know that someone is trying to support him, but he himself does not talk about it or does not notice support as such, then this will help you understand that it is important for a person, what helps him and what does not.

The more loved ones show such care, the better for the person. If you know that he feels lonely in his trouble and does not receive the support of loved ones, talk to them. Let them know how important it is for them to connect and be there during this difficult time.

You should also not forget that you can seek help from specialists if the person himself does not mind. I think this is not the first method of helping, but if you yourself cannot help a person, it is better to entrust it to professionals. Again, only with the consent of the person. He needs to be helped to understand that depression is a serious and dangerous disease, but quite correctable, especially if the person himself understands this and is ready to fight.

It will definitely end and you will feel like before.

These words do not judge, impose or manipulate. They just give hope and that HOPE will keep the person alive, or at least motivate them to live until the next day to see if there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This is not a simple and seemingly indifferent “It will pass”, “It happens and not like that”. Such words show that you really experience what is happening in a person’s life, wish him and sincerely believe that this will pass soon.

Make it clear that this is just a disease, a curable condition, after which there is a happy life. Everything will not end on such experiences and emotions.

What do you think about the most?

Such a question will help determine the possible cause of depression, what causes the most anxiety and occupies the person’s thoughts. You explore all the possible causes, but don't settle for just one. When through such a conversation a person draws his own conclusions, he will take responsibility for what can be changed.

Perhaps your loved one now really needs a person who knows how to listen and have the right questions for the conversation. Be gentle at this time and be prepared to listen more than talk, and even be silent at the right time.

What time of day is the most difficult for you?

Try to find out when your loved one's depressing thoughts are most disturbing and be as close as possible at this time. Don't leave him alone. Even when he does not want to talk, believe me, after a while this presence of yours will bring extraordinary results and healing.

Calling at the right time, willingness of the other to wait until the time when he wants to talk about the problem, just being there is very valuable! If you are nearby, hug the person, make tea, sit nearby and just be ready to help with all your being. In the most difficult time - you are there. And most importantly, they are constant.

I'm here to help you.

This is what you can say in support of all the actions that you are already doing for a person. You should not throw such words if it is not so. But if it's true, backed up by deeds, it gives strength. It's simple. It is necessary. And in these words there is everything you need to say: I care, although I cannot fully understand everything, but I love and support you.

Silence.

This is the most inconvenient because we always want to fill the silence with something, even if it's the weather. But saying nothing... and just listening... is sometimes the best and most appropriate answer.

Be sensitive and attentive. Don't talk in vain. Be closer to a person's heart, it can understand even without words.

How can you be prepared to provide this kind of support?

Supporting someone in difficult times is not easy for the one who provides this support. First, because you may not know exactly how to help a person. Secondly, because you are simply worried about him, and yes, you also hurt somewhere inside from his pain!

Stock up on patience and love in advance, be prepared to wait as long as necessary. You won't always understand everything. This is not required of you. But if you are there and will support and express care in every way possible for you, you can do it.

But it requires a certain amount of dedication. We are not always ready to invest so much in someone. For this you need to really love.

Help a person to find the meaning of life. If you yourself are confused in this matter, we can talk about it together with you. After all, there is nothing more important than the state of the human soul and the contribution that we can make to relationships.

It is great if you are ready to support your partner in any difficulties. The willingness to help each other's personal growth is one of the important conditions for the existence of transforming relationships. But one thing is readiness, and another thing is understanding how this can be done.

If your loved one has embarked on a path of transformation, this will challenge you too. You, too, will be rewarded when your partner becomes more calm, open, and loving. This is not only for your peace of mind, but also to help your loved one heal and grow. In addition, it is important for your relationship. We urge you to follow only the advice that seems reasonable and appropriate to you at the moment. Remember: what is useless now can be useful in the future.

Your position matters

When solving problems in a relationship, your position can become a helper or a hindrance. Humans are complex beings, capable of having many different views and emotions at the same time. It is important that you be aware of how you feel about what is happening.

Position number 1. Keep calm. The process of changing a loved one can be like a rollercoaster of fears, hopes, inner struggles, ups and downs. Being a fellow traveler in this race is not the most pleasant experience, especially if you yourself grew up in a chaotic and anxious family. It can often be tempting to force a partner to calm down, despite his inner needs. But this does not always lead to good results.

Position number 2. Express yourself more clearly. Another typical mode of action can be self-sacrifice: a person is ready to endlessly endure and accept everything that happens, as if he himself does not need anything. While this behavior seems heroic, both of you would rather suffer from it than benefit from it. Going out of your way to help a person can make them... Compete with you in "heroism" and/or... Relax and hand over responsibility for what is happening to you. It is hardly possible to consider such results desirable. The alternative is to bring clarity to your relationship. Your main responsibility is to take care of yourself and your own life, and it is up to you to decide how to deal with it. This is helped by the constant awareness of what you need, what you should do, what you can offer at any given moment. For example, you are exhausted by frequent overtime and caught a cold. In this case, bed rest would help. And now, when you were already completely climbed into bed, your partner comes and says that he is not comfortable and needs to talk urgently. You know that such conversations can be exhausting, so you are faced with a difficult choice: support your loved one or go on vacation. It would be best to tell the partner directly what you need and what you can do for him - and insist on the offer. For example, like this: “I would be glad to listen to you now, but I am half dead, and I am of little use today. Let me just hug you now, and we’ll move the conversation to tomorrow morning.” Setting boundaries like this is good not only for you, but also for your partner. He will benefit from the understanding that your support will not be so great that you will later regret it. No less valuable is your belief that your loved one is able to solve their problems. The constant readiness to save a partner undermines his self-confidence. In this way, you seem to be saying: "You cannot do without help, and I will have to go to the rescue." By clearly limiting your actions, you make it clear: "I believe that you can do it."

Position number 3. To be kind. Almost everything in this life is best done with kindness. Kindness fills words and gestures with meaning, gives special depth to conversations, softens disappointment and makes joy more sincere. In intimate relationships, being kind to your loved one and to yourself is even more important. To explain what we mean by kindness, let's first define what it is not. Being kind is not the same as being nice. Gloriousness tries to smooth all corners, to avoid any problems. And that means you have to be polite, always stroke the fur and keep the peace. Kindness doesn't want things to go smoothly, it wants to make things better. A good deed may go against the grain or disturb the peace, but it will be dictated by love. The kindness that most affects your relationship is the willingness to accept a person as he is, with all his experiences and feelings. This does not mean that you should approve of all his actions - your kindness does not give him the right to misbehave. Rather, you need to accept the person himself, no matter what happens to him. It is important that you treat yourself in the same way, and not just your loved one. Perhaps you would not like to experience certain feelings and have some habits. It is likely that you want to be more patient or understand your partner better. It's good that you want to change, but it's important to understand that change doesn't happen overnight. They begin with kindness and self-understanding. If you are at war with yourself, with your thoughts and feelings, it will be more difficult for you to understand them and figure everything out. If you treat yourself with respect, it is much easier to see all the internal processes and fix something.

Your efforts don't always work out the way you want them to, and sometimes the right thing doesn't work out. Below is a short list of things you can do to help your loved one when they need support.

Be there

Show care. Your interest shows interest in the personal growth and happiness of a loved one, makes it clear that you are ready to accompany him on this path.
You will know what to expect. The way your partner acts and thinks will change, and this will affect the relationship with you. Sometimes the changes will be awkward or awkward, and understanding his intentions will help you figure out what's going on.
This will help your own growth. Your partner will apply different points of view, techniques and strategies. Some of them are suitable for him, while others will be useful to everyone. The more you learn about what your loved one is doing and what is happening to him, the more you will learn about yourself and your development.
This is an investment in your joint future. The process of transformation is endless, but it usually has a particularly active period. After active change and growth, there is usually a lull. The new life is normalized and stabilized. Traveling with your loved one strengthens your relationship with every step.

Notice and reward achievements

Professional athletes love "educated fans" who understand the intricacies of the game and understand when to rejoice and shout, and when not to. Musicians and actors also prefer an audience that knows when to applaud. When we have a difficult job, the support of a loving person is like a sip of cool water. Your partner is engaged in a complex, painful and incomprehensible business. Sometimes you will want to take some of the burden of his problems on yourself, but, of course, this is impossible. But you can be there, understand what he is going through, and celebrate his victories with him.

Support your loved one in their relationships with friends

Men and women alike need the support of friends of the same sex. Often people try to satisfy all their needs with the help of a loved one (as if they go to one store for all the goods at once) - having entered into a long-term relationship, they sometimes lose friends. Many nice people are afraid that their partner will not like it if they spend their time with friends.

A loved one needs your support in relationships with friends. He himself will find like-minded people and will communicate with them, and you can help with your approval and understanding that it takes time to make friends. Remember that men and women build friendships differently and your partner is unlikely to do everything the same way as you would.

It's important to note that we're talking about healthy same-sex friendships. It's not very good (and dishonest) to pretend that you are maintaining friendships that, in your opinion, only bring harm. We all need mature and adequate friends, capable of sympathy and sound assessment of what is happening.

Take care of yourself too

Your couple consists of two people, each of whom is equally important. It's great if you're willing to support the person you love, but you have to take care of yourself too. What is good for one is good for the other, and at best the needs of both will be satisfied. Here are some ideas on how you can take care of yourself.

Take care of your health. Absolutely everything - the mind, emotions, intuition, etc. - works best when you are healthy. Don't overlook exercise, proper nutrition, and enough sleep.
Maintain relationships with friends. The reasons are the same as we mentioned above. The one who helps another needs support himself.
Join a psychological support group. You may think that you are not the type to go to group psychology classes, but trust me, there are many options.
Take a course of psychotherapy. So you get a safe environment for conversations and a professional who is ready to listen to you.

Words of support

Relationships can be beautiful and complex or confusing at the same time, especially when a loved one is going through a big change. There is no way to make everything perfect - it's easier to go crazy trying to do everything right. Perhaps frustration, sadness, or depression will alternate with joy, contentment, and clarity. Have fun and find the funny side of everything. This is the best way to support your loved one, strengthen your relationship and improve your life.

Craig English
James Rapson

Comment on the article "How to properly support a loved one"

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Discussion

What if the closest people do not understand you and you feel that you are doomed to cope with all the problems alone? Happy are those who have close friends or relatives who can truly support in a difficult moment. Those who know how to silently listen and give good thoughtful advice, recognizing the right to be imperfect and not judging for mistakes, never uttering the phrase “I told you so!” and “pull yourself together immediately!” It is a pity that such luck falls to a few. Most often in...

Discussion

Well, as usual, everything is in moderation. What kind of grief, in which they did not provide support? Someone died? Is someone sick? Then yes, bastards. But these cases don't happen very often. But if you want to “simply speak out” and be patted on the head continuously, then for such purposes you really need to hire a specially trained person and pour out to him for money and productively. Thoughtful advice given by professionals. And from the usual "relatives and relatives" you want a lot.

Baby, everything should be handled by professionals! You don't go to a locksmith buddy when your tooth hurts! You go to the dentist, pay a penny and get rid of the toothache. The same rule works for mental pain. There is a doctor - a psychotherapist. You need to go to him for spiritual sensitivity, and not drive your girlfriends into depression with your suffering.

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I support him as best I can, scratch my back, feed borscht with buns and organize a withdrawal, you know what? you have to live in the way that is right for you personally, and those around you are right. Something tells me that it is difficult to suspect a loved one so immediately of striving to sit down ...

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IMHO: a wife can support a creative person in a crisis in only one way - by getting out of sight along with children and other problems. We talk about this with my husband, but he himself at a deep level cannot understand what is right, strain and survive, outgrow this ...

This is the child of your closest and beloved person, and you call him "alien". In a number of cases, I considered it right for myself to support the girl, although in fact it turned out that I was "covering" her.

Discussion

I don't know about everyone, I know about myself. We do not divide children into "friend or foe". Just at the age of 10, the boy moved to his dad. Both wanted, I also only supported. This is the child of your closest and beloved person, and you call him "alien". But he is a brother to your children.

Arguments were not accepted correctly. I wouldn't mess with an unreliable partner like you either. Who is ready to put his NATIVE child, the child of his husband, in unpleasant conditions because of his incomprehensible whims. Children are not to blame for adult relationships. It seems that mother and her husband do not really need a boy. And you, instead of supporting, "just don't want to." For me, all this is another globe. In general, your husband totally does not know how to choose women.

My husband's daughter has been living with us for the last two years. When she moved, she was 10, and we have two little ones. All three of the children were happy.
Relations with six months were uneven, shaking. But it got shaky. But our situation is easier - our daughter periodically visited us from the very beginning, from her 4 years old. We went on holiday together again. Now she is my first assistant! And just a very nice person.
My husband pays less attention to her than I do, he returns from work, of course, late. I go to meetings, I go shopping with her, and so on. But it is the same with our common children.

Conference "About my own, about girlish". Section: How to proceed? (how to support your husband Fate gave him the opportunity to stop and think a little about whether he was going the right way before. A person is not looking for himself in the same area, he has already been offered many options, he refused.

Discussion

I thank everyone for their advice and opinions, my hopes for the conference were more than justified :-) - I heard a lot of practical and useful advice and an APHIGICAL and unexpected bonus was that my brains fell into place with a clang and gnash :-)
Peace of mind, which, stsuko, wandered around somewhere, also returned. :-)

Thank you all very much :-)

05.08.2009 17:02:40, Acknowledged author, with love

The second month is not a period at all for the present time, and judging by your presentation, it is an awfully long time.
For example, line specialists with little experience are now looking in Moscow for 3-6 months, the higher the expectations, the longer they are looking. And they already said about the tops that even in peacetime for six months - the usual search period was, and yours received approximately at the level of the tops.
He understands that consulting is now deep out and few people can invest in the introduction of new IT systems, that in his field he will not earn much earlier.
Fate gave him the opportunity to stop and think a little about whether he was going the right way before. Give him that break. It is hard for him already from the fact that he has ceased to be the breadwinner of the family. No need to pressure him with talk yet.

I understand the desire of the reader of this article to find universal words of support for another person. Well, I will try to write them, or rather, write a few recommendations on how to find them. At the same time, the beginning of this article for a few people may seem of little interest and not important. In this case, I suggest skipping a few paragraphs to read and find what they are looking for. For myself, I leave the desire to first describe the mechanism by which the desire or inability to support other people is formed.

Anyone who grew up in an environment and atmosphere of lack of attention and warmth, care and comforting words of support, is not able to give attention and care, to support a person in difficult times with words. This happens often, but not always.

There are rare exceptions in which a person, having no experience of support from other people, strives to compensate for the lacking quality of character in himself. How does this happen? He pays great attention to what happens in his relations with people, how he communicates with them, takes into account the needs of another, and gradually, changing his treatment of others, rebuilds his behavior to the desired one. Over time, the experience solidifies and becomes a natural style of communication.

In situations of crisis or, a person with a new style of communication is able to lose control of himself and return to the previous style of communication, ignoring, suppressing, the other person. A kind of “swing” can haunt a person all his life, and a feeling of guilt towards himself for such breakdowns can also haunt his whole life.

According to my observations from work experience, I noticed that people never told me that in childhood they were deprived of toys, things and other material joys. At the same time, I always come across stories in which people talk about how they were deprived of warmth and support. This gave me the idea that it is parental care, warmth and support that is fundamental in the development of the human psyche.

Just feeding a child, dressing for the weather, bathing and going for walks with him is not enough. There is also an emotional sphere that strives for satisfaction through words of sympathy, verbal support, bodily contact (hugging, stroking, touching), recognizing the right to one's opinion, .... Ignoring the emotional sphere in raising a child means depriving the child of the opportunity to fully develop.

A year and a half ago, I witnessed a conversation between men, one of whom said: we ourselves push children away from us, ignoring their interests and desires, skimp on the manifestation of feelings, and then wonder why children treat us so coldly. Me and my friend, these seemingly simple words made me think.

Words of support in difficult times, or in moments of life choices, are incredibly important for someone who is in a difficult emotional state. It seems that the words of support do not allow you to fall into the abyss, and give the feeling that "I am not alone with my problem, that there is someone who understands me and shares my feelings with me."

I don't know what words of support are universal for all people, but the fact that a person will be attentive to the concerns and problems of another is very supportive in itself. No need to think that they are not important to another person, and that he can easily do without them. If you are looking for universal words of support in this article that you would like to say to another person, then I will write the following: say sincerely what you feel. If you feel pain, joy, anxiety, for another person ( you know, your story somehow resonates with sadness, and I understand how hard it is for you now. Is there any way I can support you?), sometimes it’s better to talk about it than - “don’t worry, everything will pass” ... Such words do not console, and sometimes, they only exacerbate sensitivity. After all, a person does not know whether it will “pass” or “not pass”, because it is difficult for him now.

Tell yourself how you feel - it helps a lot! Joint experience, sharing of feelings, is much more supportive than banal consoling words without sincerity. If there are no sincere feelings, I think it would be easier if the person was simply silent, since forced words without sincerity are felt and perceived by another person as false. After all, no one forces you to necessarily say something when, for example, a friend has a problem.

It is not necessary to support another person only in difficult moments, but also in moments of joy when he manages to start or complete an important business. Supporting a person ONLY in difficult times, one involuntarily creates a feeling of a one-sided relationship (for me, it is only important when you have difficult periods in your life).

If you want to support another person with words, but don’t know what to say, ask yourself the question - “if I had the same situation, what words of support would I like to hear”? Write them down. If there are several options, what - just wonderful - there are plenty to choose from. Then, listening to your feelings, and choose what “catches” you more.

There are people who deliberately do not say words of support, purely for their own materialistic reasons. A case from practice comes to mind in which a woman said that her husband did not support her interests and desires.

—Sometimes, he just opposes satisfying my needs and sets his own terms..
— I have a feeling that if he supported you in your ideas, interests, then you could even move mountains., - I said.
— Yes, but when he forbids me to do anything myself, I don’t want to create a conflict, and I stop wanting.
— I also have a feeling that he is simply afraid that you will become independent, because it is beneficial for him that you are dependent on him - this is how he feels his own. I also have a feeling that he satisfies his needs at the expense of you.
— Yes.

I have met people for whom it is so difficult to speak words of support that they choose to remain silent, or even talk nonsense. Not only are they unable to talk about support, they also manage to demand it for themselves from other people in various ways. This is not the limit of arrogance, it is a property of character, which is based on the parent-child relationship, which is perceived as the ultimate arrogance.

There are still people who do everything to the maximum in order to get support, recognition. They try to be good, to meet someone's expectations (sometimes created by their own imagination), to look appropriate (and what will they think of me), in order to satisfy the need for recognition. At the same time, when they receive support, recognition, attention, they behave as if no one showed interest in them. It seems that they remain forever emotionally "hungry", unable to accept what they need, and what they so carefully try to get from other people in a relationship. But that is another story…

Funeral words of encouragement

Several times I attended the funerals of my relatives and friends, acquaintances and not so much, and I can say with confidence that the words of support at the funeral, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, are superfluous. At the same time, support and assistance in organizing a funeral, material support, or just being nearby is very important. I think that there are no universal words of support that could calm someone who is experiencing the trauma of loss.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there are situations when our relatives, close people or friends need support, because they experience strong emotional experiences. The normal and right desire of anyone in such a case would be the desire to help. But at such a delicate moment, it is important that it be correct and effective. To do this, you need to know how to behave so as not to harm and really support a person in difficult times.

Allow and help to express emotions. Strong emotions and feelings should not be suppressed, help to do everything so that the person expresses what is in his soul. It doesn't matter if it's grief or joy, resentment or disappointment. Until all emotions are thrown out, your interlocutor will not feel relief, and his condition will not improve. Sometimes a person can simply withdraw into the world of his experiences. Provoke him, piss him off, or, conversely, delicately start a conversation and watch for a reaction.
Offer your help. No one can restore peace of mind and harmony overnight, but everyone can help with real deeds. Therefore, offer something that can alleviate the serious condition of a person. For example, cleaning the house, preparing food, going to the store. Try to help regularly until the difficult stage is overcome.
Try to be around. It's no secret that at such moments a friend needs you more than ever. Stay with them for as long as you can afford. Try to eliminate the source of suffering or things that may remind you of it. You should not say banal common phrases from the series “everything will definitely be fine” or “wait, time heals”. Just show that this person is very important to you, how you appreciate, love and respect him.
Let the person talk. Show tolerance and patience, listening to everything that the interlocutor wants to tell you. Believe me, being the right and good listener is a special art. And, despite the fact that he will mainly speak, your reaction should express complete participation and understanding, as well as support.
Try to distract from sad thoughts. Try at least for a while to distract the person from the experiences or thoughts that prevent him from returning to normal life. Invite him to take a walk in the park, go to the cinema or theater, cafe, here you should rely on the tastes of a friend. However, remember the appropriateness, if a person in mourning do not invite him to entertainment events.
Give the right advice. If you successfully managed to pass the moment of emotional discharge and listening to experiences in the form of a monologue, the person cried enough and spoke out. The time has come to give advice, but not in a recommendatory form, but rather simply share your thoughts about the current situation and ways out of it. At such moments, you have an advantage in sobriety of mind and the ability to reason sensibly, without unnecessary emotions. By such behavior, you show genuine concern and concern for a loved one. And if he is suddenly wrong in his thoughts or actions, he cannot get himself together, it's time for him to carefully hint about this so that he is not mistaken.
Be forgiving and as patient as possible. In such difficult moments, you should not show anger, irritability, nervousness or temper. Think about the fact that a person in moments of spiritual discomfort, worries, negative thoughts is sometimes simply not able to control himself and control the situation.
Act on the moment. In the process of communication, you yourself will understand what else can help a friend. Each person is individual, relationships between people are also unique and do not lend themselves to standards or patterns.

What words of support can be said in difficult times?

Support words in difficult times, when a person is in a difficult emotional state, are no less important than actions. Psychologists say that words seem to connect you with reality, do not allow you to fall into the abyss of unrest. They give the feeling that you are not alone with the problem, that there is someone who understands, supports, shares the bitterness of experiences.

Probably there are no universal words of comfort and support for all people, but an attentive and caring attitude to the problems of one's neighbor is in itself a wonderful support. Do not think that these words are not important to the interlocutor, that he does not notice them and can do without them.

The best words of support will be sincere, coming from the heart and soul. If you are also experiencing bitterness, pain, worrying about a loved one, you should not say stereotyped phrases. Often they can not console, but, on the contrary, exacerbate suffering.

If your words do not come from the heart, you do not know how and what to say, just be silent. Believe me, if you force yourself to say something without sincerity and openness, it is incredibly felt and perceived as false and nothing more.

How to support a person when he is sick?

At the time of illness, any person needs care, attention and support of loved ones. To do this, it is important to show and make it clear how much you love him, how much you value him.

If the disease has disrupted your plans for work, leisure or personal life, explain that his condition will not become a burden for you, so that taking care of him is more important.

If the illness is not serious, cheer up the person in a comic form that you are waiting for his speedy recovery. Agree that after discharge you will go to your favorite or simply interesting place, for example, to a cafe or for a walk. Words that a sick colleague is missing at work are also great support. Try to spend as much time as possible with the patient, telling him about the news, ask his opinion or advice.

Come up with a joint activity or business that would bring pleasant emotions and joy to the patient, at the time of illness it is important not to feel lonely and unnecessary.

You can also distract the patient from the disease, creating a cozy atmosphere in the room where he is. If it's a hospital, bring things from home, a photo of your family, books, colorful pillows, or your favorite flower. If at home, just make a nice gift by showing care.

But how to support a person who suffers from a serious illness? Here it is worth simply to please the patient with trifles, maintaining a good mood and not letting him “give up”. He must know that tomorrow will surely come and be better. Talk to them every day about the fact that he will be cured, perhaps, tell examples of people who successfully coped with the disease.

How to help a loved one?

A special attitude should be shown when your soulmate or loved one is unpleasant. But to support in such a situation is not as easy as it seems, because your opinion about the problem may differ from the perception of your partner.

It is said that it is easier for men to understand how to comfort women. It is no secret that ladies are characterized by excessive emotionality, they love not only to talk in detail about situations, but also to express their feelings and experiences. Here, a man just needs to listen, carefully and sincerely. Psychologists note that the most common mistake of the stronger sex is that, having recognized the problem, they immediately look for its solution.

Alas, such tactics are erroneous, a woman needs to be pitied and reassured. And only after that try to solve the issue or understand how to do it right. Often, real action is not required, the opportunity to speak out, to get an understanding that they are ready to help you at any moment is more important for a woman.

If, in a couple, a difficult moment in a man’s life has come, a woman needs to gain wisdom and patience. Some guys perceive problems as new lessons and experience, while others perceive them as a collapse. There is only one rule here, do not try to find out more than your loved one is ready to tell. Sometimes the support of a man can manifest itself in the form of completely ignoring the problem, act as if nothing happened, try to please with little things.

Allow and help to express emotions. Strong emotions and feelings should not be suppressed, help to do everything so that the person expresses what is in his soul. It doesn't matter if it's grief or joy, resentment or disappointment. Until all emotions are thrown out, your interlocutor will not feel relief, and his condition will not improve. Sometimes a person can simply withdraw into the world of his experiences. Provoke him, piss him off, or, conversely, delicately start a conversation and watch for a reaction.
Offer your help. No one can restore peace of mind and harmony overnight, but everyone can help with real deeds. Therefore, offer something that can alleviate the serious condition of a person. For example, cleaning the house, preparing food, going to the store. Try to help regularly until the difficult stage is overcome.
Try to be around. It's no secret that at such moments a friend needs you more than ever. Stay with them for as long as you can afford. Try to eliminate the source of suffering or things that may remind you of it. You should not say banal common phrases from the series “everything will definitely be fine” or “wait, time heals”. Just show that this person is very important to you, how you appreciate, love and respect him.
Let the person talk. Show tolerance and patience, listening to everything that the interlocutor wants to tell you. Believe me, being the right and good listener is a special art. And, despite the fact that he will mainly speak, your reaction should express complete participation and understanding, as well as support.
Try to distract from sad thoughts. Try at least for a while to distract the person from the experiences or thoughts that prevent him from returning to normal life. Invite him to take a walk in the park, go to the cinema or theater, cafe, here you should rely on the tastes of a friend. However, remember the appropriateness, if a person in mourning do not invite him to entertainment events.
Give the right advice. If you successfully managed to pass the moment of emotional discharge and listening to experiences in the form of a monologue, the person cried enough and spoke out. The time has come to give advice, but not in a recommendatory form, but rather simply share your thoughts about the current situation and ways out of it. At such moments, you have an advantage in sobriety of mind and the ability to reason sensibly, without unnecessary emotions. By such behavior, you show genuine concern and concern for a loved one. And if he is suddenly wrong in his thoughts or actions, he cannot get himself together, it's time for him to carefully hint about this so that he is not mistaken.
Be forgiving and as patient as possible. In such difficult moments, you should not show anger, irritability, nervousness or temper. Think about the fact that a person in moments of spiritual discomfort, worries, negative thoughts is sometimes simply not able to control himself and control the situation.
Act on the moment. In the process of communication, you yourself will understand what else can help a friend. Each person is individual, relationships between people are also unique and do not lend themselves to standards or patterns.

What words of support can be said in difficult times?

How to support a person when he is sick?

At the time of illness, any person needs care, attention and support of loved ones. To do this, it is important to show and make it clear how much you love him, how much you value him.

If the disease has disrupted your plans for work, leisure or personal life, explain that his condition will not become a burden for you, so that taking care of him is more important.

Come up with a joint activity or business that would bring pleasant emotions and joy to the patient, at the time of illness it is important not to feel lonely and unnecessary.