Who in the family should be the initiator of intimacy? Women's initiative in sex: To be or not to be absolutely all love and married couples

18:13 / 01 July 2017

The opinions of the inhabitants of Novorossiysk today diverged

Victor, 34 years old:

At the initial stage of the relationship, the initiative should come from the man. He is a knight, achieves and takes. Later, when the relationship has already passed the candy-bouquet stage, it’s very good when the first woman begins to caress. It's nice to wake up when your beloved covers your body with kisses. This supports the confidence in a man that he is needed, they want him even without snotty SMS and without everyday gifts.

Tamara, 25 years old:

The initiative for sex should be shown by the one who wanted it. And the gender factor is not important here at all. Why? Because it's logical. Otherwise, she should not be the first to call, and write, and call somewhere. But, apparently, she should die in an apartment with 50 cats ...

Anfisa, 45 years old:

A woman can then (especially when it comes to the beginning of a relationship) take the initiative when she is sure that a man is not indifferent. Otherwise - just draining yourself.

Enyo, 27 years old:

A man, but here you need to somehow feel the moment, so as not to disgrace yourself. But in principle it does not matter, in the sense of who is the first. Usually, everything somehow happens mutually, well, like you meet, go to a cafe, eat corn on the embankment, invite you home to watch a film by Bergman or Trier there, and somehow everything sticks together by itself. I do not think that if a woman takes the initiative first, then this is bad, except in cases of blue ink or outright harassment, when the desire is not mutual.

Svetlana, 24 years old:

A man and only a man. Because woe is that man who cannot seduce a woman. And in general, if a girl is aimed at a serious relationship, then after sex, to which she herself took the initiative, it will be difficult for her to transfer the relationship into a serious direction. Well, if this is a holiday romance, and both partners understand that it will all end on some azure shore, then it doesn’t matter who took the initiative. The main thing is that they get pleasure from sex.

Arseniy, 28 years old:

Mood, I guess. This is the same thing - for emotional release and raising the mood. So, who needs it now, let him take the initiative. I'm talking about normal relationships. And if we are talking about a one-time chokhen-pokhen, then both partners give conditional consent when they get to know each other and flirt - they play, although both understand how the whole thing will end.

Elena, 26 years old:

Both! And the more often, the better!

Marina, 29 years old:

Who wants more, he should! After all, it’s like with us - he didn’t declare his intentions in time, he was left without everything!

Gennady, 27 years old:

Weird question. Who wants to fuck someone - he should be the first.

Ekaterina, 27 years old:

The first must be a man. He is the leader in relationships and in the family. And a man should be the first to show feelings, because if a woman takes the first step all the time, then the man does not appreciate and does not love her. By nature, men should seek their ladies, they are used to fighting for her attention. If this does not happen, then the man degenerates, lies on the sofa in a dirty T-shirt, drinks beer and watches football, and then yells: “Prepare borscht, woman!” It should not be. Let him run after his lady all his life and achieve her.

Why does a man always have to make the first move to seduce a woman? Take the pleasure into your own hands and finally show the initiative. We'll tell you how.

Change roles

If earlier the spouse was the instigator, then this time do the opposite. Wait for the right moment (when your man is not busy with anything, and the children are sleeping), go up to him and directly say what you would like at the moment. For example, "I want you to undress me right here" or in an imperative tone, you will need to kiss yourself, and then lie down together on the bed. Believe me, a man will understand what they want from him. In addition, with our actions, it is we who set the tone and mood for the evening, which means that everything will go the way you want.

play around

A great option for foreplay. Send your spouse a playful SMS in which you will announce in a veiled form what is waiting for him this evening. Or take the initiative and arrange an intimate correspondence in which you tell about your sexual fantasies and desires. We are sure that your husband will hardly endure until the end of the working day, so as not to pounce on you right from the doorstep!

Make plans for the evening

Set your loved one in a romantic mood in the morning. For example, lay out the sexiest set of underwear on a made bed. To his questions about the kit, smile mysteriously and say that he will find out about everything at night.

Such announcements incredibly turn on men, and to a greater extent, not only from the fact that he fantasizes everything in the world for himself, but also from the fact that he sees in you a bold and determined seductress, with whom he will definitely not refuse to communicate closely.

dress up

Tease your lover by walking in front of him in stockings and other sexy clothes. The option with stockings in combination with ordinary casual clothes works great (especially convenient if the schoolchildren have already gone to school, and you are left alone and going to work). As if by chance, expose a small part of the body, and he will definitely appreciate it - quick sex before leaving the house.


Offer to try something new

New poses, techniques and additional accessories for love games - all this will help diversify your sex life and add many bright moments of pleasure to it. And what an effective remedy against the routine in a relationship!

Invite your spouse to experiment in bed and temporarily abandon their usual poses and scenarios. Let everything go spontaneously. We are sure that he will enthusiastically begin to conquer new sexual horizons.

Get a massage

Almost all men dream of a slow and sensual massage with a continuation. True, if he did not work the shift, after which he could snore on the pillow from any touch.

Should a woman be active in a sexual relationship with a man? Recent studies unambiguously answered yes. Men like it when a woman is sexually active.

Men believe that female sexuality should be manifested in an intriguing appearance, hints, touches. Among the respondents, there were also men who agreed to the complete dominance of women. Many representatives of the stronger sex are unhappy with the sexual behavior of their chosen ones. They would be happy to see more interest on their part.

But women are in no hurry to listen to men's requests. Very often they do exactly the opposite. They give all the initiative to a man and wait for him to bring them to the heights of bliss. It is these female expectations that often cause the collapse of relationships.

Why are women not ready to be active?

There are many reasons for this. Someone still believes that a woman should be restrained (including in bed). Women's sexuality should not be conspicuous, they say. The postulates are firmly entrenched in their beliefs. "Domostroya". Following them, the head of the house is the husband. It is he who decides: what, where, when and how much attention, care and love are supposed to which of the family members, including. And if a woman wants a man, she has no right to speak openly about it.

Some ladies are shy and afraid that a man will misunderstand them. They expect a serious relationship and do not want to seem available. In fact, a truly loving person will appreciate the activity of the second half. He will draw the right conclusions. Otherwise, this man is not yours. (Of course, we don’t talk about sex on the first date half an hour after we met. Although this man will also draw his own conclusions.)

Another common reason why women's sexuality is repressed is the fear that a man will stop taking the initiative himself. This option is not excluded. However, this is rather the result of male laziness and a passive life position.

How can a woman take the initiative?

Relations between a man and a woman begin long before the fact of intimacy. The woman herself chooses her partner and charms him. Her win-win weapon is coquetry and flirting. It's an expression of a woman activity and initiative. The man, a conqueror by nature, reacts quickly and shows interest, which fuels female flirting .

Coquetry is not the only tool of female charm. But, if a woman wants a man and does not express her desire in any way, her chances are small. You can wait as long as you want and never wait. The stronger sex needs to be attracted, interested and captivated. This is entirely the task of beautiful ladies. Moreover, the very process of captivating and seducing her partner brings a woman much more pleasure in intimacy.

What activities should be avoided

A rare representative of the stronger sex will be against an active partner. But everywhere you need a measure. It is not worth it to solve all issues related to intimacy alone. A man does not like when he is told in an ultimatum form where, when and how much to have sex. Even if a woman wants a man here and now, it is better to tell the man about it with hints, and not in plain text and by order.

Not the best idea to offer your partner something radically new and unusual. Men are largely conservative. Therefore, it is better to recommend and try something new carefully and unobtrusively. And it’s definitely not worth making innovations in your intimate life without warning your partner. Such a "surprise" can end very sadly.

Even ancient poets described women's tricks and tricks that conquer men's hearts. Just a couple of centuries ago, it was enough to expose an ankle to make a man's heart beat faster. Now times are different and a bare ankle will surprise and hardly excite the male imagination. However, little tricks do not interfere in our days. Women's sexuality can be emphasized with fishnet underwear, stockings, corsets.

It is quite simple to hint to a beloved man about an unusual continuation of the evening. Prepare a romantic dinner, set the table, arrange candles. Delicate aromas complete the atmosphere. Your efforts will be rewarded. Do you want something unusual and not so banal? Send him a couple of messages during the day about how you would like to spend the evening with him. Believe me, your evening can start in the middle of the day!

What do you think about the women's initiative in sex? What should she be? Are there any boundaries beyond which a woman cannot or should not go. Or in sex, the rights of partners are wounded and everyone can offer what they want.

Did you land on this page by accident?

It has long been customary that the leading role in intimate married life, and just in the beginning relationship, belongs to men. Since the number of men is much smaller, they are used to making a choice between one or another applicant. Women dutifully waited and agreed with this. Now everything has changed dramatically - women are not satisfied with the passive role in life and relationships. They themselves choose this or that man and even "lead" him away from his rivals - they win. But we can say that men do not mind, they like it and even flatter it.

They are waiting for which of the fair sex is quicker and better to show themselves. Now women share the initiative with men not only at the initial stage of relationships, but also in sex.

Who should take the lead in intimate life

Most likely, the answer to this question for most of us will be - equally or alternately. Neither partner will like it if the other is indifferent, and the second turns inside out in order to please. Gone are the days when women were embarrassed to show their sexual experience, and it was considered the height of indecency to take the very first step towards intimacy with a loved one.

The manifestation of sexual interest in the second half indicates that the partner is not indifferent to him and wants to get to know him “closer”. It can also be the one of the two who has a brighter fantasy or more experience. In any case, there is nothing shameful in this if two people like each other or, moreover, are in love. Perhaps this will be the one who, at the moment of intimacy, will be in high spirits and he will come up with some new pleasant fun for the second half. Yes, and men in our time went a little strange - they are waiting for something, afraid to take the first step. Therefore, quite often the role of the instigator of intimacy falls on the female lot. The main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise it can cause some complexes in a man, and then, dear ladies, you definitely won’t wait for initiatives from him. Although most men still like to "command" in bed - in the sense of choosing positions and places of intimacy.

But it also happens that a tired husband comes home and is not even averse to giving the reins of power in sex to his beloved. However, women sometimes also want to feel weak and seduced.

In general, it does not matter who will be the first to show signs of sexual interest, the main thing is that both partners should enjoy it.

Tip 2: How do men perceive the initiative from a woman

In the modern rhythm of life, when the roles of a man and a woman have changed places, one can meet the manifestation of initiative from the weaker sex much more often than from the side of a man. But do men like it? Do they have a chance to develop a relationship in which the lady took the first step?

Types of men and their attitude to the initiative of a woman

A sanguine man is characterized by a quick change of mood, energetic. So in relationships, frequent swings are inherent in him. Such a man, in principle, can be approached first, if you catch a favorable moment for this.

The choleric man is very impulsive and often rushes from one extreme to another. This type of men rarely responds positively to women's initiative.

A man is, of course, a hunter, and choleric people, more than all other types, are conquerors.

A phlegmatic man is the most suitable specimen for taking the initiative. He is extremely slow, this also applies to the development of relations. That is why it is better for you to take the first step towards yourself if you do not want to miss your chance.

A melancholic man is an extremely complex type. It is never completely clear what he feels at the moment and what approach to choose for him.

Women and men perceive initiative quite differently. For men, this action is primarily an offer to have fun without a long-term relationship. Women most often go for it, pursuing their good old goal - marriage. In the West, such a manifestation is considered normal, while the mentality of men in Russia is significantly different.

The ideals laid down from early childhood by Russian fairy tales, on which more than one generation has grown up, instilled in men the confidence that it is a man who should start the right relationship.

Mistakes that should not be made

No need to lean too hard on a man, especially if he is older than you. Your assertiveness will simply scare him away. Disguise your initiative, push him with your actions so that he thinks that this is his decision.

A man is a conqueror by nature. He can write hot letters to you for a long time on social networks, on various forums and send SMS and back down, having received an offer to go on a date. So do not be too hasty with your initiative.

Do not take the initiative in everyday things and grandiose ideas. A man should think that it's all coming from him.

The initiative of a woman can be important if the relationship has already flowed from the stage of “just