Perceptions in different age groups about marriage. “about the purposeful destruction of traditional ideas about marriage and the family. two group feature hierarchies

About what is family, children and adolescents learn from the example of their parents' families. Over time, ideas about the ideal family are influenced by both school and communication with other people. A young man and a girl, "training" to live among people, gradually comprehend the basic principles of human society, the basic norms of morality. Then, on the basis of the knowledge gained, they form their own idea of ​​marriage, in which they will play the role of a husband or wife.

With age, having turned from a teenager into a beautiful girl or an interesting young man, young people plunge deeper into the whirlpool of life, meet new people, meet peers, visit many families, compare and observe. By observing, young people select for themselves everything that they would like to see in their own future family. And finally, HE and SHE meet. They get to know each other, go to the cinema, theater, for walks together. Young people are getting to know each other more and more and, regardless of whether they get married or not, this recognition of each other will not pass without a trace for any of them.

For the fate of the future family, the period of “walking” and the period following it “they live” (youth terminology) cannot be overestimated. They are especially important in the lives of young people if the period from the beginning of an acquaintance to the conclusion of a marriage is very short. Now this is observed all the time - even when the partners still have, for example, a long study. Young people hurry to live!

In recent years, the age of persons entering into non-marital marital unions has noticeably narrowed. The short duration and excessive frequency of concluded non-marital unions make it very difficult to form ideas about mutual rights and obligations, about a model for a future marriage - and thereby prepare future disappointments in life.

If young people are set up for a carefree, cloudless life, for walking and restaurant pastime, it can hardly be assumed that their union will be indestructible and eternal. The very first family troubles, the first lack of money may turn out to be the reef on which the family boat will break. No wonder in the old days in the villages there was a good custom - matchmaking. Until the "intelligence" of the relatives informs that this guy or this girl is hardworking, has a good character, a stable financial position, no matchmakers were sent until then.

To choose the right future husband or wife, you always need to have reliable information about your partner. But you need to know your own character well in order to solve for yourself the following questions:

1. What will I gain by getting married (married)?

2. What will I lose?

3. Do we know each other well enough for our marriage to be successful?

4. Do we have common interests and common habits?

5. What unites us and what separates us?

6. Will our relationship stand the test of everyday life?

If these questions are clear to both partners and they have no doubts, then, of course, you can go to the registry office and start a family.

Find something else of interest:

General ideas about family and marriage. - Short story
family and marriage relations. - Legal aspects
family and marriage. - Functions of the family. - Family types
One of the problems of adulthood, associated with the physiological and social needs of a person, is the creation of a family. Most people are derivatives (products) of the family, and many remain its members for almost the entire trajectory of their lives, thus, for almost every person, family members form his immediate environment throughout his life. And this environment plays a crucial role in meeting human needs, including maintaining, maintaining and strengthening both physical and mental health.
The family cannot be considered only as a biological group, it is a unit of social relations. The family is a historically changing social group, the universal features of which are heterosexual relations, a system of kinship relations, the provision and development of individual and social qualities of a person, and the implementation of certain economic activities.
From the point of view of sociology, the family is a social system that has both the features of a social institution, i.e. a stable form of organization of joint activities, as well as the features of a small social group, i.e. community, united by the performance of certain functions, connected by common interests. This implies the dependence of the family on the social system, the economic situation, political, religious relations and traditions that are developing in society. On the other hand, the family also has a certain independence, relative autonomy.
As a social institution, the family is bound by certain norms of behavior, the nature of the relationship between family members. As a small group, the family is based on marriage or consanguinity, it is bound by a common life, certain moral, economic obligations, mutual assistance, care for the health of each of its members, it regulates relations between parents and children, as well as close relatives.
Marriage can be defined as a historically conditioned, recognized and sanctioned by society, socially and personally expedient form of union between a man and a woman, fixing their personal and property relations. The main purpose of marriage is to create a family.
By entering into marriage, people assume certain legal and moral obligations, share responsibilities relating, in particular, to financial relations, property, raising children, and maintaining each other's health.
Throughout the historical development of society, family and marriage relations have gone through certain stages, their forms, structure and content have changed.
So, at the stage of existence of the primitive human herd, there was no marriage, there were promiscuous sexual relations, when every woman could have sexual relations with any man, and every man, in turn, with any woman.
With the emergence of the tribal system, a group form of marriage appeared, in which each man of one tribal group could have sexual relations with all the women of another tribal group. Later, with the development of the tribal system, group cohabitation was replaced by a pair marriage, uniting one couple. This form of marriage existed in three main forms:
dislocal marriage, in which each of the couple lived in their own ancestral group;
patrilocal marriage, in which a woman moved to live in the clan of a man;
matrilocal marriage, in which a man passed into the genus of a woman.
The paired form of marriage did not imply the possession of joint property, personal property remained separate. Such a marriage was fragile and freely terminated.
In the early stages of pair marriage, signs of group marriage were quite widely present, which were expressed in polygamy. Polygamy came in two forms:
in the form of polygamy, when one man had several wives from another family;
in the form of polyandry, when one woman had several husbands.
Polygamy prevailed in those areas where agriculture was the main activity, and a man was at the head of such a family. Polygamy in some countries has survived to the present day. In areas where the main occupation was hunting, polyandry became widespread, in which the woman, who was the keeper of the fire, had more power than the man. Kinship in such a family was determined by the female line.
Later, during the collapse of the tribal system, pair marriage was replaced by monogamous marriage, in which a marriage union was concluded between one man and one woman. This marriage more firmly united the spouses and their offspring, ensured the integrity of the family, which thus acquired the features of the economic unit of society.
The further development of society changed the forms and content of marriage and family relations. In a slave-owning society, marriage was recognized as legal only for free citizens, the marital relations of slaves were considered simple cohabitation. In the Roman Empire, marriages were considered legal only for full-fledged citizens, who were concluded with women of the same class. Such marriages were protected by the state. In European countries in the early Middle Ages, only church marriage was recognized, which was mandatory for all classes. Serfs could marry only with the consent of the feudal lord to whom they belonged.
Gradually, church marriage was supplanted by civil marriage, which was formalized by civil authorities or notaries. So, in England, civil marriage was introduced in 1653, in the Netherlands - in 1656, in France - in 1789. In some countries, until now, only church marriage has legal force, in a number of countries both secular and church marriage.
In Russia, until 1917, there was only church marriage, but to record the marriages of people who did not profess any of the officially recognized religions, marriage registration with the police was allowed. Since 1918, only civil marriage was recognized in Russia, church marriage was a private affair of those entering into marriage. In 1926, the Code of Laws on Marriage, Family and Guardianship was adopted, which, along with marriages entered into in the civil registry offices, allowed actual marital relations, which gave the right to persons who were in such relations to mutual payment of alimony in case of loss working capacity of one of the spouses, as well as for children and for the settlement of relations related to jointly acquired property in the same manner as for persons who were in an officially registered marriage. This situation existed until 1944, when the Decree of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR established that the rights and obligations of spouses give rise only to marriages registered in the registry office.
At present, the Family Code of the Russian Federation, adopted by the State Duma on December 8, 1995, is in force in Russia. It regulates family and marriage relations, establishes the conditions and procedure for marriage, its termination and invalidation, determines the rights and obligations of spouses and other family members. Many provisions of the Family Code of the Russian Federation are also of interest to medical professionals.
Thus, Article 1 states that “family, motherhood, fatherhood and childhood in the Russian Federation are under the protection of the state.
Family law proceeds from the need to strengthen the family, build family relations on feelings of mutual love and respect, mutual assistance and responsibility to the family of all its members, the inadmissibility of arbitrary interference in family affairs by anyone, ensuring the unimpeded exercise of their rights by family members, the possibility of judicial protection of these rights. ".
Part 2 of Article 1 of the Family Code establishes that “marriage entered into only in the civil registry offices is recognized”. Thus, as in earlier legal acts concerning the regulation of family and marriage relations in our country, only civil marriages have legal force, and the rights and obligations of spouses arise from the date of state registration of marriage. At the same time, “regulation of family relations is carried out in accordance with the principles of voluntary marriage of a man and a woman, equality of rights of spouses in the family, resolution of family issues by mutual agreement, priority of family upbringing of children, concern for their well-being and development, ensuring priority protection of the rights and interests of minors and disabled family members. Part 4 of Article 1 prohibits "any form of restriction of the rights of citizens when entering into marriage and in family relations on the grounds of social, racial, national, linguistic or religious affiliation."
The Family Code requires a number of conditions necessary for marriage. Such conditions include the mutual voluntary consent of a man and a woman entering into marriage, and the achievement of marriageable age by them. The age of marriage is set at 18 years (Part 1, Article 13 of the Family Code). At the same time, if there are valid reasons, local governments may allow marriage to persons who have reached the age of 16, at their request.
Society and the family are interested in the birth of healthy offspring, therefore, provisions relating to the preservation of the health of family members occupy a significant place in the Family Code. Thus, Article 14 prohibits marriage between close relatives in direct ascending and descending lines (parents and children, grandfather, grandmother and grandchildren), as well as full and half brothers and sisters. Incomplete siblings are brothers and sisters who have a common father or mother. Such a ban is due not only to moral reasons, but also to the fact that marriages between relatives can adversely affect the health of offspring. Of great importance for the protection of health is article 15 concerning the medical examination of persons entering into marriage:
"1. Medical examination of persons entering into marriage, as well as counseling on medical genetic issues and family planning, are carried out by institutions of the state and municipal health care system at their place of residence free of charge and only with the consent of the persons entering into marriage.
2. The results of the examination of a person entering into marriage constitute a medical secret and may be communicated to the person with whom he intends to marry only with the consent of the person who has undergone the examination.
3. If one of the persons entering into marriage hid from the other person the presence of a venereal disease or HIV infection, the latter has the right to apply to the court with a demand to recognize the marriage as invalid (Articles 27-30 of this Code).”
The freedom to enter into marriage also provides for the freedom to terminate it, but society is interested in strengthening the institution of the family, so the dissolution of marriage is under the control of the state. In addition, there are a number of restrictions on the dissolution of a marriage regarding the protection of the rights and interests of a pregnant woman, a nursing mother and minor children.
Article 17 refers to the limitation of the husband's right to demand a divorce:
“A husband does not have the right, without the consent of his wife, to initiate a divorce case during the wife’s pregnancy and within a year after the birth of the child.”
If the spouses have minor children in common, the marriage is dissolved in court, and it is determined with which parent the children will live, from which parent and in what amount child support is collected. If there is an agreement between the spouses on these issues that does not violate the interests of the children or one of the spouses, the marriage may be dissolved by the court without clarifying the motives for the divorce.
The Family Code provides for equal rights of spouses in the family, this applies to the choice of occupation, profession, place of stay and residence. At the same time, Article 31 states that "issues of motherhood, fatherhood, upbringing, education of children and other issues of family life are decided by the spouses jointly, based on the principle of equality of spouses." But, in addition to rights, spouses also have responsibilities. Part 3 of Article 31 reads: “Spouses are obliged to build their relationships in the family on the basis of mutual respect and mutual assistance, to promote the well-being and strengthening of the family, to take care of the well-being and development of their children.”
The future of society largely depends on how and under what conditions new generations will be brought up, therefore it is important to protect the rights and interests of children, including the expression of their own opinion, upbringing, education, and health protection. The best conditions for the physical and spiritual development of the child, the preservation and strengthening of his health can only be created in the family. Chapter 11 of the Family Code is devoted to defining these issues.
“Article 54. The right of a child to live and be brought up in a family.
1. A child is a person who has not reached the age of eighteen years (majority).
2. Every child has the right to live and be brought up in a family, as far as possible, the right to know his parents, the right to be cared for by them, the right to live with them, except in cases where this is contrary to his interests.
The child has the right to be raised by his parents, ensure his interests, comprehensive development, respect for his human dignity.
In the absence of parents, in the event of deprivation of their parental rights and in other cases of loss of parental care, the child's right to be raised in a family is ensured by the body of guardianship and guardianship ...
Article 55. The right of the child to communicate with parents and other relatives.
1. The child has the right to communicate with both parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters and other relatives. The dissolution of the marriage of the parents, its annulment or the separation of the parents does not affect the rights of the child.
In the case of separation of parents, the child has the right to communicate with each of them. The child has the right to communicate with his parents also in the case of their residence in different states.
2. A child in an emergency situation (detention, arrest, detention, stay in a medical institution, etc.) has the right to communicate with his parents and other relatives in the manner prescribed by law.
Article 56. The right of the child to protection.
1. The child has the right to protection of his rights and legitimate interests.
The protection of the rights and legitimate interests of the child is carried out by the parents (persons replacing them), and in the cases provided for by this Code, by the guardianship and guardianship authority, the prosecutor and the court.
A minor, recognized in accordance with the law as fully capable before reaching the age of majority, has the right to independently exercise his rights and obligations, including the right to protection.
2. The child has the right to be protected from abuse by parents (persons replacing them).
In case of violation of the rights and legitimate interests of the child, including in case of failure or improper performance by the parents (one of them) of the duties of raising, educating the child or in case of abuse of parental rights, the child has the right to independently apply for their protection to the guardianship and guardianship body, and upon reaching the age of fourteen years in court.3. Officials of organizations and other citizens who become aware of a threat to the life or health of a child, a violation of his rights and legitimate interests, are obliged to report this to the guardianship and guardianship authority at the actual location of the child. Upon receipt of such information, the guardianship and guardianship body is obliged to take the necessary measures to protect the rights and legitimate interests of the child.
Thus, medical professionals who encounter facts of child abuse (see section "Healthy child") are obliged, in addition to providing the necessary medical assistance, to take measures to legally protect the child.
The Family Code provides for the rights of the child to express his own opinion, to take his opinion into account when choosing a profession.
“Article 57. The right of the child to express his opinion.
The child has the right to express his opinion when resolving any issue in the family that affects his interests, as well as to be heard in the course of judicial or administrative proceedings. Consideration of the opinion of a child who has reached the age of ten years is mandatory, except in cases where this is contrary to his interests.
In some cases, the competent authorities can take a decision concerning a child who has reached the age of ten only with his consent. This applies to issues of changing the name and surname, restoration of parental rights, adoption, changing the place and date of birth of an adopted child, transferring the child to a foster family.
Parents raising a child also have certain rights and obligations, and Article 61 provides for the equality of rights and obligations of parents. Parental rights "are terminated when the child reaches the age of eighteen (the age of majority), as well as when minor children enter into marriage and in other cases established by law that children acquire full legal capacity before they reach the age of majority."
In recent years, cases have become more frequent when minor children become parents. In connection with this, the Family Code provides for the rights of this category of citizens.
“Article 62. Rights of minor parents.
1. Minor parents have the right to live together with the child and participate in his upbringing.
2. Unmarried minor parents, in the event of the birth of a child to them and when their motherhood and (or) paternity are established, shall have the right to independently exercise parental rights upon reaching the age of sixteen years. Until the minor parents reach the age of sixteen, a child may be appointed a guardian who will carry out his upbringing together with the minor parents of the child. Disagreements arising between the guardian of the child and minor parents are resolved by the body of guardianship and guardianship.
3. Minor parents have the right to recognize and challenge their paternity and maternity on a general basis, and also have the right to demand, upon reaching the age of fourteen, that paternity be established in relation to their children in court.”
One of the functions of the modern family is the upbringing of children, which is reflected in the Family Code.
“Article 63. The rights and obligations of parents in the upbringing and education of children.
1. Parents have the right and duty to raise their children.
Parents are responsible for the upbringing and development
their children. They are obliged to take care of the health, physical, mental, spiritual and moral development of their children.
Parents have a preferential right to raise their children over all other persons.
2. Parents are obliged to ensure that their children receive basic general education.
Parents, taking into account the opinion of their children, have the right to choose an educational institution and the form of education for children until the children receive basic general education.
Very important from the point of view of preserving the physical and mental health of children, their harmonious development are the issues of exercising parental rights, which, in accordance with Article 65, “cannot be exercised in conflict with the interests of children. Ensuring the interests of children should be the main concern of their parents.
When exercising parental rights, parents have no right to harm the physical and mental health of children, their moral development. Ways of raising children should exclude neglect, cruel, rude, degrading treatment, abuse or exploitation of children.
Parents exercising parental rights to the detriment of the rights and interests of children are liable in accordance with the procedure established by law.
2. All issues related to the upbringing and education of children are decided by the parents by their mutual agreement, based on the interests of the children and taking into account the opinions of the children ...
3. The place of residence of children in case of separation of parents is established by agreement of the parents.
In the absence of an agreement, the dispute between the parents is resolved by the court, based on the interests of the children and taking into account the opinions of the children. At the same time, the court takes into account the child’s attachment to each of the parents, brothers and sisters, the age of the child, the moral and other personal qualities of the parents, the relationship that exists between each of the parents and the child, the possibility of creating conditions for the child’s upbringing and development (type of activity, mode of work of parents , financial and marital status of parents, etc.).
Thus, the legislation of the Russian Federation on marriage and the family is aimed at strengthening the institution of the family, protecting the interests of family members, especially children; creation of conditions for preserving the health of future generations, the fulfillment by the family of its main functions.
At various stages of the development of society, the family performed many different functions, while some of them died out, their significance, the nature of social functions and their hierarchy changed, other functions of the family remained almost unchanged, but they always reflected the needs of society, as well as the individual needs of each family member. And in modern society, the family performs a number of functions, which include:
satisfaction of the sexual needs of an adult;
reproductive (reproduction of children, childbearing);
educational;
economic and economic;
recreational;
guardianship;
communicative.
One of the most important functions of the family is the ability to satisfy a person's sexual needs within the framework of legal relationships, while the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases is almost completely eliminated, and harmonious, trusting relationships are established. It is within the framework of the family that love, mutual support in the emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical plane can develop.
Among the most important is the reproductive function, expressed in the reproduction of the number of parents in children. In the context of the difficult demographic situation that is developing in developed countries and in Russia, this function of the family is of particular importance. For expanded reproduction of the population, it is necessary that at least half of the families have two children, and half - three. Otherwise, the population of the country will decrease. Medical workers should clearly understand the need to maintain the reproductive function of the family, promote its development, and help with family planning. The educational function is closely related to the reproductive function. Only in a family can a child develop normally, fully, therefore, a family is vital for a child, it cannot be replaced by any other public organizations and institutions. The life of a child in orphanages is a forced necessity, not a need. The atmosphere in the family, the relationships of its members, and the stereotypes of upbringing adopted in a particular family are of great importance for the formation of the child's personality, its formation. There are several fairly stable stereotypes of family education:
detocentrism;
professionalism;
pragmatism.
The essence of child-centrism lies in the all-forgiving attitude towards children, self-indulgence, falsely understood love for them.
Professionalism is expressed in a certain refusal of parents to raise children, the transfer of this function to teachers, educators in kindergartens, schools. In this case, parents believe that only or predominantly professionals should be involved in raising children.
Pragmatism is education, the purpose of which is to develop practicality in children, the ability to adapt to living conditions, arrange their affairs, focus primarily on obtaining material benefits.
These stereotypes of parental perception of the problem of raising children can have a negative impact on the development of the child, contribute to the manifestation of selfish personality traits. In this regard, one of the tasks of family nurses, nurses working with children, is to teach parents the right methods of education, taking into account the age-related psychological characteristics of the child.
Another significant function of the family is economic and economic, covering various aspects of family relations. This also applies to issues of housekeeping, the distribution of household duties, the formation and use of family financial resources - the family budget, the organization of family consumption, etc. Before the development of industry, this function was leading, the family functioned as an economic structure in which all family members, including children, worked together, producing various material goods both to satisfy their own needs and for sale or exchange.
The recreational function in modern conditions with a large number of stressful situations, a high pace of life, an increase in social and psychological stress is of particular importance. It is in a prosperous family that the restoration and strengthening of physical and spiritual strength, the comprehensive development of the individual is possible. Spending time together, watching TV shows, visiting theaters, exhibitions, doing physical exercises, participating in country walks can not only relieve physical and psycho-emotional fatigue, which has a beneficial effect on health, but also significantly bring family members closer, strengthen family ties. In this sense, the family assumes a certain therapeutic role.
The guardianship function is also connected with the economic, economic and recreational functions, which is expressed in observation, assistance, care for elderly family members, the disabled, although at present, with the development of various social institutions (gerontological centers, veterans' homes, etc.), this function is somewhat losing its meaning. However, only in a family is it possible to ensure an adequate quality of life for all its members.
In the life of a modern family, the communicative function is becoming increasingly important, which implies the organization of family communication, the choice of objects and forms of extra-family communication of family members. Thanks to this function, family members satisfy the need for intimate emotional self-expression. The inability to communicate, to find common interests often leads to family conflicts. In conflict families, the process of communication often comes down to everyone's monologues, when other family members do not hear the appeal directed to them, but they themselves respond with the same monologue. At the same time, each family member is afraid to express his point of view, to express his experiences, feelings, so as not to cause a negative reaction from the other.
The family as a social institution has a certain structure, which is determined by the system of relationships between its members, including the kinship structure, spiritual, moral and economic relations, as well as the system of distribution of power between spouses, i.e. within the framework of intra-family relations, the issue of leadership is also resolved.
Knowing the structure of the family, its type, the characteristics of relationships within it, the attitude to leisure and health will allow medical professionals, especially those associated with family medicine (family nurses, nurses working with general practitioners), to plan their activities correctly, choose the right tactics communication, timely identify problems related to health (diet, physical activity, etc.), and make an adequate decision.
According to the related structure, the modern family can be nuclear (small) and extended (large), and at present the nuclear family is more common.
The nuclear family is a social family structure that includes only a married couple with children, while grandparents and other relatives of both husband and wife live separately. In a nuclear family, the continuity of generations is violated to a certain extent; due to the inexperience of a young couple in matters of planning a family budget, distributing household responsibilities, creating an environment necessary for the successful functioning of a family, certain problems may arise related to raising children, the guardianship function partially falls out, but financial independence from older family members is acquired, their own traditions are formed , habits. In such a situation, a nurse can and should take on the role of a consultant, a mentor in family planning, raising children, and maintaining and strengthening the health of family members.
The extended family consists of family members of parents (grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles, aunts) who live in a common house, run a joint household, own joint property, and distribute responsibilities among themselves. Sometimes members of the extended family live close to each other, but in different houses. In this case, the ties between family members are somewhat weaker than when living under the same roof, but the functions of the family can be distributed between them. So, older family members - grandfathers, grandmothers - can take on many functions: in particular, in raising children, cooking, etc., they can play the role of a wise adviser, mentor, and the younger ones can take on financial well-being, guardianship function. In modern conditions, the roles of the older and younger generations of members of the extended family may change somewhat when representatives of the older generation take care of material well-being. In this case, the younger members of the family must perform other economic functions, related, in particular, to creating a cozy home environment, maintaining cleanliness and order in the house.
The extended family is more capable of providing a system of constant support, especially in difficult life situations, including issues of maintaining and maintaining health, but at the same time, it can serve as a source of conflict due to the fact that a husband or wife introduces habits and preferences into a new family. , traditions, views of their own extended families. These habits, traditions can relate to both food addictions, attitudes towards one's own health, and forms of behavior in various situations associated with differences in cultural, religious, political views, perhaps differences in social status.
At present, the nuclear family is more common, and the extended family is acquiring the features of a family group organized according to the type "family of children - family of parents." Such family groups are a special social phenomenon and arise on the basis of multidirectional needs:
the needs of each family for self-sufficiency, independence;
the needs of different generations in communication and mutual assistance.
At the same time, contacts between the families of children and parents are the most stable, based on the fulfillment of an economic function, the satisfaction of material needs, the maintenance of a home, the creation of conditions for improving the health and recreation of family members.
According to the number of children, families can be:
large families;
middle children;
small children;
childless.
According to the structure of the distribution of power, how the issue of leadership is resolved, family responsibilities are distributed, there are three main types of families:
traditional (patriarchal) family;
non-traditional family;
egalitarian (family of equals), or collectivist.
Different types of families are also characterized by different approaches to different aspects of family relations and family life.
So, in a traditional family, one of the distinguishing features of which is the existence under one roof of at least three generations, the leading role belongs to the older man.
As a rule, a traditional family is large - it adheres to the principle: the more children, the better, the educational function lies to a greater extent on the woman who educates with affection, and the man punishes, without refusing bodily influences, while the child must follow the choice parents in professional self-determination. Housekeeping in a traditional family is predominantly done by a woman, including managing the money given by her husband, providing for the family financially, and making a professional career. They have originality and ways of spending leisure time: as a rule, spouses have fun together, but the husband can spend his leisure time outside the home, while the wife should be at home. Interests in such a family are largely limited to family problems, discussing household chores, and a warm family atmosphere is created mainly by a woman, while a man can afford to be rude towards other family members.
Thus, for this type of family are characteristic:
economic dependence of a woman on her husband;
a clear distribution of functional family responsibilities, assigning them to a man and a woman (husband - breadwinner, breadwinner, wife - mistress, keeper of the hearth);
recognition of the unconditional leadership of men in all areas of family life.
For a non-traditional family, it is characteristic that the traditional attitude to the leadership of a man is preserved, the division of household duties into male and female, but without sufficient objective economic grounds, which is a hallmark of a traditional family, i.e. in a non-traditional family, the man does not make the main contribution to the economic well-being of the family, but at the same time he shifts the care of the household to the woman. This type of family is called exploitative, since a woman, along with equal rights with a man to participate in social work, acquires the exclusive right to domestic work. Naturally, in such a family there may be health problems for a woman who is forced to work both at work and at home.
The egalitarian family is a type of modern family in which household chores are distributed fairly, each member of the family takes part in them, since both a man and a woman can equally make a career or, by decision of both, a woman, in which case the man takes on take on most of the family workload. The number of children in such a family depends on the desire of both spouses and, last but not least, on financial capabilities; The upbringing of children is built on the basis of respect for the interests of the child, taking into account his capabilities, corporal punishment, of course, is not allowed. The issue of leadership is decided taking into account the strengths and weaknesses of each of the spouses, each can be a leader in a certain area of ​​​​family relations, and major decisions are made jointly. This affects both the family atmosphere, in the creation of which each of the spouses participates equally, and in the ways of spending leisure time, when the husband and wife can have fun separately, and, if desired, spend it together. This is facilitated by the atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, which, as a rule, is characteristic of this type of family, rudeness in relations is not allowed; interests become common, in addition to family and household concerns, production issues, political issues, hobbies, prospects, etc. can also be discussed.
Thus, the distinctive features of an egalitarian family are:
fair, proportional to the capabilities of each of the spouses, the distribution of household duties, the interchangeability of family members in solving domestic issues;
joint participation in ensuring the economic well-being of the family;
discussion of the main problems of the family and joint decision-making to overcome these problems;
emotional intensity of relationships.
There are also transitional family types that combine
imagine the traits of two or three basic types. In such families, the role attitudes of a man are more traditional than his actual behavior regarding the performance of various family responsibilities, i.e. a man claims leadership, but at the same time is quite actively involved in household chores. In a transitional family, the opposite situation is also possible: a man has democratic role-playing attitudes, but participates little in housekeeping.
One of the important functions of the family is recreational, therefore, depending on the nature of leisure activities, there are:
open families;
closed families.
A distinctive feature of open families is the focus on communication outside the home and on the leisure industry, i.e. visiting theaters, entertainment centers, sports clubs, etc.
For closed families, intra-home leisure is characteristic.
In modern family and marriage relations, significant changes are taking place regarding both the composition of the family, its role structure, and the functions of the family. A modern urban family, as a rule, has few children; has 1-2 children; the functions of men and women become more symmetrical, the authority and influence of women increase, ideas about the head of the family change; the economic function of the family weakens somewhat (the family ceases to be a production unit), but the importance of psychological closeness between family members increases.
At present, the life of a family, regardless of its type, is largely determined by the fact that women have to work to ensure the material well-being of the family and its economic independence, so many of them experience significant emotional and physical stress due to the dual role. Medical professionals can help overcome the consequences of the adverse effects of high physical and psycho-emotional stress, provide emotional support, and give recommendations on maintaining and maintaining health, taking into account the type of family.

S. V. Kovalev emphasizes the importance of forming adequate marriage and family ideas for boys and girls. Currently, young people's ideas about marriage have a number of negative features: for example, at the age of 13-15, there is a progressive separation and opposition of the concepts of love and marriage. Among students (according to the questionnaire survey “Your Ideal”), the importance of love when choosing a life partner was in fourth place after the qualities “respect”, “trust”, “mutual understanding”. There is a clear “pushing back” of love in marriage against the background of its previous omnipotence. That is, young men and women can perceive the family as a hindrance to their feelings, and only later, painfully through trial and error, come to comprehend the moral and psychological value of marriage. The task is to form an understanding of the value of the family among high school students and try to create a correct understanding of the relationship between love and marriage and the role of love as the basis of a long-term union.

The next thing that characterizes the marriage and family ideas of young people is their obvious consumer unrealism. So, according to V. I. Zatsepin, in the study of students, it turned out that the average desired spouse in its positive qualities surpassed the “average” real young man from the immediate environment of female students, similarly to male students, the ideal spouse was presented in the form of a woman who was not only better than real girls, but also surpassed them in intelligence, honesty, fun and hard work.

Young people are characterized by a divergence in the qualities of the desired life partner and the intended partner in everyday communication, from the circle; which this satellite, in general, should be selected. Surveys of sociologists have shown that personality traits that are considered significant for an ideal spouse are not of decisive importance in real communication between boys and girls.

Our study (in 1998-2001) of the premarital preferences of university students showed a similar picture in many respects.

The open form of the survey (the wording was proposed by the respondents themselves) revealed that in the image of the preferred partner in | communication, students should have such qualities as (in descending order): external data, positive character traits (different for each of the respondents - kindness, loyalty, modesty, decency, good breeding, diligence, etc.), mind, communication data , sense of humour, gaiety, femininity, sexuality, patient attitude towards the answerer himself, general development (spiritual, outlook, professionalism), diligence, balance, calmness, health, material security.

The image of the future spouse includes: moral qualities (as a total index of various character traits: honesty, ability to keep one’s word, decency, fidelity, kindness, etc.), intelligence, appearance, cultural development, attitude towards the interviewee himself (loving, patient , yielding), temperament properties (equal answers - poise and impulsiveness), sense of humor, generosity, hospitality, communicative qualities, femininity. Some students found it difficult to name the qualities of their future spouse.

Thus, some discrepancy between the images of the partner with whom I would like to communicate and the future wife was revealed. The qualities of the latter turned out to be less certain for young men, which is probably due to the general uncertainty of their family future (some young men do not think about marriage).

An analysis of the premarital ideas of female students (of the Faculty of Philosophy and Economics) showed a greater mismatch than that of male students between the qualities of a preferred communication partner and the characteristics of a future (desired) spouse. So, if for the attractiveness of a partner his appearance or physique features (athleticism, sports uniform, etc.), as well as a sense of humor and intelligence are important, then among the qualities that are preferable for family life, the attitude towards the respondent herself (loving, fulfilling my desires, etc. - the wording is varied), maturity, responsibility and intelligence. Appearance and sense of humor are losing their leading positions, and communicative qualities are moving from the middle ranks to the last ones. But half of the girls surveyed expect from their future chosen one the ability to provide for their families, and one fourth - protection.

If we consider the premarital preferences of young people not in an average form, but to make a qualitative analysis of the data - an individual comparison of the preferences of a partner and a future husband, then we can see that students (and female students) differ greatly in the degree of correspondence between the images of a friend and a husband. For some respondents, there is a fairly large coincidence of the qualities that make a young man attractive to communicate with him, and the desired properties of the future spouse. In this case, it can be predicted that there is an awareness of personality traits that are important for long-term communication, and it is on them that these respondents are guided in choosing friends (according to S.V. Kovalev, on “significant universal human values”). There were 40% of such boys and girls in our sample. Some students have some discrepancy between the qualities of the desired partner and life partner. Unfortunately, almost half (45%) of students have an almost complete discrepancy in the image of a friend (girlfriend) and future husband (wife).

There is also another dangerous trend - the excessive requirements for a partner and spouse: this applies mainly to girls. A part of the students revealed an almost complete list of requirements for young people from all theoretically possible ones - it reaches 20 qualities. Here are the mind, beauty, sensitivity, leadership qualities ("stronger than me"), security, help around the house, honesty, education, sociability, sense of humor. If at the same time the requirements are rigid, the likelihood of building successful relationships is reduced to a minimum.

V. I. Zatsepin also notes pygmalionism in the interpersonal perception of boys and girls. A direct relationship has been revealed between the nature of self-esteem and the level of evaluation of the desired spouse in many qualities. It turned out that those who highly appreciated the degree of development in themselves of such qualities as honesty, beauty, cheerfulness, etc., would like to see these qualities in their future spouse. The works of Estonian sociologists have shown that such pygmalionism is also very characteristic of the idealized ideas of young people: for boys and girls, the ideal spouse is usually similar to one's own character (but with an increase in its positive components). In general, in these sets, cordiality, sociability, frankness and intelligence are most valued (girls still appreciate strength and determination, and young men - the modesty of their chosen ones).

At the same time, it turned out that young people starting a life together do not know each other's characters well - the assessments assigned to a life partner differed very significantly from his (her) self-esteem. Those entering into marriage endowed the chosen one with qualities similar to their own, but with their well-known exaggeration towards greater masculinity or femininity (Kovalev S.V., 1989).

So, the development of marriage and family ideas of boys and girls includes the formation of their correct views on the relationship between love and marriage, overcoming consumer tendencies in relation to the family and life partner, fostering realism and integrity in the perception of themselves and others.

A very important area of ​​sex education is the formation of standards of masculinity and femininity. It is in adolescence that schoolchildren complete the formation of the role positions of men and women. Girls have a sharp increase in interest in their appearance and there is a kind of reassessment of its significance, associated with a general increase in self-esteem, an increase in the need to please and a heightened assessment of their own and other people's successes with the opposite sex. For boys, strength and masculinity are at the forefront, which is accompanied by endless behavioral experiments aimed at finding themselves and forming their own image of adulthood. The formation of sexual consciousness, standards of masculinity and femininity begins from the first days of a child's life. However, it is carried out most intensively in adolescence and youth, when what has been learned at the previous stages begins to be tested and refined in the course of intensive communication with persons of the opposite sex.

T. I. Yufereva’s studies show that practically the only sphere of life activity in which adolescents’ ideas about the images of masculinity and femininity are formed is relationships with the opposite sex. It turned out that these ideas at each age reflect special aspects of communication: in the 7th grade - family and domestic relations, in the 8th and, especially, in the 9th - closer emotional and personal relationships between boys and girls, and the former relationships do not deepen with age, but are simply replaced by others.

Adolescents' ideas about the ideal qualities of men and women for gender relationships are mainly associated with the concept of partnership without regard to gender. Therefore, ideal representations and real behavior do not coincide, since the ideal does not perform a regulatory function. It is also sad that the concept of femininity of a young man was associated exclusively with motherhood, and in the disclosure of the concept of masculinity they forget about such a quality as responsibility (Yufereva T. I., 1985, 1987).

S. V. Kovalev argues that sex education should not smooth out, but, on the contrary, in every possible way support the sexual differences between men and women. These differences appear already in the first days after birth, becoming more and more vivid and distinct as the child grows up. The activity of the stronger sex is of a peculiar object-instrumental nature, while the weaker sex is emotionally expressive in nature, which is sufficiently manifested in the field of sexual behavior and inclinations.

It is difficult to overestimate the role of sex education in shaping the qualities of a family man. Here a huge role is played by the premarital experience of youth, in which it is especially important to know as many real families as possible, their relationships and ways of life. At present, acquaintance at home, which is extremely necessary for boys and girls, is not accepted for two reasons: firstly, when they habitually meet outside the family circle in places of leisure, boys and girls do not have the opportunity to make a full impression of each other, since it is impossible without knowledge about how their chosen one is among relatives and friends. Secondly, only with such a “home” acquaintance can young people make a fairly accurate impression not only about the peculiarities of the family microclimate and way of life, but also about their acceptability from the point of view of the ideas accepted in their own home about the rights and obligations of family members, about how one can and should act in a family community. Based on this, young people could make a more accurate decision about the possibility of a future life together.

V. A. Sysenko (1985, p. 25) formulates the main areas of activity in preparing for family life in this way: 1) moral (realization of the value of marriage, children, etc.); 2) psychological (the amount of psychological knowledge needed in married life); 3) pedagogical (skills and abilities for raising children); 4) sanitary and hygienic (hygiene of marriage and everyday life); economic and household.

During the period under consideration in Germany, the earlier idea of ​​marriage as a repetition of original sin was gradually overcome. The Church still welcomed chastity, but at the same time spoke of the good goal of procreation of the human race, as well as the generation of angels to replace the fallen. From now on, she considered the family as an indissoluble union of souls, and monogamous marriage as a sacrament and the only legal form of cohabitation. The most important consequence of this was the elimination of the institution of polygamy, or polygamy, which was widespread in European countries until the 11th-12th centuries. In the text of the "Saxon Mirror" there is no longer any mention of such a type of cohabitation as concubinage, although earlier churchmen could not deal with it.

In secular circles, marriage and family were treated much more prosaically. Most of the unions concluded in various strata of society, and primarily among the townspeople and the nobility, were determined by material calculation. Due to the marriages of children, the problems of land holdings, lack of funds and others were solved. Thus, a wife, in addition to a significant dowry in the form of valuables and land, in some cases could also bring certain civil rights, which were transferred to the legal spouse, and subsequently inherited by them.

Marriages in the craft environment were characterized by the spirit of economic partnership. Usually they were concluded within one or several related professional groups and quite often "by free and mutual will." Often, a craft enterprise was the result of the initiative of both spouses.

The gradual awareness of the medieval German craftsman of his belonging to the family "was due to the social and economic role that she played in the craft environment", because the heritability of the profession was one of the main conditions for admission to craft workshops. For example, José Holle from Augsburg was admitted to the Cologne goldsmiths' workshop thanks to a letter of recommendation in which the foremen of the goldsmiths' workshop of his hometown confirmed that he was the son of the late master Heinrich Holle and was born in a legal marriage.

The family also had the character of a kind of political association, which was based on the principle of class. In the case of an unequal marriage, the wife followed the condition of her husband. As a rule, she had to go down the social ladder somewhat, since it was not too easy for parents to marry their daughter to someone from their social stratum due to lack of a worthy dowry, fear of violating the permissible degree of kinship, and for other reasons. In general, the charters given to individual cities allowed their inhabitants to marry any person, regardless of which lord they were under.

After the death of her husband, a woman acquired estate rights by birth, and her closest relative of equal birth, able to carry a sword, "but not a relative of her husband" became her guardian. Particularly striking evidence of the political nature of the family was the principle of single inheritance that existed within the framework of fief law and was absent in zemstvo law, according to which the father's fief was not split up, but remained with the eldest son. Thus, in the hands of a male heir capable of bearing arms, landed property was preserved as a symbol of the power of the feudal lord and his family.

Children enjoyed the rights of a parent who occupied a lower position on the steps of the social ladder, and were limited in inheritance rights. It was interesting that a person deprived of rights also had the opportunity to marry and even have children with his wife, but then he doomed them to an extremely painful existence, since they acquired an equal birth with him, that is, they became virtually deprived of rights.

An obstacle to marriage could be a close relationship, both blood and spiritual. In the ideas of a medieval person, the family acted as a kind of living organism, the head of which was a husband and wife, united by legal marriage. Already in the Salic Pravda there was an article according to which marriages like those when a man married a niece, wife of a brother or uncle, etc., were criminal and children from them could not be considered legal heirs. In 506, marriage was declared unacceptable for any degree of kinship, but a little later, at the end of the 6th century, Pope Gregory VII clarified the restriction of this prohibition to the seventh degree. Relatives of deceased spouses and those in spiritual relationship (godparents and their godchildren) could not marry. Because of this, it was especially difficult to find a spouse for the monarch. However, the prohibitions were by no means always observed, which forced church councils to return to this problem every now and then, and thus, in 1215, at the Lateran Council, the fourth degree of kinship was recognized as acceptable for marriage. The text of the "Saxon Mirror" gives us somewhat different information. We believe this is due to the fact that Frederick II Staufen was in power, that is, we are dealing with a period of violent clashes between the Holy Roman Empire and the papacy. The first, or "shoulder", degree of relationship was represented by the children of brothers and children of sisters. Then came six more degrees, at the last of which, the “nail”, the relationship ended, but only for inheritance, since the Pope allowed people who were in the fifth degree of relationship to marry, which secular circles were clearly negative about, noticing that he " cannot establish any law that could spoil our zemstvo or fief law.

In general, they were not very worried about this, because the one who, due to some circumstances, could not enter into a church marriage, entered into a secret marriage. Apparently, it is precisely with regard to this kind of unions that the Saxon Mirror says that “if someone takes a wife whom he should not have by right, and receives children from her, and then they are properly divorced, this will not damage their rights. children born before the divorce, and in addition, the child that the mother carried.

The process of marriage was divided into three stages: the agreement of families, betrothal and direct marriage. All three can be seen in the example of the text of the Nibelungenlied. In our case, the first stage comes down to an agreement between Siegfried and Gunther (“With Brunhilde, as soon as I return here, I make a vow to give my sister as a wife”), the second to the exchange of Siegfried and Kriemhild oaths (“She did not refuse him in her hand, And the noble Dutch king swore to become her husband. //

When both of them swore to each other, They immediately hugged tightly, tightly"), the third - for the wedding ("Everything was ready, as befits the rank: Crowns, their robes and everything that was due. When there in They blessed them in the cathedral, They saw them joyful in the crowns of all four of them.

Marriage unions were henceforth concluded with the consent of both spouses. “Of course, I will never break that oath in my life. And, in whatever way I can, I am ready to help you in this matter,” Gunther said for this reason to Siegfried. Despite the fact that, as an older brother, in the absence of a father, he was the guardian of Kriemhild, the king still had to get her satisfactory response to the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe planned enterprise, which he then does. On the contrary, the consent of the parents, the lord and the Church for marriage during the High Middle Ages was no longer required, although it was considered desirable.

The fact that marriage required the consent of both the groom and the bride did not change the fact that most of the unions concluded among the chivalry were still determined by calculation, material or political. This is beautifully illustrated by Giselcher's engagement to the daughter of Rüdeger and Gothelinda. In the text of the Nibelungenlied, they are recognized as equal in nobility, which by the time the Nibelungenlied was written was rather an exception (after all, we are talking about persons of royal blood). Usually, as we have already said, when getting married, the bride fell a little down the social ladder due to the inability to collect a worthy dowry or fear of violating the permitted degree of kinship.

On the one hand, in the fragment of the XXVII adventure we are considering, the bridegroom’s brothers promised the bride lands and burghs (“They promised to give her lands and burghs”, in return for which her father gave her a rich dowry (“But I don’t have burghs ... I will give so many silver and gold for my daughter, As long as a hundred bag horses could carry, So that his relatives would find that gift with honor.

The material component of such a union is very interesting. According to ancient German custom, the purchase of a bride was replaced by the payment to her father of the purchase price, which he passed on to his daughter after the marriage was concluded. Now, according to canon law, the husband had to give his wife the so-called “morning gift” - a gift on the morning after the wedding night (“As a morning gift he should have gotten her”), which amounted to approximately a quarter of the entire immovable and movable property of the groom. These gifts, as it were, were the property of the wife, but meanwhile they were under the control of the husband, and the woman, therefore, was not allowed to alienate anything from “her” property without the consent of her husband. In the event of a divorce, separation, or death of the husband, the wife usually received everything donated back (if the wife died earlier, the "gift" again became the property of the husband), and in the latter case it was called the "widow's share", which the widow, who was not under the guardianship of her relatives, disposed of independently (“That treasure belongs to her; So how can I interfere with my sister in that?”), And was supplemented by the “female share”, which included household utensils, personal items and jewelry.

On the other hand, there is a possibility that Hagen, the uncle of the Burgundian kings, was counting not on the long marriage of Giselher, but on acquiring an ally in the upcoming struggle. There is a political calculation here.

As for divorces, the articles of church and secular legislation differed greatly. At the Council of Carthage in 407, divorce was declared by the Church possible only in those rare cases when a Christian was married to a heretic, Jew or pagan. For example, Kriemhild could well have divorced Etzel, who generally doubted whether she would marry him, saying: “She is not like me, / After all, I am still a pagan and there is no cross on me, / She is a Christian and is unlikely to agree.” But at the time when the Nibelungenlied was written, she would have managed, according to church law, at best to separate (which was also extremely difficult) from her husband. "The separation consisted simply of living apart, sometimes it included the division of property, and the separated couples did not have the right to reunite later." The reason for this could be, in particular, the recognition of him as a heretic (and in addition, the discovery of the fact of kinship with him, excessive cruelty on his part, squandering joint property, leprosy, impotence, or refusal of sexual relations). But she couldn't divorce him.

Secular legislation, contrary to strict church legislation, more often allowed divorces, both at the initiative of the husband and at the initiative of the wife, although in the latter case, of course, more reluctantly.

According to secular law, a wife could divorce her husband if he committed a murder, desecrated a grave, or resorted to witchcraft, but not on the basis of treason, drunkenness, or playing cards. After that, she could marry after five years after the divorce, but if her husband was left by her for frivolous sins, then never. A husband, legally divorced from his wife, could not deprive her of life maintenance, "which he provided to her in his property." A wife, legally divorced from her husband, retained the right to life use of his landed property, her share of the products and the woman's share. Everything that she brought to her husband and that her husband had promised her, "when they first met," had to be handed over to her.

In some cases, the marriage could be declared invalid and annulled (if the fact of consanguinity or spiritual relationship of the spouses was revealed, the remarriage of any of them, or if the husband suffered from sexual impotence), and until the 12th century, according to church law, a woman could remarry and in cases when the fact of the death of her husband in a crusade, in a war, etc. was established, or his captivity, in which there was not the slightest hope of returning. If the husband miraculously came back, then the remarried wife had to return to him. From the 12th century, remarriage became possible only when the first marriage was annulled due to kinship. An excellent illustration of this are the lines of the old German "Ballad of Henry the Lion", recorded in the 16th century and subjected to numerous adaptations. When Satan informs the Duke that his wife is remarrying in Braunschweig, he replies: “Is she to blame? Seven years have passed. / Let me see my wife /

And do what you want with me!” When, on his return, his wife sees him, she exclaims the following: “My Heinrich has returned! My faithful husband! From now on, we are together forever!

By the way, the text of the “Saxon Mirror” does not mention a single ground for divorce, with the exception of marriages performed illegally, when one of the spouses, for example, misled the other about his belonging to a particular estate, but we can assume that the set was standard: for a husband - wife's adultery, prostitution, sorcery; for a wife - a husband committing a murder, desecrating a grave, witchcraft. The last point in both cases is especially logical, since anyone "who is associated with magic or poisoning, if exposed, should be burned at the stake", and since "exposed" is almost always, then one of the spouses, either husband or wife, in any case, I would have become a widow and could have remarried, so there was no point in delaying it - it would be better to divorce right away.

But, apparently, occasionally it also happened that the applicant did not receive consent to a divorce from a secular court. In this regard, one of the articles mentions a funny precedent when a husband, apparently no longer knowing where to go from a hated marriage, went to a monastery without the consent of his wife, and she returned him from monastic life according to church law . It so happened that the Church, on which he counted so much in this matter, did not live up to the expectations of the unfortunate husband.

A man could remarry as many times as he liked, "even if his three wives died, or four, or more." The same applied to women. The mention in the article we have just cited of the connection between remarriage and the death of a spouse is curious. It makes sense to assume that if the wife or husband died, then the surviving spouse could remarry at any time, but if it happened after a divorce, then a period was set, only after which it was possible to remarry.

The text of the Saxon Mirror does not contain information about the age of consent, however, for males, it probably coincided with the beginning of the pores of youth according to Zemsky law, that is, with the twelve-year boundary, and for women, it may have come a little earlier. Many researchers note a significant age difference between married spouses. Most often, in their opinion, in the Middle Ages there was a model "an elderly husband - a young wife."

However, we believe that this trend was more typical for peasants, and not at all for persons of noble birth and townspeople, since the latter were guided in marriage mainly by political and material considerations, considering beauty and health a secondary factor, and therefore very often married widows or older women. Among the peasants, a woman was regarded as another pair of working hands, and therefore men who remarried tried to choose the youngest possible bride for themselves, counting on her strength and health. The lot that awaited the peasant woman was “weave, let the flax ruffle, Yes, dig beets and turnips, Yes, swallow the dust in the hayloft”.

If we count the number of articles of Zemsky law, which, in terms of family and marriage relations, controls not only the behavior of the ignoble, but, on the contrary, in the first place just noble persons, where the death of a husband or the death of a wife is mentioned, then they will turn out to be almost the same number, from which it is possible draw the extremely approximate, but still desperately suggestive conclusion that among the nobles, male and female mortality was approximately equal.

In cities, as a rule, people got married later than in the countryside, which was due to economic reasons. For a person striving for financial prosperity and career growth, the family was in some way an obstacle. Therefore, they entered into marriage only after achieving certain successes. The higher the bar that they were going to reach, the later it happened: “who aspired to a career as a merchant, banker, lawyer needed more time than an ordinary ordinary artisan to start a family corresponding to his social status” . For example, Augsburg merchants in the 13th-14th centuries married only at the age of 38-40.

Again, if we talk about the “marriage market”, then among the nobility and townspeople, according to some articles of the collection of legislation we are considering, there was no such “deficit of brides” that was typical for the peasant environment, where women died from overwork and painful childbirth. Here one can talk more about a “shortage of suitors” than one can explain the fact that girls, unmarried women and, most importantly, their guardians, agreed to marriages in which the wife, following the husband’s estate, descended down the social ladder.

The basis of family and property relations was the provision according to which “husband and wife do not have separate property during their lifetime”. This was due to the joint management of a natural economy. From the moment of marriage, the wife entrusted all her property into the hands of her husband, and he owned it "by way of legal guardianship."

All the time that marriage existed, the only one who disposed of the property was the husband, who at the same time became the legal guardian of his wife. He also controlled the property acquired and acquired jointly in marriage. The wife did not have such a right, but legally retained ownership of the property that she brought to the family, as well as everything that was promised to her on the eve of the conclusion of the marriage union and that was given to her in marriage. Without the consent of the husband, the wife could "neither cede her property, nor sell it, nor leave", unlike girls and unmarried women. In general, without the permission of her husband, the wife could not dispose of anything, however, as was already emphasized earlier, in the event of a divorce, she became much more free and secure.

If the husband did die before his wife, then his flax became "her lawful flax"; the death of his wife did not give the grief-stricken husband anything, except for that part of the female share, which was "his bed, standing the same as when his wife lived, his table with a tablecloth, his bench with a feather bed, his chair with a pillow".

The basis of family property relations between parents and children was the same principle of community of family property. The head of the family owned all the family property and he could exclusively dispose of it, while the unallocated children had no rights to it at all. Children received property rights only after their separation, and only after the father, allocating a son, or the mother, allocating a daughter, gave them a certain part of the property, they formed an independent property sphere, from which it follows that the separation meant liberation for children from the power of the parents and, above all, from the power of the father.

In general, if you look through the eyes of the Church, then marriage was seen as a sacrament, and the family as an indissoluble union of souls. In secular circles, the conclusion of marriage unions was determined by political and material calculation. Close kinship was an obstacle to marriage. Secular law limited the permissible degree of relationship to the seventh degree, while the Pope limited it to the fifth. Many had to enter into secret marriages. Divorces were allowed at the initiative of one of the parties, as well as remarriages, the number of which was not limited. As for the “marriage market”, if among the peasants there was a so-called “deficit of brides”, then the reverse trend was typical for the environment of the townspeople and the nobility. Family property relations between husband and wife, as well as between parents and children, were based on the principle of common family property. The wife in this regard was almost completely powerless, and either a divorce or the death of her husband could improve her position. For children, there was a division that personified liberation from parental authority and especially from the arbitrariness of the father.

BELARUSIAN STATE UNIVERSITY
FACULTY OF PHILOSOPHY AND SOCIAL SCIENCES
DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY

VIEW OF MARRIAGE DURING YOUTH

COURSE WORK

2nd year students of psychology department
Mikhalevich Yanina Valerievna

Scientific adviser -
candidate of psychological sciences,
Associate Professor O. G. Ksenda

Minsk, 2013

TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION 3
CHAPTER 1
1.1. Concept of marriage 5
1.2. Young people's idea of ​​marriage 10
1.2.1. Sources of young people's ideas about marriage 10
1.2.2. The idea of ​​young people about the external and psychological-personal side of marriage 14
1.2.3. Young people's perceptions of the age at which one can marry, the age ratio of boys and girls, and sexual relations before
marriage 20
1.2.4. Young people's perceptions of motives for marriage 21
CONCLUSION 24
LIST OF USED SOURCES 27

INTRODUCTION
This topic is very relevant, not only now, but also in the future. Marriage or the family has always been and will continue to be the basis of society. Because marriage itself is a micro-society in which two completely different people learn to interact with each other, and at the closest level, learn to organize life, learn to love each other and discover this world in a new way. It is the family that is able to fully and naturally perform the main functions of the physical and spiritual reproduction of society, that is, reproductive and educational functions.
The institution of marriage is very unique, because, on the one hand, it is individual, and on the other hand, it is social. You can not create a marriage and at the same time be isolated from society. After all, it is in marriage that a person receives such necessary psychological and material resources as support, love, acceptance, respect, stability, prosperity for normal functioning in society. Whether a person feels loved, happy, and meaningful in a marriage will determine how they behave and perform in society. From this it follows that there is a direct dependence of well-being in society on well-being in marriage. That is why it is so important to pay attention to what ideas young people have in order to be able to correct them, to help create a good and happy family. Because recently there are negative trends in marriage and family relations among young people. The fact that it is the institution of marriage that is undergoing a fairly strong decline as a value, and in particular among young people, is of interest to many researchers from various cities and countries.
Indeed, why does something that is so integral to a person suddenly lose its significance and value? Why is there such a strong trend of divorce and single parents? The answers to these and many other questions are found in young people's ideas about marriage. They begin to form from childhood, and we will also touch on the sources of these ideas. How young people see their own family in the future, themselves as a spouse, largely determines the success or failure of its construction.
The problem of marriage affects not only the socio-psychological aspect of the individual, but also the demographic situation of the country. From the analysis of various sources, three of the most problematic trends affecting the demographic crisis in countries, in particular Russia, can be identified. The first is when children are born and later live in an incomplete family if the parents divorce, and this trend has become very frequent. The second is when an abortion is done, especially among young girls with unwanted pregnancies, which is also very common. The third, when the couple does not want to have a child at all, or only one or, in extreme cases, two. All these three most striking trends are reflected in the demographic situation of the country and the health of the nation.
Turning from the institution of marriage directly to young people, I would like to note that “adolescence is a period of life and professional self-determination of a person. This period of a person's life is characterized by the active formation of the personality, the emergence and development of significant psychological neoplasms involved in all manifestations of the cognitive and emotional attitude to the world - in assessing reality and surrounding people, in predicting one's individual and social activity, in planning the future and self-realization, in the formation of one's own ideas about the world and about oneself. It follows from this that the way young people evaluate themselves, other people, their future and form their worldview, affects the development of their relationship in marriage with another person.
The development of marriage and family ideas of boys and girls includes the formation of adequate ideas about the relationship between love and marriage, overcoming consumer trends in relation to the family and life partner, fostering realism and integrity in the perception of themselves and others.
Turning to young people, I want to find out what their ideas about marriage are, what motivates them to get married, what or who shapes their ideas about this union, as well as the differences in ideas between boys and girls. All this is reflected in the object, subject, goals and objectives set in this work.
Object: concept of marriage
Subject: young people's idea of ​​marriage
Purpose: to characterize the idea of ​​​​marriage in the period of youth
Tasks:

Define the concept of marriage
Describe the sources on the basis of which ideas about marriage in the period of youth are formed.
Highlight the gender characteristics of ideas about different aspects of marriage
To identify the motives for marriage among boys and girls

Chapter 1
concept of marriage at a young age

1.1 The concept of marriage
The family is based on marital relations, in which both the natural and social nature of a person, both the material (social being) and spiritual (social consciousness) spheres of social life are manifested. Society is interested in the stability of marital relations, therefore it exercises external social control over the optimal functioning of marriage with the help of a system of public opinion, means of social influence on the individual, and the process of education.
A. G. Kharchev defines marriage as “a historically changing social form of relations between husband and wife, through which society regulates and sanctions their sexual life and sees their marital and parental rights and obligations”, and the family “as an institutionalized community that develops on the basis of marriage and the legal and moral responsibility of the spouses for the health of children and their upbringing that it generates.
In the definition of A.G. Kharchev, the key points for the concept of the essence of marriage are ideas about the variability of the forms of marriage, its social representation, and the role of society in its ordering and sanctioning, legal regulation.
The institution of marriage has gone through many stages in historical, social and psychological contexts. Since marriage is a form of legalization of sexual relations and the assumption of obligations to the spouse and society, the roles and obligations between spouses were distributed ambiguously, depending on how they were established by society. At the moment, in society there is a certain struggle between the patriarchal form of the family, where the man dominates, and the egalitarian form, where the man and woman are equal in obligations, social roles, in the organization of life and working capacity.
The egalitarian form of relations is typical for Western society, patriarchal for Russian, but at the moment, due to the active influence of foreign values, opinions and ideas, in particular among young people, are changing from patriarchal to egalitarian. Today's young people are a new generation that faces a choice: to create marriage relations on the model of parents, where the father often dominated, or on a partnership, where the male and female roles and obligations are distributed by the spouses themselves.
The separation of matrimony as a structural unit occurred in the historical aspect relatively recently as a result of serious socio-economic transformations of modern society, which created conditions for an equal (social, legal, moral) man and woman. Marriage is a personal interaction between husband and wife, regulated by moral principles and supported by its inherent values.
This definition emphasizes: the non-institutional nature of the relationship inherent in marriage, the equality and symmetry of the moral duties and privileges of both spouses.
With regard to marital relations, A. G. Kharchev wrote: “The psychological side of marriage is a consequence of the fact that a person has the ability to understand, evaluate and emotionally experience both the phenomena of the world around him and his own needs. It includes both the thoughts and feelings of the spouses in relation to each other, and the objective expression of these thoughts and feelings in actions and actions. Psychological relations in marriage are objective in the form of their manifestation, but subjective in their essence. Thus, the dialectical relationship between the objective and the subjective is fully manifested in the family sphere as well.
The psychological essence of marriage is the confirmation of relationships in a couple, their inclusion and coordination with other relationships that future spouses already maintain. Such negotiation is not always easy. Sometimes future spouses are not ready for it, sometimes their inner circle may not approve or resist marriage. Therefore, even in cases where the problem of choosing a marriage partner is solved, the couple may have serious difficulties.
It should be emphasized that the forms of marriage are diverse. In order to better understand this problem, it is necessary to dwell on the profiles of marriage, types of marital relations and their determinants.
The theory of dynamic marital therapy mentions seven profiles of marriage based on the reactions and behavior of spouses in marriage.
Seiger proposed the following classification of behavior in marriage.

Equal partner: expects equal rights and responsibilities.
Romantic partner: expects spiritual consent, strong love, sentimental.
"Parental" partner: takes care of another with pleasure, educates him.
"Childish" partner: brings spontaneity, spontaneity and joy to the marriage, but at the same time gains power over the other through the manifestation of weakness and helplessness.
Rational partner: monitors the manifestation of emotions, strictly observes rights and obligations. Responsible, sober in assessments.
Friendly partner: wants to be an ally and is looking for the same companion. Does not pretend to romantic love and accepts as inevitable the usual hardships of family life.
Independent partner: maintains a certain distance in marriage in relation to his partner.

The classification of marriage profiles into symmetrical, complementary and metacomplementary is well known. In a symmetrical marriage, both spouses have equal rights, no one is subordinate to the other. Problems are solved by agreement, exchange or compromise. In a complementary marriage, one orders, gives orders, the other obeys, awaits advice or instructions. In a meta-complementary marriage, the leading position is reached by a partner who realizes his own goals by emphasizing his weakness, inexperience, ineptness and impotence, thus manipulating his partner.
In order to better understand the determinants and types of marital relations, the concept of “emotional dependence of partners on marriage” has been introduced into practice. Depending on the magnitude of the differences between partners, a marriage can be assessed as asymmetric or symmetrical, and, taking into account the degree of dependence, as favorable, doomed to failure, or disastrous. Dependence for each partner is determined by the consequences that the divorce will entail. One of the essential elements of such dependence is the attractiveness of a partner. For women, this is beauty, charm, typically feminine behavior, languor, tenderness, for a man - intelligence, charm, wit, sociability, masculinity, social recognition, and only partly beauty. If the dependence is moderate, adequate, then the marriage profile is assessed as favorable; if one partner has excessive dependence, then the marriage is categorized as “doomed to fail”, and with bilateral dependence, it is classified as “disastrous”.
To date, various forms of marriage and family relations have developed, the most common of which are as follows:

Marriage and family relations based on an honest contract system.

Both spouses clearly understand what they want from marriage, and count on certain material benefits. The very terms of the contract cement and help solve vital problems. Emotional attachment, which can hardly be called love, but which nevertheless exists in such a union, as a rule, intensifies over time. Although if the family exists only as an economic unit, the feeling of emotional take-off is completely lost. People entering into such a marriage have the most powerful practical support from a partner in all practical endeavors - since both wife and husband pursue their own economic benefit. In such marriage and family relations, the degree of freedom of each of the spouses is maximum, and personal involvement is minimal.

Marriage and family relations based on a dishonest contract.

A man and a woman are trying to extract unilateral benefits from marriage and thereby harm their partner. There is no need to talk about love here either, although often in this version of marriage and family relations it is one-sided (in the name of which the spouse, realizing that he is being deceived and exploited, endures everything).

Marriage and family relations under duress.

One of the future spouses somewhat "besieges" the other, and he, either due to certain life circumstances, or out of pity, finally agrees to a compromise. In such cases, it is also difficult to talk about a deep feeling: even on the part of the “besieger”, ambition, the desire to possess the object of worship, passion rather prevails. When such a marriage is finally concluded, the "besieger" begins to consider the spouse his property. The feeling of freedom necessary in marriage and family is absolutely excluded here. The psychological foundations for the existence of such a family are so deformed that the compromises required by family life are impossible.

Marriage and family relations as a ritual fulfillment of social and normative attitudes.

At a certain age, people come to the conclusion that everyone around is married or married and that it is time to start a family. This is a marriage without love and without calculation, but only following certain social stereotypes. In such families, the prerequisites for a long family life are rarely created. Most often, such marriage and family relationships develop by chance and just as randomly break up, leaving no deep traces.

Marriage and family relations, consecrated love.

Two people unite voluntarily, because they cannot imagine their life without each other. In a marriage of love, the restrictions that spouses take on are purely voluntary, they enjoy spending their free time together, with members of their family, they like to do something good for each other, for the rest of the family. Marriage and family relations in this version is the highest degree of uniting people, when children are born in love, when any of the spouses retains its independence and individuality, with the full support of the second. The paradox is that by voluntarily accepting such restrictions, people become more free. The marriage and family form of such relations is built on trust, on greater respect for a person than for generally recognized norms.
In the history of mankind, many forms of organizing marriage relations between the sexes have changed, as a rule, corresponding to a certain level of socio-economic development of society. At the same time, not only the forms of marriage themselves are variable, but also the view of marriage and family in modern society is undergoing cardinal changes.
In this aspect, it is worth highlighting such forms of marriage as civil and legally registered. At the present stage, there is a strong tendency for young people to switch from a registered form of marriage to a civil one, where young people cohabit and do not formalize their relationship.
As statistics show, today many young people in our country prefer either not to formalize their family relations at all, or to live for some time without registering a marriage. It is believed that the most common reason for concluding a civil marriage is an attempt to rehearse family relationships, where domestic compatibility is checked, which mutual love and sexual attraction do not yet guarantee. It is likely that everyday habits will turn out to be so different that it will be easier to leave than to doom yourself to family life. And in general, a civil marriage is desirable as a preparatory stage for an official marriage. The realization that you have the right to choose and at any moment you can change your life gives a certain psychological independence and a sense of inner freedom. From studies, it turned out that a large number of young people adhere to this point of view. Moreover, it was not possible to reveal any dependence on gender and place of residence. Some students allow entering into a civil marriage if it is not possible to formalize their relationship legally. A small number of young people believe that this can be forced by ordinary material difficulties (for example: a common budget, it is easier to rent an apartment together, etc.).
However, in contrast to the opinion of the majority of students who are in an open marriage, that premarital cohabitation is the best form of getting to know a person in everyday life, adapting to each other, it has been scientifically proven that out-of-family experience can make it difficult to move from concentrating on one's own affairs to taking into account the needs and desires of other members. families, especially children. Cohabitation is not a system that successfully prepares future spouses for marriage, as the lack of commitment in a non-family household can lead to their absence from marriage. At the same time, a number of studies prove that cohabitation is at a lower level of happiness than formalized unions.
Also, neither the man nor the woman is sure how long this marriage will last. And this is understandable: civil marriages are based on quick and passionate emotions, and therefore short-lived. There are many difficulties in marriage, the husband and wife usually strive to overcome them: they live together for a long time, and the cohabitants have a chance to avoid difficulties - to leave.
The negative side of civil marriage is the lack of roots. People cannot ritually celebrate his anniversary, but official spouses do. It helps to remember and experience pleasant moments, a kind of psychotherapy. This provides the basis for further life together.
Another significant difference between civil and registered marriage is the presence or absence of liability. In a registered marriage, young people officially take responsibility for another person to society and their future spouse. In a civil marriage, responsibility can be easily evaded.
It is also interesting to note the fact that the lack of responsibility in a civil marriage can play a decisive role in the incompatibility of young people, as young people often like to say. That is, they see the result and find the reason in the incompatibility of the characters, when in fact it may turn out that the reason is precisely in the non-dedication to each other and the initial presence of the retreat option.
Various surveys and studies do not agree on an unambiguous opinion on what type of marriage young people prefer at the present stage. So the study of T.N. Gureeva says that a larger percentage of young people choose a civil form of marriage, and L.A. Uvykina says that, despite a completely loyal attitude towards civil marriage, only a small percentage of young people are ready to enter into such a marriage. Basically, a compromise is chosen, first to live in a civil marriage, and then formalize the relationship legally.

1.2 Young people's perception of marriage
1.2.1. Sources of young people's ideas about marriage
Since each person is brought up in a family and is part of society, the sources of young people's ideas about marriage can be divided into two large camps. The first is the parental family, the second is public information and values. Ideally, for the optimal functioning of the family, they should be similar, but as practice shows, this is not always the case.
parent family
As noted by V.T. Lisovsky, the parental family has a special influence on the process of forming the moral and psychological readiness of young people for a future family life. It forms in children, future spouses and parents, certain moral and cultural norms, stereotypes of communication and behavior, ideas about family life. The study of the marriage and family attitudes of young people and the influence of a real model of family interaction in the parental family on these attitudes shows that the ideas of young men and women about future family life are formed on the example of a real model of family relations between parents. The role settings of the mother contribute to the formation of the daughter's readiness to perform the functions of a wife-mother, the role settings of the father are the basis for the formation of a model of role behavior in the son's future family life.
According to the results of the study by T.N. Gureeva, for today's youth, the main example that defines ideas about the family is the family of parents. Also, young people take an example from the families of acquaintances. Young people can evaluate both positively and negatively the parental model of marriage. With a positive assessment, young people tend to reproduce this model, with a negative one, on the contrary, they never want to repeat it. However, as numerous studies and practice show, even with a negative assessment of the parental model of marriage, young people repeat it with even greater negative consequences. Only a small percentage of young people manage to overcome the difficulties that cause a negative assessment in parental marriage.
The ideas of adolescents and young men about their future family in many cases make up for what they think they lack in their parental home, that is, these ideas often have a compensatory character. Therefore, such ideas can contribute to the creation in young people of such a model of an “ideal” family that would satisfy only their own needs and reveal a certain consumer tendency of adolescents and young men in relation to other people, a lack of concern for others, even emotionally significant for them, possibly future ones. spouses. Such young people present their future family life as an obligatory, but not too tempting, element of adult life.
When asked if you would like your marriage to be like that of your parents, a relatively small percentage of young people give an affirmative answer. However, when asked how you see your future spouse, a very large percentage of young people indicate either their mother or their father, mainly depending on the gender of the respondents.
This is quite an interesting fact, because individually, young people evaluate their parent or parents positively, but their joint relationship and marriage model is often criticized.
Ideas about marriage, love, relationships between people are formed in young people from childhood. It is in the family that the foundations of a person's character, his attitude to work, moral and cultural values ​​are formed. The family has been and remains the most important social environment for the formation of personality and the basis for psychological support and education. Therefore, it is also worth mentioning that the absence of one parent in a family can be the cause of inferior, unsuccessful upbringing of children, and, consequently, ideas about future marriage. In maternal incomplete families, boys do not see an example of male behavior in the family, which contributes to the formation in the process of their socialization of an inadequate idea of ​​the role functions of a man, husband, father. The same is observed in girls.
Children brought up in single-parent families are deprived of an example of the relationship between a man and a woman in a family, which negatively affects their socialization in general and their readiness for future family life in particular. Pedagogy evaluates the indicator of identification of children with their parents as one of the main criteria for the effectiveness of family education. At the same time, the child expresses acceptance of the moral and ideological norms of his parents. The implementation of this component of the educational process in an incomplete family is deformed due to the absence of one parent.
In paternal incomplete families, the above problems are supplemented by the lack of maternal affection, without which the upbringing of children cannot be complete either.
Children who find themselves without parental care also have an inadequate idea of ​​marriage and family relations. These are children who have either never been brought up in a family at all and have no idea how it works and functions, how its members interact. They did not see affection and tenderness from their parents, when they needed it, they were left alone with the outside world. Alienation, emotional coldness, inability to communicate emotionally, lack of communication skills - this is not a complete list of developmental disabilities.
An important aspect in shaping young people's ideas about marriage in the parental family is also the interaction of parents and children. If parents establish trusting, strong, respectful relationships with children, teenagers, and potential spouses in the future, then it is the parents, and not anyone else, who can form competent and positive ideas about marriage. Gradually, at each stage of personality development, dosing information about the relationship between a man and a woman, openly and honestly answering the questions of children and adolescents, parents can help boys and girls to have reliable, not distorted knowledge about marriage. Firstly, they will not have fear of this union, which is largely surrounded by a halo of mystery, and secondly, they will be ready for difficulties in this union.
And the fact that parents do not prepare their children for future marriage, are ashamed to raise serious and frank topics with them, believing that they are still small, laugh it off and do not give complete and reliable information, leads to looking for this information anywhere and often incorrect, which forms a distorted idea of ​​​​marriage among young people.
Public information and values
The institution of family and marriage in many countries has faced a lot of problems. These include a significant decrease in the popularity of legal marriage and a significant increase in the number of divorces, a distortion of the image of the family, love relationships. Often, young people and girls, entering into marriage, do not realize all the responsibility that they take on, do not measure their desires and capabilities. One of the reasons for such processes in society is the pressure exerted by the information space on today's youth.
The process of globalization and urbanization has provided an opportunity to use various types of media and the Internet, which serve as the main source of information for modern young people and girls, including about the “ideal” of modern relationships between a man and a woman.
On the pages of magazines, newspapers, TV screens, an example of love is cultivated, which is more passion than love. The purpose of this love is to receive pleasure. The image of family life is presented as a sexual relationship of partners, where each should be attracted to the other. “Love” is transformed from a feeling into a means. A means of obtaining pleasure, status, social protection. All this forms attitudes that contribute to the unclear understanding by young men and women of the value of the institution of family, marriage, love.
There is also an opinion that in those countries where there was a struggle with religion and the church, the value of marriage also weakened, since the church brought up and supported the significance of family relations. Throughout the history of mankind, religion and the church have served as a powerful source of information, and not only on family settings. At the present stage, young people do not listen much to this source, considering it old-fashioned and a relic of the past.
Very often, the source of young people's ideas about marriage is friends, peers, classmates, classmates. Often this happens due to the fact that there is no trusting relationship with parents, and friends are the second most important thing for people. Accordingly, if it is impossible to obtain information from parents, adolescents turn to friends for this information. They are also united by a common interest, common questions, and are especially attracted by the fact that much is considered forbidden from what interests them. Perhaps both parents and society impose too many taboos and taboos on many issues, instead of conveying the information they need to teenagers in an accessible and truthful way.
Teenagers spend most of their time in schools and institutes, so even if they do not seek to get some information about relationships, they will still be persuaded to do so by other students. However, if a girl or a boy is prepared for this in advance, then this will not have a strong impact, since they will already have the correct view.
Fiction, classical, tabloid literature, films also undoubtedly play a big role in shaping ideas about marriage among young people. Because it is interesting for young people, and they tend to believe what they watch, read, hear.
1.2.2. The idea of ​​young people about the external and psychological-personal side of marriage
The idea of ​​young people about the outside of marriage.
The external side of marriage means the material base on which marriage is built, the availability of housing, the organization of everyday life, the distribution of roles and responsibilities between spouses. This also includes the idea of ​​education among young people entering into marriage, religious affiliation, nationality, the role of parents, the acceptance of material assistance from them, the presence of children in the future. Consider all these parameters depending on gender.
The material base of young people, their material status, material assistance from parents and the availability of housing
etc.................