Generous and not mercantile men. How to understand a man's interest in you

Men often send mixed signals about their romantic intentions.
Women should be able to distinguish whether she is really attractive to a man or whether he just wants to add to his list of victories and use you.

No woman wants to date a man to satisfy his inner ego, so women must use their intuition and observation to determine she is really interesting to a man, which she likes, or he just plays with her.

1. Watch how he pays attention to you when you are in a public place. Does he give you most of his attention, or does he take it for granted that you'll be waiting for him to stop talking to a girl in a miniskirt? He doesn't have to spend every moment talking to you to show he's interested, he'll naturally want to hang out with his friends, but if you're the last person he turns his attention to when you're around other people, he might not be very interested in you.

2. Watch his reaction to your appearance. Does he really give sincere compliments, or does he suggest you change something in his appearance? Some men don't verbally express their attractiveness, but if he thinks you look charming, he may smile, raise his eyebrows, and even whistle. If he's critical at all, he's probably not interested in you. Men who are really interested in a woman tend to think that she will look equally good even if she is dressed like a beggar.

3. Note his appearance. When does he know that he will see you how he dresses? Does he dress stylishly and fashionably, or is he wearing three days of facial stubble and the same T-shirt he wore yesterday? A man interested in a woman will often put extra effort into their appearance. The same applies to behavior. A man who burps and burps several beers is more likely to change his behavior for the woman he likes. Does his appearance and behavior reflect the appearance of a person who is interested in making a positive impression?

4. Learn his body language. When you talk to him, does he cross his arms or maintain an open, friendly posture? Also about eye contact? Does he look directly into your eyes, or does he tend to look away? Looking away may indicate discomfort, which may be due to a lack of attractiveness, or perhaps shyness. Does he let you into his personal space, or does he keep you at a distance?

Look at the size of his pupils when he talks to you. When someone is infatuated with another person, pupil size tends to increase. Smiling can also be a sign of attraction. Notice if he smiles more than most other people around you.

Mercantile man is difficult to declassify. He can conspire, actively shout about love, walk in his youth with poor students and vilify what the world is worth corrupt women who are not ready for everything for the sake of a bowl of soup with champignons.

However, you can always find a number of signs of traitors in him:

A) Male commercialism is more difficult to reveal, because, unlike female, it is not massive. Not in the sense that a small number of men are subject to it, but in the fact that the average man is rarely guided by it. But definitely bigger. While women "work" mostly on trifles.

Here is an average girl, most likely, under the pretext of possible sex and relationships with twenty guys, she goes to a cafe. Each of them will ruin a thousand and a half. The catch, in fact, is zero (if it is not from the starving marginal strata), but there will be a lot of talk. Every "victim" will complain about the tough dynamo. The girl will then also get married like a fool, she will pay the mortgage "in half" and work with the child from the decree. But this will not destroy her glory as a tough multiple dynamo.

A man only gets married once. Perhaps even for life. Just on the daughter of the owner of the company, where for the next 40 years she will make a career, and then inherit the entire business as a family member. Zero complaints from victims. The effect is colossal.

In one form or another, such a phenomenon as the commercialism of men occurred quite regularly. Even Leo Tolstoy in "War and Peace" secularly "passed off" Nikolai Rostov as a scary princess, clearly describing that, they say, the groom's family is in distress, and the aunt, although a little old and outwardly not very attractive, is rich, and she is a person still good (this is very relevant, with the availability of capital, quality). The bride of Nikolai, Sonya, who had been faithfully waiting for him for many years, seemed to be not a bad person either, but due to her lack of a dowry, this quality was not quoted. The girl was gently pushed away. At the end of the novel, she also scolded the author for the fact that, having not given birth (from the holy spirit, apparently) a bunch of children, she turned out to be a barren flower. The author did not condemn Nicholas in any way, but quite even approved and rewarded him with the happiness of family life. Why not?

B) In addition, the average man is most often not particularly mercantile when he meets just for sex (he can name other reasons and motives, but in fact he doesn’t plan anything serious with this woman). In such a situation, if the lady has "only" a pretty muzzle and large breasts, documents on ownership of real estate in the States and a businessman dad are not required from her. Most gentlemen will indeed even pay for coffee without complaints, especially since this coffee guarantees regular and high-quality sex. True, the relationship, for some reason mysterious to the lady, "does not work out" and falls apart (after one night or after five years of grinding). But even in such cases, aunts tend to find any other explanation, except for elementary male commercialism: well, a person doesn’t want to marry a hungry woman.

Thus, it is necessary to evaluate the commercialism of an average man according to global things:
1. Whom is he married to.
2. Who are the spouse's parents.
3. In whose apartment does he live.
4. On whose money does the business or in whose company does he work.

Only these significant milestones can clarify the situation. The same individuals who simply take loans in the name of their beloved and run away, nevertheless, are not average, this phenomenon is rarer and more related to the criminal world. But we are still talking about household and mass commercialism.

Our today's hero of the "Male Look" column, Sergey, is sure that all women are mercantile, some to a lesser extent, some to a greater extent. And surprisingly, he does not see this fact as a problem, but believes that it should be so.

On this topic

“Most women consistently make the same mistake in relationships: they bore men with their problems. In fact, he is not particularly interested in your relationship with girlfriends or a capricious younger sister. Most likely, he passes this information on deaf ears in 8 cases out of 10. But it's even worse if you talk about your financial difficulties, hinting that a man should solve them. A loving guy already understands that dresses do not appear in the closet by themselves, and lipsticks do not grow on a rose bush. Therefore, you don’t need to constantly charge a man with negativity, of course, if you don’t want to lose him forever. In this case, a completely different tactic works, thanks to which you can get everything you want from him.

Most importantly, act discreetly. We immediately take hostility (although we may not show it) requests for financial assistance. Those who have enough funds to make the life of their girlfriend absolutely carefree react especially painfully. You see, relationships should be easy, simple, understandable, not burdened with a heap of problems from your loans, debts and poor relatives. When a girl starts to start these topics at every opportunity, it becomes clear that she is primarily interested in your money, which will save the poor thing from suffering, and not you yourself. Well, this is at least uninteresting, and at the very least - insulting!

Of course, a smart man knows that by nature a woman chooses a strong, reliable, accomplished, smart male who is able to take care of her and their future offspring. Therefore, saying that all women are mercantile and prudent predators is like noticing that the sky is blue and the grass is green ...

Usually, insecure men react painfully to this fact, or those who do not fall into the field of view of luxurious ladies, because they are not wealthy enough to satisfy all her needs. Well, or the third option - men who have become victims of manipulation and betrayal by the ladies.

Not everyone is able to skillfully trick men around their fingers, or, as they say now, to breed. Of course, becoming a victim of a beauty who is frankly not interested in anything other than money is not the best thing that can be. But if she is interested in meeting the right man to start a family - you are lucky, you are a real lucky one!

This is a special, rare kind of women, which I want to talk about in detail. Personally, I had to deal with such people four times, no more. After that, I came to one conclusion: men simply have no chance in front of such cunning people.

They would all conduct courses on how to communicate with the stronger sex. One of these girls, with whom I met for three years, was Masha. Of course, she was mercantile, well aware of her own worth, and it is completely clear why she chose me.

But you should have seen her pure, naive, at first glance, eyes ... You understand how the world works, but for some reason you get carried away. She was charming, sweet and did such things in bed that I lost my mind and was ready to sprinkle her with diamonds in order to somehow repay my happiness. But now about the main thing, money and all sorts of benefits, which, by the way, she did not promise. There were no problems to speak of either. It was easy, pleasant, fun for us - and all this was free for me ...

I checked her more than once, offered one thing, then another, she answered everything that she should not be pampered, and in general, the best thing I can give her is myself. It’s not a sin for a peasant to shed tears from such words, well, really. Oddly enough, this, girls, works! At such moments, we immediately turn on the knights and, inspired by your (maybe feigned, but how skillfully) disinterestedness, we rush to perform feats for you!

After thinking about this, I decided that it was incredibly pleasant to be deceived in this way. And to hell with everything, most importantly, let him not go out of his role. Agree, this option is much better than if there was a frank, stupid bitch nearby who arranged concerts, because you forgot about your anniversary or bought not two lemons in the store, but one. While Masha simply will not allow such a situation. Her wisdom and ingenuity, of course, would have found a way to leave clues for you, and this would be done so subtly that you, the fool, would not have guessed about her involvement.

Watch the video below, where the hero of Leonardo DiCaprio from the movie "The Great Gatsby" demonstrates unprecedented generosity towards the woman he loves.

Hello Yana!

After a year and a half of relationship, my eyes were opened to serious discrepancies with my boyfriend in terms of finances and who pays for whom. The relationship is such a serious first for both me and him, so I’m not sure what to do in order not to run away, but also to satisfy my needs. I would be extremely grateful for your advice!

In general, there is a guy and me. 27 years and 22 years respectively. We've been dating for a year and a half. At first everything was fine, he paid for me, sometimes I paid, went to all sorts of interesting places - museums, tourist trips, exhibitions, etc. Pretty soon they began to live together, on his initiative. We discussed our future more than once, we agree in our views (wedding, etc.). I have him, God forbid, if the second or third. He is a terrible homebody (because of this, they often quarrel, we no longer go to museums, galleries, cinemas, if we do, then on my initiative, once every two months. You can’t even take it to the park (!)), besides, an introvert. I'm also an introvert, but why not sit at home all day?

He pays for the apartment, food in half, plus I have all kinds of household chemicals. His salary, for a minute, is higher than that of the majority of the population, he is an IT specialist. Not a rich man, of course, but enough for caviar. I have a scholarship (I'm a doctoral student), plus my parents help. I am slowly starting my small business, but it’s really about the very, very beginning, there will be no talk of any profit in the coming year.

The problem is this - sometimes unforeseen financial situations arise on my part (either to pay an accountant, then I will like the collector's edition of my favorite book, then to purchase insurance, then to take an educational art course - in short, you never know these expenses?), And I pay with your pocket. Because he doesn't even offer to pay. It even started to piss me off.

In our family, dad always pays for mom and for me. Whether we go to the cinema, or go shopping, or mom’s car is junk, dad gives money, or generally he takes the car to the service and mom doesn’t even reach for her wallet. Although she works, she spends her money on herself or on gifts to her family, and she also buys household chores, of course.

I think it is clear that such a family budget model is ideal for me. All these "strictly in half" are generally incomprehensible to me, I'm not saying that it's bad - it just doesn't suit me. And it is strange for me that a man still needs to ask for money every time he needs help - otherwise he himself will not even scratch himself to offer!

When we went on vacation last summer, my father had to pay for me - because for a guy, the idea that he would pay for me (a rather big amount, but not cosmic, they were not going to the Maldives) sounded strange. He even accused me of "calculation". I had to explain that I was not used to this - I agreed that next time I would pay for two.

Ah this such, large and joint. And on the little things, everything was as it was, and it remains - I need advice for a business lawyer, for example, I tell him about it, so he nods and that's it. I'm crying again.
Somehow infuriates a woman, to be honest! Recently I met his mother (a normal woman, I can’t say anything bad) at a master class, so she complimented me - how glad she is that her son found me, so gentle, reading, smart! After all, she was so afraid that she wouldn’t get one that would constantly “give me money!”.

Well surprise! One reread one another, or what? I'm like that, money from a man is important to me.

In short, I suspect that he is either "green" and does not even think that in relations with women they usually expect care from a man (including financial) - although this was clear a hundred times in my case. Or silently "moves out" from the topic, like, I won't pay for it, but why? At the same time, he prepares breakfasts and lunches, calls a taxi, if anything. That is, it is for the basic things that he pays on his own initiative.

Am I mad with fat and youth? If not, then are such specimens amenable to re-education by that very female cunning, or will the hunchbacked grave correct and finally get used to relying only on itself?

PS. For those who want to accuse me of calculation - I don't mind buying something for the house, food and everything. But it is important for me to know and feel that my needs are important for the man with whom I live, that he wants and it is important for him to please me. I also understand that a lot of women live happily with a budget in half and do not bother at all. But this is organically unpleasant for me.

Thanks a lot.

Hello!

I think you answered your own question perfectly, but you didn't notice it. This guy has a belief that a good woman is one who does not ask for money. And you can even see where he got it from - it's his mother who teaches. Mom told you that it’s good that you are so, not mercantile, not greedy, and you don’t want only money from her son, but you just want to be his affectionate and faithful wife, without expecting any material rewards in return!

Now imagine that she tells him all her life - probably not only that. And some "all women are bitches, they only want money, just to sit on their necks and take away all the money," etc. I don’t know what kind of trauma she has in her life, or maybe not even with her, but a generation above. Someone out there (some mercantile bitch?) dragged some resource onto herself that she claimed? Maybe she herself was such a woman who did not want anything and did not bring anything, and then her husband left her for some woman, in whom he invested everything he had, and left her "with nothing"? Or some other kind of trauma associated with the fact that someone bred someone for a lot of money at her expense. Or maybe someone even claimed for her own money, and then "married and quit"? Yes, and it's not interesting. These are their cockroaches, let them treat them if they need to.

It doesn't matter at all how mercantile someone is, what he wants, and what he considers the norm. You just obviously found yourself the wrong guy, and you don’t need to start a family with this. You have an idea that your husband should act like your dad. Your dad taught you this. And if you hold on to this picture of happiness like that (that is, you are sure that if you find this, you will live happily with it all your life), then look for a husband who thinks like your father! Full of these! Just like there are plenty of women out there who want to love your boyfriend, never asking for anything, never expecting anything, and still investing their money in him!

It's great that people are all different. There is a fan for every model! So many men think exactly like your father, and their self-affirmation and self-realization is expressed in being able to treat their wife like this. If anything, it should not be difficult for him to resolve all the financial problems of the family, and he is proud of this. I know many of them, and for them it is happiness that they have such a wife, and such children who live behind them, like behind a mountain, and all together are happy. Look for this!

And with this person you will listen to claims for every penny, and it doesn’t matter who owes or owes how much to whom, how much it should be, beautiful or ugly, good or normal. By definition, he is constantly afraid that he will somehow be financially "stretched", accordingly, he constantly waits for such a blow, and only thinks how to get out of it. And with each such passage, your respect for him decreases, and irritation grows, because by this he demonstrates all those features that in your picture of the world do not adorn a man at all.

Let him find himself exactly the same as his mother described, they are. I constantly meet such people, and here in the comments they are regularly noted. There, the neighboring question-answer is a girl who cannot leave a penny for herself, give everything to others, not that there is something to ask for herself. Let these people find each other!

And I wish you to find something that will make you happy! :-)

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Every hour that I sit here and write, an unironed kitty walks around!

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Details and links are here.

While I was taking off my fur coat, he lustfully felt me ​​with his eyes and obsequiously whispered: “Come in, come in ...”

— Gordik, has your girlfriend already arrived? came a raspy old voice from the kitchen.

— She came! he shouted loudly into the kitchen, and quietly, as if justifying himself, hastily explained to me. - My mom is at home…

- Mother? - I was a little puzzled: we did not agree about my mother.

Gordey misunderstood my reaction and hastened to intimately add:

- She'll be leaving soon. On business. For a long time.

We went into an old-fashioned, badly tidied living room. Clearly an old mother is cleaning up here. Gordey is probably just vacuuming. On Sundays.

Gordey has a Moscow residence permit. Height is one meter eighty. And a scar over his right eye. Scars adorn a man, so we’ll write a scar as a plus (although this is not a brutal scar received in battle or in a fight. On the contrary, Gordey, slipping into ice, cut his eyebrow on the staircase step. Not an ounce of feat is sheer absurdity).

So what do we have? Tall Muscovite Gordey with a scar. Well, it's enough for women to curl around his fuse like flirtatious moths.

But they don't curl. They don't curl - that's all. And Gordik is already 43.

For a woman, this is generally age - alarm-alarm! - the decline of the possibility of childbearing. At this age, women are especially desperate to give birth "for themselves."

Gordik also wants to give birth. Well, in the sense that someone gave birth "for him." Well, for his mother, who "apparently will die without waiting for her grandchildren."

I introduced myself as a journalist. I have an editorial assignment. I am writing material about Moscow as a city of lonely people, about enviable brides and grooms of the capital. Randomly went to Gordey. Give an interview? Just not the usual one. Rigid. Frank. Give? - Very interesting. Ladies, of course.

- Hello, dear lady! - an elderly, but rejuvenating woman slowly enters the room, envelops me with a tenacious look. My name is Zinaida Makarovna. How can you be praised?

- And for the father?

“But you don’t need it for the father,” I smile. Just Olga.

— Olga, I covered the tea. She baked cinnamon buns. You eat, eat...

We sit down at the table. Zinaida Makarovna pours tea into cups. We talk about different things. About the capricious December March, about leaky healthcare, about how Zinaida Makarovna worked for 32 years at the same factory, about successful cinnamon in buns, about Gordey's work, about the crisis in production, about how long I was looking for a place to park.

Zinaida Makarovna is a good woman. But old. She went through hard hungry times and could not forget them. Therefore, she constantly says one phrase "You eat, eat." It's basically a common phrase. But when it is repeated a hundred times an hour, it becomes the most terrible phrase in the world. WE EAT, EAT!!!

I came to Gordey for an interview. Like a bachelor, someone's potential fiancé. Gordey does not smell a dirty trick. He is the groom. Yes. An enviable groom. And what is wrong?!

We communicate. Threesome.

From the first minute it is obvious to me from the outside why Gordey is lonely. No, the point is not that he is a latent voluptuary, and not in a mustache that has not been erased for a long time.

He's just no. NO WAY. He is a person with a “not” particle. Not interesting, not funny, not promising. High - yes. But everything else is not.

Women today are spoiled for temptation. They know "how it can be" and do not want "somehow".

They watch "Sex and the City" and think: how it happens, it turns out.

Beautiful dates, midnight bars, Manolo shoes, Manhattan's starry sky from a tiled roof, a string quartet around the corner, a basket of strawberries in the middle of winter, flowers by courier, a dressing room with revealing mirrors, a deft kiss of the protagonist ... Romance.

Gordey is sure that all this is superficial, social, conditional, and nobody needs it. His woman will appreciate his deep inner world. By the way, Gordey determines the depth himself. By eye.

Gordey and I are switching to you.

- Eat, eat. We need to marry Gordik, - says Zinaida Makarovna, wailing. He takes me as an accomplice in the employment of his son in the family. The dialogue takes place under Gordeya. He didn’t go anywhere, so he sits next to me on a stool and is silent, as if the conversation is not about him. Not proactive.

“Yes, maybe he can manage somehow, Zinaida Makarna,” I chuckle.

“It won’t work,” Mom sighs. - For 43 years, I did not manage ...

So he doesn't want to.

- He wants, he wants! - the mother frightenedly advocates for her son.

- While it is obvious that he wants to sit on a stool, fold his arms, and indulge in buns.

- Gordik, tell me! Mom orders.

“All women are mercantile,” Gordik pronounces the verdict.

- Yes? I wonder.

- Yes. Everyone needs a Moscow residence permit ...

“Yes,” I agree easily. “What else do you have, Gordey?”

- In terms of?

- In direct. Marriage is barter. My husband and I have been together for 14 years. I told him - children, legs, borscht. He to me is humor, lightness, money. Everything is fair. I don’t understand why you speak with condemnation of women as hunters for your registration, if you have nothing but her?

— How nothing? Gordey was offended.

— How nothing? Zinaida Makarovna was offended.

Well, I'm asking you: what? What is?

Well, I'm funny...

- Well, he is cheerful ... - echoes Zinaida Makarovna.

“Gordey, tell a joke,” I ask.

- About what?

About whatever you want. Any joke.

- I can't do that.

“Gordey, you are funny,” I remind him.

- There are Russian, Pole and German. On the island. Well, we got there. After the shipwreck.

— Soooo…

“Well… Here… In short… Listen, I can’t do this!!

“Here,” I conclude. “You’re not fucking funny, Gordey. You didn't bother to learn one of the dumbest jokes to make a woman laugh.

- And I don’t need a comedy club, I need a family.

“Eat, eat,” Zinaida Makarovna was confused: she understands that the interview is getting kind of strange, she didn’t imagine it like that, but she still doesn’t understand how to get out of this situation and save her son.

- And what are you, Gordey? Well, hilarious, we get it. What else? I ask.

- He's a business man. He knows how to swim, - recalls Zinaida Makarovna.

- Gordey, do you have a cauldron? - I look at Gordey point-blank.

Kazan? Gordey asks.

- What spices do you need in pilaf, Gordey?

- I have a special seasoning "for pilaf." Everybody there. I didn't go into it individually.

- Zinaida Makarovna, do not be offended, but my son is six years old. He also knows how to swim. Well, that is, cut onions, carrots and meat into a slow cooker, cover with rice, salt and seasoning, he can add. And set the mode, which I will say. This, of course, will not be pilaf. And sticky rice porridge with meat, but ...

- Olga! - Gordey pronounces my name with indignation.

- Gordey, I'm not kidding now. I'm just helping you look at yourself from the outside and evaluate yourself objectively. While you look at yourself with admiring mother's eyes. And you don't understand why other women don't do the same. Here I am explaining to you why. Are you able to earn?

- I work from the institute !!!

— I believe. But I didn't ask how long you've been working. I asked: do you know how to earn?

I don't work for free!

- Fine. I sigh. I'll ask the question in a different way. Where do you rest?

- In September I went to the Crimea. Very good, though the train is terrible, but it’s good there, in the private sector, lived near the sea.

- Where did you eat?

- There is a dining room nearby, so that the first thing is for my stomach, and I bought pies from a woman there, along the way. Not expensive, 20 rubles. Home. With cabbage. And with meat.

- What is clear?

- You can't make money.

“Eat, eat,” Zinaida Makarovna fusses. She is clearly confused even more than Gordey.

- You, Gordey, mustachioed. I say. - It is a fact. And he is registered in a three-room apartment on Trofimov Street. This is also a fact. Do you have a sister?

- Eat. How do you know?

- Well, the parents got the apartment. Mother. 32 years in the factory. Three-room, probably because there were two children of different sexes. Not a hard secret. Very common.

- What is this for? Gordey blends into the beige wall.

- To the fact that the Moscow residence permit is not your merit. It happened. It was your handicap at the start of life. But you didn't use it either. I think even mom pays for utility bills. From my pension. Guessed?

With these words, Zinaida Makarovna gets up and goes to the kitchen, muttering "Eat, eat ...", and I mercilessly continue:

“The only thing left for you to do is earn your own food. You don't stress. You earn your 20 rubles for a cabbage pie. Why should a woman love you, Gordey?

- What am I for?

- Well, it's started. How small. "What is she to me?" It is because of such a strategy, Gordey, that you are leaving the fair with nothing. Bored. Offended. Empty. Budget. Decommissioned tram. And already at the depot, Gordey, at the depot. Not scary? Like this, no results?

Why no results? Gordey gets excited. - I have so many letters!

He rushes to the pre-prepared folder. He was getting ready for the interview! He puffed out all his merits, designed on printed cardboard in A4 format. Gratitude for the activity shown ... Diploma for participation ...

“Proud,” I sigh in the tone of a tired teacher at the end of the working day. “Non-monetary incentives are great. It works great for motivation in tandem with the material, sometimes replacing it. Diplomas are not an indicator of your success. This is an indicator of the success of the personnel department in retaining staff in the workplace for a penny. And letters, if they are thrice pleasant, do not give birth to children, and do not cook borscht ...

- Didn't understand…

Gordey, I'm not a journalist. Your father sent me here. He was at my lecture on personal effectiveness. I'm lecturing. Helping people to be… effective. Your father is very worried about you. And he wants to help you. That's why….

“Maaaaaaaaaaaam,” Gordey shouts frightenedly towards the kitchen, not taking his eyes off me. - Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Zinaida Makarna enters the room and, with an offended slash at me, says:

- I'm leaving now, I need to go to the savings bank ...

Mom, she's from her father. Scout.

Zinaida Makarovna dumbfoundedly looks at me.

Are you from Pavel?

- From Pavel Ivanovich.

- She's a psychologist, Mom. She came to heal me.

“I am not a psychologist, Gordey Pavlovich. I didn't say so. In this case, I am ... a diagnostician. Your father paid me. So that I come and ... be myself. I'm the ripper of illusions. But sometimes it is very useful. He worries about you.

Gordey got up from the stool and to me, sitting, his meter eighty seemed to be all two.

- My father is a thief! - Gordey said almost in syllables. - He's an official. Takes bribes. Stealing from the state!

"It's a pity you can't do that, is it?" I leaned back in my chair.

- What can't I do? Steal? Yes, I will never do that!

Proud, I believe. To take bribes, one must be risky, flexible and reckless. You need to be able to be on a team. You need to agree with everyone around about silence, including your own conscience.

- Here, conscience! Gordey raises his index finger.

You work for a stationery company, right? I ask, standing up abruptly and walking over to my desk. On it are three stacks of paper in packages, a scattering of pens, markers, a brand new stapler. Gordey, did you buy this stapler?

“I bought it,” the crimson Gordey’s eyebrows swell.

- You're lying. It is obvious. You stole it. Taken out of work. Easily agreed with his conscience. Since you pay me with letters, I will pay you with "honesty", you thought. You are a thief, Gordey. As is your father. Only he steals at the state level, and you - at the level of paper clips.

Are you accusing me of something?

- God forbid, Gordey! I'm not from the prosecutor's office. Catching criminals is not my speciality. I came to expose you. But for yourself. For your own good.

“Father wanted to pull you out of this viscous mother’s care. And leaving her, from her mother, he called you with him. How old were you? 25? When you took refuge with your mother with one grudge against your father, and disguised your weakness with your conscience. Of course, it's easier that way. And you sit, waiting for someone to appreciate. And there are no connoisseurs. There's only mom. But mom doesn't count. Her job is to love you unconditionally. And in the company, Gordey, in which you work, female colleagues see right through you. Why would they need a forty-year-old bore with paper clips? You're not even good for lovers. Lover, he is not only sex, he is inspiration and gifts. What about you? Stapler and “a German, a Pole and a Russian meet ..”?

Ten minutes later, the door closes behind me. It closes too quickly to be called "she left." I was kicked out.

I dial Pavel Ivanovich's number.

- Well? he asks instead of greeting.

- Well, everything.

- Everything, as I said. Leave the boy alone.

- The boy is 43.

- He is infantile like Carlson, who lives on the roof, my six-year-old son has more responsibility. But he is happy.

What do you mean "happy"? With mom at 43? Without a family and without children? Storekeeper? Or who is he... My daughter today held an IPO for her company abroad. Crap! As if these are children from different mothers, they did not grow up in the same family !!

- Pal Ivanovich, you can’t make a person happy by force. You can't cure a disease that he doesn't recognize. He is well. With mom and cabbage pie. He is too weak to have the courage to evaluate himself from the outside. He lacks his mother's grades. His problems are to blame for the boss who does not pay, the women who do not love, the government that does not care, the Russian Railways that raised prices, Gazprom that does not fulfill his dreams, the father who "left" him, the baby, at 25 and left mom. This is the easiest position in life. He froze in her like in amber. And nowhere. And what? He is a sufferer, and a victim, and noble, and honest, and a defender, and a man of his word. Straight hero. Our time. Even if you forcibly pull it out, hire psychologists and trainers, inflict your happiness, all in vain.

— Because 43?

- Not really. Age has nothing to do with it. You can change even at 93. But the first step is to admit the problem. And he doesn't have them.

- And what to do?

I say leave him alone.

- I can't. He is my son. He is falling into an abyss. I have to help him.

- Pal Ivanych, but this is your problem. Hire a coach and work out this irrepressible desire to babysit a forty-year-old uncle, work out your latent guilt for the “lost” child. This is your obvious problem, not Gordeya.

- Clear. Will you work with me?!

No, I'm not a psychologist. I am a diagnostician. Well…therapist. I can cure the flu. Runny nose. Cough. I can read the hemoglobin in the tests. And if something serious - it's to a specialist. I can contact...

I am going home. Now I’ll put aside all my affairs and write a post about it, while it’s hot, fresh, not lived. I will only change the names. Here it is, objective reality, without embellishment. The ruthless truth of life.

And in the evening I will cook pilaf. I have zira, saffron, turmeric, barberry….