Candy bouquet period as it should be. Candy-bouquet period in a relationship - stages. And what does a man get from courtship

The most desirable and exciting time in a love relationship is the candy-bouquet period. It must contain a huge number of gifts and pleasant experiences, and this is an indispensable part for conquering the heart of a woman. After all, when a man shows signs of attention, presents gifts, makes small surprises, then the woman begins to reciprocate. It is important to remember that this very pleasant period will end sooner or later, but this does not mean the end of the relationship itself - this is just their first stage.

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What is the candy-bouquet period?

The candy-bouquet period is the first stage in a relationship, starting with an acquaintance or a first date between a man and a woman. At this moment, the couple takes a step towards a serious relationship, so such a period is almost always inevitable.

Its difference lies in the fact that lovers strive:

• see each other as often as possible;
• learn everything about each other;
• make pleasant surprises;
• become one.

At the beginning of such a period, a guy and a girl try to be close all the time, because the couple is very interested in spending time together; as soon as they part, they begin to miss each other. It is during this period that various gifts and surprises that a man makes come to the fore: a joint walk, kisses and hugs.

During the candy-bouquet period of relationships, hormones are released into the brain that cause love, awaken passion and sexual desire.

A person does not have to make any effort to be attracted to a partner, although he often idealizes a lover. Indeed, at this time, he seems to be the best, good and kind, so the desire to exclusively positive emotions wakes up, to help and give love and care.

Many couples are trying to return this wonderful time, when the initial period of the relationship is left behind and the previous feelings are no longer felt, the increased attention to each other disappears. After a while, a man ceases to pay due attention to his companion and delight her with pleasant surprises. As a result, a woman's feeling of boundless happiness disappears, so she ceases to take care of herself to the fullest, forgets that she must always be beautiful for her beloved.

When people don't realize that they were initially swayed by their own hormones, they begin to believe that the relationship faded with the period of constant dating.

Stages of the candy-bouquet period

This period of relationship can be divided into several stages.



First

At this stage, the couple begins to recognize each other from all sides. Both completely surrender to feelings, feel happiness and joy when they are nearby and prepare surprises for each other. After the first meeting, the next one is immediately scheduled. At the same time, they don’t care where they meet and where they go - at these moments, very little is needed for absolute happiness.

It is not difficult to judge the transition to the next stage of the relationship: the woman herself begins to resort to the initiative regarding meetings and spending time together.



Second

At this time, it does not matter who will be the first to call or write. No need to pay attention to the stereotype that a woman should not be imposed. She has the right to be the first to invite her lover on a date or call to chat. It is natural and there is nothing shameful in it.

But it pays to hold on to it a little. Otherwise, frequent calls and control can scare and repel a man. When a partner does not pick up the phone, this does not mean that you need to call him a hundred times - he is busy and will call back as soon as he can.

Third

In the previous stages, the couple always has enough time to get to know each other and summarize their own opinions. In the third stage, an important step is the introduction of the second half to friends. It is the social circle that allows you to fully get to know your partner, his hobbies and behavior with other people.

The best behavior when meeting parents or friends is laid-back. Do not try to be better or pretend, because this always leads to disgust and disappointment when the whole truth comes out. It is important when communicating with family and friends to show respect and tolerance towards them, to try to get along.

Sooner or later, the candy-bouquet period passes, and relationships reach a new level.

Duration

The duration of such a period is on average 1-2 years. But for each couple, everything is individual: for some, relationships come to a standstill after a couple of months, and for someone, such a manifestation of feelings still persists for many years, when the couple becomes already a full-fledged family.

The year or two in which the first period of the relationship continues is just an approximate figure. The main thing is that the partners have a desire to maintain those mutual feelings that brought them together at the beginning of the novel. Then the relationship will be strong and long.

The duration of this stage of the relationship depends on the initial ideas about your partner, which are always figurative. Many do not overcome the milestone when all the flaws, nuances of character and style of behavior become visible.

To avoid such troubles and not be disappointed in the choice after a while, you should simply give each other more time. Throwing yourself into the pool with your head, without really knowing anything about your partner, is very dangerous. It is better to take a closer look and verify your own feelings.

Further development of relations

It is worth noting that after the candy-bouquet period, relationships cease to be so rosy. This indicates the onset of the next stage - satiety. At this time, hormones and feelings calm down a little, a person begins to notice not only the positive qualities of a partner, but also negative ones. There is a kind of mutual addiction. A more relaxed and uninhibited behavior would be appropriate.

The transition to a new stage guarantees the beginning of the first quarrels and misunderstandings, when lovers begin to notice each other's shortcomings more often. For this reason, many couples break up after the candy-bouquet period. But this is not a way out of the situation, because with a new acquaintance you will have to go through all the same steps as with the previous one.

The period of passion and adoration (candy-bouquet period) lasts approximately 20 months. When a guy and a girl start dating, they produce a huge amount of different hormones in their blood that contribute to the perception of the world in "!pink", in all the bright and colorful colors of the rainbow.

At this moment, the partners are satisfied with everything in each other and the voice, and appearance and actions. At the same time, all the shortcomings of each other are perceived as an amazing phenomenon, as an individual and rather good feature of each of them. In this period, a person is as if under the influence of dope. But, like the action of any psychotropic drugs, all this ends, everything falls into place, and another period of relations begins, and we will talk about this below. You can also add that during this period you can not make any important decisions, as they can turn against you.

The next stage is the satiety period. At this stage, a person begins to soberly assess the situation, as well as to look at his partner with normal eyes. This is accompanied by a more relaxed behavior, studying each other, one might say in a new way.

After that, an obligatory stage in the development of relations follows, such as antipathy towards each other. During this period, a huge number of quarrels and insults happen, mostly over trifles. It is not uncommon for people to break up precisely at this period in the development of relationships. But to do this, in principle, is pointless, since you will find yourself a new partner, and everything will definitely start all over again.

Next comes patience. During this period, quarrels and conflicts still occur, but much less frequently. People at this stage of the relationship understand that quarrels go away, reconciliation occurs, and the relationship continues. There is such a law of nature, the essence of which is that patience and obedience bring you wisdom.

The next stage is the stage of respect and mutual understanding. From this stage, true pure love begins. People try to take care of each other, thinking not about what he needs, but about his beloved, the benefits and their own desires fade into the background.

And, of course, all this is followed by love! This is a very difficult period, here you have to try to keep, not to lose that invisible, but already strong enough thread that connects you. At this stage, people are completely devoid of egoism, as they already clearly perceive each other as a single whole.

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Source - "Science-Psychology"

1. candy-bouquet stage lasts approximately 18 months
When a man and a woman meet each other and fall in love, certain hormones are produced in their bodies that contribute to the perception of the world in bright colors. At this moment, everything in a person seems beautiful: appearance, voice, even character flaws seem amazing. The person seems to be in a state of drug intoxication. During this period, in no case should you make any fateful decisions, since the effect of this drug will end sooner or later, and everything will fall into place.

2. The next stage is satiety
The storm of feelings and emotions subsides, you begin to soberly assess the pros and cons of your partner. You begin to get used to each other, behave more naturally and relaxed.

3. The third stage - disgust
It is required for any long-term relationship. In the phase of disgust, quarrels begin, as if you are concentrating solely on each other's shortcomings. The easiest and at the same time the worst way out is separation or divorce. What's bad about it? You will abandon time-tested relationships and, in addition, soon enter in candy-bouquet stage with another partner, and everything will start over.

4. The next step is patience
Quarrels and disagreements between partners happen, but they are no longer so fatal, since both know that the quarrel will end and the relationship will be restored again. If partners make efforts to develop patience, then along with patience comes wisdom. This is the law of nature. So, at this stage partners acquire wisdom.

5. The fifth stage is the stage of duty or respect. This is also the first stage of love!
In fact, there was no love before that. At this stage, each partner begins to think not about what he should, but about what he himself should do for his loved one. Understanding one's duties develops a person.

6. Stage six - friendship
You have truly become close and dear to each other. You trust each other like your closest friends. Friendship is a serious preparation for love.

7. Stage seven - love
True love is not easy. They go to her for a very long time. Love is learned through all sorts of life situations in long-term and intimate relationships. True love is not something that suddenly falls on your head, as is commonly believed. For real, adult love, a person matures, refusing selfishness and prejudice.

People choose their own husband or wife. But in order to experience true love in family life, you need to get to know each other well, then make friends, and then fall in love. Many couples consider first love candy-bouquet period. But as soon as the romance goes away, and rose-colored glasses fall off, the first difficulties begin, the first tests of the relationship. And someone thinks - love has passed.

There are all tastes in love: sweet and salty, tart and astringent, bitter and even sour. Devotion and patience are the main qualities of love. If you decide that “love is over” in your relationship, be sure that it has not yet begun.

Most of us know the state of being in love. The colors become brighter, the world becomes magical as in childhood, but when the bouquet-and-candy period expires, something starts to happen for some couples.

Psychotherapy finds its own explanations for this. For example, the "god and frog" effect. Whenwe see God in our beloved and adore them, as we become aware of their shortcomings - their human nature - adoration disappears. Old trick: "Kiss a god and he turns into a frog."

If this is indeed the problem, then the spiritual solution to it is to learn to see our partners in the “perfect light”, even when they fall short of our expectations. There are also happy couples, although they are far from the face of saints.

You can ask yourself the question: “Does either of us in a couple think that the other should change?” And it doesn't matter which partner criticizes the other. When we are criticized, it means that we subconsciously believe that we deserve it. When we criticize, we take the position of the victim. In any case, such relationships are non-functional.

There are other reasons for relationship problems. For example, for people following the spiritual path, there are relationships that simply fall apart when all the lessons are learned and the karmic knots are untied, when one person needs to find a new partner to fulfill his mission or abandon partners altogether.

There is such a theory - "the theory of Mars and Venus." There is always someone who loves more in a failed relationship. Complaints of "loving more" are something like this:

• He doesn't want sex anymore.
• She never spends time with me.
• She only cares about her mother.
• He never remembers significant dates.
• She no longer tells me that she loves me.
• He never talks to me.
• She has a romance on the side.

Those who love more think they are exemplary.

There is another theory of love relationships, which considers the problem more broadly than the previous ones. It is called "the theory of emotional and physical sexuality."

This theory was developed in the late 1950s by Dr. John Kappas, a renowned psychotherapist. The theory takes into account the fact that each partner wants something different from the relationship. The only thing that is needed is simply to understand your sexuality within this system.

There is physical-sexual and emotional-sexual behavior. It's about behaviorwhich develops after the bouquet-candy period. At this stage, we all act in much the same way.

This does not apply to the behavior of people who have already overcome feelings of fear and guilt and enter into love relationships on the basis of integrity. When guilt and fear cease to play any role, this whole system collapses, we regain our childish lightness and grace.

"Physical sexuality" is a term that suits a "more in love" partner. People with this behavior tend to view love in terms of actions:

• Is she at home when I call?
• Does he send me flowers?
• How often will she have sex?
• Does he remember our anniversary?
• Did she have an orgasm?
• Does he say he loves me?
• Is she gentle with me physically?
• Does he tell me that he likes the way I look?

Thus, "physicals" tend to want as much sex as they can get from their partners, and when they don't get enough, they feel rejected. For example, if the partner called every day and suddenly missed one day.

If they hear "I love you" twice a day, they hope to hear it twice a day now and forever, and if they suddenly do not hear it, they interpret it as a loss of love. As long as the "emotional" adheres to a certain regimen, the "physical" feels safe.

For such a person, love is the decisive factor, and the rest is not important. Physical-sexual people always attract their natural opposite, emotional people (and react only to them).

Physical-sexual behavior is caused by rejection. The more they feel rejected, the more in love.

When the partner of the physical begins to pay less attention, the physical interprets this as rejection and becomes obsessed with trying to get the other to return to the old behavior. This creates a feeling of guilt that drives them further away.

The "emotional" has a list of priorities, and his career is always at the top of it. Some emotionally sexual women make a "career" in marriage when they want more money and prestige, not more time for their spouse or sex.

The second position in the list of priorities of "emotional" is usually occupied by the family. Then children, hobbies, and the spouse or lover comes last. This does not mean that they do not care about their partners or that they do not love them very much. It simply means that they tend to make time for everything else first.

If the “physical” motivation is rejection, then the “emotional” ones have a sense of guilt. Deep down, they feel they don't meet the demands of a relationship. The more guilty they feel, the less interested they are in intimacy - and the harder it is for them to leave!

Sometimes, in an attempt to win over his spouse again, the "physical-sexual" starts an affair on the side and makes sure that the partner knows about it for sure. More often, "emotional" feel only relief when their partners go to the side. No more guilt! This may allow them to end the relationship.

But if they are married, they usually do not go anywhere, but simply allow themselves to start novels - if they have not done this before. It is the "physical" who chooses divorce in most cases.

Interestingly, "emotional" people have their own sex cycle, while "physical" people do not! The sexual cycle of "emotional" is usually three days. That is, he is open for sexual relations every third day. Often the cycle time is more than three days, but almost never less.

The most desirable and intriguing in a love relationship is the candy-bouquet period. Based on the name itself, we can say that this period is marked by a large number of "candies" and "bouquets of flowers", which is an obligatory stage in conquering a woman's heart. If a man gives a woman gifts, compliments and signs of attention, then a woman also gives a man her attention, disposition, cheerful mood and upcoming opportunities.

We can say that absolutely all love relationships, regardless of their duration, begin with a candy-bouquet period. The main feature of this period is acquaintance. Partners get to know each other, begin to build plans and hopes for each other, and whether they are realized or not, time will tell.

The candy-bouquet period, according to the experts of the psychological help website, is:

• Acquaintance with a new person who is unknown, interesting, unpredictable, which causes intrigue.
• A period of building hopes and prospects that are possible in the future. However, the very fact that a person can dream gives him a lot of positive emotions.
• A time of various positive emotions associated with an exceptionally good disposition of a person. Partners in this period are trying to demonstrate the exclusively positive and good qualities of their personalities. They pay attention, give gifts, make compliments, spend time carefree.
• The period when partners are not yet united by life, life problems and difficulties.
• The time when the partner is still so unfamiliar that he seems the most ideal. Moreover, he tries to be perfect, because only by demonstrating good qualities can you fall in love with yourself.

And most importantly, only in the candy-bouquet period do people feel exciting feelings in the form of anticipation, expectations and all the best. It is during this period that people fall in love with each other, because they are not yet familiar with the shortcomings of partners. They experience passion because it arises against the backdrop of novelty and interest in a person who seems to be quite a fascinating person. Here sex becomes very passionate and unpredictable.

• Is it worth saying that the candy-bouquet period is the most desired time in a relationship? It can be compared to the honeymoon after the wedding, which also, unfortunately, does not last very long. It is during these periods that people relax together, enjoy life, do only good deeds for each other and give each other only positive emotions.
• Is it worth saying that the candy-bouquet period is so attractive for people that they then want to return to the relationship those feelings that they experienced at the beginning for the rest of the time? People do not understand that passions and love based on hormones raging in the body cannot last forever. Over time, these experiences pass, leaving people alone with each other and the need to make a decision already with the mind whether to maintain a relationship or leave, because in fact they are no longer interested in each other. However, people suffer in relationships if they want to return the emotions that they experienced at the beginning, which is absolutely impossible, unless you start dating new people.
• Needless to say, the candy-bouquet period can be so desirable for people that they will unconsciously break off relationships immediately after it ends in order to start dating other people, artificially creating new candy-bouquet periods. A person who longs for a serious relationship should be prepared for the fact that the candy-bouquet period will pass, which means that feelings of novelty, passion, love, and “pink glasses” will disappear. If a person is ready every year to look for a new partner with whom he will again experience the candy-bouquet period, then he will never create a serious relationship and family.

Due to all the attractiveness of the candy-bouquet period, we can say that. They do not break off relations that have been developing with their loved ones for a long time, but they miss love, passion, novelty so much that they decide to have an affair on the side. Lovers and mistresses are needed only in order to find yourself again in the candy-bouquet period, when:

1. A woman again wants to dress up, make up, glow with happiness, be in love and feel like a sexy, desirable man.
2. A man wants to be a hero, tell various fantastic stories to a woman in order to win her heart, feel needed and interesting, receive signs of attention and loving glances.

The candy-bouquet period can be compared to the honeymoon that comes after the wedding. That is why many people in love, when their candy-bouquet period passes, immediately begin to think about the wedding, because after it new sensations will arise:

• They will become husband and wife.
• They will be able to live in a separate apartment or run a joint household.
• They will become independent from their parents.
• They will be able to go on a trip or to the sea, which will be provided by their relatives.
• They will receive a lot of money as a gift, which will allow them to chic and have fun for a while without thinking about anything.

However, the candy-bouquet period and the honeymoon are so bad that they end quickly enough. Novelty, passion, falling in love, a sense of the unknown and curiosity quickly get fed up. The money is running out. The desire to build an exclusively “positive person” out of oneself also disappears. And the partners are gradually returning to normal life, where they need to earn a living, solve problems, eliminate disagreements and misunderstandings among themselves, get along with habits and even negative character traits that were initially hidden.

If people are not ready for the fact that all positive experiences will pass with the departure of the candy-bouquet period and honeymoon, then they begin to think that everything is over between them, love has passed, nothing unites them anymore. If people understand that everything was based on hormones and a sense of novelty, then they can readjust and start getting used to each other when all the passions pass and they have to learn to live with partners in the real world.

What is the candy-bouquet period?

The candy-bouquet period is the first stage in a relationship, which begins on the first day of meeting or dating a couple in love and ends when partners start a serious relationship in everyday life or come to live together. The candy-bouquet period always occurs at the birth of a relationship. It differs in that the partners want to spend as much time as possible together, look at each other with admiration, and try to merge into a single whole.

If we recall children's ideas about love, when a guy and a girl want to be together always and everywhere, then this is typical of the candy-bouquet period, when partners do not want to part for a minute, because they are so interested in spending time together that they start to get bored from the very first minute of parting.

It is in the candy-bouquet period that various gifts that a man makes to a woman come to the fore, walks alone, kisses and touches of various kinds that excite and pleasantly excite.

It is during the period of sweets and bouquets that the release of hormones in the brain occurs, which cause love, passionate and sexual desire, interest and curiosity. In other words, a person does not even need to do anything to simply be attracted to a partner whom he usually idealizes. A partner at the stage of the candy-bouquet period always seems to be the most ideal, good and worthy. Therefore, he wants to give only positive emotions, to please him, to please and amuse.

At this stage, a person falls head over heels in love, so he is ready to give his partner everything he has. He does not think about taking, he is determined only to give. That is why this period is filled with sincerity and romance.

Is it any wonder that after all of the above, people want to return the initial experiences back when the candy-bouquet period passes and they no longer experience the same feelings and desires, do not see in their address all that was done for them before? The guy eventually stops paying a lot of attention and making numerous gifts. The girl ceases to be infinitely happy and ceases to make herself beautiful, always sexy and ready to please the eye. If people don't understand that they were driven by hormones, then they will assume that their relationship ended with the end of the candy-bouquet period - when hormones stop being produced in the amount that they were produced at the beginning of the relationship.

This is what attracts this period, that people do not need to do anything, but only obey their own impulses and enjoy pleasant events.

Candy-bouquet period in a relationship

Love relationships go through several stages of their development. To come to true love, people must live a long time together and go through all the stages, the first of which is the candy-bouquet period.

How long it will last, each couple is different. Some go through it in a month, others stay in it for up to a year. However, it ends sooner or later, because it is caused solely by those hormones that are produced in the brain and make people experience certain emotions and do pleasant things.

Psychologists do not recommend engaging in serious business and making fateful decisions during the candy-bouquet period, since euphoric emotions will not allow a person to adequately assess the situation and see the unsightly sides. This is especially true of the decision to get married with your soulmate. It is better to take this step when the candy-bouquet period has already passed and when you have become acquainted with the shortcomings of your soulmate. Only with a conscious decision to put up with the shortcomings and unpleasant habits of your soulmate can we say that a marriage can exist for a long time. The partner must make the same conscious decision.

The candy-bouquet period itself can be divided into several stages:

1. The first stage is when a man takes the initiative to see a woman, gives her gifts, fascinates with himself.
2. At the second stage, the woman herself can already show some initiative, for example, where to go for a walk.
3. At the third stage, it does not matter to the partners who was the first to invite to a meeting or called, wrote an SMS. Here you should be wise, because the partner may be busy with some business and not answer the call. It doesn't mean that he doesn't like you. He's just busy at the moment, so he'll call you back when he's free.
4. At the fourth stage, partners introduce each other to their friends.
5. At the fifth stage, partners get acquainted with relatives, in particular with each other's parents. This is possible only if the partners have already decided that they will meet seriously.

During all this time, partners constantly get to know each other. They are interested only because each time they encounter new actions and qualities of each other, situations and events that they decide together.

As soon as the candy-bouquet period passes, quarrels arise in a couple. They become fatal, because the partners react sharply enough to the fact that they begin to conflict, which was not the case before. And quarrels arise only because the partners are finally starting to take off their “rose-colored glasses” and see shortcomings in each other, something that was not noticed before, so as not to cloud their ideal ideas about each other.

If partners go through this period of quarrels and dissatisfaction with each other, when it seems to them that they need to leave, because they did not know about the presence of shortcomings in each other, then closeness arises - a sincere understanding of each other. Partners are finally getting to know each other for real, already resigning themselves to some shortcomings and habits that previously caused resentment and a desire to leave.

Some people believe that everything that happens to them during the candy-bouquet period is love. Psychologists, on the other hand, say that true love is born only after the candy-bouquet period and after going through all the fatal quarrels, when the relationship persists and the partners still continue to live together. Romance does not depend on feelings, but on the actions of the people themselves. In the candy-bouquet period, it is created as if by itself, because people do not notice how they form it with their actions. When emotions and feelings subside, romance can be created, but already consciously.

In order for relationships to be maintained and last for a long time, psychologists give the following advice:

1. Show respect and understanding for each other. Pay attention, hear each other when resolving conflicts, compromise.
2. Go to different places besides home and relax together.
3. Maintain your independence from your partner. Also, let your partner be independent from you and go about their business, have their friends and interests.

Outcome

Undoubtedly, the candy-bouquet period is the most attractive, simply because people do not have to make an effort. They are subordinate to their hormones, which cause them certain desires and emotions. However, sooner or later this period passes. And then, the relationship will continue and what it will be, already depends on the partners themselves, what decisions they will make and what they will do when faced with the real images of each other, take off the “rose-colored glasses” and just live together.